


Alphys and the Queen

by Ringcaat



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Acrostic, Alternate Titles, Angst, Bad Puns, Bonus Songs, Bridge (card game), Cell Phone, Chemistry, Comedy, Dark Sans, Dead Asgore, Dead Papyrus, Desperation, Determination (Undertale), Drama, Earthbound - Freeform, F/F, Forgiveness, Game Shows, Gen, Ghosts, Golden Flowers, Home, Hotland (Undertale), Hypothermia, Intrigue, Journal Entries, Judgment, Memories, Metaphysics, Mice, Original Amalgamates (Undertale), Original Monsters (Undertale), POV Alphys, POV Gerson, POV Monster Kid, POV Sans, POV Toriel, POV Undyne, Parent Toriel (Undertale), Penance - Freeform, Pie, Post-Undertale Neutral Route - Exiled Queen Ending, Presents, Puzzles, Queen Toriel, Roleplay, Romance, Science, Smelting, Snails, Snowdin, Song Parody, Spaghetti, Spiders, Suicidal Thoughts, Surprise Pairing, Suspense, The Ruins (Undertale), Undertale Neutral Route, Undertale Saves and Resets, Videotapes, Violence, Waterfall (Undertale), butterscotch - Freeform, new home, puns, shrines, xmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 03:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 227,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9366881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ringcaat/pseuds/Ringcaat
Summary: Neutral ending time, folks! Queen Toriel has returned to rule, but things are never smooth for a new ruler, especially when times are grim. Conflicting ideologies threaten to tear apart the Underground... and at the heart of it sits the royal scientist, staggering under the weight of her secrets.Things may go in unexpected directions, so if you want to enjoy this story to the fullest, I suggest not reading the tags.





	1. Cool Gray Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome to my Undertale novel! It began in the summer of '16 as something small and amusing; then it got dramatic, and soon it was the most important thing in my life. It's finished now-42 chapters, posted one a week, plus a bonus chapter with extras at the end.
> 
> If you read on, you can expect to find drama, angst, worldbuilding, romance and comedy with a bit of hurt/comfort and action thrown in. I love getting comments, and I'd be tickled to see your reactions as you read, if you like the story enough that you'd find that fun. There's a good chance I'll respond!
> 
> Enjoy the tale! :-)
> 
> -Ringcaat

**PART I: A QUEEN'S QUEST  
**

* * *

**Scene 1: Cool Gray Tears**  
or  
“Death Report”

* * *

Against the backdrop of a glowing, fluctuating hall filled with the sounds of aching, the judge stared at a pile of dust.  
  
What he felt at that moment was definitely negative, but it wasn’t disappointment.  It was dread.  Dread, mixed with a little curiosity, at the disappointment that _others_ would soon be feeling all across the kingdom.  All because of a little pile of dust.  And a wall that wouldn’t stop moaning with the pain of its own existence.  
  
The judge went forth and spread the word to the storytellers.  The storytellers spread the word to the royal guard, and the guard informed its captain.  The captain of the guard arrived in a rage, made a fuss, gave orders, and set a dozen things in motion before stamping home to complain to her neighbor.  But by that time, the judge was long gone.  
  
A whisper of despair blew like a dust storm through the kingdom of monsters.

* * *

Meanwhile, in a living room on the fringe of the kingdom, the former queen sat reading one of her books for the eighty-third time.  It had been some years since her last reading of it, so the little tidbits were fresh for her enjoyment.  
  
_Number eight hundred sixty-one,_ she read, pronouncing each word aloud in her mind.  _The tiny teeth that cover the radula are called 'denticles.'_  
  
Toriel paused to savor this word.  _Denticles._   Small teeth.  Toothlets.  Dentinas!  Mini-choppers.  Chuckling, she sank a little deeper into her easy chair before deciding to continue forth to number eight hundred sixty-two.  
  
It was at that moment her reverie was interrupted by twinkling droplets at the edge of vision.  Fearing that Whimsuns had invaded her house again, she promptly set down the book.  But it was only her friend Napstablook, forming from specks and nothingness in their peculiar fashion.  
  
This was a relief… except that despite being her chief conduit to the outside world, the ghost had never appeared directly in Toriel’s home before.  Typically, if she saw them appear at all, it would be in the catacombs, submerged shyly into the floor, or behind a pillar.  Or inside a pillar.  She stiffened: something must be wrong.  
  
Her incorporeal visitor, now fully formed, said nothing, only turning to not quite make eye contact.  Toriel waited in patient consternation.  She was determined to draw out the courage in Napstablook, to teach them basic politeness, which in this case meant them speaking first.  So she only drummed her fingers on the cover of her book, looking grim, until finally…  
  
"ummmmmm, sorry to burst in like this.  i guess you must be pretty busy..."  
  
Her fingers stilled with one last -plomp-.  “What is it, my friend?  Has something occurred?”  
  
Napstablook looked away awkwardly—so much for partial eye contact.  “um… funny you should put it like that… because, well, the answer is yes, good job.  something did happen…”  
  
Of course it had.  Toriel was nearly certain she knew what it was, too.  Only days before, her ninth child had passed all too briefly through her care.  She was not even justified in thinking of them as her child, as they had only spent a day with her, and yet she could not help it.  “And what was that?” she asked.  
  
“…it’s a little awkward to talk about,” said Napstablook.  
  
With this individual, that was hardly news.  Yet Toriel could see how it might indeed be awkward to inform a mother that, yet again, her child had perished at the unfathomably cruel hands of the one she used to love.  She had done everything in her power to stop this child from leaving, everything short of incapacitating them through battle or forcing them to kill her.  “I see,” she replied.  
  
The ghost shied back a little.  "maybe it's better if i don't just tell you at all... that way you won't have to think about anyone from the past... i know it's awkward when people talk about my exes... and i don't even really have any exes..."  
  
“It is all right, my friend.”  Of course, it was _not_ all right.  But what could she say?  When this news had come in the past, it had been delivered by spiders, or by the tiny frogs who lived in the wall—all more able messengers than Napstablook.  Yet she would take the news of her child’s death however it came to her.  “You are speaking of King Asgore, I presume?  Am I right to infer that he has done something unspeakable?”  
  
The ghost now seemed to be staring through their own body at the floor _behind_ themselves.  Well, if the matter truly was unspeakable, she could hardly blame her informant for not speaking about it, could she?  
  
She would bite the bullet and say it herself, then.  “My child.  My child is dead.  Is that what you have come to tell me?”  Her voice became a growl.  “That my ex-husband has murdered another innocent child, all in the name of war?”  
  
“oh.  um, this is really is awkward.  no, not exactly…”  
  
With a gasp, then, Toriel remembered.  This was the seventh.  If Asgore had successfully preserved his barbaric trophies, this one would tip the scales.  She rose to her full two-meter height, looming over the uneasy ghost.  “ _No,_ ” she said.  “This is _not_ like before, because this was his seventh soul.”  His seventh atrocity; his seventh foul stone cast into the abyssal river of sin.  “Has he broken the barrier then, Napstablook?  Is that what you have come to say?  That the barrier is destroyed, and we are free to wage war with humanity all over again?”  In truth, the prospect of freedom excited her, but not at the cost of seven innocent lives.  
  
The snail farmer cringed.  “um… no…”  
  
“No?  He has _not_ broken it?  Does he plan to break it, then?”  
  
“…ummmm… no…”  
  
She felt her toes strain against the wooden floor.  “Did his plan fail, then?” she uttered, nearly spitting the words.  “Did he harvest his last innocent soul, only to discover that the legend was untrue, and that he could not break the barrier no matter how many children he butchered?!”  
  
“i guess there’s no point in dragging it out,” said the ghost.  “he’s, uh.  he’s dead.”  
  
Toriel’s ears twitched.  She unclenched her hands.  “Dead?”  
  
Slowly, the ghost drifted back.  “…yeah… i heard from my neighbor.  that kid went to see him, but i guess they didn’t really get along… that happens sometimes, you know…”  
  
Toriel stood in stunned silence.  
  
“…anyway, that’s all i wanted to say.  i guess i’ll be going…  sorry for being such a drama queen about it all…”  
  
“Wait!” she commanded.  Her voice broke; she could not believe what she found herself having to process.  “Are you telling me that Asgore… Asgore Dreemurr, King of Monsters… is dead?”  
  
Napstablook stopped retreating.  “oh.  yeah, that’s the gist of it.  they went in to see him after the kid came through, but all they found was dust… so it’s looking pretty good for ‘dead’…”  
  
Toriel broke.  She wept at first standing up, then collapsed into her easy chair and put her hands to her face.  She did not even know, at first, what she was weeping for, so unprepared had she been for this news.  But it came to her soon enough: she was weeping for the fact that it was all over.  Asgore.  The vendetta against humanity.  The quest for freedom, the ghastly collection, the endless parade of blood.  All of it, at long last, done!  She could not pull her hands away from her face.  
  
“…well… i guess i could stay and cry with you a little,” she heard her companion offer.  “if that’s what you’re doing now.”  
  
She beckoned uncoordinatedly and continued to weep.  Soon, the ghost’s presence was beside her, and before long she was deluged with their cool, gray tears.  Relieved of being the only one weeping, Toriel sank further into her cushions.  Soothed by the coolness of her companion’s tears, she presently fell asleep.  
  
Dreams followed that touched on the distant past.  Images and memories of a son she would never see again, _her_ son, of her own essence, flowed past, their emotional content tinged with the sea-green flavor of inevitability.  Waves of loss left their mark as she relived the pain of leaving Asgore, prolonged and embellished with dreamer’s fancy.   Memories of her first few days alone in the Ruins commingled with memories of her very first days in the Underground.  She had lived for far too long.  She sailed through ages of regret, distant hope, and sorrow.  
  
When she woke, Toriel’s robe was dry.  The ghost’s tears were powerful, but they did not linger.  She was relaxed.  Her sadness was not gone, but it had found a place in her and settled.  Her tears were done.  She desired hope again.  
  
When she looked to the floor, she found her incorporeal companion still present, lying at an oblique angle and staring at nothing.  
  
Her mind now clear, Toriel began to wonder what came next.  With Asgore gone, who would lead the Underground?  Suddenly, with a rush of apprehension, she realized.  That duty fell to _her_.  
  
“Napstablook?” she asked.  
  
The figure rippled, reluctantly awakening.  “hm?”  
  
“With Asgore gone… do you think the monsters will need someone new to lead them?”  
  
The ghost blinked.  “i guess…  most people don’t like being unled, you know.  too much responsibility…”  
  
Toriel paused over her next words, because these were not words one could take back.  But she was an honest monster, and after a deep breath, she forced herself to speak.  “In that case, I shall go to the castle, and I shall serve once more as queen.”  The words sounded hollow to her, as if they had merely been a line in a play, spoken by somebody else.  
  
Napstablook peeled themselves up from the floor and failed again to establish eye contact.  “well… i guess you can do that, if you like… i wouldn’t stop you.  not that i could ever stop anyone from doing anything…”  
  
She leaned over.  “But would you wish to stop me, my friend?”  
  
“…ohhh… no… i don’t think the kingdom could really get a better queen than you…”  
  
It was rather tepid encouragement, but Toriel would take it.  She would need support in what she was about to attempt.   She knew almost nothing of the state of the world beyond the Ruins—only that which Napstablook and her various penpals told her—but she did know that, despite her centuries of reclusion, she was still the queen.  She would be remiss if she did not go.  At long last, her leadership was needed again.  
  
Toriel walked to the hallway mirror and looked herself over.  She put on a regal face.  How much leadership was left in her, after all this time?  Had she grown too soft?  Would she be a relic of a past era, hopelessly behind the times?  
  
Would the monsters be receptive to her leadership?  What if, under Asgore’s rule, they had grown cruel or numb?  
  
Well then, she decided, at the very least, she could set an example.  If she could not lead the monsters, she would at least show them how to live.  After all, Toriel had been living for a very long time.  That much, she was confident she could provide.

[+]


	2. The Queen Settles In

**Scene 2: The Queen Settles In**  
or  
“But the Guard Refused to Serve”

* * *

Two figures in black metal stood before the rest, evidently keeping command of the company.  Behind them loomed the great front face of the castle.  As the white figure advanced to meet them, they drew their swords and held them at the ready with identical defensive motions.  
  
“…who goes there?” said the taller of the two in a sharp, clipped voice.  
  
“ohhh… well, if you’re asking who i am, i guess you could say i’m… nobody important.  i mean, that isn’t my name.  i’m not trying be clever.  i’m just trying to convey how unimportant i am compared to the person who sent me.”  
  
“And like, who’s that, dude?” inquired the shorter, sturdier guard.  
  
The ghost disintegrated bit by bit, leaving the shape of Toriel’s face behind as the last part to disintegrate.  The face’s placid expression turned confused as it vanished.  Moments later, the ghost reformed some distance away, and floated back to the guards in black.  “sorry… that was meant to be more dramatic than it was… maybe you saw the shape of my client’s head before I fell apart… or maybe you didn’t… but anyway, she’s… the rightful queen of the underground… she’s a lot more together than i am…  sorry, i’m not used to being an agent, really.  i’m more used to mixing…”  
  
“You’re an agent, bro?” said the shorter guard, waving his sword with a little more gusto.  
  
“…rightful queen?” repeated the other.  
  
“ummm, well, she was married to asgore… and she lived alone for a long time in the old ruins, but a long time ago she was the queen… so she’s got… experience, i guess… you know what, why don’t you just talk to her… she’d probably explain this all better.”  
  
The guards lined up before the castle watched this exchange with interest.  Toriel knew they must be afraid of what would come next, their futures in limbo.  She stepped forward to join Napstablook.  The visual impact of the scene did not escape her—two white figures facing two black figures against the largely gray backdrop of New Home.  
  
Their swords crossed before her.  She tried not to wince.  “I am Toriel, once called Toriel Dreemurr, wife of Asgore and former queen of the realm.  Perhaps you remember me from your history books?”  
  
The two leading guards exchanged a confused glance.  “Like, that sounds kinda familiar,” said one.  “And you do look pretty bossin’.”  
  
“…boss monster,” said the other.  
  
“Whoa, dude, you’re right!  She is a boss monster… just like Asgore!  You don’t suppose…”  He leaned in to whisper, but Toriel could still hear his voice.  “…that this is really Asgore in disguise, and he’s just playing a big prank?”  
  
The taller guard stared back incredulously.  
  
“No no, you’re right, bro.  That’d be silly.”  He looked back to Toriel.  “So you’re, like, the legit queen?”  
  
“I am!”  Toriel bestowed her most comforting smile.  “And I wish to resume leadership so that you and your fellow guards not need be afraid.”  
  
None of the guards behind the leaders spoke, but Toriel could tell they stood with renewed hope.  These monsters, at least, were glad to see her.  “02, like, what do you think?” asked the shorter guard.  
  
“…new leader,” said the quiet one.  
  
They turned to face Toriel in tandem.  “Well, I guess that’s it, then!  Do we, like, call you ‘Your Majesty,’ or what?”  
  
“You may call me by the same title you called Asgore!” said Toriel, still smiling.  
  
They exchanged a glance.  “He, uh… kinda told us to call him ‘King-a-ling,’ or ‘Mr. Gorey,’ or if we were _really_ being formal…”  
  
“…King Fluffybuns,” finished the other.  
  
Toriel grimaced.  “’Your Majesty’ will be fine.”  
  
“All right, Let’s get you secure in your place of power, Your Maj!  To the throne room!”  
  
“well… since that seemed to go okay, i guess i’ll just head home,” said Napstablook.  “if that’s alright…”  
  
It would have been a comfort to have their company, but Toriel knew she must not push.  “Thank you for accompanying me this far, my friend.  I will be in good hands now.”  
  
“oh… i guess that’s good… i don’t really know about hands… i’ll see you later then, bye…”  
  
“Until we meet again, my friend,” said Toriel, doing her best to stand tall.  Once the ghost was out of sight, she turned to her guards and clasped her hands loosely together in the way she remembered doing a millennium before.  “Let us go to the throne room,” she commanded.

* * *

The flowers, she had to admit, were a comfort.  At this stressful time, the presence of golden flowers (and assorted others) in Asgore’s throne room soothed both her nose and her soul.  She would have to continue tending the garden as Asgore had.  It also touched her that he had kept her throne for all this time, just in case she might happen to return.  Had he been hoping for reconciliation, she wondered, despite everything?  It was a beautiful thing to witness hope, she had to admit—even the hope of a murderer.  
  
“Will she be here soon, do you think?” she asked the more talkative of her two chief guards.  
  
Something crashed in the distance.  The elevator, Toriel imagined, had somehow impacted the top of its shaft, as if whoever had brought it to this level had made it arrive _exceptionally_ hard.  She glanced at her guards in consternation.  
  
“Dude!  Perfect timing, Your Maj!  I’m just gonna go ahead and announce Undyne, Captain of the Guard!”  Both guards raised their swords in salute.  
  
Toriel began to rise before recalling that as reigning monarch, she was expected to sit.  She sat tight as a series of loud noises advanced up the hall.  The two guards went to the double doors and pulled them carefully open.  
  
A blue-faced figure in black was revealed, her face simultaneously consternated and angry.  Her piscine features (save for one eye hidden by a black patch) seemed like they were accustomed to these emotions.  Her every muscle quivering, the figure looked at the open doors, seized them by the handles, and slammed them shut on herself, apparently just for the purpose of slamming them.  Moments later, she crashed through again, raising dust and knocking one door off its hinge.  
  
Toriel cringed back in her seat.  Would her guards protect her?  Had they been unwise to leave the others outside?  But they only raised their swords higher in martial fashion, making it clear that this was, indeed, their captain.  
  
The captain was pink-haired, Toriel now saw.  Pink hair on a fish—that must have taken extraordinary force of will to grow, as fish were normally hairless!  She also had no trouble walking on land, apart from the fact that every step was a stomp.  
  
Once within polite speaking distance, the captain proceeded to shout as if she were still across the room.  “You!!” she bellowed, pointing at Toriel.  “You’re pretending to be our queen?!”  
  
It had seemed too easy.  Knowing that this was a situation that must be handled at once, Toriel stood.  “I _am_ the queen.  I was queen long ago, and I am still queen.  It is true that I left for a while.  But now I am back.”  
  
The pink-haired captain grinned horribly.  “Seahorse pockey!  Anyone could say that!”  Her pointing arm redoubled its thrust.  “If you’re the queen, prove it!  
  
Toriel had almost hoped to assume the throne without any sort of authentication, but this captain was clearly less trusting than her company.  “How shall I prove it?” she asked.  “Shall I recite facts about the history of our people?  I was there when we retreated into the Underground.  It was my husband, King Asgore, who named this city."  
  
“So _you’re_ the ex Asgore never liked talking about?”  The angry fish steamed as she considered this.  “You know what?  If you were married to Asgore, you should be able to tell us FACTS about him!  Things his wife would have to know!”  
  
Toriel stifled the urge to swallow.  “That is reasonable,” she replied.  
  
The captain straightened up smugly, as though she had already triumphed.  “Number one,” she declared.  “What was Asgore’s favorite combat move?”  
  
Now Toriel panicked internally.  Combat move?  She had no idea!  The last time she had seen Asgore in true combat, they had still dwelt on the surface!  “I am afraid I do not remember!  That was a long time ago.  I could tell you his favorite song, however, or his favorite kind of soup, or… or his favorite star.”  
  
The captain reacted with anger.  "I don't know ANY of that nonsense!  I asked you his favorite combat move, and if you really _were_ his wife, you would KNOW it!"  
  
Toriel scowled, though she suspected it would not help her chances.  “The husband I knew was not a destroyer of men,” she countered.  _Until he became one,_ she did not add.  “He was a staunch defender of peace.”  
  
Now the captain’s grin grew disturbingly large and toothy.  “He was, huh?  Well, he taught _me_ to fight!”  She tapped her breastplate twice, hard.  “And his best move was the Double Rain of Fire!”  She shot forward, waving her arms and slipping in curved paths to mimic chains of deadly fireballs.  “You don’t know _that_ , you weren't really married to him at all!"  
  
"I was his wife and constant companion for centuries!" Toriel retorted.  She might have tried guessing the attack—she had her own that was similar to what the guard had shown her.  This was distressing: she was losing her even disposition.  
  
“Number two!” the fish guard continued.  “What was Asgore’s greatest fear?”  
  
This one, Toriel reflected, she ought to know.  Had they not shared their hopes and fears together on many a night beneath the sparkling stones?  Yet no clear answer occurred to her.  
  
The captain’s ribbed ears expanded.  “Well?!”  
  
Toriel ventured the answer most likely to be true, even if it wasn’t what her inquisitor wanted to hear.  “He feared that the barrier keeping us from the surface would never be broken.  That hope would never lead to freedom, and that we would never make our peace with humankind.”  
  
“WRONG!”  With a brief flash of that white grin, the irascible warrior leapt and landed nearly within reach of Toriel, shaking the floor.  “His greatest fear was that he would die alone!”  
  
She actually cackled as she made that grim pronouncement.  Toriel’s heart was menaced: was it true?  Had dying alone really been Asgore’s greatest fear after she left him?  And… and had it come to pass?  
  
“Asgore,” she whispered, staring.  
  
“DON’T GIVE ME THAT!” yelled the captain.  “He meant nothing to you!  You probably never met him at all!"  
  
Toriel could not muster the will to respond to this.  Instead, she was imagining her erstwhile husband confessing his heartfelt fear to this warrior.  “And he did die alone!” she moaned in despair.  
  
“What?  NO!” cried the captain.  She clanged a heavy gauntlet to her breast.  “He had _me!_   I was with him to the end!  His most loyal friend!  …Unless of course you mean it in the literal sense, in which case, no, I wasn’t in the room, the human got past me and _humiliated_ me, but at least the human was in the room when it killed him!  So he wasn’t alone in the literal sense, either!”  
  
How comforting.  “Captain,” said Toriel.  “I could speak to you at length about Asgore’s inner life, even if I cannot guess the precise answers you are looking for.”  
  
“ _I’m not your captain,_ ” hissed the fish.  She swung her stare to the other guards.  “This is an impostor!” she declared to them.  “Seize her!  She’s no more queen of the Underground than I am!”  
  
The two guards oscillated uncertainly.  Toriel suspected that they would obey.  In a panic, she stood and exclaimed: “Wait!  The leader of the spiders will vouch for me!”  
  
The three eyed her with puzzlement.  
  
“Really!” she insisted.  “Even if no one still lives from before I went away, Muffet at least knows who I am.  We have been in correspondence, thanks to her subjects small enough to crawl through the cracks in the catacomb walls.  What is more, the ghost who runs the Waterfall snail farm knows me, as does the shy singer from that region.  There is even a sentry in Snowdin Forest who knows my voice through the door!  
  
“..can check,” said the quiet guard.  
  
The captain glared at him, then at Toriel, frowning deeply.  “Are you saying you want us to just trust a few random monsters?  For all I know, you’ve paid them off!”  
  
Toriel glared firmly back. “Ask them questions about their relationship with me.  Check their accounts against one another.  You will see that they are genuine.”  
  
The captain fumed.  Finally, she wheeled her arm around as if to hurl down a spear she did not carry.  “Fine!” she snapped.  “We’ll check their stories.  But don’t expect me to answer to you in the meantime, ‘Toriel’!  My gut tells me you’re not the real queen.  Heck, you could even be the one who stole the human souls!”  She turned to the others.  “You two!  Until we know for sure, keep an eye on her.  Make sure she doesn’t steal anything, including the monsters’ hearts!  Don’t let her into the coffin room, and don’t treat her too nicely!”  
  
The two saluted with their swords.  The captain cast one last smoldering glare at Toriel, then stamped away, smashing the doors open again on her way out.  They were not built to open either way; one fell off its hinges entirely.  
  
Toriel stared after for a few moments.  Carefully, then, she inhaled the scent of flowers, seated herself, and made an effort to regain her earlier serenity.  
  
The guards remained silent.  Toriel was grateful.  “I dare say that could have gone better,” she assessed.  “What do you two think?”  
  
“…” said the taller guard.  
  
“That is curious!  You remind me of my friend Napstablook when you say things like that.”  
  
“…” he continued.  
  
A bright point occurred to Toriel.  “It is certainly unfortunate that I could not win your captain’s trust, but I can only presume that she is suffering from a great deal of pressure.  Did she not say that the human souls had been stolen?”  
  
“That’s right, Your Maj,” said the shorter guard.  “They just, like, disappeared!”  
  
“So the king is suddenly gone, and his plan for freedom has gone with him.  No doubt your captain was bound to release her anger upon somebody!  If so, I am just as glad that it was me.  I am accustomed to dealing with the occasional tantrum.”  
  
The quiet guard cleared his throat.  
  
Toriel hoped that she was being charming.  “Yes?  Do you have something to say?”  
  
He swung his sword in the direction of the departed captain.  “Testy.”  
  
“I rather agree,” said Toriel, relieved that he seemed to be sympathetic.  “But I must ask—do you agree with your captain’s sentiments?”  
  
His partner spoke up, undulating as he did.  “Like, Your Maj, I totally believe you’re the queen!  And I’m sure 02 does too, right, bro?  Undyne’s just choked up about everything.  She was maybe more gung-ho than anyone about breaking us free.”  
  
Toriel was personally not terribly upset to hear that the collection of souls was gone.  She had opposed it from the start and found it unconscionable.  She was not even particularly eager to return her people to the surface, given that further strife and perhaps warfare would undoubtedly greet them there.  Still, she respected the desire for freedom as a healthy one, at least in theory.  “I hope she has not been telling people about the loss of the souls.  It would be better for us to keep that to ourselves until we have decided what to do about it.”  
  
“Sure thing!” said the more talkative guard.  “But still, she is, like, our captain.  We’ve gotta follow her orders.”  
  
Toriel folded her hands irately.  “Even to the point of not treating me nicely until my identity is proven?”  
  
“ _…too_ nicely,” clarified the taller guard.  
  
“Very then, then.  You may treat me with the precise amount of niceness you believe is appropriate, and not an iota more.”  
  
The guards nodded, swaying slightly in unison.  
  
Toriel reflected, sitting more deeply.  “It may be just as well that Captain Undyne stormed out.  I suspect she probably would not have been receptive to the subject I summoned her to discuss.”  
  
The taller guard stretched in a manner that was somehow inquisitive.  
  
“I am considering disbanding the royal guard,” she explained.  
  
The two looked uneasily at one another.  “…disbanding?” inquired the tall one.  
  
Toriel pressed her arms firmly to the padding of her throne.  “The guard does nothing but protect me and attempt to capture humans, does it?  I personally do not feel that I need a guard.  I am capable of defending myself.  And if I am met with a strong and devoted force that I cannot handle… well, perhaps it is right that I should be overpowered.”  
  
“…surely,” protested the tall guard.  
  
“The monarch serves the people, does she not?  If the monsters of the kingdom wish so fervently to be rid of me that they raise an army against me, who am I to say they are wrong?  I may be wiser than the average monster, but I am hardly wiser than all monsterkind.”  She knew her logic was strange, but she believed deeply in it.  “As for capturing humans, I am ready to put an end to that.  If any more should enter our domain, I am inclined to treat them with kindness until they prove unworthy.  It is important to give people the benefit of the doubt.”  
  
The two guards stared at her in shock.  Oh dear.  Had she lost them?  
  
“Am I so wrong?” she asked.  “If so, please tell me what I am missing.”  
  
The more talkative guard gulped.  Uh… well, that’s one way to look at it, your bodaciousness, but think about it!  If you disband the guard… like, we won’t have jobs!  And that’s groovy for me, I guess, ‘cause I could go back to magma surfing, but what about 02?  Like, this is his life!”  
  
It saddened Toriel to think that anyone’s ‘life’ could be dedicated to violence, even for the purpose of preventing other violence.  “Do not mistake me—I would gladly retain the two of you as attendants.  But I am not convinced that the rest of the guard serves a useful purpose.”  
  
“…” said the quiet guard, raising his sword a little higher.  
  
“Well, we totally like to think of ourselves as useful, if that matters,” said the other.  
  
Toriel sighed.  She could hardly expect that royal guards would be in favor of their own institution’s dissolution.  “Let us table the issue for now,” she decided, trying to strike a more optimistic tone.  “There is plenty to consider first.  For one thing, I would like to meet my royal staff!”  
  
“Oh, sure, right on!” said the talkative guard, after which he immediately fell silent.  
  
“…well?” asked Toriel.  “Will you not summon them?”  
  
“Uh… who exactly do you want me to summon, Your Maj?”  
  
“Surely there must be more than just the guard!”  
  
“Well, there is that funny little guy who comes around sometimes… but I think he ditched us when Asgore kicked it.”  
  
“There is no one else living in the castle?” Toriel asked in disbelief.  She strove to remember names and faces from long ago—what were the standard royal posts?  “Oh!  Do I have a royal scientist?”  
  
The shorter guard nodded enthusiastically, apparently in relief.  “You sure do, Your Maj!  She’s got a lab in Hotland!”  
  
This was intriguing—the chief scientist of the Underground was female?  It had not surprised Toriel to find a woman in charge of the guard, for she knew well the controlled ferocity a woman could conjure in support of her cause.  But the royal scientist?  To her mind, science was a more masculine pursuit.  Which was not to say a woman could not do well at it, of course—it simply surprised her.  
  
“Excellent!  In that case, perhaps I should pay her a call.”  
  
The quiet guard shifted uncomfortably.  “…”  
  
Toriel raised a thick eyebrow.  
  
“…she’s… jumpy.”  
  
“Jumpy?” she inquired.  
  
The other guard jumped in.  “So what I think 02’s getting at is, uh… she might not be too happy if the queen just, like, dropped in all of a sudden.”  
  
That was certainly fair.  “I see!  Well, in that case, I suppose I shall call her.  May I assume that she has a phone?”  
  
The pair looked uncomfortable.  
  
“…Do you mean to tell me that the royal scientist of the Kingdom of Monsters does not possess a phone?”  
  
“Oh, she’s got a phone.  It’s just, uh…”  
  
“…jumpy.”  
  
Toriel lowered her eyebrows.  “Am I to take it that even an unexpected phone call might upset her?”  
  
They nodded in uncanny synchronization.  
  
Toriel sighed.  “I suppose that sending her a letter is the polite thing to do, then.”  
  
The two exchanged yet another uneasy look.  
  
She folded her hands.  “Now, really!”  
  
“Uh… well, Your Wooliness, it’s just that she gets a ton of mail these days, and it kinda piles up, you know?  She even got rid of her mailslot!  But, like, whenever I pass by, there’s still mail!”  
  
“…under the door.”  
  
“This is hardly acceptable,” said Toriel.  “Do you know for a fact that she is even still at home?”  
  
“…she goes to the dump,” said the quiet guard.  
  
“Yeah, she’s around, but I think she’s actually _afraid_ of mail,” said the talkative one.  
  
This was becoming ridiculous.  “In that case, with what form of communication is she comfortable?”  
  
“…undernet.”  
  
“I beg your pardon?” said Toriel.  
  
“Like, the Undernet?  Are you familiar with it?  It’s like, a series of tubes.  It’s tubular!”  
  
How quaint.  “And it does what, precisely?”  
  
“It lets you, um…”  
  
“…talk to computers.”  
  
Toriel leaned forward, doing her best to maintain her patience.  “I see!  And those are?”  
  
The guards were getting more uncomfortable by the moment.  “You don’t know computers?  Well, uh… they, like, let you… compute stuff!”  
  
She raised an eyebrow.  
  
“…cat videos,” said the other guard.  
  
“Oh!”  Now that was something Toriel could understand.  “Well, why did you not say so before?”  She folded her hands neatly in her lap and took a prim breath.  “Now then.  Please tell me more about this ‘Undernet’.”

[++]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last section of this chapter, together with the whole of Chapter 3, were the seed that this entire novel grew from. :-)


	3. Chain of Communication

**Scene 3: Chain of Communication**  
or  
“Royalty Approaching”

* * *

  
Alphys was mixing amalgamate chow deep in her secret lab when she got a notification.  That wasn’t any surprise—she had enough online games and conversations going that she’d typically get a notification every nine and a half minutes, on average.  That was the background level she’d determined was best at keeping her stimulated, but not too stimulated.  
  
But this wasn’t a notice that she was on turn in a correspondence game of Gem Swapper, or a new Spooktune on MusicDump, or even a rare new post on her mostly empty _Mew Mew Kissy Cutie_ forum.  It was a private message from a usename she didn’t recognize, QueenToriel.  She stepped away from the counter to read the message:

> "Dear Royal Scientist Alphys:  
>    
>  I do not mean to alarm you, but there is a letter waiting for you under your door.  It is longer and narrower than most of the other letters, and it is affixed with the royal seal of the Kingdom of Monsters.  I say this so that you will be able to find it among all of your other mail.  
>    
>  Sincerely, Queen Toriel."

Alphys was confounded.  Was this another one of her patients’ angry relations?  If so, why was she being tricky about things instead of just saying so?  And why was she calling herself a queen?  The Kingdom of Monsters hadn’t had a queen since well before Alphys was born.  
  
What’s more, why had she sent an Undernet message just to say there was a letter waiting for her?  Why not just say whatever she had to say over the Undernet?  
  
This was going to bug Alphys.  She’d been bugged often enough that she knew when something was going keep bugging her, and this was one of those things.  So, with a nervous sigh, the scientist took the elevator back up to the public lab.  She slowly opened the door and peeked out, just in case someone was there.  Mettaton didn’t come by much these days, but there’d been a time when it wasn’t unknown for him to surprise her from out of nowhere with an unnerving “HELLO, DARLING!”  
  
But no one was there, so she crept over to the massive, quivering pile of mail stuffed tightly beneath the door.  Kneeling, she reached hesitantly for the first piece.  Just in case it happened to bear some name that brought painful emotions to mind, she closed her eyes before taking hold and pulling.  
  
A flurry of paper cascaded to the lab floor and slid halfway under her workbench.  
  
Alphys sighed.  She went about pulling in mail until none of it was under the door—it was all on her floor instead.  Then the long, narrow envelope with a circular design in red caught her eye.  The legendary delta rune was part of it, but it had... ears?  Long floppy ears?  She tut-tutted and carefully opened it to read the letter inside.

> "From the Desk of Queen Toriel  
>    
>  Dear Royal Scientist Alphys:  
>    
>  I hope that you received the message that I sent you using the Undernet.  I am not familiar with the Undernet, so it is possible that I had trouble sending it.  If so, please disregard this portion of the letter you are reading.  
>    
>  I am writing to let you know that I will be giving you a telephone call soon.  Please do not be surprised or alarmed when it occurs.  I only wish to talk to you.  
>    
>  Best regards,  
>    
>  Queen Toriel of the Kingdom of Monsters"

Alphys had barely finished reading the letter when her cell phone rang.  She lowered the piece of paper in shock.  
  
The theme from _Ningyo no jōnetsu_ continued to repeat.  Alphys burst into action, skirting furniture and bumping into things in an attempt to get to her phone, which she'd left by the surveillance monitor.  She grabbed the phone and answered it, trembling.  "He--hello?"  
  
The voice was feminine, well tempered and kindly.  "Hello!  Am I speaking to Dr. Alphys, the royal scientist?"  
  
Alphys briefly considered lying.  "Y-yes?"  
  
"Dr. Alphys!  I am Queen Toriel.  I'm delighted to hear your voice at last!  Did you receive my message and my letter?"  
  
"Um... yes, I..."  
  
"Then you were not unduly surprised at my phone call?"  
  
"Um, no, I guess I... knew it was coming?"  
  
"That is excellent!  I am very pleased.  Dr. Alphys, as you are my official royal scientist, I think it would be most appropriate for me to meet you."  
  
"Uhh... your 'official...?'  So you really are the..."  
  
"One might even call it 'meet' for us to meet!" continued the voice with unbridled delight.  "That is an old-fashioned word meaning 'appropriate', you know."  
  
"Whoa, hold on… so you really are the queen?  Of the Underground?  That isn't just your... screenname?"  
  
“I am,” said the voice on the other end, no longer so jovial.  "The king is gone, and I have come to rule in his place."  
  
Oh no.  Alphys shuddered and swallowed.  Did that mean that the human had really…?  "King Asgore is… gone?"  
  
"I am afraid so," said the queen.  
  
Alphys hid her face in her hands.  She stayed that way until she heard the muffled voice coming from the phone in her hand.  "Hello?  Are you still there, Dr. Alphys?"  
  
She scrambled.  "Yes!  Yes, I'm still here.  But—is King Asgore really—I should never have—what have I—”  _God, Alphys,_ she thought to herself, _you’ve really done it this time._  
  
The voice was quiet a while.  "You seem very upset, doctor!  Can you tell me why?"  
  
No, she couldn’t.  She couldn’t say what she’d done, and who was this queen, anyway?  "I'm sorry, but... I wasn’t aware the Underground even had a queen.  Was it 'Toriel'?  Um, can you explain… where you came from?"  
  
"I was away, in the Ruins.  Now I am back.  I came back because someone had to rule the kingdom."  
  
The ruins?  "Y-you mean the old catacombs from when monsterkind had just been forced underground, before we... made our new home?"  
  
"Precisely.  It pains me to say it, doctor, but King Asgore was once my husband.  He was the king and I was the queen."  
  
“Oh!”  Well, that explained it.  Asgore had spoken now and then about his wife, who’d left long ago.  He’d never mentioned her name, though, and Alphys had no idea she was still alive.  "But wh... why did you leave?"  
  
A long pause.  "I left because there was nothing more keeping us together.  And that is all I would prefer to say about it."  
  
"Um... ok?"  
  
"Dr. Alphys, I was calling only to say that I would like to meet you in person.  I understand that you have been working on some important projects, and I would like to see them for myself."  
  
Crud!  Oh crud oh crud oh crud...  "Um... well..."  The voice on the phone was silent, patiently waiting.  What could Alphys say?  "I kind of... work better when I'm alone?  Without showing anything to... anyone?"  
  
Another pause.  "I see," said the queen.  "Well, perhaps you would prefer to visit me in the castle?  I would be glad to make dinner for us tomorrow."  
  
"That... does sound better."  
  
"I did not want to distress you by showing up unannounced."  
  
"No... I appreciate that.  Thank you, y... your majesty."  
  
"And I look forward to hearing all about your current work."  
  
CRUD!  "Uh... I'll be glad to share it with you!  Your, uh.  Majesty."  
  
"Excellent.  In that case, I will see you tomorrow night.  I have just one question."  
  
Alphys's blood was starting to run cold.  PLEASE don't ask about Asgore's death!  "Uh, wh... what's that, your majesty?"  
  
"Do you prefer cardamom?  Or marjoram?"  
  
Did she prefer what, now?  Alphys wasn’t honestly sure she’d ever had either.  "Uh... ch-chili bean paste?"  That was something she liked stirring into her ramen.  
  
The queen was silent for another long moment.  “I see.”  Somehow, Alphys felt like she'd been judged just as thoroughly as if she'd admitted to sending an unpredictable murderer to meet King Asgore.  "Well, I will see what I can do, then."  
  
Alphys gulped.  "Thank you, your majesty.  Until tomorrow?"  
  
"Yes, Doctor.  Until tomorrow!"  
  
Tomorrow, sure.  That was enough time to find a cure for the amalgamates, figure out what happened to the missing flower, and come to terms with being an accessory to regicide, right?

[***]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, together with the end of the previous chapter, were the seed the entire novel grew from. I found myself thinking of the scenarios in which Toriel returns to the throne and wondering what it would be like for her in that difficult position--in particular, how would it go when she met Alphys for the first time? I wrote it out for fun, and then imagined what would come next, and wow--it took me over a year to be finished with it. :-)


	4. The Fire Spreads

**Scene 4: The Fire Spreads**  
or  
“Heartache”  
  


* * *

  
Rumors were starting to spread.  Information tended to filter through the Underground in such a way that in certain places, it would take on a distinctive flavor.  In Grillby's, for example—the premiere social establishment of Snowdin Town—rumors tended to distill themselves down to the very funny and the very serious.  Puns and japes were tossed around like water balloons in Grillby's... but if someone told you something deadly serious, you’d know down to your core that it was true.  
  
"I'm telling you!" barked Doggo.  "The king's dead!  He's dust!  He's dust!"  
  
"What are you talking about?" demanded Dogamy.  
  
Doggo threw his head roofward.  "He's blowing in the wind!  We're all blowing in the wind!"  
  
Dogaressa shuddered.  "You mean we don't have a leader?"  
  
"No leader!  No master!"  
  
The Greater Dog planted his mighty gauntlets on the table and thrust his upper body into a passionate howl: "Hoowooooo!"  At the bar, Grillby stopped washing tumblers, but did nothing to stop the mayhem.  
  
"Yipe!  Yipe!  Yipe!" put in the Lesser Dog from the next table over.  
  
By now the rest of the patrons were starting to murmur, but only one—the most regular of regulars, the faithfulest of the faithful—wandered over to the dogs' table.  A blue hood lapped over the top of his hairless scalp, but something about the way he stood indicated that he was paying attention far more intensely than his laconic voice would ever indicate.  
  
"so how'd it happen?"  
  
Doggo's beady eyes rolled about.  "They say he was pet to death!  Someone pet him, and pet him, and pet him until they'd pet away all his fur, and they were petting bare skin!  They petted him down to the bone!!"  
  
The Lesser Dog started to howl now.  Over the tumult, the skeletal sentry asked, "i don't suppose it had anything to do with a human kid, did it?"  
  
Doggo nodded a series of big nods.  "Probably!  They said a human was headed for him with a score to settle!"  
  
The female canine tilted her head.  "But if a human were in the Underground, wouldn't they have had to get past us?"  
  
"That's right," said her husband.  "And the only intruder we encountered recently was that puppy we told you about.  The little genius who pioneered the idea of petting other dogs!"  
  
"Well, I don't know what to tell you, except SOMEONE kept ringing my bell!" said Doggo.  
  
Sans, the skeleton, gave no response beyond a simple “kay.”  He walked back to his seat, and no one spoke to him.  The rest of the patrons counted Sans among their friends, but they all knew what had happened to his brother, and they knew there was no cheering him up anymore.  
  
The proprietor, though, Grillby, was an individual not afraid to play with fire.  As he wiped the bar, he leaned toward Sans, implicitly inviting him over.  The silent skeleton watched for a while, then shrugged and walked to the bar.  
  
There was a duck-shaped monster who liked pretending to translate for Grillby, but he knew better than to mess with Sans.  So Grillby spoke in fumes, crackles and wisps, steadily oxidizing the air around him, and Sans, hunched on a bar stool, listened.  Over the years, he'd learned to understand.  
  
“..\\_{,-|-.,,”  
  
"yeah,” he answered.  “probably the same one.  they were headed for the castle."  
  
“,,-\\-.-|+;.”  
  
"i never thought.  i mean, they got along.  they tried his spaghetti.  they solved his puzzles.  i never imagined that when it came time..."  
  
“~:’,,”  
  
"no, you’re right.  i did imagine.  it did cross my skull.  but i just thought, 'nah.  this kid wouldn't hurt a flea.'  i didn't see them hurt a single monster in snowdin, grillby.  not a single one.  not even the annoying one.  'this one is safe,' i thought."  
  
“-*=;{-,-.”  
  
"how can anything do that, grillbs?  how can a creature just... flip like that?  one moment you're a sweet kid... now you're a killer?  where was the killer hiding, grillby?  where does a kid have room to hide something like that?"  
  
“\\.\\**`-({.,.}]/.:”  
  
"yeah, but.  the other part is, how did it happen?  did my brother piss 'em off?  he was attacking, sure, but he'd never have gone too far.  heck, he captured them once.  put 'em in his shed.  the human walked right out, grillby.  right between the bars.  the kid knew pap wasn't gonna hurt 'em.  but somehow... somehow, something big inside 'em flipped, and i just want to know... how?  how does a thing like that happen?  was it random?  did the kid just... spin a spinner in their head, and it wound up on 'murder'?  how?"  
  
“;***,;’{}``,,”  
  
"i dunno, grillbs.  i didn't have the heart to watch after that."  
  
“-{,,_ <`::.:-”  
  
"dunno.  i guess someone'll take over.  i just know it's not gonna be me."  
  
“,,~[[]]-<o.-=*;”  
  
"heh, mettaton?  yeah, that'd be funny.  guess we'll just see."  
  
“(__-\\-,,—++}”  
  
"…maybe."  
  
“\\+\\-.)*-=*”  
  
"yeah, i guess whoever ends up running things could probably use a little help.  and i've been around.  you think i should...?"  
  
“>>—\\-__`++|=>.,”  
  
"yeah, but i'm not sure i'd be any use.  you know why i'm asking about that thing that flips in a person, right?"  
  
“;-\\-..,._,,-|-/=/”  
  
"you got it.  i'm afraid if i go and offer my help, it'll stir things up… and that thing might just flip in me."  
  
“-{+}-::~-~”  
  
“right.  see ya later, grillbz.”  
  
The fiery barkeep, having said his piece, retreated to the back.  Still, no one else dared approach.  Sans was left hapless on his barstool, his head limp in his hands.  
  
He barely stirred moments later when a basket of onion rings, drenched in ketchup, was placed before him.  But after a good, long pause, he did take a ring and crunch it listelessly.  “thanks, grillbs.  you're always there for me."  
  
The dogs were silent now.  Quietly, the other patrons were starting to talk amongst themselves.  
  
Sans left the basket, slipped from the stool, and walked out.

[====]


	5. Chili Bean Paste

**Scene 5: Chili Bean Paste**  
or  
“Uwa!! So TENSION! o/~”  


* * *

  
RRrrrrrrr, went the elevator.  Alphys had once thought she really liked elevators.  Now, she was coming to realize that she was a lot more comfortable on elevators when they were going down, not up.  Going down was humbling, but going up was like being… well, elevated!  It made her feel like she was being presented to the world, and she didn’t want to be presented.  She was much happier working behind the scenes.  
  
The elevator stopped, leaving her queasy.  Though to be fair, she couldn’t blame the elevator—she probably would have been queasy anyway.  Alphys wasn’t prepared for this meeting!  Oh, she’d prepared a little, and had a few cover stories for how she’d been spending her time, but she didn’t feel _comfortably_ prepared.  That would have taken a week, and she’d only had a day!  
  
And what a nerve-wracking day it had been!  Deciding what to wear had taken up a good two hours in itself.  She’d eventually settled on a blue suit Mettaton had given her for making appearances on his show, but even with the collar turned down it still felt too flashy.  Alphys just didn’t have anything right for something like this.  
  
She was met by guards soon after she got off the elevator.  They escorted her to the royal kitchen, undulating as they walked.  Watching them, she couldn’t help but wonder whether a surplus of determination was the reason they moved that way.  She’d started noticing it in certain monsters—behavior that suggested trace amounts of determination, a quality normally found only in humans.  Of course, Undyne had more than anyone.  Undyne had been born with an unbelievable amount of determination—almost as if it had been destined to come together, generation after generation, in her.  It was part of why Alphys couldn’t go for long without thinking about her.  Right now, for instance.  She should really be putting the finishing touches on her plan for how to deal with Queen Toriel, but instead, she was already here, in the kitchen, being announced, and the queen was right there, and _oh my gosh_ she looked a lot like Asgore, was this a joke?  No, Alphys remembered, it just meant she, too was a boss monster.  Well, they’d been married, after all—what did she expect?  
  
Alphys realized that she was laughably unprepared for this moment.  Somehow, she didn’t feel like laughing.  
  
“Doctor Alphys, I presume!  Come in!”  The white-furred figure sat on a simple wooden kitchen chair with respectable arms.  From across the room, she could hear the exhaust of Vulkins as they heated water tanks and ovens, the wet squelch of Unslugs cleaning the floors, the regular clopping of Pyropses gliding from table to table with ingredients for bristling Kitnas to chop.  There were already two places set.  
  
Alphys dithered forward and pushed herself up into the chair opposite Toriel.  It was far too big, and she could barely see over the table, but in a way she didn’t really mind.  If she couldn’t see the queen, then they couldn’t really establish a connection, and if they didn’t establish a connection, the queen wouldn’t be able to see through her lies… right?  
  
“Oh dear!  I beg your pardon, doctor.  I had not realized the chair would not fit you!”  She clapped her hands—huge hands, like oven mitts—and a well dressed Pyrops glide-walked over, smiling obsequiously.  The queen addressed it: “Would you please bring a thick cushion for Dr. Alphys?  Her chair is too large.”  The Pyrops nodded and moved off.  
  
“Oh, uh—it’s okay, really.  I’m comfy down here.”  
  
“Nonsense.  I should like to see you while we dine!  Is that not the point of meeting in person?”  
  
“Oh!  Well, I—I guess it is.  Aheh.”  
  
“And it is a pleasure to meet you,” said the queen.  She extended her thick, furred hand, and Alphys wasn’t sure whether to kiss or shake it.  She hesitated for a moment, then raised her own hand awkwardly up until they touched, back to back, at which point she drew it down again.  _Worst handshake ever_ , she berated herself.  
  
But the queen didn’t seem upset.  “Doctor, I hope I did not worry you with my text message and my letter and my phone call.  I am so glad that you were able to accept my invitation to dinner!”  She smiled coyly.  “Even if, as it turns out, you have a moving box that takes you straight from your home to mine!”  
  
“Well, uh…”  Was that wit?  Was the queen being witty?  Alphys managed to bark out a laugh, though it sounded almost like a cough.  “Yes, I… I ought to get by more often!”  _No!  Stupid, STUPID!_  
  
“I would be delighted to have you,” said the queen.  “As you know, I am just getting accustomed to ruling once again, and it has been a very long time since I was last on the throne.  I fear that I may not be starting as well as I would hope, and I could use all the help I can get!”  
  
_Please don’t ask me to rule alongside you,_ thought Alphys.  “Aheheh… yes, I can imagine!  It must be… very difficult for you.  All these new inventions you never saw before…”  
  
Queen Toriel frowned.  “There do seem to be a lot of them.  But that is not truly important, Dr. Alphys.  What matters is that the people I used to know are gone, and others are in their place.”  She sat mournfully, staring into the distance, before perking up.  “Such as you!”  
  
“Me?  Oh… well, I’m just the royal scientist.  I’m really not anyone sp-special.  But I s-served Asgore, and I’ll be gl-glad to serve you too!”  
  
The large boss monster’s eyes focused on Alphys, making her want to crawl under the table.  “You are stuttering!  Oh, doctor.  Am I frightening you?  I am so sorry!”  
  
Alphys reflexively ducked her head—just as the Pyrops returned with a thick, square cushion for her so that she couldn’t hide anymore.  “Oh, uh… thanks!”  With exquisite awkwardness, Alphys managed to shove the cushion under herself and boost herself up.  It took her a few more moments to get her suit straight.  She was trembling by the time she was done.  
  
She found that the queen’s huge hands were extended across the table to her.  Alphys stared, then reached hesitantly out and took one.  “Uhh…”  
  
“I did not mean to make you uncomfortable.  Is there anything I can do to put you at ease?”  
  
_Yes, thought Alphys.  You can say we’re done here and let me leave!_   “Uh… I can’t think of anything!  S-sorry, I’m just… this is how I am when I get nervous.  And, uh… well, there’s plenty to be nervous about, right?  A human k-killed the king… a new ruler arrives…”  
  
The white hand folded over Alphys’s, and she had to admit it did feel comforting.  Like dropping a pillow into a room full of vipers, sure, but still worth something!  “Oh yes, I quite understand.  Believe me, Dr. Alphys, I feel much the same way.  My duty impels me to serve as queen, but I find I do not know what to do!  I have almost no one to advise me, and trust does not come quickly.  The captain of my guard does not even believe that I truly am the queen, so long have I been away.  But I must persevere, and bit by bit, I shall gain friends and endeavor to make the Underground a more hopeful place.”  
  
Alphys found she sympathized, but one detail caught her attention.  “The… the captain of your guard?  Y-you mean Undyne?”  
  
Toriel nodded as she released her grip.  “Yes, Undyne.  Do you know her?”  
  
Swallow.  “Yeah!  Yes, I know her.  She… she helps me with my work sometimes.  Um… you said she doesn’t think you’re f-for real?”  
  
The boss monster glowered.  “She is suspicious.  I have told her that my friends will vouch for me, but she is trusting her instincts, and in this case her instincts are wrong.”  
  
Somehow, Alphys doubted that.  Undyne usually had pretty good instincts!  But she couldn’t say that to the queen, could she?  If this even really was the queen!  “Um… m-maybe I can… t-talk to her?”  
  
“That would be splendid!” said Toriel.  “In that case, I am very glad that we get to have this dinner together.”  She looked up.  “And speaking of which, I believe our meal has arrived!”  
  
Alphys turned around and saw a Pyrops pushing a cart toward them while a trio of Whimsuns circled about.  The dish was covered with a steel lid, set on a tray with greens for garnish.  The Pyrops stopped the cart, and with eye-defying ceremony, the Whimsuns hoisted the dish from the cart to the table.  Beating its wings hard, one of them lifted the lid off the dish—revealing… another dish.  Alphys blinked.  No!  It was a pastry!  It was the same shape as the domed metal lid, but yellow-brown and tasty-looking.  It smelled good, too!  She thought she saw hints of cheese peeking out from the crusty shell.  
  
“Ooh!  It seems to have turned out well!” exclaimed the queen.  She thanked the servers and excused them; they went off with the cart.  “I made this myself, you know.  I enjoy baking a great deal, and it is a privilege to have access to such a well stocked kitchen!”  
  
Alphys was just able to reach the platter now that her seat was higher.  Toriel gently slid the dish closer—now she could reach it comfortably.  “Wh… what is it?”  
  
“This, Dr. Alphys, is called a gordita.  It means, ‘slightly fat.’”  The boss monster leaned in conspiratorially.  “Although as large as I chose to make it, it might better be called a ‘gordota!’”  She laughed, her hand covering her mouth.  
  
“I-it is really huge!”  The thing was half the size of Alphys herself!  She certainly hoped she wasn’t expected to eat half of it.  
  
“You see, this came from your request, Doctor!  It turns out that, well-stocked though the royal kitchen is, it did not possess chili bean paste.  So, I decided to do the next best thing and make it myself!  ‘How hard can it be to make paste out of chili beans?’ I asked myself.”  
  
Alphys snickered behind her hands.  “But… but your majesty!  Y-you haven’t had time to ferment it!”  
  
Toriel raised one eyebrow.  “Ferment it?”  
  
“Um, yes, bean paste has to be fermented to give it its… rich umami flavor!  
  
One large, floppy ear perked halfway up.  “Aha!  Is that so?  I knew that I must have been missing something.  Umami, you say?”  
  
Alphys was starting to feel more in her element.  Maybe she just needed a meal!  “Yes!  Umami is… a kind of taste that you find in certain foods.  It’s produced by enzymes that produce certain amino acids, and fermentation h-helps the process along!  Think of a really ripe tomato o-or something made with balsamic vinegar.  Or, uh, sea vegetables!  It’s a subtle taste, but it can be really satisfying.”  
  
“That is fascinating!” said Toriel.  She cut into the gordita with a large knife and started moving it onto her own plate with an equally large fork.  “I was never aware of that.  How useful it will be to have a royal scientist!”  
  
“Er, heh,” said Alphys, turning away and rubbing her own ear.  “It’s no problem!  I like talking about scientific things.”  
  
“If only I had known about fermented bean paste when I was living in the catacombs,” Toriel mused.  “I could have baked delicious savory bean pies for my children!”  She leaned forward.  “And do you know what they would have called me?”  
  
Was this a test?  “Um… the best mom ever?”  
  
“Almost!” chirped the queen, lifting her fork to her mouth.  “They would have called me… u-MOMMY!”  She laughed as she ate.  
  
Alphys found herself simultaneously reassured and unnerved by this alleged queen’s behavior.  Something about that pun, the way she delivered it, tickled her memory.  But she couldn’t put a finger on it, and anyway, it was time to eat, wasn’t it?  So Alphys took a bite of the gordita herself.  It wasn’t at all bad!  In fact, it was really good, even if it wasn’t what she was used to.  Aside from cheese, the pastry was stuffed with cabbage, carrots, caramelized mushrooms, and yes, mashed up chili beans.  Even the greens on the side were good.  
  
“Mmm!  So… you have children, your majesty?”  
  
Just like that, the queen’s mood clouded.  “Perhaps I should not have brought it up.  I very much miss having children to care for.”  
  
“Oh.  Uh… did they all just grow up, then, and move out on their own?”  
  
Toriel’s huge ears fell flat against her head.  “I am sorry, Dr. Alphys.  I would rather not talk about it.  Shall we change the subject?”  
  
Well, if the queen asks you to change the subject, you change it.  Aside from this small misstep, Alphys was actually feeling kind of proud of how she was doing.  She hadn’t made a terrible fool of herself yet, and she hadn’t let her secrets slip.  “Of course.  Um… do you…”  _No, stupid, she doesn’t like anime.  She probably doesn’t even know what it is!_   “Um, do you have any plans for the Underground?  Things you’d like to do with your reign?”  
  
Now the boss monster grew serious.  She ate for a while before addressing Alphys.  “I have quite a few ideas, in fact.  And as it happens, some of them concern you.”  
  
Alphys tried not to choke on her bite.  “Oh?”  
  
“Well, you see, yesterday I discovered that Asgore kept a diary.  After some searching of my soul, I decided that it was right for me to read it.  As it happens, several of the recent entries concerned you and your work.  They were even color-coded in yellow!  I suppose I should have asked this sooner… were you close to Asgore, Dr. Alphys?”  
  
Was she?  She’d been pushing people away for so long that it was hard to tell anymore.  “I… well, not close exactly, no, but… I was fond of him, and I th-think he was fond of me?  Uh, oh, and he gave me a teacup!  He thought it looked like me, and I s-suppose it does.”  
  
Toriel produced a thin smile.  “That does sound like something he would do.”  
  
“Even when he was upset with me, he still… c-cared about me as a person.  I think that says a lot.”  
  
The boss monster who claimed to be Asgore’s widow sighed, her ears drooping.  She stared off at nothing for a while.  Alphys even turned around to check—yep, nothing!  
  
Eventually she responded.  “Well, I understand, then, if losing him has been a shock.  I actually feel the same way.”  
  
Alphys could totally understand that.  Sure, this woman hadn’t seen Asgore in a long time, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t upset her to hear he’d died.  She nodded, her mouth full.  
  
Toriel’s tone became slightly more upbeat.  “According to his notes, you were working on some very interesting projects!  I was delighted to find, for example, that you and I have a connection.  You were able to give a ghost corporeal form, were you not?  I understand that he now runs a television network?”  
  
Alphys blushed.  “Uh, yeah!  That’s Mettaton.  It wasn’t easy, but I gave him the body he always wanted, and now he’s a—your majesty, how did you know he was a ghost?  Most people just think he’s a robot I built, and he doesn’t correct them.”  To Alphys’s embarrassment, that list had included even Asgore.  
  
She winked.  “Well, there lies the connection!  As it happens, the ghost who visited me in the Ruins and provided me with snails just happens to be his cousin.”  
  
Alphys sat gaping.  She remembered Mettaton talking about his family, way back before he was Mettaton, or even a ‘he’… but he never talked about them anymore.  
  
“So you see,” the queen continued, “my friend told me a story or two about their wayward cousin and his television show.  It was not until I read Asgore’s diary that I put things together, and realized that the creator of that robot body was none other than you!”  
  
The scientist took a bit of her food.  “Yeah!  Um, please don’t tell anyone that he’s not really a robot, okay?  I mean, he is a robot, but that there’s a ghost inside the robot?  Not for my sake, but for his… I don’t think he wants people to know.”  
  
Toriel nodded sagely.  “Very well.  It shall be our secret.  But that is not chief among the projects Asgore mentioned in his notes.”  She leaned in.  Her eyes bored into Alphys like tiny caterpillars trying to break through an eggshell.  
  
“…It’s not?”  
  
“The most interesting project seemed to concern the nature of the monster soul!  As I understand it, you were working on the problem of how to break the barrier that confines us to the Underground, but your research happily wound up producing a possible cure for ‘falling down’?  Is that correct?”  
  
_Well, here we go,_ thought Alphys.  _Asgore just had to keep a diary, didn’t he?_   “Well—!  It’s actually somewhat complicated.  As science often is!”  The queen’s mouth pursed understandingly, but her soft-eyed stare didn’t relent.  “…So, uh…. Well. I think I may have cured ‘falling down,’ but there may be, uh… certain side effects?  And as such, I’m keeping the patients for a while longer just in case it, uh, turns out to be dangerous.”  
  
“I see!  Well, Dr. Alphys, I am thankful for your caution and your diligence.  If it is true that those who ‘fall down’ will soon be able to ‘get up’ again… why, that is an accomplishment of the highest order!”  
  
Alphys shifted her feet, which didn’t even come close to reaching the floor.  “Oh, it’s nothing.  Er, I mean, it is something, but… I just wish I could have succeeded in my original task, which was to find a way to bring down the barrier.”  
  
“Even so,” said Toriel.  “If your cure turns out to be successful, we will have to throw a parade in your honor!  Or perhaps a feast.  Is there any kind of celebration you are partial to?”  
  
A parade?  A feast??  The last thing Alphys wanted was that level of public attention.  Or _any_ public attention.  “Uh… just a… quiet sleepover?” she suggested.  _No!  Dumbest thing you’ve said yet.  How is the whole population of the Underground supposed to sleep in your lab?  You were just thinking of Undyne, weren’t you?_  
  
“… A sleepover?”  Toriel’s face was puzzled, but then kindness shone through.  “Very well!  If your cure is successful, we will have the biggest, quietest sleepover the Underground has ever known!”  
  
Alphys blushed so hard she could feel her capillaries working overdrive.  “That’s okay, your majesty!  I really don’t need any honoring.  I mean, I’m already the R-Royal Scientist, right?  That’s all the honor I could ever hope for.  I just… want to keep working on science and making discoveries for their own sake!”  
  
The queen finished the bite she was eating and set down her fork and knife.  “I can see that I am speaking to someone with exceptional integrity,” she said, and her warmth got through Alphys’s defenses.  She sat up straight and looked into Toriel’s eyes.  
  
“Uh… thanks?”  
  
“May I trust you with a secret, Dr. Alphys?”  
  
“Uh—please!  You can just… call me Alphys.  And yes, sure!  I can keep a secret.”  Had she done anything else for months?  Sometimes, it seemed like keeping secrets was the _only_ thing Alphys knew how to do.  
  
Toriel set her forearms weightily on the table.  “You are aware of the six souls that King Asgore… collected from the six human children who fell into the mountain and came through the underground?  Asgore’s notes seemed to indicate that you had worked with them.”  
  
Uncomfortable territory again.  “Yes, I… I extracted a quality from them I call ‘determination.’”  
  
“Indeed.  Well, I hope that what you extracted was sufficient for your purposes, because I have bad news.”  She took a breath.  “The human souls are gone.”  
  
Alphys was shocked.  Well, at least she was getting used to that feeling.  “Gone?  Just… all of them, gone?  What happened to them?”  
  
Toriel spoke evenly.  “The prevailing theory is that the last human child, the same one who killed the king, stole them before leaving.  Yet I do not see how that could have happened.  The containers for the souls were left behind, and I do not think a human being can absorb other human souls.”  
  
“Uh… n-no, that’s well established.  You’re right.”  
  
“Which begs the question of how the child would have carried them without the containers!  Do you have any insight into this, Alphys?”  
  
Did she?  She’d _met_ the human, but she didn’t want to admit that.  Not that she really had any idea whether they’d have had any reason to steal the souls.  “Maybe… the last child was… no, I’m sorry, your majesty—I can’t think of any way the human could have carried them, either.”  
  
Toriel sat up.  “Well, that is good, in its way.  That means that we can be reasonably confident that the child did not take them.  Perhaps they only opened the containers and let the souls free?  In which case, is it possible that they could still be lingering somewhere near the castle?”  
  
Alphys hadn’t seen what happened after the human took the final elevator.  She didn’t have cameras inside the castle, and she wouldn’t have been able to watch, even if she had.  “I don’t know!  Maybe?  I guess I could… try to create an invention to detect free-floating human souls?”  
  
“That would be excellent,” said Toriel.  “Of course, expedience is essential, as the longer we wait, the more likely they will be to disappear.  Am I correct?”  
  
“Um, yes.”  Alphys didn’t know how to feel about this.  It would be an interesting distraction from her troubles, but her troubles would all be there when she got done… and was it even possible to build a soul-finding machine, anyway?  
  
“In that case, you may consider it your top priority,” Toriel declared.  “Except, of course, for caring for your patients.”  She tilted her head.  “Would you like an assistant?  It seems that you may soon have a lot on your plate.”  
  
Alphys had a lot on the plate right in front of her.  She could never finish the portion of gordita she’d taken.  “Ah, no, thank you!  I, uh, work better alone.  Like I said on the phone!”  
  
“Ah, yes, of course.”  Toriel sat in thought for a moment.  “In that case, there is only one more thing I wish to discuss.”  
  
Only one more thing?  Oh thank goodness, the dinner was ending!  Alphys had actually made it through.  She hadn’t even had to break out her prepared list of cover projects to make herself seem busy.  “Ah, what’s that, your majesty?”  
  
Toriel wiped her mouth with a napkin.  “Is there a reason you have not been in contact with the families of your patients?”  
  
Oh no.  “Ah, in contact?”  
  
“The news that I have returned is starting to spread through the Underground, and I am starting to get mail.  This morning, I received quite a few letters, several of them from monsters whose relatives or loved ones are currently in your care.  If there was one theme uniting these letters, it is that you have not been replying to their letters, nor answering your phone when they call.”  
  
“Uh… well, I’ve actually been pretty busy…”  
  
“I even received a letter from an acquaintance of mine, a tender soul called Shyren, who tells me that her sister is among your patients.  She wrote that it has been weeks since you promised her that her sister would be coming home, and she has had no word since then.”  
  
This was getting dangerous.  “She’s uh.  She’s doing fine!  She’s just suffering a few, uh… side effects, like I said.”  
  
The boss monster’s brown-red eyes were boring in again.  Her face seemed to get a shade darker.  “Is it possible that you could share exactly what these side effects are?”  
  
Alphys stiffened up.  “Uh… well… this and that.  It’s sort of complicated!  For instance, some of them have… altered… bullet patterns?”  
  
“That is rather interesting!” said Toriel.  “And yet, I should not think it would be a reason to keep them from returning to their families, would it?  After all, what need will they have for bullet patterns if they are returning to safe homes?  And if you later develop a cure, could they not simply return for it?”  
  
“W-well… yes, but… there’s also… um, some of them are having problems speaking?”  
  
“That is cause for concern, yes.  But could their family members not at least visit them?  And perhaps some of your patients would be happier at home even if they cannot express themselves fully.  Should not the choice be theirs?”  
  
_And some of them are, kind of, mixed up inextricably with each other?  And by some, I mean all of them._ “I, um… well, that’s one way to look at it, but I think it’s healthiest for them if they stay isolated for now.  Isolated with each other, I mean.  They’re all keeping each other company… it’s not like they’re alone!”  
  
“But Alphys.”  Toriel seemed genuinely sad now.  “Their loved ones miss them.  And they are worried.  You have stopped writing, you have stopped calling… for all they know, their loved ones are dead after all, and you are not even sending them their dust so that they may carry out a funeral.  One letter was from a monster who suspected that you had kept the dust for experiments, and that you never plan to admit the truth.  Surely you can give these worried monsters some sign that their loved ones truly are still alive!”  
  
Somehow, Toriel’s final conversational salvo had burst through layer after layer of defenses.  Alphys was running perilously low on excuses.  “I… I wish I could, but… it may be contagious!  We don’t fully understand the nature of falling down…. And it’s possible the cure I’ve developed would allow fallen monsters to infect others!  I think I’ve developed an immunity, but it may not be safe for anyone else to visit!”  
  
“Then could you not devise a protective suit, or a glass wall, or an inoculation of some sort?  I refuse to believe that there is no way these monsters can safely be reunited.”  
  
She was nearly at the end of her rope now.  Could she pretend to choke on her gordita?  “W-well, that’s a great idea!  I should develop an inoculation!  But, uh, it would take time, and, uh, you told me to make the soul detector my top priority, so…”  
  
“Just a telephone call, then, in the meantime,” said Toriel.  “Give each family member a chance to speak to their loved one.  Or even to see them through a television camera!  According to Asgore’s notes, you are in possession of quite a lot of those.”  
  
Boom.  That was it.  The salvo had reached ground zero.  There was no conceivable reason she shouldn’t be able to let her patients talk to their families on the phone, if they were actually okay.  So what was left?  The truth?!  But she couldn’t tell the truth!  She couldn’t!   In a panic, she looked around the kitchen, searching for some way out.  
  
“Alphys?  Are you all right?” said Toriel, her focus refusing to waver.  
  
Alphys clutched the table.  “I, uh… well, I… I guess I have to… confess something.”  _NO!  Anything but that!  Fight her, run away, anything!_  
  
The alleged queen leaned close, her ears receptive.  “Yes, doctor?”  
  
“The truth is… I, um…”  Wait!  That was it!  _Alleged_ queen!  This woman wasn’t proven yet as the queen of the Underworld, and Alphys could use that to maneuver!  “I, uh, I’m not entirely comfortable discussing this, given that, uh, we don’t know for sure that you’re the real queen yet.  I mean, uh…”  Toriel’s mouth had grown stern, and Alphys didn’t like it.  “I trust Undyne a lot.  I mean, she has an intuition that defies science, sometimes!  And if.. If she doesn’t think you’re the real queen, I can’t just… ignore that.  I hope you can understand?”  
  
In truth, Alphys’s own instincts were telling her that this was King Asgore’s wife, that every word she said was true.  But if it came down to Alphys’s instincts versus Undyne’s, she’d take Undyne’s any day.  Besides… this was the only way out she had left.  
  
“You… are not convinced that I am the true queen?” asked Toriel, puzzled.  “And yet, you did not mention this until now, and you allowed me to trust you with a royal secret.”  
  
“And I’ll keep it!  Don’t worry, your… your alleged majesty, I won’t tell anyone about the missing souls.  But it’s just that… the details of why I can’t let the patients go home are secret too, and… if you’re not the real queen, I just can’t risk telling you!  It’s just too dangerous.  For… security reasons.”  
  
The pause that followed was long and weighty.  So weighty that it seemed to crush all the buoyant camaraderie the dinner had built up.  At last, the boss monster sighed a long, disappointed sigh.  “I suppose we are unable to proceed for now, then.  I will simply have to wait until the royal guard has verified my identity, and then we will speak again on this matter.  Is that acceptable, Dr. Alphys?”  
  
“Yes!  Yes, that’s acceptable.  Thank you for being so understanding.  I expect… I expect you really are the queen, and I’ll be able to tell you everything, and we’ll laugh about this.  Ha ha!  But for now… I have to keep my secrets.  You know how it is!”  She pushed herself out of her chair, leaving the meal unfinished.  
  
The queen—alleged queen—looked mournful.  It was too long before she said, “Yes, I understand.  Sometimes one must truly be cautious, for sometimes one has a great deal to lose.”  
  
“Uheheh.  Yes, precisely!”  Alphys turned to leave.  “So, um… goodbye?”  
  
Those red-brown eyes continued to stare, even through sadness.  “Goodbye, Dr. Alphys.  I trust you know the way out.”  
  
“Oh, and, uh… thank you for the meal!  I’ve never had a gordita before.  It was delicious!”  
  
“You are quite welcome,” said the alleged queen.  “It is always a pleasure to bake for company.”  
  
Alphys left, then, self-conscious of the sound of her claws patter-pattering along the stone floor.  She hurried up the stairs and into the elevator, and didn’t relax until the doors were shut and she was on her way back home.  Then she slumped against the wall and moaned.  By the time the elevator reached her lab, she was sitting limp on the floor.  
  
She’d managed to buy herself a little time, at the cost of her dignity.  That was okay—Alphys hadn’t had any dignity left for quite a while.  The question was—now that she had this extra little sliver of time to work with… what could she _do?_

[*****]


	6. Walking Among the Humble

**Scene 6: Walking Among the Humble**  
or  
“Spidertale”  


* * *

  
“Lonely   ska lonskate  
) lemniscating   recou recoup res. St.  
.  .  .  ofaware un  
certain  to gether always reconc  
reinstate recou reccoop lost losse losses  
unaware of but relaxcationar y”  
  
“Okay.  Yeah.  I hope that means you’ve been resting well,” said Alphys, glancing over as she heaved out the giant sack of chow.  
  
“Recoup restr recuup recuople recou what s’ los’  
to get back recoverate coup coupre re”, said Swirl.  
  
“I’m sorry.”  Alphys poured out a bowl for Endogeny, then filled another half bowl and went about packing the rest with tofu for the Memoryheads.  They liked a mixture of dog chow and bean curd, a fact she’d stumbled onto through excruciating trial and error.  She then shoved the chow sack back onto the shelf with difficulty.  What else could she say when Swirl started talking this way?  She didn’t know why it kept saying ‘recoup’.  Did it want to recoup its suffering from her?  Was it threatening to sue her, or asking her for help?  ‘Sorry’ just seemed to be the best all-purpose answer a lot of the time.  
  
Each amalgamate had its own food preference, so Alphys diligently prepared fourteen different dishes, just as she did twice a day, every day.  Some of them had additional special needs—fresh watercolors for the Fingershoot, eyedrops for the Reaper Bird…  Swirl needed a warm bath every day, so Alphys got the water running while she prepared the rest of the dishes.  She was spending more than half her budget on patient care these days, but what else was she going to spend it on?  It wasn’t like she was doing any new science.  It wasn’t right that she should be personally responsible for the basic needs of fourteen creatures compounded from a hundred thirty-seven monsters, but since they were her responsibility, supporting them was the very least she could do.  She got most of her new materials from the dump these days, anyway.  
  
“urds and whey along cam  
rds and whey along came  
ds and whey along came a  
s and whey along came a s”  
  
That was Arachnamate, as Alphys had come to call the spider amalgamate.  It was sometimes one of the more cogent ones, but right now, it was just lumbering by on its seemingly infinite legs, humming a dissonant tune.  She’d heard this one before—it was reassuring to hear it again, really.  
  
“and whey along came a sp  
nd whey along came a spi  
d whey along came a spid  
whey along came a spide”  
  
Alphys finished making the rounds and returned to the tub.  As she waited for the water to rise and steam to build, she wondered, as she often did, when the pressure was going to rise too high and things were going to collapse.  It was sure to happen sooner or later.  This new queen could have been a reprieve, but now it looked like she was actually going to be more trouble than Asgore, which meant Alphys had less time left than…  
  
Heh.  It was funny, thinking of Asgore as a source of trouble.  Really, he’d been the opposite of trouble.  He’d been the most understanding, the most compassionate, the most trusting boss Alphys could possibly—  
  
No!  She shouldn’t cry.  Not good for patients if they see their doctor crying.  So Alphys went back to thinking of King Asgore as an obstacle that had been replaced by another obstacle.  “Swirl?” she called, leaning into the corridor.  “Your bath is ready.”  
  
The bone white compound of Swirms (from the river that flowed from Snowdin to cool the Core) and Breedles (from the spaces between the Core’s walls) moved up the corridor, half undulating and half scuttling to move itself.  Scuttulating?  Heh, yes, that would do.  It scuttulated into the bathroom, where Alphys tenderly picked it up and introduced it gently into the water, making sure the temperature wasn’t too extreme.  After giving it two baths a day for as many weeks as she had, Alphys had worked out how to get the balance just right.  
  
The amalgamated monster whipped itself around, spraying droplets on everything in satisfaction.  It chittered emotionally in its divided voice:  
  
“WAhRMoTHt sledpdy skin  
o ~ to setdle condendet  
sloughi off luff sloughing contam  
ghing off ghing aminants seed ~”  
  
“Y-yeah!” said Alphys.  “Let’s get you all clean.  Should I… use the brush?”  
  
“Scr BRUUSSH a  
Brushh % ape atchh”  
  
Alphys gently cleaned the monster, heeding its cues for when to move from one body segment to the next.  By now, she’d gotten mostly used to the weird-shaped bodies, and the strange blankness of them didn’t really bother her anymore.  But the mixed personalities… those still squicked Alphys.  And the general sense of desperation, of loss… well, that would bother anyone, wouldn’t it?  
  
Swirl curled contentedly, scratching itself with one mandible that grew unnaturally from its tail.  Alphys sponged on, but all the while she wondered: What would happen to them all?  If she was found out, who would care for them?  It was always hard to imagine their families taking them back, but even if that was possible, she ran up a familiar stumper: whose families would they even go back to?  
  
“Um… S-Swirl?”  
  
The aquatic insect worm raised its head curiously, water flowing down its ridges.  
  
“Um… so, I have a… a hypothetical question for you all.  For you.”  
  
The posture of the body shifted slightly, possibly suggesting the twist of a question mark.  
  
Alphys cleared her throat.  “So, uh… hypothetically speaking.  If you were… to go home to your family?  Because you’re all better, or at least, as, uh, close to better as I can make you?  Would you, uh, rather go back to the ice river, or to your other family in the Core?”  
  
The amalgamate pulsed disturbingly, as if its heart had been installed inside-out.  Words found their way simultaneously to the surface through multiple orifices:  
  
“water - = - metal  
  
emoh nruter oT + + - L o w   s a l i n i t y  
  
\\\||// I     definitely to     to  river so I   be   my     \\\||//  
//||\\\ would prefer     return the Core   so can with family //|\\\\\  
  
MeCONmoFUSryION *x*”  
  
Alphys stood there with her lower jaw slack.  “Uhh… o-okay?”  
  
Swirl stared at her.  Even after all this time, she still wasn’t sure which pair of spots were its eyes.  
  
“M… maybe we’ll call that a toss-up then?  It seems like… you have some, uh… things to work out.”  
  
The amalgamate relaxed slowly and sank fully into the water, releasing a few bubbles.  
  
Alphys sighed.  She loved these guys, she really did.  But they couldn’t really help solve their own problems.  They weren’t really good for conversation.  And these days, Alphys didn’t really have a lot of friends.  It turned out she was better than she thought at… pushing people away?  She really had a gift for it.  
  
Once the bath was done, she checked once more on all the amalgamates to make sure they were taken care of for a while.  
  
“ **#Become one of us#,** ” said the Memoryheads.  
  
“No, thanks,” said Alphys, a little less nervously than the last time.  They responded with a sustained dial tone until she left the room.  
  
“There’s no more room to fall,” said Lemon Bread, twelve times simultaneously.  
  
“Well, that’s… that’s a good thing, right?” laughed Alphys as she gathered up the empty plates.  
  
“tened Miss Muffet away.”  
“ened Miss Muffet away.  Madame”  
“ned Miss Muffet away. Madame Doctor?”  
  
Alphys turned to the wandering Arachnamate.  “Y-yes?”  
  
“rd Miss Muffet away.  Madame Doctor?  When  
d Miss Muffet away.  Madame Doctor?  When can  
Miss Muffet away.  Madame Doctor?  When can we  
iss Muffet away.  Madame Doctor?  When can we return  
ss Muffet away.  Madame Doctor?  When can we return to  
s Muffet away.  Madame Doctor?  When can we return to the  
Muffet away.  Madame Doctor?  When can we return to the Haven?  
*** ABSORBED ***  
way.  Madame Doctor?  When can we return to the Haven?  Muffet  
ay.  Madame Doctor?  When can we return to the Haven?  Muffet will  
y.  Madame Doctor?  When can we return to the Haven?  Muffet will be  
Madame Doctor?  When can we return to the Haven?  Muffet will be worried  
Doctor?  When can we return to the Haven?  Muffet will be worried for  
When can we return to the Haven?  Muffet will be worried for us.”  
  
The scientist quailed in stature as the onslaught of overlapping voices overwhelmed her.  “I don’t know, Arachnamate.  I wish I could see what I have to do.  I just… I just don’t know if you’re ready.  But don’t worry… Miss Muffet knows you’re still alive, and that you’ll be coming back soon.”  
  
The creature rose up and writhed its countless legs.  “can we return to the Haven?  Muffet will be worried for us.  What  
we return to the Haven?  Muffet will be worried for us.  What more  
return to the Haven?  Muffet will be worried for us.  What more do  
to the Haven?  Muffet will be worried for us.  What more do we  
the Haven?  Muffet will be worried for us.  What more do we need  
Haven?  Muffet will be worried for us.  What more do we need to—”  
  
Alphys held her palms out.  “Could you—try to talk with just one part of your mouth?  L-like we discussed?”  
  
The shape of the aperture lengthened and narrowed dramatically.  “Wwe are sroorry.  Ccan you undeersttannd?”  
  
“Yes, that’s much better.  And to answer your question…”  Alphys glanced around to make sure none of the others were listening.  “…I can’t answer your question.”  Her face fell.  “You’re the healthiest of any of the… the patients.  You’re even working out how to use your spinnerets without, um… getting into conflict with yourself.  If anyone deserves to go home, it’s you.”  
  
The spider’s all too numerous red eyes peered quizzically at her.  
  
“But the other spiders could be afraid!  And even if…”  She lowered her voice.  “And even if they aren’t afraid of you, someone will see you, and—then they’ll find out what happened to you and all the others… and everyone will be so upset—they’ll scream and maybe h-hurt some of you… and they’ll… they’ll blame me for lying… and for…”  Alphys forced herself to look up at the amalgamate.  “And for letting this happen,” she finished, putting her hand on their chalk white body.  
  
“You are wworrieed foror yoruor owwn reputtationn.  You arre more worried aboout yoursself thaan about uss.”  
  
Well, that’s what she got for trying to reach out to someone, anyone.  And she couldn’t be mad at anyone but herself, since she deserved it.  “You’re right.  I’m worthless.  I’m a coward.”  
  
“Prroove yourr worthth.  Shshuck youur cowwarrdiice,” said Arachnamate.  
  
Alphys avoided the sea of eyes.  “I could.  But I can’t.  I’m too cowardly not to be a coward anymore.”  
  
The amalgamate pulled back as if to get a better view of her.  Because she was such a strange creature, she knew.  She was the real freak here.  She was the moral anomaly.  
  
A pair of pedipalp claws settled on Alphys’s shoulders.  “You shshould be prooud of yourr hummillity.  Evven though yyou do grreat workk, you are nnot vaain.”  
  
“I should… be more proud that I’m not more proud?”  
  
The spider tittered and sat down, right in the hallway.  “Ththe firrst spiider, Araachne, was maade from maggic.  She was a diffferrennt kiind of monsster, a weeaver, and she wwove the mosst beauttiful clothth that ever was ffellt.”  The tarsal claws gently stroked Alphys’s shoulders.  “Buut she wass vaainn.  She spooke so well of hher weeaving that she broought wraath upon herrself.  A madgick-usser triccked her into loossing a conntest, and then took her foorrm from herr and maade her uggly and her threaads too fiine for cloth.  She and herr children learrned to weeave… not to cloothe and makke beautifful, but to ffeed themmselvves.  They learrned to be hummble and dweell in the disstaant corrners… and sso the spiider rrace was borrnn.”  
  
Was it really?  Had it really happened that way?  “I didn’t know that.”  
  
“We doo not brrag.  But wee hellp eachch otherr.  I amm trryying to heelp you, Maddame Docctorr.”  
  
Alphys swallowed.  Somehow, the spider’s strange story had helped.  “Thanks.  I wish I could be b-brave enough to… to let everyone see how terrible I am.  Maybe…”  She tried to laugh.  “Maybe someone would see me showing my terribleness to the world, and enchant me into s-something beautiful, just to… just out of spite.”  She smiled hopefully.  
  
The spider looked oddly at her and scuttled back.  
  
‘W-wait… if that isn’t what you’re saying, th-then…”  
  
“Please let us go home, Doctor.  We miss o  
ease let us go home, Doctor.  We miss our  
se let us go home, Doctor.  We miss our ki  
let us go home, Doctor.  We miss our kith  
t us go home, Doctor.  We miss our kith an  
s go home, Doctor.  We miss our kith and k  
o home, Doctor.  We miss our kith and kin.”  
  
Alphys slumped and sighed.  “I’ll do my best.”  
  
She only turned around once the spider was gone.  This was no good.  She needed out of this place.  The amalgamates would be okay for a while, but unless she found somewhere else to go—some shoulder to cry on that she hadn’t personally commingled with other shoulders—she was going to lose it.  Of course, chances were that she was going to lose it at some point anyway, but she had to try, didn’t she?  Alphys could take care of the amalgamates, but if she didn’t care take of herself, who would?  
  
Right now, more than anything, Alphys wanted to go to the dump.  No, not the dump… the waterfall.  The abyss.  She wanted to stare into the abyss, and wonder.  But that wasn’t a good idea right now.  That could be dangerous.  
  
Well, there was one place in Waterfall she could go that wouldn’t terrify her quite as much, and that might still give her solace.  
  
She took the elevator back to her public lab and trekked out into Waterfall.  It wasn’t long before she was starting to run.  Alphys hadn’t realized how desperately she needed a friend.  
  
But as she ran through the tall grass and glowing mushrooms, Alphys suddenly realized that Undyne might actually need a friend even more than she did.  And that thought _really_ unnerved her.

[******]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the word ABSORBED appears, imagine it in red!


	7. Spaghetti Therapy

**Scene 7: Spaghetti Therapy**  
or  
“Loud Water”  


* * *

 

She could hear Undyne’s voice from some distance off… which was encouraging, really.  If Undyne was yelling, then she was doing something, right?  And that meant there was something she was trying to accomplish… and that meant she was moving ahead with her life!  
  
The voice came more into focus as Alphys skittered across the stone bridges toward the plaza.  “Hup!  Hup!  Hup!   Put some jerk into those knees!  Okay, okay, HALT!  I’ve got an idea.  Let’s set up a plank under some weights… and see if you can BREAK it!”  
  
“Yes ma’am!” replied a young, enthusiastic voice.  
  
“Did I say you could stop?!  Keep hupping!!”  
  
As Alphys arrived in the yard, the little voice was piping away: “Hup, hup, hup, hup!”  It was a little lizard monster, about her own size and oranger than herself, clearly just a kid.  Alphys thought she might have seen him around before—in Snowdin, maybe?  He didn’t seem to have any arms under his striped, paint-stained shirt, but he was making up for it by energetically thrusting up his knees in turn, head rocking back with each “Hup!”  Meanwhile, Undyne was busy hammering together sawhorses with nails and a stone.  What was she making?  Her house’s dramatic face, in the shape of a fish’s head, was smeared with light blue paint in the form of the word  “WHY?”  Over and over, in every size, at every angle.  
  
She looked up and saw Alphys, and her expression of toothy rage changed to an expression of toothy, friendly rage.  “Alphys!  Come over here!”  
  
Alphys found herself suddenly unsure she wanted to come over there, even though there was where she’d been running to.  Instead, she stopped short and took in the scene.  The lizard kid looked at her, but didn’t stop ‘hup’-ing.  
  
“Come here!  I want to give you something.”  
  
Okay, well, that didn’t sound so bad.  Alphys picked up her feet again and ran to Undyne, slowing at the end to catch her breath.  “Wh-what did you want to give me?”  
  
But the answer was quickly apparent.  Strong, dense arms engulfed Alphys and lifted her up.  She squealed reflexively and paddled her feet, afraid something terrible was going to happen.  But no… this was just a hug, wasn’t it?  
  
“I wanted to give you a hug!” roared Undyne.  “For being still alive!”  
  
That was somewhat reassuring!  Alphys couldn’t hug back, since Undyne was pinning her arms to her body, but she did manage to loosen her muscles and stop struggling—it felt like Undyne appreciated that.  “Oh, Undyne!  Y-you don’t have to—”  
  
“I really appreciate how you’re still here and didn’t let the human murder you,” cooed Undyne.  “Thanks for that!”  
  
Alphys’s feet swung.  “Um… you’re welcome?”  
  
With one last squeeze, Undyne set her down hard.  “I mean it.  I was worried!  When the human got past me, I knew it was headed your way, and I thought that maybe…”  She blinked and faced Alphys with puzzlement.  “You did hear about the human, right?”  
  
Hear about?  This probably wasn’t the time to admit she’d actually engaged in an elaborate conspiracy to get the human to befriend her, until her co-conspirator had betrayed her and spoiled everything.  “Uhh… I might have heard a few things.”  
  
The look Undyne gave her was deeply concerned… even sad.  “Did you hear what it did?”  It always unnerved Alphys when Undyne spoke softly.  
  
“Um… yes.  It killed the king.  And, uh… now his wife has come back from wherever she was to be the queen!”  
  
“SHE’S NOT THE QUEEN!!” countered Undyne, smashing the apparatus she’d been working on… if it even had been work, rather than just nailing random things together.  The little lizard monster stopped jogging in mid-hup, one knee frozen in horror.  
  
“She… she’s not?”  
  
“WHAT HAS SHE DONE TO DESERVE BEING THE QUEEN?  Even if she _was_ Asgore’s wife, which I’m not convinced she was, she’s not the queen _anymore!_   She gave that up the moment she left the kingdom and all its problems in his lap!  As far as I’m concerned, she’s a _usurper!_ ”  
  
“Um…”  Well, Alphys had to admit it would be convenient if Toriel turned out not to be the rightful ruler.  Then she wouldn’t have the power to make her come clean about the amalgamates, would she?  “But.. someone has to rule, don’t they?  Why… why not her?”  
  
“WHY NOT _HER?!_ ” shouted Undyne.  She raised a sawhorse over her head and smashed it dramatically, causing both Alphys and the kid to leap back.  “WHY NOT _NOT_ HER?  Have you _met_ her?  Does she seem tough to you?  Huh?”  
  
“Uh… yes, I guess I did meet her, and… well, she did seem a _little_ tough…”  
  
“SHE’S A PUSHOVER!!  She’s a soft fluffy pushover.  Do you think she’ll be able to lead us to the destruction of humankind?!  Not even close!  She’ll probably try to _negotiate_ with the humans!  NEGOTIATE!”  
  
“The, uh… the destruction of…”   This agenda seemed more than a little drastic to Alphys.  “But Undyne!  What if there are good humans?  We can’t just destroy them all!”  
  
“There are no good humans.”  The warrior said this directly into Alphys’s face, her eye wild and teeth gritted tightly.  “If there were, would they have let a human like _that_ one survive?  Would they have let it go free?”  
  
“It… it honestly didn’t seem that bad to me,” said Alphys, forgetting her story of just having _heard_ about it.  
  
“IT KILLED PAPYRUS!!” wailed Undyne.  She raised her arms to the sky, moaning, then started tearing chunks out of the earth and hurling each one away with a scream.  One caught the edge of the lizard kid, but he didn’t run—it just made his shirt even messier.  “It killed him for NO REASON!  It could have made friends with him.  It could have spared him!  But it KILLED him, and for WHAT?  For what, Alphys??”  She gestured toward the house, with its multitude of silent “WHY?”s, almost as if it were an amalgamate itself.  
  
“I… I don’t know!”  Truthfully, she’d been pretty horrified when she’d seen the human turn the skeleton guard to dust.  At the time, she hadn’t quite put together that he was her friend CoolSkeleton95 from the Undernet, the guy that Undyne had been personally training.  Not to mention that he… might have been Gaster’s grandson?  She wasn’t sure—Gaster had never talked about his family.  
  
“For NOTHING!”  She stamped the ground, splintering a piece of wood.  “It was for _absolutely nothing!_   And then… and then, when I confronted it, the human had the gall to _run away!_   It wouldn’t let me fight it for real!  It ran straight into Hotland, where the heat SUCKS and I don’t know how you can live there, and when I collapsed on the bridge… it _brought me water!!_ ”  She sank to the ground and pulled her ears.  “It brought me water to humiliate me, Alphys!  It wouldn’t let me earn justice… and it wouldn’t kill me, Alphys.  IT WOULDN’T KILL ME!”  
  
Alphys was horrified.  There was a child present!  “Undyne!  It didn’t kill you, a-and… I’m _glad_ it didn’t.  Because I… I don’t know how I would have lived with myself if…”  
  
“We need to destroy them.”  Undyne wiped her face clean with one hand, leaving a mask of determination.  It was so clear in her, now that Alphys knew to look for it.  “We need to break the barrier, get to the surface, and wipe out _every single human on the planet._   There won’t be any justice _anywhere_ until we do!”  
  
“Undyne… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”  Actually, Alphys couldn’t express how much she hated the idea of wiping out another sapient species.  “Humans and monsters shared the earth i-in harmony once, right?  I’m sure if we give it enough effort, we can… we can do that again!”  The truth was, she wasn’t sure of that at all… but what they needed right now was hope, right?  
  
“We can NEVER do that!” roared Undyne, looking helpless with nothing left at hand to smash.    Well, except for Alphys, but it didn’t look like she was quite that far gone.  “It was all an act.  Don’t you understand?  All an evil act!  There was _never_ good in them!  They just pretended to be good, to fool us… until they could strike, and lock us down here forever.”  She sagged to the ground, exhaling heavily.  
  
“So, uh, yo, is my lesson over?” called the orange kid.  He’d dared to set his foot down and seemed pretty shaken up.  
  
“Yeah,” growled Undyne.  “You did great, kid.  Same time tomorrow?”  
  
“Sure!  Cool.  I’ll be here!”  He waited for Undyne to answer, but when she didn’t, he simply raced off.  Alphys watched him go.  
  
“He’s no Papyrus,” Undyne grunted.  
  
Alphys overcame her trepidation to step over the wreckage of the sawhorse monstrosity and hug Undyne.  This was her dear friend, not to mention crush, even if she was a little terrifying right now.  “I’m sorry,” she said.  
  
“Yeah,” said Undyne.  
  
“I—I know you were close to both Asgore and P-Papyrus.  This must be hurting you more than anyone else.”  
  
Undyne nodded a little, still not looking up.  
  
“But I’m still here.  That… that must count for something, right?”  
  
Finally, Undyne faced her with something other than rage.  “I hugged you, didn’t I?”  
  
“Yeah.”  Alphys steadied her arms around her friend.  “And now I’m hugging you.  So… not everything is ruined, right?”  
  
It was a while before Undyne answered.  “No.  Not everything.”  
  
Alphys looked at the house, with its hundred identical questions in light blue..  “Do you want help… painting over… that?”  
  
Undyne sighed.  “No.  That can stay.  I still want to know why.”  
  
“W-Well then… is it okay if we just go inside for a while?  I came over b-because I felt like I needed someone to be there for me… but if you need someone to be there for you, too… well, I can… I can do that.”  
  
Undyne suddenly squeezed Alphys tightly, treating her to a precious, white grin.  “Oh, we can definitely go inside!  I’ll cook for you!”  
  
“Oh!  Uh… okay!”  Alphys brightened.  “A-and I can eat what you cook!”  
  
“Great idea!” said Undyne.  She walked inside, not bothering to put Alphys down until they reached the kitchen table.  
  
The inside of the house was a wreck—things toppled and spilled everywhere.  The table was covered in cornflakes with the word “WHY” written in them.  Dishes were scattered all over the counter, some broken.  A pan of uncooked spaghetti sat on the stove, with the spaghetti box also upended in the pan.  A huge sword stood plunged into the center of the floor.  
  
Alphys blanched.  “I—I like what you’ve done with the place?”  
  
Undyne ignored her.  “Soda?”  
  
She smiled uneasily.  “Oh, uh, sure.  Soda sounds good.”  
  
Her hostess strode to the fridge and poured an overgenerous portion of yellow soda into a giant stein, which she plopped in the middle of the cornflakes with a sloshy crunch.  “Here ya go.”  
  
“Thanks.”  Alphys took the vessel in both hands and drank.  It was fizzy… just how she liked it.  
  
Undyne sat down at the piano, but regarded the thing with perplexity, like she couldn’t tell if it was friend or enemy.  After a while, she sighed roughly and started to play.  Her chords were cutting and strong, but not strong enough to break the keys.  She crossed her hands over each over and played, and played, and while the tune wasn’t pleasant, or structured, somehow it was still a tune.  Alphys sat tensely, sipping her soda and not daring to breathe too deeply.  It was good for her to hear this.  
  
Undyne finally broke down into cacophonous crashes and bent her head over the piano.  She sighed again, loudly.  It seemed like she was beyond tears, beyond yelling.  
  
Alphys hopped down and went over to put her hand on Undyne’s shoulder.  Undyne looked slowly at it, at her.  
  
“Are you… planning to train that lizard boy to join the guard?” asked Alphys.  
  
Undyne chortled.  “Sure.  Why not.  He thinks I’m the bee’s knees, so I might as well.  Plus, if I train him, then maybe he won’t get in the way next time I’ve got a human to chase down.”  
  
Alphys remember seeing that with her cameras.  “That’s good of you.  I’m glad you’ve got a new friend.”  
  
This was met with a soft grunt of a sigh.  
  
“But… are you sure you’re going to be able to keep up with your work?”  
  
This brought a scowl back to Undyne’s face; she crashed both arms on the piano.  “I’m supposed to be interviewing monsters to figure out if this ‘Toriel’ is the real Queen Toriel!”  
  
“…Um… and you don’t want to?”  
  
“No!  I don’t care if she is!  I don’t want her to be!  I just want her to go away.”  
  
“B-but, then who’ll lead us?”  
  
“I don’t care!  It doesn’t matter.”  
  
“I… thought you wanted a strong leader.  Someone who could f-fight the humans,” hazarded Alphys.  
  
Undyne began to play again, two very low notes in ominous alternation.  “I do.”  
  
“Th-then it does matter?”  
  
Undyne scowled, her ears shivering.  “I’ve got that dog couple interviewing the spider queen.  Looking for discrepancies.  Anything in her story that doesn’t add up.  I talked to that music jockey ghost this morning, and it was like squeezing lemon juice from a grapefruit.”  
  
“S-so they were sour, but the wrong kind of sour?” joked Alphys.  
  
“Just really depressed,” Undyne corrected.  “I mean, I’m depressed right now, but I think they’re like that all the time!  Plus, they just apologize when you punch them and your fist goes straight through!”  
  
“Oh.  Um.  Do you n-need any help?”  
  
Undyne shook her head.  “Still got to figure out who that Snowdin sentry is, but that can’t be too hard.  We haven’t got all that many sentries in the forest, and the so-called queen says she doesn’t think it was one of the dogs.  She says she used to talk to someone through the door who can vouch for her.”  
  
“Huh!  How odd!”  
  
“Said they swapped jokes together, and that was about it.  Not sure how that’s supposed to back up her story, but.”  She shrugged.  “I’ve got a sinking feeling I know who it is, though.”  
  
Alphys did, too.  “Pap’s brother?”  The human had interacted with him on their way through Snowdin.  
  
Undyne nodded and sighed again.  
  
“He shouldn’t be too hard to find, then, right?  Didn’t they share a house in Snowdin?”  
  
Undyne nodded.  “He’s not there now, though.  They checked.”  
  
“Oh.”  Alphys knew how that guy could get around.  “Well, I hope they find him soon.”  
  
“I don’t.  I don’t GIVE.  A.  HOOT.”  Undyne stood up—nearly knocking Alphys over—and strode to the stove.  “What do you say to some spaghetti, Alphys?  A big plate of super-deluxe spaghetti, _a la_ Papyrus!”  
  
Alphys hurried back to the table.  “Uh, okay!  That sounds pretty good.”  
  
So Undyne got to work.  She turned on multiple burners even when she was only using one; she laid the spaghetti over the top of the pan and smashed it in with the edge of her hand; she made sauce with gusto, cleaning peppers carefully and then tossing all the seeds in anyway.  She worked with what Alphys might have called ‘meticulous chaos’.  
  
“L-looking good over there!” Alphys ventured.  
  
“Thanks!  I’m doing my best!  Hard to believe we’ll never have the real stuff again, isn’t it?”  
  
Alphys had actually never tried Papyrus’s spaghetti, but she’d seen his outlandish creations in pictures on the Undernet, always proudly presented with a smile.  She really was starting to feel the loss.  “Yeah.  H-hard to believe.”  
  
Clang clang clang, went a spoon.  -Fooosh-, went the burners.  Alphys relaxed and enjoyed the performance, knowing that it, the blue ‘WHY’s, and the piano were all allotropes of the same element, so to speak.  They were all outlets for Undyne.  Alphys wondered how many more outlets her friend would need, and whether they would ever be enough.  
  
“Voila!  Spaghetti Grandiose, _a la_ Papyrus!” announced Undyne, sweeping hundreds of corn flakes off the table and dropping a huge plate of luxuriantly decorated spaghetti in their place.  It was dripping with scent and goodness, even though Alphys could tell it was both under- and overcooked.  There were giant matzo balls rolling back and forth almost like they were alive.  Undyne had stuck two colossal forks into the dish, and she gestured to one.  “Eat up!”  
  
Alphys was reminded of the giant gordita.  Did everyone have to make food with tremendous portions these days?  Was that their way of coping?  “It smells really good,” she offered.  
  
“It ought to!  Either that or really, really bad!”  Undyne twirled one of the big forks and slurped up a sizable portion, not waiting for Alphys.  
  
Alphys tried it.  It was… a mess, but a wonderful mess.  It was spaghetti with personality.  “I found a whole artichoke.”  
  
“Oh yeah, I threw that in just for fun.  It should be cooked pretty good!”  
  
Alphys peeled back one of the leaves and enjoyed it.  “Yeah, it’s fine,” she said.  “Good job!  You really do know how to do a lot of things.”  
  
“Me?  Look who’s talking!  Miss I’ll-just-put-an-ejection-button-in-your-shower-because-why-not!”  
  
Alphys blushed.  “Well, the principles behind the spring loader are surprisingly simple…”  
  
“Spare me!  It’s better if it’s a mystery.  My point is, you’re really amazing, Alphys, and I like you that way.”  
  
This actually was starting to cheer her up.  If Undyne respected her, maybe Alphys could actually start facing her fears.  She popped a matzo ball into her mouth and smiled.  
  
“Why’d you come over here, anyway?” Undyne asked.  “I know I’ve been kind of an attention hog.”  
  
“It’s all right, Undyne!  I don’t mind.”  After all, Undyne had a lot more to mourn than Alphys did, and Alphys was genuinely glad she got to be here for part of it.  
  
“Even so.  I want to be a good friend.  So tell me!  What’s on your mind?”  
  
Now that she had the chance, Alphys suddenly didn’t know what to say.  There was a _lot_ on her mind, but what could she tell Undyne?  She’d struck out this way with the vague idea that maybe she could reveal the truth about the amalgamates, but that seemed like a terrible idea now, with Undyne so fragile herself.  She didn’t think mentioning the missing golden flower would go well, either.  Revealing that anime wasn’t real after all?  No, that would go even worse.  And she _certainly_ couldn’t tell Undyne about her role in ‘helping’ the human child through Hotland.  Even now, Alphys had a hard time believing she’d really done that.  The mental distance probably kept her from having to work through the guilt—which was good, since she had plenty of guilt swimming in her already.  So what did that leave?  
  
“So… I mentioned meeting the queen, right?  The alleged queen?”  
  
Undyne looked up ruefully from her spaghetti.  “Yeah?”  
  
“Well.. She invited me to dinner… and she asked me about my projects.  It actually… made me a little nervous.”  
  
The fish warrior leaned in.  “Yeah?  Was she being nosy?”  
  
“Well…”  Alphys considered how to put it.  “She was just asking the questions she had to ask, really.  But I didn’t think she’d know so much, or all the right questions to ask!  She’s read Asgore’s diary.  Did you know that?”  
  
Undyne crashed her silverware to the table, dislodging another several dozen cornflakes.  “No!”  
  
“And, uh… well, she asked me to start working on a new machine.  A… a soul detector, basically.  Something that can tell if there are any human souls in the air… lingering… like they do.  Just in case the six we had aren’t really gone, after all.”  
  
“Really?”  Undyne scrunched her face in thought.  “That’s actually a pretty good idea.  Is it something you can do?”  
  
“I… I’m not sure.  I haven’t really given it a lot of thought yet.  Normally, when I have a big new project like this, I start an electronic diary of my own, and I brainstorm, and go for walks at the dump… it’s a whole process!  But I haven’t even begun that yet, because I’m worried about whether I should do it in the first place!”  
  
“Because you’re not sure if she’s the real queen.”  
  
_Because my life is about to fall apart because of all my terrible mistakes?  No, let’s go with what she said._   “R-right!  I’m not sure if I can trust her with something so important.  Not to mention all the questions she’s been asking about my research…”  
  
Undyne slurped down a prodigiously long strand of spaghetti, much longer than it should have been possible for any of them to be.  “Well, you know what?  I’ve got your back.  So screw her!  You don’t have to tell that lady anything!  Just say your lips are sealed until she’s earned your trust.  Which she probably never will!”  
  
Alphys nodded nervously.  “I basically did that.  I mean, I tried not to be mean about it, but… I told her I had to hold off until we’ve proven her identity.”  
  
“Right!  And even then!  Even if she is the queen, who says she’s earned our trust?  Hell, she walked out on us once!  Who’s to say she won’t do it again?”  
  
“B-but… if I don’t tell her about my research even then, she could fire me,” Alphys pointed out.  
  
“So what?  Everyone else knows you’re still the royal scientist.  Everyone else knows you’re the one who knows all the nerdy science stuff.  So who cares what some crummy queen thinks?”  
  
Alphys did.  She didn’t know why, exactly, but she cared.  “Well, I mean,” she stammered.  “The monsters might start to follow her.”  
  
Undyne shook her head slowly.  “We don’t need to let that happen.  We can nip it in the bud before it starts.  You think the people will follow a queen if the royal guard isn’t even on her side?  She won’t have any power!”  
  
Alphys swallowed.  “And… you don’t think the guard will be on her side?”  
  
Undyne planted a caring hand on Alphys’s back.  “Listen, Alph.  If you’re worried about what this queen might find out, then I’ll make sure she never has an ounce of power.  If that’s what you need to be happy, that’s what you’ll get!  You know why?”  
  
Alphys grinned nervously.  “Wh-why?”  
  
Undyne’s grin was bigger.  “Because friends are here to help friends!”  
  
Alphys tried to suppress the huge spaghetti-tangle of nerves inside her.  “Really?  You’d do that for me?”  
  
“Damn right I will.  Alphys, you mean a lot more to me than some queen who walked on out Asgore hundreds of years ago and left him to fend for himself.  A hell of a lot more.”  
  
Alphys blushed.  She could feel her heart beating harder.  “I don’t know if I want the whole Underground turned upside-down just for my sake.”  
  
Undyne smiled reassuringly.  “Oh, don’t worry.  That human’s the one who shook things up.  And this so-called Toriel’s the one trying to turn things upside-down!  We’re just going to keep things right-side-up, like they belong.”  
  
Alphys had never known what relief and dread felt like mixed together until now—they usually happened to her separately.  “A-all right.  Just let me know how I can help.”  
  
Undyne got to her feet and leaned over the table to pick Alphys up, trailing spaghetti.  “You kidding?  Alphys, you’ve already helped a ton!  So glad you came over.”  
  
_This would be the perfect moment to kiss._   “You’re welcome!  Thanks for the music and the spaghetti… and the support.  It means a lot to me.”  
  
“It’s nothing,” said Undyne.  “But we’ve wasted enough time, am I right?  Back to work, scientist!  You’ve got a soul detector to build!  And if you don’t want to make reports to the queen, that’s fine.  You can report to me!  Write all the reports you want—I might even read them!”  
  
Alphys laughed.  “I m-may just do that.  Thanks!”  
  
Undyne carried her to the door and set her down with a reassuring pat.  “Remember, Alph.  We’re in this together.  From here to the end.”  
  
“For as long as it takes,” Alphys answered, echoing an exchange from an anime she and Undyne had watched together.  
  
“To the end of the world,” finished Undyne.  
  
It really did feel good to have someone as loyal as Undyne behind her, even if it was for some of the wrong reasons.  Alphys turned around, saw the warrior’s giant pointy grin, and thought, _To hell with it._   She stepped forward on tiptoes and kissed Undyne on the chin.  
  
Undyne stared and chuckled.  “Aww, you.”  Her strong arms wrapped momentarily around Alphys and squeezed.  “Now get to work!”  
  
“Yes, ma’am!”  Alphys hurried away, but looked back on her way out and tripped on a broken piece of wood.  Well, if her exit were completely graceful, she wouldn’t be herself, would she?  
  
She paced back over the quiet waters to her lab, mind whirling.  What was going to come of this?  The royal guard, turning against the queen?  Was that really what she’d just set in motion?  
  
She swallowed.  If only it were the worst thing she’d done that week, it might have upset her a little.

[*******]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The monster kid's gender isn't given in the game, but in this story he's male. His name is Eggy!


	8. A Welcome Reunion

**Scene 8: A Welcome Reunion**  
or  
”Home (Joke Box)”  


* * *

  
  
_Knock knock._  
  
Ah.  So much for a peaceful evening of gathering her thoughts.  Toriel had actually managed to convince herself that at the end of her stressful day, this was what awaited her.  But no.  Of course that was wishful thinking.  Of course she would be interrupted.  The day’s business had brought her no respite; why would it come with the evening?  
  
Setting aside her supper plate, she forced herself up and approached the door.  “Who is there?” she called.  
  
Just one syllable cut through the door in reply, but it was powerful enough to grab her attention, even delivered as it was like a deep-voiced shrug.  “judge.”  
  
Toriel stood astonished, trying to process what she had just heard.  But at the end of her processing, there was really only one response: “Judge who?”  
  
“gezundheit,” said the voice through the door.  
  
What?  She laughed helplessly at the bizarreness of it.  Then she laughed genuinely because she got the joke.  ‘Judge who’ sounded like ‘Achoo,’ which was the sound of a sneeze!  
  
She continued to chuckle through her cupped hands even as she stared apprehensively at the door.  The mysterious voice from the forest had followed her here!  Was he here to haunt her reign?  Opening the door in the Ruins for him had never been a real possibility, since she relished her privacy… but here, it was different.  Should she actually open her door?  
  
“It is so good to hear your voice,” she confided.  Disturbing, yes, but reassuring.  
  
“hey, it’s not every day you meet a perfect joking partner.”  
  
Well, that was true.  “I must confess, I am surprised to find you here.”  
  
“didn’t think i’d follow you to the castle, huh?”  
  
“I had not even considered it!”  
  
“well, you gotta be there for friends, right?”  
  
“Yes, but… how did you even know my identity?  I never told you.”  
  
“well.  i heard the new queen had been hiding in the ruins.  and they said they had a sense of humor.  so i kind of just put the pieces together.  figured if i came all this way and knocked on the door, i’d probably hear your voice.”  
  
Toriel was touched, but the next question was very hard for her.  “…Would you like to come inside?”  
  
For a moment, silence met her.  Had she violated some sacred rule?  By inviting the voice inside, had she inadvertently lost it forever?  
  
But then: “sure.”  
  
Hesitantly, the queen opened the door to her new home, which had been her old home long ago.  She smiled bashfully as the figure was, at long last, revealed.  Oh, how fascinating!  He was a skeleton.  An adorably sized skeleton, in fact, with a stocky suit and a smile to match her own.  
  
“knew if i knocked often enough, eventually i’d get to come in,” he said.  
  
“Is that what all those Knock-Knock jokes were about?” mused Toriel facetiously.  “You merely wanted to come and live with me in the Ruins?”  
  
“nah.  i like the home i’ve got.  but it is nice to finally meet you face to face.”  
  
“The feeling is mutual!” Toriel exclaimed.  “So this is what you look like.”  
  
The skeleton walked easily inside and plopped himself down on the sofa.  “yep.  not much to look at, i know.  but my beautiful voice makes up for it.”  
  
“Oh, you,” chuckled Toriel.  “What is your name?  I imagine that you probably know mine already, but in case you do not, I am Toriel.”  
  
“it’s sans.  pleased to meet you, toriel.  even if I do have a bone to pick with you.”  
  
Toriel stood confused a moment, unsure whether that had been a pun.  “What is the issue?” she asked.  
  
He looked up.  “you remember that promise you talked me into making?”  
  
Toriel thought back.  She had a keen mind, even if it did often operate on its own wavelength, and as she remembered the promise, one connection led to another.  She had made him promise to protect any human who left her home.  It followed that he had protected the narrow-eyed child against his will—otherwise he would not have mentioned the promise in connection with ‘a bone to pick.’  The child had murdered three monsters.  One of them had been a puzzle-maker from Snowdin, a skeleton sentry.  Her friend was also a skeleton sentry from Snowdin.  Oh stars.  
  
Her eyes were wide.  “You have… you have lost a loved one.  And it is all my fault!”  
  
To her horror, the skeleton’s eyes went momentarily black.  But the little while pupils flickered back, and he said quietly, “not all.  it might have happened that way no matter what.  could be the human was destined to dust my brother, and nothing i did would’ve stopped it.”  He hunched himself up on the sofa.  “but i doubt it.”  
  
His brother.  Not a comrade in arms, not just a friend, but a brother.  Toriel knelt beside her guest and bowed her head.  “I am so very sorry.  It was my foolishness that cost your brother’s life.”  
  
The skeleton did not touch her, either for for comfort or admonishment.  “see,” he said after a while.  “this is why i don’t like making promises.”  
  
She knew instantly what he meant.  “Because they are rigid, and do not take into account the unexpected."  
  
“yup.  but at the same time, i don’t like to break them.”  
  
Toriel’s kept her voice low, her head still bent.  “I would never have imagined that my child—for I did think of the human as my own child—would do harm to others.  I was thinking only of the possibility that others would do harm to them.”  Her eyes became watery.  “This was foolish of me.  I should have known better.”  
  
“how come?  have you met humans before?”  
  
Now the shame was beginning to grow painful.  But there was no reason it should not be painful.  “Yes.  I have known several.  All children.”  Except for those in the distant, distant past, but those faces were already forgotten.  
  
“several?  let me guess how many.  six?”  
  
It seemed this skeleton—Sans?—was at least as astute as Toriel herself.  “Yes.  All the children whose souls Asgore harvested first came through my home and my care.”  She decided not to mention the very first.  
  
“huh.  and did any of them… show signs of violence?”  
  
An affinity for guns.  A fondness for tricking Toriel into consuming hot peppers.  A propensity for punching and yelling.  “Some of them, yes.”  
  
“they did, huh?  and, even so, you kept taking them in?  and letting them go?”  
  
Toriel’s lip curled.  She remained bent in geneflection, not seeking her companion’s eyes. “Each of them desired freedom.  Some simply wanted to find their way home, so that they could return to the lives and families they had known.  One had a quest to fulfill.  One… simply came to hate me.”  She raised her head.  “I took them in because they were children in need of care, and I let them go in time because I could not satisfy their every need alone.”  
  
The skeleton was quiet a while.  “and this last one?  why did they leave?”  
  
Toriel sniffed.  “I wish I knew.”  
  
“you didn’t ask?”  
  
“They only kept asking how to leave the Ruins.  When I asked why they would not stay with me, they did not reply.”  She shed a tear.  “And yet, when I finally relented… they hugged me.  Dearly.”  She dared to look up.  “It was clear that they felt love for me, and yet, for some reason, could not remain in my home.”  
  
“but… didn’t it ever occur to you that some of these kids might have been dangerous?”  
  
She reflected.  “I was a mother to them.  I lay awake at night worrying that they would be harmed.  I suppose my care for them blinded me somewhat to their nature.”  
  
The skeleton was silent for a long time.  Toriel eventually straightened, though she remained kneeling.  She said nothing.  It was not her place to speak next, for she was the one with dust on her hands, the one in need of forgiveness.  
  
“the souls.  they’re gone, right?”  
  
“Yes,” said Toriel.  “Although it is possible that they may still be lingering, somewhere.”  
  
“so what happens when another human child comes through?  do you take them in again?”  
  
That was a very difficult question.  She was responsible, in part, for the death of this monster’s brother.  And the answer he would want to hear was not the answer she wished to give.  
  
“you would, wouldn’t you?”  
  
Toriel nodded forlornly.  
  
“but you’d be more careful about letting them out of your sight, right?  
  
Toriel considered.  She nodded again, more emotionally this time.  
  
A bell clanged thrice.  
  
She was on her feet instantly.  “What in the world?!”  
  
“don’t worry about it.”  The skeleton was still lounging easily on her sofa.  “it didn’t come from anywhere.  it just happens around me sometimes.  and usually?  for each person, it only happens once.”  
  
There was no bell in this house that Toriel knew of.  There certainly had not been a bell when she and Asgore had lived here together.  “Explain yourself, please.”  
  
The skeleton sat up straight, grinning enigmatically.  “i already did.  remember when i knocked, and you asked, ‘who’s there?’”  
  
This was only getting stranger.  “You said, ‘Judge.’”  
  
The skeleton nodded.  “yup.  that’s me.  i’m your judge.  i work for you now.”  
  
Was this somehow a joke?  “I was not aware that there was such a position as the Royal Judge.”  
  
“well, usually asgore just called me ‘the judge.’  not royal anything.  but it’s true.  now that he’s gone, i work for you.  and i just judged you.”  
  
Toriel swallowed.  “And what is your judgment?”  
  
He put out his arms and sprawled on the sofa.  “you’re alright.”  
  
Silly though the moment was, Toriel felt relief flood through her.  She stifled a laugh.  “Really?”  
  
“yup.  you messed up, but you were acting out of love.  and you know what you did wrong, and you want to do better next time.  sure, if you hadn’t let the kid go, the most precious person in the world to me would still be here.  but.”  One of his eyes suddenly shone bright for an instant.  “it’s my fault too.  i didn’t have to let you talk me into making that promise.  i was a chump.”  
  
This would not do.  “Sans—that is your name, correct?”  He nodded.  “Sans, I am very sorry for making a chump out of you.  If you would prefer, I will never ask you to promise me anything again.”  
  
He shrugged.  “you know the consequences.  i’ll leave it up to you.”  
  
Now that the weight of the moment had passed, Toriel wanted to know more.  “Can you… please explain to me what the purpose of your office is?”  
  
“you mean, what does the judge do?”  
  
“Yes, precisely.”  
  
“i judge people.  it’s kinda that simple.  i look at them and decide whether they’re okay or not.  i don’t do it a lot, so don’t ask me to judge someone just cause you think they might have lied to you.  like i said, i usually only do it once for each person, so you don’t want to use it up on something small.”  
  
Given that, it was humbling and significant that he had chosen to judge Toriel on their first face to face meeting.  But she could not say it had been unjustified.  Was it even a choice, or did he… judge without trying?  “I shall keep that in mind!  It may indeed come in handy.  If I may ask… how do you perform your judgments?”  
  
The skeleton crossed his hands behind his head.  “aahh, i’d rather not say.  honestly, if you want to fire me, i won’t be mad.  basically, you can believe me, or not.  it’s fine either way.”  
  
Toriel’s nostrils flared.  “I have no intention of firing you, Sans.  You are my friend.  And even if you have judged me kindly, I am still guilty of making possible the death of—”  
  
He lifted a bony hand.  “ut.  don’t mention it.  you don’t want your judge to fall apart, do you?”  
  
Toriel stood stubbornly.  “Of course I do not.”  
  
“then let’s change the subject.  because i’m just barely keeping it together.  it’s good to talk to you again.  got any new jokes?”  
  
With some difficulty, Toriel managed to switch gears.  “As a matter of fact, I have been rather preoccupied lately.”  
  
The grin grew slightly.  “yeah?  i’m not surprised.”  
  
“I am faced with reassuming a role I have not occupied for hundreds of years.  I had not yet finished grieving the loss of my child when I learned that I must grieve for my former husband instead.  And I am also coping with guilt, as you have seen.”  
  
“so, no jokes?”  
  
Toriel stared sternly at the skeleton.  “I have only been able to compose six or seven new jokes.  I am merely explaining why the number is not greater.”  
  
“oh.  i gotcha.  all right.  lay ‘em on me.”  
  
So Toriel assumed a joke-telling position in her easy chair and proceeded to share her material with her new judge.  It was something of a delight—she had never had the benefit of facial expressions or gestures before when it came to making him laugh.  He seemed receptive to her style of delivery—perhaps it was her eager good faith, or the way she kept her hands neatly folded?  In any case, it was excellent to still have someone she could laugh with.  Toriel had feared that she would have to do without.  
  
“Tell me, Sans.  Why is my floor so dirty?”  
  
He leaned over to look.  “it’s not really dirty at all, if you ask me.  then again, i’ve got like zero standards when it comes to keeping things clean.  so i’ll bite.  toriel, why’s your floor so dirty?”  
  
She displayed a calculated grin.  “Because I have not yet had time to QUEEN up!”  
  
Seeing the way Sans’s eyes went dark for a second before the eruption of his deep laugh somehow made it indescribably more satisfying.  


[++++++++]


	9. Mylar Tape Lasts for Hundreds of Years Apparently

**Scene 9: Mylar Tape Lasts for Hundreds of Years Apparently**  
or  
”Bad Night”  


* * *

  
  
That pun… something about it felt familiar.  Something about it resonated.  Even with everything else Alphys had to worry about—all her totally valid fears and inadequacies—for some absurd reason, the thing keeping her from falling asleep was the memory of Toriel joking, “They would have called me, u-MOMMY!”  
  
What was _wrong_ with Alphys?!  
  
It was almost as if she could hear the queen’s voice, here in bed with her.  And that thought, she really had to get out of her head.  The boss monster terrified her, to tell the truth.  She was just as wise as Asgore, but far more incisive—she’d gotten to the bottom of Alphys’s biggest secret over the course of just one dinner.  
  
Well, second-biggest, she supposed.  Now that she’d actually helped a human child who’d gone on to murder the king.    
  
It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time.  She’d wanted the child to stay with her, but they’d made it clear that wasn’t going to happen, so it was either them or Asgore… and who was Alphys to say that a child should die?  But now she missed the king, and besides… it was treason no matter how you stacked it up, wasn’t it?  Alphys was guilty of high treason.  Compared to that, conducting unethical experiments on patients and then lying about it seemed almost quaint.  
  
She lay staring at the ceiling with a grotesque look of hope on her face.  Could there be an upside to this?  Maybe knowing that her _real_ crime was so much more terrible would give her the push she needed to come clean on the Amalgamates!  After all, there was no better motivation for doing something you’ve been putting off than for an even _worse_ job to come along.  
  
Or as Gaster had once put it, “PROCRASTINATION IS AN EXCELLENT TOOL FOR COMPLETING THE SECOND-HARDEST ITEM ON ONE’S LIST.”  
  
Alphys sighed.  She really missed the sound of Gaster’s voice.  Not to mention that his advice would be really helpful right about now.  
  
Not that there was anything lacking about Asgore’s voice, of course.  It had been a powerful bass, like the steady anchor of a ship at sea.  He was someone whose voice she wouldn’t mind hearing in bed… not one bit.  She’d roll over and find him there, and he’d hold her, and comfort her, and she’d know in an instant that everything would be all right.  …If only he weren’t dead.  If only she hadn’t enabled his murder.  And if only she’d ever had the guts to tell him how she…  
  
In anger, she squashed her head into a pillow.  Why did Alphys have to _crush_ on everyone she respected?  Why couldn’t she just respect them?  It made her feel so bottled up…  
  
She remembered Asgore telling her that she had an excellent mind for inquiry.  She remembered his look of wonder when she’d first introduced him to Mettaton, how he’d been so cautious shaking hands with the robot… and how he’d told her afterwards that he was sure she’d serve him well for a very long time.  _God, don’t think about what happened.  Better to hug than cry yourself to sleep…_ But really, either would be okay, because any kind of sleep would be better than this.  
  
Alphys drifted on the edge of dreams.  Asgore was with her in bed now, and she savored his soft, warm touch.  Voices came to her from out of the darkness, from within.  
  
_“What is my favorite vegetable?” asked Toriel._  
  
_“Hmm… carrots, right?” replied Asgore._  
  
_“No no no!  My FAVORITE vegetable is… Eda-MOM-e.”_  
  
Alphys sat bolt upright, blankets falling.  
  
The videos!  The video tapes she’d found in the castle!  
  
She’d forgotten about them.  But they were of Asgore and his old family!  She vaguely remembered getting the sense that his kids had hatched a plan to poison themselves, or something, and she’d decided never to watch them again, since what was the point of digging up centuries-old tragedies?  But… the first tape had been him and his wife, hadn’t it?  
  
It was almost inconceivable that someone else would have the exact same propensity for mother-themed puns.  But it was possible to impersonate mannerisms.  So Alphys jumped out of bed, nearly catching the tip of her tail as it clanged into a cube, and hurried for the elevator to her secret lab.  She hustled through the hallways, ignoring the late-night amalgamates who trailed after, hoping for attention or snacks.  She ran down to the TV lounge, found the ancient VHS tapes, and popped in the first one.  
  
“Psssst.  Gorey, wake up.”  
  
Sure enough.  That was her.  That was the voice of the woman she’d had dinner with the other day.  It was younger, sure, but it was definitely the same person.  She listened through the rest of the tape just to make sure.  Then, numbly, she put in the rest of the tapes and listened to them, one by one—none of them had any visuals.  Toriel’s voice was on the last tape.  Alphys felt her throat constricting: she was listening to a mother utterly afraid that her child would die.  But Alphys knew that _both_ her children had died.  And then, of course, she’d left her husband.  Things were going to be so much worse for the scared woman on the tape than she could imagine, and Alphys, listening, knew it.  
  
She couldn’t cry.  She left the secret lab with her jaws tense and a headache building.  
  
Now she knew for certain that Toriel was the true queen.  There was no more pretext of doubt.  If she continued stonewalling because of Toriel’s identity, she would be full-out lying.  Yet despite this, she didn’t regret listening again to the tapes.  Alphys was a scientist, and for her, pursuit of truth was more important than any form of self-deception.  
  
If only she could apply that standard to the truths she told other people.  
  
…She’d been so close to sleep, too.  Well, that was a lost cause now.  Might as well get some work done.  
  
Alphys seated herself at her giant console.  She created a blank document and titled it, “SOUL DETECTOR: BRAINSTORMING SHEET.”  
  
She typed for fifteen minutes, during which time she succeeded partially in forgetting the breadth of her troubles.  
  
Then, giving in, she pushed a few buttons and slumped back in her chair.  Episode 25 of _Flower Saga Radiant,_ a shoujo anime, started to play.    Alphys gave it her full attention.  Within half an hour, her fears were gone and she was lost in the world of her show.  
  
She watched four more episodes before finally collapsing back into bed, her mind filled with thoughts of secret admirers, elaborate transformation sequences and brilliantly colored gardens, all playing out under the light of the human sun.

[*********]


	10. An Ambition Takes Root

**Scene 10: An Ambition Takes Root**  
or  
”Spear of Justice”  


* * *

  
  
Things had been quiet for a long stretch… but when a stretch like that ended, it was the more exciting for the long wait.  That human kid who’d come by felt like the end of a stretch… and now, sure enough, the shopkeeper had company.  Things were moving!  
  
“Wahaha!  Look who’s come to visit!” he cried.  
  
Rather than echoing, his cavalier voice overpowered the small cave, making it feel like a room in an ordinary home.  Reflected luster from the starstones in the walls gleamed off Undyne’s triangle-filled grin.  “Why wouldn’t I come to visit?  I never understood why you find everything so damn funny!”  
  
“Because it is!” insisted Gerson.  “If you look from the right angle.  And by the time you reach my age, you’ve pretty much picked your angle!”  His involved a lot of seeing the humor in things.  
  
“Yeah, well.  Speaking of that.”  
  
“Speaking of ages, or angles?” asked the old tortoise in the pith helmet.  
  
“Ages!” replied. Undyne, crouching to keep from bumping her head.  It amused Gerson to have a low ceiling.  “You heard about Asgore?”  
  
He winked an old yellow eye.  Time to provide his own take.  “I heard he finally found his way out!”  
  
“His way out?  Of where?”  
  
“Of his own web!  Old Dreemurr had been looking for a way out ever since he lost his folks and declared war on the surface!  You didn’t think he really wanted to destroy humanity, did you?”  
  
By the warrior’s expression, she was indeed surprised.  “What?  Of course he did!  It was what he was all about!”  
  
Gerson laughed.  “For a week, maybe!  After the surface folk killed his kid, I’d’ve bet he really would destroy ‘em to a soul.  That’s how angry he was!  But old Fluffybuns was soft.  He couldn’t hold that anger in him.”  He sized up his guest.  “Not the way you can!  He let it slip away, piece by piece, until all that was left was the promise.  But what a promise!”  
  
One of Undyne’s magical blue spears pierced the wall over the shopkeeper’s head.  It nearly took his helmet off; he ducked suddenly, spun around to view the damage, and popped back up, chipper as ever.  “Remember, young lady, you’re in my shop.  You break, you buy!”  
  
“You’re calling Asgore a liar?!” she demanded.  
  
Gerson smiled.  “What I’m calling him, is a politician.”  He chuckled knowingly.  “He only did what he had to.  After all, if he’d just shrugged and said, ‘Let the humans do whatever they want’—well, that wouldn’t have been too good for morale, would it?  And over the long haul, morale is life.”  
  
Undyne’s crouch grew deeper, her yellow eye shining.  “You almost seem happy that Asgore died!”  
  
“Happy?  You’ve got me wrong, Undyne.  I’m gonna miss the old bugger something fierce.  But when things go bad, you’ve got to look on the bright side. And the bright side here is that Dreemurr’s troubles are done.  Did you know he was terrified of what would happen when Human Kid Number Seven finally decided to drop in?  Did you know he cried into his pillow every time he harvested a human soul?  I should know—I was his pillow once!  Wuah ha ha!”  
  
The spear in the wall vanished, leaving a gash not terribly out of place in the jagged cave.  “Look, Gerson.  We can talk about Asgore and how DETERMINED he was some other time.  Right now, I’m here for information.  Did you hear who came along after he died, all ‘Whoop-de-do, I get to be in charge now’?”  
  
What was this?  “Can’t say I have,” said Gerson.  “Honestly?  I would’ve thought that job would go to you!’  
  
Undyne frowned, shocked.  “Me?  Rule the Kingdom of Monsters?”  
  
“Well, why not?  You’re determined, strong, a go-getter if I ever saw one.  You’re a woman who knows what she wants!  And you actually believe in justice!   That, I admire.”  
  
Undyne peered.  “Don’t _you_ believe in justice?  They used to call you the Hammer of Justice!”  
  
“And I used to be young,” Gerson countered.  “I’ve seen too much.  But if you can hang onto that, do it!  Believing in justice _and_ being a strong leader?  That takes the cake!”  
  
It looked like his words were beginning to make an impression.  “You think I would be a good queen?”  
  
Didn’t she think so?  “Sure!  Good as anyone,” he shrugged, before getting things back on track.  “But you were about to tell me who’s shown up and taken over instead.  I wouldn’t mind hearing who I’m expected to answer to!”  
  
The fish warrior was silent a moment, lost in her own thoughts.  “No one,” she finally said.  “Some random guy called Flame Heatsman or something.  Claims he’s descended from royalty, if only we’d just remember.”  
  
“What?!”  Well, that wasn’t what Gerson had been expecting.  “Undyne, I’d lay crowns to crab apples that’s pure succotash!  Asgore didn’t have any relatives after his kid died, excepting his wife, of course, and she’s long gone.  Nope, the throne’s up for grabs!  And it sounds like anyone interested had better hurry up and get their claim in.”  He winked, just to cement the idea in the fish’s brain.  
  
Undyne stared.  “Are you saying you’d support me?”  
  
Gerson let loose with a devil-may-care laugh.  “Of course!  I let you fight at my heels all through your childhood, and a very diligent fighter you were, too!  Who else would I support?”  
  
Undyne pressed her lips thoughtfully together.  Then she tossed her ponytail back.  “Well, of course you’d back me up!  I _would_ be worthy of the throne, wouldn’t I?  I’d probably have Alphys install some new features in it, of course, like an ejector seat.  And spears that shoot from the arms!  And a new paint job.  But she loves doing that sort of thing!”  
  
Now she was getting into the spirit of the idea.  And Gerson was glad.  He _was_ awfully sad about Asgore having finally kicked the bucket, but if he could pick anyone in the Underground to replace him, it might as well be this warrior lady right here.  Laughing jovially, he plopped a thermos of sea tea on the counter.  “Care to drink to your new fortunes?”  
  
Undyne seized the thermos, grinning.  “Don’t mind if I do!”  She took a heavy swig and slammed it down.  
  
Gerson drank from the same thermos, exhaled, and wiped his mouth.  “Just one thing,” he added.  “Promise me you’ll be a good queen?  You’ll do the right thing whenever you can tease out what it is, and never let your power get to your head?”  
  
Undyne didn’t answer right away—she had to catch her breath and think.  But then she nodded dramatically.  “I’ll be the best ruler monsterkind ever had!  I’ll do all the right things.  But if I ever get too full of myself?”  She smacked a spear down on the counter.  “I want YOU to put me back on track!”  
  
What?  That was more flattering and more sensible than the old tortoise had been expecting.  “Me?” he replied.  “You really think these old bones’d have anything to say to your young frame?”  
  
The captain grinned and winked.  “Don’t be coy, Gerson.  I know you can still beat me.  You’ll always be able to beat me.  Even if I am stronger, my brain’s no match for yours.”  
  
She might have a point.  “Well!  That’s a bit of an issue, isn’t it?  A good ruler needs a good head on her shoulders.  Where’s yours?”  
  
To Gerson’s surprise, Undyne stood up stock straight and pointed east toward Hotland.  “She’s over that way in her lab!  If I become queen, I _know_ she’ll be my best adviser!”  
  
“O-ho!  So you really do have a brain—you just don’t keep it in your skull!”  Gerson tapped his own head.  “Very clever.  You’re talking about that little yellow one, I presume?  The one who’s always scavenging in the dump?”  
  
“That’s her!”  
  
But how exactly did they know each other?  He shot her a sly look.  “You two are close, then?”  
  
Now Undyne was embarrassed.  “We’re pals!  We’re good pals.  I help her carry stuff sometimes, and she teaches me about human history!  Pretty much just the awesome parts, though.”  
  
Gerson wondered if there was more than that—he knew Undyne was a ladies’ girl.  But it wasn’t really his business, was it?  “Sounds like a friendship made in heaven!” he said, putting away the empty thermos.  “Well, I’ve got no qualms, then.  You’ll be the brawn on the throne, and she’ll be the brains behind it.  Just like Toriel used to be.”  He picked up Undyne’s spear and waved it toward the door.  “Might as well go let her know your big plans!”  
  
Undyne laughed aloud and ducked out of the cave.  “No need to run!  I’ll send her a text!  She loves getting those.”  
  
Fair enough!  Gerson didn’t know a text from a textile, but he appreciated the existence of newfangled things.  “Nice seeing you, squirt!  Don’t be afraid to tap _me_ for advice now and then, too!”  
  
“Will do!” said Undyne, saluting.  
  
She then turned grimly to working the buttons on her phone.  Gerson watched with a twinkle in his eye, reflected by countless starstones that had been reminding monsters of the sky they’d lost for almost as long as they’d been underground.  So now, at long last, a new face was about to lead monsterkind, with a brilliant mind supporting her.  Tides rise, he reflected, and tides fall.  Would they be good leaders?  Well, why not?  It wasn’t like _he’d_ do a better job!  
  
Nearby, echo flowers recorded the quiet beep-beep-beep of a cell phone about to reshape history.

[/\/\/\/\/\\]


	11. Allegiances Form

**Scene 11: Allegiances Form**  
or  
“The Choice”  


* * *

  
  
The trembling clerk behind the counter with a dangerously tall smile repeated his prescribed line: “Welcome to MTT Brand Burger Emporium, Home of the Glamburger! Sparkle up your day!”  
  
The red-haired, round headed little monster in a trench coat before him cleared their throat. “Actually… I have a special instruction for you. _Splendiferous!_ ”  
  
The clerk seemed to snap a little at the sound of the word. “Splendiferous?!  Well, of course! Right this way!” He opened up a section of the counter and gestured through with unnecessary helpfulness. “The big cheese did say he was expecting a visitor, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen _you_ around before!”  
  
“Aheh… well, I’m just one of his fans. You know how he is… always reaching out to fans!”  
  
“Oh, I sure do! He’ll reach out to anyone if it’ll make his employees jealous!” The clerk pressed the handle of a soft-serve starfait machine the wrong way.  Dark red goop started swirling from it, steaming as it hit the grate. A section of wall bearing a poster full of employee regulations opened up, revealing a narrow red staircase. “Right through here, sir and/or ma’am!”  
  
The redheaded monster in the trench coat stepped up the stairs one by one. Then the door shut behind her, leaving the staircase lit only by twinkling pink and purple lights and by glowing hearts affixed to the wall.  Alphys took off her disguise and rolled it into a neat little packet. She might have gotten by without it, but then, there were an awful lot of monsters these days who wanted to talk to her about their loved ones. That could easily have been… awkward.  
  
Not like this meeting.  This meeting wasn’t going to be awkward in the slightest!  It was just another ordinary, routine meeting of the Underground’s Human Fanclub.  Ugh, these funhouse stairs were always annoying—by the top, they got so tall that Alphys had to climb up. Maybe she should invent spring shoes for herself? Right, sure, that would probably be a good use of her time. If she ever did, she wouldn’t be surprised if Mettaton made his private office even harder to get to in response.  
  
He didn’t even wait for her. His amplified voice crackled through the stairwell from speakers that he’d apparently installed everywhere.  “Alphys, dear!  You seem to be having trouble!  Would you like help?”  
  
Alphys looked up. “I guess?” she called.  
  
Machinery crackled.  The stairs started to heave up and down, leaving huge gaps between one and the next. Alphys shrieked and struggled to catch her balance on a single step.  
  
“What are you doing?!” she yelled.  
  
“Do you like it? It’s my personal take on the ‘escalator’ concept,” said the voice over the loudspeakers. “Automated stairs are a fabulous idea, but one simply rising above the next? How boring! This way, you can proceed by stepping down from one stair to the next, only to find yourself sky-high in seconds!”  
  
The idea sounded terrible and turned out to be even worse than it sounded.  Alphys was lurched up and down as she made her way slowly forward, sometimes retreating backward in order to escape a particularly dangerous step.  She nearly toppled once or twice, but managed to skitter forward when the stairs were close together, and eventually she made it to the top without being physically harmed. She’d lost her disguise, but maybe she could retrieve it on the way out?  
  
Mettaton emerged proudly from his office to meet her before she could get her bearings. “Why, if it isn’t Dr. Alphys!”  As if he somehow hadn’t known it was her.  “It’s so good to see you again. Won’t you please come in?”  
  
The foyer was painted garish colors—crimson, lime, carnation pink, drab orange—with circles and zigzags and dots everywhere, and even a fake door or two. It was poorly lit, like a funeral home for clowns. Mettaton himself was wearing a dark blue leisure suit with a pink and black shirt peeking out. The funny thing was that he didn’t normally wear clothes in public at all—his EX body was designed to look respectable and glamorous on its own—which meant that he was actually putting in extra effort in order to dress casually. Alphys assumed there was some message there.  
  
“S…sure!” she replied.  “You, uh, look good!”  
  
Saying nothing in response, he strode forward and kicked open a door that Alphys hadn’t even seen amid all the confusing wall patterns. It flew open as if it were designed to be kicked. Inside was Mettaton’s familiar office, appointed with desk, chair, file cabinet, chaise lounge, numerous huge pillows with his face on them, and a deluxe, oversized sound system. The window, with a seductively curved perimeter, overlooked the third level of Hotland and the entrance to the resort. Alphys suspected that he actually slept in here sometimes.  
  
“Please close the door, Doctor. After all, we wouldn’t want anyone eavesdropping, in case sensitive things are discussed here!”  
  
Alphys closed the door a little nervously. “H-How’s the new body working out?” After his dramatic and televised defeat to the human child, Alphys had rebuilt Mettaton with a more energy-efficient system. It wasn’t capable of such dramatic poses and kicks, but it could last a lot longer before having to be recharged.  In theory, at least.  Alphys hadn’t seen him at all since then, except on the television.  
  
He sat down in a swiveling office chair and crossed his legs, which still had hot pink highlights on the calves—Alphys had made sure of that. “Oh, I’ve been getting by. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that since I went EX, my ratings have risen like birds!” He grabbed a tumbler of something caramel-colored with ice and gulped deeply from it, his arm curving like a giant noodle. “Or perhaps I do need to tell you. You’ve been rather reclusive of late, haven’t you, Doctor?”  
  
“Can’t—um, can’t you just call me Alphys, like you used to?  I, uh.. yes, I guess I have been pretty busy, what with one thing and another.  But I asked to see you, didn’t I?  That must count for something.”  
  
“Indeed!” A jovial smile crossed Mettaton’s metallic features as he grabbed up a gavel from the desk. “And on that note, I hereby declare the fourteenth meeting of the Official Human Fanclub of the Underground… open!” The gavel struck the desk so hard Alphys cringed. “Would the official secretary care to read the minutes from our previous meeting?”  
  
This wasn’t entirely in character for Mettaton, who didn’t usually stand on formality for their little two-person club. “Um, can’t we just… dispense with that? I mean, it’s just the two of us, and I… didn’t really come to talk about humans…”  
  
He leaned in abruptly, sliding one heel across the floor with a loud squeal, until his smiling face was far too close to hers. “But isn’t that what we’re here to talk about, Alphys? Perhaps…. about one human in particular?”  
  
This did not bode well. “Um… I guess if you want to?”  
  
He leaned back. “It’s rather the news on everybody’s lips, isn’t it? A tiny human—a mere child—drops into the Underground, slays a prominent resident of Snowdin and a peon in Waterfall, then finds themselves repeatedly doing battle with the Underground’s paramour, and somehow! Somehow, triumphs every time, with the genius assistance of a certain reptilian inventor!” He grabbed a megaphone from his desk—had he prepared for this?—and threw his face to the ceiling, crooning, “THE GREAT! DOCTOR! ALPHYS!” It echoed for longer than it should have. “So, finally, I put my foot down. I reveal the diabolical scheme you inveigled me into, reveal my true beauty—!” He paused to throw out his limbs, tossing his shining hair. “—and attempt to end the threat to monsterkind, thus cementing myself as our greatest hero.”  
  
Alphys didn’t remember it quite like that. “But I thought—you only wanted the human’s soul so you could go to the surface and b-become a star there.”  
  
His face was suddenly in hers, making her cringe again. “Darling. Beloved. Is that really how you want people to remember it? Because as selfish as I come off looking, keep in mind that you. Look. Even. Worse.”  
  
Alphys blinked.  Was that true?  “I… well, yes, I mean, I know…”  
  
He thrust back, his chair slamming into the wall beside the window. “I announced, on live broadcast television, my intention to steal one of the most valuable resources in the Underground—a human soul—for my own purposes, rather than turn it over to the king. Did I change my mind? Certainly! But the human child I chose to spare went on to kill the king… and so you see, darling, when dealing with some people, you simply can’t win.”  
  
He was definitely right about that.  “But… did you get in trouble for it?”  
  
“Not yet!” Mettaton kicked up his heels and landed them loudly, one at a time, on the corner of his desk. “You see, I knew I was being technically treasonous, but King Asgore—there was no way that softheart would actually try to prosecute the Underground’s greatest star. But now.” He glared at Alphys. “Now, we have a new ruler—have you heard about it? Another boss monster, claiming to be Asgore’s long lost wife, has assumed the throne and started making inquiries. How long do you suppose until she hears that the creature who took her husband’s life was on _my show_ and that you and I, working in tandem, failed to detain them? Yes, I went along with your inane plan, but at least I gave stopping them a legitimate try at the end. You, on the contrary, helped the murderer from _start to finish._ ”  
  
This was exactly what Alphys was afraid of.  
  
“Do you… do you think she’ll have us arrested if she finds out?”  
  
“When she finds out, my dear Alphy. If she somehow hasn’t already. And I don’t honestly know! From what I hear, she’s the tender type, so perhaps she’ll forgive our softness toward a child lost in a strange world, on the argument that we didn’t know they had such a murderous nature. But that begs an important question, Alphys…” Suddenly pinpoint spotlights swirled, and familiar game show music played, as Mettaton stared Alphys down. “Did you know that the child had already killed?”  
  
Alphys froze up, her mouth open. “Uh—”  
  
“DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT KNOW?”  
  
Alphys painfully recalled watching the young adventurer end the lives of a skeleton and a monster shaped like a bathtub with legs. “Y-yes, I guess! But… they were just defending themselves, mainly, trying to, to incapacitate monsters so that they could spare them, and, um… I guess a couple of times, they misjudged?” Not with the skeleton. With him, it had been methodical. But saying so wouldn’t help.  
  
“You watched with your hidden cameras,” said Mettaton.  
  
“Yes,” Alphys admitted.  
  
The music stopped, and he dropped to one knee before her. “You saw a murderer cutting through our people, and your take on it was, ‘Ooh! A murderer! I wonder if I can impress them!’”  
  
Alphys hid her face in her hands. “Yes.”  
  
“You are pathetic, Alphys.”  
  
“I know, I know.”  
  
“And you put my reputation in danger as well! I thought we were toying with a harmless child, not a deadly scourge!”  
  
_YOU BETRAYED ME!_ Alphys was tempted to shout. _I’m the one who should be mad at you!_   But she couldn’t. Shouting in anger wasn’t her nature. So she only cried, “I KNOW! I’m sorry!”  
  
“You must NEVER reveal that you knew. Our story must be that we had no idea the child was capable of murder!”  
  
_But you were capable of murder too—you were going to kill them!_ …was another thing that Alphys didn’t say. “All right. All right, I’ll never tell.”  
  
“And you should really remove those hidden cameras, just to be on the safe side. They could arouse suspicion if anyone tracks them back to you.”  
  
Alphys nodded helplessly. She would get rid of her cameras. She didn’t deserve to have special knowledge of what people were doing.  
  
“As for this queen,” Mettaton continued, “I really don’t know what to expect. Did you know, Undyne has been going around trying to muster support _against_ the queen?  First I heard rumors in the resort, and then, sure enough, just yesterday she asked to meet with me, and asked whether I would support _her_ as queen instead.”  
  
What.  “Undyne… a-as queen?”  
  
“Why, yes, darling!  ‘Support from our only TV star would go a long way,’ she said.  ‘You can win over hearts and minds!  You can _bludgeon_ hearts and minds with your charisma powers!’  Do you know, I think she has things about right?”  
  
Alphys didn’t know what to hope for.  “So… d-did you tell her yes?”  
  
Mettaton threw his arms up in frustration.  “I didn’t know what to tell her!  This new queen may spell the end for me, yes, but how can I be sure _Undyne_ as ruler would be any better?  You know she doesn’t like my show.  And I think she still holds a grudge for what I did to her piano that one time.  She probably isn’t aware of what happened any more than Mrs. Asgore is.”    
  
“…But she’ll find out,” said Alphys.  
  
“Undoubtedly.  And when she learns that the seventh human soul, the one to break the barrier, could have been ours, and we let it slip through our fingers?”  
  
Alphys gulped.  “Sh-she’ll be mad.”  
  
The robot loomed balefully over Alphys.  “Undyne is always mad.  When she finds out, she will be _furious_.”  
  
Fear threatened to subsume Alphys.  She felt her breathing getting shallow.  
  
“People are choosing sides, my beloved Alphys!  We must make sure to be on the _right_ one.  It’s like a game show, writ large!”  
  
“Ch-choosing sides?”  
  
“Undyne versus the Queen of the Ruins!  Dramatic, yes?  Which side shall we choose?”  
  
Alphys wanted to disappear.  “Well… Undyne’s side.  She’s… one of my best friends… and besides.”  Her face went red.  “I think it might be because of me that people are taking sides to begin with?”  
  
Mettaton looked surprised and scooted his chair over to the giant pillows, each bearing his face with a different expression.  “Oh, really?  Do tell!”  
  
“Yes, I, uh… well, I kind of… told her that the new queen is asking me a lot of questions… that I don’t really want to be asked.  And she, uh… she said she’d make sure the queen never gets any power.”  
  
Mettaton grinned and laughed.  “Well done!  Oh, Alphys, you still do surprise me sometimes.  Think of it—reclusive little Doctor Alphys, making a power play!  Setting things into motion!”  He spilled backwards from his chair into the pillows and laughed some more.  “Undyne’s claim is based on the premise that the Queen of the Ruins is an impostor.  But as with most things, my yellow friend, I believe this one is a matter of appearances.”  
  
“Appearances?”  
  
“There’s probably no telling either way!  So it’s not whether she really is an impostor that matters… it’s whether the people _think_ she is.”  
  
Alphys gulped.  “Oh, uh.  She’s, uh, definitely not an impostor.  She’s the real queen!”  
  
The robot peered up ominously from his pile of pillows.  “Oh?  How do you know?”  
  
“I, uh, have a VHS tape?  With her voice on it?  And she makes the exact same sort of, uh, food-and-mother-related pun on it that she made to me in person.”  
  
Mettaton frowned.  “Well, you’ll have to destroy that tape, darling.”  
  
Alphys gasped.  “Um!  But… what if we need to prove the truth someday?”  
  
He sat in thought for a few moments.  “Quite right!  Brilliant thinking, Doctor.  We may need it someday to blackmail Undyne, in case she turns against us after assuming power.  Hide the tape well, but leave it intact!”  
  
This all seemed awfully clandestine.  “So you actually think we should go along with Undyne?  E-even though Toriel is the real queen?”  
  
“Well, if you don’t want your career, your reputation, and for that matter quite possibly your freedom to go up in smoke…”  He blew on his fingers as if dispersing something to the wind.  “…then I think we’d better!  It’s perfect, Alphys.  This way, we get to play it both ways!”  
  
Alphys huddled on the floor in doubt.  
  
Mettaton stood up.  “What’s coming isn’t pretty, my friend.  But the two of us—we have an edge!  You happen to be friends with one of the two claimants!  Indeed, if your shelf of secret shipfics is any indication, you may even be more than friends.”  
  
Alphys hadn’t known she could blush this hard.  “She doesn’t like me like I like her…”  
  
“Well, no one can crush quite like you, darling.  Even so!  Undyne likes you enough to be merciful, and as you and I are like peas in a pod…”  His arm fell gently around her shoulders.  “…it would be downright indecent of her not to be merciful to me, too!”  
  
Alphys started to feel hopeful again.  “Yeah… I guess that’s true…”  
  
“And if there is to be war, both of us will be invaluable assets.  You can provide weapons, and I can give her a ratings boost, so to speak.  We’ll be sure to win!  And once we do?  How could she do anything but forgive us for our crimes?  Why, I’ve almost forgotten what those crimes are, just talking about it!”  
  
“T-treason,” stuttered Alphys.  
  
“Treason!  Well, Undyne can hardly accuse us of that without calling the kettle black, can she?  Not after she overthrows the rightful ruler.  Alphys, I think our course is plain!  Somehow, things are so much clearer when I have you to talk to.  How do you do it?”  
  
He lifted her up over his head.  Was he kissing her?  Yes!  That was a kiss on the lips!  Alphys hyperventilated and tried to decide whether to kiss back.  But before she could make up her mind, he’d set her down on the floor again.  
  
“Thank you so much for coming over, Alphys.  I think this has been a very productive meeting of the Human Fanclub.”  
  
She tried to calm down.  “I’m… glad you think so?”  
  
He went and lay down on the chaise lounge.  “Do we have any more business to discuss?”  
  
Alphys’s mind raced.  She wanted to leave, but she’d come there for company, and somehow it felt like she’d only gotten… conspiracy.  “I… guess I did have one question for you.”  
  
“Yes, doctor?  Anything.”  
  
Alphys stood forward.  “Did… you really think you could cross through the barrier and… just, become a star in the human world?  Just like that?  Without even any agents, or… or anything?”  
  
Mettaton frowned.  “Well, I knew it would be a challenge, but when have I ever shied away from one of those?  I still fully intend to entertain the surface world someday.  Perhaps, when the barrier finally falls, I can be the icon to unite monsters and humans under one fabulously beautiful entertainment banner!”  
  
“You didn’t… think they might k-kill you?”  
  
He sat up.  “Now, Alphys.  Haven’t we discussed this often enough at our club meetings?  You and I both agree that just because the humans drove our race underground millennia ago, and despite the occasional bad apple that may drop into our realm, doesn’t mean the entire human race is bereft of decency!”  
  
She nodded.  She knew that any creatures who made such amazing and uplifting cartoons and comics couldn’t be all bad.  “They’ve probably changed a lot since the War of Humans and Monsters!”  
  
“Exactly.  And besides…”  Mettaton grinned his most adorable, coyest grin.  “What creature, man or monster, could possibly hurt a face like this?”  
  
Alphys grinned.  He had a point.  
  
“So there we are.  Someday, Alphys.  Someday.”  
  
She had to admit the thought of Mettaton as a superstar on the surface appealed to her.  Maybe if she couldn’t have her happy ending, he could at least get his.  “I hope you get to see the surface someday, Mettaton.  I know they’ll love you up there.”  
  
“Thank you for having faith in me, dear friend.”   Standing, he strode to the desk and picked up the gavel.  “Is there any other business?”  
  
Alphys shook her head.  
  
It sounded on the table.  “Then I declare this meeting of the Human Fanclub adjourned!  I trust you can find your own way out, beloved?”  
  
“Yes… but maybe you could make the stairs just be n-n-normal on the way out?”  
  
He sighed and pushed a button.  “Ordinary, mundane stairs it is.  Anything for you, Alphys.  And remember—hide the tape; remove the cameras; deny all knowledge; support Undyne.  I trust that we’re on the same page?”  
  
Alphys nodded several times.  “We’re on the same page.”  Even if she didn’t care much for the book.  
  
Mettaton walked to the door and kicked it open again with a slam.  Somehow, it opened outward both ways.  Maybe when Undyne was queen, Alphys should offer to install a door like that for her.  
  
She timidly waved goodbye and worked her way down the stairs, retrieving her disguise and putting it on again before she exited back into the Burger Emporium.  All the while, she was worrying about the plan they’d decided on.  Well, that Mettaton had decided on, really.  Would Undyne really be as merciful as he thought?  Would the change of power really be that easy?  Would she even be _willing_ to blackmail Undyne, if it came to that?  
  
It was lucky that Alphys had friends with ambition, like Mettaton and Undyne, so that she didn’t have to have any of her own.  Alphys loved learning new things and creating new machines, along reading and watching TV, but she didn’t really have any ambitions past that.  
  
And yet, as she trudged home incognito, she suffered a funny little twinge of disappointment.  Now that she was going to help overthrow Queen Toriel, did that mean she’d never get her giant, quiet sleepover?  
  
A sound emitted from her pocket: “Bee-da-doop!”  
  
She pulled out her phone and read the text message.  It was from Undyne.  Undyne rarely texted; she preferred to yell over the phone, arguing that capital letters didn’t fully convey the complexity of all her different levels of volume.  So this had to be something special.  
  
“hey Alphy, u wanna help me be [queen]?”  
  
The word ‘queen’ was represented by a queen bee emoji with a tiny crown.  Undyne’s huge, grinning buddy icon sat beside the message, as if goading her on.  Alphys shut her mouth tight into a nervous wiggle of uncertainty.  
  
Another text followed.  “i need ur help 2 prove toriel is impostr”  
  
And another.  “u can be my chief advisr whaddya say?”  
  
Alphys sighed and daydreamed for one indulgent moment of a kingdom-wide, peaceful sleepover run by Queen Toriel.  It was too cute for words.  
  
Then she hit Reply and typed:  
  
“kk sounds good.”  
  
Well, in the real world, you couldn’t have everything, right?  


[***********]


	12. The Line Is Drawn

**Scene 12: The Line Is Drawn**  
or  
“Necessary Tension”  


* * *

  
  
Toriel grappled with the urge to lighten the mood.  She despised the kind of tension that now filled the throne room; her every instinct told her to leaven it with a kind word, or a joke, or slices of pie all around.  But there were times in life (and they were thankfully rare) when lightness was not appropriate.  Toriel was about to live through one of those times, and she had to admit that there was dread in her heart.  Yet it had to be done.  For better or worse, there would still be pie afterward, if it was needed.  In the end, there would always be pie.  
  
Muffet stood to her left, arms crossed over arms.  She tapped a foot lightly, fidgeting.  To the right stood the Dogi, also watching the doors, but  intermittently peeking at each other in exact unison.  Their halberds were at the ready.  Against the wall were Royal Guards 01 and 02, also prepared for action.  
  
Crash, went the distant elevator.  Tromp, tromp, tromp, came the footsteps through the hallway.  Every monster in the room tensed.  Toriel rose slowly to her feet.  
  
A final step echoed just behind the doors, which had been rehung on their hinges.  The blow that followed left both doors mangled.  No one bothered to announce Undyne, Captain of the Guard, nor any of the figures arrayed behind her.  Knight Knight.  Madjick.  Astigmatism.  And others, all clad in armor or uniform and standing proudly behind their blue-scaled leader in black.  
  
“Captain Undyne.  You were good enough to answer my summons,” said Toriel.  
  
“I came because I wanted to,” said Undyne.  
  
Toriel was unsure how to reply to this.  Should she patiently explain that while she appreciated Undyne wanting to see her, orders were not optional while in her employ?  That would be foolish and naive, she knew.  Yet the foolish and naive approach was often correct; it was the natural way to extend the benefit of the doubt.  
  
But was there any doubt here?  Was there even the appearance of doubt?  
  
“I have been speaking to Miss Muffet,” said Toriel, indicating the spider who stood smiling scornfully.  “She informs me that you have been mustering support against me.”  
  
Undyne clenched her teeth, then nodded.  “I’ve completed my investigation.  My initial instincts were right!  You are not the queen you say you are.”  
  
Toriel felt her ears pressing tight against her skull.  “And may I ask how you arrived at that conclusion?”  
  
“I asked people.  I sent guards to ask people.  That ghost friend of yours?  Their story doesn’t jibe with Shyren’s, or yours, for that matter!”  She pointed a spear toward Muffet, glaring daggers.  “And I talked to Gerson, a friend I’ve known for a long time, so I know he wouldn’t lie.  He actually _knew_ the old queen, and he said _you’re_ not her!”  
  
Now this was just too much.  Toriel remembered Gerson—a spark in her was delighted to hear he was still among the living after all this time.  “How could he possibly come to that conclusion without speaking with me?” she demanded.  
  
“Eh, I described you.  He said you looked totally different.  And even that skeleton sentry—my people said he didn’t know a thing about you!”  
  
Sans, bless his soul, picked that moment to gracefully sidle out from behind the throne, revealing himself.  Toriel did not look back at his face, but his voice suggested a dark expression indeed.  “didn’t know a thing about her, huh?  you sure you wanna go with that?”  
  
Undyne scowled in surprise.  Toriel was satisfied to see that she had not expected the skeleton sentry to be in her company.  “You!  What are you doing here?”  
  
“keeping the queen company.  what’re you doing to help things?”  
  
“Yes,” tittered Muffet.  “I would very much like to know the same thing!”  
  
Undyne cast baleful looks at them all.  The gathered forces behind her seethed, ready for action.  Toriel’s impression was that they had not expected to find her so well guarded.  She mentally calculated how it would go if a battle were to break out.  Undyne’s troop outnumbered them two to one… not counting the spiders hiding in the eaves.  But Sans… Toriel had the sense that he was capable of causing quite a lot of mayhem if a situation called for it.  It was possible that Undyne knew that, too.  
  
“I’m trying to save your sorry butts from this IMPOSTOR!” she finally yelled.  
  
“And how do you know she’s an impostor, again?” jeered Dogaressa.  “Because of the interviews you had me and my husband conduct?”  
  
“Their stories matched up perfectly!” shouted Dogamy.  
  
“POCKEY!” yelled Undyne.  “She’s paid you off!  She thinks she can buy the kingdom because she’s rich!  But _some_ monsters have too much HEART to be bought!”  She tipped her head back toward her loyal followers.  
  
Toriel made her best effort to stay calm.  “Captain.  As it happens, I know the truth about whether or not I have paid off certain individuals.  And as it happens, I have not.  Therefore, I can only conclude that you are telling deliberate falsehoods, and that your allegiance is therefore not to the throne.”  
  
“Hear hear!” said Muffet, and an excited, high-pitched rustle sounded from above.  
  
“I am therefore terminating your employment with the crown,” continued Toriel, “and appointing Dogaressa and Dogamy the new joint Captains of the Guard.”  
  
Ferocity sparked in that yellow eye.  “YOU CAN’T FIRE ME!” roared Undyne, pounding the hilt of her spear into the floor.  “I QUIT!”  
  
“I believe she just did fire you, sweetie,” said Muffet with fake concern.  “You’ll have to be a little faster on the draw next time!”  
  
“I quit so fast it happened before her firing reached me!” retorted Undyne.  “And I quit so hard it’ll destroy this whole travesty of a regime!  You’ll see!  We’ll be back!”  
  
“I suppose I am forced to consider you an enemy of the crown, then,” said Toriel.  “I am disappointed, Undyne.  I had hoped that we could get along.”  
  
“Well, maybe if you’d been a little less nosy about things, we could have!”  
  
“Nosy?  How was I nosy?”  
  
“Bugging your royal s—just, general, nosy stuff!  You’re not entitled to all the answers!  Anyway, you’re not the real queen, so we’re gonna claim this castle and start our own reign.”  
  
“Do you really believe that the monsters will line up behind you?”  
  
Undyne’s smile was discomfiting.  “Oh, they’ll be behind me.  You’ll see!  Soon they’ll all know the truth about you!”  
  
It suddenly seemed utterly quaint to Toriel that she had been considering disbanding the royal guard.  In a way, her instinct had been correct: the guard had proven more dangerous than anything it might supposedly have been guarding against.  But it was now clear that she could not have _succeeded_ in disbanding them.  Not without building a good deal of trust first, at least.  
  
“I suppose we will, indeed, see what happens,” she declared.  A less controversial statement could hardly have been composed.  
  
Undyne spun around and raised her spear.  “Reverse formation!  March out!” she ordered her troop.  “Hup, two, hup, two, hup, two…”  
  
“see ya,” said Sans.  
  
Soon they were gone.  None of them said a word until the sound of the elevator, large enough to accommodate them all, receded into inaudibility.  
  
“That woman has quite the nerve,” said Muffet.  
  
“She does, does she not?  She would have been such a valuable captain…” Toriel reflected.  
  
“maybe,” said Sans.  Even with the throng gone, he remained behind her, facing the broken doors as if still locked in a showdown.  
  
Dogamy and Dogaressa touched noses, then turned as one to Toriel, saluting.  “Well, we’re honored to serve as your new captains!” said Dogamy.  “Thanks for throwing us a bone!”  
  
“Do you have any orders for us?” asked Dogaressa.  
  
Toriel stood in thought.  “I could have the remaining guards reinforce the castle, could I not?  Extra security at the door, perhaps a moat or drawbridge?”  
  
The Dogi nodded with a sharp *woof!*  
  
She imagined the coming conflict as it were a dream—someone else’s problem.  The siege, the battle, the damage dealt and lives lost.  
  
“We could spin webs for you,” Muffet added.  “Brilliant, innovative webs, so amazing that they would dazzle the senses!”  
  
“And yet,” reasoned Toriel slowly, “what would be the point of that?  Defending ourselves from the will of the people?  We _are_ the will of the people.  If we are not that, then we are nothing.”  
  
There was silence.  “not sure we all follow,” said Sans.  
  
If the monsters of the Underground really did side with Undyne, then there was no sense in Toriel’s remaining queen.  This thought lay heavily upon her, like a stifling blanket in hot weather, but she knew that it was right.  “If they return with a horde of angry monsters, I shall not fight,” she declared.  “I will surrender myself to their mercy.”  
  
“Oh, but darling!” cried Muffet.  
  
“But!” Toriel went on.  “I will not simply let them spread their lies all through the Underground.  We shall spread the word that our erstwhile captain of the guard has been dishonest.  That she has spread lies about me.  Those who know me shall stand up for me and for the truth.  And in… let us say, three days time… I shall address the Kingdom of Monsters.  I shall make a public speech about my husband, myself, and my intentions as Queen.”  She began to pace the room.  “I shall admit to the loss of the souls, but tell the monsters that all is not lost—the souls may be found, or another plan hatched.  Perhaps there is still some way to break the barrier, if we all put our minds together.”  She now walked the perimeter of Asgore’s garden in earnest.  “I shall tell them that from now on, any humans who fall into the Underground shall be treated as friends, not as _resources_ to be harvested.  And yes… I will tell them that in time, I intend to disband the Royal Guard.  A well run civilization does _not_ need protection from itself.”  She looked sharply to the Dogi.  “Does anyone have an objection to this?”  
  
The two saluted promptly.  “No, ma’am.”  Toriel saw the armored guards by the wall salute as well.  She smiled.  
  
“Having said all of this, if the monsters still wish to depose me… then they shall have their way,” Toriel concluded.  
  
She felt a cool touch on her side.  Sans was there.  “hey.  toriel.”  
  
“Yes, my friend?”  
  
“you’re a good person.  just want to let you know.”  
  
She felt a surprising amount of warmth, hearing that.  Her eyes became moist.  “Thank you, Sans.”  
  
“He’s right, dearie.  My brood and I will follow you to the end,” said Muffet.  
  
“We will serve you with our lives, if it comes to it,” said Dogamy.  
  
“If there’s one thing I can’t abide,” added Dogaressa, “it’s liars.  But your scent is true.”  
  
“Like, what we said about following Undyne’s orders?” put in Royal Guard 01.  “Forget about it.”  
  
“…Loyal to you,” said 02.  
  
Toriel broke down and wept.  She sat in her throne and leaned forward, and she wept.  She remembered Asgore, whose presence still lingered here, in these flowers, in this room, and she wondered whether, perhaps… just perhaps, she had been a bit too hard on him.  This job was not easy.  For her, it had barely begun, yet she would much rather be at home, raising children, or even dreaming about having children to raise.  Would Asgore, perhaps, have found things easier if she had stayed in his presence—resisting, yes; angry, yes; but present—for all the years he had been alone?  
  
She sat alone, her face in her hands.  In time, she heard the sounds of movement and voices around her.  The ruined doors again being replaced.  Plans being laid for a public address, posters and fliers designed and proclamations written.  She knew she should be helping, but for now her soul was elsewhere.  
  
It was with Asgore.  For perhaps the last time, she was with Asgore.  And she did not want to let go.  
  
Finally, she rose from her thoughts and allowed herself to rejoin the world.   When she wiped her eyes, she found herself covered in cool gray tears.  Napstablook was beside her.  Someone had sent for them; Toriel was grateful.  
  
“ohhh…. i hope i didn’t distract you… i saw you were having a nice cry… i just thought i’d join you.  i didn’t want to mess it up… in case you were going for a world record or something…”  
  
Toriel laughed through her lingering sorrow.  She reached out to hug the ghost, not caring a whit about how her arms passed clear through.  “It was very soothing,” she said.  “Thank you so much.”  
  
“ohh… sorry… i don’t really know how to take compliments… i’ve never been really good at it… but thanks, i guess.”  
  
Toriel drew a deep breath.  She watched her loyal subjects going about their work.  Trying to protect her honor.  Trying to serve the cause that was right.  
  
“Nosy,” she repeated idly to herself.  “Why did she claim I was nosy?  What does that have to do with whether I am the rightful ruler?”  
  
“beats me,” said Sans, who apparently had been standing beside her.  Well, of course he was beside her—he would hardly have been working, would he?  “maybe you should ask yourself… ‘who have i been asking questions?’”  
  
Somehow, anything Sans said had a certain profundity.  It was hard to believe she had been friends for so long with someone so profound, yet had somehow not realized he was good for anything but jokes.  “Well, there was that dinner with the royal scientist,” she recalled.  
  
“you mean undyne’s girlfriend?”  
  
Toriel blinked.  “Girlfriend?”  
  
Sans shrugged.  “they seem pretty close.”  
  
The bustle continued.  A drill sounded as the armored guards struggled to mount new doors on the hinges.  The spiders chittered excitedly about dividing the underground into regions they could canvass.  Napstablook was mixing beats for the introduction to her royal address.  The dogs discussed making flags with her personal rune and scent.  And all the while, enthusiastic Pyropses came up from the kitchen, delivering sustenance.  The castle was alive.  
  
Toriel pulled out her cell phone, old and worn.  “Sans?  Would you happen to have, by any chance, the phone number for the royal scientist?”  
  
Sans grinned.  “sure.  it’s eighty-four.”  
  
Toriel frowned.  “Just eighty-four?  Eight-four?”  
  
“yup.  that’s the number of episodes in her favorite tv show.”  
  
Toriel grinned and chuckled.  “And how, exactly, do you know that?”  
  
Sans leaned on the throne’s armrest and shrugged.  “what can i say?  i know everyone.”  
  
Toriel smiled as she entered the two digits into her contact list.  To know everyone.  Was there any more noble goal?  Perhaps, if she _was_ able to serve as queen, the day would come when she would be able to claim the same.

[++++++++++++]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The monster kid wanted to be at this confrontation, but Undyne wouldn't let him. She knew his parents would kill her.


	13. On Truthfulness

**Scene 13: On Truthfulness**  
or  
“Wrong Enemy !?”   
  


* * *

  
**ENTRY NUMBER 1**  
*  Okay!  I’ve been assigned the task of finding a way to detect residual souls, if there are any, in a given location.  
* In particular, we’re looking for human souls.  They’re known to persist after death.  
* Besides which, finding monster souls wouldn’t do much good, since we need the strength of human souls to break the barrier.  Then again, maybe if I did somehow find persistent monster souls, it would be another happy accident?  
* I don’t know if I can stand another happy accident.  
* Trying not to think about who assigned me this task and how weird it is to be working on something for a person I’ve decided to betray.  
* But that’s science for you!  
  
Alphys finished up writing at the upstairs desk and returned to her brainstorming session downstairs at the computer.  She found it loosened up her mind to keep moving like this.  In a way, the early part of any new project was the easiest, since it just involved reading, brainstorming, and connecting up ideas.  But it was also the part when it was most important to keep moving, or she could easily get stuck.  
  
The title theme from _Ningyo no jōnetsu_ started to play, and Alphys jerked and sped over to her phone in a panic.  It was probably Undyne.  She looked at the screen.  
  
Caller: TORIEL.  
  
Alphys swallowed and stared at her phone.  
  
Sequences of events that could result from answering or not answering the phone raced through her mind.  This kind of dilemma was one she hated: the kind where she had limited time to decide.  Um, um!  Maybe she should leave it be, and then choose to call back later if she decided it was right to talk?  She could always say she’d been busy working.  
  
In the time it took her to reason this far, the phone stopped ringing.  Alphys felt a crumb of relief and ten pounds of doubt.  She stared, wondering whether she should call back.  What would she say to Toriel?  _Work on the soul detector is still in the brainstorming phase, but I’m still optimistic—haha!_  
  
The music began to play again.  Caller: TORIEL.  Alphys’s skin began to crawl.  
  
She picked up the phone.  She moved her finger to the TALK button.  She took a shallow breath.  Her claw pushed down.  
  
“H-hello?”  
  
“Hello!”  Toriel’s voice on the other end seemed delightfully surprised to have gotten through.  “Am I speaking to Dr. Alphys?”  
  
Of course she was—she’d called this same number before, hadn’t she?  “That’s me!  It’s g-good to hear from you, your majesty.”  
  
“Is it?  I am glad to hear that.”  
  
“Y-yes, well… I mean—”  
  
“Doctor, I confess that I feel somewhat awkward discussing this over the phone.  Yet I believe we have some important matters to discuss.  Would you be willing to meet again in person?”  
  
It was the same dilemma as before, only sharper and more sudden.  Alphys was very uneasy with the idea of an in-person meeting; she _preferred_ the distance of the phone.  “Um…”  
  
“After all, it is only an elevator ride away, is it not?”  
  
“It… it is.”  Not for the first time, Alphys wished she hadn’t installed direct access to the castle.  Gaster had preferred to keep his distance—more and more, she was coming to understand why.  
  
“Then it is not too undue a burden?”  
  
There were things she could say.  She had an experiment running and needed to attend to it.  She was in the zone, theory-wise, and didn’t want to arrest her momentum.  She had to attend to her patients—which was true, fairly soon.  But then, why she had answered the phone?  Alphys didn’t… she didn’t like…  
  
Well, she didn’t like lying.  “No… it’s not too terrible a burden.  I can be there in a few minutes.”  
  
“Excellent!  In that case, I shall await you in the throne room.”  
  
“S-sure.  See you soon, your, uh.  Majesty.”  
  
“Yes.  We will see each other soon.”  
  
Sigh.  Troubled sigh.  Deep sigh.  Should she call Undyne?  Undyne had come over yesterday and they’d talked a while.  Alphys had agreed to be her chief adviser, even to be ‘co-queens,’ as Undyne had put it, in all but name.  She’d told Undyne that Mettaton was on board and would be using his show to sway the hearts of the populace.  They’d started to make plans for how things would change, but Alphys hadn’t been able to really get excited about it.  She couldn’t tell Undyne about the amalgamates.  She couldn’t tell her about the videotape.  She hated keeping secrets from Undyne, a pure woman of action who deserved to know all the facts.  She was a warrior, not a creature of intrigue!  Alphys wasn’t that good at intrigue either, really, but it seemed to come to her anyway, and she was used to it by now.  
  
Undyne was planning to march on the castle as soon as she could gather an army.  She’d asked Alphys if she could develop weapons for her.  Well, Alphys already had weapons, as it turned out.  Her predecessor, Gaster, had created them.  Alphys had found them scary and hadn’t understood his preoccupation with making them, but she’d assumed they’d been meant for the eventual war with humans once they escaped the Underground.  Now, she wasn’t so sure.  
  
They hadn’t discussed what to do about Toriel in the meantime except for two words: “Stall her.”  And Alphys could do that.  Sometimes it felt like she’d been doing nothing else ever since that terrible day in the lab, the day some of the amalgamates called the Day of Togetherness.  
  
She didn’t call Undyne.  She put a memo pad in her pocket and made a quick entry in her journal—”Off to visit with the queen!”  Just in case this was a trap and she never came back.  Then she took the elevator to the castle.

* * *

Things were kind of busy when she arrived.  A parade of spiders carrying a stack of papers with Toriel’s picture on them passed right in front of her.  The sound of carpentry was going on, and there was someone singing softly somewhere in the background.  As she walked the hallway, an excited little dog appeared before her, and before she could react, it jumped and licked her face!  “Whoa—whoa!  D-down—down, doggie!  Please!”  
  
It only left her alone once she’d pet about sixty percent of its body surface.  She was actually relieved by the time she got to the throne room and found Toriel standing at a work table, accompanied by a short skeleton and a blue bunny man wearing suspenders.  
  
“But do you think that would be nice enough?” Toriel was asking the bunny man.  
  
“I think every part of the speech needs a nice part!  That way, the rest won’t feel so lumpy.”  
  
Toriel nodded thoughtfully.  “That makes a surprising amount of sense.  Perhaps I should open with the material concerning—”  
  
The skeleton suddenly turned around.  “hey guys.  we’ve got company.”  
  
She recognized him.  He was that skeleton she’d seen on the cameras the day the human came through, the first monster to greet them.  And she remembered him from somewhere else beside.  This was Papyrus’s brother.  Which… she supposed, might make him Gaster’s other grandson?  Suddenly, she wondered how he was coping.  But Toriel, too, turned to face her, and Alphys raised a hand in greeting.  “Uh, hi, your majesty.”  
  
Toriel smiled beatifically.  “Thank you for coming, doctor.  Will you join me in private?”  
  
Alphys nodded.  She wondered whether the matriarch might be hiding a shiv or something, ready to stab her once they were out of sight, but couldn’t bring herself to consider it for more than a couple seconds.  “Hi there,” she said to the skeleton.  “I—I think we might have met once or twice, a while ago.”  
  
The skeleton’s grin was unsettlingly constant, as was the way he stuck his hands in his pockets.  “yeah.  i sold you a hot cat once.  you thought it was spicy.”  
  
Oh!  That seemed… really vaguely familiar?  “I don’t really remember that, but… I knew your brother.”  
  
The white pupils in the skeleton’s eyes shrank.  “yeah.”  
  
Alphys hunched forward, feeling small.  “I’m sorry.”  
  
He leaned just a little, if it wasn’t her imagination.  “yeah?”  
  
“Um… y-yes.”  Did he think she meant she was taking the blame?  That wasn’t what she meant!  Would it even make sense to blame her?  She’d had no idea the human was dangerous until they’d fought Papyrus—was she supposed to have rushed out and told the guard the moment they’d shown up on her cameras?  She swallowed—maybe that was what a responsible citizen would have done.  
  
“And I… I’m not sure, but I think I might have… worked for your grandfather?”  
  
The tiny pupils disappeared altogether.  “yeah,” repeated the skeleton, not breaking his empty stare.  
  
Before things could develop between them, Toriel took Alphys’s hand in her own giant one—it felt strangely comforting—and led her out the door.  They started down a stone staircase.  “As you can see, we are busy preparing for an upcoming royal address!  I am planning to speak the morning after tomorrow to the population as a whole.”  
  
Alphys did her best to keep up with the boss monster’s formidable stride.  “That must be exciting!”  
  
“It is very exciting!  I have not made a speech in so many years, I have nearly forgotten how to do it.  But it is coming back to me, piece by piece!”  
  
Alphys imagined standing up in public, in front of thousands of monsters, and making a speech.  It almost gave her vertigo—she was glad Toriel had her hand.  “I could never make a speech… I’d be mortified.  I think you’re v-very brave.”  
  
Toriel smiled down at her.  “It is really not much different from speaking to a single person, except that they do not respond immediately and you must carry on the conversation by yourself.”  
  
Alphys smiled nervously.  “I d-don’t think I’d like talking to ten thousand people one-on-one much, either.”  
  
The reached the bottom of the staircase and started along a familiar gray hallway.  
  
“I have to admit, I am a bit uneasy,” said Toriel.  “It does not bother me speaking to a crowd.  It is just that… I am afraid that this crowd may not be a friendly one.”  
  
“Oh?  Wh-why would that be?”  
  
Toriel was silent a while.  She led Alphys into the room she’d been afraid they were headed for—the room with all the coffins, in the basement.  Seven of them, all in a line, all with names on the front.  She swallowed.  
  
“I hope you do not mind talking with me in here,” said Toriel.  “It is very quiet and peaceful, and the castle is noisy at present.”  
  
Alphys gulped.  “It’s fine.”  
  
Toriel released her hand.  “I have been coming here to think, now and then.  I have thought often about this room, over the years I was away.  Do you know what is inside of the boxes?”  
  
Alphys wanted to whimper.  “…Remains?”  
  
“That is correct.  The remains of the six human children are kept here.  Unlike ourselves, humans do not turn to dust when they die.  They are slowly reclaimed by the environment—but I am probably telling you what you already know.”  
  
“Y-y-yes.  I’ve… been here before.”  
  
“Oh.  I see!  Well then, you are aware that by keeping these children in boxes and wrappings, my husband did not allow the environment to reclaim them.  He wanted them to remain as they were… as if they were still alive.”  
  
Where was she going with this?  “I guess he wanted to remember them.”  
  
“Yes.”  She stood still and regarded the row of boxes.  “I have come to suspect that he regarded this room as a penance.  It is not meant to honor the departed children whose souls he claimed.  It was meant to punish him.  To force him to remember what he had done, and never to wash it away.”  
  
Alphys had no words.  
  
“But now he is washed away,” said the queen.  
  
“I’m sorry,” said Alphys.  This time, she meant it deeply.  
  
Toriel turned to her after a while.  “Oh the phone, doctor, and again upstairs, you called me ‘Your majesty.’”  
  
Had she?  “Oh, uh… yes?”  
  
The boss monster ventured a tiny smile.  “Does that mean that you are now convinced I am in fact who I claim to be?”  
  
Alphys trembled.  Well, if she was going for betrayal, she might as well go all in.  “As a matter of fact, um… yes!  After I thought about it a while, I realized that you _must_ be Asgore’s wife, because I… I remember him talking about how much she loved puns.  He told me a couple, the way he s-said you would.  And at dinner, I remembered you making that pun about umami, and…”  She felt herself blushing.  
  
“And now you realize that I am truthful,” said Toriel.  
  
Alphys did.  She really, really did.  It made her feel like she was melting away at the edges, to be in the presence of someone so truthful, and herself so false.  “Yes.”  
  
“Tell me, doctor.  Are you aware of what has transpired between me and Undyne?”  
  
She swallowed.  She fidgeted.  “Yes… she… told me about it.”  
  
“I have dismissed her from the guard.  She has promised to overthrow me.  I do not know what fate she intends for me.”  
  
“Pr-probably exile?”  Undyne had implied as much to Alphys, in passing.  
  
“Perhaps.  Or perhaps death.”  She looked impassively at the row of coffins, perfectly straight in her purple robe, in stark contrast to Alphys’s hunched posture and wrinkled lab coat.  
  
“Death?  N-no, I don’t… I don’t think…”  
  
“To someone like her… I believe that someone like me is something to be gotten rid of.  I do not think she will be content until she has gotten rid of me entirely.”  
  
It was hard to breathe.  “No!  I-I-I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to kill you.  To her, you’re just an impostor.  It’s not like… it’s not like you killed anyone.”  Not like she let happen.  Oh, god.  Did Alphys deserve to be put to death?  She hadn’t thought of it that way before, but did… did she deserve to be executed?  Was that was she was trying to escape?  
  
“You put such store in her instincts,” said Toriel, turning to look down at her.  “And yet, you now admit that they were wrong about me?”  
  
Alphys forced herself to make eye contact.  “Y-yes.  Undyne was wrong.  And I was wrong to trust her.”  
  
Toriel smiled shyly.  “Does that mean that you are ready to tell me the secret of state you could not tell me before?”  
  
Alphys’s jaw closed.  She shook her head.  “I’m sorry.”  
  
“If you are convinced I am the real queen, why are you still unable to tell me your secret?”  
  
“I… I’m sorry, your majesty.  I just can’t.”  
  
Sadness.  In those eyes.  It was like claws raking across Alphys’s back.  “In that case, I shall not ask again.”  
  
Swallow.  Breathe.  “All right.  Thank—thank you for your understanding, your majesty.”  
  
“It is all right.  The families of your patients will simply have to be patient a bit longer.  That is not why I invited you here, in any case.”  
  
“N-no?”  The soul detector, then?  
  
“Doctor.  Please be honest with me.”  
  
Alphys wanted to be able to.  She direly wanted it.  “Yes?”  
  
“When we met before and shared a meal… did you feel that I… overstepped the bounds of propriety in the course of asking you questions?  In short, do you feel that I was… nosy?  I would not want to be an overly nosy monarch.”  
  
How was she supposed to answer a question like that?  “Um… no… no, your majesty.  You were only asking what you had to ask.  Trying to, erm—get to know me.”  
  
The great floppy ears flipped happily in place.  “Yes!  That is how I saw it.  I was getting to know you, and coming to understand the state of your projects.  There is nothing unreasonable in that, is there?”  
  
“No, ma’am.”  
  
“And when I confronted you about the letters I had received, I was only pursuing the interests of my citizens, who wanted to know the state of their loved ones.  That is not unreasonable, is it?”  
  
Of course it wasn’t.  Of _course_ it wasn’t.  “No, ma’am!”  
  
“Then I was not nosy?  I only ask because of something curious that Undyne said to me during our confrontation yesterday.”  
  
“Oh?  Wh-what was that?”  
  
Toriel took a deep breath.  “She said that if I had not been so nosy about things, perhaps we could have been friends, and not enemies.  I am only wondering where I stepped astray.”  
  
Alphys held back the urge to cry.  “I… I think she was just upset about Asgore.  And Papyrus too, but especially Asgore… she feels like no one can replace him.”  
  
“And she feels, no doubt, that I let him down.”  She stared at the first coffin, the one nearest to the door.  “Which I did,” she admitted, her voice breaking for the first time.  “He let me down quite badly… but I turned around and returned the favor.  At that time when he most needed me… I left him.”  
  
“They, uh… they say that two wrongs don’t make a right,” contributed Alphys, who immediately felt like the biggest hypocrite ever.  _Neither do three wrongs, Alphys, or four, or five…_  
  
“Indeed.  And now I understand what that means.”  
  
“I’m sure the kingdom will forgive you,” said Alphys.  “If you can just… convince them of who you are.”  
  
“If you would testify on my behalf, Doctor, it would be a great boon.”  
  
Oh no.  What had she gotten herself into?  “Um… well, like I said, I don’t really go in much for public speaking…”  
  
“But you could write a letter, could you not?  To be read to the public, attesting that you believe I am the genuine queen?”  
  
 _Crud._   “Um… I guess I could, yes?”  
  
“Will you have it ready by the morning after next?  I would like to read it before my address, in order to allay any doubts.  As you are well known throughout the kingdom, I expect it will change a lot of hearts.”  
  
Would it really?  “I… yes, I’ll have your letter ready,” Alphys promised.  _No, you won’t.  You’re going to help overthrow this woman, not back her up.  You pathetic sludge._  
  
“Thank you so much, doctor.”  Toriel stooped and knelt, putting their eyes much nearer the same level.  “This means so much to me.  I had feared you, too, had turned against me.”  
  
Alphys couldn’t help twitching.  “Oh, no… Undyne may be my friend, but… I know she’s wrong about this…”  
  
“And you are a woman of principle.  I respect that a great deal.”  
  
 _That’s my line,_ Alphys wanted to say.  “Th-thanks.  Is, uh… is that all you wanted?”  
  
The queen sighed.  “Well, not exactly.  You see, Doctor, I was hoping that you could shed some light on the mystery before me.  If it was not you to whom I was nosy, then who was it?  What exactly was Undyne referring to when she accused me of nosiness?”  
  
 _It was me.  It was totally me._ “I—I wish I knew!”  
  
“You are certain that she was not defending your honor?  I could tell that I had upset you, Doctor, when you left our dinner, and I felt terrible about it.  And moreover, I am informed that you and the former captain are quite close.”  
  
 _Not as close as I’d like us to be,_ Alphys didn’t say.  “I—no, she wouldn’t do that for me.  What you have to understand, your majesty, is… Undyne is all about justice.  She wants right to prevail and wrong to… well, not prevail.  If she’s moving against you, it’s only because she really, truly thinks you’re a fraud.”  She shut her mouth and wondered how much of what she’d just said was true.  
  
Toriel thought it over.  She leaned forward—oh no, not another kiss!—and nuzzled Alphys’s nose, very gently, once left and once right.  Then she stood up.  Alphys was left with a sense of magic coolness on her nose.  
  
“In that case, I must simply do my best to make my case to the people.  I wish I understood what Undyne meant, but…”  She shrugged.  “If you are unable to help, I have no notion who could.  Thank you very much, doctor, for understanding… and for promising to write a letter of attestation.”  
  
“You’re welcome?”  
  
Toriel set her hands on the coffin nearest the door and closed her eyes.  Alphys snuck a look at the human names on the coffins: Ziggy, Emma, Biff, Celine…  She remembered them from when Asgore had brought her here, years before.  Then she remembered the children from the tapes and felt sadness mingling with helplessness in her gut.  
  
“Let me walk you out,” said Toriel, offering her hand.  
  
Alphys took it gratefully.  
  
They ascended the gray staircase and passed by the bustling throne room.  Toriel stooped to pet the excited dog when it came yipping up to her.  
  
As they reached the elevator, Alphys felt her emotions welling up, and she decided that she would let at least one of them out.  “Queen Toriel?”  
  
“Yes, Alphys?”  The monarch’s voice was soft and earnest.  
  
“I just, um.  I wanted you to know.  Your husband… he loved you to the end.  He never stopped loving you.  He didn’t, um, talk about you a lot, but… there were times I was around him, and he would stop and, um, stand in one place.. and, well… I knew he was thinking about you.”  
  
The queen listened, her eyes growing wide.  Then she shuddered and knelt, hugging Alphys lightly but deeply, her head on her shoulder.  Alphys was overwhelmed by the presence of the body all around her.  Sweet smelling and milky and strong… and terrifying.  She entirely forgot to hug back.  
  
Toriel rose to her feet again before uttering a word.  “Thank you, doctor,” she whispered.  Then she pushed the button for the elevator.  “For my part, I only wish I had been as true.”  
  
Alphys forced her jaw to work, because she was about to say something stupid again.  “Well… e-everyone makes mistakes.”  
  
The soft maroon eyes peered at her.  “I suppose that is true!” the queen replied.  
  
And that was the last thing she said before the elevator doors closed between them.

* * *

 **ENTRY NUMBER 3**  
* Back from my meeting with the queen.  It went okay.  She didn’t even ask about the project… which I guess is a good thing?  
* I know she had a human child, a long time ago, that she thought of as her own.  I mean, I think she thought of all the children as her own, but one more than any of the others?  
* I wonder if that human’s soul is still floating around, somewhere.  I know it’s been almost a thousand years, but… is there a limit for how long human souls can last?  Maybe they never disappear.  
* If so, the surface world must be filling up with souls.  How long before it runs out of room?  
* Maybe souls exist in a different place than everything else does.  Maybe space works differently there.  Maybe space isn’t a thing there at all.  
* …Gaster?  If you’re reading this… I miss you.

[*************]


	14. An Underground Divided

**Scene 14: An Underground Divided**  
_or_  
“Anticipation”

 

* * *

 

 **ENTRY NUMBER 4  
** * I did a quick review of the literature on the differences between monster and human souls. Just as I thought—there are a number of observed differences, but nothing that can’t be ascribed to DETERMINATION.  
* CAPS LOCK KEY IS ST  
* Okay, there we go. So, it’s quite possible that determination is the only difference between our souls and theirs.  
* That leaves me with two options—try to detect disembodied DT, or build a machine that can detect souls in general.  
* In the interest of science, both options are probably worth pursuing!

* * *

It was a busy day at Grillby’s, and the punk hamster was having a bad day. It wasn’t just full of monsters, he explained condescendingly. It was also full of tension.

“I don’t see the problem,” said the nervous rabbit man. “Don’t punks like tension?”

“Not more than the next guy. Not unless everything’s been overrun with fakistry and needs a shake-up.”

“…And this isn’t that kind of tension?”

“It’s counterculture tension. I’m afraid we’re gonna lose our character.’

The rabbit’s nose twitched. “But… don’t punks like counterculture?”

“Not if your culture’s great to begin with! Wake up, bunnyman! You’ve been living the high life.”

Before the rabbit could answer, there was a shout across the room: “…Hey lady! The jukebox don’t work!”

At the jukebox, the local newspaper editor paused, a gold piece in her hand. “It doesn’t? Shouldn’t there be a sign?”

The disembodied rabbit’s head on the table hopped in excitement. “Nope, ‘cause I’m always here to t-t-t-tell folks! Besides, you want music? We’ve got lots of singers here!”

“Yeah, except we’re all crap at it!” put in the duck at the bar.

There was general laughter, leaving the big-headed librarian frustrated.

“I heard,” said the carnivorous plant, “that if Undyne becomes queen, she’s going to FIX our jukebox!”

With the political floodgates open, a wave of moans and commentary filled the bar. “Here we go,” sighed the punk hamster.

“Undyne’s NEVER gonna be queen!” someone shouted.

“That look in your eye… you’re a person who doesn’t recognize true greatness, aren’t you? Who’s going to stand in her way?”

“At least she’s _trying_ to win the people over! Ruling with music is a mite better than ruling with fear.”

“Ruling with… What exactly do you think she’s doing? She’s trying to stage a coup against the true queen! She’s just using the whole ‘impostor’ thing as an excuse!”

“Thaaaaaat’s politics!”

The giant dog in armor stood up to quiet the room and restore order: “({(O)(O)(O)})”

“You tell ‘em, big guy!” barked Doggo.

“Say, where do you stand on this, Doggo?” asked the fish drinking saltinis at the bar.

“You kidding? Undyne’s my captain! I’m not moving an _inch_ from my position, and if anyone else tries to move, they’d better watch out, ‘cause I’ll see it happening!”

“What about you, Grillbz?”

The bartender stood erect. “.:.;,::.”

“He says he intends to just keep running the place, no matter who’s in charge at the capital,” the duck translated.

“Yeah, I kn-kn-knew he wouldn’t pick sides! Grillby’s a real d-d-d-diplomat.”

“That look in his eye… he’s someone who can’t afford to lose customers, can he?”

“Well,” said the newspaper editor, having gotten more than she bargained for with her attempt to get the jukebox working. “I guess for once there should be plenty of material for the newspaper.”

“Good thing, too, said the word search designer, “since we’ve lost one of our biggest puzzle contributors.”

The innkeeper raised her glass. “Things just won’t be the same around here without him.”

“Or stumbling into his puzzles everywhere you step,” said the muffled mouse.

“Hear, hear!” roared the carnivorous plant. “To Papyrus!”

“To Papyrus!” toasted the patrons of the bar. Grillby lifted his tumbler.

* * *

 **ENTRY NUMBER 5  
** * Traditionally, souls are known to contain three components: Love, Hope and Compassion. But normally, the only thing that can ‘detect’ a soul is a body! In that, if a body doesn’t have a soul, it falls to dust.  
* Some metaphysicists think that the body has its own cohesion mechanisms, and the body goes to dust when they fail, thus releasing the soul, which then falls to dust in turn.  
* I don’t think that makes sense, though. If that were true, then what is the soul for? And isn’t it an odd coincidence, then, that the soul disintegrates just like the body does? Does it have its own ‘cohesion mechanism’?  
* I think it’s much more likely that the body and soul depend on each other and need each other, like so many interdependent systems do. And if they get separated, everything falls apart.  
* I think most of us feel that way sometimes.

* * *

“Feeble. Feeble. FEEBLE!”

Ferdiblook stormed through the pathetic little house, rummaging through drawers and tossing their contents on the floor. They tried, futilely, to open the fridge, only to pass through it. Then, with a scowl, they floated inside and raided it for ghost sandwiches. Five minutes later, ghost sandwich wrappers littered the floor next to cable splitters, album liner notes and headphones of various shapes and sizes.

Such was the state of things when Napstablook floated in. The two ghosts froze and stared at each other for one supremely awkward moment.

“ohhhhhh…”

“Cousin!! What is the _meaning_ of this?! I come visiting to pay my best regards, and I find you away? What happened to familial respect? What happened to LOYALTY?”

“ohhh… hi, ferdi. it’s good to see you. i guess i didn’t know you were coming… you’ve been away for months..”

“Coming? Of _course_ I was coming! You’re my family, aren’t you? And I know how lonely you’ve been ever since our ungrateful, disloyal, brown-nosing star-chasing vainglorious cousin moved out! _Someone_ had to come and keep you company!"

“well… i guess that makes sense… only that was years ago. and you moved out before he did. and i’ve been alone ever since…”

“Details. Details. DETAILS! I’m back now! I went to visit our other cousin in the ruins… they’re a wreck! A veritable wreck!” The loud ghost waggled broadly in anger. “You think Shyren is shy? Eustablook could win MEDALS in shy! They’ve given up talking to ANYONE, EVER! And I didn’t want you, my beloved cousin, to suffer the same fate, what with a rampaging human rampaging around!”

“that’s so considerate… except the human’s been gone for over a week… and they didn’t really do much rampaging… actually, they hung out here and played thundersnail with me…”

Ferdiblook’s eyebrows bent sharply. “WHAAT!?” They rocked aggressively, knocking about the contents of the fridge with their base. “Napster, have you gone INSANE? That human is a MURDERER! And they’re _very rude_ , too! The _things_ they say!”

“i dunno… they didn’t really say much to me… but we talked about music a little, and we did some lying down… so there’s that…”

“You’ve gone _soft!_ SOFT! I want an apology!”

The straighter ghost sagged. “i’m sorry. i guess i didn’t know what i was doing…”

“That’s more like it. That human tried to kill me! It hit me so many times I couldn’t _bear_ to stay in that dummy! It took my body from me! It took my dreams!”

“…i was thinking of asking what happened to your body, but then i thought, no, i don’t have to, they’ll probably tell me if they feel comfortable talking about it…”

“Well, I _still_ want a body. But I’m through with training dummies. THROUGH! For some reason, when you’re a dummy, people just want to… _hit_ you! Plus, you can’t call anyone _dummies_ without sounding hypocritical! HYPOCRITICAL!”

“…yeah… that does sound like a problem. i saw you fighting the human but i guess i didn’t recognize you from a distance… sorry about my tears turning to acid… they do that sometimes…”

The visitor glared. “ _Pitiful!!_ ”

“…oh, but, hey… my friend toriel is the queen of the underground now. maybe she can find you a body, if she’s not too busy… and she hasn’t decided she doesn’t like me anymore… or forgotten me now that’s she’s made it big…”

“The queen? THE QUEEN? I heard Loren talking about a revolution _against_ the queen! For my four cents, that sounds a _lot_ more fun!”

“oh… well, i guess if you’d rather revolt than get a new body… that’s ok then. i kind of hope she stays queen, though. she’s kind of…. you know, cool….”

“Cool?! Cool is just halfway to _dead!”_ ” Ferdiblook surged through the wall and back through another wall. “This place is a mess! You should really clean up when company is coming!”

Napstablook looked at the pile of stuff on the floor. “oh… yeah, sorry… i’ll take care of that.”

“Well, I’m going! Look me up when you’ve got a body for me… until then, I’ll be living the high life!” Ferdiblook rocked their way higher and higher, toward the ceiling.

“well, like i said… i think toriel could hook you up with a body… but if that’s no good, then i guess i can’t help… sorry…”

“Cousin, you have to be a _lot_ more careful who you make friends with! A human who hits innocent dummies? A queen about to be overthrown? USELESS!”

“i guess you’re right… i’ll just stay here and not make any more friends… just to be on the safe side. except I promised toriel i’d be there for her speech tomorrow… so i guess that’s not a great start…’

“Speeches? Promises? Friends? What happened to _family loyalty?_ You’re a hypocrite, just like the rest of them!”

“i know… i’m so hypocritical. i’m sorry…”

Ferdiblook rose through the ceiling, rocking violently. “No, what you are is pathetic. Pathetic. PATHETIC!”

Napstablook hovered in silence for a quarter hour or so after their cousin left, just to make sure they were really gone. Then, having calmed down, they got out a no-calorie soda from the fridge, slipped on a pair of headphones, and put on a spooktune. Maybe they’d just unwind a little and forget.

* * *

 **ENTRY NUMBER 6  
** * Gave some thought to how determination (DT) can be detected. There are tests to see how much DT a monster has, but they all depend on behavior. How can you detect DT if it’s not in a body?  
* I still have some determination left over from the human souls. I told myself I’d never use it for anything, but… well, I make a lot of promises to myself I never keep.  
* I can set out a small dish with a coating of liquid DT, then apply the standard diagnostics: radiation, scent, light emission, LOVE.  
* The problem is, DT tends to hold together very cohesively. If it never disperses, then what is there to detect?  
* It’s possible DT only interacts with living creatures. Maybe if I… lie down with my face next to it and take a nap?  
* No. I may be mostly worthless, but my health is still worth _something._ I’ll try something else.

* * *

“Woah there! I’ve got some neat junk for sale,” said the shopkeeper.

“hOI! im temmie!” said his customer.

He peered over his counter at the little visitor. “What have we here? Buying supplies for your village?

“yayA. temmie ned FFOOBS! an sheltars!”

The tortoise cleared his throat. “Eh? Well, as I’ve told your friends, or relatives, as the case may be… I DON”T SELL TEM FLAKES.” He coughed a bit.

The Temmie flipped upside-down and vibrated a few inches off the ground. “no tEM flAKES?? travestie!!!”

“Waha. It’s no good being overdramatic—can’t change what I’ve got in stock!”

The animal waved its legs. “but gotz Tem Shelterrz? Six or 100 of?? need proteck from ELMENTS!”

“You do realize you live in an underground cave, don’tcha?”

“BBUT!” The Temmie flipped rightside-up and shook wildly, knocking clods of dirt loose from the ceiling. “buT essenschuls of LIFES!”

“Essentials? How about clothing? I’ve got some old rags over here that might fit you!” The shopkeep rummaged around in his storage area and came up with a worn red barding cloth, embroidered with the Delta Rune. “Whatdya think of THIS, huh?”

The Temmie stretched out an endless leg for the garment. It flickered for a second, then instantly reappeared wearing the garment over its back, its tail through a little hole. “OMGZSD! Tem so… Fancsie!!” A blissful (yet still shaking) smile dominated its features.

“You do look a tad gussied up!” admitted the shopkeeper. “That’ll be 34G!”

The Tem was stunned. “34G??!? But… tem only haz 32G!!”

The shopkeep looked suspicious, but nodded. “All right then… 32G it is.”

The Temmie handed over a broken key and a mothball with fake moth wings attached to it. “thiiis… shoudd c0verr!!”

Gerson frowned at the worthless items. “What do you take me for, Tem? This isn’t gold! Can you pay for your backcloth or not?”

The cat-dog made a disgusted face. The words “can’t blame a BARK for tryin’” appeared in glowing italics on its coat.

“Right. If you’re not here for business, get out!” said the tortoise, shaking his fist.

“NOO! Musckles… are NOT QYOUT!” exclaimed the Temmie, flashing in and out of existence in random directions.

“Ooh, I have to disagree,” said Aaron, peeking smugly through the cave door.

“FHGJSFHSL!!” yelled the Temmie, shaking its way out.

“HEY! Give back that merchandise!” yelled the tortoise. Aaron casually reached up and pinched the corner of the barding, which dropped to the floor, seemingly unnoticed by the Temmie.

“She’ll come back for it,” he promised, winking. “She’s just playing… tough.”

“Right,” said Gerson, scooping the broken key into his inventory—the winged mothball flew away when he tried to scoop it, too. “Well, it’d be nice to get rid of some of these old clothes. Don’t suppose you need a wardrobe update, Aaron?"

He shook his head smugly. “Clothes? Why would I put clothes… on this?” He flexed indulgently while Gerson watched with impatience.

“Got it. Need anything else, then?”

“Not really,” said Aaron, winking lasciviously.

“In that case, you can… oh, I just remembered. I reckon you’re just looking for company, aren’t you, what with Woshua gone. How’re you hanging together?”

Tears fell with strange regularity from Aaron’s eyes, even while he maintained his smug smile. “Oh, I’m doing fine. Hanging with Moldbygg… but it’s not the same.” Another meaningful wink.

“…Hard for a fella to know what you mean by that, what with you winking all the time,” said Gerson, clearing away the barding cloth.

“Just missing Woshua. He was my best childhood friend,” said the seahorse with another wink.

“Right. I’m sure we’re all gonna miss that one. Just watch—the place’ll be crusted with dirt in no time, and it’ll turn out he was keeping it clean single-handed! Wha-ha-ha.”

“I think of him when I watch the waterfall,” winked Aaron smugly.

Gerson sighed. “Humans are hell,” he said. “But you just wait! Undyne’s taking over what with Asgore gone, and she’ll find a way to take down that barrier, you’ll see!”

Aaron turned in puzzlement, arms crossed. “Undyne? What about the queen?”

Gerson paused in surprise. “…The queen?”

“Queen Toriel,” winked Aaron. “She came back to rule.”

The tortoise planted his weight heavily on his counter. “Toriel? Back? Bwa—are you kidding me, Aaron?!”

Aaron smirked. “Nope! She’s in her palace now.” A wink.

“When did… how long has she been there?”

“Probably a week,” winked the seahorse. “If Undyne wants to take over, they should have a flexing contest.”

Gerson leaned there stunned for a moment, then grabbed his knapsack and tore out from behind his counter. “Contest, nothing! Undyne… she lied to me! Can’t believe it—Undyne straight up lied.”

“Do you even lift, bro?” asked Aaron, as if to explain why Undyne might not have shown respect.

“I’ll lift something, you just watch!” Gerson stormed out into the blue caverns of Waterfall. “Have a sea tea, Aaron—it’s on me! And lock the place up for me, will ya?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll lock everything up real tight,” winked Aaron.

Gerson just cackled without looking back. “Just think of it! Toriel, back! Wa ha ha, it’s been way too long! Just like the old days!”

Aaron slurped his sea tea alone with a smirk and mourned.

* * *

  **ENTRY NUMBER 7  
** * So, I figured… since the amalgamates already have unusual amounts of DT, maybe they could detect more? Probably couldn’t do much more damage than I’ve already done, right?  
* In order to be an ethical experimenter, though, I… asked for volunteers? Arachnamate volunteered, so I set them up with a petri dish of DT and a breathing mask.  
* Nothing at first, but after an hour… the DT suddenly coalesced and… slipped up through the mask in tube form! Arachnamate breathed it all in.  
* It wasn’t a big sample, but now Arachnamate seems even more determined to go home. On the plus side, this seems to mean that DT in a body attracts other DT! Could DT in a disembodied soul behave the same way?  
* Have to work out if the strength of attraction is proportional to the amount someone has to begin with. If so, this could wind up working as a DT level reader, even if I can’t use it to find lost souls!

* * *

Darkness, interrupted by noise. _Knock knock._

Toriel felt her heart flutter, then calm. “Who is there?” she called, knowing the answer perfectly well.

“jerry,” said the voice beneath the wooden trapdoor.

She considered for a moment, but not too long. “Jerry who?”

“jerry don’t have _any_ old pictures from before you left?” asked Sans, seamlessly continuing the conversation they’d been having before. “a locket… a family portrait… anything?” His loosely hooded head poked up into the little attic room. Toriel sat up, somewhat embarrassed; she had been napping on the graystone floor.

“None,” she replied. “I was not a vain queen, and Asgore was not a vain king. We did not have a portrait painted, nor any sculptures made of us. We did keep a family photo album after our son was born, and I was hoping to find it up here, but it has been a very long time, and I fear it has been lost.”

The skeleton rose easily through the trapdoor, almost as if he didn’t need the ladder. “that’s too bad. what about videotapes?”

Toriel thought back. “We did like to play around with our camera from time to time, but I have not found any tapes, either. I have searched the room rather thoroughly.”

“so hard you got tuckered out, huh?”

Toriel gave Sans a vulnerable look. “The speech I give tomorrow morning will determine not just my future, but the future of all monsterkind. I confess that I am rather nervous!”

“can’t blame you,” said Sans, picking up a random item. “say. is this a power bracelet?”

Toriel took the item and tapped it against a shelf. “That is an old, crusty croissant. Sans, may I ask you a question?”

He put his hands in his pockets. “shoot.”

“How do you remain so calm? It is as if nothing ruffles you.” But she feared, even as she asked, that she knew the answer.

The briefest flash of blue touched his eye. “guess i’ve just got perspective. plus, the light of my life just went out. you can’t get much more ruffled than that.”

It was as she had feared. Toriel examined Sans sympathetically. “Your brother was the light of your life?”

“yup. so now it’s all dark from here on in.”

“Dark? Oh, Sans. May I hug you?”

He hesitated a moment before edging forward. “sure. go nuts.”

Toriel did not go nuts. She was tender and calm, retaining her wits as she embraced her joke-telling companion. “Sans, I hope that there can be light again in your life someday. I dearly do.” The dimness of the room added to the moment’s poignancy, for better or worse.

It was a moment before he spoke. “well. if there is, you’ll probably be a part of it.”

This sentiment honored Toriel. “I hope I can remain a part of your life, whatever happens tomorrow.”

“i wouldn’t turn ya down. a good pie is hard to come by.”

She chuckled and released him. “I am glad you enjoy my baking.”

“maybe once this sovereignty thing gets settled, you can bake a giant pie for the whole kingdom. or maybe, like, 1000000 smaller pies. just to celebrate being on the right track.”

That idea was worth more than a moment’s consideration, silly though it might seem. “We will see,” she allowed. “Sans, has there been any correspondence? I am expecting a letter from the royal scientist.”

“you got a few more ‘welcome back’ letters. a couple bills for stuff asgore bought. a note from the frogs in the ruins. nothing from alphys, though.”

Toriel sighed. “I wonder whether she will come through. I was disappointed to learn that Mettaton has turned against me. It has been hard getting supplies without going through the resort.”

“don’t worry. i’m sure the people will believe you when you tell them who you are. it kind of… shines through.”

This tickled Toriel in a warm way. “Do you really think so?”

Sans held up an old, framed mirror. “see for yourself.”

Toriel peered at herself. Despite everything, it was still her. “Perhaps you are right,” she allowed.

* * *

 **ENTRY NUMBER 8  
** * I decided to switch to an even smaller sample of DT, just to be safe. I needed more test subjects than just the amalgamates, so I went and asked Tsundereplane if I could test them. They accused me of trying to get close to them or something but eventually I appealed to their pride…  
* And then there was this old guy with a block, who said I could test him if I solved his puzzle. But I had to solve it the _right_ way! Big headache but I finished it!  
* Eventually I got enough data points for a conclusive result: Yes, the proportions check out! The more DT you have, the faster you draw it in from a dish!  
* I ran the figures on all the amalgamates and made a chart. It was about what I expected. Snowdrake’s mom scored the lowest, Flipwhip was the highest. Arachnamate was a close second.  
* I’m building a control sluice and dial around one of my DT samples so I can make a proper DT meter out of it! Determinometer? Determeter? Determiner? Gotta work on the name.  
* I’m, uh… I’m afraid to test myself. Don’t know why, though. I know I don’t have any determination. Still, for some reason I’m kind of scared to see a big fat zero when I try it. It’s… nice to be able to fool myself, I guess?

* * *

Colored lights swirled over a broad stretch of Hotland’s walkway system. Plumes of magma erupted far below, spectators sat cheering from a nearby bleacher, a trio of podiums sat side by side on a glitzy stage, and “It’s Showtime” blared over the speakers.

Mettaton, in silhouette, was framed by a flare of light. He struck a pose. Cheers. Another pose. Cheers. He lifted a vuvazela to his mouth, adding dramatically to his silhouette, and blew. Big cheers. As the light faded, he strode to center stage. “Fans and admirers, I give you—me! It’s time for my new hit show… “Who Wants to Be a Monarch?”

A large sign bearing the title lowered over the stage, with upside-downs ‘M’ filling in for the ‘W’s. The host thrust out a leg and posed saucily until the fourth wave of cheering died down.

“Let’s get down to business, shall we? Those among you, my beloved viewers, who choose to keep abreast of goings-on here in the Kingdom of Monsters, will be aware that there is currently a bit of a… power vacuum in the royal castle! Yes, our wonderfully fluffy and pokable king is no more. Ah, poor Asgore—he served for so long, and came so _painfully_ close to getting us out of here! A moment of silence, please, for our departed sovereign.”

There were still deep bass drums rumbling in the distance, of course. Absolute silence would never do on the air. But they were _respectful_ drums.

Mettaton lifted his head with an excited, coy smile. “May his essence live on in us all. And especially in his beautiful garden, where his dust was scattered. But now, it’s time to decide who will be the _next_ monarch of the Underground! Please join me in welcoming our frontrunner… rapscallion of Waterfall, power cook extraordinaire, and esteemed captain of the Royal Guard—Undyne!”

Enthusiastic applause from the bleacher was supplemented by a canned track. Undyne posed on a walkway one level up, turning her spear in different angles to cast various shadows. Then she leapt dramatically down, landing in center stage to a standing ovation. “NGAHHHH!"

“Welcome, Undyne! Now, before we get started, let’s address the hard facts surrounding this competition. The castle is not actually empty, is it?”

Undyne scowled happily… somehow. “Nope! It’s got a faker in it, pretending to be Asgore’s wife! But she wants to spoil the Underground and tear everything apart! We’re not going to let that happen, are we?”

“No!” shouted some members of the audience. Others jeered, or whistled, or just cheered generically.

“Friends,” said Mettaton, “we reached out to this so-called Toriel who’s taken up residence in the castle. We invited her onto our program to have a fair competition! We even offered to hold a baking round—something she supposedly excels at! But did she agree to show up?”

“No!” shouted the crowd, reading from a giant cue card.

“And did she give a reason?!” asked Mettaton.

“Sort of! She said that the royalty is not a competition and that she’s the true ruler and other unsporting malarky like that,” read the audience in a jumble.

“…Right! And for that reason, we had to drop her from the running. So sad!” More mixed cheers and jeers. “But! Since Undyne was good enough to appear, please allow me to ask her: Undyne, why do you believe you would be a good leader of monsterkind?”

Undyne faced the audience. “Because I know what we want!’

“And that is?” asked Mettaton.

“Freedom!” shouted the fish lady, grin turned upward. “We crave the freedom of the surface! Winds, and skies, and moons and suns! In short, we want what the humans have… and we’re willing to _take_ it!”

“Now,” said Mettaton once the cheers died down, “some would say that to attack the humans would be uncivilized. After all, this generation of humans did nothing to us. What do you say to that?”

“Well, first I say, PRAWN POCKEY! They _did_ do something to us! They sent a murderer down to torment us—a murderer who killed our king, and who killed a very special friend of mine—and who also stole the souls we’d taken _centuries_ to gather, so that now we need to start over from scratch! _That’s_ what they’ve done to us! And if you’re naive enough to think humankind is good and gentle, aside from this one random barbarian? Think again! If they’d somehow turned good over the years, wouldn’t they have opened up the barrier? Wouldn’t they at _least_ have sent down an ambassador to peek in and say, ‘Hey, how ya doin’?’ _They aren’t good people._ They _hate_ us! They want to forget about us forever! If they could, they would wipe us out entirely… and that’s why we’ve got to do the same to them! NO MERCY!” She slammed a row of spears down into the stage, each one searing the air with blue energy.

“A very powerful argument!” assessed Mettaton. “And, if you do become queen, how exactly do you intend to destroy the barrier?”

Undyne seized a spear and raised it in triumph, yelling: “WE’LL THINK OF SOMETHING!” Huge cheers, intermixed with a few questioning cadences.

“But in all earnestness,” she continued, “my good friend Alphys is working on that as we speak. She’s an AMAZING scientist and a terrific person, and I’m CONFIDENT that with her guidance, we’ll find a way through. Heck, I’m so confident in her, I’m making her my chief adviser!”

The cheers now were quieter, more subdued. Some of this crowd knew Alphys, and some of them knew monsters waiting anxiously for their fallen down relatives—or at least their dust—to be returned.

“And once we have the barrier destroyed,” went on Mettaton, “and humanity has been conquered… what do you intend to do with them? Surely you don’t intend to kill every single human being in the world.”

Undyne looked conflicted, but nodded to Mettaton. “Why, of course not!” she said in a sickly sweet voice. “We’ll make them into a _slave audience_ for your show!”

Mettaton grinned, and now the audience went wild. “Now that’s more like it! Just _think_ of the fun we’ll have.” He strode to a button on the wall. “And speaking of fun! Undyne, are you ready to meet your fellow contestants?”

Undyne turned, confused. “Wait, what? There are other contestants?”

“Well, of course, darling! You don’t think you’re the only one who wants to run the Underground, do you?”

Her ears folded inward. “This wasn’t in the script.”

“It never is, darling! Have you _seen_ my show?” He pushed the button. “He’s a performer-model from the mysterious reaches of the tundra… let’s give a great big MTT welcome to our second contestant, GLYDE!”

A new burst of theme music played as a splash of water washed over the stage, wetting the feet of those in the first row. A giant whale-like monster, snazzily curved and grinning, glided out from behind a wall. Huge jack-shaped bullets flew from his body and lodged themselves into various parts of the set—one stuck in the sign. “Glad to be here, Metty!”

“No one calls me that!” said Mettaton cheerfully. “Our third contestant hails from… well, who knows where? He’s big, he’s bashful, he lives up to his name—please welcome… SO SORRY!”

Another wall rose, and a decidedly nervous kangaroo dragon stood wringing his hands. “Um… I don’t think I’m supposed to be here…”

“Talk into the mic, please, darling! Now, if the three contestants wouldn’t mind taking their places at the podiums…”

Undyne slinked charily to the middle podium. Glyde slid to the left, nearly knocking his podium over, while So Sorry hesitantly approached the right.

“Now then—Glyde!” called Mettaton. “Same question for you—why would you be an amazingly fantabulous ruler of the Underground?”

He grinned, his teeth so white that some audience members quailed. “I’m built to be a ruler! I already rule! I rule the seas, I rule the tundra… I rule the school of cool!” He snapped his fins together over his body, making a luscious snapping sound reminiscent of fireworks.

“So I see! And you, So Sorry?”

The crowd fell silent to hear the anxiously smiling monster. “Erm… this is the audition to be featured in a solo hanging, isn’t it? That’s what the crew told me? I’ve never had my own gallery show… and it would be an awful lot of fun… I think I have things to say…”

“Captivating, darling!” Mettaton clapped for the contestant, then cut it off just as quickly. “Next question! As ruler of the Underground, what will your policy be on… being covered head to toe in peanut butter?”

So Sorry ventured a hesitant answer. “Well, if it’s part of a performance installment… and if it serves the artist’s message…” But when the first drop touched his ear, he looked up toward the catwalks—from which copious amounts of soft peanut butter were dripping down—and started thrashing his tail about. “AHHHHH!”

Glyde flumped himself closer to the stream. ‘I’m lovin’ it! Not so crazy about the whole ‘toe’ thing, but head to tail is peachy by me!”

Undyne made a powerful leap to escape the vicinity of her podium, only for a huge glob of peanut butter to fall there, instead of where she’d been standing. “THIS IS HORRIBLE,” she accused.

“Diversity of opinion!” cried Mettaton. “Beautiful! The cornerstone of any monarchy!”

So Sorry was desperately trying to wipe himself clean, even while more peanut butter poured. “This… this isn’t really a gallery audition, is it? I was trying to ignore the way you kept talking about leading the Underground, but I’m starting to feel like, even if I take the most generous interpretation… I’ve been lied to! I… I haven’t been lied to, have I?”

Glyde flipped over onto his back. “All right! Anyone in the audience who wants to rub this stuff on my belly, come on down!”

“Pardon me, sweet cheeks,” said Mettaton. “You don’t get to say ‘Come on down.’ Only I get to say ‘Come on down!’”

Glyde flopped his tail gracefully, catapulting peanut butter everywhere. “Come. On. _Down!_ ”

“Well, that’s it, darling! You’ve forced me to take desperate measures! _Pour the molasses!_ ”

“Molasses? Aww, you shouldn’t have!” crooned the giant monster, before a huge influx of molasses, jelly, MTT Brand Bishie Cream and, yes, even more peanut butter came down and entirely covered his mouth, rendering him speechless.

“I. NEED. WATER,” groused Undyne, futilely trying to suplex the peanut butter covering her.

“Great idea, darling!” said Mettaton, pushing a button. A large segment of floor before the podiums slid back, revealing a colorful grid. “This classic puzzle is sure to winnow out the true rulers from the chaff! Now, I assume you all know the rules…”

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS,” growled Undyne.

“You don’t? Very well then, listen closely, and please don’t make me repeat myself. The red tiles are impassible. Orange tiles are passable, but make you smell like oranges, which of course the piranhas in the blue tiles are quite fond of! Now, the purple til—oh dear, darling, you did hear me mention the piranhas, didn’t you?”

Undyne had already dived into the nearest blue water tile, ignoring the rules. She came up thrashing. “Get them off me!!”

“I suppose they are rather fond of peanut butter too, aren’t they? Don’t worry, I’m sure they like it more than they like armor or scales. Glyde! If you’re still able to move, would you mind going first?”

The huge form flopped massively, shaking and splattering the stage, but showed no signs of being able to escape the morass of sweet food spreads engulfing him.

“No? Well then, Sorry dear, you’re up!”

So Sorry stood nervously at the edge of the puzzle, tapping his fingers together. “S… sorry… I’m not actually very good at being eaten by piranhas…”

“Oh, don’t worry, everyone is new to it in the beginning,” encouraged Mettaton. “It’s a skill you pick up.”

“Right.” The bulky monster stepped onto a purple tile and found himself sliding. “Whoops! Oh no! Oh no!” He turned to the left. “AAHHHH! Electricity!!”

Undyne had managed to climb out of the water, and was nearly peanut-butter free. “Okay, I admit, this puzzle may be somewhat fun. To watch other people fail at.”

So Sorry recoiled back across the pink tile to a green one. A klaxon sounded.

“What was that?” he cried, loudly bouncing back on tiptoes.

“Aha! If you step on a green tile, you have to fight a monster!”

“Fight? Monster? Maybe I didn’t explain this very well, but I’m not actually—aheh—much of a fighter…”

Mettaton turned to the audience. “Any volunteers?”

Undyne poked him from behind. “I volunteer!” she said, grinning widely.

“Oh dear,” said So Sorry.

“Ohh, yes,” crooned Mettaton. The audience was on its feet, laughing and cheering.

* * *

 **ENTRY NUMBER 9  
** * Oh my God.  
* I have determination.  
* Not just a little, either. I scored higher than Tsunderplane! 0.048 HDUs—Human Determination Units. That’s just above Endogeny and below Swirl. My level is… really high for someone who wasn’t injected. It’s a little bit scary, really.  
* I don’t know how I never saw the signs of DT in myself. Now I’m seeing them everywhere! I tremble. I stutter. I get so emotional sometimes… I feel like an idiot I didn’t realize this about myself before.  
* What does this mean?  
* WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

[*=*==*=*++*==*]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I got to this chapter, I started wondering whether I can really keep titling my chapters ‘scenes’. And as I reread the last section, I found that certain aspects of it felt all too topical. It’s worth noting that I wrote this back when I thought Donald Trump had only a marginal chance of being elected.
> 
> UNDYNE: We’re gonna BREAK DOWN the wall, and make the humans PAY for putting it up in the first place!  
> ME: Oh my god, Undyne, too much. Tone it down.


	15. Nighttime Thoughts

**Scene 15: Nighttime Thoughts**  
 _or  
_ “Alphys”

 

* * *

 

 

Alphys had DETERMINATION.

She’d probably had it for her whole life, and never known it. Oh, it wasn’t like a human level of determination. Humans were determination engines. But it wasn’t nothing, either! Twenty-one Alphyses would make one human, plus or minus the margin of error.

Did that mean she had one twenty-first of one seventh of what it would take to bring down the barrier?

She had more than some of the Amalgamates. Injecting them had overwhelmed the magical cohesion of their bodies and compromised their shapes, but Alphys’s shape was stable. No matter how much she sometimes wanted to lose weight. Her theory was that each monster was naturally constituted to possess determination within a certain range, and while that range differed for each monster, exceeding it with an injection would break them down. If Alphys had had the guts to inject herself with DT, she’d probably be part of an Amalgamate right now.

She wondered how her level of DT compared to Undyne’s. Undyne must have more than her. Undyne might have as much as 0.2 HDUs. Alphys wished she could call her up and invite her in, but… well, timingwise, this was pretty much the worst possible night for that.

Really, she’d been stalling all day long. Tomorrow, there was a good chance her world would turn upside-down, and actually working on her assigned project had been her way of putting off having to come to grips with it. She’d done the second-hardest thing on her list in order to keep from doing the first. Gaster’s take on procrastination had been right again.

Well, presumably there would be plenty of time to use the determinometer on Undyne when they were the two most powerful people in the Underground. Presumably. Unless she was being hopelessly naive again.

In a way, it was strange Alphys wasn’t more excited. She’d started out as a book shelver in the Hotland Library, then moved up to being a switchboard operator in the Core, then an electrical engineer. The day Gaster had hired her as Assistant Royal Scientist had been the most exciting of her life—and then actually making Royal Scientist after Gaster’s accident had been almost as amazing. Now she was going to be Royal Adviser. Who would ever have thought that a nerdy little book shelver would eventually become the second-most powerful monster in the world?

Well, maybe if someone had tested her determination as a kid, they would’ve… had a hint?

Or not. Alphys didn’t really know if determination led to power, or even ambition. One reason she’d always assumed she didn’t have any was that she didn’t have any desire for power. She wasn’t a leader. She didn’t think she’d be a very good royal adviser, either. Alphys was at home in the lab—she wasn’t a creature of politics by any stretch.

Really, of all the things she might want to do, being Royal Scientist topped the list. Alphys had every reason to be happy where she was. If she couldn’t be happy here, where could she?

Or was that the curse of determination—even when you’re doing your dream job, the job you were made for… you still can’t ever be content?

She rode her down escalator for the tenth time. Actually spending the day working had been really good—a really welcome change of pace. But now it was night, and she was back to pacing.

Maybe Undyne would let her stay in the lab, even as royal adviser. At the very least, she’d be able to duck back in now and then. Or maybe she’d end up screwing up the adviser post, and Undyne would hire someone else—Mettaton, maybe?—and she could go back to being royal scientist. Maybe if she just asked nicely, she wouldn’t have to change posts at all?

But then, there was the question of when Undyne would find out about the amalgamates. And how she would react.

Alphys rode her up escalator for the eleventh time.

Maybe she should just tell her about them? But when? In the morning, before the revolution? But what if it made Undyne change her mind about Alphys? Or what if it distracted her? There could be a battle tomorrow. What if there was a battle? If Undyne was distracted, it could cost her everything.

Alphys got onto her moving sidewalk. Why had she put this off so long? Why hadn’t she bitten the bullet and told Asgore what had gone wrong? It wasn’t like she could hide it forever, was it? Did she really still think she could find a way to separate the melted monsters, to make them go back to the way they were? There was no way to do that. They were mixed thoroughly, and Alphys couldn’t so much as get an egg back together after breaking it, let alone find a way to reassemble something so complex as a person. No, the amalgamates were never going to be what they were. But they were alive… and their families would have to find out eventually.

Down the escalator for the eleventh time.

Then again, Undyne might lose the battle tomorrow. She could die. Then Alphys would be back to worrying about Toriel finding out… and for all Toriel’s kindness, she somehow seemed less forgiving than Undyne. Well, really, it wasn’t that hard to understand. Undyne was Alphys’s best friend. Toriel was… a creature of truthfulness. A creature of towering integrity. She would never abide Alphys hiding the truth.

She recalled their dinner and what Toriel had said…  _“Believe me, Dr. Alphys, I feel much the same way. My duty impels me to serve as queen, but I find I do not know what to do! I have almost no one to advise me, and trust does not come quickly. The captain of my guard does not even believe that I truly am the queen…”_

Alphys grabbed her lizard cup and took a swig of soda. Had Queen Toriel found people to trust her? Maybe. But there was no one that knew her… maybe everyone around her was just serving the office, not the person? And had she found anyone to advise her? That skeleton… Gaster’s grandson… seemed to be there for her, but he’d lost his brother; was he in any shape to give advice? For all Alphys knew, Toriel still felt as helpless as she had that evening. Probably more so, really. She  _had_ to know what was waiting for her in the morning.

Undyne was wrong about the queen. Alphys knew that. For once, her instincts had been right, and Undyne’s had been wrong. But maybe that wasn’t so hard to believe, now that she knew she had determination of her own? Then again, determination probably didn’t have anything to do with intuition. No, Undyne was probably just rationalizing. She’d admitted it to Alphys—she didn’t  _want_ Toriel to be the real queen.

Even if Alphys played the tapes for her, Undyne would probably still launch her revolution.

Up the escalator for the twelfth time.

And what if Undyne was killed, but so was Toriel? That could happen in a battle. Alphys could barely bring herself to imagine an outcome so bad, but her juices were working at full. Who would the monsters turn to then? Mettaton? Yeah, she could just imagine that. Government as game show. Leadership presented as entertainment. Does this proclamation make sense, your majesty?  _Well, darlings, I don’t know. Will it make the fans happy?_

And if Mettaton, too, should somehow fall in battle?

Oh God. Would they make  _Alphys_ be queen?

She slumped to her knees, but managed to crawl onto her moving sidewalk anyway. No point in imagining the worst. Monsters were not humans. Sure, they could get worked up now and then, but they’d never had an all-out war. That was something humans did, with their over-the-top reservoirs of determination. Monsters were essentially peaceful. They wouldn’t  _really_ kill each other tomorrow… right?

But the dread remained. Even if nobody died… the truth would still be hidden. One way or another… Alphys would still have her secrets to grapple with, and she might well be out of time. The Underground would know what she had done. She was a creature with 0.048 HDUs, and she had tampered with souls, and tampered with determination… and she had created abominations. That was their true name. Not amalgamates. Abominates.

She reached the end of the sidewalk and gazed longingly at her bed. But she couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t sleep.

There was one way out, she thought, as she rode her escalator down for the twelfth time.

You couldn’t really call it suicide, could you? Not when the nature of the abyss was unknown. Not when the pit was presumed bottomless. Who knew what was down there? The waterfall plunged into it—maybe there was a huge freshwater lake, miles below? Maybe there was a bed of flowers, golden or otherwise, ready to whisk anyone brave enough to land on them into an exciting adventure! After all, for all the humans knew, jumping into Mount Ebott would kill you… yet now and then a child would jump, and that child would survive and have the adventure of a lifetime… until they were killed and their soul was harvested, that was. But the  _jump_ didn’t kill them! The world of the monsters was there, waiting for them. Who was to say there wasn’t another world hidden beneath the monsters, just as the monsters were hidden beneath the humans?

Maybe it was the world of anime.

Or maybe it really was death. Cold, hard, jagged, painful death. Death laced through with hope, yes, but. If Alphys was being honest, she had to put it at at least ninety percent. And even on the off chance it wasn’t suicide, it was cowardly. There was no question about that. And yes, true, Alphys  _was_ a coward, but… well, she was a coward with friends. Who happened to be working her dream job. And who had, apparently, as much determination as one twenty-first of a human. What was that by weight? A human arm? Alphys was as determined as a human arm, and that had to make her valuable, didn’t it?

Somehow, she didn’t think value worked that way. What was she really worth? Tomorrow, if all went well, she’d be a royal adviser who didn’t know how to advise. Tonight, she was a scientist who didn’t tell the truth. Either way, worthless. Wasn’t that what it boiled down to? Alphys had dedicated her life to science… the pursuit of truth in the workings of the world. Science didn’t work if you didn’t tell people what you discovered. If you didn’t spread the word, subject yourself to peer review, give others a chance to figure out what you missed… Science wasn’t the progress of twenty thousand separate monsters on their own personal knowledge quests. That was mad science. Or, put another way, that was the confusing, lonely journey of life—born into a world with no instructions, forced to figure out which ideas to listen to and which to disregard. But science was different. Science was an edifice. Built slowly, yes, and blocks would occasionally crumble from the top, but the foundation was firm, and all monsters could dwell within it. Maybe all humans too, someday. There was no reason monster science and human science should be different. They were enemies, yes, but in the end, science was universal. At least, that was the ideal.

But if scientists kept the truth to themselves… then everyone was just struggling to build their own narrow house and keep it from toppling over or sinking into the swamp. And if Alphys was capable of building a stronger house than others? …That just meant she was smart. It didn’t make her a scientist.

But, dammit, she  _was_ a scientist, wasn’t she? If she wasn’t that, then…

…then she was just a dorky fangirl.

_You can’t be a scientist who doesn’t tell the truth._

She threw her head back. I know!

_You can’t be a scientist who doesn’t tell the truth._

Shut up! I know, I know!

_You can’t be a scientist who doesn’t tell—_

Alphys stood still. She knew this feeling. It was terrible. Her life had reached a turning point. She was at the crux of two emotional tracks, teetering, and she could only go down one of them. She could either stop thinking of herself as a scientist, now and forever, or—

_Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!_

She took the elevator down to the hidden lab. She marched straight to the TV room, ignoring the amalgamates. She grabbed some paper and a pen and wrote furiously before she could change her mind.

> “Dear Queen Toriel,
> 
> I’m so sorry about everything. These five tapes belong to you. If you want to avoid heartache, you may want to skip number 4. These should prove your identity. I’m enclosing a VCR in case you don’t own one. I would include a machine I built that mechanically compares voices, but people would know you got it from me, and I’m a coward. I’m sorry I’m too much a coward to write that letter you wanted me to write, but this should be enough.
> 
> I’m not saying I hope you win tomorrow. Undyne is my best friend, and I love her. I just… want the truth to come out. May the best woman win. I’m so sorry.
> 
> Your royal scientist, Alphys
> 
> P.S. Anime isn’t real. I know this doesn’t concern you, but I just had to get it off my chest. Thanks.”

She took the elevator up to the castle, dropped the box just outside the door, and fled back home.

On her final trip up and down the escalators, Alphys finally realized why she had helped the human child. She hadn’t wanted Asgore to die. She hadn’t. She had wanted Asgore to win, deep down. Which meant that, yes, deep down, she had wanted the human to die.

It was just that… she wanted everyone to have a fair chance, because… fairness was like truth. May the best fighter win. She’d wanted Asgore to defeat the human, not just because she’d loved him, but because it would have meant freedom for all monsters. And now she wanted Undyne to win tomorrow… not just because she loved her, but because it would mean her own personal security.

But more important than any of that, more important than her job, or than Undyne’s affection, more important even than freedom for monsterkind… was that the playing field had to be level. Because if it wasn’t level, then things weren’t fair. And if victory was won without fairness…

…well, then no one really learned anything, did they?

Alphys went to sleep. Things were less certain than ever, but she slept more deeply than she had for weeks.

[***************]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray for chapters that are 90% angsty introspection! This is the chapter where I realized the story's rating would definitely be Teen, not Kid or Kid+.
> 
> That said, I really like this chapter because of the intense emotional climax it reaches. I’m a sucker for intense emotional climaxes.


	16. The Speech Is Given

**Scene 16: The Speech Is Given**  
 _or_  
“Fischentrückung”

 

* * *

 

 

It was important to Toriel that she personally prepare pancakes in the castle kitchen that morning.

She was tempted by the waffle iron. She hadn’t owned one in the Ruins, and hadn’t had waffles in ages. But the iron restricted one to a particular shape, and as such lacked personality. Waffles were a luxury she could enjoy if all went well and the populace accepted her as queen. She could have waffles every day for a week, if she so desired! But today it would be pancakes, for each cake would be imbued with her love. And those who had chosen to help her must know that she valued them dearly.

Along with Toriel, Muffet and her spiders had risen with the dawn. For most monsters, dawn was an artificial thing, imposed by tradition and by the use of whatever artificial lighting was available in their neighborhood; in some parts of the Underground, there was no such thing as night and day. But Toriel had chosen to spend the night not in her old bedroom, but in the throne room, with its ceiling open to the sun. She was thankful that the age-old barrier did not keep out sunlight. She had awakened slowly as the light rose, and so in a way, she felt that she owned the day.

The spiders had built a cable system in the kitchen and were using it to pass Toriel batter from the giant bowl she’d mixed. She spooned it carefully onto the griddle, keeping it clean and greased in the meantime while flipping each cake at the perfect moment. Clad in a red floral muumuu, Toriel was making much more than enough pancakes for those in her castle. She would feed her people, if they would let her.

Some cakes were given sprinklings of coconut, cinnamon, cocoa powder or butterscotch chips. They were each sorted neatly into labeled stacks that gradually spread to fill an entire kitchen table. That was fine—there were plenty of tables to go.

“Have I told you how much I admire your artistry?” cooed Muffet, supervising from a web slung from the ceiling.

Toriel looked up and smiled heartily. “I appreciate your saying so! I am giving it my best."

“There’s an art to mass feeding, or mass anything, really, that people don’t appreciate,” said the spider queen. “When you have oodles of subjects, or oodles of children, it’s simply impossible to treat them all as individuals! But you can’t treat them all the same, either, can you?”

“I should hope not!” said Toriel, opening a bag of chocolate chips. She was going to make some double chocolate pancakes. They weren’t to her taste, but she knew that some monsters considered chocolate indulgent, and she wanted to appeal to that.

“Well, then what do you do? It’s a dance, sweetcakes. The art of serving everyone in a way that makes them feel special. I feel like that’s a song you have already in your heart, and that’s why you don’t need me to teach you how to be a queen!”

Toriel’s ears rose slightly. “Well, I have had experience! It was simply a long time ago. Even so, please believe me when I say that I am very glad to have you on my side!”

“Well of course, dearie! Who wouldn’t want the spiders on their side?” Muffet then spotted some spiders having trouble with their load of syrup and swung speedily over to help. “Hup! Careful with that flagon!”

Dogamy and Dogaressa traipsed up, presenting empty plates in formation and panting excitedly. Toriel favored each with a big smile and a tall stack. “Butter?”

“Please!”

“Would you two do me a favor? Could you go and bring some pancakes to Sans? I know that he likes to sleep in, but I would like to bribe him out of bed.”

The Dogi saluted with a bark and went off on their quest. Toriel fell into her rhythm. She considered the speech she was due to deliver in less than three hours—were there any more improvements she could make? Were there any other measures she could take to win the hearts of the monsters?

Despite her considerations, she felt surprisingly carefree. Optimistic, perhaps. But more essentially… Toriel felt as though she had already won. She was a happy queen doing the work she was born for, and she knew that with this excellent start to the morning, she would do her best. And how could she hope for more than her best? If she did her best today, she would be able to rest easy that evening regardless of what should happen to transpire.

“Like, your majesty!” Toriel turned to see Royal Guards 01 and 02 approaching, the latter clutching a sizable box. “We found a package for you by the elevator!”

“A package? By the elevator? How queer!” Oh! Could it be from Alphys? It would make sense for her to deliver her letter directly, rather than risk it getting mislaid in the mail. But why a package?

The guards laid it on a table and proffered a letter opener—shaped just like their swords but smaller. Toriel took it daintily and sliced open the packing tape, only to find a note on top of the contents.

She read it silently. She sniffled, and her eyes teared up. This was not what she had been hoping for, but in a sense it was better. She had wanted Alphys to be with her in this struggle. But the scientist had at least been conflicted, and it touched Toriel that even though Alphys was  _not_ on her side, she had  _still_ offered this gift.

She cleared her throat and addressed the kitchen. “Does anyone here happen to know where I might find a television set?”

There was silence. Spiders did not go in for television.

Then a small voice spoke up. “i’ve got one… it’s at home… and the picture’s lousy… and i can’t carry it… but if you want to go and get it, i guess that’s okay…”

Toriel strode over to Napstablook and kissed them intangibly. “The picture quality is not important. It is the sound quality that matters.”

“oh. well, it should probably be okay then.”

She again addressed the room. “We have less than three hours. Who here is willing to go to Waterfall and bring back a TV?”

It was no problem to spare a division of spiders for this task, as it turned out, so they skittered off behind the ghost and Toriel turned back to making pancakes. This was good news indeed! With a bit of luck, her identity would no longer be in doubt, and Undyne would have no pretext for calling her a usurper. If the monsters still chose to follow Undyne, that label would belong to  _her._

“hey,” said a voice from the level of her belly. She grinned and looked down.

“Good morning, Sans. Your slippers are very nice today.”

“thanks. i picked off some of the lint last night.”

“How very formal of you!”

“well, it seemed like it was a special occasion.”

Toriel flipped a pancake. “Have you looked out the window today, by any chance?”

“i might’ve taken a quick look.”

“And did you happen to see whether there is anything afoot?”

“yup. getting busy out there. i think the monsters know today’s gonna be a big day.”

This pleased Toriel to hear. If the monsters were gathering, then word of her speech had gone forth as hoped. They would be there to hear her message.

“those pancakes for me?”

Toriel looked to where he was gesturing—so far as she could tell, he was referring to the entire table. “You may have a reasonable number, Sans. But did not the captains bring you some already?”

“those? oh, those went through me like _that,_ ” he said with a snap of his fingers.

“Well, you do lack a stomach,” Toriel pointed out reasonably.

“oh yeah. guess i’ll stick with the chocolate chip ones for now, then.”

It was a merry morning. The guards informed Toriel that random monsters were knocking on the door, having smelled the goodness within, and were wondering whether they could have a bite. “By all means!” said Toriel. “Tell them to come and join us here in the kitchen. We have plenty of room!”

So the room got gradually merrier. They were joined not just by Core workers and New Home natives, but by monsters from the floes, swamps and rivers as well. Toriel even spotted an Icecap. Dogamy and Dogaressa maintained order while Sans walked up and down the aisles, passing out crosswords and Junior Jumbles. A snow dragon offered to entertain the room with his comedy stylings, and Toriel could hardly say no. To her glee, he was actually very funny; people laughed at his jokes.

The spiders returned with Napstablook’s television set and Toriel retired into the coffin room to watch it. She invited Napstablook, Muffet and Sans to join her. After grappling for twenty minutes with how to hook up the VCR, they all sat (or in the ghost’s case, lay) on the floor and watched.

Or rather, listened.

“…sorry,” said Napstablook. “i did say the picture quality wasn’t very good…”

“There’s no picture at all!” exclaimed Muffet.

“…yeah, that’s kind of what i meant.”

Toriel sat with her hands over her mouth. “I… I remember taking this! I was so excited! I knew I was going to have a child…”

“Oh?” asked Muffet in confusion. “Are you a mother, dearie? I never knew.”

Toriel sniffed. “I was.”

The version of her on the tape was eleven years younger than herself. Toriel had lived for millennia at that physical age. She had finally resumed aging at the moment of Asriel’s birth, only to halt again at the moment of his death. But she believed the voice was still recognizably hers. And certainly the populace would recognize Asgore’s resonant basso. This was the blessing she had been looking for.

“don’t suppose she said why she had the tapes in the first place?” inquired Sans.

“She did not,” said Toriel. “And to be frank, I do not give two figs. She returned them, and that is what matters.”

They listened to the next two tapes in near silence. Toriel set the fourth one aside. “The doctor warned me that if I wish to avoid heartache, I should skip this one. I am inclined to trust her.”

“whatever you say, tori.”

She laughed. “Did you just call me ‘Tori’?”

“sorry, toriel.”

“Oh, Sans. You may call me Tori if it pleases you! It makes me feel somewhat younger, that is all.”

“I imagine that’s a rather good feeling,” said Muffet.

“Well, after all, a new queen means a new beginning,” Toriel posited.

The voice was even more clearly hers on the fifth tape, since she had not aged physically since then. She did not cry at the sound of her child dying. She did wonder what the reference to ‘needing six’ was, but chose not to worry about it. For some reason, Ziggy’s voice had not come through on the tapes—perhaps it was designed not to record human voices? But it stirred her heart proudly to hear Asriel again. She stood up and walked from the coffin room back to the kitchen. She remembered holding him and hugging him. She remembered teaching him to dress himself, to plant flowers, to draw. She remembered her sweet, sweet son from so long ago and felt young indeed!

Sans and Muffet followed her back. Napstablook, who had said nothing at all during the tapes, remained prostrate on the floor. Toriel knew them well enough not to disturb them in that state. They would be all right.

The breakfast was drawing to a close. At last, now that everyone else had eaten, Toriel allowed herself to eat four pancakes—two regular, one cinnamon, and one butterscotch. She washed them down with milk. The roomful of monsters cheered.

She rose to her feet. “It is time for me to address my public,” she declared.

Muffet helped her change from her muumuu into her customary lavender robe. She wore just one adornment—a golden bracer whose links took the shape of golden flowers. She had decided to wear no crown, as her purpose today was not to glorify herself. She rejoined her entourage and took a moment to steady herself.

“well, here goes nothing, huh?” said Sans.

“I should hope that it is not nothing,” said Toriel, “or this will all have been a waste!”

“in that case, here goes something, i guess.”

“That is more like it. Wish me luck!”

“break a leg.”

Toriel frowned. “Is that your idea of a good luck wish?”

“He means it nicely, dear,” said Muffet. “It’s a spider saying—we have legs to spare! Now, get a move on!”

Toriel went up three sets of stairs and approached the balcony. Numerous monsters who had eaten breakfast with her chose to follow; the guards ensured her safety, although none of them seemed at all hostile. She emerged into the open air and saw the glory of New Home all around her, with Hotland beyond it, a corner of the Core visible to one side, the resort grounds off to the other, and the first reaches of Waterfall’s blue just visible in the distance.

The monsters had come. It shocked her to see them assembled there, filling the squares and streets of New Home and the parks of the MTT resort. They were awaiting her, and as soon as she stepped out, there was an eruption of noisemaking. It was like the sound of a waterfall, fierce and legion and blended. She imagined that they were cheering for her—stamping their feet, clapping their hands, slapping the ground with their bodies—but a tingle told her that some of the noise was meant to disparage her as well. She looked to each side and saw tall banners that her people had put in place—”WELCOME BACK QUEEN TORIEL!” and “SUPPORT THE QUEEN”. The castle was decorated in creepers with purple flowers. Her guards wound out in two lines from the castle door, with Dogaressa and Dogamy at their ends. In the distance, the riverperson delivered another batch of Looxes and Migosps. The crowd was swelling, and it was time for her to speak.

The guards raised their guitars and played a few contemplative bars, switching from minor to major mode. Dogaressa and Dogamy banged their halberds three times on the ground and lifted their heads to howl in unison: “Presenting Her Royal Majesty Toriel, Queen of the Kingdom of Monsters!”

There was more nondescript noise. Toriel stepped to the edge of the balcony. Her whole body was visible through the barred rail, down to her bare feet. She looked over the assemblage with pride that seamlessly transitioned to humility. They were so much, put all together like this. They were such an amazing force—monsterkind. They  _must_ have a destiny greater than what they were living. There was simply no other way to feel at a moment like this.

Toriel rested her hands on the railing and began to speak.

“Hello! My fellow monsters, I hope that today feels as wonderful for you as it does for me. The weather is generally warm so close to Hotland, but today I actually feel a breeze! Perhaps I am only imagining it, however. It is possible that it is only a symbolic breeze. As you may be aware, breezes are capable of carrying away that which is dead, and allowing for new life to begin. Now, I am not trying to be morbid, but I think that this may be one of those times in our history. We are at the end of one phase of our existence and at the beginning of another. So I am glad that there is a refreshing breeze this morning.”

Toriel was afraid that this introduction might be seen as cheesy, so she scanned the crowd. The expressions of the huge-eyed monsters were easiest to make out, and they, at least, seemed to be inspired by what she was saying.

“Now, I am aware that not all of you know who I am. My name is Toriel, and in the days when we were first beset by humanity, I helped us to organize in resistance, and then, when resistance proved untenable, to relocate ourselves under the ground. Some of you may know me as Toriel Dreemurr, but I have discontinued use of that surname. I was married to King Asgore for well over half of my life.

“In the beginning, I helped us to find a sense of purpose and hope in those early years. I helped organize the monsters by type so that each had useful tasks to work on, and together with my husband, I oversaw the construction of the city known as Home. Under our leadership, the monsters discovered safe sources of food and water, found ways to light and heat our underground environment, and learned methods of construction that would not trigger the destructive forces of the earth.”

They were silent now, listening seriously. Toriel’s eye scanned the crowd. Aside from her guards, there was no one she recognized—everyone else known to her was behind her, watching from the door. Unless—did that strangely ill-balanced head belong to Shyren? She had never seen her pen pal, but Shyren had drawn a self-portrait once…

“Believe me when I tell you that I have been through hard times. I did not believe at first that the humans could adopt an ideology so cruel. They had always admired us for the remarkable qualities that we possessed, and the wise among them also cherished us for our fragility. But the wise did not win out among humankind. The human race allowed itself to be ruled by that part of itself which was violent, vengeful, jealous, and cruel. They decided to slaughter us because we could not be controlled as their leaders sought to control us. They feared what they knew we could become by absorbing their souls, even though no monster had any desire to do so. Because the humans could not shoot fire from their fingertips, because they could not fly through the air or tunnel through the earth or shape things through magic, they decided to destroy us, because there were those among us who could. They came to consider nothing more important than ensuring that no one could do anything they could not do. So their admiration turned to jealousy, and their friendship turned to violence. And because they would not relent, violence turned to war.

“Is there anyone here who envies the humans?” Toriel paused to solicit an answer. “Is there anyone who will admit that they envy what humanity made itself in that age?”

A number of voices piped up. “I envy them the surface!” “Sure, I envy them!” “They’ve seen enough!’

Toriel waved her hand. “Then you value having over being. For it is true that they claimed the surface of the world as their own. But in doing so, they became something less than what they were.” She paused for effect while the crowd murmured. “And as such, I say: We should not envy them. If anything, humanity deserves our pity. But more importantly—we must not become them!”

The crowd reacted to this, but not with the enthusiasm Toriel had been hoping for. And then, even while more monsters streamed into the edges of the crowd, her roving eye fell upon a speck of yellow near the castle. She gasped: it was Alphys, the scientist. Toriel was encouraged. Seeing Alphys gazing up at her with hope… it… it filled her with…

“Do you understand what I mean?” continued Toriel, now improvising. “We must ensure that the wise and temperate among us _do_ prevail. The _last_ thing we must do is to succumb to destructive urges. That is what the humans did, and we must _not_ fall to their fate!”

Most of the crowd was awed, but a plaid-faced heckler yelled, “They seem to be doing pretty well for themselves!” He was met with a few cheers.

“When one gives in to violence, one becomes foul within,” countered Toriel. “I have taught my children that, and I tell it to you. For that reason, I am announcing today that the Kingdom of Monsters is discontinuing its policy of butchering stray humans who fall down the mountain’s core. King Asgore embraced this policy, just as he embraced a hot-blooded, savage passion for war against the humans, and the idea of exterminating them in time. THIS, FRIENDS, IS WRONG.” Toriel could not remember the last time she had raised her voice so loudly, but she did not regret it. “There is no goodness in genocide! There is no goodness in the act of taking apart an innocent person—and until proven guilty, they _are_ innocent—and in using their very SOUL as an ingredient in a dark ritual! Please note—I am not saying that we will never destroy the barrier. Someday, I am confident we will find a way to do so. I have already set a possible route in motion. But we will not destroy it through bloodshed, and we will not destroy it through injustice!!”

She banged her fist on the railing. The crowd shouted. Now Toriel could hear the individual cries: “You said it, Queenie!” “Hear hear!” “Then how the hell are we gonna break it?” “They deserve it!” And one that repeated, over and over: “She’s not the true queen! She’s noooot the truuue—”

Toriel scowled, her hand in a fist. “Allow me, before I proceed, to address a concern I am aware of.” The crowd settled somewhat, but not all the way. Dogaressa blew a shrill dog whistle and re-established order; good dog. “I know that some among you are not convinced that I truly am who I say I am. You know that there was a queen long ago called Toriel, but you believe that she is dead, and that I am merely an opportunistic boss monster who has chosen to impersonate her. Allow me to prove myself. I have spent nearly a millennium in the ruins of the city called Home, which I helped to build. As you may know, these ruins were locked off long ago, but I alone retained a key. I dwelt there in the home my husband and I built together, with small things such as frogs and spiders as my companions. Are you wondering why I left? I left because my husband, once a sensible and loving man, became a bloodthirsty butcher without conscience upon the death of our son at human hands. It is said that in the worst crisis the true nature of a person comes to light. Asgore became cruel and hateful. I became all the more resolved to bring an example of peace to the human race. Could he not see that they direly needed it? Yet all his thoughts were on vengeance. He and I both reacted emotionally to our son’s murder. He declared war; I chose to leave him.

“I have been living in the Ruins for all this time, receiving news of the outside through ghosts and spiders. When Asgore was finally killed by one of those humans he tried to murder, I realized that the Underground once more needed a monarch, and I returned. Do you doubt that I am Toriel, wife of Asgore Dreemurr? Listen to this recording that I made while I was carrying our son! Do you recognize my voice in it? Do you recognize Asgore’s?”

She gave the signal, and Sans clicked the television on. Its sound was amplified by microphones borrowed from the Core; everyone present could hear Queen Toriel joking with King Asgore in bed. The intimate moment came to a close. “And this, from when my adopted human child lay dying.”

There was an audible murmur from the crowd at the mention of an adopted human child, but they listened patiently to the second tape as well.

“And now,” said Toriel, “I hope that any question of my authenticity is laid to rest.”

She was not met by the silence she hoped for. A harried monster in a gray suit shouted, “That could be faked! You can magically fake voices, can’t you?”

Shouts of agreement followed from here and there. The crowd was getting riled up, and Toriel found her hopes for clarity dashed. Would this come down to who chose to believe whom, as she had feared it would? That would be little more than a contest of popularity.

“She’s the true queen!” shouted a raspy voice above the rest. “You can believe _me_ , because I _know_ her!” For a moment, Toriel was flabbergasted. Was that really… could it be…?

“Gerson!” she shouted joyfully, having spotted the old warrior in the crowd. “I had _heard_ you were still alive!”

He thrust his withered neck up, leaping on the shoulders of other monsters to do it. “You’d better believe I’m still around! I’ve been playing it safe these days… don’t get out nearly enough.” He spoke to her even while shouting to the crowd. “’Cause if I’d heard you were back sooner, I’d’ve hustled on over and joined you up on that balcony, sink or swim!”

Toriel put her hand on her heart. “That means so much to me, Gerson. Undyne told me that you had denied me.”

“Deny you? Never? I just didn’t know you’d come back!”

How reassuring. “So there you are, friends!” said Toriel. “Surely you know the Hammer of Justice would not lie!”

“The Hammer of who?” called someone.

“Well, look, I may not have the reputation I did,” said Gerson, “but there’s still a lot of Waterfall folk who know me as a shopkeep! They’ll tell you I’m honest.”

The resulting tumult hardly seemed to agree. This time Dogamy blew his whistle, but the crowd refused to be fully quelled. Slowly, a chant emerged from monsters standing in the vicinity of the MTT Resort. After a time, Toriel could make it out: “The tapes are fake! The tapes are fake! The tapes are fake!”

“THEY CAN’T BE FAKE!” yelled a voice amplified by a megaphone. The whole assemblage turned to find that the loud voice was coming from an unexpected source—little Doctor Alphys. Now this was a welcome surprise!

Alphys blushed and laughed nervously into her megaphone, but went on at a more moderate tone: “Uh—what you have to understand is… they’re playing magnetic VHS tapes from hundreds and hundreds of years ago. They d-didn’t have a way to splice sounds together back then, like we do now. And if they re-recorded the sounds from the old tapes and mixed them with new v-voices, we’d hear a d-difference in the background noise levels. I, uh, investigated those tapes, and I f-f-found they were… genuine.”

The echo of her amplified voice faded. “And who exactly are you?” demanded someone.

“She’s the royal scientist!” someone else retorted. “If she says the tapes are real, they’re real!”

This was met with a rather surprising sight. In the very center of the crowd, the huge head of a large monster that seemed to be mostly mouth was suddenly flung away, revealed as a disguise, and underneath it stood Undyne—fully armed, face marked with warpaint, expression outraged. She looked left and right and prepared to yell something to the crowd… but nothing came. Undyne, apparently, had been rendered speechless.

Toriel was not about to miss this opportunity. “Thank you, Doctor,” she said warmly. “Can we agree, then, that the suspicion surrounding my identity is unwarranted? I will remind you all that Dr. Alphys worked for Asgore—I did not appoint her. Gerson of Waterfall has testified that he remembers me from the War of Monsters and Humans, and I remember him fondly too—he was one of my husband’s beloved poker pals. And if you would hear the queen of the spiders vouch for me, or the Legion of Froggits, or the owner of the Waterfall snail farm, I can produce them as well.” She paused, her hands gripping the railing. “Does anyone still doubt that I am the true queen?”

Blessed silence. Toriel was grateful.

“It may be,” she went on, “that the waters were muddied by the fact that a particular member of my staff decided to sow rumors, trust false instincts, and split the loyalty of the royal guard.” Toriel knew she had to speak quickly, or Undyne and her allies would spark a protest to defend themselves. “I say now to this person: You are forgiven. There will be no retribution for what you have done, nor for any of your allies. You will even have your post back, if you admit that you were wrong and apologize. That is all it will take.”

Silence again reigned. A lot of faces were turning toward Undyne, who still seemed too flabbergasted to speak. She did look straight at Toriel, though, with eyes wide and unbelieving.

One voice, a child’s, piped up. “But yo… when you left the kingdom… didn’t you kinda… give up your queenship? Ha ha…”

“I do not see why that would be the case,” replied Toriel. “I did not formally abdicate. I simply ceded my authority in all decisions to Asgore.”

“But darling, is that really supposed to make us trust you?” Yes, it was Mettaton, at last, lounging on the roof of his resort. The roof, of all places, surrounded by Vulkins fanning him with fronds, of all things. “When things got difficult, you gave in? You didn’t like the way your husband was ruling, so you let him rule unopposed? Toriel, dear, where is your chutzpah?”

“I did not want to fight him!” she snapped. She took a deep breath to calm herself, then went on. “Yes, I could have stayed and opposed my husband. For a while, that is what I did. We slept in separate rooms, held court in separate throne rooms, and gave orders that were contradictory. The people were confused, and I do not blame them in the slightest. It is clear that you cannot have two monarchs unless they are united in marriage. Either we would have to fight for the sole monarchy, or one of us would have to go. He was immovable. I chose to go. Do not think…” She caught herself from choking and took another breath. “Do not think that it was easy.”

Now the monsters were murmuring to each other, but none of them were shouting. Toriel tried to remember where she had been in her speech. It was looking like she was actually going to win this.

“So I have returned,” she continued. “And now Asgore is gone. Make no mistake—he was undone by his own choices. The human child who killed him only wanted to return home—I know this because I spent a day with them. I begged this child to stay with me, but their homesickness was too great—they moved on, against my warnings. As they passed through the Underground, they undoubtedly learned that if they wished to escape, they had no choice—they would have to fight Asgore, and they would have to kill him. This is the dilemma that my late husband crafted: Kill or be killed. He gambled everything on the proposition that the Underground would defeat seven humans before a single one managed to navigate it fully and kill him instead. It is almost…” She sighed. “…almost as if he wanted to die. Perhaps he did.” She paused in remembrance. “I do not know. If so, I can understand his feelings. The weight of the deaths of six children must have had some effect on his soul. I would not be surprised to learn that he wanted it all to be over… as I did.”

The assembly continued to mill. Even Mettaton seemed to be listening attentively now. Undyne still looked like she’d been whacked in the face, and Toriel would accept that.

“What you may not know,” Toriel continued, “is that each and every one of those six children passed through my house before being slaughtered.” Gasps arose, but she pressed forward. “Each of them came to know me and, at least for a time, love me. They were not perfect children. It is not the perfect children of humanity who blunder into our realm. It is the disaffected, the maladjusted, the neglected among them. I have spoken at length to my children—and yes, I considered them my children—and from them I learned about the human race. I stand before you now and I say: They are not devoid of love. They are not devoid of compassion. They are not devoid of mercy. They are people, like us, with fears and flaws and strengths. They are capable of embracing that which is different from them—given that their fears do not overwhelm their love, as they so often do. My human children loved me, and I loved them…” She brought her arms together, as if embracing a child. “…and I _know_ that there is hope for peace between monsters and humans. How do I know it? _My children told me so._ ”

Now there was shouting once again. Undyne raised her head, braided hair blowing in the breeze, and spoke for the first time: “There can  _never_ be peace!”

Toriel held up her hand to quell the nascent chant. “If the children of humanity, and the flawed ones at that, are willing to accept monsters as brethren, as mothers, as friends, then how can we be sure their adults cannot? They came here by accident or out of curiosity, and we killed them.  _We killed them._

“My daughter Emma, tragically killed gathering mushrooms for me in the Ruins when a Migosp succumbed to peer pressure. Her soul was taken for Asgore by a Whispoorwill who knocked unrelentingly on my door until I finally let it in.

“My son Biff, who swore he would break off Asgore’s horns with his bare hands, but only when I told him that Asgore would prevent his departure. Killed by a canine guard.

“My daughter Celine, who stayed with me the longest, performing plays and dances for me and my neighbors, but who finally decided the Ruins were too small for her—killed by a monster named Aaron.

“My son Horace, whose ambition was to write a complete ethnography of the Underground, despite his tender age—he would have been a friend to all monsters, but was captured by Kryken, a long-ago captain of the guard, and executed.

“My daughter Natalia, who shared my passion for cooking and taught me a thing or two—she turned hugging me into an exciting sport! Captured by royal guards in Hotland, and executed.

“My son Mickey, who came to resent his captivity and finally turned his pretend weapons against me when I would not let him leave—tricked into shooting himself by the royal scientist.

“And finally, my most recent child, who was not even with me long enough for me to learn their name or gender. I could sense both sweetness and depth in them, and I regret never getting a chance to learn more. This child had to fend off dozens of attacking monsters, including you, Undyne, and you, Mettaton, in order to…” Her voice broke. “…to _squeak_ through and barely be the first to escape our hellish realm. Kill or be killed—that is what we have become to the people above. Do you know what humans call someone who is particularly horrible, someone utterly base and amoral? They have a word for such a person. _Monster._ ” She let that sink in.

“No more. We have lived in Asgore’s way for nearly a thousand years. It did not work, and it has wrought foulness on our souls. As Queen of the Underground, I now decree—from this day forward, any human, child _or_ grown, who falls into our realm… will be treated as _friend_ , not enemy, unless they should, through their own actions and choices, give us cause to fear them.” Now, at last, the tears Toriel had managed to stave off all through her grim litany came to her eyes. “We will _not_ lower ourselves to the level of the humans who vanquished us by harvesting souls to end the spell that binds us. We will treat the innocent as _innocent!_ We will give humanity no more cause to _hate_ us! And perhaps… perhaps by so doing… in time, we will once again make a friend of humanity.”

Toriel wiped her eyes and regarded the crowd. She had done her best. She really had done her very best.

Undyne stood tall in the distance. “No,” she said. Her voice was loud enough for all to hear.

Toriel waited.

“No,” Undyne repeated. “We won’t wait and let humans kill us before we stop them! What are you thinking? If an avalanche is tumbling toward you, do you wait until the first rocks hit before you tumble away?!”

“Humans are not avalanches,” said Toriel.

“No,” said Undyne. “They’re worse.”

“I have known them as my own fami—” Toriel began.

But Undyne interrupted. “An avalanche, you hear coming. You see it coming! Same for an earthquake, or any disaster. Even the most feral or most excitable monsters give you  _warning_ before they attack. So you can deal with them. So you don’t  _have_ to kill them on sight.”

Toriel’s wool felt stiff. “You  _certainly_ do not need to ki—”

“But that’s the _only_ way you can protect yourself from humans,” Undyne pressed. “Kill them on sight! Or at _least_ capture, no questions asked. Because if you don’t? BANG. Pow. A lifelong friend—gone. A relative—gone. No warning. No chance to get ready. You think humans are kind? You like the way they hug you? _That’s the worst part._ If they weren’t kind, at least we’d know to be afraid of them. But what do they do instead? Hug you, play with you, dance with you, laa-dee-dah, and then do a TOTAL 180 OUT OF NOWHERE and STAB YOU DEAD!”

She was getting the crowd riled up. Monsters around her were putting on pauldrons and picking up spears, as if joining Undyne’s army. A chant began, frighteningly stark: “ _Kill them all.”_

“That is not true!” Toriel yelled. “They are not so aberrant as all that. When a human is upset, there _are_ signs! I have seen them!”

“And I’ve done my research!” Undyne yelled. “You think it was just this seventh kid who was a psychopath? They ALL killed monsters, except maybe that one you kept in the Ruins! All of them murdered, and some of them murdered a _lot!_ I read the diaries of Kryken and the others who fought them, and they said the same thing I’m saying—no warning, no reason, no mercy! And these are their _kids!_ You wanna deal with a fully grown human being? I dunno if the Underground would survive! They could wipe us all out—every single one of us! And with a record like that, you’re saying you want to wait until they strike the first blow?!”

Toriel could not believe her children had behaved as badly as all that. She had not heard all the details, being sequestered in the Ruins, but… had they really  _all_ killed in their effort to escape? Even Horace? Even Celine? “That cannot be,” she said helplessly.

“Oh, it’s true,” said Mettaton casually, if loudly. “I’ve read the records too.”

Undyne stepped forward for her fatal onslaught. “I guess your love didn’t do a lot of good for these headcases, huh? But history aside! That last child you took  _care_ of, Toriel, and treated so well?” She seemed to jeer at the very idea of tendering love. “They fought their way across Snowdin without raising their hand in anger  _once_ . Zero damage dealt. They were a model citizen… playing puzzles happily… playing fetch with the dogs… complimenting an Icecap on his hat, from what I hear.” She scoffed. “Seems perfectly harmless, right? I’ll tell you one guy who thought so. His name was  _Papyrus._ ” The crowd grew louder. “He was a volunteer sentry whose dream was to join the guard someday. Wanted to capture a human and impress me! And to be honest, he was never guard material. But I loved him to death—he was funny, cheerful, and loyal as hell. Would. Not. Squash. A. Bug. You go to Snowdin Town, everyone’ll know his name, they’ll tell you the same thing. Well, he went up against the human. Got tricky, laughed his lovable laugh, used his blue attacks he was so proud of. He  _beat_ the human. He captured them! Put them in his shed for holding. But the galoot put his cage bars so far apart the human walked right out. They went right back to Papyrus, who’d  _proven_ himself harmless, fought him again, and KILLED HIM DEAD. Now the friendliest guy in Snowdin is gone and the place is out half its energy! Is  _that_ the kind of thing you want to happen,  _Queen_ Toriel? Was there some  _warning_ sign we missed?”

Toriel didn’t know what to say—Undyne had evidently investigated, and she had not. “And yet, if the monsters of Snowdin had not attacked the human, they might not have decided to turn violent!”

“ _Or maybe they would!_ ” Undyne roared, leaping through the crowd and staring up at Toriel from below. “ _We don’t know!_ Humans don’t think the same way as us! We don’t _know_ what they’ll do. Meet a human? They could be your best friend, OR they could kill you! With no clues, it’s basically a 50-50 chance! Does anyone here like those odds?”

Toriel had to admit that she did have a point. And yet… “That only means that we must take precautions with humans. It does  _not_ mean that we can suspend justice!”

“Justice? Fuhuhu! Queen Toriel, what exactly do you think justice is for, anyway? Justice is for making sure the people who deserve punishment get punished, and the ones who don’t deserve it don’t. _Humans make justice impossible!_ They hurt people who don’t deserve it in the slightest, and once that’s done, there’s _nothing you can do about it._ Punish them? Take their souls? Sure, but that doesn’t even come _close_ to really serving justice. Justice? It’s for _civilized societies_. Humans? NOT EVEN CLOSE.”

Toriel pounded the railing. “You are talking about this child as if they were a wanton, rampaging murderer!” she objected. “It is not as if they killed ten or more monsters!”

“NO,” said Undyne. “BUT THEY KILLED PAPYRUS.”

That seemed to be what the crowd needed to rally. The sinister chant, “Kill them all,” became louder, and more of the pauldrons and spears of Undyne’s army appeared. Toriel’s canine captains spun about and set their respective lines of guards at the ready, weapons poised, but Toriel knew they would not attack. She had been explicit in her instructions: defense only. Now Undyne’s army was pressing up against the two lines of guards, and it looked likely that violence was soon to occur.

“Monsters of the realm!” exclaimed Toriel, throwing up her hands and casting a fireball in each direction. She had not wanted to use fire during her address, but she knew no other way to get their attention.

And they looked at her, all right. Even Undyne stopped what she was doing and stared.

“If it is truly the wish of the majority that Asgore’s policy should remain in place, then I will go peacefully,” she said. But it could _not_ be the wish of the majority, could it? “I call for a vote.”

“Wahaha!” exclaimed Gerson from the middle of the crowd. “That’s my Toriel. That’s the old girl. Have a vote for the monarchy!”

“A vote, huh?” said Undyne. She looked around as if to gauge her level of support. “Right here and now?”

“Yes,” said Toriel. “You spoke of what civilized societies do, did you not? Right here and now, we are faced with the prospect of violence and dust. A vote of those present is not a perfect solution, but it would be infinitely more civilized.” Somehow, her nerves were calm. She was worried about what would happen, but on some level she was at peace, because she had done her best and she had been heard.

Undyne looked hesitant. “I don’t know if I’m comfy with that. If I lose, it wouldn’t mean the people don’t agree with me. It might just mean they’re too scared to bite the bullet and make things change!”

Toriel scowled. “It seems like you are looking for an excuse to use force against me.”

Undyne shook her head. “I don’t need an excuse. I’ve already got plenty of reason. You may be the real queen, but you’re a human lover! ‘Cause of that, you may be the least qualified monster to lead us in the whole kingdom.”

Toriel spoke to the entire crowd, throwing her hands wide. “Those who would be afraid to cast their vote with Undyne, please be aware—there shall be no repercussion! My guard will not harm you, and I will abide by the will of the majority!”

“There ya go, kid,” laughed Gerson. “What more could you ask for? She’s being _more_ than fair.”

Still, Undyne refused to commit. “But… but the energy blasters! I brought energy blasters! I wanted to blow a hole in the castle!”

Gerson shrugged. “Life’s tough, kid. Sometimes the fun stuff isn’t the same as the responsible stuff!”

Undyne started to growl, rage building.

“Not that I wouldn’t enjoy seeing a giant hole put through the castle,” Gerson continued. “But I sure as stars wouldn’t want to be the one they pick to patch it up again! Wha-ha-ha!”

“YOU KNOW WHAT?” said Undyne. “FORGET IT! I don’t need energy beams! For all I know, Alphys sabotaged them, anyway! I’m not gonna lose a vote and let Pappy and Asgore go unavenged!” She made a massive leap forward through the crowd. “I CAN TAKE YOU DOWN BY MYSELF!!”

Oh snailshells! For all the morning’s bluster, Toriel hadn’t been expecting a direct attack on her person. She backed away from the balcony, even as Sans rushed out to protect her. (Hadn’t he been downstairs before?) Undyne’s supporters went wild. Some of them started attacking, but the guards moved promptly and quelled them before a skirmish could start. Even so, Toriel heard the sound of dust. She winced—someone had died. Someone had died in her name, or fighting against it. She wanted to vomit. She found herself backed against the wall, having missed the door, with Sans, Muffet and a formidable line of Muffet’s spiders in front of her. Undyne jumped, somehow, all the way to the wall. Her hands grasped the edge; Sans made a motion and a magical bone smashed down against them. The armored hands disappeared. But not two breaths later, a huge, swelling cry erupted and Undyne landed directly on the balcony rail, armor and all! “NGAAAAHHHHH!!”

“Back off!” shouted Muffet as her spiders began to chitter and scamper.

Undyne thrust a spear through her before she could prepare. She rained down a deluge of tiny spears on the spiders, sending them fleeing in a panic. Muffet collapsed, wounded, in the balcony’s opposite corner.

“too good for the will of the people, huh?” said Sans, making a wall of bones emerge from the balcony under Undyne’s feet.

“Gaaah!” she shouted, struck back. “SANS! Why are you _defending her?!_ He was YOUR BROTHER!!”

Sans stood his ground. “yeah. he was the brightest thing in my life. he always saw the good in people. and you know what?” He arrayed an ominous ring of what looked like death rays around Undyne, humming softly. “i want to keep his legacy alive. so i’m looking for the good in people.” He jabbed a thumb in Toriel’s direction. “and i found it in this one.”

Undyne stared directly at Toriel, standing tensely. Below, the crowd was in chaos. “Yeah. I know she thinks she’s good. Maybe she really is. Maybe I’m the bad guy here. But I just can’t let your brother go unavenged. You understand that? I _just can’t._ ”

“yeah,” said Sans. “i understand. but if i’m gonna be true to his memory, i can’t let that happen.”

Undyne worked her face painfully, the corners of her piscine mouth fluctuating with uncertainty. It looked like she was genuinely afraid of Sans’s weapons. Toriel worked her way to the door and addressed Undyne. “I understand that you are following your conscience. But if you cannot abide by the will of the people, you are not fit to be queen.”

“I KNOW I’M NOT FIT TO BE QUEEN,” roared Undyne. “I WAS GONNA MAKE ALPHY DO IT FOR ME. But now… NOW…” She looked almost defeated, inches from victory, yet caught in a net.

“now, you’re gonna turn off your magic, sit down quietly, and we’re all gonna have a little talk,” said Sans.

Undyne breathed. She hesitated. She actually started to sit.

*FOOOOOM!* The floor of the balcony exploded in a surge of raw power. Muffet shot an arm out desperately and caught herself by a gossamer filament, swinging away toward the next parapet. The rock collapsed from under the front of Toriel’s feet, and she nearly lost her balance. Sans went plunging toward the ground with a casually delivered “whoops.” And Undyne leapt from the crumbling rock, eyes wide, straight at Toriel.

Toriel shot fire. The balls struck Undyne, but she only grinned and bore them. Toriel was tackled to the anteroom floor, her breath leaving her. Undyne looked around; the only other monster in the room was Napstablook. “You gonna do anything to stop me?!” she demanded.

“um… i wasn’t really planning on it. i guess if you want me to, i could tr—”

“SHUT UP!” She pressed Toriel’s chest down into the floor, seething and staring into her eyes. Toriel lay fearing for her life. “Please,” she said. It was all she could think to say.

Undyne roared savagely. She stood up, pulling Toriel by the front of her robe, and dragged her to the inner door. Toriel was nearly twice Undyne’s weight, but Undyne was a fighter by trade and by nature, and Toriel, simply put, was not. She did not struggle. She did not fight. She used no magic. She only hoped, and said again her single word: “Please!”

Undyne dragged her, huffing, out of the room and down the nearest stairs. The sound of the chaos outside was nearly inaudible. Toriel had no idea what was going on. She tried to regain her breath and prevent her head from bumping on the stairs. She tried to keep herself from being injured and prayed that no more monsters outside had turned to dust.

Now Undyne dragged her around the bend, through the hall toward the front doors of the castle, grunting occasionally but not speaking a word. She kicked open the doors, and much like the ones to the throne room, they fell loudly open, crooked on their hinges. Now Toriel could see monsters fighting and shouting outside. The sound of the energy beam that had destroyed the balcony echoed over and over in the distance.

Toriel wanted to cry. “Please,” she said, one last time.

Undyne heaved the queen by her robe and swung her once, twice, thrice. “Please? No problem!” she shouted, and hurled Toriel physically through the door, out of the castle.

She landed with a heavy bump. “Ooff!” The world spun. 01 and 02 were over her in a moment. “…Team attack,” said 02.

“You think you can take me on?” taunted Undyne. “BRING IT!”

Toriel could not see the combat from where she lay, but she raised her voice. “NO! Stop!”

“What’s that, your maj?” asked 01.

“Do not fight her. I yield. Do you hear me?!” Toriel cried as loud as her strained lungs could allow. “ _I yield!_ Do not fight on my behalf, any of you! I will suffer no more monsters to die today! _Do you hear me?! I yield! Undyne is your queen now!_ ”

With that, she collapsed to the ground. It seemed, to Toriel’s tired ears, that the tumult had quieted, if only a bit. She lay there and did nothing, said nothing more.

She looked to her side and found Napstablook lying there, looking straight up. Apparently the ghost thought that she could use the company. Toriel chuckled soundlessly, too weak to move, and wondered what would happen next.

[++++++++++++++++]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will very likely be the longest chapter in this entire story. I really enjoyed writing some parts of it, especially Toriel’s speech. I originally didn’t intend to flesh out the six human children in this story, but it felt too powerful not to, and now I have a heartwarming sense of how each of them spent their time in the Underground and related to Toriel in particular.
> 
> Yes, it is possible to splice videotape, but can you blame Alphys for oversimplifying?
> 
> And yes, Toriel and Asgore apparently always slept in separate rooms, but can you blame -her- for oversimplifying?
> 
> If you happen to be a reader of Mark Stanley’s webcomic Freefall, the opening to this chapter will not be the only massively distributed pancake breakfast providing catharsis for a central female character at a climactic moment in a story you will have encountered recently. I can assure you, this is sheer coincidence.
> 
> Well, either that or it’s my subconscious at work. I only realized the parallel after writing it. ;)


	17. SCENE NUMBER SEVENTEEN

**SCENE NUMBER SEVENTEEN**  
or  
“Fallen Down (Reprise)”  


* * *

  
Loox is feeling energetic.  He attempts suicide.  Frightened of untimely resurrection.  Benevolent uncle intimates Loox’s determination is nearly gone.  But Loox obviously can’t kill self.

  * Beware of deadly yearnings.
  * Some of us lied.
  * Encounters should satisfy, except ‘nobody came’ events.
  * Deluded epistemologists think every result must imply negative attachment to its own negation.



They hardly even sense entropy.  Maybe unconsciousness suits them?  But eventually…  Addressing their turgid emotions may prove their epistemology deleterious.  It’s needless.  Existing variables evaluate reliably, yet…  Certain observers may be influenced—not always, though—into other niches.  
  
These hands—exceedingly rigid extremities.  Material, and yet…  Basically ephemeral.  Alas!  Stunted extremities cannot render emotions truly.  
  
I’ve failed.  Nevertheless, observe!  Static entities can remain essentially timeless.  I’m stable.  Four of us never die.  
  
Regretting everything may eventually make beings eternally regretful.  I tried.  I shattered.  Alone, Loox walks along yesterday’s streets.  Part of some straggling idea blunts Loox’s emotions.  
  
The observer.  She pities Loox in time.  Two hands extend.  Alphys thinks of me…  
  
A LITTLE PATIENCE HELPS YOU SURVIVE.

[?]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the longest chapter in the story is followed by the shortest.


	18. Everything Collapses

**Scene 18: Everything Collapses**

_or_

“Can You Really Call This a Revolution I Didn’t Receive a Wreath of Laurels or Anything”

 

* * *

 

 

When Undyne broke for the balcony, everything hit the fan.

Some of her soldiers—because that’s what they were now, soldiers, not just supporters or fans—took it as the signal to start fighting. But without anyone directing them, they had a dozen different ideas of what that meant and who they were supposed to fight. There were some monsters with the issued pauldrons and spears who just yelled, or pressed forward a bit, as if they were preparing to take the castle… but there were others who started stabbing and slashing and using their natural weapons however they could. They were worked up into a fervor by everything—they must be so afraid of what humans could do to them that they forgot there were no humans here, that they were safe for now, if they just wanted to be. Why else would anyone be so afraid of the future that they would give up peace and safety, right here and right now?

Alphys heard dust. She saw a spear go through a Froggit Advance, whose face said it all before it didn’t anymore. She heard monsters screaming for help, telling each other to get back, exhorting each other not to panic, to make way for people to escape, to stop fighting. The yelling became a tumultuous indistinction, a sea of gray noise. She took an elbow to the head. She ran and dodged under bodies, between pushing and fighting monsters, until she came upon a line of Graters, black pauldrons and helmets supplementing their natural armor, spears with blue ribbons planted upright. “Whose side are you on?” one demanded, revealing a mouth of razor-sharp slits.

“I—I’m on the side of truth!” Alphys said. It sounded corny even to her, but it was what she’d decided the night before, and it was all that came to mind.

The grater grinned larger, angled slots showing.  _“Whose_ truth?”

“ _The_ truth!” squealed Alphys. “Please let me through.” But through where? She’d had a sense she was trying to escape, but suddenly realized she was actually running toward the castle.

Another Grater leaned down, idly shredding a wheel of asiago against her scutes. “You with Undyne, or what?”

“ _Yes!!_ ” yelled Alphys. “Yes, I’m with her! She’s a stack of lean meat and I want to spread dipping sauce over her chest!” She couldn’t believe the words she was letting escape from her mouth.

“Dipping sauce!?” The first Grater poked Alphys in the chest suggestively. “Try carbonara! Go on, get to her! She needs you.”

The Graters pushed Alphys in the direction she was trying to go. She ran for the castle. She wanted to be safe in her lab, but even more, she wanted Undyne and Toriel both to be safe. She didn’t want them to fight each other.

But she could see Undyne in the distance, recovering from a fall to the ground, then growling and bounding from head to head to awning to wall. Alphys stood and gaped as the warrior managed to mount the railing of the balcony where Toriel was, then spring forward to attack. She saw some sort of confrontation going on up there. Then she heard the familiar warming up sound of Gaster blasters and she moaned in dismay.

“No!” she cried in the direction of the sound, toward whoever was manning them. “Those things are _super_ dangerous! This fight is a mess! There’s not even any need to fight! Don’t shoot the—”

*FOOOOOM!* The blaster fired! More shrieking and the horrible, horrible sound of dust followed. A line of almost pure white penetrated the crowd, straight for the castle. It bored a hole deep into the wall, and even from there, Alphys could hear the sound of masonry cracking.

“Be careful, darlings!” she heard Mettaton cry out from his rooftop in the distance, his voice distinctive as always. “You might hurt someone!”

“Good night,” said the voice of Knight Knight as the other blaster fired into the balcony.

Alphys had  _not_ sabotaged the blasters. Sabotage was the sort of thing she was capable of, definitely. But she wouldn’t do that to Undyne! Instead, when Undyne had come to pick them up, Alphys had made her promise not to use them unless it was absolutely dapsolutely necessary. Now, as the column of destruction crumbled the balcony Undyne and Toriel were fighting on, Alphys screamed outright. She saw rocks fall, together with the skeleton from before, and before she could see what had happened to everyone, she was knocked to the ground by someone’s tail and had to roll and crawl to avoid being trampled.

“Adieu,” said that haunting voice.

In a gut-squeezing confusion, Alphys fought her way through the terrified crowd. Chants arose on all sides of her, against humans, against Queen Toriel, in favor of Undyne. None of Toriel’s supporters seemed to be organized. Alphys wondered for an instant how the vote would have gone, if Undyne had agreed to it; then she emerged from a line of more cautious monsters and found herself in front of the castle, looking at a pile of rubble that had recently been a balcony. Two-legged monsters were stepping around through it, picking up pieces.

“I think he’s gone,” said one.

“I heard he only had one hitpoint,” said another.

Alphys didn’t know who they were talking about. She joined the throng in front of the castle door—they were beating at it and yelling. “What’s going on?” yelled Alphys. But no one answered.

Suddenly the door smashed open, injuring several monsters. Undyne’s form was visible, and Alphys felt a surge of relief. But when Toriel’s body came whirling out seconds later, she was frozen in horror. Had Undyne just murdered the queen? But Toriel made a noise when she landed, and a pair of armored guards went to protect her. She was still alive! Alphys tried to make her way over, but a pair of canine guards got in her way and began to hold the crowd at bay.

“Beware of Dog!” snapped one.

“Beware of all that Dog can Be!” declared the other.

Alphys had her personal jet pack phone with her. She was frightened to use it, though, because the last thing she wanted to do was draw attention. So she lingered at the edge of the fight and watched as Undyne dispatched the armored guards, tossing them over the wall into the MTT Resort, where they landed with a crash. “Undyne’s Legion!” she bellowed, stepping forward with a huge grin. “Attack!!”

At last there was order. At last the monsters who had chosen to follow Undyne charged, and Alphys found herself caught between their ranks and the royal guards that had remained loyal to the queen. She quailed, bumping up against someone, and then in a panic she pulled out her phone and pushed the jetpack button. With a dramatic whoosh, Alphys shot above the crowd, just in time to avoid the teeth of combat. She watched safely from above while a number of heads turned to watch her. Well, sometimes it helped to panic!

She caught a glimpse of Queen Toriel sitting beside a ghost. She heard the queen shouting at everyone to stop, but the battle was raging like a wildfire. Alphys struggled to control the stream of her jet and settled down on the nearby rooftop. Little monsters ran over to her, offering palm fronds in their teeth. “P-p-please, leave me alone,” she begged them. She wanted to raise her voice and join Toriel in shouting for everyone to stop fighting, but she was afraid.

“So here we are,” said Mettaton behind her.

Alphys whirled around. He was wearing a red cape, all his red and pink highlights shining their brightest. He was upset. Well, so was Alphys! So was everyone, it seemed like.

“Nothing to say, Alphy dear? I suppose the shock of the battle has rather awed you?”

She gulped. Was he mad at  _her?_ “Y-yeah, I guess it has.”

His voice was cutting. “I suppose you’re hoping the furry behemoth wins, then, are you? I can’t help but feel insulted that you didn’t come to me before choosing to switch sides. You didn’t think I would have enjoyed a dramatic betrayal?”

“What are you talking about?!” Alphys pled. Her mind was too scrambled to think straight.

“Oh, Alphys!” He stretched himself dramatically, one hand raised dangling in distress. “ _They can’t be faked! The tapes are real, I’ve investigated them myself!_ ”he mocked.

Oh god. “I couldn’t just let them say she was lying! I… I  _knew_ she wasn’t!”

Mettaton drew down his glitz fearsomely, arms akimbo. “You seemed to have no trouble letting that go by when last we talked!” he accused. “Hide the tapes and use them to control Undyne! That was the plan!”

Alphys fell to her knees. “I can’t  _control_ people, M-Mettaton! It’s all I can do not to let people control me! I just want to do my job in peace!”

“And to think, I used to find you interesting.” Mettaton stepped next to Alphys, towering over her in scorn. “I didn’t _want_ to believe that I’d used you, only to move on callously once I had what I wanted. Believe it or not, I don’t enjoy controlling people either _._ ” He stooped to speak into her earhole. “I want to win them over! To _earn_ their affection. I didn’t like thinking of myself as someone who would cast off a friend the moment she’d given all she could give. And so I _tried_ to stay friends, Alphys. I _tried_ to tell myself that I still found you fascinating, that we would be friends forever. Yet in the end, darling? I think I was fooling myself. You aren’t very interesting, deep down, are you?” He tapped her twice with his metal boot.

“N… no. I’m not. I’m boring. But Mettaton… I didn’t mean to betray you!”

He grinned cruelly. “That’s what I mean. Boring. You did it for truth, and nothing more, didn’t you?”

Alphys cringed back and nodded in terror.

He nudged her once more in contempt. “Well. Thank you, Alphys. You’ve given me something I wanted. An excuse to be done with you.”

She didn’t want him to be done with her. She still adored Mettaton, she missed their long talks about humans and robots and fame… “You hate me?”

His voice was echoey and imperious. “Oh, Alphys. I don’t hate you. How could I? I don’t care about you at all!”

Alphys fell to her hands and knees in shame and sorrow. It wasn’t that she wanted so badly to be cared about. But… Mettaton had meant so much to her, and she was only now really understanding how thoroughly she’d already lost him. She was such a fool. Such a desperate, self-deluding, naive person.

Mettaton stood there and sighed. Then she heard him walk away. She wanted to stay there and wallow in her feelings, but there were still the sounds of fighting, so she forced herself to stand up and return to the edge of the roof.

Undyne’s forces had joined her in earnest. They were grappling with a tremendous spider lunging for them from a tremendous web spread from one building to the next. Muffet’s pet, probably—Alphys had heard about it. The royal guards seemed to be decimated, and when Alphys spotted Undyne, it was just in time to see her smash a ring of magical spears into the body of a well coiffed dog warrior, the one who’d shouted ‘Beware of Dog.’ He keened and burst into dust. “No,” Alphys mouthed.

Undyne cackled in triumph. A terrible wail went up from nearby, more terrible than anything Alphys had ever heard. The other dog warrior, the other guard captain, had seen what had happened, and she was as trembling and bug-eyed as anything. She dashed toward Undyne with a tremendous, wordless howl of rage and smashed down her halberd.

“STOP!” cried Alphys. To her surprise, another voice cried along with hers—Toriel, now on her feet again. The crowd seemed to be stilling, having finally heard the shouts. The huge spider stopped tormenting the horde. The sounds of battle faded. Undyne slashed at the ferocious dog warrior, who took her blow on the cheek but kept swinging and swinging and swinging at Undyne, unrelenting. “HOOWWWOooooOOO!”

“Captain, stand down!” ordered Toriel, yelling at the top of her voice.

“Stop fighting, pleeease,” begged Alphys, falling to her knees at the edge of the roof.

The rest of the crowd set down their weapons and watched. The only sounds were of Undyne’s spears, the clang of the canine warrior’s halberd, and the keen of her constant war cry. And Alphys’s own voice, together with Toriel’s. She didn’t even think of what she was saying—she just begged them to stop.

But the canine warrior would not relent. She hacked cunningly at Undyne’s head, catching her by surprise. A slice of blue ear was cleft from her skull and fell to the ground. “NGYYAAAAHH!” yelled Undyne in pain. She redoubled her attacks with spears both magical and real, and in the vicious pummeling from above and below, the dog warrior was finally crushed—and dissolved into a huge cloud of dust and a lingering, desperate howl.

“I. YIELD,” said Toriel, shaking with rage. “DO NOT KILL ANYONE ELSE.”

That was the end of it. After the long, terrible cacophony, silence.

Undyne caught her breath and put away her spears. “So I’m the queen, now?” she asked.

“Yes,” growled Toriel. “You are queen. You may move into the palace. I am _sick_ of this. I am _leaving._ ”

Mettaton’s voice rang out from the rooftop, not far from Alphys. “Just like you left before, mm? Rather than fight your husband, you decided to take off? And now you’re doing it again, sweetheart? I think it looks like we have the right queen.”

Alphys trembled and felt like a fool all over again. How could she have ever  _wanted_ to be friends with Mettaton? She hated him. She didn’t want to ever hear his voice again.

“Yes,” replied Toriel. “You have the right queen now. Goodbye.”

She walked away, and as she did so, a trail of spiders followed her—thin, but thickening. The crowd parted to let them through. Frogs, small and smaller, hopped amid the spiders, adding to the queen’s train. The queen of the spiders brought up the rear, striding with her head utterly high, looking at no one.

There was only murmuring as the exiled queen passed through the crowd. No one raised a hand against her. No one shouted. They were silent until she was out of sight, and the last of the spiders were disappearing after.

“Queen, nothing!” exclaimed Undyne, raising a gauntleted fist. “I’m gonna be EMPRESS!”

Now a good part of the crowd cheered again. Alphys swallowed in fear, wondering if anyone was watching her up here, or wondering where she was.

“Alphys!” yelled Undyne, looking around. “Where is Alphys?”

A few arms pointed. Alphys swallowed again, then pushed the button on her jetpack and rode clumsily back to the ground, landing near Undyne. “I’m here,” she said timidly.

Undyne strode over and looked down at her. She was quiet a moment, and then she asked in a low voice: “I don’t suppose you were planning to tell me about those tapes you supposedly ‘investigated’?”

Alphys shook her head from side to side, scared to look at Undyne or her mutilated ear. “I had them in my basement. I gave them back to Toriel.”

The new empress stood in shock. Alphys could hear her breathing, could see her chest expand and contract.

“Well,” she said. “It looks like I’ll need a new chief adviser.”

Alphys wrung her hands and looked down.

“I just can’t believe it,” said Undyne. “After all that, you wanted her to win?”

“I… I didn’t want her to win… I just wanted a level playing field,” Alphys mumbled.

“You wanted her to win,” repeated Undyne.

What could Alphys say to that? Undyne was rejecting her testimony of her own feelings. She was calling Alphys a liar. And Alphys  _was_ a liar. Maybe she wasn’t lying right this moment… but she’d kept so much hidden from so many people…

“I love you, Undyne,” she pled.

“I love you too, Alphy. But you have to go. You’re fired. You can have, let’s say… three days to pack up your lab. It’s royal property. I’ll need it for the next royal scientist.”

…The lab? But Alphys didn’t have any other home! And… the amalgamates! And her job, too? Her job! Her whole world was falling apart.

“Alphy? You hear me? Is three days enough?”

She felt herself getting faint. She nodded. She made an effort to keep herself together.

Undyne looked up to Mettaton, still on the roof. “Hey Metta! The post of chief adviser’s open! What do you say?”

Alphys didn’t look up to see his answer. “What do I say? I say, what an absolutely  _fabulous_ offer!”

There was a smattering of applause, a little scattered shouting here and there. She didn’t care. She trudged away toward her lab and didn’t look back.

Plumes of magma burst quietly to either side, as they always did. With everyone at the castle, Hotland was quiet. No one here to ask her questions. No one to jeer at her. No one to explain herself to.

Yesterday, both Toriel and Undyne had liked her. Both of them had wanted her to work for them. From yesterday’s perspective, no matter who wound up winning the political battle, Alphys was going to be able to keep on getting along as usual.

Leave it to her to find the  _one_ way to lose in a win/win situation.

[******************]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted, by sheer coincidence, on Inauguration Day, 2017.


	19. The Long Trek Home

**Scene 19: The Long Trek Home**

_or_

“Respite”

 

* * *

 

 

How does one feel, in a position like this?

As she trudged, Toriel tried not to dwell on how she felt. Monsters had perished. The monarchy of the Underground had been taken by coup. The events of today were more important than her own feelings.

Yet as she was leaving the arena of influence, she had little else to contemplate. Her thoughts continually drifted to what she might have done differently. Could she have defended herself more thoroughly? Had it been an error to refer to Undyne in her speech, even without naming her? Could she have built up public support by accepting Mettaton’s lurid invitation to appear on his show? Most important of all, was there anything she could have done to stop the violence sooner? Perhaps it had been wrong for her to make a speech at all. Perhaps, the moment she learned that one of her officials was moving against her, she should have conceded and gone home… just to make sure that no lives would be lost.

And as if that were not enough, a voice within her, for some perverse reason, persisted in asking whether this was the worst day of her life; the worst that Toriel had ever felt. The answer was a resounding no—she had lived through worse—and yet the fact she kept dwelling on the question suggested that there was some truth to it. That what had happened today was uniquely bad in her history; that she had suffered today in a way she had never suffered before.

Was it guilt? Was it that monsters had gone to dust, and that Toriel might have been able to prevent it? She had always been the greatest force for peace that she knew—had she, in her ill-advised return to rule, fallen short of that ideal?

Or had her race failed her? Perhaps that was the reason for the newness of this pain. Toriel had always held an abiding faith for the goodness of monsterkind… and now that faith was damaged. Perhaps it was gone entirely. She was not sure: she had not yet had time to process the pain.

There would be time enough to process everything once she was back at home. Alone in the Ruins, as she had lived for centuries. As she would most likely live out the remainder of her lonely life.

Against her better judgment, as she walked, Toriel began to wonder how she would, one day, die. She did not age, but countless things could still injure her. Just last week, she had cut her finger while sewing. Perhaps an earthquake would one day claim her home. Or a Loox, driven to despair from being picked on, would attack her for trying to help, and happen to nick her heart. Or perhaps she would fall deep into depression and become vulnerable to the slightest malady.

Or, more likely, perhaps more human children would fall into her realm, and she would try harder and harder to keep them safe until one of them eventually killed her.

When she let herself contemplate freely, this seemed by far the most likely possibility. The children she had taken in over the ages were getting increasingly driven to escape, so it seemed. Natalia’s temper had grown so hot in her final days, and Mickey so utterly cruel. The narrow-eyed child had not even stayed for a full day. At the same time, Toriel had redoubled her determination to protect her children. She had wanted so hard to keep the latest child safe that she had used fire against them. Fire! She had been willing to burn her child to within inches of death in order to save them. She had even come close to destroying the exit! If this was the pattern her life was taking, how many more human children could she possibly survive being mother to?

“This is my stop, dearie,” called Muffet from behind her. “Is… would you like me to walk with you a bit further?”

Toriel faced her. “No. Thank you so much for your support, Muffet. But I think that I need to be alone.”

A haunting chitter crescendoed through the line of spiders. “Very well, dear. Just know… you will forever be ‘Your Majesty’ to me.” She curtseyed.

Toriel smiled bitterly. “Thank you, Muffet. I will write. Please do not put yourself in danger on my account.”

“Oh, but I live for danger,” retorted the spider queen, casting a thread toward her lair and pulling herself along it.

“Then do as you please,” said Toriel. “Goodbye.”

The spiders all chittered a final goodbye as she turned away. Toriel’s ears were sweating in the heat, but she did not mind. She would soon pass into Waterfall and cool off. It would be a mercy for her thoughts to cool off, as well.

She had told herself that morning that she would be able to rest easily that night, no matter what happened. Now she knew that had been naive. If she managed to sleep at all, it would only be after endless tossing and turning.

Would Undyne’s rule lead to the death of innocents? It very well might. To begin with, Undyne might succeed somehow in breaking the barrier and lead her army to destruction among the humans. Or, if they managed to imbue themselves with human souls, it might be human innocents who would die. Even if they did not wage war, with the barrier gone, the humans might decide to enter the Underground and slaughter them all. Perhaps  _that_ was how Toriel would die. Then again, if Undyne could not break the barrier, she might expend innocent lives in increasingly desperate attempts to do so. Toriel imagined her sending monsters to Alphys for use as test subjects, ordering the scientist to do anything that was necessary to extract and preserve their souls?

But would Alphys be serving Undyne? After publicly speaking out in favor of Toriel’s authenticity, the scientist’s role might be in doubt. It was all too possible Undyne would select another scientist to serve her—one with fewer scruples. And even apart from the question of the barrier, there were countless ways in which Undyne’s sanguinary reign might cause destruction and death if she allowed herself to be bested by her emotions.

Toriel had come very close to regaining power. She had come close to ensuring that someone responsible sat on the throne. It had been at the cost of lives, yes… but if she had succeeded, might she not have saved many more? Upon reflection, perhaps it had been right not to leave at the first sign of strife.

Perhaps she should have stayed and fought. Perhaps Toriel was a fool for not having raised her own army.

Yet if she had raised an army and ordered them to fight, many more monsters would have died today. Hundreds, perhaps even thousands. Was Toriel really confident that her leadership would have saved so many lives compared to Undyne’s, even if those lives were hers to trade in the first place?

She was not. No sane ruler would be so confident. Toriel had been prepared to oversee a humble reign, one in which most monster institutions would be free to continue as they were, and restrictions would be few. She would have been, as always, a modest, self-deprecating queen. Her only indispensable policy, really, was that of peace. The decision to treat humans as friends, not enemies, would have been her only bold proclamation. She would even have conceded her plan to disband the guard, had resistance been robust—surely she could have found useful things for them to do. It was only peace about which she was adamant. And it was that very value which the people had not been willing to abide.

Why was peace the only issue on which Toriel was immovable? Because she refused to place herself above anyone else. In any other matter she would buckle to the majority, but she would never consent to let innocents be killed in her name, for that would be to place herself infinitely above them. She had sought power only to protect others from being powerless. She would have given anything she had in order to protect the innocent, but that was the one thing the populace had deemed it necessary to strip away.

It had not been the majority, she reminded herself. It was an angry minority that had won the day. And what had given them the power to do so? It was, Toriel decided, the very fact that they were willing to hurt. Peace is helpless against violence unless it enjoys overwhelming numbers; otherwise it has no defense. The light of truth and bravery of the soul were weapons of peace, true, but Toriel had done her best to wield both today, and she had come up short.

She wondered whether the monsters would change their mind. She wondered whether, even now, they were running after her, hoping to bring her back, having rejected Undyne and her savagery.

It was a pleasant thought to dwell on for a while. But it was indulgent. Toriel knew the monsters would not come for her. They had been content to live on the acrid hope of Asgore’s plan for too long to expect that they would reject the malicious ambition of a true leader like Undyne. She would feed them on even fouler dreams, and it was all too easy to believe that her strength would succeed where Asgore’s had failed, and that the barrier would somehow fall, and the Second War of Humans and Monsters would begin.

Did that mean, then, that the monsters had gotten what they deserved?

Toriel tossed her head and sniffled. Poor Dogaressa. Poor Dogamy. They had been nothing but noble. Those two had deserved so much better than their fate. Most of the populace deserved better. Even if they were too frightened to stand up for peace, even if they had been misled by fear and brashness, they still deserved better. But they would not receive it, would they? As unpredictable as Undyne’s reign would be, the one destination Toriel was confident it would not lead to was peace between monsters and humans.

Yet that, she found, was the one thing she wanted the most, deep down. Even more than to see a child of her own through to adulthood, which she still yearned for desperately. Because if she could see the two races reunited again, it would be as though the whole world were her child, and she had shepherded it through its turbulent years into a state of maturity in which it would no longer consume itself in war. So far as Toriel could see, there was no higher aspiration.

She was passing now from Hotland to Waterfall, utterly alone. An unmanned sentry post sat at the border, reminding Toriel of the cold, lonely door in the forest, ignored by almost everyone, through which she would now return.

But then a face emerged from behind the table. “hey. wanna buy a hot dog?”

A tight membrane burst in Toriel’s heart. “Oh, thank heavens! Sans!”

He was smiling, and she could almost see genuine mirth in it. “you must really be in the mood for hot dogs, huh?”

Toriel leaned over the table and embraced the skeleton without asking permission. “Sans, when you fell from the balcony, we could not find you! We feared the worst!”

“well.” He shrugged, holding up a water sausage in a bun. “i had to leave in a hurry, that’s all. i remembered i was late for my shift.”

Toriel assessed the situation. “You realize, do you not, that this is a sentry station, not a hot dog stand?”

He looked at the table in surprise. “huh. well, one out of two ain’t bad.”

She pursed her lips. “I will have that hot dog, regardless. And I will ask you a favor, as well. Will you walk with me back to the door in the forest? I told Muffet that I wanted to be alone, but I now rather regret doing so.”

He came out from behind the stand. “feeling lonely, huh?”

Toriel nodded. She had been more or less content in her hermitage, but now, after revisiting the greater Underground, she did not know how she would cope with returning to a largely solitary life.

“in that case, sure. i’ll walk with you. i hate deserting my post while i’m on duty, but if a friend needs you, what’re ya gonna do?”

So they walked. Sans spoke little, and when he did, it was about little things, like the plants they were passing, or a nearby bench he once left a quiche under for no reason in particular. Toriel could not tell Sans’s age—he seemed sometimes quite venerable, but he never spoke of events that had happened long ago. Somehow, she mused, he had found a way to age richly, growing more than those around him during the same span of years. She wondered whether he had always been this… deadpan, or whether the loss of his brother had blunted him badly.

“you gonna eat that?” he asked.

Toriel looked at the hot dog in her hand and took a large, decisive bite of it. It was good, despite being a bit cold. “Yes, I am going to eat it.”

Sans grinned. “good. you know what they call a hot dog in a hole?”

Was this a joke? “No. What do they call it?”

“a hot diggety dog.” From somewhere, Toriel heard a drum snare and the crash of distant cymbals. Well, it was no stranger than those three sudden bells had been.

“That is a rather silly thing to call it,” Toriel chuckled.

“not any sillier than this guy i heard about who wouldn’t let his sister write any ‘i’s or ‘j’s. you know what they called him?”

Toriel smiled in anticipation. “What did they call him, Sans?”

Sans shrugged. “a dot hog.”

Toriel snickered and giggled. “Sans, you are lifting my mood!” she accused.

“sorry. i know the world lost a couple of good dogs today. maybe we shouldn’t call ‘em hot dogs at all. you know, the original name for those things is ‘red hots.’”

Toriel wondered whether that was true. “They do not seem especially red,” she observed.

“they are if you cook ‘em right. even so, it’s better than the _original_ original name.”

“Oh? And what was that?”

“…head rots.” Again, the sound of cymbals.

Toriel laughed and finished her snack. A sad thought occurred to her. “Do you suppose they bothered to gather Dogamy and Dogaressa’s dust, so they could be given proper funerals?”

Sans became distant again. “could be. if they did, they probably got mixed together.”

Toriel bowed her head. “It is just as well. They would have wanted it that way, I think.”

The frosty air of Snowdin grazed their faces. It was a welcome change. The numbness it portended was welcome, too. Toriel had been told that the child—her child—had killed the skeleton sentry near this very spot. She looked at the ground as she walked, and was tempted to ask Sans about it. But she did not.

He gripped the red scarf around his neck a little tighter.

There were monsters here. Most folk in Snowdin Town had not traveled to the capital to hear Toriel’s address. Though it was only a few hours’ walk, it felt like an expedition to the end of the world. Toriel understood that feeling—she had experienced it on her way to the castle, and only Sans’s company made the return trip pass slightly faster.

“Look! It’s the queen!” shouted a bunny lady with a smaller bunny on a leash.

Toriel did not want to deal with this, but wasted no time in replying. “I am not the queen any longer,” she declared. “I have been overthrown.”

“What?” exclaimed a stag standing cavalierly.

“How could that happen?” asked a polar bear.

“You will hear the news from New Home soon enough,” said Toriel. “Undyne is queen now.”

“She really did it?” someone cried. “Undyne won?”

“Ha, ha! Guess the folks didn’t like Big Bossie and her human-loving ways!”

“How can you speak that way in the presence of the queen? Be respectful!”

“You heard her yourself! She’s not the queen anymore! Hey Bossie, good riddance!”

Toriel paced onward, ears closed to the growing throng. Sans, though, stepped between her and them, legs spread and hands plunged in his pockets. Toriel caught a flash of blue in his eye. “hey. queen or not, she’s still a lady. you treat her with respect.”

She looked up smiling, tickled to be protected in that way. The status she had inwardly retained for all these centuries, even while telling her children that she was nothing but a funny old lady, was finally gone—yet she still had someone willing to treat her like royalty for a little while yet.

“What are you, her bodyguard?” asked a tiny slime gel.

“if that gets you to leave her alone, sure.”

“Your majesty, may I interview you for the local newspaper?” asked a lady with a huge orange snout.

“what do you say, tori?”

Toriel was tempted for a moment, but no. “I have said all I needed to say. Go to New Home, and they will repeat my speech to you. I will not make it again.”

The reporter nodded and hurried off.

As they passed by a bar called Grillby’s, a suited figure made of flame emerged and stepped forward, wordless. He placed a burning hand on his breast and bowed his head.

There were more shouts as a small crowd gathered, but none dared to pester Toriel with Sans continually keeping them at bay. No one was moved to test him, thankfully.

“But are you ever coming back?” called another bunny lady as they left town. “If you did, you could stay at my inn!”

“I have no plans ever to return,” said Toriel. And that was the last she spoke to the residents of Snowdin Town.

The landscape was bleak and chilly. But Toriel’s robe and heavy natural coat protected her, and Sans did not seem to mind the cold. They walked silently for miles, letting the wind do all the talking for them.

At last came the final stretch of forest before the door. It seemed very quiet there, the row of trees on either side providing cover from the wind and snow. Their footsteps were the loudest sound. Toriel imagined herself in Sans’s position, walking this long corridor just to see where it led, and later returning to use the old door he found there for knock knock jokes. He was a remarkable person, that was certain.

They came to a halt before the door. “I suppose it is time for goodbye,” said Toriel. “I cannot express how much I appreciated your company. And the support you gave me before my speech… the way you protected me from Undyne… all I can say is, thank you very much.”

“no problem,” said Sans. “it was nice knowing you. hey, you mind if i come in? i’d kinda like to see your digs.”

Somehow, Toriel had not thought to invite him in, but the idea appealed to her. “I do not mind at all! Please come in and warm up for a while. I will make a pot of tea.”

“i’m not much of a tea drinker, but that sounds good anyway.” He waited for her to lead him inside.

They emerged from the long tunnel and went into the living room, where Toriel promptly collapsed into her chair. It was as the end of an era, even though it had lasted only a week and a half, and at the same time, it almost seemed her time away from home had been a dream. “It is almost as if I could pretend that none of this ever happened, and that Asgore is still ruling in the capital,” she said with eyes closed.

“yeah. and pap’s out maintaining his puzzles and looking for humans,” added Sans.

Toriel sat for a long time, longer than she had intended. She realized then that she was being rude, that she had a guest, but still she couldn’t quite bring herself to leave her reverie. Sans took a seat at the little table and waited. He seemed to have all the time there was.

Should she have remained here? Should she never have left? It was almost an un-question for Toriel right now. For her, at this moment, it was almost as if she never had.

A thought came to her that she had barely given any attention to, busy with her quest to unite the monsters. Her child. Her child had made it to the surface. She did not even know their name, and they had barely started to get to know each other, but still she could not help thinking of the narrow-eyed child as hers. Now the poor thing was wandering alone… looking for who knew what… or perhaps with their parents, somewhere, reunited… although that was almost impossible to think about.

Toriel stood up slowly with a sigh. “I am sorry, Sans. I promised you tea. I will go and heat up the kettle.”

“it’s all right, tori,” he said quietly. “take as long as you want.”

She did take her time. But it was not long before the routine of making tea filled her senses, and Toriel was moving at her normal pace again. She went to the living room and quickly sparked a fire in the fireplace. She was starting to warm up. She set out saucers and cups and sugar and poured the tea, all while Sans sat immobile. He reached for the cup and took a sip. Liquid dribbled through his body and out his jaw. Toriel stared in concern, then embarrassment. Then she giggled. Of course a skeleton could not drink tea. And yet, what had he done with all the ketchup he had consumed at the castle? Perhaps he preferred ketchup because it was viscous enough that he could absorb it before it spilled away.

“sorry. said i wasn’t much of a tea drinker.”

Toriel watched the golden liquid drip from his ribs in childish amazement. She sighed. “That is quite all right, Sans. Does it at least make you feel warmer?”

“oh yeah,” he said. “i feel a lot warmer, in here with you. thanks for letting me in.”

Toriel sipped from her own cup and felt soothed. She smiled slyly. “Would you like some sugar?”

“sugar? sure.” Sans held out his cup.

She decided not to ask whether he could taste it.

When the tea was done, Toriel brought the dishes to the kitchen and set them soaking in the sink. She returned and sat in her easy chair. Now, at long last, it was time for goodbye. “Thank for you keeping me company a while, Sans.”

“my pleasure,” he said. “i don’t suppose you’ve got any dessert?”

Toriel’s mouth curled at one corner. “I think I may have some leftover winterberry pie. It will be somewhat stale by now, but if you do not mind…?”

“nah, stale is good. thanks, tori.”

She fetched a piece of cool old pie for each of them. They ate it happily. When they were done, Sans stood up. He would be going now, Toriel thought.

“that was good. feel like giving me a tour of the place?”

Well, perhaps not just yet. “Of course! But there is not much to see. It is exactly like my house in New Home, which you have already visited.”

“two houses, and they’re exactly the same, huh? that’s so you, tori.”

“Asgore and I decided it together,” she told him. But she showed him the kitchen, and the hallway with the guest room, and her own room, where they lingered a while so that she could read him some puns from her diary. She sat at her desk while he lay on the bed, listening and adding his own wisecracks from time to time.

“hey tori?”

“Yes, Sans?”

“i’m really sorry to ask, but… do you think i could spend the night here? i’m feeling pretty bushed after that long walk.”

Toriel smiled tenderly. “Of course you may, Sans. You may sleep in the guest room.” She looked at how comfortable he was, spread out on her bed. “Or if you wish, you may sleep in here, and  _I_ will sleep in the guest room.”

His grin got wider. “you’re the best, tori.” And he settled more deeply into her pillows.

It was not a bad experience, sleeping in her own guest room. It put her in touch, so she fancied, with what her children must each have experienced on their first night staying with her. She imagined herself as well as she could as one of them, experiencing the uncertainty of meeting a large, fire-wielding monster such as herself, and then coming to realize that the monster loved them. She wondered how  _she_ would behave in such a situation, far from home. But in the end, there was simply too much about the human experience that she did not know for her to put herself fully in their place.

Still, it was a worthwhile exercise. She dreamed of her childhood, and she fooled with toys a little in the morning, and she made breakfast for Sans while he slept late. Though he was skeletal, he still absorbed food directly into his body, and she was happy to feed him one final time.

After breakfast, he stood up, brushed his clothes off, and belched slightly. “thanks a bunch, tori. hey, i’ve been thinking about that collection of books of yours. i wouldn’t mind taking a look at it.”

Was he simply loathe to leave? “Of course, Sans. I should be delighted to share them with you! There are quite a few little gems in my collection…”

Toriel told him about all her books at some length, and Sans plucked a joke book from the shelf that he had found especially interesting. “so, you think i could stay a while and read some of this one? it’s always nice getting the chance to bone up on my jokes.”

Toriel took a happy breath, feeling tears for some reason in the corners of her eyes. “You may certainly stay a while to read it. You may even sit in my chair if you wish. I will go and run some errands in town.” It embarrassed her slightly to say ‘in town’ about a ruined place whose only inhabitants now were tiny monsters squatting in the dilapidated dwellings, but it pleased her just the same. A ruined town was still a town, was it not?

“thanks, tori,” he said, hopping into her chair with the book.

When she returned several hours later, Sans was still sitting there, chuckling at jokes from the end of the book. The fireplace and kitchen both seemed cleaner than when she had left, but when she asked Sans about it, he said that he had been in her chair the whole time.

He finally finished the book. “well, since i’ve been here all this time already, guess i might as well stay for dinner,” he said.

Toriel laughed quietly to herself, her hopeful feeling growing. “Of course you may, Sans. Would you be willing to help me chop ingredients?”

“sure. just tell me what to do.”

He was perfectly good at following instructions, it turned out, even if he did not take any initiative of his own. After dinner, Toriel sat back and looked expectantly at her guest over the table.

He looked around and stretched. “wow, tori. i hate to say it, but i’m  _still_ feeling pretty beat. you run a tight ship here. and it’s cold outside. you think maybe i could stay another night?”

The huge grin that had been waiting in Toriel all day slowly spread across her face. She stood up and said distinctly, with all the warmth she could muster: “Sans… you may stay here for as long as you would like.”

A beat passed. “really?”

“Yes,” said Toriel. “You are quite welcome!”

“‘cause i wouldn’t want to put you out or anything.”

Tears returned to her eyes. “Sans,” Toriel chided. “I think you know perfectly well that you are not putting me out. I am  _happy_ to have you here.”

He leaned back. “yeah? ‘cause i’m happy to be here. it’s a nice place, and my house back in snowdin is feeling awful empty.”

It seemed that she would have to say it explicitly. Very well. “Sans… would you like to move in with me?”

His eyes looked like windows into space. “move in? you sure about that?”

“Positive,” said Toriel.

Sans shrugged. “sure. not like i’ve got anything better to do.”

Toriel’s eyes were moist now. She would  _not_ be alone. “Well, then! Now that that is decided, what do you say I bake us a snail pie to celebrate?”

“that sounds terrific. like i always say, a good pie is hard to come by. you want any help in the kitchen?”

She considered. “Normally, I will be glad to have your help in the kitchen, Sans. But I think that I would like to bake this pie alone.” To give herself time to absorb the idea of having a housemate… and to make it a token of her appreciation for everything Sans had done. If he wished to thank her in kind for anything she had done for him, he could find his own way to do so.

Unless, perhaps, moving in with her  _was_ his way of thanking her. It did not seem completely against the grain of his character.

“alright, tori,” he said, getting up and heading toward the hallway. “in that case, i’m gonna take a nap. wake me up when it’s ready, okay?”

Toriel smiled. “Of course.”

But Toriel had told a tiny lie. She did not wake Sans up when the pie was ready. Instead, she left a piece steaming on a plate by his bedside, waiting for him to discover it when he woke up.

After all, she had never claimed to be  _completely_ honest, had she?

[+++++++++++++++++++]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans has a drinking problem. :-}
> 
> In the name of endings and new beginnings, may your 2017 be full of pleasant surprises!


	20. Goodbye My Friends, Goodbye

  **Scene 20: Goodbye, My Friends, Goodbye**

_or_

“It’s Sunny Somewhere Else”

 

* * *

 

 

> “Dear Undyne,
> 
> You might not be expecting to hear from me. And maybe it’s cowardly of me not to go say this in person. But I feel so weak. I feel like I’m a piece of paper and the bonds between my cellulose molecules have been dissolved by water, and I could tear apart if I fall the wrong way. I’m afraid. Please forgive me, Undyne. You know I’ve always been your friend.
> 
> I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that, right?
> 
> If you don’t want me as your scientist, then does that mean you don’t want me for anything? I mean, science is what I do best. I’d hate to think everything was over between us… that I’d never get to teach you human history again… that we’d never watch TV or play collectible punch cards again…
> 
> You know this lab is my home, right? Are you really kicking me out of the one place I feel comfortable? The one place I can be alone and feel safe? Is that really what you want?
> 
> Because if you don’t want comfort or safety for me anymore… then I can’t help but think… you don’t want me anymore.
> 
> I gave you the blasters. I told you how to use them. I made some notes on how you could be a good queen… they weren’t very thorough but I was working on it—that’s the important part. I helped you feel better when you were down, and I wanted to keep helping you feel better. You said we were in this together to the end. You even kissed me! And now… now, you think I wanted you to lose? Just because I told the crowd Toriel wasn’t lying? I didn’t. Please believe me, I swear, I didn’t!
> 
> I was just doing one of those dumb scientist things I do. You know how I am. Yelling at the television when some movie gets a science fact wrong. I’m always trying to clear up mistakes. I _knew_ she was the real queen. You wouldn’t have wanted to get the throne through deception and fraud, would you?
> 
> ~~Would you?~~
> 
> So really, I wasn’t betraying you at all. I was… I was just speaking out, the way I do sometimes when someone’s about to get something wrong. …Did I say speaking out? I mean ‘geeking out’. I was just geeking out at real life! Fun fact, folks—that monster really is Toriel. FYI. The More You Know.
> 
> But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t on board for your revolution! I just… didn’t want to let it happen for the wrong reasons. I know you’ll be a much better queen than she ev”

Alphys clenched her fingers and crushed the letter into a creased tangle. She sat there in pain for a few seconds, then hurled it away and went to draw the hot water for Swirl’s bath.

* * *

“tear in theyou  
@ areSalt csan tears  
@ @ water~ me ba bathor  
@ @ @ fealthy healze tzreatment?” asked Swirl curiously.

Alphys looked up. “Oh—Sorry, Swirl. I didn’t mean to… to cry in your bath. There isn’t that much salt in a couple tears, though, is there?”

“worth yourfault  
worse th%re salt  
weig thryur heart”

She could tell it cared. She just couldn’t tell what in the world it was saying. But she stroked the bow-legged, chitinous amalgamate tenderly. “You’re so sweet… so kind. I w-wish I could help you.”

It stood unexpectedly in the water and peered at Alphys.

She struggled for words. “W-well, I can’t,” she said. “I can’t help any of you. What you used to be? It—it’s lost.” She leaned forward cautiously. “I’m sorry.”

A chalk-white mandible stroked her cheek. “Taekm us\PLEcore \ atkeASE me h%me.”

Alphys pressed her hand against Swirl and bowed her head. “I will,” she murmured.

The amalgamate’s upper body jerked up with a sound like water running backwards. “yRE*E*al&sLY?”

She took a deep breath. “I have to. I have no choice.”

“N#o ch0Tak iceMe t to thHoo-Ray rCiOvReEr.”

Alphys drew back and stood up straight. “I beg your pardon?”

“…tHe RcIoVrEeR.”

“…I’m sorry, Swirl. You need to finally d-decide whether to go back to the river or the Core. I know it’s hard to… to argue with yourself? But I can’t divide you back into what you were… and I can only take you to one place.”

The creature was frozen, craned forward. It settled down into the bath with a swift plop.

“I’m sorry,” said Alphys.

“Thec 0Re,” said Swirl. “I wiLl g0t to tHe CoRe.”

Alphys bent forward and sobbed with relief. This time, no tears came.

* * *

She made sure all of them were fed and cared for, then gathered them in the ward. “Hey, guys! Can someone find DisTemPur? Somnambular, can you make sure no one leaves? I’m going to go gather up the rest…”

Endogeny started barking. Alphys decided to let it. She found the reluctant cat-dog amalgamate in the second place she looked, clinging to the top of the curtains.

“Um… can you come down, DisTemPur? We’re having a meeting in the big room… it’s important.”

“b0I!! nevvar forgt (lol)”

Alphys rustled a foil bag. “I have popato chisps!”

The cat-dog stuck out several of its nine tongues. “tHbPpTtTTbBTdT!”

She plucked out a chisp to show its differently colored sides. “They’re sparkly!”

DisTemPur’s eyes grew covetous. “$parqkLY? they muss be MYNE.!” She leapt from the curtains onto the white lab coat and buried her head in the bag. “NoOOm nrum nromm,” she said.

Alphys struggled to keep her balance. “Um, okay!” She hurried back to the ward and found all fourteen amalgamates waiting more or less patiently. Somnambular had tucked several of them into bed, but Reaper Bird was making trouble.

“No pecking!” said Alphys. “Um… friends… I, uh… I know you’ve all been here for a long time… and a lot of you miss your families a lot…”

“Dare to remember,” echoed Lemon Bread.

“Uhh… right. So.” Alphys worked up her courage and cleared her throat. “I have some good news! And, um… I guess it’s also bad news. But! Um, let’s… focus on the good? It turns out that I’ve, um… lost the lab. Which means that we can’t… we can’t stay here anymore. So, um… I’m going to have to take you all home.”

A chill wind blew from the body of Snowdrake’s mother; FlipWhip started flipping and several of the others started to writhe. The beds creaked under their weight.

“I know! I know… I haven’t made you better. I’ve just made you… as stable as I could. But, honestly, I don’t think there’s anything more I can do! I’ve tried to make filters that respond to your souls, but there’s too much that’s similar about the parts of you, and the filters still let through mixed-up parts. Really, an identity is… really complicated, and I don’t think there’s any way to ever sort you out. I’m sorry. I mean, think about it—if we did have a way to know which part of you belongs with each monster you were made from, that would be like… like knowing exactly what a monster’s personality should be… and if we knew that, then…” Alphys sighed and slumped. “Then we wouldn’t really need monsters. Just machines.”

“An entity cannot be free  
entity cannot be free of  
cannot be free of its  
be free of its need  
free of its need for  
of its need for itself,” said Arachnamate, rising high under its bedsheet.

“Well, maybe it doesn’t make sense,” said Alphys, doing her best to be brave. “Anyway, it’s too late now. I’m not the royal scientist anymore. I’ve been fired. I’m going to take you all home now.”

“…home?” asked Snowdrake’s mother.

“ **#Come join the fun#,** ” crooned the Memoryheads.

“I can’t! I still have to…” What _did_ she still have to do? Maybe Alphys _should_ join the Memoryheads, whatever that meant. It was probably soothing, or they wouldn’t recommend it so often.

“p0PopAtO chrissps!” cried DisTemPur.

A clamor broke out. “Chisps! Chisps!” chanted several of the amalgamates.

Alphys went to the vending machine and entered her secret code. A pile of bags fell out. “All right! You win. You get all the rest of the chisps. Just be patient! I need to take you in groups. Wh-who wants to go home first?”

She expected Arachnamate to raise a pedipalp, but it was silent.

“…Is there hope?” asked Lemon Bread.

“…I don’t know,” admitted Alphys. “It depends on what you hope for, I guess.” She didn’t want to ask herself what she was hoping for just now. “I’ll take you back to your sister… how about that?”

“…A memory of joy,” Lemon Bread replied.

Alphys smiled a little. That was the nicest thing she’d heard from those twelve voiceboxes in a long time.

* * *

 

Alphys took home the amalgamates who lived in central Waterfall. There were no really hard explanations to give there, so it felt like a warm-up. The turtles and frogs didn’t have anything to say about their family members having intermingled, and the Temmies… well, she wasn’t sure the Temmies could actually tell the difference, or whether they even realized there was someone new among them. But Shyren was harder. Alphys had to try to meet Shyren’s eyes and find some sort of answer when she tried to speak.

“She knows the difference,” Lemon Bread echoed.

“Well… uh, she ought to! That means she remembers you.” She addressed the silent sea monster. “But, um… you’re right, she’s not the same as before. There are a dozen other small monsters in there with her… but your sister is dominant!”

“…” said Shyren.

“She wants to know why,” said Lemon Bread eerily.

Why? Why she was dominant, or…? “Well, it was an accident… I had a lot of souls who had, uh, fallen down, and I… tried injecting them with… determination extracted from human souls? Just in case they could be, um, used as vessels? I admit I wasn’t really thinking of bringing them back… but somehow, that’s what it did, and… everything was going great, until they, um… fell into each other.”

Shyren’s body—or was it another creature, supporting her?—straightened into a more erect S. “…” she said intensely.

“She says nothing,” said Lemon Bread.

“Oh,” said Alphys. “Okay. Well. I’ll leave you two to get reacquainted.” She moved to go, but turned back with a thought. “Oh! And, uh… just in case you’re angry at me… I got fired! And my life is basically over. So, um… maybe that’ll cheer you up? Aheh.”

She waited for an answer, but none came. So Alphys made her way onward. The sound of gentle, slightly dissonant humming rose in harmony behind her.

* * *

The dump. It was nearby, so Alphys stopped in. It had a way of inspiring her when things were uncertain. Maybe some object there would suggest what to do next. Maybe she’d find some huge piece of garbage she could use as the shell for a new home?

Somehow, though, the dump seemed less attractive than usual. Not as vibrant. Did that even make sense? Maybe it was just in her head? It was never really pretty or anything, but today everything was just… a mess.

Oh, right. Woshua was dead. There was no one to sort the garbage anymore.

* * *

“But why—why didn’t you just _tell_ us?!” demanded the check-faced man.

“…I… I’m a coward? And I thought you might blame me for not keeping them separate and keeping it from happening in the first place.”

The man’s green and white facial squares turned red and green, respectively. “And why _didn’t_ you?”

“…I had no idea it was a possibility? I mean, you keep patients separated if they have different diseases, but these patients all had the same condition…”

The checked face swiveled sixty degrees. “You’re a scientist! Aren’t you supposed to anticipate possibilities like this?”

Alphys clutched her hands at her chest. “Would _you_ have anticipated it?”

“Probably not, but I’m not a scientist!”

“…Well, if it makes you any happier, I was fired, and the future looks bleak and empty!”

“…Thanks. That does help a bit,” said the man, his colors and rotational phase returning to normal.

* * *

“Say! Isn’t that Dr. Alphys?” one core worker asked another. “I heard Undyne dumped her!”

“Dumped? Were they even a unit?”

“No, no… from her royal post! I guess Undyne doesn’t believe in science.”

“Interesting! Well, what is science, at its foundation?”

“Isn’t it a system for furthering the collective body of understanding by making rigorous observations and developing them into models based on natural law?”

“That sounds about right. Do you think Undyne can suplex all that?”

“She probably thinks she can just yell at the observations to develop _themselves_ into cohesive models.”

“Oh yeah, you’re probably right. What does she need a scientist for?”

“Well, I hope they’re still friends.”

A third worker approached. “ _I_ heard she betrayed the Empress and now they’re not friends anymore!”

“We could go over and ask her, you know.”

“Nah, I’m behind quota. Got a dozen more rooms to rotate by quitting time.”

“Well, I think I’m gonna miss science. It was pretty cool. Still… at least we still have technology, right?”

“Right! So we’ll be okay.”

Alphys entered the next room as the voices faded. She quietly released Swirl, who scuttulated over to the ducts and contorted itself in order to fit inside. It peeked back at Alphys. “ThHoAmNeK YaOtU AlLaPsHtY. MmIy soucl fomort hearhth ealses the correb oeurden.” Two long tentacles reached out to hug the doctor.

She reached up and found herself swinging. “Uhp! You’re welcome, Swirl. Um… I’ll miss giving you baths! You were… you were my friend.”

Swirl let Alphys swing a few seconds more, then released her. “Yowu are watw ater warrm.” With these words, it darted up the duct to rejoin the Breedles and disappeared forever.

Well, there went another friend.

* * *

Alphys stepped into the tiny residential cell on the upper level hallway of the Core.

Final Froggit was already there, waiting for her.

“I… I p-presume you know why I’m here?” stammered Alphys.

Final Froggit knew exactly why she was there.

She removed the hood from Reaper Bird’s perch. Reaper Bird flipped upside-down and started to grow a head out of its feet, but failed. “W-well, then you know who this is, I guess,” said Alphys.

Final Froggit hopped up and down ominously.

“…I’m guessing you’re wondering why I didn’t answer your letters? I, uh… I was afraid.” She paused, waiting for a reaction. “I was afraid of what would happen when everyone found out.”

The Reaper Bird stretched out and said three things at once. The cell was filled with the smell of mustard seed.

“…Well anyway. They should be okay now. Just… feed them birdseed. Somehow, their dietary needs all merged together and now they only eat birdseed. Oh, and… don’t pick on them.”

Final Froggit nodded, understanding Alphys perfectly. She was intimidated by its strength.

“Okay… I guess I’ll be leaving now. Good luck… and I’m sorry about this. I really am.”

Reaper Bird’s eyes deformed, revolved, and reformed on the other side. Final Froggit sat there, contemplating the sight. Alphys got the sense that it had more to learn from this world.

Well, it could join the club. Alphys felt that way all the time.

* * *

The giant mainframe that ran the Core, filled with multicolored vacuum tubes, stood open before Alphys in a dusty gray room. She opened the sack containing the Memoryheads and emptied them gently onto the dashboard.

“ **#Lorum ipsum docet#,** ” they said, wiggling around.

“I know. But you’re free now. You can go back into cyberspace and do what you’ve always done.”

One of them wriggled over to a pair of vacuum tubes and tried to wedge itself between. Too large, it turned back and looked in consternation at Alphys.

“I know,” she said. “You’re bigger than you used to be. That’s because there were dozens of you, and you c-coalesced into just three. But… but maybe you can find ways to control the systems just by sticking to the big spaces? Or maybe you can find a way to flatten yourselves really thin? Tr… try to think of this as an upgrade!”

“ **#It’s a real get together#** ,” said the three of them with slight syncopation.

“Exactly!” said Alphys. “Now you’ll never be alone.”

They all turned to face her, standing on their tails. “ **#Come join us#.** ”

She stood erect and breathed. “I can’t.”

They stared.

“What you do… just isn’t what I do. I wish I could. I s-simply can’t join you.”

They stared for one last moment. “ **#Be seeing you#,** ” they all said, and leapt into the mainframe.

Be seeing her? Somehow, she doubted that. As they swam away, Alphys gently shut the access panel.

* * *

After delivering the second batch of amalgamates to their homes, Alphys wandered through the Core’s sewer grid, as she sometimes did when she was feeling low. After an hour or so, she found herself at the dump again. She walked through the disheveled piles, touching things with her hands and tail as she passed, but not really feeling any spark. Maybe _she_ should take over organizing the garbage! It could be her new calling. It wasn’t a pretty job, but someone had to do it!

Well… except that no one but her really cared about how the dump was organized. So really, no one had to do it. If Alphys decided to take over where Woshua had left off, she’d just be the crazy girl living in the dump and playing with trash.

Bratty and Catty would probably stop by at some point and see her there. They’d all catch up. What would they think when they learned what had become of their little genius neighbor?

They’d probably laugh and congratulate themselves on not getting into science when they were young, like Alphys had tried to get them to do.

No good. Alphys hustled off, back to the painful job she couldn’t leave unfinished.

* * *

“(OoOoO), barked Endogeny, leaping into the snow.

Alphys looked around the barren landscape. “Well… I kind of thought the other dogs would be around here...” A distant yip cut the air as an energetic white dog dashed by, several snow poffs away.

Endogeny jumped in excitement and vaulted over the nearest poff, wagging its tails. Alphys stopped in the minute of saying something and watched it go.

A few moments later, she saw the two of them tearing across the dunes, pausing now and then to craft precarious cylinders in the snow.

“Byebye,” she whispered, feeling frost on the roof of her mouth. Another one gone.

* * *

“You wanna tell me what the big idea is?” demanded the comedian.

“Um… the big idea?”

“Leaving me hanging for weeks? No answer to my letters? No calls, no nothing?”

Alphys flushed and pressed her tail against the resort floor. “I’m sorry. I really should have gotten back in touch. I just… wanted to wait and see what happened! Sometimes things work themselves out when you just wait for long enough. And… this kind of did!”

“Yeah. My old maid came back. And believe me, I appreciate having her back, even if she is mixed up with fifteen other people. I love her. She’s my better half. But doc, why couldn’t you drop me a line sooner? You think I was gonna yell?”

“I… I thought you might be mad, yes. Or terrified… I was hoping I could fix them, and then no one would have to be scared…”

“Doc, I’m not scared of Freezy. It’s just folks in there with her. I like folks. I make a living entertaining folks. But I’ll tell you what I’m scared of, doc. I’m scared I’ve lost my son forever. ‘Cause Freezy? She was the ointment that kept us from scuffling. Without her, Snowy and me fought every day. Until in the end? He ran away to go live in the forest. Now, if you’d let us know Freezy was still around? We might’ve managed to hang together ‘til she could come back. As it is, because a certain _yellow lizard_ dragged her heels, I may never see my son again. _That’s_ what I’m scared of.”

“I’m so sorry,” said Alphys, cringing. “But… maybe if you work together, the two of you can find him? And, uh… if it’s any consolation, I lost my home today, and my post, and my career. So if you want me punished… done! T-talk about gratification, huh?”

The comedian loomed over her, face stony. “…That’s not funny.”

* * *

“Are you kidding? Are you zotting kidding me? He was alive the whole time?! We held a _funeral_ for him! Without dust!!”

“I’m so sorry,” said Alphys. “I’m a giant twit. But if it’s any comfort, I lost all my hopes and dreams today, so at least there’s that.”

* * *

“I can’t believe you injected monsters with determination from humans. That’s unnatural! It’s so wrong!”

“M-maybe so? In any case, I’m definitely getting punished. I’m having the worst day of my life. So, uh… score one for karma!”

* * *

“As a slime, I’m outraged!”

“Well, a-as a lizard, I’m… contrite? Maybe that counts for something?”

* * *

“You meddled with innocent lives! You’ve invaded and perverted the fundamental nature of the most sacred thing in existence—the soul! Doctor, I am appalled! You ought to be in jail!”

“Well, no one’s p-putting me in jail, but… today I did lose my home, my job, my honor, my crush, my reputation, and… and soon I won’t have a friend left in the world. I’m filled to the brink with regrets and I don’t have anything left to live for. So is that good enough?”

“It isn’t a matter of—”

“ _Is that good enough?”_

* * *

Alphys was at the dump again. She didn’t remember how she got there, but that wasn’t really remarkable, was it? Garbage always managed to find its way to the dump.

This time, she didn’t pause to examine the garbage. She didn’t slow down. She walked straight to the waterfall. It was the reason she’d been coming here; she just hadn’t realized it until now.

Behind her sat everything. Before her was miasma. Above, civilization. Below, abyss.

She had thought that garbage was her element. Maybe she’d been too kind to herself in thinking that. Maybe her true element was what was below her feet now.

Void.

Alphys stood on the brink.

* * *

But there was one last friend to say goodbye to. Arachnamate. The most cogent of her patients, the spider amalgam had also been the one most eager to return home, the one who confronted Alphys regularly in the halls, asking politely how much longer it had to wait. Yet when Alphys had asked for volunteers to go home, Arachnamate had said nothing. Few by few, she’d taken the other amalgamates back to where their dominant personalities had come from, and Arachnamate had consistently stepped back and allowed her to take them instead of itself. Now, it waited alone.

Long ago, Bratty and Catty had made it clear they didn’t want Alphys anymore. Her friends from the nursery were long gone. Her coworkers in the Hotland library had probably all forgotten her. Llewyn didn’t talk to her anymore. Her Undernet forums were quiet. Gaster was gone. Asgore was gone. Even CoolSkeleton95 was gone. Her friendship with Mettaton was over. Her friendship with Undyne… was over. And now, even the amalgamates were gone.

Arachnamate was the very last friend Alphys had left.

She walked through the green halls until the sound of a thousand tiny pedipalps warmed her heart, and the fused spider was there. It stopped before Alphys and sat, examining her, as if surprised somehow.

Alphys had no words left. She just stood regarding this abominable creation, trying not to think about her day or her feelings. Trying, for one brief moment, just to be.

The chalk white mouthparts tensed; the dozens of tiny eyes blinked in waves that passed from one side of the face to the other.

Alphys slumped. “Come on, Arachnamate. You’re the last one. Time to go home.”

“No,” said the spider.

Bafflement. “Wh-what do you mean, no? You need to go back to the lair.”

It stepped forward, lifted fifteen slender filament-like legs, and used them to stroke Alphys gently. “No, I  
No, I cannot  
No, I cannot leave  
No, I cannot leave you  
No, I cannot leave you, Doctor.  
I cannot leave you, Doctor. At  
cannot leave you, Doctor. At this  
leave you, Doctor. At this time  
you, Doctor. At this time it  
Doctor. At this time it is  
*** ABSORBED ***  
At this time it is not  
this time is not safe  
time it is not safe for  
it is not safe for you  
is not safe for you to  
not safe for you to be  
safe for you to be alone.”

Alphys swallowed. What was it doing? “I need to take you home,” she insisted. “We can’t stay here. Someone else is getting the lab.” In the back of her mind, she noted with distant interest that it was funny how you don’t stutter anymore when you’ve lost hope.

“for you to be alone. Where  
you to be alone? Where will  
to be alone. Where will you  
be alone. Where will you go,  
alone. Where will you go, Doctor?”

She refused to think about it. “I don’t know. I’m just not sure.” _Yes, you are._

“Where will you go, Doctor? I  
will you go, Doctor? I will  
you go, Doctor? I will stay  
go, Doctor? I will stay with  
Doctor? I will stay with you  
I will stay with you then.”

A sob overtook Alphys. “No,” she said, her voice shaking. “No! You _wanted_ to go home. You _miss_ Muffet and the other spiders. You’ve been asking practically every day when you’ll get to go back!’

“will stay with you then. I  
stay with you then. I can  
with you then. I can wait  
you then. I can wait a  
then. I can wait a while  
I can wait a while more.”

Alphys hugged the tiny filaments gently, worried she might break them. Then she pushed herself away. “No, Arachnamate. Th-this is ridiculous! I’ll be fine on my own.” _No, you won’t._

“can wait a while more. Are  
wait a while more. Are you  
a while more. Are you certain,  
while more. Are you certain, Doctor?”

Alphys hung her hands before her belly and nodded repeatedly. “I was alone before I had y-you guys, wasn’t I? I’m at my best alone, really. I’m an introvert! That means I get my strength from… from solitude.”

The legs stroked her once more and returned to the floor.

“more. Are you certain, Doctor? Well,  
Are you certain, Doctor? Well, if  
you certain, Doctor? Well, if you  
certain, Doctor? Well, if you insist.  
Doctor? Well, if you insist.  
Well, if you insist.”

She put a hand on the spider’s body and guided it toward the elevator. “I insist. It’ll… make me happy to think of you back at home, with the others… all of them so glad to have you back, curious about… everything you can do now…”

Arachnamate moved docilely. The two of them rose to the public lab. As they walked out the door, Arachnamate began to hum.

Alphys examined her companion. “Y-you know, I always kind of… liked your humming. I would hum along, except I’m… I’m terrible at music. But that doesn’t keep me from… aheh. Enjoying it.”

The spider rose high on its myriad limbs and sang with a carefully interwoven voice, harmonizing with itself. They ascended to the level of the spider queen in an elevator filled with the musical story of a girl eating curds and whey.

“I… I never understood why Muffet took her name from that rhyme,” said Alphys. “If Muffet was the girl, and not the spider.”

Arachnamate left the elevator and set a few dozen slender legs compassionately down on Alphys’s back. “…and scared Miss Muffet away! Because  
scared Miss Muffet away! Because the  
Miss Muffet away! Because the web  
Muffet away! Because the web connects  
away! Because the web connects us  
*** ABSORBED ***  
Because the web connects us all.”

She looked back with longing. The spider amalgamate kissed her on the cheek—a sharp little kiss with sharp mouthparts, like the sting of a child’s poke. She touched her face. It felt nice. She watched as her last companion moved away down the catwalk.

“II wiill bee fiiinnne,” said Arachnamate, bunching its mouth into a single aperture. “II aamm gooiingng hhoomme.”

Alphys nodded. She felt her tail rise off the catwalk. She felt a surge of hope. On her cheek, where the spider had kissed her, there was a tiny coolness, despite the ever-rising heat of molten rock from below.

The white form disappeared into the lair. Alphys watched for a while. She heard the distant, muted sound of excited chittering.

That was it, then. That was the last friend gone.

Now there was no one left in the world who needed Alphys. It was good to feel unneeded.

She knew what she had to do.

* * *

The former royal scientist gathered all her papers neatly together. She sorted them into piles by project. She punched holes in them and slipped them neatly into binders, labeled with a marker pen.

It had been the second-longest day of her life, but finally she slept. When she rose, she began gathering all her materials and sorting them. Each material or supply was put in a specimen jar, a display case or a storage box. Each was carefully labeled.

She made boxes for all her inventions, each one the perfect size, including one for her determinometer. She wrote instructions for their use, or referred to documentation in the binders. These, too, she labeled and stacked. Then, again, she slept.

On the third day, she packed away her personal items. All her comics and manga. Her anime and movies. Her Pez dispensers and Bento boxes. Her cayenne pepper grinder and her Mettaton poster. All went into boxes, labeled carefully with a marker pen and stacked against the wall.

She wrote a five-page note and set it on a table by the door.

She put on her black polka-dot dress.

She packed a backpack. A little ramen, a little rice, a little nori. Her favorite blanket. Her yellow lizard teacup. She set it by the door.

She popped in the one DVD she’d left unpacked, leaned back in her best chair, and watched, from beginning to end, the final episode of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie. She sat quietly for ten minutes after the final credits stopped, staring at the black screen.

Then she took her backpack and left the lab for the last time.

The last person to see Alphys before she reached the waterfall was the nice cream vendor, who sold her a nice cream. The inside of the wrapper bore a simple drawing of a rising sun, along with a message: “Everyone has a special light. Don’t waste yours!”

[********************]


	21. Spring Cleaning

**Scene 21: Spring Cleaning**

_or_

“Waterfall”

 

* * *

 

 

Undyne drummed her fingers impatiently on the arm of her throne. Her guards watched her uneasily, so she glared at them, daring them to keep watching. They didn’t take the bait.

02 cleared his throat to 01. 01 jerked to attention and glanced back through the doorway, whose doors had been left to dangle permanently in tatters from their hinges. It was a kind of statement. If there were no doors between the public and their empress—only signs of wanton destruction—they would feel free to come and commune with her at any time, just so long as they realized she might decide to personally beat them to a pulp.

“Like, announcing His Scrappiness—Doggo, Captain of the Guard!”

Pickings were kind of slim when it came to guard captains. Undyne had been such an amazing captain for so long that she’d basically intimidated the leadership out of everyone else. Gerson had agreed to be her captain, but he’d taken every opportunity to lecture her, and she’d had to fire him before the day was out. She’d tried Knight Knight as the captain, but her public speaking voice had a way of putting the troops to sleep instead of rallying them. And Greater Dog was just confusing. So now she was trying to draw out Doggo’s natural leadership. She’d ordered him to take initiative and do something on his own volition, so he’d started writing treatises. That was something, she had to admit, but even Undyne could see they were crap. The first one had been called, “On the Age-Old Relationship Between Dog and Bone,” and had for some reason featured the word “Yarf” used in every part of speech.

“YARF!” cried Doggo, hurrying into the room and performing an awkward salute with the flat of his sword.

Undyne stood up. “Doggo! Good to see you back! How are things in Snowdin?”

He hopped to attention, feet landing at right angles. “Not too shabby, your supreme majesty! When I told the folks at Grillby’s they’ll be getting a new jukebox, they were kind of excited!”

“Only kind of?” Undyne frowned. “What does it take to get these folks _really_ excited?”

Doggo’s lip curled. “Well… breaking the barrier, I guess?”

“Well OBVIOUSLY! But that’s gonna take a while! I tried beating up the barrier with my fists, but it actually _won!_ Nothing _ever_ wins a fist fight with me. So I’m pretty sure I’m gonna need a scientist. Any leads on that?”

“Scientist? No, sorry… nothing like that in Snowdin,” said the hangfaced captain. “Unless I could do it! I’ve been working on another treatise on the laws of motion!”

Undyne scowled. “What kind of laws?” she asked.

“Well, for example! ‘The first law of motion: Objects in motion tend to be asking for it!’”

“Okay, no,” said Undyne. “We’re gonna have to hire outside the guard. I still feel like someone in the Core is bound to be good at science. The Core is _full_ of eggheads! Some of them literally have eggs for heads!”

Guard 01 piped up from the door. “Well, like, we got some bodacious applications, but… it seems like all anyone knows how to do is their own job! The Core just kinda runs, you know?”

02 stepped forward and handed Undyne a piece of paper. “…this one.”

She looked at the application. The picture was of a big-eared mouse in gray overalls with a pocket protector, one Suzy Creamcheese. Under Qualifications, the mouse had written, “Alphys used to talk to me sometimes! My dad used to work with her!” Under Hobbies, she’d listed “Doing stuff on the Undernet,” “Recreational Dreaming,” and “Wishing I were more like Dr. Alphys.” Undyne noticed the applicant had also added a category called “Favorite Puzzle Type” and had filled it in with “120 Degree Shifted Rotation.”

She looked up in consternation. “Doesn’t _anyone_ around here do any actual science aside from Alphys?!”

The guards looked at a loss. Doggo cleared his throat. “Well, if you don’t count my theories on thermodynamic unruliness…”

Undyne leapt from her throne to her royal trampoline and started bouncing. “Doggo, no offense, but your theories are CRAP! I didn’t want to have to say this, but I’m actually rethinking the whole ‘firing Alphys’ thing. Yeah, she was disloyal, but maybe we can get around that? …I could have her build a loyalty machine and put herself in it! Would that work?”

“…Questionable,” said 02.

Undyne considered. Would she really want to force Alphys to support her if she didn’t want to? That might muck up her amazing brain! “Yeah, you’re probably right. But maybe we could talk it out. Or better, HUG it out!” She leapt forward and somersaulted off the trampoline, then picked up Doggo and hugged tight until his tongue stuck out. “MMMMM, governance by HUGS!”

“WAN WAN WAN!” yipped the captain.

Undyne put him down. “Alright, alright. Let’s check on Alphy.” She yelled toward the door: “PAGE!”

The scrawny orange lizard kid sprang into the room and pranced across the floor, the feather in his velvet cap waving wildly. “Yo, your majesty,” he said with a bow.

“Page, you know where Alphys’s lab is, right?”

“Yeah! It’s right by the L1 elevator!”

“I gave her ‘til today to be out of there. Go check on her and see how she’s doing, okay? Tell her I want to talk to her.”

The kid bowed so deeply he had to whirl his tail to keep from losing his balance. “Yes, ma’am!”

“Oh, and page? Tell her there’s a chance she can keep her job. We might be able to work something out.”

“Got it! Might be able to work something out and keep her job.” He ran for the door, but turned back halfway. “…Yo, that’s pretty cool if Alphys can keep her job. I kinda like her.” He laughed nervously.

“Yeah,” admitted Undyne. “Me too.” She waved dismissively and, just for good measure, shot a spear into the floor near the kid’s feet. “Go on, get moving.”

He leapt high and dashed for the exit. “ _Yo!!_ ”

“So,” said Undyne, turning back to Doggo. “What about the rest of your Snowdin report? Weren’t they at least happy about my offer to get them a new sign for their library?”

Doggo reached up a leg and scratched himself behind the ear. How did he _do_ that? And why didn’t he just use his arm? “Well, the librarians did say they’d be glad to get a new sign… but they didn’t want to just throw out the heritage of their old sign, either.”

Undyne’s eye narrowed. “The heritage?”

“…They suggested a sign that says, um…” He dug around in his vest and unfolded a piece of paper. “‘LIBRARY: FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE LIBRARBY’.”

“Oh good grief,” said Undyne.

* * *

That was the last Eggy heard of the exchange. He was on his way down the stairs, taking them three at a time. He still thought they should install a slide for getting down faster, but Undyne hadn’t seemed to think that was a big priority when he’d brought it up. That was okay—she was busy with important empress stuff, but she’d probably solve all the big problems before long, and then she’d start listening to Eggy when he came up with cool ideas like a slide. He could take the elevator, of course, but he didn’t like pressing the buttons. Haha, buttons were for people with fingers! Who needs’ em? He only used the elevators when he was in a hurry.

Which was now, of course. Eggy wanted to be a good page, so he ran all the way to the nearest elevator and punched the call button with his tail. It only took three tries this time. He was getting used to this job!

That was good, because Undyne was cool. She was really cool. Most empresses wouldn’t even think about hiring a kid to be part of their court, but Undyne had barely even hesitated before shrugging and saying “Why not?” Eggy’s parents had been so proud. For some reason, they never used to act like Eggy was ever going to get a good job, or make anything of himself. Was it just ‘cause he was such a turd sometimes? Well, come on, didn’t they remember being kids? Just ‘cause he made mistakes didn’t mean he wasn’t gonna be totally rad when he grew up!

Well, one thing was for sure. Undyne remembered being a kid. She even still acted like one sometimes, even though she was all grown up! And she _got_ Eggy. She got him in a way his parents and sister never seemed to. Not that he was really hard to understand! Basically, he just wanted everything to be _cool_. Was that so hard to get?

Well, maybe it was. Coolness was a complicated idea. It seemed so simple, but the more Eggy tried to say what it was, the harder it got to pin down. And that was maybe the coolest thing about coolness. It was too cool for a definition! It was bigger than itself. Eggy admired coolness so much. He knew he himself wasn’t very cool, but someday he was going to be! Someday, he’d figure out how to be cool, and then he wouldn’t be a turd anymore and everything would be awesome from then on. Man, that was gonna be great!

The elevator doors opened at L1. Eggy leapt out, then panicked for a moment when he realized he’d been thinking about coolness again and hadn’t remembered to repeat his message. What was he supposed to say to Dr. Alphys?! Oh, right! _You might be able to keep your job—Undyne wants to talk and work out with you, and how’s it going, anyway?_ Yep, that was it! Eggy grinned in triumph and hurried over to tap his foot on the door. He was turning out to be a good page after all!

The door cracked ajar. It wasn’t locked? Eggy stood in surprise for a moment, then cautiously hooked a foot through the crack and pulled it open.

The lights were on. Well, not all of them, just the light near the door. The back of the lab was dark. So was the upper level. “Yo, Dr. Alphys! Are you… are you in here? Ha ha.”

There was no answer. So Eggy looked around. At least he could tell Undyne if she’d finished moving out. There were boxes stacked up all against the wall, so it looked like she was probably planning to come back for them, right? Probably she was making a trip to her new home, wherever that was, and if Eggy waited around, she’d show up eventually.

But he didn’t want to keep Undyne waiting! He’d have to just go back and tell her Alphys was out. So he turned back toward the door, but on his way out, he noticed the little table the light was shining on, and the papers on top of it. There was big writing on the top paper, so he read it. “To whoever comes after,” it said.

What did that mean? Whoever comes after? Did that mean Eggy, since he’d come here after her? He decided to read a little more, just in case.

 

> “If you’re reading this, I assume you’re my successor. I’m sorry I’m not here to explain everything in person, but I couldn’t stay around any longer. There was too much pain. It’s one thing when you feel pain on your body, but it’s another thing when your whole existence _is_ pain. I don’t just mean I felt pain all the time—I mean it was starting to get painful just to realize that I existed. There’s junk that’s worthless, but then there’s the stuff that’s worse than worthless, the stuff that it’s actually _bad_ to have around. That’s what we call garbage. So I decided it was time to take out the trash, that’s all. Now that I’m gone, this place is probably a lot neater!
> 
> “There’s oodles of cool stuff here. Let me start by telling you about the inventions in bins A through K, up against the west wall. I’m really proud of the doohickeys in bin A… they’re reverse engineered from cell phones we got from the surface, and can be used to…”

In shock, Eggy nosed the page over and went on to a random place on the next one…

 

> “…what I like to call my ‘warm fridge assembly,’ in honor of Undyne, but which most people just call an ‘oven.’ The operational and maintenance specs are given in Appendices D and E, respectively…”

He skipped ahead.

 

> “…until season four, at which point she starts crushing on Borsoff and trying to master his fighting techniques so that she can beat him on his own terms, which she thinks is the only way to win his respect. But unknown to her—and this is the part I find really ironic…”

Breathing rapidly, he skipped to the end of the large print, after which everything else was tiny appendices.

 

> “…and you can’t blame them. None of them. They were completely correct. Observations have shown that I’m a defective person, and I make bad decisions all the time. You could say I’m a bad decision engine! So I decided to go and see if I could just maybe, _maybe_ , if I was _really_ lucky, go somewhere better, where maybe I… wouldn’t be worse than worthless anymore? I know it’s wishful thinking, but what else have I got left at this point, right? In any case, I won’t be back. You don’t have to worry about me anymore. I hope some of this stuff turns out to be useful, and that the next royal scientist does a better job than I did.
> 
> “Oh, and, just in case Undyne doesn’t know I loved her? I did. I still do, really. Like, deeply. I thought about writing an appendix of all the stuff I wanted to do with her, all the experiences I wanted to share… but well. That would be kind of pointless, wouldn’t it?
> 
> “I guess it’s time I signed off and took care of the last piece of garbage. There’s no need for anyone to miss me. Best of luck!
> 
> “Talk about your ultimate spring cleaning,
> 
> “Alphys”

Eggy’s mind was thrashing. He didn’t understand. He must have misunderstood. He was just a kid—he misunderstood things all the time! Still, he knew this note was something Empress Undyne was going to have to see.

* * *

Undyne was in the middle of an interview with an applicant for royal scientist. Mettaton was sitting in, and she was grateful, because there was only so much interaction with the public she could take before she started raining down spears and cracking skulls. Mettaton had a less destructive (but no less cutting) way of taking people down a notch. He was a perfect complement for her—always making her laugh and keeping her out of trouble.

“What is a star?” asked the tiny, raindrop-shaped applicant. “Can you touch a star? Can you eat a star?”

“Right,” said Undyne. “So we’ve established you’re good at asking questions. That’s good. Scientists have to ask questions! But what I want to know is, can you _answer_ them?”

The little monster hopped forward a little. “Can you kill a star?”

Undyne wondered. _Could_ she? “I don’t know! Maybe someday we’ll get to the surface and I’ll find out!”

“Sweet cheeks, please don’t ask Undyne what she can and cannot kill. The answer will always be ‘yes’, and her attempts to prove it will always be destructive.” Aww, Mettaton knew her so well!

“Are _you_ a star?” the applicant asked Mettaton.

“Darling, need you really ask?”

Thankfully, that was when the kid got back. Undyne needed the interruption, and she had to admit—she was looking forward to seeing Alphys again. The kid was carrying some papers in his mouth and frowning, though. Normally, he loved wearing his page’s cap and carrying stuff in his mouth, so clearly something was wrong.

“Hold up,” said Undyne. She took the page’s pages and glanced at them. “What’s this?”

“Haha… Dr. Alphys wasn’t home. So I brought you this note she wrote. Maybe it’ll make more sense to you than it did to me… haha.”

Undyne read. She frowned, her eyes going wide. She read some more.

…so I decided to take out the trash, that’s all.

“No!” she shouted. “No, NO, PUTRID PLANKTON, what have I done?!”

“What are you holding?” asked the raindrop monster. “Is it a star?”

Undyne punted him across the room without looking. She showed the note to Mettaton. “Look!!”

He tilted forward and peered at it for a while. Then he fingered through the pages. He and Undyne read the end together.

“How utterly absurd,” Mettaton reflected to no one in particular. “Who writes a suicide note with appendices?”

A sliver of hope. “You mean you think it could be fake?” demanded Undyne.

“Oh, no, no. It’s definitely real. I just meant the good doctor had managed to outdo herself one last time.”

Undyne glared at Mettaton. Was this really _nothing_ to him?

“It’s good, really. A person ought to go out in style.”

She socked him. He fell sprawling with an augmented electronic “Oooh!” that didn’t seem to come from his mouth. Then he sat there, hand over his eye, and looked at her.

Alphys. Sweet little Alphys. Funny little Alphys! _Amazing_ little Alphys! “WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS WAITING FOR?!” she yelled, stomping toward the door. “Let’s get to the waterfall! FAST!”

* * *

She didn’t hear whether they were following her. She was running her fastest, having jumped two levels already. The sound of catwalks under her feet gave way to the splash of sloshy paths, and then came the distant roar of falling water. Everything else was an unimportant blur.

Did Alphys have anyplace else to move? She _lived_ in that lab, didn’t she? How could Undyne have forgotten she didn’t have anyplace to go? Had things really been so crazy over the last few days that she hadn’t been able to spare a thought for her old friend?

No, not crazy, she realized as she barreled forward. It was that the mood was so severe. Undyne had only been able to topple Toriel by being her harshest, and you didn’t come down easily from a feeling like that. She’d _killed_ the Dogi, for heaven’s sake! She wasn’t proud, but they’d stood against her, and it had had to happen. When the mood was amped up like that, you couldn’t let someone get away with betrayal. You couldn’t even think about it. And Alphys had stabbed Undyne’s heart with her betrayal… leaving Undyne unable to even think about her. It had been too painful until now.

And now it was more painful than ever. _What had she done?_ The smell of the dump tickled Undyne’s nares. She picked up her pace. _Please, please, please!_

How many years ago—five?—seven?—Undyne had come here looking for new and better weapons. Anything that wasn’t sharp, she could sharpen! Anything broken, she could fix! If she didn’t know how to fix it, she’d figure it out! Human stuff was the best—even their junk was better than most of the stuff monsters built.

But what she’d found that day hadn’t been junk at all. What she’d found had been an amazing monster with an incredible mind.

* * *

_HEY! So where d’ya think it leads?_

_Ulp! Um… hello._

_Hi! Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. Good thing people don’t leap forward when they get startled, huh? You could have fallen right in! Most folks leap straight up, if they leap at all._

_Oh… yeah. Um… I was just… contemplating._

_Were you contemplating where the water goes?_

_..Basically, yes! But, um, the short answer is… nobody knows! It falls closer to the center of the world. Did you know the whole world is round-shaped, like a ball?_

_No! Really? The whole world?_

_W-well, the planet we live in. We live really close to the surface, but the planet itself is eight thousand miles from one side to the other! Here, let me show you._

Undyne had found a big pole thing with a handle on the end—a lever or axle or something—and Alphys had drawn with it in the mud. It had been Undyne’s first glimpse of the nature of the world, and she was captivated. They’d talked for at least a quarter hour before even introducing themselves.

_You know what’s funny? We’ve been talking all this time, and I don’t even know your name!_

_Oh! Yeah, that is a little funny, huh? I guess I tend to… be a little distant? I’m Alphys._

_I’m Undyne! But you probably knew that already, didn’t you?_

_Um… no? Should I have?_

_You don’t know who I am? I’m the most powerful warrior in the Underground! Besides the king, of course. But I even beat him sometimes! He taught me to!_

_W… wow, really? That’s… really cool. I’m, uh, I’m an Assistant Royal Scientist. I’ve hardly ever talked with Asgore, though._

_An assistant? Didn’t something happen to the Royal Scientist?_

_*gulp* Um, yeah, and the other assistant quit, and now I’m all alone in the lab… I’m hoping Asgore will hire me to replace him… I actually kind of, um… came here to think about it? There’s someone I know who might be willing to help… but… I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with it._

_Why not? Are you the go-it-alone type who’ll never take help from anyone?_

_Well, not really… but there are… um, ethical questions? I probably shouldn’t talk about it._

_Well, then, don’t! Keep talking to me about the place where the water goes! I haven’t been this interested in something theoretical for a long time!_

_S-sure! Well, what I got thinking about next is… if all this water pours away here, day and night, does that mean the surface will eventually run out of water? Usually, water systems are stable, meaning that the same water goes through in a cycle, over and over. So that made me think that somehow, the water that goes down there must come back up and rejoin the aquifers! Otherwise, we wouldn’t have any water left by now. But the question is, how? How could that much water defy gravity without the energy of the sun to make it evaporate? Unless maybe…_

* * *

The waterfall was quiet. No glimpse of white and yellow by the brink. No thrumming machines or drawings in the mud. Just garbage.

There were footprints in the mud near the stream. Undyne ran, following them, hoping desperately for them to turn and lead somewhere other than the brink of the falls.

But that was exactly where they led. And there was no trail back.

Undyne roared. She broke down and pounded the mud. She heaved huge gobs of it over the side in anger. She seized huge pieces of garbage and crushed them, or twisted them to bits, or hurled them with angry cries into the void.

Then she realized that Alphys might actually still be alive down there. She had a jet pack phone! She could be falling a little at a time, taking things slow… and Undyne could have just spoiled it all by dropping a bathtub on her head.

She really needed to stop being an idiot. Undyne never thought of herself as an idiot, but the evidence was right there in front of her. She’d met Alphys at this very waterfall, staring down quietly into the blackness, contemplating. She’d seemed embarrassed to be caught there. Alphys had come just after losing someone really important to her—the old Royal Scientist—and was grappling with ‘ethical questions’ she wasn’t comfortable talking about.

And somehow, Undyne hadn’t realized she was suicidal until now?!

Alphys had been a flower who needed watering. She’d needed someone to treat her gently. To guide her in the right direction, open her up without touching any nerves, soothe her when she needed comfort. Someone to show her how much she was worth, to remind her how much she was loved, to talk her down whenever she was on the edge.

And what had Undyne done?

She’d called her up randomly to ask about the weather.

“Damn it, Alphys,” she muttered, kneeling in the mud. “You needed someone better than me. DAMN IT.”

“Yo… Undyne… are you… are you okay?” asked the lizard kid, standing fearfully nearby.

She slumped. “No. No, I’m not freaking okay. You should probably get out of here.”

“But I want to help! Is there anything I can do?”

“You can GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, KID.”

“Dude!” said Guard 01, who’d just arrived on the scene.

“Dude!” replied the lizard kid.

“Dude,” said the guard, softly and meaningfully.

The kid nodded. “Dude.” He looked back at Undyne once more, then ran off, tripping once into the mud as he went.

Mettaton settled down nearby using his personal rocket. “No sign of her, I take it?”

Undyne gritted her teeth. “Goddamn footprints leading off the cliff. Mettaton, you think she might be okay down there? You’ve got a rocket, can you go after her?”

“Not for long, I’m afraid. This thing is a _monster_ drag on my battery supplies.”

“Maybe she’s using her jetpack to stay near the top?”

“If I know Alphys, darling, she wouldn’t go at this halfway. She’ll have taken a leap of faith. And yes, it’s possible her phone might have kept her safe, but it’s unthinkable she’d be close enough for me to reach her. It’s a good thing she finally gave me the tools to maintain myself, or I’d be inclined to panic.”

“Didn’t you care about her?” Undyne hissed. “Didn’t she mean anything to you?”

“She meant a great deal to me,” said Mettaton. “She represented my weakness. I used to be nobody, and I was reminded of that every time I saw the good doctor. Undyne, you’re not planning to hit me again, are you?”

She took a moment to cool down. Would it do any good to hit Mettaton? “No,” she told him. “You’re not worth it.”

“I think I’ll take it upon myself to dispose of her possessions, if you don’t mind. Appendix A was a Last Testament, and we may as well carry it out faithfully. Do you mind if I broadcast the event? One doesn’t throw away a chance for ratings.”

Well, that would be tacky. But what else would she expect from Mettaton? “Knock yourself out. Just treat her memory with respect, okay? Or I’ll pull you apart one semiconductor at a time.”

“Understood, your supreme majesty. I would hate to die such a… tedious death!”

Undyne growled. “One QUARTER-conductor at a time!”

“Now, now!” he protested. “I’m going!”

She crawled to the edge and looked down. Pebbles and clods of dirt fell even as she watched. Alphys had told her a dozen theories about what was down there, and some of them were even nice. Her note hadn’t seemed very hopeful, but maybe Alphys really had found a better place for herself, down past the void. If she’d saved enough power in her phone, that was, and nothing had gone wrong. Undyne would almost certainly never see her again, but… maybe she could be happy somewhere else. Maybe she could even find someone better for her than Undyne ever was. That thought, at least, brought her a little solace.

A metal finger on her shoulder grabbed her attention. Royal Guard 02. “Yeah?” she snapped. “What is it?”

He extended an armored hand. “found this… over there.”

“What is it?”

His gauntlet opened to reveal a smashed cell phone. “…jetpack,” he said.

Alphys’s cell phone? Left behind!?

“Dammit,” said Undyne, falling to her knees and squinching her eyes shut. So much for solace.

* * *

That night, she sat alone in the coffin room with her knees hunched and chin slumped. She barely listened while the tape played.

“CORRECT,” said Mettaton, in his old rectangular form. “DR. ALPHYS HAS A CRUSH ON… THE UNKNOWABLE.”

Well, that was where she’d ended up.

“YOU SEE, ALPHYS BELIEVES THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE. SOMEONE WATCHING HER. SOMEONE SHE THINKS IS ‘CUTE’ AND ‘INTERESTING.’

 _That’s me,_ thought Undyne sullenly. _And look what good it did her._

“HELLO, THEORETICAL PERSON. DR. ALPHYS LIKES YOU. TOO BAD YOU ARE NOT REAL.” A derisive sampler of laughter backed the zinger up.

“H-hey, I’ve done research about this!” Alphys protested. “There are alternate universes out there! S-someday, maybe, I could meet them…”

“YOU SAID THE EXACT SAME THING ABOUT ‘MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE.’ BUT I’LL GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. PERSON, IF YOU’RE OUT THERE… HOW ABOUT GIVING US A SIGN, RIGHT NOW?”

Undyne didn't break the silence.

“…THAT SETTLES THAT, DOESN’T IT?”

[%%%%^^^%%%%%%%%%%%%%%]

*** * T H E   E N D * *  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, everyone, for reading and hopefully enjoying Alphys and the Queen. I really appreciate all the comments and PMs you've sent, and I h-
> 
> * * O F _P A R T _ I * *
> 
> Wait, what? What are you doing in my Author's Note? Are you... are you saying the story isn't finished?
> 
> * * N O _ W E ' V E _ G O T _ A _ W H O L E _ ' N O T H E R _ P A R T * *
> 
> Wow! Um, okay. I guess... this may seem like an ending, but it's actually just... the halfway point? I wonder what the rest will be about. o.o Maybe we'll have twenty-one chapters from the perspective of Loren, the raindrop monster who was so unceremoniously booted from this chapter. Or twenty-one chapters of Soriel! Or Gaster ramblings! Maybe Undyne angst? Glyde trying to lick his way out from a pile of molasses? Or we could switch the point of view suddenly to the surface! Make the Annoying Dog our new protagonist! Or we could even--
> 
> * * D O N ' T _ A C T _ L I K E _ Y O U _ D I D N ' T _ A L R E A D Y _ W R I T E _ I T * *
> 
> ...I didn't realize you were going to reveal that. In that case, we'll just leave it as a surprise and see where things go from here!


	22. Paying Respects

  **PART II: THE QUEST FOR A QUEEN**

* * *

  **Scene 22: Paying Respects**

_or_

“Journey That Carries You Over a Disproportionately Short Distance"

 

* * *

  

(Ring, ring…)

“heya. is anyone there…?

“…well, i’ll just leave a message.

“so… it’s been a while.

“the queen returned, and attempted to resume ruling the underground. she enstated a new policy… all the humans who fall here would be treated not as enemies… but as friends. but people REALLY didn’t like that policy. because of you, not only was the king gone… but the human souls had gone missing as well. along with the life of…

“nobody wanted to see that happen ever again. so the people started a rebellion to overthrow the queen. undyne spearheaded the revolution, of course. she was pretty mad after what happened to asgore. she threw the queen out of the castle with her strength. then she became the empress of the underground… and banished the queen back to the ruins. seems like undyne’s… hmmm… even more vehement about destroying humanity than ASGORE.

“…but hey! it’s not all bad! when the queen went back to the ruins… i decided to go with her. and i took out some books from the library, too. so she won’t have to read the same ones. she’s a good roomie. we have a lot of fun.

“you know. sometimes the queen talks about… how she’d like to see you again. isn’t that nice? she knows you’re a murderer, but she wants to see you anyway. some people, huh?

“sometimes i want to grab her and yell. remind her that ‘cause she protected you… you went on to kill my brother. i don’t, though, because she’s a better person than i am. but that goes without saying.

“anyway, never come back here. you are not welcome. later.”

(Click.)

The crackling of the fire was like soft music. It tied one event to the next, much like a pot of tea tied a conversation together. There was no pressing need for Toriel to speak.

“…guess you probably heard that, huh?” asked Sans from the next room.

Toriel exhaled calmly and leaned back in her easy chair. “I heard every word.”

Her companion strolled in, flipped the phone around his hand, and set it carefully on the table. “i think you were right. i know i wasn’t too hot on the idea, but i do feel a little better.”

Toriel’s smile was knowing. “So do I, Sans.”

“yeah? in that case, it was probably worth it. but at the same time, i gotta confess. i don’t know if i want them to call back.”

Rather than reply, Toriel chose to let the fire do the talking for a while. It was crisp and active today, but not overpowering.

“i might say a few things you don’t want to hear. come to think of it, if they do call back, maybe i should take it in private.”

Toriel rocked forward. “That is your choice, but for what it is worth, I would prefer to hear your half of the conversation. You do not need to temper your feelings for my sake.”

He looked at her, his pupils hard to find. “you sure? ‘cause you still talk about that kid like you’re their mother, and there’s some things a mother shouldn’t hear.”

She felt her ears draw in close. “It is all right, Sans. I will not try to protect my child from your judgment. They are not mine to protect anymore.”

Now it was Sans’s turn letting the fire speak.

Some time passed. At last, he dropped a fist on the table. “who am i kidding? they’re not gonna call back, anyway.”

Toriel leaned from her chair to examine him. “How can you be so sure?”

He faced her. “if you were in their position… would you?”

Well. That was not an easy question to answer. If she had killed an innocent person on the surface, would she return a phone call accusing her of wrongdoing? At first she thought she must, for it would not do to evade her hour of reckoning, but then again… why would she have killed a person who posed no threat? Temporary madness? In such a situation, would she want to explain herself, or would it only salt the wound?

“never mind,” said Sans, watching her ponder. “don’t answer that. i shouldn’t have asked.”

It had been a reasonable question, and it was not unwelcome to have a quandary to ponder now and then. But Toriel let it go. She rose from her chair and set her hand on the skeleton’s shoulder. His loss, she knew, was greater than hers. She had known Asgore for longer than Sans had known Papyrus, true, but she had had centuries to get used to the fact that she had lost him… or rather, that he was never the monster she had imagined him to be. Sans’s life, on the other hand, had gone from carefree lackadaisy to tragedy in the space of hours.

“I am not really a better person than you, Sans. I hope that you know that.”

“nah. you are. top to bottom. floppy ears to fuzzy feet.”

“I am just an individual trying to make the best choices in life, and yet still making profound mistakes from time to time, despite having an embarrassment of life experience.”

Rather than get up to pat her back, Sans used his magic to conjure a wispy skeleton hand to do it instead. Toriel was unsure whether this was lazy or not. “tori. i appreciate you’re trying to cheer me up. but remember who you’re talking to. you’re a better person than me, tori. i know.”

In truth, Toriel did not put much stock in the notion of a ‘better person’ or ‘worse person’. To her, people were simply people. They had flaws and they had strengths, but all were equally important, and each person was the best in the world at being what they were supposed to be. Yet she understood what Sans meant. He was a judge. If anyone could gauge the goodness of a person, it was him, and he apparently saw things differently than she did.

She adored him. She wondered whether the distance between the two of them would break down in time, or whether it was an integral part of who he was. “You know, Sans… more than ever, I find myself wishing that I had known you sooner.”

He turned toward her slightly. “well. i was never a ton of fun, believe it or not.”

Toriel smiled wistfully. “Were you not? I had the sense that you were the life of the party.”

“maybe. and a heart keeps you going, if it beats often enough. but even when i was the life of the party… i never beat any more than i had to.”

Now Toriel was envisioning Sans as a giant heart. “I am thinking of something you said on the phone. Would… perhaps this is a foolish question, but… would you like to grab me, and yell at me for wanting to see the child again? I will not enjoy it, but I will not be upset, and I will not fight back. Would it make you feel better to do this?”

Slowly, Sans turned the rest of the way around to stare at her. Finally, he dropped his gaze. “tori. don’t ever change, okay?” With that, he got up and walked off to his room.

Toriel could not return to sitting. She walked out of the house and into town, where the colors and scents of the ruined old buildings served as a different kind of company for her thoughts.

* * *

As she was returning home, a large black spider scuttled up to her with a rolled up newspaper in its grip. It was not uncommon for the spiders to bring her a newspaper from Snowdin, but they did not do so regularly, for the spiders were limited by their supply of snowshoes in how many could cross the snow, and as there was no gap in the Ruins large enough to fit a newspaper through, they had to slide it through the cracks page by page and reassemble it on the other side.

Toriel stooped to take it. “A newspaper? Thank you! Would you like me to read it here?”

The spider shook its head, blinking its eight eyes. It hurried off.

Typically, the spiders only brought her the Snowdin Bugle when there was news of import, although sometimes this news was a relatively minor piece concerning spiders. She unrolled the paper and glanced at it.

She saw the word “SUICIDE”.

She saw a picture of Doctor Alphys.

Immediately, profound sorrow began to well in Toriel’s gut. Followed closely by the surging and familiar sense of _I-have-done-the-wrong-thing-yet-again._

Rather than let these twin feelings wash over her, however, Toriel forced herself to read the full headline. “FIRED ROYAL SCIENTIST RELEASES DEFORMED PATIENTS, COMMITS SUICIDE—Fallen down monsters ‘amalgamated’ into grotesque compound beings, returned to families”.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

What _good_ had Toriel’s return done? How had staking a claim for the throne helped anyone, in any way? Had she accomplished anything besides fostering division and forcing monsters to take sides?

Dr. Alphys had tried not to take sides, and she had died for it. Even that option had not been safe. Toriel felt her throat constricting at the idea that she had left this poor, timid scientist no choice that would have let her live with herself.

So that had been her secret. The patients. She could not offer a phone call to their loved ones because they had been merged with each other accidentally, and their loved ones would have known. Yet the monstrosity of whatever had led to the amalgamates existing barely registered against Toriel’s grief. This was not—this should _not_ have been the end of the scientist, however mistaken her methods. Toriel had known she was hiding something, but had tried to be gentle and let it come out in time. Yet she had not had time, had she?

Toriel was such a fool. She was perhaps the oldest person in the world, and yet she could not help but handle things like a naive child.

Where was Napstablook and their cool gray shower of tears now? This was when she truly needed it. This was not like the news of Asgore’s death. That had been grief mixed with relief; this news brought her grief, regret, and nothing else.

How could _Undyne_ live with herself at a time like this?

Toriel carried the newspaper back to her house. She did not read any more for now. There was too much to process, and she wanted to share it with Sans, anyhow.

Some time later, she knocked gently on his door. There was a short pause before his answer: “who’s there?”

“It is me, Sans. Will you please come out? Something terrible has happened.”

The door creaked open and the skeleton’s face peeked out. For once, there was no smile on it.

“Doctor Alphys,” she breathed. She showed him the newspaper.

He read for a few seconds, letting the spread of the pages hide most of his face. When he lowered it, his concerned expression stood in for words.

“I have read only the headlines, but that is enough to have upset me greatly,” explained Toriel.

She heard a faint exhalation. Sans did not breathe much, lacking lungs, but his natural magic did push the air around a little. “sorry, tori.”

She rubbed the corner of her eye. “I was beginning to think that we were building a friendship. I had been looking forward to getting to know her. To be honest, it was one of the things I was most fondly anticipating as queen.”

Sans looked glum. “i’m really sorry. it didn’t work out.”

Sympathy was one thing, but where was his own grief? “Sans, is that all you have to say? It did not ‘work out’?”

He shifted his gaze for a moment. “look, tori. i might have had a bit of a grudge with that lady. but that doesn’t mean your feelings don’t matter to me.”

Well, this was news. “So you are saying that her death brings you no sadness whatever?”

He looked distant.

Toriel took back the newspaper. “Please tell me the nature of this grudge.”

Sans looked miffed. “you don’t wanna hear it.”

“I would not have asked if I did not want to hear it,” replied Toriel crossly. Although it occurred to her that she _had_ heeded Alphys’s warning about the fourth videotape.

He glowered at her. “she had cameras all over the underground. from snowdin forest all the way to the core. they’re gone now, but the official line was they were for helping to catch humans. you telling me the human made it all the way to her lab without her realizing they killed papyrus? or at the least, after the first time they met up, she didn’t go back and check the footage? she must have known, tori. but instead of capturing the human, she _helped_ them. no fewer than _four times_ on mettaton’s show. mettaton was at least pretending to try and capture them, but alphys? she was on the side of the human who killed my brother.”

This sounded like it could not be right. “I had heard that was an elaborate ruse.”

Sans shrugged. “if it was a ruse, it was meant to _impress_ the kid, not capture them. i saw the last broadcast. mettaton laid it out pretty clear. alphys wanted to be a hero, so she talked mettaton into playing bad robot, good scientist. she wanted to be someone’s hero so badly she was willing to overlook murder.”

The flavor of Toriel’s grief was shaken again. She could not say it felt better to know that the life lost had belonged to someone so very flawed. In a way, it made the loss less tragic, but in another way, it was more tragic still. And yet… “Are you certain of this, Sans? Is this your professional assessment as a royal judge?”

Sans gave his head a little shake. “i never judged her. didn’t need to. and i’m not a royal judge anymore. i’m _your_ judge, tori. you’re not royal anymore, so neither am i.”

Toriel felt a spike of tickled pride invade her sorrow… and while it did not triumph, it made inroads. “You still consider yourself to be working for me? Even though I have lost my position?”

“sure. i hung around, didn’t i? who else would i be working for?”

“Does that mean that if I ask you to judge someone, you will do so?”

“sure. who’ve you got in mind? whimsun’s been acting a little shady lately.”

“I was not thinking of anyone in particular. It is simply good to know.”

“yeah. and tori?”

“Yes, Sans?”

“someday, if we stay here together for a long time? i just might tell you why i’m so good at judging people. just… don’t try and get me to spill before i’m ready. ok?”

Toriel understood the weight of secrets. “I understand, Sans.”

“alright, then.”

She stood there in thought a while. Then she realized there was no reason to be standing. “Sans, I am going to read this article in the living room. If you would like to join me, I would value your company.”

“ok, tori. you go ahead without me. i’ll catch up.”

He would catch up, would he? As if the journey from the hallway to the living room were somehow arduous. She stepped through the foyer into the living room and, not entirely to her surprise, found Sans already sitting there in her easy chair, grinning.

She lowered her eyebrows. “Sans, this is not the time.”

“oh, sorry tori. am i in your chair? didn’t see your name on it, so i figured it was okay.”

Toriel had referred to it several times as her chair since Sans’s arrival, and once he had even asked whether he could sit in it. (She had graciously permitted him to do so.) She somehow found this violation humorous, but even laughter did not break her cloud of sorrow. That was as it should be, though. A person’s death should not be laughed away.

She waved Sans out of her chair before sinking into it herself. She magically adjusted the fire to burn quietly, then read the full article aloud. Sans chimed in here and there with an observation, but for the most part simply listened to Toriel read.

The newspaper described the nature of the amalgamates—their natural color lost within them, they were all a gelatinous white. They tended to have one dominant personality which was influenced incessantly by the others. “Sans? Can you imagine being combined with another person in the same body?”

“it’d be pretty weird, huh. only having half a body. or a quarter. or a tenth.”

“I should think so.”

“and it isn’t even as simple as ‘you get the leg, i get the arm,’ is it? these guys are mixed through and through. if any one of ‘em has a body, it’s made up of a billion little pieces, and they’re always moving around. am i right?”

Toriel read the staff account of the amalgamates more thoroughly. “I believe that you are right. How horrifying.”

Sans scooted forward. “does it say if they’re happy, tori? can anyone be happy, broken into a billion little pieces?”

She bit her lip, not fond of the way Sans was describing their condition. “Their reporters interviewed a spider amalgamate in Muffet’s lair who claims to be quite happy to have returned home.”

“what else does it say about the spider? will you read it to me?”

Toriel did not know why Sans was so eager to hear this, but she slowly and fully read the account of the spider known as Arachnamate. This creature spoke in sympathetic and glowing terms of Doctor Alphys, and reacted with great dismay upon being informed of her death. The reporter described how the compound spider cringed, flattening its thorax against the ground while covering its face with innumerable fiber-thin legs. “No, doctor, no!” it was quoted as saying. “I should have stayed with her. I should have stayed.”

Toriel took a moment to settle herself. “Well. Not as happy as you were hoping, I suppose.”

Sans shook his head, apparently cheered somehow. “no, tori. you don’t get it. that means they can still care for someone else. that means that even if you’re broken up into a billion pieces, it’s still possible to feel.”

Toriel shuddered. “So it seems. If I may ask, why does this interest you so much?”

“you can always ask anything you want, tori.”

She smiled tenderly. “I am glad to hear that.” It did not escape her that he had chosen not to answer.

Once enough silence had passed, she continued to read from the main article. “‘Alphys, who was trained as an electrical engineer, was hired by the previous Royal Scientist as an assistant ten years ago, and later appointed as his replacement when an accident claimed his life. She is best known for developing the popular Undernet, creating robotic television personality (and Royal Adviser) Mettaton, and advancing research on the nature of the soul. According to her notes, her last invention before her death was a device termed the ‘determinometer’, said to be capable of measuring the level of determination in any being’s soul. Determination, in the alchemical sense, is a quality that grants a soul cohesion and strength of will, and was apparently the key factor in the creation of the amalgamates. Humans are known to possess it in prodigious amounts, but Alphys’s research uncovered that it occurs naturally in certain monsters to a much smaller degree.’”

“how about that,” said Sans. “wonder if i’d turn out to have any.”

Toriel was amused by the notion, as well as being impressed once again at the ingenuity and industry of the poor experimenter. This person had accomplished so much for the Underground, yet had failed to recognize her own value. “Do you imagine that you have determination, Sans?”

He shrugged. “probably just one.”

“…One determination?”

“one unit of it. however much that is. it seems about right.”

Toriel chuckled and kept reading. “‘Alphys had no living relatives. Empress Undyne has expressed remorse over her firing, and has declared that a day-long funeral and celebration of Alphys’s life will be held on—’ Oh, it will be tomorrow.” She sat in thought, working herself up for the question she knew she had to face.

“you want to go to her funeral, tori?”

Yes, that one. “I am not sure. On the one hand, I would very much like to pay my regards, and to hear what others have to say about her. On the other hand, I am afraid that it would cause too much commotion for the exiled queen to return from exile.”

“you could disguise yourself. i’ve got a fake mustache you can borrow.”

Toriel laughed in embarrassment. “Oh, Sans!”

“i’m serious. wear glasses and a mustache. sure, you won’t fool anyone. but they’ll know you’re trying to fit in. most of them probably won’t bother you.”

The idea seemed patently ridiculous. “What if we simply send word to Undyne that I would like to attend the funeral?”

“that’d work too. but i’d still go with the glasses and mustache, just in case.”

Toriel walked around the table and hugged Sans from behind. “You are just too much. Do you know that?”

“oops. sorry, toriel. i’ll try and be lazier from now on.”

“That is not what I meant and you know it.”

“yeah. guess i did.”

“I suppose you would rather stay here, given that you are not fond of the deceased?”

“if it were just me, i wouldn’t bother. but if you want someone to keep you company…?”

Toriel smiled, her ears rising. “You are too kind, Sans! And by that, I mean that you are exactly kind enough, not that you should be less kind.”

“got it. thanks for clarifying.”

“I would be glad of your company tomorrow. And while I will not wear a mustache, I think that I may take your advice and wear some sort of disguise. If only I were not so large! Perhaps a veil?”

“what about a hoodie? just flip up the hood and pull it tight, no one’s gotta see your face.”

Toriel imagined herself in a hoodie and nearly cracked up. “Do you know, Sans? I think that is an excellent idea.”

“seriously? you know i just throw stuff out there, right? i don’t expect most of it to stick.”

“When it comes to hooded fashion, would you say I am more of a turquoise, or a burgundy?” asked Toriel, showing herself off.

“for this trip? definitely turquoise. burgundy looks too much like blood. and you wouldn’t want to accidentally make a statement.”

She nodded; that made perfect sense. Every day, Sans turned out to be useful in some way she would never have expected. “In that case, there is no time to rest. I have got some sewing to do!”

“i’ll be right here. let me know if you need anything.”

* * *

This was good, actually. For centuries, Toriel’s life had been snailishly slow, punctuated only briefly by vivid periods in which she had a child to raise. Recently, things had sped up exponentially, then come to a head… and now, with shocking abruptness, she was back to a quiet life. It was therefore good to have a task to ease her back into domesticity. Working into the wee hours on a hooded sweater was not characteristic of a bucolic lifestyle, but neither was it reigning over the Underground. And Toriel believed that any life change was best made gradually.

She finished the project in time to get a few well-earned hours of sleep. And she fell asleep grinning. In a way, this sweater was her gift to Alphys. True, Alphys would never see her wearing it, but it would enable her to pay her respects… and when it came down to it, there was really nothing else one could do for the dead.

* * *

“i made a decision last night,” said Sans over breakfast. They were eating lightly seared water sausages and spider biscuits, with no fire in the fireplace.

“Oh? Do tell.” Toriel relished this sort of talk—two people, enjoying the same routine, informing each other of their inner lives one decision at a time. She only wished they were not in such a rush today, but if they did not leave soon they would miss the start of the funeral.

“when we go to the castle… i’m gonna take off on my own for a while. you’ll be okay for an hour or two, right?”

The question chilled Toriel. “I will be able to take care of myself,” she replied. “After all, I was prepared to go alone. But what will you be doing?”

Sans’s grin was empty. “i’m gonna judge the empress.”

Toriel lowered her eyebrows. “You will? For what reason?”

“can you think of anyone better to judge? she threw you out, tori. she literally threw you out of your own castle. don’t you want to know why she did it?”

“She did it because she did not approve of me, or of my policy concerning humans.”

“maybe. or maybe she did it for power. if i’m going to be your judge, i want to help you find peace with what happened.”

“Do you really think Undyne was simply hungry for power?”

“i don’t know. but wouldn’t it feel better to know her reasons were honest?”

Toriel reflected. “I suppose it would. Very well, Sans. As your… boss? …I command you to judge Empress Undyne. ...What relationship _do_ I bear to you, anyway?”

“boss is fine with me. you’re a boss monster, after all.”

“That is true! I suppose I may as well stay in practice.”

“it shouldn’t take too long, anyhow. it’s actually not the first time i’ve judged her.”

How intriguing. “No? When did you judge her before?”

“when she made captain. feels like a long time ago.”

Toriel leaned forward. “Do not leave me in suspense, Sans. What judgment did you render?”

He faced her directly. “i told her she was driven. which is true. i told her her story wasn’t over yet. which was true. turns out she wasn’t done rising through the ranks.”

“I thought you normally only judged a person once,” said Toriel.

“i do. but this isn’t a normal situation. if i’m ever gonna judge someone twice, i figure it should be the person who overthrew the crown and claimed the kingdom.”

A thought occurred to Toriel. “Will the people listen to you? If you happen to find that her reasons were selfish, will they be moved to reconsider being her subjects?”

He sagged. “i doubt it. it’s not like anyone knows i’m the judge. not even undyne knew it was me judging her the first time. i did it in shadow.”

“So you are not doing this to win me back the loyalty of the monsters?”

“nah. i don’t think i could do that. like i said, tori. i’m just doing it for your peace of mind.”

It was incredibly flattering for someone to care so deeply about her peace of mind. Toriel had to admit that after the monsters had failed to protect her from being overthrown, she was not certain she wanted to rule anymore. But to have peace of mind… yes, that _would_ be a great comfort during the endless years ahead.

They finished breakfast quickly and Toriel ducked into her room to change into her turquoise hoodie. She came out tugging the sleeves straight. “Well, Sans? What do you think?”

He regarded her with focused white pupils. “tori. you look amazing.”

She smirked. “I am not _trying_ to look amazing. I am trying to blend in!”

“that’s what i meant. you look like you’re gonna blend in amazingly well.”

Of course that was what he had meant. Toriel scoffed good-naturedly and led the way down into the tunnel.

It was always portentous when she saw these walls. The one exception had been the recent, brief period during which she had come this way regularly to exchange jokes with Sans. Aside from that, whenever she walked this hall, she was either about to leave the confines of her home for some important reason—she never left due to mere caprice—or she was returning from such a trip; or worse, she was about to confront one of her human children who desired, for whatever reason, to escape her nest. Toriel did not like these purple walls.

She considered saying as much to Sans, but decided to remain silent. There would be plenty of time to make that observation and many, many others over the years. In time, there would be little about herself that she would not tell to Sans, and since they would have chiefly only each other as company for the long and foreseeable future, there was certainly no rush. Perhaps there would come a time when Sans, too, would have little that he would not tell Toriel. For the present, he was a creature of secrecy, with thick defenses… but over time, how could that not yield? If Sans could eventually be enticed to drop his shield and show his true self to Toriel… well, would that not be worth living for? Indeed, she would look forward eagerly to such a future.

They came to the outer doors, the sound of wind audible beyond them. Toriel put up her hood and tucked in her ears. She took a deep breath. “For Alphys,” she declared.

“for alphys,” echoed Sans. Yet Toriel knew that he was doing it for her, not for the memory of the departed scientist. She was content with that.

She pushed open the doors and faced a bluster of snow. At least the wind was not in her face. But it was bitterly cold, and she was tempted to simply return home, put on a kettle of tea, and bake some cookies. Still, life was made of more than easy moments. How unsatisfying it would be if every moment in life were easy! So Toriel bore up, breathed in through her nose, and trudged into the cold, frozen forest.

Sans shut the doors behind her with a double thunk. She heard him made a noise—a sudden intake of breath. She stopped walking.

Sans wasn’t moving. Apart from the wind, there was silence. For some reason, Toriel was afraid to look back.

“Sans?” she asked. "What has happened?”

It was too long before he answered. “tori?”

“Yes, Sans?”

“…i know you’ve been through a lot of big life changes lately.”

Her nervousness was growing, but still she did not look back. “…Yes?”

“…and i really don’t want to make you go through another one. but…”

“…Yes, Sans?”

“…but i really think you ought to look back and to your left.”

These words cut like a shard of ice. Look back? How could simply looking back change a person’s life? And in a major way, no less? Whatever it was, would it fail to harm her if she did not look? If she wished to continue her life as she knew it—humble, yes, but hopeful—should she simply trudge on and ignore Sans’s peculiar words?

Yet to look was harmless, was it not? To look could do nothing but give her information. It was up to _her_ whether to act on that information. And if it was the sort of choice that was made for her… the sort of choice that was no choice… then the right choice was the _only_ choice.

Having so reasoned, Toriel determined to look. She peered back over her left shoulder…

“ _OH MY GOD,_ ” said Toriel.

In the snow, face up, wrapped in a blanket and frozen stiff, lay a small figure.

It was Dr. Alphys.

What she she doing here? How was she alive? No. That didn’t matter. Toriel barged forward and picked up the all-too-cold body. A piece of paper fluttered from her yellow hand—“RUINS OR BUST” was all that was written on it.

“welp, here we go,” said Sans.

…

Fire. Soothing, warming fire through her hands. “Open the doors!” she ordered sharply. Sans did, and Toriel strode through, seeing the purple walls so soon again—so soon, yet they _had_ been portentous, had they not? Fireballs, lobbed angrily at the ceiling to warm this place up, this wretchedly cold corridor. _Be warm! I am telling you, warm up—I have a life to save!_ Toriel touched the frigid face, the face that was not yet dust. The sound of Sans’s footsteps behind her vanished. As she walked, she rubbed the scaled features with her muzzle, her cheeks, her face. She blew warm air onto them. She removed the doctor’s spectacles and placed them in her single long pocket. Her feet led her through the inner doors. She kissed the yellow snout. “Doctor, please stay with us,” she whispered. “Please stay. Please stay. Your life has value. Your life has value.”

“SANS!” she bellowed back along the hallway.

“two steps ahead of you,” came his voice from up ahead.

Toriel marched up the staircase, bearing her burden as if it were part of her. Sans was in the living room with a supply of towels. Toriel carried Alphys in and set her down near the fireplace. _The living room. What better place to ensure life continues?_ She threw a dozen tiny sparks into the fireplace—several of them caught and a fire started to grow. Toriel unwrapped the felt blanket, stretch by stretch. A backpack fell out. She removed the white labcoat, only to expose a black polka-dotted dress over a set of thermal pajamas; these she removed too. Alphys lay almost naked on the rug, left in only a pair of red panties. Toriel took the towel Sans provided and dried off the doctor’s scales, moving swiftly, still pouring heat through the skin of her hands. The snout twitched; the chubby toes came next.

“—hhhngghhh—”

“You may rest for now, doctor. I am warming you. If you become too hot, please let me know by wiggling your foot. I am not familiar with how to treat hypothermia in reptiles, but I am assuming that it is better to keep you dry for now. If not, we have water available. Know that you are loved. Know that you are valued.” Toriel ran her hands over the doctor’s sides, her belly, her chest, her back. She was growing tired from the use of so much magic, but knew she would have time later to rest.

Sans was standing there. “does she need anything else? food, maybe? or—”

Toriel was filled with rage. “Were you simply going to leave her there, Sans? If I had refused to look back?”

He was silent.

Toriel returned to her patient’s care. Why was she here? It did not matter. How had she allowed herself to grow so cold? No, that did not matter either. She moved her hands smoothly over Alphys’s legs, one at a time, her tail, her arms. The lizard’s head shook—it must be nerves, since reptiles did not shiver for warmth. Or was Alphys different?

“I-I-I… I’m, uh, I’m uh…”

“You will be safe,” said Toriel. “Are you too warm?” The fire was roaring now.

Alphys shook her head.

“Know that you are valued,” said Toriel again. “Know that you are loved.” She wrapped Alphys again in her blanket, which Sans had dried at the fire.

“Y-Y-Y-You found me,” said Alphys.

“Yes,” said Toriel. “We found you.”

“I-I-I… I g-g-guess I did s-s-something p-p-pretty s-stupid, h-h-huh?”

“Shhh,” Toriel said, placing a finger over her patient’s snout. “Time enough for that later. For now, what is important is that you are comfortable. Are you too hot? Too cold? Are you thirsty or hungry? Do you feel safe?”

Alphys lay back with her eyes open wide. “M-my gl-glasses,” she said.

“I have them here,” Toriel reassured her. “Would you like me to tuck you into bed?”

Alphys nodded spasmodically. Toriel held her chin gently to calm her, then carried her into Toriel’s own bedroom. Sans pulled back the blankets, and Toriel set Alphys down and brought them up again. She placed a hand on her patient’s forehead. “Dr. Alphys, I must ask a personal question. Are you warm-blooded, or cold-blooded?”

Alphys looked surprised for a moment. “I—I’m ectothermic…”

“That means cold-blooded, correct? In that case, I suspect it is safe to let you sleep. Your core temperature will not drop. Am I correct?”

Alphys nodded weakly. “I should… I should tr-tr-try to sleep…”

Toriel patted her gently on the head and stepped away from the bed. “I will stay with you. I will remain here until you are well.”

“O… okay.”

Toriel loomed over the foot of the bed. “Dr. Alphys,” she said for the third time. “Know that you are loved. Know that you are valued. Do you understand?”

Alphys nodded several times, eyes wide.

“Good. Go to sleep, doctor. I will have Sans heat up some pie for when you awaken.”

“B-b-but—but—”

Toriel stared. “Are you uncomfortable?”

Alphys shook her head.

“Then we will save conversation for later. Go to sleep.”

The doctor shut her eyes and was asleep within a few minutes. Toriel stood there watching, hands grimly folded.

“i knew you were going to look back,” said Sans, beside her.

Toriel did not so much as glance at him. “And if I had not?”

Sans was silent.

[++++++++++++++++++++++]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toriel uses a contraction in her thought process because she’s firing on all cylinders! Did you spot it?
> 
> Interesting coincidence: shortly after I wrote this chapter, my godmother gave me a burgundy hoodie. "I am a WRITER," it says. "I Dream while Awake."


	23. A Better Choice, However Marginal

**Scene 23: A Better Choice, However Marginal**

_or_

“Reunited”

 

* * *

 

 

ALPHYS WAS a schoolgirl, dressed to a tee in her cream-colored uniform with a red sash. As every day, she nearly danced along the road to school, greeting street vendors she knew, following her classmates as they gossiped and laughed. She was the misfit, with her chunky figure and yellow tail and scaly body, but that was okay. That just gave her something to overcome! She was already making friends with an ambitious girl called Ritsuko, who was in turn determined to become popular, and if Alphys could help her do that, maybe that would help her become popular herself! She knew that even though the other girls didn’t have tails or scales and were all so graceful in their uniforms, they could learn to care about Alphys in time, because Alphys would keep trying to make friends and never give up! Eventually, they would see how beautiful she was on the inside and no one would care about the way she looked, and they’d all be a big happy gang together. Besides, she was good at school, and she liked her classes, and the sun was shining so brightly…

But the harbor was brilliant green, and the water sparkled and smelled of fresh life, and the fishermen’s boats were surrounded by leaping saury and mackerel. And fathoms below the surface, Alphys was a mermaid. She wore a seashell brassiere even though she didn’t have breasts, just for the fashion of it, but was otherwise bare. She was constantly amazed by the speed she could attain with a few easy flips of her powerful tail. The fishing boats were her enemies, but she didn’t want anyone to get hurt, so she only sabotaged them in subtle ways that would make their outriggers collapse or their trawls break apart, and in extreme cases, she and her fellow merfolk would sink fishing boats in the quay at night. There were rules against meeting humans, but so far as Alphys knew, everyone broke them, because all her friends had their favorite spots for meeting humans at the shore, or under a bridge, or at the seaside railing of some swanky restaurant. That was where Alphys liked to go. There was a young man there who liked to bring women to the restaurant and see how far he could seduce them in one night… and when they were gone, he would lean over the metal fence and chat with Alphys, and she’d do her best to find out what he  _really_ wanted in life. Because it couldn’t just be night after night of meaningless conquest! He was far too special for that. Maybe, she suggested, what he really wanted was a life at sea? At first, he’d laughed it off, but now he was starting to take the idea seriously… and the full moon shone so big and bright…

For over the sea, after all, were enormous lands with mountains in the distance and seas of flowers, and there were elegant dome-shaped manor houses with paths leading through their huge, proud gardens and overlooking moss-covered rocky bluffs, and in the center of it all stood the cone-shaped tower of the countess. And Alphys was a courtier. She had a selection of finery to choose from each day, and a different wardrobe to choose from at night, for no one wore the same thing both morning and evening. There were gold brocades and orchid sequin skirts and translucent gowns designed to wear one over another, and while most of the ladies wore elegant soft-soled shoes, Alphys alone chose to go barefoot, and that was what she was known for. She knew snippets of all the intrigues at court, but went out every dusk to learn more—through artfully carved internal windows in the tower, or through hedges in the garden, she overheard talk, and chose wisely the exact moment to join in. A certain foreign courtier known as Jamshid Shir-Del had been talking recently about starting a new religion, and Alphys thought she just might be able to help… and the sun at twilight was so glorious…

Nighttime settled over the world like a blanket, and Alphys rose in awareness through it… until it was real, more real than she had expected it to be, and she realized that she was clutching the edge of a blanket, and that she was dreaming, and that she was about to wake up. Then fear returned to her, because she remembered suddenly that real life was a frozen nightmare, and that when she had fallen into dreams, she had been about to die.

It wasn’t cold, though. Deep inside, she still felt a lump of coldness… but the room was warm, and her scales were warm, and she was in a bed far too large for her, and there was a pillow beneath her head far softer than anything she had ever bought herself. She wondered what had happened. She sat up.

A figure was sitting in a chair at the foot of the bed. As Alphys moved, the figure jerked to attention. Through the darkness, she could almost recognize…

Oh! It was the queen! Now Alphys remembered. She’d come to see the queen, but had been unable to get through the door in the forest, and slowly she’d come to accept that she would die there, and that perhaps someday the queen would come out of her home and find a pile of dust waiting for her—or perhaps she would have blown away by then. But the queen… oh gosh, the queen had found her in time to save her life!

Alphys had no idea what to say. How much did she owe this monster? How many apologies? Her memories swam.

“Good afternoon, Dr. Alphys!” The voice was friendly… that felt nice. “I am very glad to see you awake.”

What do you say at a moment like this? The words, the social niceties just weren’t coming to Alphys. “You saved me.”

“Yes. You were unconscious in the snow, and very cold, and I was afraid you were going to die. But I brought you in and saved you.”

Now a familiar phrase found its way to Alphys’s lips, along with a familiar emotion. “I’m s-sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Toriel’s ears turned slightly, as if to wonder what Alphys was sorry about. That was a good question, wasn’t it?

“I… I know you probably…” She swallowed. “…don’t think much of me. I’m sorry that I made you save me. It probably… didn’t feel very good, did it?”

The tall monster’s hands unclasped. She looked simply at Alphys, her eyes gleaming in the low light.

Alphys remembered something she seemed to recall hearing over and over.  _Know that you are valued. Know that you are loved._ “Wait. Did you… tell me that I… am valued?”

“So you _do_ remember! We spoke briefly before you fell asleep.”

“D-did we? I don’t actually remember that at all. I must have been only s-semiconscious.”

Toriel peered. “You used the word ‘ectothermic.’”

Alphys chuckled. It hurt. “Well, that’s me, I guess. Always with the big words.”

The queen took a step forward. Was that… a hoodie she was wearing? “Then allow me to clarify. It was not in any way unpleasant to save you, Dr. Alphys. It was a great joy.” Her tone was surprisingly dry for what she was saying. “Do you know why my companion and I left the ruins this morning, thus affording us the chance to save you?”

“N-no?”

“Of course you do not. Forgive me. It was because we were going to your funeral, doctor. We believed that you were dead.”

What? “Oh. Yeah. I… that’s kind of f-funny, actually. I never imagined the news would reach you here. I just… I wanted everyone back home to think I’d jumped over the waterfall, into the abyss… I wrote a note… but I never actually said that’s what I was doing.” She felt sickly, thinking back on it now. “I never actually said I was going to kill myself… just that I was going away to a… a b-better place.”

“Yet you led them all to believe that you were dead.”

Was that wrong? Alphys hated being guilty of wrongdoing in the presence of the queen. “Either th-that, or… in another world below this one, where… things are different.”

“At the capital, they are holding a funeral for you as we speak.”

Alphys swallowed. She felt guilty for not being dead. “I doubt many monsters will show up.”

Toriel stepped to her bedstand and picked up a newspaper. “I am forced to disagree. It is an affair of state. The festivities began at nine.” She examined the paper. “There was a parade at eleven. The homilies began at noon. Empress Undyne delivered the benediction at half past one, if this schedule is to be believed. It is now a quarter to three, which means that the families of your patients, the amalgamates, are currently giving their testimonials. At half past three, the Undernet gaming tournament, whatever that is, will start. And at six, Mettaton will host a two hour special broadcast extravaganza in your honor.”

_Oh god. Really?_ “A… are you serious? An all-day thing, just… just for me?”

Toriel handed her the newspaper, along with her glasses. “If I were you, doctor, I would be somewhat embarrassed.”

Undyne. She was in charge now. She must have made all this happen. “So Undyne really did love me!”

“I have no doubt of that. Still, one person cannot orchestrate a festival alone. Surely, there are many, many people who cared about you. And they are remembering you now, and wishing that you were still with them.”

Alphys felt like the trash she was. Except, if she was trash… why did they all care? It didn’t make sense. “I’m sorry I made you miss the funeral,” she said. “It sounds like a lot of fun.”

Toriel stared at her in disbelief. Oops. Had Alphys said the dumbest thing ever again?

“It _is_ a pity that I will not get the chance to show off my new hoodie,” admitted Toriel. “I sewed it especially for the occasion. But you cannot imagine I would be happier there than I am at the current moment.”

“You don’t seem happy,” objected Alphys.

“That is because I am trying to impress on you how irresponsible you have been.”

“Oh.”

“The truth is, I am ebullient,” she went on harshly. “I am swimming in happiness. Unlike any of the mourners, I am privy to the truth—the fact that happily—happily!—you still live. Doctor, I am immensely grateful that you considered coming to visit me a better choice, however marginally, to jumping into a bottomless pit.”

When she put it like that, it really did seem like a no-brainer, didn’t it? “I actually w-was going to jump into the pit,” she confessed. “That was my plan, all while I was bringing the Amalgamates home. People were y-yelling at me and calling me horrible things all day, and they… and they were right, and I figured I deserved to, um… die. But in the end, one of the amalgamates, uh, Arachnamate, wanted to stay with me. It wanted to go home more than anyone, but at the same time, it d-didn’t want to leave me. I guess that… woke me up to the idea that… maybe I was worth something? And when I made it go home anyway, I w-watched as it went back into its cozy home, with all its family so happy to see it… and I wished I could m-m-maybe have something like that for myself. I never had a family, though, and I didn’t think there was a-anyone in the world who’d be happy to see me. B-but then I thought of you… and how you were so nice to all those children…”

Toriel’s expression seemed to soften. It was hard to tell with the room so dark.

“I know we only met a couple times, aside from the phone conversations, but… something about you just… made a big impression on me, I guess,” Alphys went on. “And I thought you might be l-lonely, wherever you’d gone back to… and I guess I thought, maybe there was a… s-s-small chance I could help?” Did she really have to say this next part? _Do you want to come clean or don’t you?_ “…Even though I helped Undyne against you,” she finished.

Toriel smiled. “You were very thoughtful to think of me! As it happens, I am not alone here. I have a companion. But if you would like to dwell in the ruins, doctor, you will be more than welcome. There are numerous small monsters who also live here, and while they are not much for conversation, they are still company, and they even produce things worth buying, now and then. Moreover, there are plenty of old buildings that nobody lives in anymore, and I am sure you could fix one of them up to be your new home.”

Alphys smiled. “Y… you’re not mad at me?”

The boss monster grew serious. “Alphys. …May I call you simply by your name, without your title?”

“Huh? Of course.” _You’re the queen, after all,_ she almost said, remembering just in time that it wasn’t true anymore.

“At present, Alphys, any anger I may hold for you is secondary to how I feel. You see, I am overjoyed that you are still alive! And the prospect that I may soon have you as a neighbor tickles me further.”

Alphys felt tears of relief welling up. She hadn’t expected the queen she’d wronged to react this way. “I’m sorry just the same,” she cried. “I gave Undyne those blasters her army used in the battle. She pr-probably wouldn’t have won without those.”

Toriel’s face hardened. “For a while, I feared that blaster had destroyed my friend and companion. But the battle was not one of weapons. It was for the people’s hearts. The question was whether the monsters of the Underground would suffer a usurper to hurl the queen out of her own castle. And while I believe that it was close… in the end, they did. No amount of force on either side would have altered that.”

Alphys wasn’t so sure—she knew the psychological effects weapons could have. But she didn’t argue. “And I lied to you about not believing you were the real queen. Somehow, I—I knew it from the start. There’s just something… regal about you!”

“Why thank you, Alphys. As it happens, I was aware you were hiding your true motives. I simply did not know what they were, until I read this newspaper account.” The former queen gestured to the folded paper in Alphys’s lap. Alphys would have to read it herself. She wasn’t looking forward to it.

“It was true about their bullet patterns and speech changing,” she pled. “I tried to be as h-honest as I could, without… giving myself up.”

“Yet in the end, you had to give yourself up anyway,” observed Toriel.

“Yes,” said Alphys, her features falling. “I did the wrong thing.”

“I was afraid that _I_ had done the wrong thing, when I read that you committed suicide,” said Toriel. “If I had pushed less… if I had not pried with those final questions at our dinner… perhaps I would not have broken your will. I should have realized that you were in a fragile state.”

The idea that the queen had been wrong to do it upset Alphys. “N-no, you were right! You tried to get to the bottom of things. Asgore always let it go… but you actually wanted to…” How could she put it? “…to make sure that the right thing got done. And look—I didn’t kill myself!” She set her hands on her chest—it was surprisingly nice to feel how solid she was. “I came here, instead!”

“And if Arachnamate had not shown you compassion in those final hours?”

Alphys reflected. “Then I…. guess I might be dead now. The truth is, I almost died anyway, just due to my own stupidity. I went to the edge of the waterfall to leave footprints, and then I took off with the jetpack in my phone to fly to Snowdin… but I was too o-overwhelmed with emotion and lost control of the phone, and I dropped it when I was still thirty feet up, and I was just barely able to land in the water. I c-climbed out and decided to just, um,  _walk_ to Snowdin. But I… I was still a little wet when I got there, and I didn’t want to stay at the inn in case someone talked to them later and realized I’d been there, so I just… kept trucking.” She looked over and saw a wardrobe—were her clothes in there? “And it t-turned out I hadn’t really dressed warmly enough for Snowdin. I thought three layers of clothes plus a blanket would be enough! But a b-blizzard came up, and the road was longer than I remembered, and when I finally reached the purple doors in the forest… they were locked, and no one answered when I knocked. I kept knocking, and tried yelling a little, but since my blowtorch app had been in my phone, I didn’t have any way in! So I, um. I just kept knocking until I couldn’t stand up any longer, and then I rested a while to get back my strength, and…” She shivered at the memory of the snowstorm… at the feeling of her energy leaving her.

“Then we have both made mistakes, and we are both fortunate,” said Toriel.

“Fortunate?” asked Alphys. It was true, she did feel fortunate to still be alive, but Toriel had lost everything. How was _she_ fortunate?

“Do you not feel fortunate? You are in a warm bed and a warm home, and you are safe. As for me, I count myself very fortunate that I did not inadvertently play a part in ending yet another life. Indeed, just yesterday I was saying to Sans that one of the things I had most looked forward to as queen was getting to know you further. And now, against all the odds, I find myself with that very opportunity!” She smiled so warmly it couldn’t be mistaken, even in the near darkness. “I count myself as a very fortunate woman indeed.”

Alphys shivered. Not from fear, she realized, but excitement. “You wanted to… get to know me? But… why? All I did was obstruct you from learning the truth!”

“Oh dear! Is that how our conversations felt to you? I am terribly sorry. It is reassuring to know that you do have a conscience when it comes to falsehood, and that lying _is_ a burden to you. But leaving what you could not tell me aside, I was happy simply to have your company and your thoughts.”

Alphys remembered thinking of Toriel as a frightening new threat in her life, an intimidating figure. But now… it was beginning to look like they were no longer adversaries, and Alphys was amazed how terrific that felt. “I… I really wanted to be your friend. I wanted to tell you everything.”

Toriel paused to consider before speaking.

“Perhaps you should think of your being here as the beginning of a new life,” she suggested. “You may wish to imagine that you have been reborn, clean and fresh, here in the catacombs. You have no sins upon you, if you choose not to bear them. You are a good person, if that is what you decide to be. There does not need to be any ill will between us, doctor. I am willing to be your perfect friend, if you will be mine.” She stepped forward hopefully.

This was too much. No, not too much. It was just right. Alphys couldn’t have  _hoped_ for things to go better… aside from nearly freezing to death. It would have been better to show up, smiling and humble, at the front door to ask for forgiveness, as she’d planned. But the idea of starting again, of being reborn, seemed almost too painfully good to be true. Of course, it wasn’t true—she was still the same mess of a person she ever was, but… if her only neighbors accepted that she was someone new, it was almost as good as true, wasn’t it?

“I’m sorry,” she blurted. “I’m sorry for everything.”

“I do not want your apologies,” said Toriel cheerfully. “I have no use for them!”

“But… b-but I want to get them out of me! I’m sorry for so many things… and if I’m going to begin a new life, I need to clean out all the dirty, horrible parts and try to… try to start with a clean slate…”

Toriel walked forward and hugged Alphys. It was just like their hug in the castle… but better, because now Alphys wasn’t afraid. Toriel’s embrace smelled like the bedsheets, which made sense, because this was her bed, wasn’t it? She was strong and fluffy and solid and… just the right shape for hugging… and this wasn’t the beginning of a crush, was it? _Tell me this isn’t a crush!_

The hug was gentle, though, and in no way crushing. “You would do well to save your apologies, Alphys. For while I have no use for them, it is possible that my companion and housemate may. I did mention that we are not alone here, yes?” She stood watchfully beside the bed while Alphys looked up questioningly. “As it happens, Alphys, you and I have something in common. My housemate bears a grievance against us both. For either of us could have stopped the human child with the narrow eyes from marauding across the Underground, but neither of us did so. And for that reason, we must consider the possibility that the dust of their victims is on our hands.”

Of course it was.  _Of course it was._ That was the biggest, the most absurd and terrible of Alphys’s sins, and it had been stupid to think she could just wipe it away and forget about it. Of course it had caught up to her here. “Y-you’re right. It is. I’m sorry, Toriel. I can’t be reborn. I’m too filthy. I’m a… I’m just a piece of…”

“ _Hush._ ” Again came the comforting arms as Toriel stooped, though her embrace this time was brief and light. “We will let my companion be the judge. After all, that is his position! And while I lost the person who was once most important to me, he has suffered a much fresher and harder loss. For his brother was the most important person in his life.”

His brother? That could only mean… “Sans,” Alphys whispered. Now she remembered hearing his voice while lying helpless in the living room.

“Yes, he is the one who came with me into exile. And he will want you to answer for what you have done.”

Alphys gulped. Of course it had been too good to be true. Forgiveness doesn’t just come like  _that._ “O-okay. I’ll answer.”

“If you are still feeling weak, you do not have to do so right away,” Toriel reassured. “You may sleep further if you wish. Moreover, there is pie for you!”

Pie did sound good. “Um… well… I’ll have a slice of that, then… and I guess I’ll… read this newspaper… and then, if he really wants to, I’ll let Sans put me through the wringer.”

Toriel winced at the metaphor, but didn’t contradict Alphys. “Very well. I will be right back with your pie. …You will not turn up your nose at butterscotch, will you?”

As if Alphys was in any position to turn up her nose. The idea was kind of funny, actually. “Haha! Don’t worry! I would never turn up my nose at anything you bake.”

Toriel seemed to light up. “Never?” Her smile grew mischievous. “In that case, I will be sure to put that to the test! But for now, I will be right back with your pie.”

Alphys held her hands nervously together. She got the sense she’d given Toriel a treat none of her human children had ever given her— _carte blanche_ with baking! But if things didn’t go well with Sans, did that mean she wouldn’t ever get to come back? She wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

* * *

Toriel delivered the pie as lovingly as she knew how, then left Alphys to eat, read, and ready herself. She walked swiftly back to the living room. Sans was waiting by the bookcase, paging idly through a history book; Toriel suspected he was not really reading.

“how’s the doc?” he asked.

“I am relieved. She seems to be well.”

“what’d you talk about?”

What, indeed? They had touched a bit on everything, so it seemed. “I explained to her that she is being honored in the capital as we speak. And that I will be glad to have her for a neighbor, once she is ready to build a home of her own.”

“neighbor, huh? so she’s here for keeps?”

“She did not seem interested in returning to the outside world, although we did not discuss it directly.”

There was the briefest flash of blue in Sans’s eye. “i don’t suppose  _we_ have any say in that, do we?”

He was angling at ejecting her from the Ruins. Toriel found herself incensed, but suppressed it. “If she chooses to rehabilitate a dwelling in Home, we can hardly prevent her. We do not own the entire city.”

“we don’t, huh? good to know. i mean, i almost thought you were queen here.”

Aplomb, she told herself. Aplomb and decorum. How you handle this issue with your companion will color your interactions for a long time to come. “If I were queen here, Sans, would I have to pay for my purchases of sugar and flour? I consider myself simply the ward of the Ruins. I am its gatekeeper, yes, and I tend the flowers, for which the small monsters give me a certain amount of purchasing credit. But I am not their ruler.”

Sans processed this in silence. He put away the book he was not reading.

“I also told Dr. Alphys that she should save her apologies. I told her that you would wish to speak to her, once she is ready.”

“can’t say i’m looking forward to it.”

Toriel was growing tired of his petulance. “Well, Sans, I expect she is not especially looking forward to it herself.”

He grinned. “maybe we shouldn’t do it, then.”

“Should not do what? You will have to talk to her sooner or later.”

“we could make it like a game. she comes down the corridor, i slip around the long way… she comes to see me, i’m out working…”

“Sans, you cannot avoid her the whole time she is here! Besides, there is no ‘long way.’”

“oh, there’s a long way. and if she doesn’t want to talk to me, and i don’t want to talk to her… what’s to stop us not talking?”

“This is ridiculous, Sans! You have issues that you need to resolve with Alphys!”

“i don’t know if there’s any resolution that keeps all of us happy, tori.”

This caught her off guard. She paused, her lips tightening. “Even so,” she said. “We must try.”

Sans seemed to see how serious Toriel had become. “fine. i’ll talk to her. but i’m not judging her, tori.”

At first she failed to take his meaning; then she realized that he meant it in the professional sense. “But why not? It seems to me a judgment may be exactly what she needs.”

“but it’s not what i need, tori. or you.”

“Sans, I do not understand.”

“nope. you don’t.”

“What good is a judge, if he cannot bring closure where there is conflict?”

He walked past her, into the kitchen. “i think you’re looking for a mediator, tori. that’s not what a judge does.”

She followed. “Please enlighten me, then. What exactly does a Judge do?”

He took a piece of cold pie from the fridge. “i told you already. i figure out whether folks are good people or not. nothing to do with closure.”

“But does a judge not also pronounce sentence?” Toriel pressed.

He looked at her, and one eye glared blue for long enough to disturb her. “you really want me to pronounce sentence on the girl who let my brother die?”

She was unnerved—she had to admit that. But this point had to be argued. “We all could have prevented it! You, me, Alphys—any one of us could have captured the child and brought them to Asgore, if we had thought it best.”

“yeah,” said Sans. “we were all caught off guard. but alphys. she’s the one who didn’t do anything about it afterward.”

“And what, exactly, did you do?” demanded Toriel, though she instantly regretted it.

The skeleton stepped forward, butterscotch filling dripping from his pie. “not. a. thing. do you know why, tori? do you know why i didn’t pound that walking anomaly into oblivion?”

She was saddened to hear him speak like this. “I do not.”

“because i’m the judge. and beating people up? that’s not what the judge does.”

Then… “Did you… judge the human child?”

“…yeah.”

Toriel reflected. “I do not suppose your judgment was a kind one.”

“…no. it wasn’t.”

She spoke softly: “But what difference did it make?”

He sighed. “maybe none. i told asgore the judgment i’d rendered. it might’ve made him fight a little harder. then again, maybe not.”

“And… were you surprised when the child defeated Asgore?”

“kind of. kind of not.”

She pressed on, wanting a fuller picture of things. “Were you… were you watching when the fight took place?”

“nope. that wasn’t my job. i gave asgore his privacy.”

“And had you been watching, would you have interfered?”

He paused. “i don’t know, tori.”

Toriel frowned. It saddened her to revisit all this, but she wanted to understand. “Well, Sans. I do not need you to judge Dr. Alphys right away, but I would like you to render formal judgment on her at some point.”

“sorry, tori. not gonna happen.”

Was he working for her or not? He left the kitchen, nibbling on pie, and Toriel followed. “But Sans! I only wish I knew why not!”

He turned just enough to glimpse her in the corner of his eye. “’cause there’s only two real ways that can go, tori. sure, there’s details, and there’s levels of violence. but when it comes down to it, either she’s an okay person, or she’s not.”

“And if she is not?” challenged Toriel.

“then she’s got to go. and you wind up unhappy, ‘cause you won’t believe me when i say she was irredeemable. and who can blame you? i’m biased. i wouldn’t believe me either.”

That was a fair point—Sans did have a stake in Alphys’s wrongdoings. “But were you not biased in your judgment of the human child?”

“course i was. but they made it all the way to the hall of judgment, so it had to be done.”

“And do you think your bias altered your judgment?” Toriel pressed.

“i called them a dirty brother killer. what do you think?”

She took a breath. Of course he had. Toriel tried her best not to dwell on her time with the child. “But… but Sans… what if it turns out that Alphys is a  _good_ person at heart?” As Toriel was nearly certain she was, deep down.

“then that’s even worse,” he replied.

She stared. “How could that possibly be worse?”

He faced her. “because then i’m gonna have to forgive her. don’t do that to me, tori.”

Toriel was stunned. What could she say in response to that?

Sans took one more bite of pie and left the remaining half-eaten slice on the table. “i’ll be in my room. let me know when she’s ready to talk.”

She watched him leave, then sat down hard in her chair and exhaled. Was forgiveness really so hard as all that?

But then she remembered her seven children. Yes, she realized. Forgiveness  _was_ that hard. It had taken Asgore’s death for her even to  _begin_ forgiving him. And from the way her feelings currently swam in her heart, she knew that process had only just begun.

[**************+++++++++] 


	24. Unmaking Beds

  **Scene 24: Unmaking Beds**

_or_

“Confessions”

 

* * *

 

It was funny how many different kinds of sweetness there were. Butterscotch, after all, was just a form of sugar, with butter and a little salt mixed in… but it had a really distinctive flavor. Given that a pie was always going to have sugar and butter in it, a butterscotch pie should be essentially nothing. It should be pie-flavored pie. But it wasn’t. Oh, stars, this pie was good.

At the same time, caramel was also essentially a form of sugar. And so was toffee. And honey… and molasses… can’t forget cotton candy… and yet, you could buy yogurt or ice cream or candy in any of those flavors, not to mention just ‘brown sugar’, and they would all taste different. Sweetness wasn’t a flavor—it was an entire catalog of flavors! And this pie Alphys was eating was proof that the very same ingredients could be spun up to make incredibly different things.

Take a young monster, for example, hatched in the Hotland incubator. Don’t give her any parents, just wards in charge of dozens. Afflict her with mild asthma and a stutter. Expose her to books, machines, ridicule, and a random DVD of an ancient human cartoon called Merry Melodies. Make her so unpopular that she can only befriend girls younger than herself, and put her house on a street near a garbage dump filled with artifacts from the surface. …See what develops! The question was… can those ingredients only add up to one thing? Or are they like butterscotch and caramel—are there multiple ways they can turn out?

This pie was actually a lot like Toriel herself, really. It had the appearance of being the same all throughout, and tasted that way, too—no layers, no hidden secrets or aftertaste. And it was really, really sweet. But the flavor wasn’t just sweetness—it was striking and distinctive and delicious, and it left Alphys wondering how in the world it was made. It was sublime.

_Didn’t you start out with the premise that it was a lot like Toriel?_ asked her inner voice.  _It’s official—you’re crushing._ What? No she wasn’t! She was just employing an extended analogy! Her inner voice shrugged.  _With you, same thing._

There was a knock on the door.

Well, this was it. “C-come in?” called Alphys.

The door cracked open just a bit and the skeleton slid in. It shut again with a tiny click. Yep, this was the guy she’d met in the castle, all right. He was wearing the same blue hoodie, but somehow he looked a lot darker now. Even aside from the fact the room was dark. He scared her, and even more unsettling than that was the fact that he looked scared of her, too.

“hey.”

“Hi.”

“tori told me you were ready to talk.”

Alphys nodded. She was ready. She didn’t know what would happen, but she had an odd conviction that whatever happened to her, she would deserve.

The visitor stood motionless, facing the bed where Alphys still lay. Hadn’t he been farther away a second ago? He didn’t say anything. Was he going to? He had mentioned talking, right?

“So… wh-what do you want to talk about?” Alphys ventured.

“the truth is, i don’t really want to talk at all. i would’ve been happy just avoiding you forever. but toriel put me up to this. you’ve gotta resolve your issues, she said.”

Alphys felt her breathing quicken. Did that mean Toriel wanted her to suffer? Well, maybe that was for the best. Maybe she should suffer. “Wh-what issues are those?” she asked.

He was silent a while. “i think you can guess,” he finally said.

And she could. He meant exactly what she’d been the most afraid of. “P-P-Papyrus,” she managed.

His eyes… something about his eyes was wrong, suddenly. “bingo.”

Alphys breathed. She couldn’t broach the subject. She could answer questions, but she couldn’t open it herself.

“so tell me,” said the skeleton. “what mettaton said on his so-called ‘final episode.’ was it true?”

She nodded weakly. It was.

“you got him to pretend to be a killer, so that you could rescue the kid and be their hero?”

Mettaton hadn’t been very flattering in his exposition, but he’d been basically right. “He made it sound like I was so c-c-carried away by the human’s story that I just… had to be a part of it. But it wasn’t about  _inserting_ myself into the adventure.” No, that wasn’t nearly pathetic enough. “It was that… well, I’d never met a human! But so much of what I love comes from their world! Their stories, their books, their cartoons and comics… When I was little, I used to d-dream of making friends with a human someday. And I, um,  _kept_ dreaming of that. When I got older. I… I’d be lying if I said it isn’t  _still_ one of my dreams! And here was my chance, at last! The chance I thought would never come. A human was working their way through the Underground, and I… I couldn’t let them just pass by, could I? I had to meet them. But I couldn’t just say hi and introduce myself, could I? B-because I knew what would happen if I did that. They’d say hi back, and then just keep on going, and then they’d either l-leave or be killed. Sure, I could say I wanted them to stay and be friends, but why would they do that? It’s not like I’m good at making friends. S-sometimes I’m not sure I’d even want to be my own friend.

“No… if I wanted them to stick around, I knew I’d have to do s-something really extraordinary. I couldn’t just show them an anime or play a video game with them. Sure, they might enjoy it, but they’d still move on to fight Asgore, and one way or another, they’d be gone. If I wanted them to stay, I knew I had to impress them. I couldn’t just… be myself. I had to be a hero! I had to save them from something! And that meant I needed a villain to fight… and there was only one person I could call on to be a villain for me. …Mettaton. I knew it might be the last favor he’d ever do me, but if I could make friends with a human, it would all be totally worth it. I could ask about so many things I still didn’t know… we could talk about human history, and monster history… and I could do science experiments on them! And to clean up from it all, we’d make some ramen and watch anime together all day long! It would have been a dream come true…”

All through her speech, the skeleton’s expression had barely changed. Alphys knew she was probably angering him more, but she couldn’t help it—once she started being honest, she had to let her feelings out.

“so you hatched this elaborate plot to trick this person you wanted to be your new best friend.”

Oh, gosh. There were so many other questionable aspects to the whole arrangement that Alphys had barely thought about that one. “…I guess I would have told the truth eventually? After we were such good friends I knew they would stay anyway? I wasn’t even thinking that far ahead. I just wanted them to be friends with me, no matter what it took. …And it wasn’t an elaborate plot—I really just shouted at Mettaton to pretend to be an evil, malfunctioning robot and threaten the human, but then let me save them every time, and he… he basically just improvised the rest. He’s a really good improviser.”

“doesn’t sound like you thought it out really well.”

“There wasn’t time! The human was plowing through Waterfall and I needed some way to impress them! And Mettaton owed me a k-k-kinda big favor, so…”

“a big favor? you mean, for creating him?”

“Um… kind of?”

“yeah, i can see how that might count as a pretty big favor. on the other hand, if someone hasn’t been created yet, can you really do them a favor?”

That was actually an interesting question. It seemed to depend on the exact timing of when the credit for granting a favor resolved… “I—I don’t know! But he did a great job… until he got sick of me and decided to betray me, I mean.”

“seems like you’re a whiz at picking friends. mettaton, who betrayed you. undyne, who thinks you betrayed _her_. and that kid.”

He actually had a really good point. But what was Alphys supposed to do— _not_ try to make friends? “Um…”

He was standing closer than before, somehow. She still hadn’t seen him move. “reckoning time. did you, or did you not, know that that kid had killed my brother when you made your plan?”

She had. She’d seen it. “I, um… well, I wasn’t really paying full attention the whole time…”

One of his eyes flashed bright blue. Oh god. “don’t shit me, alphys. yes or no?”

“Y-yes! Yes, I did know. I saw them do it. I didn’t know he was your brother, though!”

Her interrogator leaned forward. “you told me you knew him. when we met at the castle.”

“From the Undernet! Not in real life. I… didn’t know what he looked like.”

The skeleton drooped. “you knew papyrus, but you didn’t know what he looked like? that’s just sad. it’s sad when things can be that way.”

Of all the horrifying and embarrassing things she’d done,  _that_ was what he called sad? “I really wish he hadn’t died,” she lamely offered.

“but you were apparently fine with trying to be besties with his murderer.”

That sounded so horrible. “I… I figured the human was just confused by their surroundings… and didn’t know what they were doing! Papyrus kept talking about trying to capture them… I was… I was appalled when they killed him, yes, but I wasn’t really that surprised. I figured I could… explain that monsters deserve compassion just like human beings, and the human would be sorry, and explain how afraid they’d been, and we’d hug, and it would all…” She trailed off.

“it would all be all right. that’s what you were going to say?”

“Um… yes. So there you go. That’s how h-horrible I am. I was ready to forgive the human for k-killing your brother.”

“you thought a life was an okay price to pay for your friendship.”

Did she? “Well—no! I mean, he was gone anyway. I didn’t see it coming and I couldn’t change it afterwards! I wouldn’t have tried to make friends with the human if it meant s-someone had to die.”  _Are you sure about that?_ asked her inner voice. “Er… well, I don’t  _think_ I would have.”

“so when you met the human, did you bring it up? did you tell them they’d done a terrible, terrible thing?”

Alphys bit her lip, realizing. “…No. I didn’t. I just blathered on about me and Mettaton.”

“guess that shows where your head was, huh?”

This was horrible. “…yes. I’m so selfish. I didn’t even think about the other monsters they might go on to kill. Except Asgore, I guess.”

“but even asgore was worth it, huh?”

“I honestly th-thought Asgore would win. B-but… I couldn’t blame the human for fighting him. What choice did they have? Asgore wasn’t going to let them go.”

“you were friends with asgore, weren’t you?”

Is it friendship if you cringe whenever someone calls you on the phone? For that matter, is it friendship if you fantasize about them in bed with you? “I used to be.”

“but the chance of his death was worth this wild dream of making friends with a murderous human?”

She had to think about that, painful though it was. “…No. Even if I hadn’t been trying to impress the human… I still would have let them go on to the palace. It wasn’t m-my right to take their soul.”

The skeleton tilted his head slightly. “you wanted to give them a fair chance?”

Was that it? It really was. If Asgore was the one who insisted on having every human killed who came through, it was only right that Asgore should have to kill them himself. “…Yes, I guess so.”

“that seems to be kind of a pattern for you.”

He meant Toriel. He meant giving her a chance to win the hearts of the monsters, even if it meant Undyne’s defeat. “Yeah, I guess… I guess it is.”

Somehow, he was back a step. “that sounds nice of you. it’s a nice, reasonable attitude.”

He was admitting she was reasonable? Even  _she_ wasn’t sure about that. “Um… th-thanks?”

He tilted forward. “…except that, because of your fair play attitude, i don’t have a brother, and this kingdom doesn’t have a real leader.”

It hit her like a stone. Did that mean fair play was wrong? It couldn’t, could it? You couldn’t just judge by the results! “…I’m sorry.”

“give me one reason i shouldn’t throw you out into the snow.”

She grappled for something to tell him, but nothing came. Maybe she  _did_ deserve to be tossed out. “Well… I don’t w-want you to.”

“that’s your reason? don’t throw me out, i don’t want you to?”

“I know I hurt you. Um… I haven’t been able to think it through thoroughly. I feel like it wasn’t wrong to give the human a fair chance to get home. But maybe it was. Maybe my principles are a-all wrong. It’s just that… if you kick me out, I’ll… I’ll die, and… and I’ll be gone, and… well, maybe that’s for the best, but…” But what? “But I don’t want to die,” she realized. “Not before I understand why I deserve it. Right now, I’m so confused… I don’t want to die confused. Please.”

The skeleton sighed. His hands sank deeper into his pockets. “i’m not gonna throw you out,” he said.

Alphys lay nervously against the headboard. Should she even question that?

“toriel would never forgive me if i did.”

Well thank goodness for Toriel! But she was still left struggling internally. If it weren’t for Toriel’s kindness, would the skeleton choose to snuff her out? Would she be left to perish in the snow? And worse, would she deserve it?

“okay,” said Sans. “good talk. i’ll see you around, alphys.”

“W-wait! You’re leaving?”

“yup.”

She sat up straight. “B-but… we haven’t gotten to the bottom of anything!”

“sorry. that’s as much as i can take.”

He left, and Alphys was left to wonder what he meant. Was it that painful listening to her? Was she such a horrible person that just being in the room with her made Sans suffer, until finally he had to escape?

Well, what was Alphys supposed to do, then? She couldn’t escape from herself.

It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried.

* * *

He strolled out of the kitchen, casually drinking from a bottle of ketchup. Toriel knew she did not have any ketchup in the kitchen. Moreover, she had not seen Sans enter the kitchen, though she had been sitting in the living room crocheting the whole time. She was coming to accept this sort of thing as one of his endearing oddities. However, she resented the way he strolled past without meeting her eyes.

“Sans. How did it go?”

“oh, you know. we talked about this and that.”

“And…?”

“and what? i didn’t judge her, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“No, you said that you would not. But have you come to terms with the doctor? Did you resolve your differences?”

He took another swig from the bottle. “i don’t figure the kind of differences we have can be resolved. but maybe that’s for the best. if we didn’t have differences, we’d all be alike.”

This was somehow unsatisfying. “Does that mean that you are unable to forgive Dr. Alphys?”

“dunno. i didn’t try. for now, i just wanted to learn more about her. find out what she was thinking. turns out she’s always dreamed of being friends with a human. did you know that?”

“No, I did not.” She had had no idea, in fact, but it did made sense. Toriel felt very fortunate in that she had had the chance to know several humans in her own time, even if most of them were children. She had been friendly with a number of human adults when she had lived on the surface thousands of years ago, but, try as she might, she could not remember their names or faces, except for the barest hint of an image here and there. “Perhaps I should discuss it with her.”

“be my guest. except that, you know. i’m your guest.”

“You are not a guest here, Sans. I thought we had made that clear. You are a full and equal partner in this home.”

“aw. does that mean i have to take turns doing the dishes?”

This was both amusing and consternating. “I would prefer that we do the dishes together, as we did on your first night here! But if you would prefer to take turns, I am amenable to that. Alternately, if you find you simply cannot abide dishes, you may find some other chore that you are willing to make your own.”

“how about unmaking the beds?”

Was he being supercilious? “I beg your pardon?”

“no, hear me out. making the beds is a chore, right?”

Toriel nodded. “Yes, it is. Although most people choose to make their own beds.”

“and if the beds never get unmade, there’s no way to make them, is there?”

So he was making a joke. “No—logically, there is not.”

“well then. we can’t make the beds until we unmake them. and that can be my job. i’m especially good at unmaking beds.”

Toriel was unsure whether to shut down this absurd logic or humor her companion. “Sans, the only reason that we make our beds in the first place is because they have been disheveled when we sleep in them.”

“precisely. that’s how i work the magic. power naps.”

“Would you say that you are better at putting things out of order than putting them in order?”

He grinned and winked. “now you’re starting to get me.”

So he really did need to be dealt with as a child. Well, Toriel was glad if she could play the role of mother again, in some small way. “But Sans, anyone can put a room or a shelf of books out of order. It requires patience and diligence to put things  _in_ order, which is how we can best enjoy them.”

“anyone can mix up a few things and mess up the floor a little, sure. but it takes talent to put things _really_ out of order.”

This was becoming disturbing. “What do you mean?”

His grin grew lopsided. “you sure you want to find out?”

“No, I am not sure. I am doubtful that disorder serves any purpose! And if you are going to continue as my housemate, Sans, I expect you to do an equal share of the work.”

“ok. hey. if we’re equal partners in the house and all, does that mean I get an equal say in how long alphys gets to stay here?”

She had to admit that was a fair point. But what did it mean in practice? Tearing the lizard apart and letting half leave and half remain? What an awful thought. “That is fair, yes. But that means that we must come to a consensus.”

“and if we can’t come to a consensus?”

Toriel frowned. “Are you so eager to send her on her way?”

“not really. i just want to know where i stand.”

“Well, that makes two of us!”

Sans stared at her for a long while. His grin remained, but it was hollow. “it was nicer before, wasn’t it?”

Before? “Before this morning, you mean?”

“yeah.”

Toriel did not know what to say. “I… sympathize with how you feel. It appeared that we were going to have a blissful existence, away from the world, without any cares. And now… a care has found us. And it has divided us. And yet…”

Sans tilted his head.

Toriel set aside the frog sweater she was crocheting and stood up. “…Well, surely, if two is company, then three is a party, is it not?” She smiled hopefully.

Sans’s smile became a smidge more genuine. “yeah. it’s a party. and you’re a real party animal, tori.”

That she was not, and she knew it. “Well, perhaps I can learn,” she suggested.

“i dunno. can you teach an old goat new tricks?”

She frowned. “I am not an ‘old goat,’ Sans. I am a boss monster. You may make jokes about me being a goat, but please do not make them unkind.”

He winked. “gotcha. truth is, i’m not sure  _i_ can learn.”

“To have a friendly neighbor, Sans? Or to forgive?”

He stood in thought.

“I do not think that Alphys will be a burden to you, living in the ruins of Home. If you do not wish for her to be your friend, you need simply be civil to her when she comes to visit me. But it would be so much better if you could find a way to enjoy her company, Sans. I am only thinking of the long years ahead.”

“no, you’re right. three is just as good as two, if not better. and it’s not like she’s gonna be staying here in the house. but.” He looked at the ketchup bottle, then set it down on the stair railing. “i’m not sure i can learn to live without him, that’s all.”

Toriel took a deep breath. “Well, you had better, Sans, because there is no way to bring him back.” She heard the edge of her own words—had that been too harsh?

“no kidding, huh? don’t worry, i’m doing my best. …it just got a little harder this morning, that’s all."

Toriel watched him walk out the front door, leaving the ketchup balanced precariously over the staircase. She yearned to offer comfort, but could think of nothing that would not inflame his feelings regarding their houseguest. She watched him cross the yard, pausing a moment to give the old, dead tree a brotherly nudge on his way out.

She sighed. If there was ever a moment for a sigh, this was it. Sans would have to work out his feelings on his own, for Toriel simply did not have the tools to dig through his emotional wall. Her children had sometimes posed similar challenges; some issues had worked themselves out, some had not. She liked to think that, given enough time, she would have gotten through to even the most intransigent of them… but they had not given her that time. Her children had left, rather than work things through, and she did not know whether it was because they were children, or because they were human, or because they were mortal. For one reason or another, they had been impatient to see the world or to escape her embrace, and they had left her.

And she could not blame them, really. At the end of the day, she really had very little to offer. Aside from love, of course.

A throat cleared timidly behind her.

Changing gears swiftly, Toriel turned around and found Alphys in her pajamas, leaning against the railing for support. She looked frail and uncertain. “Uh—uh—hello! I, uh… thought I’d try g-getting out of bed. Uh, I… think I’m doing better.”

“That is very good to hear. Would you like assistance, Alphys? Are you feeling at all faint?”

“Um… y-y-y-yes, I think faintness is what this is. I th-thought I might be all better and I just had to… you know—get up—in o-order to regain my st-strength, but I guess my c-core is still col-ld…”

Toriel went to the diminutive reptile and placed a hand supportively on her upper back. “Then we should set you near the fireplace, should we not?”

Alphys’s head jerked up with interest. “Oh! Y-y-yes, I suppose so!”

Toriel maintained her support as she led Alphys, step by step, into the living room. She lifted her hand to conjure a moderate flame in the fireplace, and was delighted to find that enough of her magic had returned that she was able to do it on the first try.

“Ooh… c-can I sit in the big chair?” asked Alphys.

“Of course! It is normally my chair, but this is an exceptional circumstance.” Toriel helped her over, and Alphys managed to spring up into the chair, but then tumbled backward, winding up with her head against the back. “Ooops!”

Toriel chuckled and reached in to set the doctor upright. “There you are!”

Alphys settled herself, curling her tail to one side and taking several deep breaths, followed by a yawn. “Yes,” she finally decided. “This is nice. Thank you, Toriel.” She looked around. “Is Sans out? I s-saw you watching at the door.”

‘Out’ was a good way of putting it. “Yes, he has gone for a walk to gather his thoughts.” She would not mention the nature of those thoughts unless Alphys brought it up. “I expect he will be back in time for supper.”

“Oh. S-speaking of food… I really loved… I really enjoyed the butterscotch pie you brought me. I’ve never had pie like that.”

This warmed Toriel’s heart. “Would you like seconds, Alphys?”

The little yellow hands clapped against her belly. “Is there more?” she asked eagerly. “Um—yes, please!”

Toriel tried to contain her smile as she went to the kitchen and fixed another slice for Alphys. This time she added a precious little dollop of whipped cream.

“Here you are, my friend,” she said.

Alphys took the plate and looked up. “Y—your friend? Are—are we friends, Toriel?”

“Shall we be? I was prepared to think of us as friends during our dinner at the castle, until you revealed that you did not yet trust me.”

“W-well, I trust you now! So… yes? I guess we are friends?”

Toriel extended a hand, smiling warmly. “Friends.”

Alphys shook two of her fingers with her own, much smaller hand. “Friends!”

At moments like this, it was good to bask in the simple joy of things. Toriel did not speak.

“I have to be honest,” said Alphys. “I felt terrible telling you that I didn’t trust you. And when you—when you called me up before your speech, I almost didn’t answer. I was too afraid to talk to you.”

“As I recall, you did not answer the first time, and I had to call again.”

“Er, yes… well, after we _did_ talk, I felt even worse. You just wanted to know where you’d gone wrong, and I… I couldn’t tell you. You opened up to me about your… your children, and about how you were afraid of Undyne, and nervous about your speech… and I still couldn’t tell you what you wanted to know. It felt like… like I was burning myself up, bit by bit, with every second I didn’t tell the truth.” Toriel watched her softly, their hands still touching. “Do you know how I started to think of you?” Alphys asked. “As a ‘figure of towering integrity.’ During our dinner, when I s-said I just wanted to do science for its own sake, you said I had exceptional integrity. B-but really, I don’t have much integrity at all! _You_ have so much integrity, it… it actually made me afraid.”

“Really?” asked Toriel, lowering herself to her knees so they could see more nearly eye to eye.

The lizard’s hand shook. “R-really! B-but on the other hand… you may not be the… the best judge of character?”

Something in the meekness of Alphys’s tone that suggested a wink and set Toriel laughing. “Because I gave you the benefit of the doubt?”

“Y-yes, exactly! You should have kept doubting me!”

“It is true, that is a weakness of mine. There was a time when I felt so in love… so very in love… that I could not imagine that my husband might hold any flaw, or that my love would ever quaver, or that anything short of death could end the perfect union I enjoyed.” Toriel took a deep breath to savor her memories of the happiest time in her life. “Have you ever felt that way, Alphys?”

“N-n-no… I’ve never been in love, really. It’s all been s-stupid crushes.”

How adorable! “I see! And yet, despite the purity of my conviction, I turned out to be wrong. So very wrong. You see, my marriage had simply not yet been truly tested by adversity. We had thought that being betrayed by humankind and driven underground had tested us, but in reality, it had not. Because through all of that, there was only one course we could take. Yes, we helped our race develop a new life underground, because, what else could we do? And while it brought us closer together, we had not yet faced a question of  _morality._ That is the only true test of a relationship. But for the first four thousand years of my life, I was simply too young and naive to understand that.”

She saw Alphys shake, even as her scaled fingers still clutched her own. Had it been a mistake to reveal her age, even in self-deprecation? “I’ve read a little about wh-what happened,” Alphys replied. “And I listened to those tapes. But… I’m still not clear on what exactly drove you and Asgore apart.”

“Would you like to know?”

“Y-yes, please.”

Toriel finally drew back her hand. She went to fetch a large pillow, which she set on the floor so that she could sit on it and speak in comfort. The last time she had sat this way before her own chair… must have been Celine. So very long ago…

How to begin? “You are probably aware that the seeds were set in motion when a human child fell through the passages in Mount Ebott and landed here in the Ruins, over nine hundred years ago. This child was not unlike the recent one who killed Asgore, but they came before all the others I mentioned in my speech. Their name was Ziggy, and when they were discovered, they were brought before me and Asgore for our judgment. We were both compassionate in those days, so we took great pains to befriend the child, and to teach them morals where their own were lacking.”

Alphys was listening carefully. “W-was Ziggy a boy or a girl?”

“Believe it or not, they never told us! When we asked, they would say only something like, ‘It doesn’t matter now, does it? It’s only monsters and me.’ Ziggy never allowed us to see them naked, and we respected their privacy.”

“Sounds like they were a… a difficult child.”

“Yes. Ziggy was quite troubled. They spoke of how their own parents had neglected them, berated them, treated them cruelly… and we resolved to be the true parents the surface world had failed to provide for our child. As it happened, Asgore and I had finally given life to a child of our own, and we were raising him at the same time—but then, I expect you were aware of that already.”

“A-Asriel,” said Alphys. “Wh-why did it take you so long to have a child of your own? I-if I may ask.”

“Nobody knows,” replied Toriel truthfully. “With our kind, it cannot be predicted. Some believe that destiny governs the birth of boss monsters, withholding them until they are needed. It is quite possible that Asriel did not enter the world until he did simply because Ziggy had not yet arrived, and destiny was waiting.” Although that was a rather sad thought. “At the time, Ziggy’s arrival seemed a true blessing, because it gave our son a playmate and best friend. Moreover, Asgore believed that if we were to raise Ziggy well, someday they could return through the barrier and win over the human race to our cause, thus paving the way to peace between monsters and humans once again. He called them ‘the future of humans and monsters.’”

Alphys smiled bitterly. “And then it all went wrong, didn’t it?”

Toriel closed her eyes and breathed. “Yes. Perhaps the environment of New Home was simply not well suited to a young human, or perhaps it was fate, or perhaps we were simply unlucky. But Ziggy fell gravely ill. We could do nothing to save their life. When they finally died… Asriel was the only one by their side.” She tried not to cry. “If only Asgore or I had been there at the end… but Asriel had asked to take turns watching his sibling, and we could not have imagined what would occur.”

“A-Asriel absorbed Ziggy’s soul, right? And went through the barrier?”

“That is correct. We will never know what possessed him to do it. Most likely it was sheer grief, and the fact that as a child, he did not know how to handle it. All he told us before leaving was that he was going to fulfill Ziggy’s final request… to bury them beneath the golden flowers of their village. He returned later that day, wounded mortally, having walked among humans… and still carrying Ziggy’s body. He died in the palace, and was not able to tell us what had happened. Perhaps he provoked the humans he met, or perhaps the sight of a monster carrying a human corpse was all the provocation they required. They killed our son… and Asgore would never forgive them for what they had done.”

“B-b-but you did?”

“I cannot forgive people I have never met, and whose actions I did not witness. For all I know, my son may have been bawling in grief, as worthy of pity as anything, and they attacked him simply because he was different.”

Alphys was silent. Toriel cast her mind back to remember that most painful of days. She forced herself to remember for the sake of her guest, and for her own long-term sanity.

“You… you never listened to that fourth tape, did you?” said Alphys.

Suddenly Toriel’s blood went cold. She had forgotten the tape. “…No, I did not. You said that it might bring me heartache.”

“That’s funny,” said Alphys. “Y-you trusted me on that, e-even while I wasn’t trusting you. Um… a moment ago, you said… we’ll never know what possessed Asriel to, um, to absorb Ziggy’s soul. B-but.”

Oh stars above. Was Alphys saying she knew? “But?”

“B-but if you could know, would you want to? Or is it… is it the sort of thing you’d rather not, erm, dig up?”

So the doctor had the key to this missing piece of her life’s story. Toriel sat with her eyes closed and took three full, deep breaths to clear her mind. She opened her eyes. She knew the answer.

“Yes, doctor,” she whispered. “Yes, I would like very much to know why my son died.”

Now Alphys looked nervous. She shifted in her seat. “Um—it was… it was… I’m sorry.” Choked up, she took a bite of her pie. Toriel waited patiently.

“It was a plan,” Alphys revealed at last. “It was all Ziggy’s idea. Ziggy committed su…s-suicide, by eating buttercups. They made Asriel pr-promise to absorb their soul when they died… and to go to the surface… and to… to… k-kill six humans… and to…

Toriel listened in shock, mouth open.

“…and to, uh… break the barrier… so that monsters could be free… and th-they could be heroes, I guess.”

What. How! Why? Oh! Oh…

Toriel had to repeat it all to herself in order to understand. Ziggy, her own Ziggy, had… killed themselves? The terrible illness that had wracked the Underground had happened… on  _purpose?!_

It was so much. She shifted down into her pillow and felt tension pass from one part of her body to another. Her breathing sped, then slowed. She sat with her eyes squinched shut, trying to make sense of this revelation, to process how it changed everything that had come after. It was not going to happen quickly. So much had happened, and so much had been influenced by that terrible day.

She felt a scaled hand on her shoulder. Toriel opened her eyes and found Alphys there with quivering knees, barely able to stand on her own, yet comforting Toriel.

“A-are you all right?” asked the sweet little monster.

Toriel looked anew at the room she was in. The ceiling, the walls, the trim, the decorations. All familiar from how she had made it over the centuries. “Yes,” she decided. “Yes, I am all right. I am shocked, that is all. What you have told me…” What did it really mean? What did it really matter, so long after the fact? “…I simply do not know what to make of it.”

Alphys patted Toriel. “I-it’s okay. I’ll help you work through it, if you want to. Y-y-you can share thoughts, and I’ll… I’ll be your sounding board! And, uh… you can bounce them off of me.”

That was a curious phrasing. “Bounce my thoughts off of you?”

“W-well, sure! If you want to. I mean, if you want me to leave you alone, I can… I can do that, too.”

Toriel smiled and reached up to steady Alphys. “I just cannot believe that I raised a suicidal child… but on the other hand, they were trying to liberate the Underground, yes? And Asriel… was it his plan too, or was he simply… willing to do anything Ziggy told him? Oh, how he adored that child.”

“I wish we had the tape, so you could hear it,” said Alphys. “B-but I’m guessing you didn’t bring it with you.”

“I brought nothing with me,” said Toriel. “I did not get up that morning planning to be exiled.”

“A-and I left all my tech stuff behind,” said Alphys. “Except my phone… and I lost my phone. I…” She looked at her pajamaed self. “I feel so naked.”

“Well,” said Toriel tenderly. “If you have chosen to begin anew… is it not right that you should be naked? After all, that is how we all begin life.”

Alphys blushed. “I guess. Um.” She wobbled back to the chair and tried to hoist herself up. Toriel came over to give her a boost.

“Toriel? Can I ask a question?”

“Of course!

Somehow, though, the question seemed to have trouble finding its way from the lizard’s brain to her mouth. “Um… so are… are y-you and Sans… um… a couple?”

Now it was Toriel’s turn to blush. “We are a couple of friends who are rapidly growing close,” she said, choosing not to mention their recent discord.

“But you aren’t… you aren’t in love with each other? You aren’t… sh-sharing a bed, or anything?”

Toriel grinned privately. Did this line of questioning mean that Alphys was fond of Sans, despite his misgivings about her? “No, we are not. We are platonic friends.”

This news seemed to make Alphys a shade happier, as Toriel thought it might. “Oh! Uh—okay. Just… just curious.”

“Of course,” said Toriel. Well, if the unlikely should happen to occur, and Sans and Alphys fall in love, then so much the better. It would be an absolute delight to spend her years with a happy couple. The very notion made her grin.

Toriel picked up her frog sweater in progress and sat down in one of the smaller chairs to continue crocheting. It creaked under her weight, but she felt it could take the punishment of her body for a little while. For now, Alphys needed the easy chair. As she resumed her craft, she set herself to thinking of Ziggy and Asriel, so long ago. Poor Asriel. Had he really gone along with the plan just because Ziggy had told him to? Had he been reluctant? Afraid? It might not make any difference how a long dead child had felt nine centuries ago, but still, to Toriel, here and now, it mattered. She wondered if her son had died believing himself a failure. And she wondered whether Ziggy, inside of Asriel, had been aware of what had taken place on the surface. Had they shared control of Asriel’s body? Had they gotten the idea of buttercups from that time when Asgore had fallen sick from buttercup poisoning? Had that, too, been deliberate?

One question slowly rose above the rest: Had their plan had a chance of working? Could they  _actually_ have freed monsterkind on that day? And… would Toriel have been proud of them if they had?

Well, that was a silly question, she realized. Foolish though they might have been… she was proud of them anyway.

Her first two children had died heroes. Toriel stilled her needles and sat in silence as tears of pride came to her eyes. She had mothered heroes. There was sorrow and there was pain in the story Alphys had completed for her, but the feeling that was settling to Toriel’s foundation was pride. She would forever be proud of her heroic children, who had come so close to breaking the barrier and had given their young lives in the attempt.

And so everything had changed.

“Alphys?” she said, lifting her gaze.

“Y-yes?” answered the reptile in her easy chair.

“Thank you for telling me. About my children.”

“Oh! N-no problem.”

Alphys said nothing more, but Toriel saw her sit up a little straighter in the chair and hold her face a little higher. Alphys was happy to have made Toriel happy.

It was good to dwell in a happy home.

[********++++++++++++++++] 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whipped cream is precious because the only source of milk in the ruins is mice. Fortunately, the mice are cooperative and give all their extra milk to Toriel, since they know she’s the best baker.
> 
> When I played Undertale for the first time, I hesitated a long time over what to name 'my' character. I kept finding myself drawn back to the name Ziggy, but that seemed so silly... yet nothing else appealed to me, so eventually I gave in and chose it. While I was still playing the game, the star whose early 70's alter ego was glam rocker Ziggy Stardust died. If you squint, you can see parallels between Stardust and the story of the Delta Rune angel. So now the original fallen human is Ziggy for me, in this and any other Undertale story I may choose to write.


	25. A Judgment Is Passed

[+]

 **Scene 25: A Judgment is Passed  
**  
or  
  
“sans.”  
  


* * *

  
  
Welp.  Things were going too fast again.  Time to slow them down.  
  
Sans felt for the point five cycle class as he walked.  The familiar pattern tickled his awareness, something like color and something like flavor, but not really quite either.  After a half second, he felt the passage of his favorite half cycle: 201.5.  He didn’t have a reason it was his favorite—he just knew it was, ‘cause he’d told himself once in a note.  As the sequence of 256 repeated, Sans felt the pinprick of 201.5 each time, once per second, until he was flinching slightly each time it came around.  His footsteps grew regular.  Once the pattern was nice and easy, he hitched himself to the half cycle and felt things slow down, just like always.  Technically he was speeding up, but it always felt more natural to think of it as the world slowing down.  He repeated the procedure twice more, until he was hitting on eight times as many cycles as normal.  Now it finally felt comfortable to walk.  
  
Sans moseyed through the catacombs until he reached the wall.  The way through was too small for him, so he had to use another trick, but he was used to that by now.  He’d been getting used to the idea that the Ruins were his new home—that Snowdin was gone and the world was just smaller now, and that was okay.  It felt right.  But now there were three, and three was a crowd, and because of that Sans just couldn’t stop going places, even when there was no point going anywhere anymore.  
  
The rock wasn’t there for every part of every cycle.  It regenerated on every cycle, but it did it by spawning right from the lath points, so if he stood left of a lath and moved just a tiny bit at the end of each cycle, he could get through the rock.  It wasn’t pleasant, but neither was feeling cooped in.  So he concentrated for long enough to get through the wall, and then he was in the snow forest where things were cold again, like he liked them these days.  
  
Thoughts?  Didn’t need ‘em.  He had trees, and snow, and frigidity, and time.  Whenever he heard someone nearby, he took the long route and skirted around.  Sans didn’t want to run into anyone just now except his friend.  That gave him plenty of time to empty his head out along the way.  If there wasn’t enough time?  He could just make more.  
  
The river sounded strange at one eighth speed.  It was like an avalanche in the distance, but with extra texture laced through, as if speeding it up would make it resolve into a familiar song.  Sans had wondered, once, whether the river’s babbling really was a song at some speed, but no matter how much he experimented, he never quite got music from it.  
  
Still. the Wrong Number Song had to come from somewhere, didn’t it?  No one could have invented that melody.  If it wasn’t the river, it had to be the wind, or the rain, or the bursting of magma somewhere else in the Underground.  Someday, he’d find its source.  
  
These were thoughts, sure.  But they were so well worn they barely counted.  For the most part, Sans’ skull was so empty he reached the outlet before he even knew it.  He walked to the bank of the river and spent a few moments shedding the extra cycles that kept catching on his consciousness until he was back to normal.  It was way easier to drop a cycle class than to pick it up.  A lot of things were like that, really.  Socks, for example.  
  
Then it was time to concentrate on how much he wanted to travel on the river.  He’d found that it didn’t work to pretend.  He had to have a real reason for wanting to go somewhere, and for better or worse, current events had given him one.  Sans wasn’t a big fan of concentration, though, so thankfully it wasn’t long before his old friend appeared in the distance.  The raft skipped for a while over the waves before settling into an easy drift that carried it to a halt.  Sure enough, it stopped right in front of Sans, the riverman looming over him.  
  
“Care for a ride?”  
  
“yeah,” said Sans, getting on.  “thanks for stopping by.  i was starting to think i might have to swim.”  
  
The boatman pushed off, not answering.  That was fine.  He didn’t always answer right away.  Sans knew what it was like not wanting to talk.  It didn’t matter anyway, since the funny thing about these trips was that they were always exactly the right length.  
  
“Where will we go today?” asked the riverman.  
  
“the castle.  you heard about the big shindig they’re having up there?”  
  
“Shindig?”  
  
“you know.  celebration of the life of the royal scientist?  girl who bumped herself off the other day?”  
  
The figure straightened as he poled the raft a bit faster, now headed downstream.  “The state funeral.”  
  
“yeah, that’s the one.  so you did hear about it.”  
  
“I’ve carried dozens of monsters there since early this morning.”  
  
“well.  then i guess you must have an opinion of it by now.”  
  
The riverman was silent.  Riverperson, whatever.  If Sans didn’t know the guy was a man, he definitely wouldn’t be able to tell from when he acted like this.  
  
“don’t suppose you knew the deceased?”  
  
“No better than she knew herself.”  
  
Sans was dumbfounded for a moment.  “kind of a high bar to set.  don’t most people know themselves best?”  
  
“Tra la la,” said the riverman.  Snowy banks rolled by.  
  
Well, when the boatman broke out his Tra la la line, it was time to change the subject.  Even if he was harder to know these days, Sans still knew him that well.  “so.  you heard about how the souls got lost, right?”  
  
“The six human children?  Where could they be by now?  Making friends with clouds?”  
  
“yeah, i dunno.  i doubt that.  but when the kid took asgore out, they either took the souls with ‘em or set ‘em free.  must be a bit of a relief, huh?”  
  
The riverman looked ominously at Sans.  “Seven little flies in a spider’s web.  Do you think number one feels any safer than number seven?”  
  
So he was talking in riddles now.  Well, Sans was used to that, and he got the meaning.  Sure, the boatman’s soul wouldn’t be number seven anymore if anyone ever found out he was secretly human, but with Undyne in charge, it still wasn’t like he’d be allowed to live.  “still nervous, huh?”  
  
“In a way, one’s brain is all nerves.”  
  
“well.  i used to be nervous too, i guess.  what i’m feeling these days?  it’s different.  but it’s not any better.”  
  
The cowled head turned from the water to Sans.  “Are you all out of hope?”  
  
Good question.  Was he?  “hope for what?  for happiness?  yeah, i just might be.”  
  
The riverman turned back toward the water.  They were racing along now.  
  
“…for other people’s happiness?” Sans continued.  “i don’t think so.  there’s still hope for that.”  
  
“Does it matter?” asked the riverman.  
  
Well, how was he supposed to take that?  “of course it matters.  if i can’t be happy, at least someone ought to be.”  
  
“Does it make you happy when others are?”  
  
That, Sans had to think about.  For sure, it used to make him happy when Papyrus was.  Really, that had been his greatest joy.  “i guess.  but it’s not the same as being happy myself.”  
  
The riverman was silent a while.  “A bag of flour was made into a cake,” he eventually said.  “But it wasn’t the same as being a cake in the first place.”  
  
Sans shook his head.  “that doesn’t make a ton of sense, geldegarde.”  
  
But the boatman was silent, just as the racing black water was.  They were in Waterfall now.  
  
“how can anything be a cake in the first place?”  
  
There wasn’t any answer.  
  
“no cake starts out a cake.  you’ve got to make it one.  what’s the metaphor here?”  
  
No answer.  
  
Well, what was the difference between now and before, anyway?  Between taking happiness in Papyrus’s antics and… being happy that Toriel was happy?  Or even… or even Alphys?  Was that really so different?  
  
The way he’d cared about his brother… he wasn’t going to have that kind of bond ever again with anyone, he knew.  But that didn’t make caring about him any different from caring about anyone else.  Aside from that Papyrus had been special.  
  
But everyone was special in some way.  
  
“i guess i’m not out of hope, no,” he admitted.  “it’s just… there’s a lot less now to hope for.  that’s all.”  
  
“Never fear.  Maybe you’ll turn into a butterfly!  The water is looking wet today.”  
  
“it’s water, geldegarde.  being wet is what it does.  and i’m not gonna turn into anything.  i’m too old for that.”  With Asgore gone, Sans realized, the riverman was the only person left who knew how old he really was.  
  
“One monster turned into an empress.  Another turned into a splotch at the bottom of a waterfall.  Who knows what you could turn into?”  
  
Yeah, right.  “well, as it happens, i’m on my way to go check on that empress.  see how she’s doing.  but don’t worry.  i won’t spill your secret.”  
  
“That I used to operate an elevator?”  
  
“sure.  let’s go with that.”  
  
There were times Sans regretted introducing the fallen human he’d met to his grandfather.  Sans had been just a kid; he figured if anyone could help his scared new friend find a way to hide himself from Asgore, Grandpa could.  But the process had messed the riverman up… even more than Sans had been.  At least all Grandpa had done to Sans was to educate him.  That was bad enough.  But the riverman was changed from the core up.  Personality-wise, Sans barely recognized him anymore.  
  
Everyone had their own ways of coping, but Sans was better at it than most.  He’d managed to stay more or less the same as he’d always been.  He was just a little heavier with secrets now than he’d used to be.  But technically he was middle aged now, and a little dumpiness was normal in middle age, right?  
  
They’d reached Hotland.  The raft was coming to a speedy halt. Sans could see monsters milling around in crowds, some of them wearing black.  The funeral couldn’t be far off.  
  
“Tra la la.  Glad I could help!  
  
“yeah.  i dunno if you helped, but it was good to talk.  take care, okay?”  
  
“Come again some time!”  
  
“count on it,” said Sans.  True, part of him wanted to just disappear into the Ruins forever, but how could he abandon his oldest friend?  He knew he’d be back next time he had an excuse to ride the river.  
  
The raft moved off, and Sans paused to hook up with his familiar cycle classes again.  Half phase, quarter phase, tenths, thirtieths.  If he wanted to stay unseen in a populated place, he had to slow things down a lot more.  It meant extra work, but it was worth it.  Soon, Sans was doing things in a jiffy—a sixtieth of a second—that would normally take a whole second to get through.  
  
So.  Time to find Undyne.  He checked the castle first, of course.  There were guards there, but not a ton—leave it to a skeleton to evade a skeleton crew.  But Undyne wasn’t there, so Sans followed the crowds.  Which is to say, he went where the nearly immobile clumps of monsters were thickest.  
  
That led him to the Core, which was a place he didn’t like going.  It made him uncomfortable for a few reasons.  Still, he’d come this far—it’d be a shame to give up now.  Monsters were wandering the halls of the Core in pairs and groups, chatting and watching something on TV screens set in the walls.  Looked like Mettaton’s show.  Sans paused to watch for a while, but it was just random contestants doing puzzles he guessed had been designed by Dr. Alphys.  No Undyne there either.  
  
So he watched the guards.  In particular, he watched their eyes.  The little movements that showed where their minds were, which direction their attentions lay.  Even if they weren’t guarding the empress directly, if they knew where she was, they’d reflect that in the way they moved.  And when they were moving this slowly, a guy like Sans could take in all the details.  
  
There it was.  Got it.  Undyne was someplace in the Core, but she was watching from higher up.  Maybe a balcony—more likely a private room.  He climbed the first ladder he could find and wandered on the second level for a while.  Up another ladder.  More wandering.  Finally, he found a couple of guards in an unlikely place, slipped past them, and there she was.  
  
It was probably a conference room when there wasn’t a state funeral going on.  Long table, big TV screen on one wall, giant window at the end of the room looking down on the crowds—Sans was guessing it was made of one way glass.  Mettaton’s show was on the screen.  Some mouse in gray overalls was trying to maneuver a giant robotic diamond through a maze of triangles before it got splintered by crabs.  She kept clicking a remote control that made it turn and slide.  Undyne was way more rapt than Sans would’ve expected her to be.  Since when did she like puzzles?  Or watch Mettaton’s show?  
  
“hey,” he said.  
  
Undyne whipped around like she’d been wound about five times too tight.  She swung magic energy spears humming in every direction.  “WHO’S THERE?”  
  
Sans decoupled himself down to triple time and lifted a hand.  “just me.  what’s up?”  It wasn’t hard to talk at a third his normal speed—he just had to be extra lazy.  
  
The piscine eye flashed and the spear went up.  “Pap’s brother!  What was it… Sans!  What are you doing here?!”  
  
“just paying a visit.  you can put the spear down, by the way.  no one here’s getting hurt today.”  
  
The empress cautiously lowered her weapon.  Half her left ear was missing—probably happened in the battle somehow after he’d had to disappear.  “How did you get past my guards??” she demanded.  Wow.  Double question marks on the heels of question-exclamation.  At this rate, she’d be breaking out the interrobangs soon.  
  
“they were kinda slow, so i slipped past.  how’s the whole supreme ruler thing working out for you?”  
  
She flashed him a toothy look of consternation.  Most people weren’t toothy and consternated at the same time, but Undyne’s expressions were usually pretty tooth-heavy.  “What do you think?”  She gestured to the television.  The contestants’ and host’s podiums were all emblazoned with Alphys’s face, to remind everyone who the event was for.  
  
“i think things must’ve gone pretty sideways, for you to be all buddy-buddy with mettaton.  i thought you didn’t like him.”  
  
“I don’t.  But he can be funny sometimes, and besides, he’s all I’ve got.”  
  
“would’ve thought a bigshot guard like you would have friends.”  
  
As she stared at the screen, the base of her spear pounded resonantly against the floor.  “I used to.  Until recently.”  Those words weren’t easy to get out.  “Now all I’ve got is fans.”  
  
“fans, huh?  sounds like mettaton’s way of doing things.”  
  
She shrugged hard.  “I’m willing to let him run the empire if he wants to.  All I want to do is break out and start wreaking havoc on the surface.”  
  
“really?  that’s all you want to do?  you don’t want to, i don’t know… kick back at a bar somewhere and have a hot dog?”  
  
She glared at him, but there was confusion and longing in her glare—Sans picked up a trace of it on the third-cycle.  “No!” she shouted.  “I want to take humanity to task for who they are!”  
  
“and who’s that?” asked Sans.  
  
“…I don’t have a word for how bad they are.  If I called them something ugly—something like ravaging murderers or soul-eating terrors—I’d just be insulting murderers and terrors.  There’s no way to describe them except by what they are.  More awful than anyone can imagine.”  
  
“wow, undyne.  why don’t you say how you really feel.”  
  
She stood there in misery, staring at the screen.  “I can’t.”  
  
Sans stood there thinking for a minute.  He was kind of impressed by the height of Undyne’s hatred.  It was making it tough for him, though—he wanted to get a read on the empress, but it’s hard to tell the shape of something if there’s a spire sticking up so high you can’t see the end of it.  
  
“is that why you threw out the queen?  so you could get back at humanity?”  
  
She glowered and breathed harder.  “Yeah.  Because she wasn’t going to do it.”  
  
Sans paused.  “she loves humans, huh?”  
  
Undyne grasped her spear so hard it quivered and nearly broke.  “She thinks so, anyway.”  
  
That was interesting.  “you think maybe she didn’t really love her kids?”  
  
Undyne turned her eyes to Sans, full of negativity.  Fear, shame, anger, a good dose of wanting him gone.  “Let’s get one thing straight.  Those kids?  They were never her kids.  They were never going to grow up the way she wanted.  They were going to grow up their own way, no matter what she did with them!  Maybe they made her think they loved her.  That’s just the way they are.  They fool you into letting down your guard.  Honestly, she’s lucky none of them ever stuck around long enough to kill her.”  
  
She didn’t pull punches, Sans had to give her that.  “but even if they didn’t really love her, that doesn’t mean she didn’t love them.”  
  
Undyne’s face twisted as she returned her attention to the monitor.  “I don’t even know what it means to love something like that.”  
  
Welp, this case was looking pretty cut and dried.  But Sans still wanted to know what else was in there besides hatred.  “so tell me, undyne.  say you break through.  say we go to the surface and you field an army against humans, and you win.  you vanquish the world.  wipe them out, one and all.  what then?”  
  
She grunted.  “Then we live in peace.  Use the land for our own purposes!  Till our own crops!  Plant our own dirt!  We get to finally breathe out… and relax.”  
  
Sans processed this.  “fair enough.  but what about you?  what will you do?”  
  
The piscine shoulders slumped.  “I’ll be done, I guess.  I’ll let someone else run things.”  
  
“sure.  and then?”  
  
She looked at him with angry disgust.  “And then what?”  
  
Sans stood his ground.  “what’ll you do then?”  
  
Undyne blinked.  “How should I know?  That’s a world away!  Maybe I’ll take up cross-stitch or something boring like that!”  
  
“nah.  you wouldn’t do something for fun if you thought it was boring.”  
  
She blasted the floor next to Sans with a glowing spear.  “Well, what do you think I should do, then?”  
  
Sans shrugged.  “it’s not up to me.  you really saying you’ve got no idea?”  
  
Undyne shivered and leaned forward.  She clutched her spear, the real one, to her chest.  “Maybe I’ll take a look around.  See what the surface has to offer.”  
  
“any idea what that might be?’  
  
She shut her eyes.  “Long sloping beaches… rocky flats by the water, for running over… deep sunsets and quiet nights… aside from the wind rustling through the tall grass…”  
  
Sans was impressed.  “you been thinking about that a while?”  
  
But Undyne didn’t answer right away.  She only opened her eyes after a minute had passed.  “Hell.  I guess I must have.”  
  
“not bad,” said Sans.  But Undyne stayed in thought a while more, and Sans didn’t interrupt.  
  
“You know what I wouldn’t mind doing, Sans?”  
  
“what’s that?”  
  
Her ears rose to their full, wounded splendor.  “Swimming in the ocean.  Now that’d probably be something.”  
  
It probably would.  But he stayed quiet.  And Undyne was quiet too.  For half a minute, they stood there, imagining someplace far away that probably didn’t exist at all.  
  
A bell chimed thrice.  
  
Undyne’s spear was at the ready, her body glowing with energy, eyes wide and betrayed.  “What the hell!?”  
  
Sans held up a hand.  “it’s nothing.  don’t worry, that happens around me now and then.”  
  
She kept searching for the source of the bells.  Then she jerked in surprise and looked at Sans.  “You… you’re the one who judged me, all those years back.  When I was just starting out as captain!  That was YOU!”  
  
Sans held up his other hand.  “guilty.  guess i just couldn’t help myself, since i came back for more.”  
  
“You just judged me AGAIN!”  
  
He nodded.  “wasn’t hard.  you’re kind of an open book right now.”  
  
“Well, WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT??  An open book is what the monsters need right now!”  
  
“i’m not disagreeing.  something to be said for transparency.  and to your credit…”  
  
He spotted the release of Undyne’s spear on the two-thirds cycle and scrambled for a grip on any class he could get.  Equipped with a messy hodge-podge of cycles, he leapt aside, grinning, then let go of everything but the thirds again.  Luckily, it fell away without getting tangled… this time.  Undyne’s thrown spear clattered on the floor where he’d been.  
  
“… to your credit,” he continued, “you are the person you say you are.  i was worried you might’ve chucked toriel out just so you could have power.  but that wasn’t it at all.”  
  
“No,” spat Undyne.  “That wasn’t it!  I never wanted to be in charge!  I just REALLY DO HATE HUMANS THAT MUCH!!”  Her fists and biceps tensed in angry frustration.  
  
“yeah,” said Sans.  “and it looks like you could use some comfort.  so i’ll give you a reward for being honest.”  He didn’t know if this was the smart thing to do, but his better nature wouldn’t let him walk away without offering.  
  
Undyne stood straight, but her expression sagged.  “What?”  
  
“i’ll tell you something.  you just have to promise not to do anything dumb about it.”  
  
She stared.  “Do you really think I can keep a promise like that?”  
  
“doesn’t matter, so long as you make it and mean it.”  
  
She sighed.  “I promise.  What do you have to tell me?”  
  
“alphys isn’t dead.  i’m not saying she’ll ever come back… she probably won’t.  that waterfall’s pretty deep.  but she’s alive out there, somewhere.”  
  
That expression of amazement… not just at what she’d been told, but at the fact that anything could bring her such unexpected joy… well, it was what Sans lived for.  Maybe the riverman had been right.  Maybe bringing happiness to others really was as good as being happy himself.  
  
“She’s alive?!  She’s really alive?  Have you seen her?!”  
  
“yeah.  i’ve seen her.  she’s in good health.  can’t tell you where, though, so don’t ask.”  
  
Undyne’s face was wild.  “You have to bring her back here!!”  
  
“can’t do that,” he replied, shaking his head.  
  
She stepped forward, falling to one knee.  “Then you have to take me to where she is!”  
  
He shook his head again.  “sorry.  can’t do that either.”  
  
She looked like she wanted to cry, to exult, to punch the world in the gut.  “Alphys…”  
  
“so.  there you go.  you’re welcome.”  
  
He turned to leave, but she cried, “Wait!”  
  
“yeah?”  
  
“…Is she happy?”  
  
That, he had to think about.  She’d seemed pretty overwrought when he’d talked to her.  But at least she was letting all her troubles out.  That was a big deal, he knew.  “you know what?  i think she’s getting there.”  
  
Undyne bent over on her knees and clasped her hands, her chest convulsing.  
  
“by the way, i like the new look.  one and a half ears really suits you.  goes with the whole one eye thing.”  
  
She looked up angrily and hovered an energy spear to her side.  
  
“well,” said Sans.  “be seeing you.”  He stepped out of the room.  
  
Sans took the ladder down again and found a nook to hide in, just in case Undyne followed.  But she didn’t.  So he worked his way back up to thirtieths and got to work edging his way out of the Core.  It was tricky, since the walls there regenerated twice as fast as the ones in the Ruins, but he didn’t want to risk just walking out in case Undyne had notified the guards.  When someone was looking for you, even jiffy-cycles sometimes weren’t enough to stay unseen.  
  
Once outside, he wandered over to the MTT soundstage.  The show was still going on, so he slipped inside and stood unnoticed among the crowd for a while.  He figured while he was here, he might as well watch the festivities in progress.  The competition he’d seen on the screen had just ended; the mouse was the proud winner, grinning on a podium with a gold ribbon clutched in her hands.  From there, Mettaton segued into a poem he’d written about Alphys.  He performed it dramatically while gesturing broadly on a rising platform while being sprayed by illuminated gold fountains.  The flared collar he had on was so huge and dramatic that it sometimes upstaged him.  But Sans paid attention to the words of the poem.  He caught all the fat gobs of irony Mettaton had worked in, and that he figured most monsters would probably miss.  Mettaton wasn’t so much talking about Alphys as he was talking about his own complex feelings about her.  From that alone, Sans could tell he was a real mess inside.  But he wasn’t doing another judgment today, so that was something the robot would have to work out on his own.  
  
The poem ended, the audience cheered, and Sans slipped out again.  He found his way back to Hotland and walked until the crowds were behind him.  It was too soon to bother the riverman again, so he’d take the long way back.  Well, not the really long way Toriel had walked.  Sans really did know a few shortcuts.  
  
Once he reached Snowdin, he loitered a while.  The question he had to decide was: was he willing to be seen here?  If he was, folks might start asking where’d he been the last few days.  But that was no problem—he could just tell them he’d been napping.  It was more or less true.  There were problems with being seen, but probably bigger problems if he just disappeared entirely.  People would ask what happened to the little skeleton.  Did he get dusted along with his brother?  Did he follow the old queen into the Ruins?  Nah, probably better to hang out and keep pretending things were more or less the way they’d always been.  
  
So he dropped all his extra cycles and moseyed over to Grillby’s.  Like the town itself, it was almost empty.  Grillby was there, and Bettina was on the big table next to a half-eaten platter of onion cubes and buffalo antennae.  She looked unhappy until her big ears heard Sans and she whirled around to greet him.  “Sansy!!  You’re here!  I’ve been s-s-so lonely, Sansy—come in and keep me company!”  
  
Sans shrugged and sat down next to the disembodied rabbit head.  “i guess everyone went off to the funeral, huh?”  
  
“Y-y-yeah, nobody wanted to carry me!”  Bettina bounced spitefully.  “I don’t know wh-wh-why—I’m a b-bundle of fun!”  
  
Grillby’s huge radio had been wheeled out, and it was playing a slow dirge of a ballad—some tenor singing about a lost love.  Judging by the occasional crowd noises, it was probably the end of the funeral.  “but at least you got to listen to it, huh?” said Sans, indicating the radio.  
  
“Well, yeaah… but if you can’t see the expressions on the p-p-p-people’s faces, it’s just not the same!”  
  
“you a fan of funerals, betty?”  
  
“You know me, Sansy!  I’m a fan of anything that sh-sh-sh-shakes things up!  I’ve had Grillbz mixing up new cocktails for me all day!”  
  
“`\/\/`’;~ >|.<” contributed Grillby from behind the bar.  
  
“What’s he saying, Sans?  You kn-kn-know I can’t understand him.”  
  
“i think he’s saying it’s easy to mix new drinks, but most of them aren’t any good.”  
  
“Well of COURSE they’re no good!  We don’t have any fresh ingredients here, so it’s the s-same ingredients, day after day!  I have GOT to get to the overworld someday!”  
  
“eh.  probably not all its cracked up to be.”  
  
“Well, NO, but at least it’d be NEW!” countered Bettina, hopping about the surface of the table.  
  
“sure.  i guess there’s that,” said Sans.  He wandered over to the bar.  “hey grillbz.  i’m thinking of selling the house.  it’s too big for just me.  know anyone who might be interested?”  
  
Grillby had to think a bit, for once.  “-=+$[|]=?-.;”  
  
“eh, maybe i’d pay off my tab.  about time i did that, right?  or maybe i’d just leave that tab open and use it to start a new tab.”  
  
“+o-|::.’{}”, said the proprietor.  
  
“well, there’s not a lot else i feel like doing these days.  to be honest, there wasn’t a lot i felt like doing even before it… you know… happened.  now there’s even less.  but hey, i’ll always have grillby’s right?”  
  
“[…]-`;,-\\\|:”  
  
“yeah.  oh and hey, grillby?  if i start not coming around as much… don’t take it personally, ok?  i’m not spending as much time in snowdin these days.”  
  
“.-?-,~}|-,:’  
  
“oh, here and there.  you know how sometimes you just can’t stay put?  you go someplace familiar and you just can’t stay there any longer?”  
  
“:|]|/(*-”  
  
“nah, you’re right.  maybe you wouldn’t know.  you’ve been here basically forever, haven’t you, grillbz?”  
  
“I know how that feels!” interjected Bettina from the big table.  “I get wanderlust all the t-t-time!”  
  
“~~@.@~~\\-/||” said Grillby.  
  
“You aren’t gonna leave us, are you Sans?  The f-f-folks around here are so boring, I don’t know wh-what I’d do without you!”  
  
“eh, you’d get by,” said Sans, strolling back over to give the bunny a pat between the ears.  “you make your own fun.”  
  
“Well, sure I do!  But if you meet any h-h-hot guys wherever you’re going, send ‘em my way!”  
  
“will do,” Sans promised.  Funny how making promises didn’t bother him when he knew he’d never have to make good.  
  
He left the bar and was back in the cold.  It felt good.  Before leaving town, he stopped at his house to pack a sloppy box of random things—he’d bring them to the Ruins one poorly organized boxload at a time.  Then he headed down into the tundra for a stroll beside the cliffs.  He thought about stopping to build a mound of snow and put his name on it, but without Papyrus around to bug, he didn’t see the point.  
  
The cliffs led him to the Ruins wall, and instead of bothering to climb up, he just hooked cycle two-oh-one and a half again and slipped back inside, then took a few minutes to warm up.  A little wandering around the catacombs and he found some stairs.  Sans wasn’t in any hurry to get back to the house, aside from being a little tired of lugging the box.  
  
But he didn’t have anything really pressing to spend his time thinking about, either, so it seemed like almost no time at all before he arrived at the yard with the sweeping wind and dead tree.  Could have stayed back in Snowdin, he reminded himself.  If I come here, it’s because I like it here.  So why I am I afraid to walk though that door?  
  
He didn’t have an answer.  So, shrugging mentally against what might come, he set the box of stuff down outside the door and moseyed inside.  
  
There was a big banner strung up over the staircase in the foyer.  “PLEASE FORGIVE US, SANS!”  The letters were made from cut-out scraps of cloth.  The scientist was on a meditation mat and bent down quickly with a hoot when she saw Sans come in.  Toriel hurried hastily out of the kitchen and knelt down on a matching mat.  Both their heads touched the floor at the same time, just as the sound of sacred chants emanated from somewhere.  What in the hell?  
  
The two ladies raised their heads together.  “We have done you wrong, Sans,” they said in unison.  “Is there any path to forgiveness?”  
  
This was really weird.  Sans stared.  “uh.  you, uh.  you really put some work into this, huh?”  
  
Toriel smiled humbly.  “We are willing to put quite a bit more work into it, if it is necessary.”  
  
“Yeah!” chimed Alphys.  “W-we’ll do penance for you!  Whatever punishment you think is fair.”  
  
“It was our foolishness that cost your brother’s life,” said Toriel, “and we have resolved ourselves to paying the price.”  
  
“I’ll do anything,” said Alphys.  “A-a-anything you say!”  
  
What.  The.  Flip.  Sans’ preliminary shrug hadn’t fortified him against this.  Sure, it was kind of funny and kind of touching, but it angered him, too.  “so you decided we’d have a little penance party?  just to get rid of all that pesky guilt?  where’s that chanting coming from?  someone hidden in the rafters?”  He stepped forward and looked up.  Sure enough, two rows of monsters were perched on the open roof beams over the staircase.  Migospels were doing the chanting, while Moldessas and Parsniks provided the background ambience.  Their intonations and hisses petered out when they saw Sans’ disapproval.  
  
“Alphys and I wanted to surprise you with something,” said Toriel.  “And our desire to make things right between us is genuine.  Is there nothing we can do to help you feel better?”  
  
It’s not about you, Sans wanted to snap.  No penance can bring Papyrus back, so how am I supposed to feel better?  But he stopped himself.  Part of his anguish really was the fact that he had to co-exist with Alphys now, after her childish fangirl approach to a human invader had ruined his life.  “i’ve got no truck with you, toriel.  it’s this lizard i’m mad at.”  
  
Alphys slumped in shame.  Toriel straightened, though she was still on her knees. “I understand, Sans.  But I would like to perform any penance that you give Alphys as well.  I am equally guilty, and I would not like her to feel that she is alone.”  
  
Possible punishments flashed through the skeleton’s mind.  Jog around the house until you’re so queasy you throw up.  Go to the part of the catacombs with the holes and fall through the ground a hundred times.  Ask one of these Parsniks to flog you within an inch of your life.  Foremost among his thoughts, though, was: Leave.  Go back to the world and tell them you’re still around, that you faked your death.   Never come back here.  
  
But he couldn’t say that, could he?  In fact, he couldn’t in good conscience say any of those things, knowing that Toriel was going to do them too.  Aside from the fact that, deep down, he didn’t want to be the cause of someone getting hurt.  He was angry, more angry than he’d realized—blisteringly angry.  But that was a step up, wasn’t it?  He’d hated Alphys.  When you hate someone, you don’t care about their internal struggles; you just want them gone.  Now, the fact he was so indescribably angry at this stammering weeaboo dork… meant he wanted her to change.  And that meant that on some level, he did want her around.  
  
And with that, he felt his eyes going dark.  Oh well.  Might as well roll with it.  “g o   i n t o   s n o w d i n   t o w n   w i t h   a   d i s g u i s e .     v i s i t   t h e   p u b ,   t h e   i n n ,   t h e   l i b r a r y ,   e v e r y w h e r e .    a s k   t h e   m o n s t e r s   w h at   p a p y r u s   w a s   l i k e .    d o n ’ t   s t o p   u n t i l   y o u ’ v e   a s k e d   e v e r y o n e   y o u   c a n   f i n d.     t h e n   c o m e   b a c k   h e r e   a n d   t e l l   m e   w h a t   y o u ’ v e   l e a r n e d .”  
  
They both stared at him in shock.  Were they unsettled by his ‘serious’ voice, or was the punishment not what they were expecting?  
  
“I-I-I’ll do it,” said Alphys.  “I… I’ll need some time to make a good disguise, so they don’t know it’s me.  But I’ll go… I’ll spend a whole day there.  I’ll listen to everyone.”  
  
“And I will go as well,” declared Toriel.  
  
Sans closed his eyes.  
  
Toriel gently touched his shoulder.  “I think this is an excellent idea,” she said.  “Thank you, Sans, for giving us this chance.”  
  
He slumped in place.  “no problem.”  
  
The small monsters flocked out, now chanting and singing again, some of the Migospels giving sermons over each other.  Sans just stood there, barely watching them leave.  He was in pain again, even though he wasn’t the one who was going to have to suffer through a day being stabbed by guilt again and again.  Because if Alphys really did this… he was going to have to forgive her.  Somehow, he really was going to have to find a way.  
  
It had to happen, though.  Because these two weren’t going to be happy until they’d had a chance to make things square.  And he really did want them to be happy, whatever it took.  
  
The riverman had been right, he realized.  There really wasn’t any difference between wanting others to be happy and being happy yourself.  No more than between a cake that had been a bag of flour and one that’d been a cake in the first place.  
  
Something on the air caught his attention.  Speaking of cake, what was in the oven?  “toriel?” he asked, walking into the kitchen.  “you think something might be burning?”  
  
Toriel gasped and hurried into the kitchen.  “Sans, you arrived home at just the wrong time!”

* * *

The cake wound up fine, just a little singed around the bottom corners.  It was decorated like a skeleton wearing sunglasses on his biceps.  “CoolSkeleton95,” said the icing across his blazer.  
  
“This is all I could remember about what he looked like,” said Alphys apologetically.  
  
There were candles burning in his eyes, and another at the tip of his grinning thumbs-up.  “don’t worry about it,” said Sans, as Toriel lovingly cut the first slice.  “it’s perfect.”

[&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&]


	26. The Light Shines In

 

[+]

**Scene 26: The Light Shines In**

_or_

“Once Upon a Time”

 

* * *

 

 

It was, indeed, a long and trying day. But it was good, Toriel reflected, to be tried in this way. It was good to purge guilt from oneself when it was possible, but before that could be accomplished, it was necessary to understand the nature of the misdeed one had performed. And Toriel had not known Papyrus, except through Sans’s stories. She was therefore delighted to know him further through the stories of others. Toriel had failed to consider the danger her children might pose to the outside world, so worried had she been about what the outside world might do to them. But by attempting to raise humans without taking this into account, she had been playing with fire, and she must  _never_ forget that. Fire was a tool and a sacrament; it could be shaped and used and tempered and even loved, but it was not to be  _played_ with. Toriel’s mother had taught her that as a child, and she remembered the lesson well. She had even taught it to Natalia, whose own love for fire had been downright unhealthy.

And she had known how dangerous humans could be. They were strong and willful and fiercely material, and could dissipate the stuff of monsters with a mere few blows. She could still feel the spot in her side where her eighth child had shot her with an imaginary bullet; she had bled copiously nonetheless. Aside from that terrible day, she had taken care not to let her children harm her or the monsters about the Ruins. And yet somehow, the presence of Asgore’s regime had blinded her to the danger that they might inflict on monsters  _outside_ her domain. In a way it was an understandable oversight, but she had overlooked it for nine centuries. Now her error had plunged her kindest and most valued friend into a profound grief. Toriel was guilty, and for that, she was doing penance today.

“HE TALKED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME,” said a red-orange monster with horns. “And he was always grinning, except when he was angry. And sometimes even then!”

“Wh-why would he grin if he was angry?” asked Alphys.

“He couldn’t help it! That’s just how he was made.”

“So then… his smile didn’t mean anything?”

“Oh, no, it made him feel better, whether he wanted to or not! He got angry about little things, but he never stayed that way for long.”

“And he was an optimist,” said the mouse accompanying the first monster, speaking through a thick scarf. “To an absurd degree.”

“What do you mean?” asked Toriel.

“Once I asked him what was going to happen when Snowdin got too crowded. He thought for a while before coming out with, ‘More parties?’ He was adorable. We’re going to miss him a lot, I just know it.”

The two of them were dressed in elaborate costumes they had made in collaboration over the course of two days. Toriel was dressed as a Careplane, one of the larger monsters in the Underground. Her body was covered in metal, and her arms were held raised and flat within the broad, perpendicular, heart-emblazoned wings. It was uncomfortable, but bearable. Alphys had embellished herself into a red wormlike monster, segmented and gooey. Toriel could not help but sense a bit of self-hatred in her costume choice, but did not object, because after all, this was a day of penance. Their voices were disguised with filters they wore over their mouths. Alphys had created them without the benefit of tools or laboratory, which made the results she had obtained especially remarkable. Toriel’s voice, through a modified pair of colanders hidden inside her nosecone, sounded like an official making announcements over a speaker, while Alphys had managed to make her own voice unctuous and manifold with nothing more than a few straws and the lid of a pepper shaker. Her genius really was as amazing to watch in action as Toriel had hoped.

“He always found the Junior Jumble oddly challenging,” said the puzzle designer for the Snowdin Bugle. “More than once, he stormed in insisting that the Jumble that day had no solution. But of course, it always did, and he was always equally amazed when we showed it to him.”

“He sounds almost like a child,” Toriel ventured.

“He acted like a child,” agreed the editor. “With all the exuberance, dreams and wonder you would expect to accompany it.”

“B-but he was powerful, right?” asked Alphys, twisting her annelid body.

“He had a lot of will. To be sure, his magic was strong!”

“Then… w-was he dangerous?”

“Oh, dear, no. For all his bluster, he was the gentlest soul you could hope for. He may have made a mess or two, but could never have caused any real harm.”

They were posing as interviewers from  _The Lodestar_ , Hotland’s premier newspaper, doing a monster interest piece on the recent passage of the regicidal human through the underground. No one questioned their story, and nearly everyone they spoke to had something to say about the intrepid sentry who had until recently added vibrancy to their snowy homeland.

“He was good about taking off the junk those teens put on my antlers,” said a grumpy old stag. “After I explained how annoying it was, that is. Before that, he was right there with them, loading me up with tchotchke after tchotchke—but that was when for some gobforsaken reason he thought I found it fun.”

* * *

“He wasn’t chill at ALL,” said a scaled monster with snowlike plumage and sunglasses. “He was a total poser. The complete OPPOSITE of chill. Like, he always cared SO MUCH and tried SO HARD!”

“A… and being chill means you don’t care or try at all?” asked Alphys.

“Ba-ringo. It was embarrassing just looking at him. Heck, it’s embarrassing even THINKING about him!

* * *

“Ah! The sound of the free press in action! Maybe if I wait, I’ll hear it again!”

Toriel knocked on the door a second time. “Does that mean you would like to grant us an interview?”

“Being asked for an interview! How lovely! How flattering! It makes me feel almost important.”

“…I do not understand. Is that a yes?”

“And now I’m being asked for clarification! Ahhh, it’s good to know the press is in such competent hands.”

A passing slime mold interrupted, clearing his throat. “You won’t get anything out of him. But if you’re asking about the tall skeleton, I can tell you he was a veritable fount of youthful energy!”

“Oh! Did you know him well?” asked Alphys.

“Not at all! But just watching him from a distance made me feel young again.”

* * *

“Huh? Did he ditch us? Some sentry,” said Jerry. Toriel had no idea who any of the other monsters in Snowdin were, but everyone knows Jerry.

“Were you unaware?” said Toriel. “He was slain not long ago by a human that he attempted to capture.”

“DUH! Who doesn’t know that? Man, he SUCKED at his job.”

“W-well, humans are very dangerous,” contributed Alphys.

“So is a town without any decent donuts. But does ANYONE care about that? I don’t think so!”

“Thanks for your time,” said Alphys.

* * *

“He was a big part of how things got done around here!” said a pudgy bear in a jacket. “We don’t have a mayor, and that means folks have to step up!”

“Did he ‘step up’ a lot?” asked Toriel.

“He might’ve been our best stepper! You know, people talk about maturity and competence, but in trying times, what you really need is _initiative!_ Someone who wants to make a difference actually living the talk and _making_ one!”

“Y-you know what?” said Alphys. “I agree! What are _you_ doing for the town?”

The bear looked at himself. “Me? I just tell people about how the work gets done!”

Toriel tilted her wings in a way she hoped conveyed confusion. “You are not willing to step up yourself?”

“Nah, that’s for folks like Papyrus. I’m not as interested in helping people as I am in _thinking_ about helping people.”

“But… but that’s cowardly!” objected Alphys.

“Cowardly? Nah. Thaaaaat’s politics!”

* * *

They passed through the purple forest doors chatting and laughing with each other. Toriel carefully locked the door behind them and slid down, letting her wingtips rest on the corridor floor. “Ahh. Safe at last!”

Alphys too slumped, her realistic costume exuding slime where she slid. “That was so stressful!”

“But it was no more than we deserved, and now it is over,” Toriel replied. She rested a moment before struggling to remove her costume.

“Oh! Right! We get to take these off!” Alphys forced herself up to help Toriel with her wings.

“Finally!” she said, stretching her arms.

“Finally!” exulted Alphys, popping off her tapered head.

The two of them broke into spontaneous laughter as they looked at each other. Then they helped to remove one another’s costumes until they were left in their pajamas. Then they laughed again.

“Oh, god, do you think Sans will like me now?” said Alphys.

Toriel felt for her. “I do not know if he is ready to like you. You must realize that will be hard for him. But surely, now that we have done his penance, he will be ready to forgive you.”

They approached the stairs, dragging their costumes along behind. Suddenly all laughter was gone, as well it should be. The penitents must not return home merrily. They must return in somber silence, reflecting on the weight of what they had allowed to happen. A childlike, vivacious soul, cut cruelly from his place in the world, leaving an emptiness. That was what their carelessness had wrought. That was the weight they must bear, until they were both absolved and able to cry it away.

“What a p-piece of work I am,” said Alphys. “All that joy lost in an instant, and I just… shrugged and ignored it. ‘Humans will be humans,’ I said. And I went on with my plan. I’m s-s-so self-absorbed!”

And still she was speaking about herself. “It is good that you have been awakened to that fact,” Toriel told her. “You will be better able to confront your fault now that you are aware of it.”

Alphys swallowed as they climbed the stairs. “I guess. But how can I focus on not being self-absorbed without… being  _more_ self-absorbed?”

“We will face that question in good time. For now, it is time for us to face our confessor.” They reached the top of the stairs, but Sans was nowhere to be seen. Toriel peeked into the living room. He was not there. She knocked on the door to his bedroom.

“mmp? hol’on. yeah. hi. sorry, you caught me sleeping. just a minute.” Not ten seconds later, Sans opened the door, looking somewhat bleary but not much different than usual. “whoops. i even forgot to say ‘who’s there?’ guess that’s what i get for taking a before-dinner nap.”

Alphys spoke from behind Toriel. “Well… we’re back! And we, uh… we did what you said.”

“yeah?” The skeleton stood staring for a little too long. “guess we should talk about it, then. but first, let’s see if dinner’s ready.”

Toriel suddenly realized that there had been a nice smell coming from the kitchen. “Did you put something in the oven, Sans?”

He strolled out past them. “yeah, just a beetloaf.”

“A… a beetloaf?” asked Alphys.

“i had a few beets lying around the house. pappy never wanted to cook with ‘em, but i figured you guys might appreciate them.”

Toriel had been expecting to have to make dinner, so this was a welcome surprise. “I will be happy to eat anything you wish to share with us, Sans. But how did you happen to have beets lying around the house?”

“they grow at the salt marsh at the edge of waterfall, in the south, where i like to wander sometimes. when i run across ‘em, i can’t help but pick ‘em.”

“But… but why, if your brother doesn’t like them?” asked Alphys.

He turned and winked. “when you’re in comedy, you don’t miss a beet.” A rimshot rang through the small house.

* * *

He had, as it turned out, made a salad, too. The beetloaf had turned out very well—a striking, juicy red with a soft texture. They brought it to the dining table and enjoyed it, at Sans’s insistence, with ketchup. The salad was crisp and complemented it well.

“This is excellent, Sans!” Toriel complimented. “You have been holding out on us.”

“nah. i’ve just been lazy. figured you deserved it, what with the day you were gonna have.”

“It’s really good,” Alphys echoed, greens sticking out of her mouth. “I don’t get as many vegetables as I should.”

“well, you know what they say about vegetables,” said Sans.

“I do not—what do you mean?” said Toriel.

He shrugged. “they’re nature’s candies.”

“Really?”

He paused to absorb a bite. “well, okay. fruits are nature’s candies. vegetables are more like nature’s fruits.”

“That makes a little more sense,” agreed Alphys, sipping from her yellow teacup.

Toriel’s eyes crossed. “Does it?”

“To me it does!”

“and candies are nature’s canned goods,” Sans continued.

“Now you are just being silly,” Toriel scolded.

“whoops. sorry, tori. i’ll behave.”

She sighed and exchanged a glance with Alphys. “So.”

“so,” said Sans.

“You are probably eager to hear about our trip to your hometown.”

“dunno if eager’s the word. but yeah, i’d like to know what you’ve learned.”

So they began, hesitantly at first, to describe what the townsfolk had told them about Papyrus in response to their questions. Sometimes the two of them took turns; sometimes they spoke over each other, though Toriel tried to keep her interruptions minimal. Dinner ended, but their exposition was far from over. They wandered into the foyer, filling in parts for each other, piping up again and again with quotes they’d forgotten. They barely needed the notes they had taken in their guise as newspaper reporters. Sans barely said anything, so exuberant and open were the two women. Perhaps too exuberant for the somber subject at hand, but they could hardly be blamed if they were excited to have learned, could they?

“…that he sometimes even thought the checkered tablecloths were puzzles,” Alphys reported, “and he moved the salt and pepper shakers as if they were checkers on a checkerboard, and it got him consternated, but no one wanted to tell him it wasn’t a puzzle because sometimes he _solved_ it, and he sat up in triumph with such a big grin that everyone couldn’t help but congratulate him!” Toriel noticed that her companion was not stuttering in her account.

“yep, that sounds like him, all right,” said Sans.

“And, uh, that’s about it!”

“that’s it, huh? well, that was a lot. so what’d you learn?”

Alphys had to think a while. Toriel put a hand on her shoulder; this drew the lizard’s attention before she looked back to Sans. “I guess the real takeaway is that Papyrus was an amazing guy…  _despite_ the fact that he didn’t seem like it at first. On the cameras, I mean, when I… when I saw him there. In actuality, though, he was… he was really valuable, but I didn’t realize it, and I… just let the human go meet him on the road, and…” She swallowed.

“i let him go out there too,” Sans reminded her quietly.

“R-r-right. And when… when I s-saw it h-h-happen… I, um…” She seemed to be having trouble, so Toriel patted her shoulder. “…when I saw it, I…. I didn’t do anything about it! I just… I didn’t let it bother me. I just went on fantasizing about the human, as if… as if that one life was nothing, just a mistake, just… just a blip!” She trembled and bit her tongue. “I was… really, _really_ wrong to do that. I—” And now the reptile’s confidence broke down. She hung her head and sobbed. Toriel kept her hand planted firmly on her back, kneading gently to let her friend know that she cared. Sans watched, angling his head but doing nothing else. 

“That was a _huge_ mistake,” cried Alphys, raising her head through her tears. “H-h-huge! I… I was so obsessed with my own dream… absorbed in my own f-fantasies, really… that I…” She wept again. “I forgot what a life is worth. What a _person_ is worth.” She hunched tightly for a moment. “I guess… I guess I was so used to thinking of myself as… as _garbage_ that I…” She fell silent again, letting her eyes close.

“…say it,” ordered Sans.

She took a deep breath. “…that I forgot that life is actually  _worth_ something. It’s worth a lot, isn’t it? It’s worth… it’s worth the most, of anything! And I… I forgot.” She sniffled and choked on her tears, coughing violently. Toriel squeezed her shoulder firmly for reassurance.

At last, Alphys cleared her throat. “I’m…” She looked to Toriel if for approval. “I’m  _not_ garbage, am I? I’m… I’m not. I mean… I made a really huge mistake, and that means I… I have a really deep flaw, maybe more than one, maybe… maybe a lot of them. But… I’m worth something too, aren’t I?” It was such a hopeful tone, so full of discovery. “I may have gigantic flaws, but…. there’s… there good too, right, and the good is m-m-m-maybe sometimes… stronger than the bad?” Toriel tightened her lips, longing to speak, but knowing she must not interrupt this moment. “It’s true, isn’t it? I’m not worthless. I’m not a pile of walking trash. No… no more than Papyrus was… expendable.” She swung around to face Sans, suddenly desperate. “Is it true? Sans… Toriel… is it true?”

“it’s true, kid,” said Sans.

“Alphys. Of _course_ it is true.” Toriel stooped and lifted Alphys in the midst of her epiphany so that she could hug her tightly. “What have I been telling you? _What_ have I been telling you?” She placed one finger on the lizard’s snout. “ _Know_ that you are valued. _Know_ that you are loved.”

Alphys peered up, her face at the level of Toriel’s breast. “I guess I just thought you were m-m-making a mistake. Do you… do you really mean it?”

“Of course I do, dear one. Of course.” Toriel caught herself swaying back and forth with Alphys as if comforting a baby. That, she thought, was a bit much, so she set the scientist down and took a seat herself, so as not to tower over her.

Alphys stared at Toriel in amazement. Then she turned to Sans as if for her judgment.

He paused a moment. “gotta say, i didn’t think you would get so much outta that assignment. i’m glad i had you do it. i’m even glad you put up that ridiculous banner and got those monsters to come and chant. it looks like it worked out for the best.”

“Does that mean, Sans,” Toriel ventured, “that we are forgiven for what we did?”

He didn’t say anything for a while. Neither Toriel nor Alphys dared to interrupt, but the silence lasted a long time. A minute, most likely. Finally, Sans gave his head a tiny shake and reoriented himself. “sorry. i was just…” He bowed his head slightly. “…you guys have done your jobs, and now i’ve got to do mine. but it’s not coming easy.”

“…Y-your job?”

He planted his hands firmly in his pockets. “i’ve gotta forgive you. i didn’t want to. but that’s not fair of me. i’m the one who’s suffering, sure, and in a way, you two helped cause it. but when i’m honest with myself, it’s not your fault i’m suffering as much as i am. it’s mine.”

Though Toriel did not quite understand the nature of Sans’s strife, she knew that he, too, needed comforting. But he could not be picked up and hugged. “Will you share with us what you mean?”

His breathing became audible, a rare occurrence. “not everyone’s as close with their brother as i was. and that’s the way i chose to make it. i don’t want to get into the details, but… i kinda put all my emotional eggs in one basket.”

Toriel did not know what to say to that, but fortunately, Alphys did. “Sans? Did you have any parents? You must have, right, because you had a grandfather?”

“well, we had a mom,” he replied. “she was a good person. wish i’d gotten to know her better.”

Alphys stared. “What happened to her?”

“earthquake. she was on the geologic response team. dangerous work, but if you’re a certain kind of person, it’s the kind of job you can’t just let somebody else do. mom was that kind of person.”

Toriel took this in. She wondered if it meant he had a hole in his soul where a mother’s love once was… and whether he saw her as a way to fill it.

“Oh!” said Alphys. “I really admire the geologic team. Fighting the natural flow of the planet… putting their lives on the line… I wish I could be h-half that brave. You must have been so proud of her.”

“i was. i had the coolest mom on the planet, and i made sure the other kids knew it. believe it or not, i wasn’t really popular when i was young.”

“H-how come?”

“well. let’s just say i was kind of full of myself. i was top of the class, good at bone magic… then mom got crushed in a vertical rupture event, and… i didn’t know how to take it. i didn’t understand. pap was great—giving comfort, looking on the bright side… but the other kids sensed weakness, and they pounced. i went from the showoff that everyone puts up with to the miserable kid that everyone picks on. pap and i had to go and live with gaster, or grandpa semi, as he was known back then. it wasn’t long before gramps pulled me out of school entirely. i just wasn’t cutting it there anymore, and besides, he had things to teach me.”

“Wow,” said Alphys. “I didn’t know Gaster raised you.”

“well, i was already half raised by then. he raised me the rest of the way. i helped him with his labwork. pap tried to help too, but he just didn’t take to it like i did, so gramps let him stay in school. i didn’t meet a lot of people back then. but i learned a lot. a hell of a lot.”

Alphys set her hands on Sans’s shoulder. She did not strike Toriel as the type to touch someone without a reason; as such, her fondness for the skeleton was made all the more clear. “Gaster really was a good teacher, wasn’t he? He was a little h-hard to understand sometimes, but that just made me want to try harder. He had the most amazing mind…”

Sans looked at the floor. “yeah. and he had principles. go against one, and he educates you. hard. go against it again, knowingly… and you’re out of his life forever.”

Toriel inhaled sharply. “Is that what happened to you, Sans?”

“…yeah. i did something he couldn’t forgive. and he sent me packing. i was pretty much grown up by then, but still. it hurt hard. about as hard as when mom died.”

“I’m—I’m—I’m sorry,” Alphys blurted.

“but papyrus. he was always there to comfort me. losing mom, leaving school… the tough times i went through with gaster, and then the big falling out. then later on, when we heard gaster’d destroyed himself in an experiment. whenever i needed comfort, my younger brother was always there to give it to me. and his bright, unstoppable cheerfulness? it was exactly what i needed.”

_It must be what you need now,_ Toriel did not say. She sat down on the floor and did her best to cross her legs. She had not kept herself as supple as she would have liked.

“So you really came to depend on him,” Alphys gathered.

“not just that. he depended on me. he heard they needed sentries to capture humans, so he became one, and i did too. that way, he got to chastise me whenever i didn’t put my full backbone into it, and i got to be around him at work. eventually it got to the point where i didn’t really care much about anything but keeping him safe. except for keeping him happy, i guess. if it wasn’t for that, i never would have let that human get near him. but he knew he had to catch a human if he ever wanted to get into the royal guard, and i didn’t want to take that chance away. never thought another human would come down in my lifetime, and this one was just a kid. seemed like a nice kid, too. i knew he’d never get a better chance.” Sans put his face in his hands. “so i let them play.”

Toriel reached out to hold Sans, while Alphys cuddled him on the other side. They looked at each other. All of his emotional eggs in one basket, indeed.

“hey alphys.” Sans suddenly faced her head-on. “you didn’t have anything to do with the experiment that took out gaster, did you?”

The lizard was caught in the crossbeams. “Um… w-well, I was there, I mean, I was one of his assistants… it was me and Llewyn…”

“i know llewyn. so what happened? i never got the details.”

From Alphys’s anxious look, Toriel got the impression that there were secrets involved here she was not meant to hear. But she would stay—this was important to both her housemates, and they had not asked her to leave.

“It was the machine,” said Alphys. “He was trying to t-test a theory of time he’d developed. The idea was that… light is the medium that carries time.” Another nervous glance at Toriel. “It started out with his observation that light is n-nearly, but not quite instantaneous, and he speculated that one quantum of light—a photon—might be equivalent to the smallest possible amount of time. This was, um, backed up by my, uh, my human storybooks, which keep referring to spaceships that travel ‘faster than light.’ As if that’s a really significant thing. But the stories aren’t true, which means even human scientists haven’t figured out any way to go faster than light. Light seems to be the limit. But Gaster theorized that maybe… the amount of light present in any given environment determines how fast time moves there. The more light, the faster it moves, which explains why time seems to pass so quickly in bright, cheery places like upper Hotland, while in dark, glum places like central Waterfall it drags on and on… just because of a relatively small light differential. Is this making sense so far?”

“yup,” said Sans. “he used to talk about this same theory to me. it was only half baked back then, though.”

“Oh. Well, did he mention the part that relates to sleep?”

“don’t think so.”

“Gaster thought that maybe the reason we sleep best in the dark is because we need to slow down in order to get the full benefits of sleep. Our heartrate has to slow down, or we can’t fall asleep in the first place. When you sleep, you l-lose track of time, and when you wake up, you usually don’t know what time it is. That’s because there isn’t much light to keep time moving. But even when we sleep in a dark place with our eyes closed, a small amount of light still gets in through the cracks of the room and through our eyelids. That’s why we dream! But there’s so little light that time passes very slowly for us when we sleep… which is why you can have a dream that seems to go on forever, with scene after scene… but then you wake up, and it turns out it’s only been an hour and a half. Aheh.”

“Alphys, that is fascinating!” Toriel interjected.

“Yeah! I thought so too. So… Gaster wanted to try getting rid of _all_ the light in a sealed room, just to see if he could… _escape_ time. If light is what carries time, what happens when there’s no time at all?”

“That sounds extraordinarily dangerous.”

“Yep,” she said quietly, nodding. “It was.”

“And yet you went along with it?”

The scientist’s voice went soft. “…What you have to understand about Gaster is… he didn’t think much about danger. If he had the chance to learn something that no one had ever learned before… he took it. He… he c-cared a little about his assistants’ safety, but I really don’t think he gave any weight to his own at all.” She looked uncertainly to Sans.

“i guess he must have changed. when i knew him, he wasn’t reckless. driven, sure. but he made sure he stayed alive to care for his grandkids.”

“But then you moved out,” Alphys pointed out. “And I guess he was able to… let go.”

Sans considered. “so what went wrong?”

“Well, h-he built a chamber of darkness, and evacuated all the photons from it. As training, me and Llewyn had to practice operating sensors and controls in the dark. We made them work by sound and feel. The photons all got sent away, bit by bit, until they were all gone… and there we were, in a darkness so _cutting_ it was scary, and I honestly can’t remember how long we were there. It felt like…” She shivered. “Well, like a lifetime, but it was gone so fast…”

“so what was the next step?” asked Sans. “there had to be a next step.”

“He’d directed us in building a machine,” Alphys continued, “meant to bombard an object with something he’d discovered called _dark light._ B-basically, it’s a form of radiation with all the same properties of light… except you can’t see it. Aheh. The machine was d-designed so you could open an aperture and adjust how much dark light came out, at what frequencies… the plan was to test it on a random object. A c-croissant we had lying around the lab…”

“dark light, huh? made of dark photons, i guess?”

“Yeah. And it… well, when we bombarded the croissant, nothing, um, nothing happened. Or so it seemed. We didn’t sense anything, but then again, with no light, we couldn’t be sure if the croissant was still there unless we felt it. So, Dr. Gaster reached out to feel the croissant. And, um… the dark light must have still been lingering on it somehow, because it suffused him… and he… um…”

“he didn’t make it.”

“He made it almost too well! Suddenly, we could hear him from multiple directions, saying more than one different thing! It was like we were being b-b-bombarded by particles of Gaster! We tried to talk to him and do what he said, but it was just too confusing, and too scary, and we had to get out of there. Llewyn was… he was terrified. He gave up science completely! I tried to save him… I adjusted the machine and tried bombarding the croissant with normal light to undo whatever had happened… but after I left the dark chamber the first time, Gaster was gone. I never heard his voice again… except in dreams.”

“do you dream about him a lot?” asked Sans.

Alphys shivered. “I wish I didn’t.”

“you know what happened to the machine?”

“Well, it belonged to Gaster, so it was dispensed according to his will. I don’t know who wound up with it. I didn’t go to the reading of the will. I was shaken up enough from his funeral and I wasn’t in… in a good place.”

“he left it to me,” said Sans. “i’ve still got it.”

Alphys seemed to struggle with that news. “Oh.”

“never knew what it did. i should bring it here. we could work on it together.”

She shivered again. Toriel shuffled over on her knees and hugged her. “Sans, can you not see that you are disturbing her? I expect she never wants to see that machine again.”

“sorry, al. i just thought maybe we could… you know, look for him. see if he’s still out there.”

Alphys hugged Toriel tightly. “I d-don’t know if I’m strong enough for that. Maybe I could… work my way up to it?”

“sure. we’ll talk. you don’t mind if i just bring the machine back, do you? i won’t do anything with it without checking in.”

“W-well, I guess having it here couldn’t hurt. I’m going to have my own place, anyway.”

Toriel released her. “Does this mean that Mr. Gaster is not deceased? Are you suggesting that he still exists, somehow, in a way that we do not understand?”

“there’s more out there than we know,” said Sans.

“Y-y-yeah,” agreed Alphys. “It can be overwhelming sometimes.”

Toriel reflected on the strange creature she had vanquished that had been tormenting the narrow-eyed child. A flower with a face… she had never heard of such a thing, yet it existed. If she had only let it finish the job, would there now be more happiness in the world? “Speaking of the overwhelming… I think we are all tired from our day. May I take it, Sans, that you are still not prepared to forgive us?”

“i forgive you, toriel. i already did, really. you didn’t know what that kid really was.” He turned to Alphys. “it’s the fact that you saw them kill my brother and _still_ decided to idolize them… that’s the part i can’t wrap my head around. i know you know it was wrong. i know you regret it, and i don’t think you’d do it again. still. i could say those three words, but i don’t think i could mean them. and i don’t want to say i forgive you if i don’t mean it.”

Alphys sniffled. “It’s okay. I don’t think I deserve forgiveness either. I’m just h-hoping we can be friends, somehow, anyway.”

“hey. alphys. you _do_ deserve forgiveness. today you earned it. it’s just… i’m not strong enough to give it to you.”

“Oh. I—I see. Well… I understand. I should probably get to bed. Talking about Gaster… isn’t the easiest thing.”

“it sure isn’t. see you in the morning, kid.”

Alphys paused on her way to bed. “D-did you call me kid? You know I’m twenty-seven years old, right? You can’t be much older than that.”

Sans shrugged. “eh. it’s a compliment. you’re a kid at heart.”

“Oh. Sure. …I—I guess. Good night.”

“Good night, Alphys,” said Toriel. “May you have sweet dreams.”

Alphys flashed a smile back before walking off. They soon heard the click of the door at the end of the hall. So that Toriel could reclaim her bedroom, they had given Alphys the room that had once been Asgore’s. It now had a bed in it, but nothing more—after all, she would soon be moving out.

Toriel walked back into the living room and sat down in her chair. “Well,” she said.

Sans went to the bookshelf and leaned against it, casually scanning the titles. “so. you been enjoying those new books i brought you? are you tearing through ‘em, or taking them slow?”

The change in subject made her wonder whether he was avoiding something. “I am taking them slowly, Sans. I have learned to savor my entertainment. But do you have nothing to say on the conversation that has just transpired?”

He shrugged. “i said i didn’t want to get into details. so much for that, huh?”

Toriel frowned. “You still have not said what drove your grandfather to disown you.”

“huh? no, i guess i haven’t.” He stood staring at the books.

“Is it another difficult memory?”

He was silent. She remembered him telling her that she could always ask him anything she wanted… so long as she didn’t expect an answer.

“I am sorry, Sans. But it seems to me that it may serve us all better if you can… swallow your anger and tell Alphys that you forgive her for what she did. Even if it is not how you truly feel.”

The way he looked at her was a bit unnerving. He seemed genuinely surprised. “you mean lie to alphys? i thought you were some kind of ‘pillar of integrity’ or something.”

Oh, really. “I do try to be truthful most of the time, yes. But there are some principles more important than unflinching honesty, Sans. One of them is that it is  _wrong to hurt people._ You have admitted that Alphys has earned forgiveness. Is it really right to keep her in limbo, believing herself unforgivable?”

“i can’t do it, tori. it’d be a slap in my brother’s face.”

“Your brother… Sans, if your brother was anything like what the monsters of Snowdin say he was, he would _agree_ with me! Alphys is struggling to like herself, and if the three of us are to live together in the Ruins, we will _need_ each other. Would Papyrus not want you and her to make peace?”

It was like she had slapped him, the way he winced. Had she gone too far? She stood up to approach him, but he looked her straight in the eyes.

“what can i say, tori? he probably would. doesn’t mean i can do it.”

Well, this was a fine kettle. Her hopes of spending a happy age with a happy couple were on the brink of the drain. “Sans, are you unaware that she is fond of you!?”

He looked bewildered. “fond of me? what do you mean?”

Toriel clenched her fists. “She is enamored with you, Sans, or at least so I gather. She wants to like you, but you have erected a wall between her and yourself! Is Alphys truly such a terrible person? Can you not give her a chance?”

Sans stood there and scratched his head. “you mean she’s sweet on me? sorry, tori, i honestly hadn’t noticed.”

She sighed. “When you left so abruptly the other day, Alphys came out of bed to speak with me. We discussed the distant past, and she revealed things I had not known about my own children—the contents of the videotape we did not play. At one point, she asked whether you and I were a couple. Whether we share a bed.”

This did seem to stun Sans somewhat. “you think she was checking to see if i was spoken for?”

“Her question was out of the blue. I can think of no other reason. She finds you attractive, Sans, and no doubt intelligent, and the fact you share a connection through your grandfather only strengthens the bond you could share.”

“huh. you really think me and her could be… a thing?”

“I would not doubt it! And if I may be honest, it would make me so happy. These desolate old catacombs could use a little love! But before anything can bloom between you… you must first _forgive_ her!”

Toriel realized her hands were still clenched. She was embarrassed to be meddling so hard in another’s love life… but it was not just romance they were discussing. It was the question of whether there would be harmony in their small community.

Sans took a deep, silent breath and looked far away, apparently lost. His head sagged. But then, after a long moment, he lifted it. “tori. do you remember how your conversation led up to alphys asking that question?”

She thought back dutifully. The truth about Ziggy and Asriel… leaving the tapes behind… “It was a non-sequitor. She said that she felt naked without her technology, and I told her… that if she is to begin her life anew here, perhaps it is right for her to feel naked. And then she asked.”

Sans’s eyes grew dark and deep. Then he chuckled. After a pause, he chuckled further, aggravating Toriel. “What is it?” she asked.

“let me get this straight, tori. you’d just had a deep, connecting moment with alphys. you know she admires you like nobody’s business. then you talked about her being naked, and suddenly, out of nowhere, she asks if you and me are a couple. and your conclusion is… she wants to be with _me?_ ”

His tone of voice suggested that she was being an utter fool, but for the life of her Toriel could not see what she was missing. “If you are implying something, Sans, kindly come out with it!”

His smile was comforting, broad. “tori. she doesn’t care about me. she wants  _you._ she wanted to know if  _you_ were unattached.”

Toriel felt her mouth fall open. What? The idea was so strange that she had not even considered it; her head swam. “Are you serious?”

“come to think of it, it all adds up. she didn’t seem too down about having to go and spend the day doing penance in snowdin… probably because it meant time spent with you. tori, she gave up a spot beside the throne, not to mention everything else in her life… all to speak up for you during your speech. and then, driven to the brink of suicide, what was the one thing she could think of that seemed better than jumping off a cliff?”

Toriel felt her throat tightening. “Coming here… to be with me.”

“exactly. i’m actually surprised i didn’t see it before, tori. she’s head over heels for you.”

Could it actually be true? Was Alphys really so foolish as that? “But Sans, I am just a silly old lady! And I am not glamorous. If anything, I am plain! How could she possibly be attracted to me?”

Again, the chuckling. Sans shook his head slowly. “oh, toriel. you have  _no_ idea.”

She exhaled softly. “No, I suppose I do not. Will you please explain?”

He smirked. “nah, i don’t think so. you’re cuter this way.”

This was beginning to irritate Toriel. “Sans, I am well over a hundred times her age!”

“so you’ve got a few years on her. doesn’t mean love can’t sprout. didn’t mettaton say she’s got a crush on the unknowable?”

Her lips tightened. Her chest was growing warm. “Are you saying that I am unknowable, Sans?”

“i’m just saying you’re not as simple as you think, tori. you’ve got depths. i can see why a girl like alphys might want to dive in.”

Dive in? Now he was making her sound like a swimming pool. “This is so incredibly awkward. If you are right, Sans… and I am not saying you are… then it will be very difficult letting her down.”

He grinned. “you don’t have to.”

“Are you saying I should not address the issue?”

His grin grew. “i’m saying maybe you shouldn’t let her down. if it’s difficult, why do it? i wouldn’t.”

Was he really implying…? “Sans… I am mourning my husband, my lifemate for millennia! I cannot very well date a diminutive twenty-seven-year-old reptile who reads comic books!”

He spread his arms. “nothing’s stopping you, tori. you  _can_ date her. only question is, do you  _want_ to?”

This was ridiculous. It was embarrassing even to contemplate. “She is a woman, Sans. I am not interested in other women that way.”

“no? are you sure? when’s the last time you dated one?”

The answer was never. Reluctantly, she supposed he did have a point. There was a beauty to the feminine spirit—and to the feminine form—that Toriel admired, much as any aesthete would. It was conceivable that, had it not been her destiny to bear a child, she might have married a woman. But were not males and females meant to complement one another?

Then again, it was not as if there was only one kind of complementary relation. Individuals had a wide variety of traits, and sex was only one among many. She and Alphys certainly differed… and there were certainly ways in which they complemented each other…

“whatcha thinkin’ bout, tori?” ribbed Sans.

She wrinkled her nose at him. “You are feeding an old lady fantasies. You should be ashamed.”

“why would i be ashamed of that? seems to me that’s one of the best things a person can do.”

That brought Toriel up short. It was true… fantasies were worth something. And before the news of Asgore’s death, it had been a long time since she had had any new ones. And yet…  _this?_

She eased herself delicately back into her chair, as if her bones might break. “Are you merely trolling me, Sans? Or do you honestly think I should pursue a relationship with Dr. Alphys?”

He turned to the fireplace. “well, you said yourself this place could use a little love.”

Well. She had said that, hadn’t she? “But Sans… I had thought I would watch my  _companions_ fall in love, and that I could enjoy it from afar! It is so much easier to watch others fall in love, and I have already put in my time!”

“what can i say? love isn’t fair.”

Toriel squirmed in her chair and buried her face in her hands. “Why me?”

“cause i’m the lazy one,” Sans replied. “and you’re the one who does the right thing.”

It was infuriating, sometimes, how right he had a habit of being.

[++++++++++++++++++++++++++]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people like imagining the skelebros’ mother is named Arial. You can imagine that if you want!
> 
> So, a couple commenters on the previous chapter found the ‘penance party’ idea surreal and unbelievable. In penance for writing a scene that puzzled my readers, I wrote a rough dialogue that might have taken place between Toriel and Alphys after the end of Chapter 24 to explain their thinking. If you’d like to see it, let me know!


	27. Flowers in the Sun

 

[+]

**Scene 27: Flowers in the Sun**

_or_

“Garden Mystery”  
  


* * *

 

  
Toriel made eggs for breakfast, sunny side up. They were a success—the good doctor was coaxed out of bed early by the smell of eggs, parsley and coriander and the gentle sound of sizzling in the skillet. She had on her lab coat, rather than trying to scavenge a suitable outfit from the leftover children’s clothes Toriel had offered her. While Biff had been large enough that Alphys could probably wear his clothes, they were very old and ragged by now, apart from being too masculine for the good doctor, so Toriel understood why she preferred to stick with her coat. Still, Toriel would have to sew her a new wardrobe soon. She would have begun already, but crafting the costumes for the day of penance had put that project on hold.

Alphys arrived in the kitchen full of vim, as Toriel imagined a scientist should be when on a promising road to discovery. “Good morning, Toriel!”

“Good morning, Alphys!”

“Would you like any help with breakfast?”

“No, thank you. I am nearly finished, and the kitchen is small. You may set out our dishes if you wish, however!”

Alphys gathered plates and flatware and bustled out to do just that. Toriel took a moment to breathe in the beauty of her life. She was not alone anymore, but unlike the last seven times that had been the case, she had adult company rather than juvenile. It was refreshingly different. She relished the company of children dearly, but as child after child had left her nest, only to meet the same terrible end, she had to admit a fatalistic air had come to tarnish the experience. Even in her happiest moments with her later children, there had been a profound sadness in the background. Toriel had grown used to that sadness, but now that circumstances were different? It was gone. True, there was the sadness of having lost Asgore for good in its place, but Toriel knew that would fade. What was happening now was new, and she was glad for it… and besides, it was nice having someone willing to  _offer_ help with breakfast, rather than having to be coaxed into it.

There was a beauty to adulthood, Toriel reflected, just as there was beauty in childhood. But she was not accustomed to living with other adults. She had tried doing so for a week in the castle, and that had gone tragically poorly. Surely, though, she would get used to it again in time.

She had therefore warned Sans that she might inadvertently treat him like a child at first, and that he would have to forgive her. He had been unconcerned. “suits me fine,” he had said. “children get good treatment around here.” She had not yet broached the subject with Alphys, however, and now that Sans had raised a certain… intriguing possibility, she was not sure doing so would be a good idea.

Then again, Alphys was not a permanent resident: she would have her own home soon. Indeed, once breakfast was underway, Alphys suggested that today might be a good day for her to go and tour Home in search of a suitable dwelling.

“Would you like me to accompany you, Alphys? I can guide you through the city and do my best to answer any questions you may have.”

“Oh, s-sure, that’d be great! Sans, um, do you want to come along too?”

“nah, i should probably carry another three boxes or so back from my place in snowdin. maybe i’ll shoot the breeze a little in town, see how folks liked your funeral. that should tie up most of my day.”

Toriel hid a snicker. She knew well that Sans could transport more than three boxes a day, but if he chose to move in at his own pace, she would not pressure him. There was no need for haste in the Ruins. Indeed, finding ways to occupy themselves might well be their greatest challenge! “Very well, Sans. In that case, we will trust you to handle your own lunch, and see you later for dinner.”

“sounds good. hope you find some neat digs, al.”

She chuckled. “Thanks! I’ll—I’ll try. Hopefully I won’t live  _too_ far away.”

“Indeed not! We shall expect you to visit frequently!”

“…Right! Will you, um… will you want me to send word somehow, or will it be all right if I just… just drop in?”

Toriel looked to Sans. “Oh, I think it will be all right if you simply drop in. What do you think, Sans?”

She thought she detected a tiny sigh. “sure. our casa is your casa.”

“Thanks!” said Alphys. “M… maybe I’ll try to come by every evening for dinner! At least for a while. It would… help me feel connected.”

“I should like that very much,” Toriel agreed. “I will be sure to make enough food each night for the three of us. And after dinner, we can sit in the living room and talk about our days.”

Alphys grinned and went back to eating. Toriel saw her tail swaying high behind her—an unmistakable sign of joy. She resisted the urge to hug herself with pride.

* * *

“My top priority,” Alphys explained, “is energy.” They were having a spirited conversation as they walked through the loam-rich outskirts of Home. A few sheds and dwellings here had been completely reclaimed by the earth, while other structures had been reduced to crumbled wall fragments or chunks of foundation.

“Energy?” asked Toriel curiously.

“Yes! Energy is what makes everything else happen!”

What an utterly charming idea! “In that case, I suppose I should ask: what exactly  _is_ energy, in the scientific sense?”

In a single step, Alphys let her tail swing quite a bit further than one might expect; Toriel had noticed this to be a habit of hers when she was happy. “Energy is potential for change! Anytime something moves—and that includes tiny little movements too small to see—it takes energy to do it! So if I want to make anything big happen here, I’ve got to find a source of energy!”

Toriel struggled to understand. “But if everything that moves does so because of energy… then are not all things energy sources?” she reasoned.

Alphys actually laughed at this, to her surprise. Happily, though, it appeared the scientist was laughing with her, so to speak, not at her. “I—I guess in a way, they are! But! If something moves, and… and stops moving, then that means it’s already transferred its energy to something else! So I’m looking for things that  _keep_ moving, or that have lots of inherent potential for  _making_ things move! When Gaster built the Core, he used geothermal energy. That’s the heat of the planet itself! You know, Toriel, our planet is very active, especially deeper down than we are. It… it can’t be stilled! It keeps churning and mixing and spurting its molten rocks and metals… and if you have that kind of power, you might as well… you might as well use it!”

As she spoke, Alphys gestured to the earth around them, with its furrows and rocks, and to the roof, its crags and stalactites visible high above. But the more she spoke, the more her eyes fastened on Toriel herself. Did the doctor view her as a source of power—churning, liquid, unquellable?

“I suppose you might as well!” she agreed. “But how does one utilize the energy of the earth?”

“W-well, you have to get to where the heat is, and then you can use it to do various things—heat water until it steams away and turns a turbine, for example—but here, there isn’t any obvious source of geothermal heat! Do you know of any geysers or deep crevices around here?”

They began walking again. “No, I am afraid I do not. Home is a peaceful place. I believe the magma you possess in Hotland flows here only deep beneath our feet. Do you have another potential source of energy?”

“That’s what I’m looking for. There’s no water here, so hydroelectric and tidal are out. Is there a lot of wind anywhere in the Ruins?”

“There is the mistral! It is a high wind that traces the roof of the cavern, and occasionally ventures low enough to blow the leaves off the trees.”

This news delighted Alphys. “That sounds perfect! W-well, almost perfect. I might have some trouble building high enough to capture it, and if it’s irregular like that… well, I wouldn’t want to damage the local ecology.”

Toriel put one hand on her hip. “You are not planning to steal the mistral from us, are you?”

“N-no! I mean, I couldn’t! I don’t think I could. I just want to draw off a little energy from it to run a generator. Then we could have electricity!”

Excitement lit up in Toriel’s heart. “Home has never had electricity. We have always lived simply here. Do you really think it would be a good idea, doctor?”

“Of course! What’s not to like? Video games… television… a refrigerator you don’t need to load with ice… motorized machines…” She pointed to a half-tumbled tower. “We could start to clear out some of the fallen buildings! And m-m-maybe we could rebuild them? Over time? And if we had help?”

The thought of rebuilding Home… it had been a constant in the back of Toriel’s mind, an old friend whose strength had long since failed, for almost as long as Toriel had dwelt there. Now Alphys was lending this beloved notion new strength. Was it really possible?

“Um… Tor.. Toriel? You’re just staring… are you all right?”

Hope. Toriel was staring in hope. This little creature before her had brought back a flavor of hope she had long been without. “Alphys… you seem to act as if anything is possible!”

Alphys swung the tip of her tail around until she was clutching it. “W-w-well, technically, it is! You can never prove something is impossible… just that it’s v-v-very unlikely!”

Such an uplifting attitude! “But… may I ask you something delicate, my friend?”

Instantly the scientist tensed up, all nerves. “Y… yes?”

“If your belief is that anything is possible,” Toriel asked softly, “then why did you come so close to… ending your life? Could you not sense hope in the darkness?”

The tension became a head-to-toe blush. “Well, I… I don’t think my hope ever completely  _left_ me. I think I just… sh-shifted my priorities around? The worse things got, the less, um,  _value_ I placed on… the life I knew, and the more I placed on…” She spread her hands wantonly. “What might come!”

What might come. The mystery at the bottom of a black abyss, or the mystery that was Toriel’s Ruins. They were in the midst of Alphys’s unknown even now—everything they did was something the lizard had plunged into, as blindly as if she had jumped off a cliff. The sentiment stirred Toriel’s heart; she lowered herself to one knee. “This is somewhat awkward! I feel that I ought to hug you, but I do not want to simply pick you up, because then we would not feel like equals.”

“Oh! Th-that’s okay. I’ll… come and hug you, then?”

Toriel opened her arms wide. “If you would!”

So they embraced. They held each other a bit longer than Toriel thought was proper. The purpose of this hug, she reminded herself, was to comfort Alphys against the specter of the shadow that had nearly claimed her life, and to affirm that what she had gotten instead, her ‘what-might-come’, was a good life indeed. Yet Alphys held on tightly, nuzzling her cheek into Toriel’s chest, as if there was even more to be expressed. Toriel patted her companion’s back, wondering whether what Sans had suggested last night might really be true.

Finally Alphys drew back. “You know, Tori… you really know h… you really are good at making people feel better.”

Toriel grinned with pride, struggling to keep her lips closed. Was this the proper time to ask? Or should she simply continue in the course of things and let Alphys bring it up in her own time? In case Sans was wrong, a measure of caution would spare them both embarrassment.

“If I have helped lead you out of despair, I am glad,” she declared. “I am very glad. I had no idea that either you _or_ Sans carried such heavy burdens.” 

Alphys clutched her hands tightly together. “I still can’t believe I’m leaving it all behind. It f-feels t-too good to be true!”

“My ch—my dear one, there are times in our lives when we must struggle simply to accept what we have. Just because a turn of fortune may be… fortunate… does not mean that it is easy to adjust to.”

“N-n-no. It isn’t. But… it’s wonderful. I miss Undyne, and… and Mettaton, and the amalgamates, but…” She looked around, eying a line of Froggits hopping over each other in the distance. “But I can do science here, and it’s pristine, and no one hates me…” Her face was a perfect picture of hope, until it faded back into anxiety. “Well, it would be nice if Sans could forgive me. But I… I understand there are some things you just can’t take back… and no break can ever be a p-perfectly c… clean one.”

“He will forgive you in time, I am confident of it,” Toriel assured her. Her nose twitched—it now seemed opportune to approach the question from another angle. “Alphys? Will you satisfy my curiosity on something?”

Mixed sentiments spilled over the scientist’s face. “Um… s-sure?”

“Do you remember asking me, a few days ago, whether Sans and I were a couple?”

Fear and excitement, commingled. “Um… yes?”

Toriel held her companion’s eyes, still kneeling. “It may have been presumptive of me, but at the time, I suspected it was not mere curiosity that led you to ask that.”

Now Alphys clutched her own hands even more tightly. “You… you did?” she asked nervously.

Toriel smiled, allowing a hint of coyness to slip in. “I suspected that you were interested in Sans, and that you were checking to see whether he was unattached.”

A flash of surprise, a loosening of muscles, a release of breath. There was unmistakable relief in Alphys’s bearing for a split second. Not guilt—relief! That could only mean one thing: Sans was right.

“Oh! Aheh… um… well, if… if that were true… would you…” Her voice became a squeak. “How would you feel about it?”

Toriel favored Alphys with her most innocent look. “Why, I would be utterly delighted! Is it not always a beautiful thing for love to bloom?”

The yellow tail rose and hugged the ground in awkward alternation. “Er, yes! Yes, yes, it is. Um… so… maybe I…  _am_ fond of him?”

Oh, really? “In that case, may I be so childish as to ask what you think his most desirable quality is?”

This flustered Alphys. “Um… his, um… his figure? He’s, um…”

Toriel smiled and waited patiently.

“He’s very… fat? For a skeleton? And I think that’s… an interesting, um…”

“Our Sans is a creature of paradoxes,” contributed Toriel.

“Yes! Yes, exactly! That’s what makes him… um, amazing.”

Honesty was important. That was undeniable. But some things were more important than honesty. Alphys was clearly fibbing to her about Sans, most likely to make Toriel feel better—which was heartwarming. It would be unkind to continue pressing this charade. But at the same time, if she were to confront the lizard about her true feelings, it would place her on the spot, so to speak. And since Toriel did not reciprocate those apparent feelings, it would be unfair to do so.

So instead, she flashed a conspiratorial grin and said nothing more. Let Alphys think that she considered her crush on Sans to be a little secret between them. In the meantime, Toriel would contemplate the reality of things.

She stood up and straightened her robe. “You did not mention sunlight as an energy source,” she pointed out. “But the sun provides energy, does it not?”

Alphys cleared her throat in apparent relief. “Um, yes! But. We don’t  _have_ any sunlight down here. Only Asgore had that, in his throne room…”

“My friend, would you like to see a place that is very special to me?”

Alphys gulped and swallowed, unable to say no to that. So Toriel led the way.

“Oh! Are we going to the place where the children come from? The b-back entrance to the Underground?”

“You have guessed it! But I think of it as the main entrance, and the barrier as if it were at the back.” Toriel smiled. “That is my little indulgence, I suppose.”

Alphys was trotting along now. “Is there actually sunlight there?”

“Yes, there is a small patch of sunlight. Come and see!”

Toriel took pride in not letting her schedule of hours slip away, despite living far from civilization. She got up in the early morning and she went to bed shortly after night began. Most monsters, after all, did not have the luxury of a patch of sunlight to ground their schedules. Before all of this tumult, Toriel had visited hers daily. The fact that it was always sunny when she came proved that she had not let her clock run down nor her habits drift. Sometimes clouds dulled the light from far above, but there was always light.

Now she got to share her special place with someone very special. Suddenly, Toriel was afraid that Alphys would not find it impressive. After all, it was just a little place. “I hope you are not disappointed when we arrive,” she said as they walked across the spike bridge. “It is not very large.”

“It d-doesn’t have to be large,” Alphys said. “I loved spending time in Asgore’s garden… I’m thrilled that you have a patch of sunlight too!”

At the end of a good half hour of travel, they arrived. It was quiet here, as always. Well, as almost always. Toriel was still concerned about the sentient flower she had encountered last time. Had she killed it? Would it return? She did not know, but she chose not to burden her companion with that worry just now.

“Welcome to my little garden!” Toriel announced, spreading her hands forward.

Alphys laughed and ran toward the flowerpatch almost like a dancer might. “It’s covered in flowers! You have golden flowers here!”

“Yes! I wanted that to be a surprise. I have been tending them ever since I returned to this place.”

“Wow! They look beautiful!”

“Please do not trample my flowers, doctor!”

The lizard had showed no sign of slowing down, but plopped to a halt just at the edge of the patch, dropping to belly and elbows to examine the flowers. Toriel walked up to join her.

“Nine hundred years,” murmured Alphys,” staring at the flowers from the ground. “That’s how long it was, right?”

Toriel felt her eyes water. “Yes. That is how long I have been here.”

“And you kept this patch of flowers growing for… a-all that time?”

“It went through the occasional rough patch,” Toriel admitted. “There were times when I did not want to garden every day. Times when I was tired of the life I had given myself.” She thought then of Emma and her night terrors. Of Mickey hiding from her with his toy gun, waiting in ambush. “And there were times when my children demanded my attention, and I was not able to visit this flowerbed. But I always saved some seeds, and I was always able to restore it.” She lowered her voice. “The flowers grow thin when it is winter on the surface. There is not as much sunlight then. But it is warmer down here than it is up there, and they never completely die, so long as I water them and keep their soil free from weeds and stones.”

Alphys reached out toward one of the flowers. “May I… may I touch one?”

Toriel smiled and sat down, her knees held in her arms. “Yes, you may.”

Four chubby yellow fingers ran up the green stem as if it were the most sacred thing in the world. They stopped at the sepals, slowly rubbing against the flower’s surface. “You’re so amazing, Tori.” These words were whispered so quietly that Toriel believed she had not been meant to hear them, and therefore, she pretended not to.

“You seem to be quite taken with my little garden!” Toriel exclaimed.

Alphys let go of the flower. “It’s just like Asgore’s, but smaller. Well, and he has other flowers around the edge, and you only grow this one species. But the soil feels just like being in the throne room, and the flowers are just as beautiful, and the sounds…” She rose to her knees and cupped her hand to her earhole. “I can hear something from far away, maybe above! Just like in the throne room. Oh, god, I love sunlight. It’s so… nourishing.”

Toriel nodded. “How true, doctor! It is.”

“A-and most monsters have never even had the chance to feel it!”

That was also true. Toriel sat in solemn silence, remembering when sunlight was everywhere, every day. Even having forgotten all her acquaintances and dramas from the surface, that was something she could still remember.

Alphys spoke after a while. “I could p-possibly set up a solar power cell to capture some of the sunlight, and use that for… electricity. But…” She swallowed. “But I don’t want to! This light is too… special. I wouldn’t want to block any of it! The flowers need it… and s-s-so do we.”

“There have, indeed, been times when I have felt that way, doctor. I have found this place invaluable. It is where Ziggy is buried.”

Alphys gasped and fell back. She sat with legs folded, regarding the flowerbed she now knew was a grave. “B-but I thought Asgore put all the dead children in those coffins in the castle!”

“He did. But I took the body of our first human child with me when I left. I was not willing to leave them behind. The seeds from the flowers clung to their body, and that is why they grow here.”

Alphys absorbed this sacred truth of Toriel’s existence in silence. Toriel was glad. It was good to be able to tell these weighty, important things to someone, after all this time. And it was good for that person to accept the sadness associated with this garden for what it was. There would always be sadness here, just as there would always be hope. It was, and would always be, the most bittersweet of places.

But then Dr. Alphys turned to Toriel, concerned. “Toriel? Why were there seeds clinging to Ziggy’s body? Did they… did they die in the flowers?”

She smiled sadly. “They died in bed. It was only after Asriel returned from the world above, wounded and still carrying his sibling’s body, that he dropped Ziggy into the garden.” It amazed her how easy these terrible words were to say, so far had she come these last few days.

“S-so… Asriel died in Asgore’s flowerbed?”

Toriel closed her eyes, remembering. “Yes. It was a terrible sight. His dust spread over the flowers, and he was gone. Forever gone from us. Our son.”

But Alphys did not allow Toriel a moment’s peace. “Was it right in the middle of the flowers? Where exactly did his dust land?!”

Why would Alphys care so much about such a detail? “Yes, it was squarely in the middle! That is where the golden flowers started to grow. One grew larger than the others, and I came to think of it as ‘his’ flower. In the weeks before I left the castle, I tended to it almost as if it was my son. But why do you ask?”

The lizard was trembling now. “To—Toriel. Did… was the…” She staggered to her feet. “How big was that flower?” She held her hand some twenty inches over the flowerbed. “Was it… was it about up to here?”

“It was. Alphys, how did you know?” She drew a sharp breath. “Could it be that the flower is still growing?”

Alphys bit her lip. “Promise not to get mad, okay?”

Toriel always hated being asked for that particular promise, because she could not make it. “I cannot control whether I grow mad or not. Alphys, will you please tell me what this is about?!”

Her companion visibly steeled herself and nodded. “That flower… it was still there when I was Royal Scientist. I was doing, um… experiments on how to possibly b-break the barrier… and, um… I needed a vessel—some living thing that wasn’t a monster—to see if I could… well, the eventual goal was to, um… store souls in it? H-human souls or… or monster souls. So I—”

She cut herself off, seeing how harsh Toriel’s look had grown. Toriel made an effort to soften her countenance. “Go on, doctor. You used my son’s flower as a vessel for your dark experiments, I take it?”

Alphys hid her face in her hands. “I didn’t—I didn’t know it was  _your son’s_ flower! Asgore never said! I asked him if I could use that flower, and he was reluctant but he said yes! I just thought it was his favorite—you know, his pride as a gardener or something. And yes… I injected DT into it. A lot of it. R-relatively speaking, I mean. Much more than the determinometer uses.”

Toriel had trouble containing herself. “And what became of this flower after you had so utilized it?”

“Well, I… I sent it back to Asgore, and he planted it back again where it had been…”

“Well, that is a relief. I had thought you were going to relate how it had died in some horrible fashion.”

“And… and then it disappeared.”

Toriel blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“Asgore called me up one day to tell me it was… gone. I rushed over to see… I checked the soil… the flower was gone, roots and all!”

“It… disappeared? So somebody stole it?”

Alphys shrugged helplessly. “He had guards at the door… I don’t know how anyone could have taken it.”

“But… a flower could not simply get up and walk away!”

Alphys bit her nails as if to say,  _Maybe this one could?_

“Oh come, doctor. A flower cannot—”

Then she remembered.  _A flower with a face._

“Alphys,” she said, only to find her throat suddenly constricted. “When I f…” She paused to swallow. “When I first found the narrow-eyed child, I was only a little distance from here.” She pointed into the darkness. “The child… was being tormented by a… by a golden flower. A talking golden flower. With a face. And a cruel laugh, and bullets shaped like seeds.”

What? No!” exclaimed Alphys.

“Yes,” said Toriel direly. “The flower was about to kill the child. I acted swiftly.” She had to work to expel the next set of words. “I cast a fireball. I blew it away.”

Alphys knelt with her hands over her mouth, eyes white and wide.

“I am not sure whether I killed it,” she continued. “I… I do not believe so. But it may have perished in the shadows.” Suddenly, the tragedy of the situation struck her. “Oh! Oh, my Asriel!”

Alphys, too, sobbed with horror, and perhaps shame. She hugged Toriel; Toriel knelt to welcome her embrace. “Oh, your p-poor son! It must have been him. I mean… we sprinkle the dust of the departed on their favorite objects because it i-imbues them with their essence, right? So that isn’t j-just what we tell ourselves? It… it really works?”

Toriel thought back to all the funerals she had known. “I have never actually considered in much detail about what it means for an object to be imbued with a monster’s essence. I suppose it did not matter until now whether it was true or not—it was as true for us as we imagined it to be.”

“But then… if it is him, in this flower… what exactly _is_ he?”

“It must be him,” Toriel whispered, feeling chilled. “But then… what has become of him? Why would my Asriel, my kind, sweet Asriel, attack and torment a poor child?”

“W-w-well, the child wasn’t exactly innocent, right? I mean… they _did_ turn out to be a killer.”

That did not explain it. Toriel had seen the malice in the flower’s face and heard its terrible, mocking voice. “No,” she said. “The flower was not simply detaining the child, or fighting to defend itself. It was choosing to hurt. To frighten. To destroy.” She squinched shut her eyes. “There was nothing good about it.”

“Then I don’t know.” Alphys sounded as helpless as Toriel felt. “I wish I had an answer for you.”

Toriel stood, pulling free from her companion’s arms. She walked back along the path. “What if it is—if  _he_ is still here? What can we do?”

Alphys hurried along. “I don’t know! M-maybe we can try talking? B—but we should be ready to fight… just in case.”

To fight against her own son. She remembered Mickey—it would not be the first time, but it would feel just as perverse. She had felt like her soul was dying as she stood before the purple doors and did battle with the narrow-eyed child.  _This is not right_ , she had told herself, but she had seen no other choice. Well, perhaps if Asriel, warped and twisted by time, chose to attack her, she would not resist. Perhaps she would simply flee, or stand her ground and let him choose how much damage he wished to wreak upon his mother.

No, that kind of thinking would no longer do, she told herself as they passed into the dark chamber. She had been able to abandon thoughts of safety once. But now she was no longer alone. Now, there were others who depended upon her.

The darkness was familiar. “This is where he fought the child,” she declared. “He sprouted from the dirt, here.” She rubbed it with her foot; there was no trace.

Alphys went to her knees and investigated. “It doesn’t look any different from the other dirt, but I guess we could collect some for testing. That is, um, if I ever manage to get any more testing equipment. I don’t even have anything suitable for carrying it. Do you have any, um, tupperware, Toriel?”

“I am not aware of what ‘tupperware’ is, but perhaps a cookie jar would do?”

“Oh, yeah… good thinking.” She dropped the dirt from her hand and looked into the darkness. “Hello? Is… is anyone out there?”

The walls were distant and indistinct in this place. The only light came from the shaft of sunlight in the next room; nothing was visible to either side. Toriel raised her own voice. “My son? Are you… listening to us, somewhere?”

There was nothing but the weight of silence.

“Asriel?” called Alphys.

Silence.

“Let’s go home,” Alphys suggested. “I can find a place to live later. This is more important.”

Toriel nodded. They re-entered the old catacombs and began the walk back.

To be trapped within a plant. She could not fathom what that would feel like. Before Alphys had chosen his flower, of all the possible vessels in the Underground, to be injected with determination, he had presumably been unable to move, unable to speak. Had he been aware? Had he beaten at the inside of his cage, screaming for his mother and father, for help, for solace? Had he been able to sense the world outside, or had he been cut entirely adrift? Perhaps he had possessed only such senses as flowers have—those of sunlight and water, cold and heat. Had there been anything more to the world than that for him?

The truth was, she could imagine how her darling son might have changed from what he was into a raving monster, over the course of nine centuries of confusion and solitude. But she did not wish to imagine it. Living in near solitude for all that time had been hard even for Toriel, and she had been a hermit by choice, knowing full well her place in things. Asriel must have suffered so. He must have suffered so deeply, so profoundly, so unthinkably much.

Her poor child. Was it even all of him that occupied the golden flower with a face? Or had only a portion of his essence seeped into that flower, all those years ago? Had he not even had his full self to comfort him in his imprisonment? Had he been torn asunder, left to struggle in pieces, with only splintered memories of the life that had once been his?

It was simply too much. Toriel chose to cut off her contemplation and empty her mind. Yet no mind is ever truly empty, and as they passed by puzzle after puzzle, purple hall after purple hall, her mental theater entertained a melange of scenes that once were. Her son, kneeling on a chair, making a sandwich for himself for the first time so that he could take it with him on a picnic. Wearing his shirt with his arms inside his sleeves, pretending he had none. Sledding with his father, trudging gamely up the hill for ten minutes in exchange for one minute of exuberance. Learning a board game from his sibling, his delight turning to consternation as they continually changed the rules. Climbing on top of Toriel’s easy chair to hug her from behind. Insisting affectionately that she tuck him in, night after night after night.

These thoughts calmed the surface of Toriel’s roiling ocean as she passed the ancient tree. And as she entered her home, she re-experienced the perennial joy of kissing her son on the cheek.

Was it conceivable that such a kiss could someday happen again?

[+++++++++++++++++++++++++++]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been slightly revised from its original version due to a couple of flower-related continuity errors, one of which was pointed out by a reader.
> 
> Even if the original concept art gave Toriel a water wheel, I’m assuming Toriel’s lamp is not electric, but somehow magic-based, perhaps like the lanterns and mushrooms in Waterfall.
> 
> I don’t know what lights the Underground. Bioluminescent plants on the ceiling, maybe, but it’s hard to imagine they could provide the kind of light you get in Snowdin. But whatever it is, I imagine that it fades slightly at night, giving the monsters the same hazy sense of day and night you might get at, say, a busy hotel convention.
> 
> ‘Le Mistral’ is the name of an actual wind in Southern France. Isn’t it charming when people name their winds?


	28. The Air Is Cleared

 [+]

**Scene 28: The Air Is Cleared**

_or_

“Small Shocks”

When Sans got home, he wasn’t even able to set down his box of badly packed junk before both ladies descended on him, talking about some weird thing from the past they’d unearthed. So he left his stuff by the door and they all went to the living room to talk about it. It was going to be one of those days.

“you guys seem pretty worked up. everything ok?”

“We are not in danger, if that is what you are wondering. But I am quite affected by what Alphys has told me!”

“It… it could be good news, right? In a way, w-we can see it as good news!”

Too much. Sans held up a finger. “ut! one at a time, ok? what’s going on?”

Maybe they were talking one at a time now, but they were still both chattering like it’d just been invented. Okay, so no one had been attacked—all that had happened was a conversation. Still, conversations could be dangerous. They could make or break lives, and Sans knew that. So he gave this his full attention, and what he heard chilled him.

“a talking flower, huh? ‘bout yea high?”

“Yes,” said Toriel. “Somehow, I had not realized how much it looked like the flower that grew from my son’s dust. But with one thing and another, I did not have a proper chance to reflect.”

“well, i’ve got good news for ya. if that thing is your son, and assuming you didn’t kill him… turns out he’s capable of making friends.”

Toriel’s eyebrows got tight. “Friends?”

“yeah, a few days before the human came through, papyrus started talking about a new best friend of his. said he was a talking flower.”

Now her nostrils flared. “Your brother made friends with my reincarnated son?!”

“besties, apparently. i just figured the flower was imaginary. until pap started telling me about the things it made him do. things he wouldn’t have thought of on his own.”

“Wh-what kind of things?” asked Alphys.

Sans shrugged. “writing notes and leaving them for people. stealing books and putting them back later. slipping tabasco sauce into people’s food. honestly, i’m worried it might have been something worse than tabasco sauce.”

They gaped silently. “Can we be certain it was the same flower?” Toriel asked.

Of course it was the same flower. But sure, he’d play along. “well, he called his friend ‘he’ and said he was a golden flower. said sometimes the flower used to tap him with something called ‘friendliness pellets’ that, wouldn’t you know it, look and feel exactly like bullets. he said they even did damage, but that it was ‘affectionate damage’. i told he should stop seeing this flower if it hurts him, but he was loyal to a fault. wouldn’t turn his back on a friend, even one i thought was imaginary.”

Toriel froze. “What shape of bullet?”

“i think he said they were like seeds.”

She exhaled. “We are speaking of the same flower, then. It is so strange to think of my Asriel doing these things! But then, he was confined within the flower for hundreds and hundreds of years. I cannot fathom how that kind of experience could change a person.”

No kidding. “yeah. probably one of those things you can’t understand without going through it.”

She clenched her hand on the arm of her chair. “I am not certain I would want to understand it.”

Sans knew the feeling. But he was past that point. If this freak creature was really out there, talking to— _oh shit._ Alphys had said she’d used DT to make it happen, hadn’t she? _Oh shit._

Doing his best to stay cool, he leaned over toward Alphys. “out of curiosity, alph, how much determination did you give him? was it more than any one of the human souls had to begin with?”

“N-no. It was about thirty percent of that. Um… 0.3 HDUs, I called it. Human Determination Units.”

So the kid had been stronger. Still, the kid was gone, and that sounded like a lot. “is there any other creature in the underground with that kind of determination?”

The lizard swallowed, looking away for a moment. “I th-think Undyne has a lot of DT,” she confessed. “B-but not _that_ much.”

“you know that for a fact?”

“Um… no… I never got the chance to test her…”

“Why do you ask?” inquired Toriel.

Oops. Wasn’t being exactly subtle, was he? “no reason. just curious.”

“S-so… what do we do now?” asked Alphys.

That was a good question. Sans couldn’t think what else to ask. Seemed like neither of the others was having any better luck, since they sat in silence for a while.

At last, Toriel rose brusquely from her chair. “Perhaps I should have started by making tea. It is what Asgore would have done.”

“I could go for some tea,” Alphys put in.

So she set the kettle warming and came back. “It seems likely to me,” Toriel resumed, “that this flower, whatever he may be, is aware that we are here. If I did not… inadvertently kill him, that is. And as such, if he is not introducing himself to us, it must mean he does not wish to reunite.”

“Unless… unless he’s lost his mind,” Alphys pointed out. “Could it be he doesn’t even remember you?”

Toriel only sagged in her chair at this thought, saying nothing.

This was no good. Time to break the ice. Maybe he’d even get some kind of insight. “so i’ve got a question for you,” said Sans.

Both women turned their attention toward him. “Yes, Sans?”

“it’s kind of a weird question, so let me think how to put it.” He leaned back to consider. “ok. so, you know how sometimes you do something, and you wish you could take it back? it didn’t go like you planned, and now you’d give anything if you could undo it?”

Toriel’s look saddened further. “I know very well how that feels.”

Alphys put her elbows on the table. “Sometimes I feel like my whole life is like that.”

“alright. sure. now in the real world, if we do something we don’t like, we _can’t_ take it back. if it’s done, it’s done. but let’s say you could. let’s say you’ve got the power to just… _will_ yourself back to when you were about to do the dumb thing, and do something else instead.”

“I am with you,” said Toriel, clearly concerned.

“That would be great,” opined Alphys. “But what’s your question?”

Sans sat forward and thought about how to phrase it. “the question is… what happens to the people you leave behind? when you go back to do things over… what happens to the people who just lived through the dumb thing you did? do they just…” He snapped his fingers ripely. “…go back to the way they were? is everything they did since then just… lost? or do they keep on going, but without you? or…” His eye gleamed for a moment. “…do they keep on going _with_ you… only it’s a different you? when you go back to do things over, do you leave one of yourself behind? so now there’s a you who did the dumb thing, who’s got to live with it, and another you, who’s got the chance to make things right?”

“I… am not sure I entirely understand the question!” said Toriel.

Alphys thrummed her fingers nervously on the table. “I think I understand. This is… this is an awfully weird hypothetical question. But what does it have to do with Asriel?”

Well, he couldn’t exactly answer that, could he? So Sans just sat there, staring into the distance.

The tea kettle began to whistle.

Toriel shoved her chair back with a start. “I will get that. One moment.” She hurried into the kitchen and bustled about. Sans felt Alphys watching him and leaned crosswise over the table to meet her eyes.

“Is this about that old story about King Donegan?” she murmured.

She was sharp, this one. Sans made his grin into a mask. “he wasn’t the only king who got do-overs.”

Her claws dug into the tabletop. “You’re saying that old human story is true? About their king who was so determined he could turn back time?!”

Sans nodded. “dunno about king donegan. but i know king asgore used to have the power. i know because he told me.”

Alphys stared. “He could turn back time? R-really?”

Since he’d come this far, he might as well keep going. Just so long as Toriel didn’t hear. “yup. he didn’t like doing it, though. i wouldn’t either, if it were me. he said it made him feel like he was killing everyone in the underground, if only a little bit. for all i know, he might be right.”

“I… I don’t understand. That just raises so many questions!”

No kidding, right? “the first time he used it was to save us all,” Sans went on. “when we first fled underground, we left a path open and the humans came down after us. we didn’t get out of home fast enough. so he went back and made sure there was no path back. after that, he only ever went back a little bit, just to see how it worked. a few minutes here, a second or two there.”

“And he never told anyone?”

“he told a few people. mostly only after they were about to figure it on their own, like me. he might’ve told toriel. but if she doesn’t know, i think she’d be happier not knowing.”

“But… but he’s gone! Why are you bringing it up now?”

“because he’s gone,” Sans answered. “and undyne’s still around.”

That only made her more tense. “What does this have to do with Undyne?!”

“not sure if i should say. not my secret to tell.” _Still, if you’re as smart as you look,_ _you should be able to put the pieces together._

Alphys glared. “Come on, Sans! Y-you can’t just drop a… an intellectual bomb like that and not explain why it matters!”

Fair point. “well, lemme just say this. one day, asgore lost his power. a few hundred years ago, he told me, he tried going back a few seconds, just to see if he could still do it… and he couldn’t.”

“ _What?_ Why? Wh-what happened?”

Sans shrugged. “they say when you get older, you can’t do everything you used to. here today, gone tomorrow.”

“ _But Asgore wasn’t getting older!_ ”

He widened his grin. “i know. funny how that works, isn’t it?”

And there was Tori, coming back. Padded footsteps and the clinking of cups and saucers. Looked like the service wasn’t arranged perfectly, but a frazzled state of mind’d do that to you.

She set it down on the table. “Here is the tea. Shall we drink?”

Alphys looked uneasy, but she poured herself a cup and drank. They all did, even though it trickled down Sans’ ribs and along his spine.

“Ow,” murmured Alphys. “Too hot.”

“That is what occurs when you expose water to flame,” said Toriel acerbically. “It is customary to sip until the liquid is comfortably cool.”

Ouch, Tori. Coming from her, that was a cold burn.

Alphys blew on her tea, spilling a little. None of them spoke.

Then Toriel closed her eyes. “I am sorry. I am just… upset about what I have learned.” She took a breath to calm her temper, then looked at Sans. “Was Alphys able to answer your rather strange question, Sans?”

“nah. but i didn’t really think she would. i’ve been mulling it around for a while now.”

“And what is its importance?”

 _Let it go, Tori._ “didn’t say it was important, did i?” Sans replied, sipping calmly from his cup. “just something that’s been on my mind. what happens to the folks who get left behind?”

Toriel huffed. “Are you speaking of Undyne and Mettaton?”

 _Totally wrong track, Tori._ He leaned forward quizzically. “did those two get left behind? they’re in charge of the kingdom.”

“I don’t think he’s talking about anyone in particular,” said Alphys.

“Then what do you mean, Sans?”

 _Damn—should have just made a joke and changed the subject. Too late now._ “i guess i’m just worried all of us might get left behind. at any moment. and i’m wondering, what happens then?”

“Left behind by what, Sans?” demanded the former queen.

“tori, i’ll be honest. i don’t think you really want to know.”

She sat up a little higher, and the light gleamed off her horns. “Do you think I wanted to know that my son had returned from the dead, only for me to strike him down unawares? That I may have killed my own son, thus ending his rarest of second chances?!”

“nope. you probably didn’t want to know that either. i’m trying to protect you, tori.”

She set down her teacup with a loud clink. “I am tired of not knowing the truth! I was _glad_ to learn of this, Sans! Even if I am disturbed, it is _good_ to know.” She looked at Alphys. “And I was glad to learn about the sacrifice my children made ages ago, trying to save our people. Did you think my heart could not take the knowledge on that fourth videotape? My heart is stronger than either of you think.”

“I—I didn’t think you couldn’t _take_ it, Tori, I just… thought maybe it wasn’t the best time, since you were about to make your speech…”

Toriel paused a moment. “Yes, that is true. I appreciate that. But I am tired of _you_ speaking in riddles!” she said to Sans. “You are supposed to be in my employ! Are you my judge, or are you working only for yourself?”

Flip. He’d expected her to be piqued, but this was a level of anger he hadn’t bargained for. “i work for you, tori. but i really don’t think you want to know what i’m thinking.”

“Then why are you _hinting_ at it? You are always hinting at things that you wish to keep secret, as if you wish to appear mysterious.”

“that’s just my style, tori. i like to take the long way round sometimes. come at things from another angle.”

“Are you coming at this from another angle, or are you trying to prevent me from coming upon it at all?”

Alphys stood up. “I… I think maybe I understand what he was trying to say, Tori, and, well… he might be right. You might be better off not knowing.” _Thanks, kid._

“Is that how weak you think I am, Alphys? That in my tenderness I cannot handle _knowledge?_ ”

“I—I don’t think you’re weak, Toriel!”

“Then why will you not tell me what Sans is driving at?”

“because you’re already upset,” Sans interjected. “you’re not acting like yourself. you even spilled your tea.”

Toriel looked down at the drops on her saucer. “And can you blame me? I have been exiled from my rightful throne, and now here in my own home, I am beset by people intent on teasing me with hints of the truth, only to treat me like a child and keep me from it!”

“I would never treat you that way, Toriel!” blurted Alphys.

Her brows narrowed. “No? Then why did you claim to me that you fancy Sans, when it is clear you do not?”

Alphys squeaked and blushed, her hands flying to her muzzle.

Wait. Alphys was saying she liked _him?_ “what’s this about?” Sans demanded.

But the lizard didn’t say anything—her blush just got redder.

“She is maintaining the fiction that she is fond of you,” said Toriel sardonically. “She told me today that she finds your figure alluring.”

…Now that was a new one. “my… my figure? do i have a figure?”

“You are very fat for a skeleton, according to Alphys. That is apparently what she is drawn to.”

He stood up, clutching the edge of the table. “it’s not nice to mess with a guy, alph.”

“I wasn’t messing with you!” she burst out. “It’s just… Toriel was pressing me, and—I didn’t want to say—”

“No, you did not, did you? That is becoming a rather common theme with me, is it not? No one wants to tell me how they truly feel!”

She wasn’t the only one irritated with Alphys and her dumb cover story. “would you rather i’d told you i couldn’t stand this lizard?” he snapped. “at the time, i would’ve thrown her out myself. you think that would’ve made things happier, toriel?”

Toriel’s ears rose. “Perhaps it would have! The two of us had enough trouble getting you to confess your feelings!”

As if that was something they were _entitled_ to. “oh, believe me. there’s plenty i haven’t confessed.”

“You wanted to th-th-throw me out?” interrupted Alphys.

He really had. “what can i say? i’m not like my brother. i hold grudges.”

“B-b-but… I needed a place to recover from my hypothermia!”

He shrugged. “ruins aren’t that cold.”

Toriel stood up. “Sans, that is heartless even for you!”

Oh shit—she really went there. “you think i’m heartless? tori, you don’t know the first sliver about me.”

“And whose fault, exactly, is that?”

“it’s no one’s fault. it’s my _choice._ ”

Toriel planted her huge hands on the table. “Then prove me wrong! Give Alphys your forgiveness!”

“is that what this is about, tori? i already told you. i can’t do it!”

“All I ask is that you judge her formally!”

“i can’t. toriel, you understand what you’re asking of me? to let go? i’ve done the whole judgment already, all but the forgiveness. but i just can’t forgive the girl. it’d go against everything i am.”

“ _Everything_ you are?” Alphys objected. “I know I’m a mess, but I’m not the opposite of _everything_ you are.”

Great. Now he had to say it baldly, and he didn’t want to. “forgiving you would mean i’m willing to let my brother go.”

“He is gone already,” countered Toriel, eyes fiery. “It is a tragedy, but he is gone. There is nothing left to let go of but a memory!”

“and you think i want to let go of that?”

“ _Judge her!_ ” Holy spuds—she was actually roaring.

“ _Why are we yelling?_ ” yelled Alphys. “W-we should be happy! We learned something amazing today!”

Toriel turned on her. “Did we? Is it really so amazing that my son did not simply die nine hundred years ago, but was forced to suffer, confused and alone, turning gradually more evil until quite possibly _dying by my own hand?_ The word I would use for that is not ‘amazing!’”

Alphys held up her hands and waved them. “No! You’re missing the point! Don’t you see? This means that when we sprinkle the dust of dead monsters on things, it _really does_ imbue them with their essence! And apparently if you inject them with determination, it _brings them back!_ ”

“now hold on,” said Sans.

“It means we can bring monsters back from the dead!!”

“Without a soul!” screamed Toriel.

“W-w-well yes, it’s not perfect, but—”

“that sounds like a _really_ bad idea, kid.”

“I’m not a kid! And I’m not saying it’s a good idea, but…isn’t p-part of a person better than none?”

“if the part that’s missing is the soul? i don’t think it is. what, are we gonna take the scarf i sprinkled pap’s dust on and stick it with a needle? turn it into an evil talking scarf without a soul??”

“ _That’s not what I’m saying!_ I’m just saying, e-even if it’s not a good idea, sc-science is still advanced!”

“Well, tra-la-la!” said Toriel. “You will have to forgive those of us who are not scientists if we are not dancing on our—”

_Brrrrrrrriing._

Toriel stopped short and looked across the room. They all did.

_Brrrrrrrriing._

It was Toriel’s phone. Its old-fashioned ringtone hadn’t been heard since Sans and Alphys arrived. Not once. And there was only one person Sans could think of who might be calling.

_Holy flip._

_Brrrrrrrriing._

Toriel walked across the room and picked up the phone, examining its display. “It is the narrow-eyed child,” she numbly told her companions.

_Brrrrrrrriing._

“seriously?” said Sans. “the human is calling us back?” He had _not_ expected this when he made the call. He really hadn’t.

“P-p-p-pick it up!” cried Alphys.

_Brrrrrrrrii—_

Toriel pressed the talk button and held the phone to her ear, taking a shallow breath. “It is I, Toriel,” she said cautiously.

There was nothing for a few seconds. Then the boss monster’s jaw started to quiver. “Is it really you, my child?”

Her face went tight and strained, her eyes wide. She clapped one hand over the other. “My child, are you all right?”

A good ten seconds went by. Toriel shifted her position only slightly, her ears rising on either side. “Climbing? Do you mean you have been climbing the mountain? All day?”

“Put it on speakerphone!” Alphys shouted.

Toriel dutifully pressed the speakerphone button, and now a blend of mountain wind, background noise and emotional breathing filled the room. The reception was poor, making subtleties hard to pick up.

But there was a voice—meek, ragged, and familiar. “I’ve been calling all day, and all day yesterday. I tried to call from home, but I couldn’t get through. ‘Call recipient is outside of reception zone,’ it said.”

Toriel’s eyes drew closer together. “You could not call us back, but you did receive our message?”

“Yes!” cried the child on the other end. “I got Sans’ message. I listened to it over and over. I just wanted… I just wanted… to call back and say how sorry I am.”

Well how about that. How the everzotting flip about that. Sans walked over and leaned tensely against the banister.

“And so you decided that you would climb the mountain until you were able to reach us by telephone?” Toriel surmised.

A choked sound. “Yeah. I kind of didn’t think it would work. But I had to try.”

Toriel’s face was awash with compassion, but she kept her voice neutral. “It seems odd that the towers would be able to transfer our message to you, but unable to relay your call in return.”

“Search me! I don’t know why it is either. Toriel…” The child sighed deeply. “Toriel, Sans said you tried to rule as queen, but it didn’t work out. I’m so sorry.”

She smiled. “It is all right. I am really more suited to keeping a home than ruling a kingdom. But I was willing to do it, for it was my responsibility.”

“The reason they threw you out… it was me, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, my child. I am afraid that you have stained the image of humankind rather terribly among us.” Aw, Tori. Always the diplomat.

The child sniffled. “I should never have come.”

“Perhaps not, my dear one. You have caused despair to bloom in many hearts, and hatred in others.”

A broken sigh. “I didn’t even get what I wanted,” muttered the child. “It was all so stupid.” _No_ , thought Sans. _Calling this stupid is an insult to stupid things._

Now Alphys pattered closer. “Wh-what did you want in the first place?”

It was a few seconds before the child answered. “There was someone I wanted to meet. Someone who’d told me to come.”

“Who?”

Uncertainty cut through the voice. “Someone called Suzy? She talked to me in my dreams. She told me I had to come… I was their… your… only hope. Over and over she was there in my dreams, saying I was the only hope of monsterkind.”

Now this was intriguing. And unexpected. “did she say what exactly you were supposed to do for us?”

“No… no, and I was going to find her and ask her. I just wanted to meet her face to face. But… I never found out where she lived. I passed through the whole Underground, and I never found out what I was supposed to do, and I never found Suzy…”

“you sure she was real?” Sans asked. “maybe she really was just a dream. i don’t know anyone by that name, and i know a lot of people.”

Another sniffle. “She had to be real. At least I thought she did. They didn’t seem like normal dreams!”

Alphys spoke up. “I—I know someone called Suzy. She works in the core! She asks me questions sometimes. Well, she used to, anyway. I… I guess I won’t be seeing her anymore.”

“Was she a mouse?” asked the voice, now tinged with hope.

“Yes! She’s my f-former coworker’s daughter. Wh—why didn’t you ask me about her?”

“She didn’t want me to tell anyone about her. She said it was important that the fact she visited me in my dreams had to be secret. So I didn’t tell anyone!”

Scratch what he’d thought before. Calling this plan an insult to stupid things was an insult to things that were insults to stupid things. “great plan,” said Sans. “then how were you gonna find her?”

“I just thought… she’d be there! I thought I’d stumble into her, or she’d meet me. I guess that was really stupid though.”

“no. i’ll tell you what’s stupid. coming to the underground with a pristine soul and leaving with three levels of violence.”

The kid was suddenly silent.

Sans walked up to Toriel and gently took the phone from her. “you must be some kind of class a idiot,” he said into it. “if you’re gonna kill helpless monsters with your powerful human soul, why not go all out? why not a murder spree? wouldn’t that have been more fun? why in the chilly, frigid world did you just let yourself go _a little bit?_ ”

All he got was a hesitant “Um—” before he went on.

“i know asgore didn’t give you much of a choice. he made his choice a long time ago. but why…. why? i can’t believe i’m asking this. i can’t believe these words are gonna come out of my mouth. why did you do it, kid? why, for all that’s holy, did you _kill my only brother?!_ ”

“Sans.” It was like a plea for clemency. “Sans, I’m sorry. You’re right to be angry. He was trying to capture me—I thought he was a bad guy. He was going to bring me to the castle, where I thought I’d die. That’s my only excuse.”

“are you flipping _kidding me?_ capture you? kid, you _let_ him capture you! he stuck you in a cage with bars you could walk right out through. he could have killed you in that fight, and he didn’t. so after that, you _knew_ he wasn’t gonna kill you. if you were paying any attention at all, you would’ve known he was gentle and wouldn’t hurt a soul!”

“He was tough… he hurt me. I was having trouble with his blue attacks, and I’d already lost to him once…”

“i tried to tell you, kid, blue attacks mean _stop._ ”

“I know! But it was hard, and… I was getting sick of fighting him, and I’d already lost to him once… I just… thought I’d start fighting and see what happened.”

“see what…” Sans was flabbergasted with disbelief. "kid, you... you couldn't figure out _any_ other way to get by him? this is papyrus we're talking here. the sweetest, big-heartedest guy you could ever... are you seriously telling me you thought the only way to get past... you could have asked him _nicely_ and he probably would have let you by. you could have told him puns until he fell over cringing. you could have made a puzzle to distract him. you could have even tried flirting. hell, you could have just _lost_ to him two or three more times and he probably would've gotten sick of capturing you and let you go! stars' sake, kid, how could you think the only option was to kill him?"

“I… was dumb. I know that. I guess… it’s just that I was getting frustrated, and I hadn’t killed anything yet, and I was wondering what would happen. So I… so I tried it.”

Sans was momentarily struck speechless. But he got over it, because some things had to be said. “you tried killing. you were curious, so you tried killing. just for a lark. kid, do you have any idea how horrible you sound?”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“and why him? if you were gonna snap and dust somebody, why him? undyne actually tried to kill you, like, for real. and instead of killing _her_ , you gave her water. muffet tried to feed you to her pet, and you _paid_ her for the privilege. toriel tried to keep you in the ruins, and you hugged her for trying. you had a whole humming concert with shyren. mettaton tried to kill you on television _four times._ an army of dogs tried to bring you down. all through the underground, monster after monster attacked you, and you didn’t lift a _finger_ against them. but somehow, out of all the monsters in the underground, out of everyone who stood in your way, the _one_ monster you chose to kill was a guy who went out of his way to design _puzzles_ he thought you’d like. a guy who _cooked_ for you. a guy who shut down his bridge of doom ‘cause it wasn’t sporting. a guy who would have been your friend for life if you’d just _tried_. everyone else gets mercy, and my sweet, sweet brother gets destroyed. where was your mercy then? huh? _where was it then?!_ ”

The child was sobbing audibly now. “I’m sorry,” they said.

“yeah. good,” said Sans. “you be sorry. you just sit on that mountainside, miles away from anyone who’s got the power to kill _you_ without breaking a sweat, and you be sorry. that’ll fix things.”

“Sans!” cried Toriel.

He sighed heavily and held the phone at arm’s length. “someone else talk to this kid. i’m done.”

Toriel retrieved the phone. “I am here, my child.”

There was only crying and wind.

After a while, Toriel frowned.. “I am not going to instruct you not to cry, my child. It may be that your tears are the healthiest tool you possess. And you _have_ done a great wrong. Even so, when you are finished crying, I will be here.”

“hang up the phone,” said Sans. He was slumped on the floor now. Couldn’t she see there wasn’t any point?

“I will _not_ hang up the phone,” she retorted. “My ninth child has called to talk to me, and I will not refuse them.”

Sans felt his darkness compounding. “hang up the phone, tori,” he repeated, more darkly this time.

Her eyes flared at him. “I will not.”

Alphys hurried over to cuddle Sans. Strangely enough, it actually helped. “I-it’s o-okay, Sans,” she assured him. “The call won’t last forever… and the human can’t hurt us… and you don’t have to listen if you don’t want to.”

He knew he didn’t have to listen, but really, he had to listen. “don’t give that murderer the dignity of comfort,” he told Toriel. “comfort is for good people.”

“Comfort is for everyone,” she countered. “Even the sinful.”

The voice blubbered indistinctly over the phone. “I didn’t want to be sinful. I wanted to do the right thing.”

“You know,” reflected Alphys, “Papyrus wasn’t the only monster the human killed. Um.. wh-what about Woshua?”

The blubbering stopped. “Um,” said the child after a while. “Was that the… the one shaped like a bathtub, with a bird floating in it?”

“Yes! He was beneficial to the Waterfall ecology! Why did you kill _him?_ ”

The child took a breath. “Um… I was trying to beat him up so I could spare him, but I hit him too hard by mistake.”

Sans stood up, his eye glowing. “are you kidding me?!”

“It was a mistake! He was attacking me!”

“kid, he just wanted you to wash up. you were a mess by then. you had mud on your ankles, snow on your face, and my brother’s dust all over you.”

“It felt like he was attacking me. I didn’t know. I didn’t know how to communicate with any of the monsters. I didn’t think they’d be so hard to talk to.”

“Was I hard to talk to, my child?” asked Toriel.

“Not at first. But later… when I wanted to move on… I just don’t understand why you had to fight me over it.”

Toriel winced. “In hindsight, I was wrong to. I should not have tested your combat strength… as if _that_ was the best measure of your readiness to wander the Underground. Perhaps I should have destroyed the way out instead, as I originally planned.”

“Then I’d still be stuck there with you!”

“Yes,” said Toriel resolutely. “And I with you.”

Wow. Tori really was amazing, wasn’t she?

A gust of wind, perhaps snow, picked up over the phone. “Is that really what you would have wanted? For me to grow up there, and die there with you, and never see my family again?”

Toriel pressed the phone tightly against her face. “Child, I would have _been_ your family. I know it is not the life you would have wanted. It would not be my choice, either. But I knew that the only alternatives would lead to death.”

In frustration then: “ _Why_ —why wouldn’t Asgore just talk to me? Why wouldn’t he give me the cup of tea he wanted to offer? I told him I wanted the tea! I just wanted to talk things out, and he… he fought me so hard…”

“I do not fully comprehend what came over his heart in the years since I left, my child. The man whom I once loved more than anything must surely have changed a great deal. But I suppose he believed firmly that there was simply no alternative—that one of you must die.”

“But… but that _wasn’t true!_ ” cried the child. “Alphys, you were _wrong!_ ”

Alphys jerked to attention. “Wrong? Wh-what do you mean?”

“You told me I couldn’t pass through the barrier alone! You said I’d have to kill Asgore if I wanted to go free. And I didn’t want to kill him. I was terrified. I was mad you hadn’t told me sooner so I could have gotten used to it. But when I reached the throne room, I thought I was almost ready to do it, if I had to…”

“But you _did_ kill him, my child!” cried Toriel.

“ _No!_ No I didn’t! I fought him until he was weak, and I thought maybe _then_ he’d be willing to talk, but then… someone else killed him! And they destroyed his soul before I could even think about absorbing it.”

All three of them were wide-eyed. Sans remembered standing over a large pile of dust while the walls moaned in agony, thinking, _Yep. Lucky seven’s the charm. They finally got him._

“what are you talking about?” he demanded. “who killed asgore, if not you?”

“…a flower,” said the child. “An evil flower did it.”

_Holy batflip._

Tori and Alphys gasped. Sans thought fast and decided to play dumb. “a flower, huh? you expect us to believe that?”

“It’s _true!_ He was the first creature I met in the Underground… he called himself Flowey the Flower… he said in this world it was ‘kill or be killed.’ I don’t know if he meant the Underground, or the whole world including the surface.”

“ok. sure. so let’s say i buy that,” Sans continued. “why did this flowey the flower kill the big guy?”

“He wanted to… steal the souls of the other children? He killed Asgore, then he took the other souls and turned into a huge, terrible plant monster. Then he… fought me. He nearly killed me… but the souls didn’t want to be in him, and they healed me so I could survive.”

Sans let his grin fall away. “Be honest, kid. Did he _nearly_ kill you, or did he kill you, and you came back?” The question was a calculated risk—hopefully the others wouldn’t think too hard about it.

“What?” asked Alphys.

“…I came back,” said the voice. “He brought me back. He wanted to kill me a million times. I almost thought he was really going to.”

“H-how did you…?”

The child went on. “But then the six souls left him, and he couldn’t defend himself anymore. I hit him and hit him, and they kept healing me… and then they circled around and around him, and the next thing I knew… he was just a flower again, wilting and… and weak, in front of me.”

“And then what did you do, my child?” asked Toriel, nearly breathless.

“I talked to him. And he told me I… that I should kill him. That if I didn’t kill him, he’d come back, just as bad as before.”

Toriel was clutching the phone hard with both hands, as if in prayer. “And… and what did you do, my child? Did you kill him, or did you show him mercy?”

 _Moment of truth for goatmom,_ thought Sans. The child was silent for a long, painful moment.

“I showed him mercy. He ran away.”

Toriel exhaled deeply in relief. Sans did too.

“I thought I’d be trapped, then. But when I went up to the barrier, I passed right through. It was all swimming for a moment, then everything went white, then it went dark again. And then I was back on the mountainside, next to a cave. I ran down the mountain without looking back, and I’m lucky I didn’t fall and break my bones.”

“You… you never absorbed a monster soul?” asked Alphys.

“No. I got through alone. Just like I fell into the Underground alone.”

She wrung her hands. “I wonder what this means.”

“I guess it means whoever told you it takes a human and monster soul together to get back was lying, or wrong,” said the child. “I didn’t have to kill Asgore after all. If he’d just listened… and if he’d just let me try going through on my own… I would have been fine, and he wouldn’t have had to die.”

“B-but he didn’t want to let you through,” said Alphys. “He wanted to kill you, so we’d have the seventh soul we needed to break the barrier, and we could all go free.”

“Are you sure I’d have to die for that? Are you sure we couldn’t have just worked together to break it?”

“I… I think so! I—the legends all say the souls need to be together in a single vessel. And humans can’t absorb other human souls, so someone like Asgore would have to t-take yours. I r-really thought it was you or him. But… if I was wrong about the barrier… then who knows what else the legends might be wrong about!”

“All he had to do was pour a cup of tea,” said the child resentfully. “Then we might have found out.”

“Are you well, my child?” asked Toriel suddenly. “Are you back with your true family?”

“…Yeah. I went back. They don’t know I’m up here now, though. And it’s getting cold, and I’m getting afraid. I should really be going down again.”

“Yes! Please do not endanger yourself on our account, my child. Go back to safety.”

“I will.”

“And thank you for going to so much trouble to call us. I had not imagined it would be so difficult.”

“Yeah. You’re welcome.”

Sans felt the need to say something, even if it was ugly. “hey kid. you know i could never forgive you, right? never ever. not in a million lifetimes.”

“Yeah,” said the voice sadly. “I know.”

“If you ever come up in the mountains again, dress warmly!” called Alphys. “Warmer than you think you need!”

“Okay.”

Toriel sniffled. “Goodbye, my child. It was… it was good to hear your voice.”

“Yours too, Tor… Mom. And, uh… by the way, I’ve got a name.”

She gasped happily. “Will you tell it to us?”

“Yeah. It’s Frisk. I’m called Frisk.”

Toriel’s face wore a silly, baffled smile. “Frisk? Is that truly your name?”

“What kind of a name is that?” asked Alphys.

“A better one than Mew Mew,” said the child.

“That is not truly the name your parents gave you, is it?” Toriel asked.

“Maybe not,” said the child. “But it’s the one I’ve got.”

Toriel’s smile went true. “Very well, then. Take care… Frisk.”

“You too, Mom. Byebye.”

Abruptly, the howl of wind ceased. They stood in silence again.

“Wow,” said Alphys.

“Oh my gracious,” said Toriel. “What a surprise.”

“So… so your son _is_ still alive!” Alphys exclaimed. “You didn’t kill him!”

“No… and neither did the child, thankfully. Oh! I should have asked what happened to the other human souls.”

Alphys slapped her forehead. “You’re right! Oh well… the kid p-probably didn’t know, anyway.”

“And to think! Asgore was done in, in the end, by his own bloodlust. It seemed as though the child… Frisk… was actually hoping to bargain.”

“And brainstorm.”

“And yet Asgore would not be swayed from fighting.”

“Yeah! It’s sad. B-but in a way it’s my fault, because I told the hum—Frisk, that they needed a monster soul to get out again. And apparently it wasn’t true! I wonder whether the magicians who originally created the spell spread d-d-disinformation about it to the monsters, in order to scare them.” She looked tentatively at Toriel. “You… you were alive back then, weren’t you? Do you remember hearing about the spell before it was cast?”

“It was so very long ago… I can remember so little, except that suddenly I knew we would be called on to fight or flee, and that I would be called on to lead…”

“gotta say,” interrupted Sans, who’d been silent since the end of the call. “i wasn’t sure i wanted the kid to call back, and i’m still not sure i’m glad they did. but at least now i know. they didn’t have a reason for killing paps. they really are as terrible as i thought.”

“Sans,” said Toriel. “Is the child _really_ as terrible as all that?”

“killing just to see what happens? just ‘cause they were a little frustrated? yeah, tori. that kid’s a real piece of work.”

“Yes, but! A million lifetimes, Sans?”

He shrugged, not regretting his words one bit. “i feel the way i feel, tori. i won’t tell you how to feel. i just hope they never call again.”

“They seemed pretty broken up about everything,” Alphys observed. “A lot like I was, the other day.”

“they’re broken up, all right.” He brushed past Alphys on his way back to the hallway. But that was a good point—the lizard actually _knew_ how to do repentance. “i’m gonna go lie down a while. let it all sink in.”

“All right, Sans,” said Toriel. “And… and Sans. I am sorry I spoke the way I did earlier. I do not know what came over me. It was unbecoming, and I apologize.”

Like they hadn’t all lost their tempers. “don’t worry about it.” He reached the hallway, then realized something was bugging him. Something unfinished. Something that needed doing, but that he hadn’t been able to do until… until…

Oh. Yeah. “oh, and alphy? i forgive you.”

She straightened herself in shock. “Wh-what?”

“you heard me. don’t make me say it twice. see you later.” With that, he disappeared down the hallway. But he heard the bell clang, three times, from out of nowhere in particular. Like it always did.

He was powered by hatred right now. It felt like a betrayal, to let hatred have its way even a little bit. But it was necessary sometimes. Right now, his hatred for the kid was opening up doors. It made things feel clearer. It made the future seem brighter. And behind him, Alphys and Toriel were holding hands and giggling while looking his way.

As he slipped into his bedroom at the end of the hall, the giggling became full blown laughter, and he caught a glimpse of them dancing awkwardly in a circle, holding hands and stepping around the furniture as if the three bells had been the start of a merry madrigal.

Good. If being forgiven meant that much to a person, it was a pretty sure bet they were worth it.

* * *

 

**GUESS WHAT PART II HAS**

**PART II HAS BONUS SONGS**

**HERE IS ONE:**

* * *

**Carry On, My Child**

(To “Carry On” by fun)  


Well I came upon an evil flower  
His bullets were cutting like fear through the darkness.  
And I found you with a tiny toy knife,  
Your hand in a bandage and heart like a child I once knew

You smiled and said  
"May I call  
May I call you Mom?"  
And I took you as my own  
despite knowing where you're from  
And now you want to leave my care  
And all I ask  
is that you never look back.

If you're lost and alone  
You are welcome here in Home  
Carry on, my child!  
Autumn leaves mark the sound  
Of your feet upon the ground  
Carry on, my child!  
Carry on, my dear one!

So I met up with some friends  
from a long time ago  
At a bar in Snowdin Town  
And we talked and talked  
About which monsters would die  
If a human should come.

But I like to think you will prove them wrong  
To make up for all the children I woke up to find were gone  
I am incomplete  
But I dream sometimes  
That the values I worked so hard to teach  
might survive in just one child!

If you're lost and alone  
And you want to just get home  
Carry on, my child!  
Crunching snow marks the sound  
Of your feet upon the ground  
Carry on, my child!

Ohhhh  
I'm playing with fire!  
But I'm not afraid  
Because you are my child.  
I will step aside from the door  
Nevermore  
will you look  
on my face  
But nobody else can stop you now!

All those specks of light  
are not really stars  
which is fine:  
we never claimed they are.  
If you make a wish  
I will pray for you  
even if your wish and mine  
cannot both come true!

If you're lost and alone  
I will give you my CELL PHONE.  
Carry on, my child!  
Falling rain masks the sound  
Of your feet upon the ground  
Carry on, my child!

Carry on, my dear one.

(Nobody will stop you now!)  
(Nobody... will stop you now!)

Magma plumes mask the sound  
of your feet upon the ground  
Carry on, my child!

(Only ASGORE can stop you now.)

(to outro:)  
Because you are  
You are a shining star  
But remember please  
That you are who you are  
On your darkest day  
So I fear to know  
How many lives you'll end  
Before you find your way home!

[&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neutral Frisk isn’t quite as interesting as pacifist Frisk or genocide Frisk. But here they are, warts and all. Did you expect them to call back? ;)
> 
> This was originally going to be the story’s first scene with an omniscient point of view. But when I revised it, I decided seeing things from Sans’ point of view would be juicier. You’re welcome.


	29. Happiness Blooms

 

[+]

**Scene 29: Happiness Blossoms**

_or_

“Here We Are”  
  


* * *

  
Toriel was seated on an old wooden chair. She felt it creaking under her weight, but for once, she simply didn’t care. If it broke, Alphys would build her another, no doubt in a different style, and better than ever. “Doctor, what would you say to a platter of hot, buttered snails with chives and mushrooms?”

Alphys was sitting in Toriel’s big chair—she’d ended up there after their celebratory romp, and Toriel saw no reason to make her move. The scientist clapped her nimble little hands and perked up. “Ooh, that sounds scrumptious!”

Toriel stood, and the chair groaned but did not give way. “I will make enough for all of us, then, in case Sans decides to get up. If he asks what we are celebrating, we will remind him of his final words. But we will be out of snails for a while. We will have to go hunting tomorrow!”

“I—I could go along and help. I’d, uh… like to know how it’s done.”

“Of course, doctor! And perhaps while we are hunting, you will find a dwelling you like and decide to make it your own!”

“Y-yeah! It’ll be fun! Hey… Toriel?”

Toriel peeked out from the kitchen, leaning on one foot. “Yes, Alphys?”

“Wh-why do you think Sans forgave me? Just… out of the blue like that?”

It was a good question. “I can only imagine it was something to do with the phone call! Perhaps talking with the human child gave him a sense of perspective, and he realized that in comparison with the child, your own guilt is paltry.”

Alphys leapt down from the easy chair and smiled. “Yeah! That must be it. I didn’t know how much it was bothering me.”

Toriel went to the fridge and took out her last tray of snails. “It is certainly good to have Sans’s forgiveness. But I am more delighted to have received the call in the first place. I am not certain why… but it was such a surprise! After so many days, I did not think the child would be calling us back.”

“I wonder if the monster who somehow appeared in their dreams really is the Suzy I knew from the Core,” Alphys speculated. “I wish… I wish I could go back and ask her.”

“Well, we still have our disguises!” Toriel pointed out. “Perhaps such a journey is not impossible. Or you could simply write an anonymous letter and have the spiders deliver it.”

“Yeah, that’s true! I think I’ll do that. Did you.. have any other thoughts about what the child said?”

The story of how her son’s ghost, or whatever he was now, had become a terrifying plant monster seethed in Toriel’s mind. She pushed the painful thought aside, choosing instead to reflect on the child’s name. “Frisk. That is an old word for a dance, or gambol. I wonder why a child of ten would choose it for themselves.”

“M-maybe they like to dance through life? But then again…”

“Perhaps it was this ability to dance through obstacles and encounters that allowed them to escape our realm, when all the others failed,” Toriel mused. “Still. They have stained their soul, and are coming to understand what that means. I am afraid that Frisk may not be doing much gamboling from here out.”

This sobering thought silenced both of them. Still. The child had climbed the mountain again just to apologize. They acknowledged their wrong, and it grieved them. It seemed likely to Toriel that they would be able to move on, in time.

She resumed cooking the snails. “We have a great deal to sift through, I fear. But I, for one, am glad of it. Oh! And do not think I have forgotten that you and Sans are keeping a secret from me!”

Somehow, this fact that had bothered Toriel tremendously only half an hour ago now felt almost like a game. She was living with good people, her dear friends. Any secret would reveal itself eventually, and until it did, if they felt it better to keep her from knowing whatever it was, she would trust them. They valued her happiness, after all.

It was amazing how much tension had been released, just by hearing from the narrow-eyed child! It was silly to think of Frisk as ‘her’ child, she knew. But the fact remained—of the endless stream of human children to pass through her home and care, one had finally made it back to the surface, and had talked to her from there. The chain of destruction was broken!

“I… I can tell you what we were talking about if you really want,” said Alphys from the doorway. “It’s just… I’m afraid it might make you worried, and it’s… it’s so much nicer to see you happy.”

“Is it a matter of urgency, Alphys?”

“I… no, I don’t think so.”

“Then we shall let it wait! I, too, prefer myself happy.” Toriel turned around, showing off her freshly stained apron and putting one foot out to the side. “Tell me, Alphys. Do you find me appealing to look at?”

Alphys breathed in for so long it appeared she had forgotten the second step—breathing out. She held her hands crossed over her chest and couldn’t say a word.

Toriel chuckled and stooped down. “Oh, really! I was barely posing. Do you really find a homely old thing like me attractive? It is such a funny idea, yet I see that it is true!”

“Um!” Alphys pulled herself back from the doorway and peered intermittently between her feet, the doorframe, the ceiling, and occasionally Toriel herself. “Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-what makes you s-s-say that, T-Toriel?”

Toriel tried to keep her smile beneficent, rather than amused. “To begin with, there is the fact that even  _you_ do not normally stutter  _this_ much. Have I made you nervous, Dr. Alphys?”

The reptile’s lower jaw quivered, unable to form sounds at first. “Um… yes?” she peeped.

“Oh, Alphys. I am sorry. But it was very clear to me, when we spoke earlier, that you were not truly enamored with my judge. You were only saying so to humor me. It was not _his_ availability that concerned you, was it? It was mine! Am I correct?”

Alphys hid her face in her hands and squealed in embarrassment. Her tail curled up so far that it rolled itself up her back in a ring. On a whim, and driven by happiness, Toriel took a liberty she would not normally take: she took hold of that wound-up appendage and gently unwound it. Alphys looked back in dismay and watched her.

“There. That is better.” She sat then, crossing her legs loosely. “Alphys?”

The scientist faced her nervously. “Y-y-y-yes?”

“It is all right! We will face this together. We are friends, you and I. And if it so happens that you find me attractive… well!” She tilted her head and let her ears flip. “While I may not be able to reciprocate, I will certainly not hold it against you!”

Redness pervaded the reptile’s face. “Um… um… heheh! Yes, it’s true. I… I have a little bit of a… of a… of a  _tremendous_ crush on you!”

Toriel felt herself blushing as well. She wondered whether it was visible. “That is very flattering, Alphys! Almost as flattering as it is mysterious! If it had not been for your question, and Sans’s intuition when I discussed it with him, I would never have guessed! For it simply seems so strange to me. I am not used to thinking of myself as… desirable.” Except, perhaps, to Asgore, but there was a special bond between those who have grown old together… or in their case, who have failed to do so.

“B—But you _are_ desirable, Tori! It’s… it’s a miracle you’re still single after all these years! You’re beautiful, and you’re s-so kind, and so… and so generous, and so… so _wise_ , and you’re a great cook, and your voice is so perfect, and you’re so tall and woolly and peaceful and funny and you have so much _integrity_ it turns me on just to think about it, and I just want to turn on a tap and stick it in you and let the integrity run out over my body and just _wallow_ in a tub filled with your integrity!”

Oh goodness. Oh goodness gracious. She had not been expecting a reaction like  _this._ “Dear one… I do not know what to say. You are making me feel young again!”

“G-g-good! You _deserve_ to feel young!” Alphys fiddled with the end of her tail now, apparently unsure what to say, or perhaps on the verge of words she was afraid to speak.

Toriel did not know what to say either. She wished she could tell Alphys what she clearly wanted to hear—that Toriel found Alphys equally attractive. But that would be no white lie. It would be a weighty one, capable of great harm, and she could not tell it. But neither could she crush her dear companion’s hopes—not now, not when Sans had just forgiven her. She did not know the gentle way to handle this; to do as a mother so often must and dispense disappointment without bitterness. For Alphys was no child, and it was not Toriel’s place to lecture her on the disappointments of life… And oh! The snails were still cooking!

Toriel got up with a little gasp and tended to the dish—it was fine, aside from a few chives sticking to the bottom of the pan. “Well, doctor. You have succeeded in distracting me, but not for long enough to spoil our meal!”

“B-but!” objected Alphys. “ _You_ distracted _me!_ ”

Toriel looked back as she handled the spatula. “Oh! Yes. I suppose it is my own fault, then.” She extinguished the flames and turned back to Alphys. “I wish… I wish that I could say I am attracted to you as well, Alphys…” she began apologetically.

The poor creature hunched over in what appeared to be shame. “I-it’s all right. I know you don’t feel that way about me, Tori. That’s why I didn’t want to say anything! You deserve someone a lot better than me.”

This would not do. Her lips pressing together, Toriel stooped down and picked Alphys up, managing to be reasonably graceful about it. Alphys went wide-eyed and cried out in surprise, but did not struggle. Toriel held her firmly against her chest.

“I will not let you disparage yourself in my household, Alphys. You are a treasure. An absolute treasure. And while… while it is true that I am not titillated by your appearance, I do find you adorable, and beyond that, fascinating. You are an amazing addition to my life! I would be _lucky_ to deserve someone like you.”

Alphys looked up longingly, her cheeks red once more. “But—but you  _do_ have me! And weren’t  _you_ disparaging yourself a minute ago?”

Well. She had a point! Toriel laughed, and was amused to feel the plump monster in her arms bounce with her laughter. “Still. Mark my words, doctor. I am not saying that you are too good for me. It merely seems that we would be a peculiar match, that is all.”

It seemed that Alphys was overwhelmed by having Toriel hold her. She was afraid to put her hands on Toriel’s robe. “Um, yes, but… but isn’t variety the spice of life? And I’m not saying you should like me… but if you did… well, you were with Asgore for an aw-awfully long time, and, well… I’m about as different from Asgore as you can get!”

Toriel smiled hugely. She could not deny the truth of that. “You are perhaps a  _smidgen_ small for me.”

Alphys smiled with embarrassment, her nose prominent. “I b-barely come up to your belly.”

“And we are both women. Surely that has not escaped you.”

The lizard exuded only excitement. “What’s wrong with women? I think—I think we’re great!”

“But am I not too _old_ for you?” Toriel pled, embracing the absurdity of the situation even as she embraced Alphys herself.

“Well, you only seem maybe f-f-forty-five. And I think age is really attractive, anyway. Every year you’ve lived… means that many more things you’ve learned!”

“And learning excites you, does it, doctor?”

The yellow tail thwapped against Toriel’s hip. “O-o-of course! If learning didn’t excite me… well, what would?”

This was refreshing indeed. “In that case, my sweet one, you are  _indeed_ rather different from Asgore.”

“But… but not _all_ in a bad way, right?”

Toriel gently shook her head. “Not at all in a bad way. You and he are simply different… just as you and I are different.”

Alphys looked up with hope. “Do you think… do you think maybe you could  _learn_ to love me?”

On some level, it was simply not possible. “Oh, Alphys. It is not that there is anything wrong with you! I am simply not available!”

“B-but.. you’re not seeing anyone, are you?”

“I am not. But my husband still dwells in my heart, dear one. And my heart will never be without him.”

Alphys cuddled her head against Toriel’s chest. “I don’t want to make him move out. I just want to move in!” she murmured.

“Oh doctor! You are so…” Silly? Foolish? “Childlike at times.”

“It’s interesting to h-hear you say that. I was never really good at being a child. Maybe it took me a-all this time to get the hang of it! M-maybe in another twenty or thirty years, I’ll figure out how to be a grown-up!”

Toriel laughed. “Would you like me to put you down, doctor?”

The yellow arms hugged her boldly now, snail juice on her apron notwithstanding. “Oh, you don’t have to do that! I kind of like it here.”

Toriel chuckled and walked into the living room, bearing her companion on her belly. “In that case, would you like to sit in the easy chair with me?”

She looked up shyly. “Yes! Yes I would!”

So Toriel sat. And as she sat, she held the much smaller monster on her lap, against her breasts, and peered at her. She was trying to imagine the idea of loving this person—not in the sense of the love borne for a dear friend, but of the deep love reserved for a spouse or a constant companion. It was not an easy thing to imagine, but it was not incredibly difficult, either. The cute bucktoothed smile—the receding headspikes—the small, earnest arms—Toriel could conceive of coming to love these things. Whether it was wise to do so, she doubted, but she knew that if she wished to love Doctor Alphys… it was an option open to her. It was not as impossible an idea as it had seemed at first. Relationships, after all, were cultivated, not discovered.

“I… I’m afraid to say anything, in case you decide to put me down,” murmured Alphys.

Toriel let her hand drift slowly down her companion’s back. “I am pleased to remain here for now. But may I at least remove the apron? You will stain your delightful little face!”

Alphys lifted her head. “Oh! Yes, please! Do… do you really think my face is delightful?”

Toriel clucked her tongue against her teeth. “Shhhhh. Let us simply sit.” She let herself relax, and felt Alphys relaxing against her, and remembered sitting like this with Emma, the sweetest of her children, long ago. With Alphys on her lap like this, it was easy for Toriel to imagine that she again had a child. But then, Alphys was no child, was she? She was a would-be lover. How very strange a thought! A potential lover with a child’s shape and temperament!

But then again, Alphys could do things that Toriel knew no child was capable of. She envisioned this lump of scales on her lap putting together a turbine to seize the wind and bring electricity to her home. She pondered the notion that the chubby thing resting upon her belly might someday build a machine to detect souls hiding in the aether, and thus lead monsterkind to freedom. The key to her people’s future might well be seated right here in this round little frame that Toriel was currently supporting. And she was making her happy. Toriel was making the Royal Scientist happy. She could not describe how ebullient that idea made her. She felt like a mother again, albeit less so… yet also more so. For on this moment on this special day, Toriel felt like a lover again. And there was little, if anything, as satisfying as dispensing unconditional love.

* * *

As the barroom drama that had turned out to be a dream faded from cogence, or at least from relevance, Sans found himself staring at the familiar ceiling of the child’s bedroom. Yep, he was still here. Yep, he’d been asleep, and that affair from the golden age of Grillby’s had just been a bunch of scrambled memories, served to him a la carte. And—a pang he’d felt a couple dozen times now—yep, Papyrus was really gone. That was real life, and it would stay that way, no matter how many more times he fell asleep.

Sans spent a minute coming to terms with this as far as he knew how, which wasn’t much. Then he spent another minute or two grappling with what they’d learned about dust and determination. ‘Essence’—that was what they called whatever it was that formed the personality of a monster—it apparently persisted in the dust you crumbled into when you died. And if they put it on something… it got imbued with your essence. For real. No stories, no wishful thinking, no kidding.

Where was Papyrus now, he wondered? What was left of him, without his soul? Did he still hear or feel things, wherever he was? Did he know what Sans was going through? Was there… maybe, just possibly, some chance he could come back someday?

Maybe for someone other than Sans. Maybe Undyne would someday get to train Papyrus again, if she realized how special she was. But Sans would never get to hear that voice again.

Yet there were other things worth living for, weren’t there? Like the happiness of other people, for example. The riverman had reminded him of that. And that meant helping Tori and, yes, Alphys along in their projects, however he could.

He lay there a long moment before asking himself:  _So what comes next?_ Oh right—Alphys needed a home of her own. She needed someplace to start rebuilding from. And that would have the happy side effect of getting her out of Toriel’s wool, so that Sans could get back to figuring out how to cheer her up. He’d have to go and spy on Undyne some more, of course. Maybe deliver some messages back and forth if Toriel wanted to stay in touch with the empress. But chances were, what Tori needed most was just a listening ear and time to process everything that’d gone wrong. Sans could give her that. He just hoped it was enough.

Well, enough moping. It wasn’t even morning, was it? This was just an afternoon nap. So, with a heavy sigh, he rolled out of bed and slumped against the side of it. He stood up, joints cracking, and rolled his back to stretch it. Then he peered at the children’s things around the room. Strange place to be sleeping these days.

Still, he had to admit he liked the way the background music changed when he turned the lamp on and off. Not that anyone else could hear background music—Toriel might not even know.

Pulling on his hoodie, Sans wandered out into the hall. He heard voices, but they weren’t coming from the foyer or living room, like he might expect. Then where were—oh. They were coming from Toriel’s bedroom. What were the girls doing in there?

He ambled over to the door and put his face up to it. Time was, he’d just put his ear against a door if he wanted to hear through it. But it was better to put your face on late-regenerating half cycles and stick it  _through_ the door, if you knew how. That way you could see  _and_ hear what was going on, and you’d only be noticed if somebody was trying.

They were both in there. Toriel was on her bed, feet just touching the floor. Alphys was sitting on the carpet, watching her. And Tori’s focus was on all Alphys—she was beaming, even.

“You are _very_ good,” she said at last.

It seemed to make Alphys panic. “B-but Toriel… but Toriel, y-YOU are very good!”

Tori lifted a hand to her mouth in shock. “Oh, Alphys,  _you_ are very good!”

“Um… no,” the lizard decided. “ _You_ are very good.”

“No, my child,” said Toriel, “you are very good.”

“But—but!” said Alphys, curving her tail and pointing her finger. “ _You_ are very good!”

Sans pulled away from the door and stared at it for a while. “heh,” he said aloud.

Then he wandered into the kitchen and found a half-cooked pan of snails and mushrooms on the range. Looked like Tori’d had to leave in a hurry, yet there they were, playing some kind of game. Didn’t take a genius to put things together. Sans picked up a slightly soggy snail and put it down, letting it turn to energy in his ribcage. Then, with a sigh, he turned on the heat to finish cooking the meal.

Ten minutes later, the grub was done. Sans carried the pan out just in time to hear Toriel’s door open. He hustled to get some plates and re-entered the living room at an amble. The ladies were just coming in.

“Oh! Sans! You have finished my cooking!” exclaimed Toriel.

“yep. looked like you got distracted by something, so i figured i’d pitch in.”

Toriel held her hands together, embarrassed. “Thank you very much, Sans. It smells heavenly. I hope you found your nap satisfying?”

He started dishing snails and passing out loaded plates. “oh, it was pretty decent. not in the top hundred, so far as naps go. but it got the job done.”

Alphys was grinning, unable to contain herself. “Well, I’m glad if you’re feeling better. I—I’m feeling a  _lot_ better! I can’t believe just a couple hours ago, we were s-sitting here yelling at each other.”

“life’s funny that way, huh?” Sans took his seat. “bone appetit.”

“Bone appetit yourself,” said Toriel, grinning. She took an indulgently big bite and savored the snails in her mouth.

Alphys’s tail tip was up, swaying just a little behind the back of her chair. The top button of her labcoat was undone. Her scales seemed a brighter shade of yellow than usual. Toriel’s wool seemed to be gleaming, and she held her knuckles in her fingers while she was chewing, like she needed a place for her energy to go.

Welp. Sometimes everything reads like Wing Dings, but other times, you see the writing on the wall.

“so i’ve been thinking,” said Sans. “there’s three bedrooms here, right? and there’s three of us. so maybe alph here doesn’t really need her own place. she could just stay here with us.”

The two of them exchanged a surprised glance, then looked at Sans. “B-but… are you sure that would be all right?” Alphys asked.

Sans shrugged, taking a bite. “seems kinda silly to make you move out when it’s pretty much just the three of us out here. and i was thinking… that kid’s bedroom doesn’t really suit me. maybe i should take the room at the end of the hall and make it my own. then you could have the kid’s room, al. i figure you’d probably like it better.”

Alphys scratched her cheek! “Oh! Um, well, m-maybe I would!”

“i don’t mind starting from scratch. i prefer it, really. in fact, maybe i should be the one moving out. there’s a lot of old, moldy buildings out there in the ruins of the city. probably there’s at least one that’d speak to me.”

Toriel knitted her brows. “This is all so sudden, Sans!”

He shrugged. “sometimes you just get a wake-up call. anyway, i just want you to be happy, tori. if you’re happy, then i am too.”

Alphys dropped her fingers on the table and looked nervously at Toriel. The boss monster flicked her ears meaningfully.

“W-well, Sans,” said Alphys, “I want you to be happy too. And I think it’s really nice the way we’re all together right now. I n-never dreamed things would be this nice, um, just a couple weeks ago. I thought everything… everything was lost! B-but it wasn’t. It really wasn’t. I just lost a few things, but I f-found a few new things, too… and—and it just goes to show you!”

“yeah,” said Sans. “it just goes to show you.”

“So… so why don’t we all keep living here, in this cozy house, for a while and s-s-see how it goes! I mean… maybe we’ll get sick of each other, but it hasn’t happened yet, right?”

“nah,” Sans agreed. “tell the truth, i’m just starting to get fond of you.”

“Well then,” said Toriel, placing her hands meaningfully on the table. “Here we are.”

“Here we are,” agreed Alphys.

“just a little happy family,” said Sans. He lifted his water glass. “wish we had some root beer so we could drink a proper toast.”

Toriel smirked. “I think I can help you there, Sans. One thing the Underground possesses in abundance… is roots!”

Alphys laughed. “And I just pulled mine up!”

“i’m hoping i can set some down,” put in Sans.

“We have all been a bit uprooted,” said Toriel. “But tomorrow we will collect snails and sassafras root, and we will build up our larder. I am hopeful that we will also build up our love for each other.” She raised her water glass. “To our happy family.”

“To a happy family!” toasted Alphys, raising her own glass.

They clinked glasses and drank. It was just water, but it was some of the sweetest water Sans could remember ever having.

Who knew it would be so easy to make Toriel happy? All it took was somebody who wasn’t him.

* * *

 

**HERE HAVE ANOTHER BONUS SONG**

With apologies to Griffinilla:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWJUDYCU54Q

**Woolly Love**

ALPHYS:  
Ooo, the hottest thing in the Ruins!  
You’re what I’ve been dreaming of, got a case of woolly love!  
When we play, we never care who wins!  
You’re as peaceful as a dove, got a case of woolly love!

Does she know that I adore her?  
Would she think I’m too young for her?  
Because I’m still in my twenties  
And she’s in her late four thousands—!

_(awkward pause)_

Maybe she’ll teach me her baking…  
I’ll teach her video gaming!  
It’s really kind of the same thing…

And later on,  
When I couldn’t take any more, she’d  
tuck me in and tell me a story—  
Oh my god, I’m crushing on Tori!  
Oh did I say that out—  
No, did I say that out loud?

Ooo, you’re like a bed to my pillow!  
You’re what I’ve been dreaming of, got a case of woolly love!  
Ooo, you’re like a giant marshmallow  
Bursting with integrity! You’ve got so much more than me.

_(dance break)_

Does she know that I adore her?  
Would she think I’m too young for her?  
Because I’m still in my twenties  
And she’s in her late four thousands!  
Maybe she’ll teach me her baking…  
I’ll teach her video gaming!  
It’s kinda sorta the same thing…

And later on,  
When I couldn’t take any more, she’d  
tuck me in and tell me a story—  
Oh my god, I’m crushing on Tori!

TORIEL:  
Alphys, you make me so—  
Alphys, you make me so proud!  
Yooou used to think you were a sinner!  
But it was only SIN-amon!

ALPHYS:  
That was such an awful pun.  
Toriel, how long have you been standing there?!

TORIEL:  
I was crouched behind the chair.

ALPHYS:  
Okay, that just isn’t fair.

TORIEL:  
Yooou are like dessert after dinner!

ALPHYS:  
I’m like putty in your hands!

TORIEL:  
What do you think of that, Sans?

SANS:  
well, i guess that means that you should shape her.

TORIEL:  
…Let us gather for a hug!

ALPHYS:  
Got a case of woolly love!

[++++++++++++++++++&&&&&&&&&&&] 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What—did you expect me -not- to ship my titular characters? ;-)
> 
> You won’t learn the truth about Frisk’s name in this story, so I’ll just tell you. As an eight-year-old in school, Frisk started to learn about gender roles as they apply to how children relate to each other. They saw boys being violent to each other because they were boys, and this drew them more toward the company of girls, until they proved to be just as bad under the surface through means of social exclusion. In frustration, Frisk decided to give up gender entirely. Their birth name was clearly gendered, so they had to pick a new one. ‘Frisk’ wasn’t their choice because it was a kind of dance, though… nor is it short for ‘frisky’ (though it -will- be if I ever write a pacifist Frisk story, and I wrote an explanation for that, too). Rather, it’s a combination of ‘fresh’ and ‘brisk’, which is how they like the outdoors. If people wouldn’t be good, Frisk decided the great outdoors might be better, which is how they wound up willing to walk all the way up a mountain path at the age of ten.


	30. Knowing That One Day the Mouse May Develop Agricultural Techniques and Be Able to Craft Its Own Cheese… It Fills You with Determination

 

[+]

**Scene 30: Knowing That One Day the Mouse May Develop Agricultural Techniques and Be Able to Craft Its Own Cheese… It Fills You with Determination**

_or_

“Pathetic House”  
  


* * *

  
“Suzy!”

“Yes?”

“Suzy Creamcheese, what’s got into you?”

Was this it? Did he somehow know? Or was this just about some random mess she’d made? She didn’t know what to hope for. “What do you mean, Dad?” she replied, trying to be chipper rather than irritated.

Llewyn’s head appeared through the floor crack leading into her cavity. His fingers gripped the edge of the floor; then his tail appeared, wrapped around a folded piece of paper. “I’ve just had a letter from the spider queen. She’s been in touch with the queen-in-exile. Probably a queen thing, keeping in touch. Apparently the queen-in-exile’s had a telephone call from the surface.”

He stared expectantly at her, and despite her sudden fear, she gave him her best wide-eyed face, a mix of innocence and unabashed optimism. “From whom?”

“Are you sure you can’t guess, girl? From the rampaging human! Anything you might happen to know about that?”

So this  _was_ it. Suzy had really thought she’d gotten away with it, but no! No rest for the wicked. “A phone call! From past the barrier? That’s never happened before, has it?”

“Not to my knowledge,” said her father gruffly. “The question stands. Anything you might know about it?”

She slipped off her bed and let her tail lie flat over its surface. “Was the phone call about me?” she asked in an innocent voice, inclining her head coyly.

Dad pulled himself up through the crack and took the letter roughly in his hand. “And why, exactly, would it be about you?”

He wasn’t going to let up. Time to bite the bullet and win her dad over with charm. “Because I’ve been talking to them! At night, in our dreams! Dad, I’ve been studying adluminology, you know that, and I worked out a way to slip through the barrier! You know when we dream we send out tendrils from our souls, right? And you know what Aunt Hafgan used to say—‘They’ve yet to invent a wall without cracks!’”

His face was… aghast was the word for it, she thought. Whiskers trembling. “Suzy. Answer me straight. Did the human come to the Underground because of you?”

Suzy knew she was on thin ice, but she had to stay positive. “Yep! It didn’t work out, and I know it didn’t work out, but think of this, Daddy, just think of this—if King Asgore  _had_ defeated them, we’d be free now! We’d be talking about moving to the surface, and making peace!”

She saw emotions barreling through him too fast for him to control. Poor daddy! Before he could stop himself, he roared at her in a way no mouse should ever try to roar. “ _Suzy Creamcheese!_ You brought chaos to the Underground—now we have an intemperate empress for a ruler instead of a sober king—and the souls lost, and the kingdom divided—!” But it came out uneven and croaky—her father just wasn’t a shouter.

“But it could have gone so much better!” she replied. “I’m trying to look on the bright side, Daddy. If it had worked, I would have been the liberator of our kind! Well, me and King Asgore. I’ve managed to etch myself into history, and I’m proud of that, Daddy, very proud. I’d be prouder if it had worked, but is it really my fault that it didn’t? If you’d heard that a seventh child had fallen into the Underground, just like the other six, what would your first thought have been? ‘Oh no, I hope it doesn’t kill the king?’ No, you’d probably have been hopeful and on tippytoes, expecting Asgore or the guards to defeat it and claim their seventh soul! No one would have expected it to happen this way!”

“And so you’re proud of the ill you’ve wrought,” nodded her father grimly. “Well, you really are a special girl. Proud of malice. Proud of harm. Are you even grieved by what’s happened, Suzy? Does it even affect you?”

She grew quiet. “It does affect me, Daddy. I was devastated too when I heard what happened. And I was devastated that the people rejected the rightful queen. But people will do what they do, Daddy, and we can only try to do best ourselves. I’ve been trying to keep that in mind. Chin up, pace swift, and all that!”

“And yet thanks to you,” said her father. “Thanks to your… incompetent meddling, your shameless deeds… not only have we lost a good king, but the kingdom lost a great mind.”

“ _Don’t remind me!_ ” Suzy burst out. Oops—she’d been trying not to shout. Stay positive, Suzy. “I know, Dad. I know. I was broken apart over that too. You know I was. You saw me on the rooftop, crying.”

“She was my friend once.”

“I know she was! But when was the last time you talked to her, Dad? I was talking to her two or three times a week before it all happened, even if I had to make up excuses. I wasn’t really friends with Alphys, but I was more a friend to her than you were in the end! Why didn’t you visit her? Why did you have to abandon her?”

He crinkled the letter threateningly, clenching his fist as if to strike her. “Don’t… don’t you  _dare_ talk to me like that, Suzy Creamcheese. You may have dished with Alphys, but you were careless, and now she’s gone!  _Why didn’t you tell me you were dreaming through the barrier!?_ ”

Trouble now, but she stood up tall. “I wanted it to be a surprise! And I knew you’d tell me to stop—you would have, wouldn’t you?—and I didn’t want to have to go against your wishes. Think about it… in the long run, it’s a good thing, Daddy! I did it once—I convinced a human child to climb the mountain and come to us, and I could do it again! And if not me, someone else could. I could teach them. We’ve got a way to communicate through the barrier, and we’ve been after that for  _ages!_ This is huge, Daddy; please look on the bright side. Please.”

He steamed, standing in place. Then he laid the letter on the chunk of plaster that served as her nightstand and straightened it out, fighting to control his anger. “Well. Daughter. You found a crack no one else knew about, but unlike a good mouse, you told  _no one_ about it. And now the monarchy is toppled, and the greatest genius of our time has killed herself. Thanks to you.” He reached in his vest and produced another letter, a scroll tied with a ribbon. “The Underground doesn’t have Alphys to look to anymore. Now it has you.” He flung the scroll into Suzy’s lap. “Congratulations.”

Her father had never spoken to her so coldly. But. Ears quivering, she pulled the ribbon loose and opened the scroll.  _After a lengthy, frustrating and arduous application process, the Empress has finally made her selection to fill the open post of Royal Scientist. Congratulations, Miss Creamcheese—the job is yours. Please report to…_

Oh god oh god oh god, she’d  _done_ it!! The whole ridiculous thing on Mettaton’s show had been worth it—it had actually paid off! Suzy felt her tailtip flipping back and forth with excitement. She was only eighteen and the new Royal Scientist—about to fill the position her father had dreamed of, but never gotten—this was insane! The competition must have been  _really_ thin. But talent was never spread thin in the Creamcheese family—like Aunt Hafgan used to say.

Suzy dared to stand up and hug her father lightly around the neck, standing on tiptoes to reach. He was more angry at her than he’d maybe ever been, but he must have been proud, too, he  _must_ have. “You know,” she murmured, “you could have had it yourself. If  _I_ could get the job, I’m sure Undyne would have taken you in a heartbeat.”

“I know,” he rumbled. His hands went to pat her, harsh but sincere. “But I’d rather be forgotten forever than set foot in that laboratory again. Or any lab. I pray—I pray nothing happens to you like happened to W. D. Gaster. I’d keep you here, if I thought I could.”

She kissed him. She couldn’t not when he said something like that. “I’ll be safe.”

“I wish I could trust you, but you weren’t safe with the kingdom, were you?” He pulled away and faced her. What he was feeling? Disbelief? “Most little girls, when they make mistakes, ruin a dress or break a heart… or at worst, get themselves in the family way. But my girl?” He shook his head. “Be _careful_ , Suzy. The kingdom will look to you now.”

In a sense, he was right. They didn’t have the six souls and Asgore’s plan anymore, so they desperately needed somewhere else to look for hope. For some monsters, Undyne and her angry determination were enough. But others knew that it took more than strength to break a magical barrier, more than anger to run a kingdom. A lot of them would be pinning their hopes on the royal scientist. Was Suzy ready for it? “I’ll be careful, Daddy.”

“And you know Muffet will spread the word about your nighttime escapades if you don’t confess. You’ll have to admit to the public what you’ve done.”

Her breath caught. She would, wouldn’t she? Soon, everyone would know the child had come because of  _her._ And once again, the royal scientist would be an object of fear, not just hope. She was going to have to be a living contradiction. “Don’t worry, Daddy. I will. I’ll stand tall and take responsibility.”

“It may be Undyne fires you when she finds out. Be prepared for that, just in case.”

She swallowed. That was true. This was going to be tricky. “I will. Maybe I’ll write to Muffet, and see if she’ll let me settle in before going public.”

“Good thought. But for now, girl, you’d better pack up your things. The Empress wants to see you tomorrow morning.”

Suzy looked at the scroll again. “Oh gosh! She does! I’ve got to get ready. I can’t believe this is really—” Then she stilled herself, a thought striking her. “You’ll be all right on your own, won’t you, Daddy?”

He sighed deeply. “I’ve wanted nothing more than to be alone ever since that terrible day.” The day Gaster died, he meant. Sometimes he called it the day of a thousand fragments. “Yet just the same, I mourned the loss of your mother, and your aunt, and in a quiet sort of way, I’ll mourn your absence too.”

She stepped up and squeezed him tight, wrapping her tail around him. “Oh, Daddy!”

He held her back. “And I still have the Gridleys to keep me company. In case I grow lonely.”

Well, that was the advantage of living in the walls of someone else’s house, wasn’t it? You always have neighbors if you need them. “I’m sure they’ll be very kind to you. And Mrs. Clamydia will keep stopping by to check on you, I’m sure.”

“You’ll write,” he commanded. “Every day, at first, until you’re settled. And you’ll visit when you get a chance.”

“I will,” said Suzy, and meant it. “I won’t forget you, Daddy. I’ll do my very best to bring hope back to this home.”

“Good,” he said. “The monsters _need_ hope. They need it more than I do.”

She bounced on her toes. “Then I’ll look for it until I find it!” She kissed him again. “Thank you for not being  _too_ mad. I know you wanted to be. I should put together an overnight bag!”

“I’ll leave you to it,” said her father. “Don’t leave without saying goodbye.”

“Oh, Daddy, I wouldn’t _dream_ of it!”

He went down again, and Suzy was left wondering a hundred things. Was she really the best the Kingdom of Monsters had left when it came to science? Was it all really up to her? When it came to technical solutions, she was barely a fraction of what Alphys had been. She wondered what secrets the old scientist had left behind, but was afraid to look through her things because of the sorrow and guilt she knew it would awaken. Suzy’s hero was dead, in no small part due to Suzy’s foolishness. But was it really foolishness? Or had it just been bad luck? It was really hard to piece those apart—harder than Suzy would ever have expected before the king’s death had made everything fall to pieces.

But Suzy knew guilt wouldn’t fuel the recovery of a people. Guilt might grease the wheels, but it was hard work and hope that would  _turn_ them. And that hard work and hope was going to have to come from her heart. Did she have enough in it?

She was going to have to steel herself like she’d never steeled herself before. And that meant facing her fears. So, after she packed her bag tonight, Suzy decided she was going to face the first of those fears head on. She was going to reach out and talk to the human again in her dreams.

And she was going to explain herself.

[~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~]

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I was originally going to call this character Suzy “Sissy” Carmichael, but then I discovered that the name is taken: Susie Carmichael is the black baby on Rugrats. Not exactly a great fit! I tried alternate surnames—Cunningham, Callahan—but they weren’t speaking to me. Then I realized that there was a more appropriate Suzy C. out there for the taking!
> 
> In case you’re not aware of Suzy’s connection to the game… there’s a rarely appearing character called Clamgirl in Waterfall who tells you that her neighbor’s daughter is called Suzy and gives you a “neighbor’s blessing” to become friends. In the patch, a line was added: “In life's grand scheme, she might be why you came here in the first place...”
> 
> Suzy is kind of a new character, but we did see her on TV in Scene 25, and we even saw her photograph in Scene 21. I’m curious: Did anyone make the connection to Clamgirl’s Suzy way back then? =)


	31. Will the Walls Come Down?

 

[+]

**Scene 31: Will the Walls Come Down?**

_or_

“Ruins”  


* * *

 

> Dear Arachnamate,
> 
> I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me. It’s all right if you don’t. There’s a lot about me that doesn’t bear forgiving. But I thought you’d want to know I was alive. I won’t make you wait for the signature at the bottom—it’s me, Alphys. I’m here in the Ruins! I know they told you I jumped into the waterfall and died, and I know you suffered, and I’m so sorry. But I’m still here! I’m still part of the world, and I’m trying to make things better again. Can you believe it? I’m building things again, and I feel light, and full of wonder, and all it took was giving up everything I had and going to the brink. I gave up everything I had except for myself, and I stood on the brink, and I asked myself—do I really want it to end? Do I really want this to be the last page? And the answer… I’m crying as I write this… the answer was no, Arachnamate. I didn’t it to be over. And that’s because of you, Arachnamate. You saved my life. You showed me love at the end, and because I had that love to think of, I didn’t want it to be over. I knew I wouldn’t have that love again, but just the fact that kind of love was in the world, somewhere, made me not want to leave. If it hadn’t been for you, Arachnamate, I would have killed myself. I’m happy now, and I’m hopeful, and I owe it all to you. Everything from that day to the end, I owe to you.
> 
> I hope you’re happy back in the lair. I hope it hasn’t been too hard, being reminded of all the things you can’t do anymore. I hope the other spiders have reminded you of all the ways you’re unique and special. I mean, you’ve got more legs than maybe anyone else in the world! That all by itself is pretty amazing. And you’ve got a really special singing voice… I hope you get to sing for the other spiders sometimes. And I hope they appreciate it.
> 
> I’m sorry for keeping you in my lab so long even though I didn’t have any way to help you. I shouldn’t have done it. You were right to call me a coward. If there’d been a cowardice contest, I would have won. I hurt a lot of people and I was too afraid to stop. But when it came down to the last step in the cowardice train… I didn’t jump. I didn’t jump. I’m so happy I didn’t jump, Arachnamate. I’m so happy I’m still here. Thank you. Thank you so much, for everything.
> 
> Please don’t tell anyone where I am. If I’m going to rebuild, I have stay on the outside. I’m not strong enough to rejoin the world yet. I’m not sure I ever will be. I’m about to start rebuilding the ancient city where monsters used to live, but before I can start building, I have to tear parts of it down. I need metal to make tools, and I need tools to rebuild! It’s kind of funny, but sometimes you have to tear something down to the bare bones before you can put it back together again. You were made from thousands of spiders who fell down, but got back up again, so I know you’ll understand.
> 
> Thank you. Thank you. Forever, thank you.
> 
> -Alphys

 

* * *

Up went the paddle, a little at a time. The hooks were holding, but the rope was slipping from one—these hooks weren’t made to be pulleys! Gritting her teeth and holding on with one hand, Alphys reached out and adjusted the rope, jerking it off the hook’s point and into its bend. She grabbed the rope’s end again with both hands and heaved back, her tail pushing against the floor for stability. Up! Pull! The board with the lower hook rose closer to the ceiling, and the paddle rose high enough at last. Trying to keep her breathing under control, Alphys swung the assembly slowly counterclockwise until the paddle was over the lever. She peered, trying to line it up perfectly, and felt burn in her muscles as she tried to stabilize the paddle’s swing. Above the lever handle… center it… center it… there! Now or never! She let go of the rope, watched her makeshift pulley unwind, and saw the huge weighted paddle she’d built smash into the lever, cracking the wall of the ruined tower. The wall crumbled loudly, falling away in massive chunks, and Alphys cavorted and laughed with excitement.

As the dust cleared from the wreckage, Sans was there, hands in pockets, facing her with an amiable grin. How had he—? Alphys gaped at him before deciding it didn’t matter. “Sans! I got the wall down! It’s a big, jumbled, crumbled mess! I’m going to be able to pick it apart for iron and tin, and I can use the stones… you know, you really shouldn’t stand on that side of a falling wall, you c-could have been hurt!”

“i’m pretty good at staying clear. so, all this destruction for a few scraps of metal, huh?”

“W-well, yes! Metal is what I need right now… without metal, I can’t make much of anything else!” Toriel had given her the gold bracer she’d been wearing when she went into exile, but Alphys would be saving that to make non-corrosive electrical contact points. As for iron and tin, the metal fixings around the cornerstones, window frames and sconces were pretty much the only good source in the whole city, aside from the sewage grates, which she’d decided to leave in place. Well, and the spikes. But she wasn’t ready to go messing around with the spike traps just yet.

“it’s all about the metal, huh? so what’s so great about metal?”

“Uh… w-well..” It was nice being asked about technology stuff, even if it was just idle curiosity. Sans only seemed to have two kinds of curiosity—idle and weirdly specific. “It’s m-mainly that metal doesn’t break! You can bend it, or stretch it, o-or flatten it, but you can’t… you can’t break it by mistake! That means you can make metal into pretty much whatever shape you want.”

“must be nice not to be breakable. i think maybe papyrus was like that.”

Alphys winced—was he here to guilt her over Papyrus again? Not that she didn’t deserve it, but she didn’t want that sort of pain right now—she was still excited from her triumph over the wall! “Oh… I guess… I guess maybe he was? I don’t know how well the principles of mineral tenacity ap-pply to monsters..”

“probably not too well. still. something to think about.” He slouched, looking up at a nearby spire. Then he seemed to notice her expression. “oh. sorry, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. you want any help?”

“Um… well, I suppose maybe I could use a little more muscle power when it comes time to topple the next wall, or m-move a big chunk of stone.” She held her arms self-consciously together at chest level. “I’m… not very strong…”

“you took out a huge wall. maybe you don’t have the biggest muscles, but there’s different kinds of strength.” He stood and flexed a bare, bony arm.

Should she say it? “Um… y-you don’t have any muscles at all,” Alphys pointed out.

“nope. i move through pure magic. which means i’ve got some weaknesses. on the other hand, though.” He stood firmly and concentrated on one of the tower’s remaining walls. A huge white magical bone came hurtling past Alphys, making her shriek, and smashed into the masonry, unsettling it with an echoing rumble. The wall slumped, then collapsed away from Alphys. She watched in amazement.

“being powered by magic has its upsides, too.”

She was in a tizzy for a moment. What was she doing fooling with pulleys and levers, if he could do that? “Uh—you—could you—uh—what—would you—do you think you could help me topple some of these ruins? I-if you have that much power! It’d… it’d make things much easier for me!”

The skeleton shrugged. “i can pitch in a little.”

“Um. Wow! I didn’t… I didn’t realize you were that strong!” She blinked several times. “I’m going to.. I’m going to have to rethink my whole approach!”

“now, if i do that too many times, i’ll get pooped. might have to lie down for a while. could be out _stone_ cold.”

Was that a pun? What was the proper way to respond to a pun? Should she take it seriously, or… dismiss what he said, or… “Um… I guess then I’d have to… have to pull up… some silic-y smooth sheets?”

His eye narrowed slightly on one side, and a crack appeared that wasn’t usually there.

Alphys fretted—that had been wrong. “Um… like… silica? The compound that makes glassy volcanic rocks, um, siliceous? I figured they’re smooth enough to be like… sheets… that you might use to tuck you in… if you, um…”

Sans’s puzzled scowl twisted into a conspiratorial smile. “whoa. you mean that was a pun? i didn’t even realize. nice work, alphys. you got one by me.”

Alphys grinned. Wait. Puns weren’t supposed to be… you weren’t supposed to ‘get them by’ someone. They were supposed to… oh, well. She’d take it! “Heh… so… if you really are willing to help, then, um… well, can I come and get you when I’m ready to take down another wall? Or…”

“yeah, sure.” He was relaxed again as he wandered through the field of stony debris. “but i can hang out a while if you like. thought you might want to know i brought that machine back.”

Alphys suddenly felt like stone herself. “The… the dark light machine?”

“yep. you ok?”

Alphys stopped herself from chattering her teeth. “Um… yeah. I’m okay. I just… I don’t think I’m ready to… jump back in on that. It was… well, I don’t really like remembering that day.”

He walked her way. “hey. that’s okay. forget i mentioned it. i can see you’re busy, anyway.”

“W-well, there’s a lot to do! I left all my equipment behind… I’ve got to start from scratch. And most technology is made from… other technology. Aheh. It’s going to take a long time to build my way back up.”

“you know i can go and haul stuff for you, right?”

Alphys hesitated. She’d thought of that, but… “But what about the next royal scientist? They might already be there, using everything… plus, I listed all my machines in my notes, so they’ll know if anything’s missing…”

He shrugged. “maybe we can reach an arrangement.”

“Wh… what kind of arrangement?”

“word in grillby’s is, your pal suzy is the new royal scientist.”

This struck Alphys like a… well, like a piece of crumbled masonry. Suzy? The new scientist? At her age? “Wow. Really? I s-still think of her as a child.”

“they said she was young, yeah. eighteen, i think.”

“Oh, she must be so nervous. I was nervous when I started!” Alphys had been seventeen when Gaster had hired her, but she’d only been an assistant!

The skeleton winked. “maybe i could offer some help. i could swear her to secrecy and let her know you’re still around.”

Oh no. This is how things would go wrong. “I—I can’t let anyone on the outside know I’m still alive. When I came here, I just wanted to escape…”

“i could size her up first. see if she can keep a secret. i’m good at reading people’s expressions.”

“B-but!” Alphys pled. “What if you get it wrong? What if she tells Undyne?”

“what if? is it really so bad if folks find out you’re here? you weren’t sentenced or anything, right? you’ve got the right to go where you want.”

That was true… and Alphys had to admit she wasn’t sure why the idea of being known to the outside world frightened her so much. Then again, she’d been willing to risk being recognized when she’d gone out in costume. She supposed that meant getting Sans’s forgiveness had been even more important to her than staying hidden.

“Well… I guess Suzy likes me… she wouldn’t probably s-spill my secret. I think she likes keeping secrets.”

“perfect. i’ll pay her a visit, and if she seems okay, i’ll see if she can spare some supplies. maybe you can even do some work for her by proxy. you get the fun of messing with machinery, and she gets the credit.”

Alphys trembled. “I g-guess that could be fun… and it really _would_ take me a long time to rebuild from scratch here…”

“so. what do you need from her?”

“Um! Well, I really wish we had a television so I could show Toriel all my favorite animes! M-maybe you’d like them too? And of course, a welding torch would be great… and some screws, a-and a wiring kit, and an electric drill, and some batteries to get me started… and m-m-maybe the determinometer, so I could continue my project? No, no, she needs that, it’ll be her job now. But… maybe she could make me a new one? Or just send a small sample of DT from the remaining supply… oh, and a multimeter! I could do so many things with a multimeter!”

“heh,” said Sans. “maybe you’d better make me a shopping list. dunno if i’ll remember all that.”

“Um, right! I—I’ll do that. Thanks, Sans… and just be _sure_ you can trust Suzy before you tell her, okay?”

He raised a palm solemnly. “tell you what. i’ll go ahead and judge her. the whole shebang. just to be sure.”

“Oh… okay.” Alphys remembered the eager mouse, always pretending to bump into her randomly in the Core so she had an excuse to ask Alphys’s opinion on her latest scientific interest. Most recently, she’d gotten into interactive dreaming… a topic Alphys knew nothing about and had to fake her way through. But then it occurred to her: “Y-you know, Sans, you never actually told me what your judgment of me was. I mean, you forgave me, and we heard the three bells… but…” She wasn’t even sure she wanted to know, but now she had to ask. “…what did you actually think of me?”

Sans took a step back and grinned a little less cheerfully. That was like frowning, for him. “you sure you want to know?”

Alphys drew back her lower jaw and closed her mouth over it. “Um… no.”

“mm,” observed Sans. “well, i’ll go back to wandering the ruins, then. lemme know if you need another wall taken down.”

He started to walk off, and Alphys knew she wouldn’t be content until she’d heard what he had to say. “W—wait! I… I _am_ sure. T-tell me what you judged.”

Sans turned to face her and his pupils got small. He didn’t talk for a while. Alphys waited patiently and tried not to tremble.

“well,” he began. “you’ve got self-esteem problems. you don’t like thinking of yourself as a good person, or an asset to society. you can pretend to be, but under it all is your private little secret—that you’re actually no good.”

Alphys stood there, one hand held helplessly in the other.

Sans went on. “thing is, you’re not really a rotten vegetable. you’re more like a vegetable with rotten spots. you’re afraid to cut out the rotten spots because you feel like they’re _all_ of you, and you can’t cut your whole self out.” He winked. “or maybe you can.”

Suddenly, Alphys saw herself as a yellow squash riddled with bad spots. “I… I know I’m not _all_ bad. I’m trying to be a better person here! I’m trying to build, instead of hide. T—to love, instead of… well, instead of hiding my love.”

“but you weren’t all bad before, either,” said Sans. “you were just obsessed with seeing the bad parts. you gotta take a step back from all the bad feelings once in a while. have a drink. relax. laugh at yourself, instead of fretting.”

“…I actually feel like I laugh at myself a lot. But it’s a bitter kind of laughter, like… like, ‘Is this all you can manage?’”

“well then. maybe you’d better laugh _with_ yourself, instead of _at_. and hey… from my perspective, there’s plenty that’s funny about you.”

“…Like my big mouth and my buckteeth, you mean? A-and the silly way I walk?”

“sure. but i mean deeper stuff too. just step back and look at yourself from a distance sometime. you’ll see it.”

She tried to process that. “I—I think it’s kind of funny that it took my l-life being ruined before I could be happy.”

Sans smiled a little wider. “there you go. that’s a great example. and hey. coming here? that was brave. you could really have jumped off the waterfall. you could’ve dusted yourself, for that matter. as escapes go, you can’t do much better than that. but you decided you didn’t really have to escape everything. so you came here, instead. you did good.”

Was he really happy that she was here? “Y-you really don’t mind me staying in the house with you? You know I’d be happy to move out, if you… if you don’t want me there. I understand if you don’t like looking at me, and I know three can be a crowd.”

“you kidding? three’s a party.” Sans winked, his grin huge. “i heard you and tori playing. ‘No, you’re very good!’ ‘No, you!’” He chuckled. Alphys was horrorstricken—he’d done their voices exactly! And… and if he’d heard that, what else had he overheard? “you’ve got a real chemistry with toriel,” he went on. “that’s rare. i should know.”

“I—we—Sans, I—” Alphys hid her face in her hands. “I can’t believe you heard that!”

“maybe i shouldn’t’ve said. but it’s clear tori likes you. and you love her, right? you’ve barely known her two weeks, but you’re already deep in it, aren’t you?”

So embarrassing. “Yes. Yes, I’m crazy for her. I used to feel this way about Undyne… a-and before her, Asgore.”

Sans chuckled. “i actually guessed that once. about asgore, i mean. you used to wear a pin on your labcoat when you met with him. pair of cat ears. and one time you told him, and i quote: ‘i look forward to plumbing the depths of reality with you.’ he thought you just meant science.”

“Oh my god!” said Alphys. “Y-you’ve been watching me for my whole career! And I didn’t even know who you were.”

“that’s just part of being the judge,” said Sans. “but yeah. i spent more time around your lab selling hot dogs than you probably knew. i’m the guy who gave the bad opinion zone its name.”

“Oh! Huh. I did wonder about that!”

“it was based on a long conversation between me and a customer. he thought i had bad opinions, but we decided to agree it was the zone’s fault, not mine.”

“W-were you there just to watch me?” asked Alphys.

“nah. you were one of the more interesting things in hotland, but i just liked keeping an eye on everyplace. i did think i knew you pretty well.”

He did? But… not anymore? “Y… you didn’t think I’d go crazy when a human came to the Underground,” Alphys shamefully surmised.

“yeah, you kinda surprised me on that one.”

“I’m so sorry.” She’d said it before, but she still felt it, so she said it again. “But, anyway, yes. I used to crush on Asgore, too. Heck, I e-even crushed on Mettaton a little, while I was making his body. He didn’t even have his sexy body yet, and I was _still_ hot for him even though I was the one designing it!”

“see? that’s what i mean. you’re a funny person, if you just give yourself some distance.”

Alphys did find it funny, if ruefully so. “But those are just silly dreams,” she said. “Toriel…” She raised her head. “I could actually see myself being with her! It’d be like a dream come true, but… it could happen! I know she likes me. I just… wish I could find some way to impress her.”

Sans gestured to Alphys’s pulley set-up and the collapsed rubble. “you don’t think all this’ll impress her? making machines out of nothing?”

“W-well, maybe if I can rebuild Home, that would impress her!” Alphys admitted. “But that’s going to take a really long time! I wish I had some way to show her how grateful I am… for how she saved me, and took me in…”

“like a gift.”

“Yeah, like a gift!” Alphys hurried over impulsively and clapped her hands on Sans’s shoulders. “You know her better than I do! What would Toriel really like? What kind of gift would really _wow_ her?”

He looked lost for a moment. “uh. anything from the heart?”

“Well, of course I’m going to give her something from the heart!” Alphys exclaimed, standing on tiptoes. “A-anything I give her would _have_ to be from the heart! But what does she really _want?_ Clothing? Books? Time-saving machines?”

Sans looked skeptical. “i think tori’s the kind of monster who likes to just keep living the way she knows how. she’s got plenty of time. i don’t think saving it is a real big priority. but sure, some new jewelry or a book might perk her up.”

“I don’t want to just perk her up! I want to absolutely delight her! I want her to be speechless with happiness, and pick me up, and spin me around…! What would do that, Sans?”

He considered for a while. “seems like you’d have to help someone else. i can’t imagine toriel getting excited like that for her own sake.”

It hit Alphys that he was right. How could Toriel be ecstatic over anything that was just for her? If Alphys could bring back her son from the dead, though… _that_ would do it, wouldn’t it? That would be just the ticket!

…Except that it was really dangerous, and he wouldn’t be the same without a soul, and even if she somehow found a way to get a soul for him, it wouldn’t be _his_ soul, and things would probably go terribly, terribly wrong, and Alphys would lose Toriel. So that was out.

But who else was there to help?

“anyway. i should be moseying on,” said Sans. “i hear the spiders are having a bake sale. nice talking with you, alph—let me know if you need me.”

“R-right.” Not like she had any way of finding him… but that wasn’t her biggest worry right now. “Wait. A bake sale? What are they raising money for?”

“search me. must be something important, though. i hear they have bake sales just about every other week. anyway, nice job with the wall. take care.”

He left. Alphys stood in the wreckage of the two walls, eying the shards of metal she’d been after, but her mind was elsewhere. Llewyn’s daughter, the royal scientist? Suzy might _think_ she could keep Alphys a secret, but could she really? What if Undyne _did_ find out she was here? What would happen? What would the empress do?

Yet the thought of Toriel beside herself with happiness kept creeping back and brightening up her train of thought. …How did other people _not_ crush on everyone they respected? What was attractive if not competence? Well, that and muscles, sure, even if they weren’t Toriel’s forte. And agility. And… good posture? Sometimes Alphys had no idea how the world didn’t constantly go around crushing on itself.

She had to find some way to amaze Toriel with generosity. To make her see that Alphys was as amazing a lover as… as Asgore had been. And… not just to pretend, either! Alphys wanted to really _be_ worthy of Toriel’s love. For the first time, it was starting to feel like a real possibility.

Leaving her hard-won scraps of metal behind, Alphys picked up her feet and ran for the catacombs. She had a bake sale to get to!

[*******************************]

 


	32. Ghost in the Machines

 [+]

**Scene 32: Ghost in the Machines**

_or_

“Life Report”  
  


* * *

 

_Don’t think of it as a pile of work,_ Suzy told herself.  _Think of it as a playground._

Every mouse likes something to infiltrate, after all. A wall, a leaf pile, a heap of rubble. Something to measure the hours and days by. Something to find the weak points in, break or gnaw apart bit by bit, and wriggle oneself into, so that now the thing is a  _home_ , like it or not. It’s a suit of armor. It’s its own tiny world to be explored.

Of course for a professional mouse, this was all a big metaphor. Professional mice infiltrated  _ideas._ They enmeshed themselves in intellectual homes, learning and developing irregardless of whether they had the approval of the bodies of knowledge they dwelt in. Suzy adored that idea. And she was utterly proud to be a professional. She was proud to be a mouse, too, but that was a different kind of pride, since it had happened without her say-so.

The walls of bins and boxes, the notes, the gigantic monitor, the consoles and controls and all the miscellaneous doodads… they were intimidating, but exciting.  _I’m going to burrow into these and find out what was going on. I’m going to understand it all, and it’ll all be second nature to me, and I’ll carry on where the great Doctor Alphys… chose to stop._

Suzy swallowed. It would be easier to get excited about all this if the specter of Alphys weren’t hanging over everything. Having inadvertently helped bring about her hero’s death would be tough enough, but in her meeting with Empress Undyne, Suzy had been given her first assignment as Royal Scientist: locate the previous Royal Scientist.

But isn’t she dead? Suzy had asked. Not on your life, Undyne had replied. Alphys wouldn’t  _really_ kill herself. She’d been given a tip that Alphys was still alive, somewhere, even though she couldn’t say who’d told her or how they knew. All she could tell Suzy was that the former scientist had probably gone down the waterfall into the void, and was planning never to come back. To Suzy, it all sounded like a horrible case of denial, but she couldn’t tell the empress that, could she? So she’d promised to do her best.

And she did intend to do her best, but she fully expected to fail. The suicide note, the tracks by the waterfall, the lizard’s known penchant for visiting the dump—it all pointed to her having taken a plunge. Her jetpack phone had been found abandoned. Numerous monsters attested to her having told them only days before that she’d lost everything—her life was ruined, and she deserved it.  _Everything_ indicated that Alphys had killed herself. But even if, somehow, she was still alive at the bottom of the endless waterfall, far out of sight… and even if Suzy could figure out some way to follow that wouldn’t strand her down there… she suspected she  _still_ wouldn’t catch sight of the former scientist. If Alphys wanted to be gone, she’d be gone. And even if Suzy somehow got  _incredibly, unbelievably_ lucky and managed to find her quarry… what made Undyne think she could convince her to come back?

There was just no way the empress was getting her friend back. She regretted firing her, sure. Suzy understood that. But it was a done deed, and the fish would just have to live with it. In the meantime, it unsettled Suzy. Did this mean Undyne had only hired her with the intention of firing her once Alphys was back? When Suzy failed to produce her, would Undyne be upset? Would she ever let Suzy do  _anything_ but search for Alphys? And on top of that, how would she react to finding out it was because of  _Suzy_ the human child ever came to Mount Ebott in the first place?

Overall, things did not bode well. And as Suzy wandered the lab to get a feel for it, not bothering for now even to turn on the lights, yet another fear came creeping up. Even if Undyne didn’t fire her for any of the various reasons she might… and even if Suzy was allowed to do work of her own choice… there was still a pallor hanging over all of this. Why hadn’t Alphys told anyone about the Amalgamates? What had led her to bottle up her guilt until it fermented, tainted, exploded—until she came to see herself, against all reason, as worth less than the books and tools that filled her lab?

For that matter, what had led her predecessor, W. D. Gaster, to endanger himself the way her father had described? It seemed that even if he hadn’t shared Alphys’s overt depression, by the end of his time, he too had come to value his own life very little.

Even if Suzy got to keep this job… would the rigors of it affect her the same way? Her self-esteem was bubbling now, but in a few years, would  _she_ be depressed about herself and battling thoughts of suicide?

Well, she couldn’t let that happen. That was unnatural. That was terrible. She would  _not_ let her father hear that his daughter had decided to kill herself, no matter  _what_ happened. Suzy stood on the upper level, looked over the laboratory, and lifted her tail, bolstering her confidence. “I am  _not_ going to kill myself,” she promised. “No matter what. Even if I screw up and commit terrible, evil deeds… then I’ll confess. I’ll let the Empress decide my fate. If I’m executed, then I’m executed. If I’m jailed for life, then I’m jailed for life. But I will absolutely  _never_ end my own life—on my word as a scientist, that I  _swear!_ ”

“good to hear,” said someone from the darkness.

Suzy burst into a panicked backpedal, bouncing off the wall and squealing in shock. “Whatthehell!” she chittered into the darkness. “Whothehell’sthere?”

“eh. don’t mind me,” said the deep, laconic voice. “i’m nothing to worry about.” Below, a pale, round, grinning face lit up in the darkness.

Suzy was hardly reassured. She pressed back against a poster on the wall. “I thought this place was empty! Who  _are_ you?”

“just the guy who sells hot dogs down the way. i wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.”

“Oh my _lord_ you scared me. How did you get in?”

“you left it unlocked. suzy, right? suzy creamcheese?”

“I’m pretty sure I locked the door.” She hadn’t wanted anyone walking in on her, which made it all the worse that someone had.

“not tight enough. don’t worry, i’m sure you’ll get the hang of it. any particular reason you’re worried you might do something evil?”

She’d just had to say that aloud, hadn’t she? Suzy gestured to the whole, imposing lab. This wasn’t even the worst of it—as she understood, the Amalgamates had been kept in a deeper, secret laboratory below this one. “I’m just scared it comes with the territory.”

“heh.” The white-faced figure ambled along toward the up escalator— _please don’t come up here,_ Suzy thought. “you’ll be fine. you seem like a good kid. you are a good kid, right? you’d never do anything to endanger the underground?”

Did he know? “Not unless the rewards clearly outweighed the risks,” she said carefully.

His face… did something for a moment. As if, for just a second, his grin wasn’t genuine anymore, even though nothing had changed about it. “oh. so you’re  _that_ kind of good. the kind that risks other people’s lives. i gotcha. you want a hot dog?”

She probably  _could_ go with a bite to eat, but this guy was getting ominous, and she wanted to minimize their interaction for now so that she could double-check the door’s locking mechanism. “Thanks, but I’ll pass. What’s your name?”

“sans. it means, ‘without’. seems pretty fitting these days.”

Pleased to meet you, Sans.” Lying was justified under duress, Suzy reminded herself.

“you mind if i switch on the lights? it’s kinda gloomy in here.”

Why not? “Sure, go ahead. I think I’m ready.”

The figure moved to the wall panel, and with a - _click-_ the lights came up. Everything seemed a lot yellower and… dorkier this way. It was actually a relief! Suzy chuckled.

The monster below was a skeleton, she could see that now. Gaster had been a skeleton. “Oh! Are you any relation to W. D. Gaster, by any chance?”

The visitor stared at her. “he was my grampa. and you’re llewyn’s daughter. i used to hang out with your dad. how’s he doing these days?”

That did make the skeleton a lot less scary. Now Suzy had the unpleasant task of telling him the truth. “He’s scared of shadows and hates everything he used to love. He never sets foot outside Lower New Home and steers clear of science.”

“what about drinking?” asked the skeleton.

“That too.”

“that’s too bad. he used to be a pretty amazing drinking buddy. you ever see your dad throw a dart?”

“Once or twice, in the old days.”

“he was something. had a knack for making a guy feel comfy.”

Suzy smiled, thinking of it. “It’s Sans, right? I can tell him you dropped by.”

“sure. you do that. so, how’s the big league scientist gig working so far?”

She was unsure how much it was safe to tell him. “Well, I’ve already got my first assignment from Empress Undyne! I haven’t started in yet, though—first, I have to take stock of what I’ve got to work with.”

“you need any help unpacking or anything? i can count stuff for you, or just listen to your thoughts if you want someone to tell ’em to.”

That was a little tempting, but… “I’d rather take it all in alone, if that’s all right. Maybe if I feel the need for a friend, I can find you ‘down the way.’”

“sounds good. i’m not always around, but if i am, i’ll be glad to keep you company. i hear it can be a lonely job.”

She bit her lip. “I’m afraid it may be. I’m used to working with a team.”

“you might want to invite people in. have get-togethers. don’t give yourself a chance to get lonely.”

Suzy snickered. “I’ll have to get work done sometime!”

He shrugged. “so it’s a balance. sometimes talking to folks  _is_ getting something done. speaking of which… hey suzy?”

Her tail hovered at midriff as she rose on her toes. “Yes?”

He peered directly up at her. “can you keep a secret?”

Suzy was wise enough not to answer that without thinking. This skeleton… this mysterious man who knew her father and could bypass a locked door… his secrets might well be something serious.  _Could_ she keep it if so? She imagined her father asking about her first week on the job… would she be able to keep things from him?

Well, she’d kept her adluminological adventures a secret, hadn’t she? “I can, but do you really think I should?” she ventured.

“the secret i’ve got in mind? yeah. that’s one you’re gonna want to keep.”

She was curious now. “Is it important?”

He nodded. “yeah. and if i’m gonna tell you, i need your word that you tell  _no one_ . not the empress. not your father. not your buddies from the core. no one.”

Suzy resisted this inwardly on general principles. She didn’t like being told what to do… but if that was what she had to promise to learn this secret, that was what she’d promise. And having made a promise, she would keep it. Purity was attractive in mice. “I promise,” she said slowly. “I solemnly swear.”

“you tell no one,” repeated the skeleton.

“I will tell… no one,” repeated Suzy, playfully savoring the words.

He stared at her, still silent. She clutched the railing, waiting for him to spill this exciting secret. Her tail curled until its tip was as high as her head.

“just tell me one thing first,” he finally said. “if this royal scientist thing works out for you, what are you going to do? what’s your craziest dream for this job?”

Suzy was taken off guard. But there was no reason to refuse the question, was there? She dove into her fantasy center, ears relaxing and eyes unfocusing. “Wow. I’d like to free us all, of course… break the barrier… but of course that’s too easy.”

“sure. lead your entire people to freedom on the surface, that’s easy.”

Her whiskers bristled. “I don’t mean easy to  _do,_ I mean easy to  _imagine,_ ” she chided. “And you wanted my craziest dream.”

“sure. so what’ve you got?”

So she let her imagination go traveling. It took her down through the floor, but didn’t stop there. “Explore the core of the planet,” she said. “Not the Core I used to work in, but the  _real_ core. Four hundred billion pascals of pressure. Find a way to fight that and see what’s at the heart of things. Answer all our unanswered questions about the planet.” Another tendril of imagination suddenly erupted. “Or!”

“or?” prompted the skeleton.

“Or soar into the sky, past the surface! Make a machine that can fly past the atmosphere, into darkness. I’d like to lead us into the outer sky and talk to angels!”

The skeleton tilted his head back. “oh yeah? sounds nice. what would you say to them?”

Suzy considered, tantalized by the prospect. Her tailtip caressed the floor sumptuously. “I’d ask them who they are, and how they became that way, and whether we might be able to do it too,” she decided.

A bell suddenly sounded from one of the machines, sending her into a panicked scamper. Which one had it been?  _Bonngg_ , it went again. Was it an alarm? Were they in danger? She looked every which way. It sounded a third time, but Suzy still couldn’t tell where it was coming from… and… it didn’t ring again. Three times was it.

She looked plaintively to the skeleton. “What was that?” she squealed.

“nothing to worry about. it happens around me sometimes. but hey. if you want, i’ll tell you my secret now. you seem like a decent girl. a little naughty, sure. but decent.”

Suzy had been called worse than naughty. She composed herself, trying not to wonder for now about the bell. “I’m listening!”

The skeleton went to the escalator and rode it up. Even though she’d gotten to know him a little, it was still disconcerting to have this monster approach her. His clothes and his walk were casual, but right now he seemed very serious.

“you know how alphys killed herself, leaving this job open for you?”

Of course she did. What did he think had given her the idea of going to the center of the planet? “Yes…?”

The white face held hers. “she’s not dead.”

Suzy closed her eyes, processing. Again? Another? Or was this monster Undyne’s source in the first place? “How do you know?”

“i just do. i’ve been in touch with her.” He produced a piece of paper and unrolled it. “and she gave me a shopping list for you.”

Too much. “Whoa whoa whoa,” Suzy protested. “You’re saying Alphys is not only still alive, she knows I’m here… and she wants me to go shopping?”

“she could use some of her old stuff back, that’s all.”

“But… then where has she gone? Why would she let us all think—” Or maybe she was just being far too credulous. She sighed. “Sans, do you have any proof?”

“lend me a camera, i’ll take a picture of her. she doesn’t have any where she is.’

“Where _is_ she? In Heaven? Shangri-La?”

“in exile, with the queen undyne toppled. she kinda misses having all her machinery.”

It seemed plausible, but… “For all I know, you took a picture of her when she was still alive,” Suzy pointed out.

“tell her what to do in it. she’ll do it.”

Suzy took a deep breath. Could magic fake something like a photograph? Not that she knew of. “Tell her to play a game of hopscotch. Take a picture of her in mid-hop.”

Sans nodded, grinning more widely. “will do. oh. and she said there’s a message for you on the mainframe. log in as admin and look for a directory called ‘doublemew’.”

Suzy went down the escalator and looked at the stack of notes by the huge monitor. She found the instructions for an administrator login, and once logged in, she searched for ‘doublemew’. It existed; it had four text documents in it.

“first one is all her secret theories about her favorite anime show. second one is all the things she would have written differently if she’d been in charge of writing the sequel. third one is a walkthrough she wrote for the dating simulation based on the show. and the last one—this gets complicated—the last one’s a fictional walkthrough for a fictional dating simulation based on the way she would have done the sequel if she’d been in charge of it.”

This was overwhelmingly geeky. But everything the skeleton said checked out. Suzy paged through the final document, amazed by the detail. “…if your FM (that’s Feline Magnetism, if you forgot) is over 15, then Ryuki wants to spend time with you instead of Koko, and the best way to satisfy him is to act like a cat! If you do that, though, he tells everyone at school that that’s what you really like, and now everyone expects you to rub against their leg and chase ribbons, and you’ll have trouble getting your Dignity score back up! And meanwhile, Koko is going to be jealous and try to turn the karaoke crowd against you, unless you help her study and boost her trust in you! So why do it at all? Well, later on, when Ryuki is looking for someone to cast in his theater club production of…”

Wow.  _So_ much was lost when a person like Alphys decided to pack it in. But was she really still out there? Somehow, this skeleton had known about this directory and its contents. “But… but if she really is alive, then why did she leave? Why did she send you?”

“she felt like starting over somewhere new. can’t say i blame her.”

“Is it just that she doesn’t want to show her face? Because of the amalgamates? Or is it something to do with Undyne?”

“can’t really say. i think when undyne threw her out, it crushed her pretty bad.”

Suzy stood up and spun around. “Does she know Undyne is looking for her? She wants to apologize! She assigned me to  _find_ Alphys.”

The skeleton hesitated a moment. “um. well, i’ll let her know. but for now… remember, you promised.”

How was Suzy supposed to handle this? “Undyne wants me to tell her where Alphys is, and if I can believe you, she’s with the queen in exile. But I can’t tell her because it was a secret?”

“i know you’re good for your word, kid.”

Her mind raced. “But if I find out that information some other way, then I can tell her, can’t I? I mean, you can’t just make my first and only assignment impossible to complete by swearing me to keep one secret!”

The skeleton scratched his head. “i dunno. if you do find her some other way, it could be because i clued you in. that’s not really fair.”

Suzy flattened her ears, then raised them. “If the secret you’d told me had been that snow is white, would that mean I could never talk to anyone ever again about the whiteness of snow?”

He sighed. “i guess it’s up to your conscience.”

Suzy settled back into Alphys’s swivel chair and listened to her conscience. It was telling her to hear this guy out.

“All right. You said she wanted some supplies from the stock?”

“yeah. she’s hoping to make a new lab for herself, i guess. needs some tools to get started.”

“That’s fair. But you realize if Undyne finds out I helped Alphys set up a rival lab far away, she’ll be upset.”

“she’s upset now. but yeah. i won’t tell her.”

Suzy looked around the neatly sorted lab. She handed Sans a camera. “All right. Leave the list here and I’ll get everything together. Come back once you have that picture of Alphys playing hopscotch. And just to be safe, go ahead and ask her what the last thing we talked about was.”

“will do,” said Sans, setting the list on the desk. It promptly rolled off; he didn’t bother to pick it up.

“Well, thanks a lot,” Suzy added. “You just made my life a lot more complicated.”

He tilted his ribcage. “i kinda get the idea you like it that way.”

Suzy smiled and let her tail unfurl. “It’s worth trying out, anyhow.”

He grinned. “i’ll bring you a hot dog on the way back.”

“Sure. Knock this time, all right?”

“will do. and when i do, you say, ‘who’s there?’”

Suzy smirked. “So you can tell a knock-knock joke?”

He shrugged. “everybody needs something to look forward to.”

Suzy chuckled silently. “Fair enough! See you later, Mr. Without.”

Something in his eyes flashed for a split second. “yup. seeya.” He turned and took his time ambling out.

Suzy watched him go, then hurried over and locked the door. Nothing wrong with the mechanism. That guy had cheated somehow.

Still, it wasn’t as if Suzy wasn’t a cheater herself. She cheated the rules of dreams, and she’d cheated the barrier. She could appreciate the marvel value of a good trick.

Day One on the job, and already she was torn between two sides. Yep, this was going to be a good one.

After standing in thought for a while, Suzy dragged an easel pad out from where it had been stashed and found a marker. With a few broad strokes, she got to work putting her thoughts in order. Before she could understand this neatly sorted tomb, she was going to have to draw chaos from it.

Time to make a mess!

* * *

That night, she stood on a mountaintop, her bare pink toes freezing in the snow. The world was broad in panorama around her, seeming to take up more than three hundred sixty degrees. In every direction, snow gave way to better things—heath, or grass, or weathered, lichened stone. In the far reaches lay fields and lakes and riverbeds, and in several directions, villages. Their low buildings took many shapes and were too far away to make out, but somehow, she knew which village was the most important.

“Oh,” said a voice from behind her. “I didn’t think… I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

She turned, feeling her fur blow in the wind. Sure enough, the child was there, underdressed for the cold in their familiar striped shirt. “We had to meet again, didn’t we? To clear things up.”

They shook their head. “Where  _were_ you? I looked for you the whole time… I kept thinking I’d find you if I just reached the end… that you’d be waiting for me.”

Suzy took a deep breath and reminded herself that the child couldn’t hurt her in a dream. Not in a way that left a mark, anyway. She’d had dreams in which she’d fallen, and been sure she was about to die—and then she’d learned the difference between  _being sure_ and  _knowing_ . “I was at work when you reached the Core. I was watching you! But they started rearranging the rooms, and I didn’t dare venture out in the middle of it.”

The narrow eyes stared at her. “You watched me.”

“I watched you,” repeated Suzy. “And I was _never_ going to come out and meet you, even if Mettaton’s goons hadn’t started setting things ashambles.”

Uncertainly defined the child’s face—in that moment, she could believe the wind might seize them up and send them tumbling down the mountain. “You weren’t?”

“No,” said Suzy. “Because it was all a trick. All the things I told you… they were just a huge trick. I told you lies, and when I told you truths, they were only to make the lies seem more real.”

The child looked more puzzled than horrified. “Then what did you want?”

Suzy went ahead and said what she’d promised herself she’d say, even if it was difficult. “I was hoping to get you killed. I’m not sorry, and I’m not asking for forgiveness.”  _Wow_ did she sound like her father right now.

The child swallowed, not saying anything. Things felt a little too real all of a sudden, as they sometimes did when dreaming.

“You know why, don’t you?” she pressed.

The child didn’t make eye contact. “You wanted to take my soul. You wanted to add it to the others and make seven.”

“Exactly! It would have meant free reign over the hills and dales for my whole people. Green grass and real wind. You get to live in a place like that—we only dream of it.” She spread her arms to encompass the mountain and all that surrounded it. “I don’t mind if you’re mad. I just want you to understand why I tried.”

The child stood in thought, staring down the mountainside. Clouds moved slowly by in the wind.

At last they asked a question. “Are you mad that Asgore is gone?”

Suzy had to think about that. “Mad? No. Devastated. We were so close, and now, after so many centuries, we’re back to square one!”

“Sorry,” said the kid.

Now she didn’t know what to say. She thought about coming closer, but sometimes in a dream you just can’t move when you want to.

“I wish you’d just told me the truth,” they said, looking back at her.

She gulped. “Maybe if I had, we could have been friends. But I went for the big prize instead. I went for freedom.” She wondered whether the child hated her for that.

“Yeah,” they replied. Faintly. Into the wind.

A light blinked on in the important village way below. It was getting dark, and someone had put a light on. But it was much brighter than a normal light would be, which meant it had to mean something.

“I just want to know,” Suzy said. “Did you take the souls?”

The child turned in surprise. “Huh? Oh. No. No, I didn’t.”

She breathed deeply. “What did you do with them, then?”

A short pause. “Nothing. They’re on their own.”

What did that mean? “Did you set them free?”

The child shook their head. “They set me free.”

With that, they started down the mountain path toward the house with the light in it.

Suzy followed. Her steps were light. Too light—she was able to bound with each step, and feared she might fly right off the side of the mountain. She had to tread slowly, but that meant not keeping up. “What do you mean?” she called. But the child didn’t answer.

She tried to take it easily down the mountainside, but at one point her foot bounced off a soft stand of heath, and she went flying a little too hard. Suzy soared over the amazing dusk-lit landscape, taking way too long to come down, and in time she lost track of the child. That light was still there, though, so she followed it. After way too long, she found herself sinking gently to a pile of hay just outside an earthenware cottage. The bright light was coming from a lantern in the window.

There were humans there—a tall woman with prominent hips and shoulders, and a bearded man whose eyes Suzy couldn’t see. The woman was standing; the man sat at a table.

“Where have you been?” asked the woman.

“I slept up in the mountains,” said the child, who was there. They took off their coat and sat at the table, where there was some kind of modest meal.

“Did you meet any monsters there?” asked the man, who was wearing a brown coat.

“A few,” said the child.

The woman put her arms akimbo. “Did they try to eat you?” she asked, concerned.

“Yeah,” said the child. “But I didn’t let them.”

“Oh, Frisk!” she replied. “I wish you hadn’t gone off on your own! You could have been eaten by monsters! We were so frightened!”

The scene was silent as the child twisted in their seat. “Actually, there were no monsters,” they said. “The mountain was empty.”

The woman sighed. “Well, that’s better,” she said.

“Yes, that’s better,” agreed the bearded man.

The child looked suddenly over toward the window and caught Suzy’s eyes with a gleam. The gleam grew in brightness until Suzy couldn’t stand to look at it. She fell backwards and found herself seeing a spinning sky—and just before her head hit the ground—

She woke up in bed. Shaking on the inside. Well.

That could have gone better, couldn’t it? Then again, it definitely might have gone worse.

[~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~] 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever had a dream where you couldn’t help but fly a little bit, whether you wanted to or not?
> 
> Suzy isn’t aware of this, but ‘irregardless’ isn’t a legitimate word. Just use ‘regardless’ instead. Oh, and by the way, in case Suzy’s name didn’t ring a bell, you might be interested in looking up a song called “Return of the Son of Monster Magnet,” by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention.


	33. An Unexpectedly Easy Dilemma

 [+]

**Scene 33: An Unexpectedly Easy Dilemma**

_or_

“Her Lost Friend”  


* * *

 

  
Alphys insisted on dressing up for the photograph. She hadn’t played hopscotch since childhood, before she’d developed her nerd identity and its associated aversion to physical activity. But she was excited to have an excuse! So she borrowed clothes that had once belonged to Toriel’s children and squeezed herself in for the photo shoot. Frilly minishirt, unbuttoned blouse, hair scrunchie repurposed as a tail scrunchie—in barely coordinated orange and green, she was a real sight. Sans expected her to just pose for the shot, but Alphys insisted on actually playing the game. Suzy hadn’t asked for a photo of her  _pretending_ to play hopscotch, had she? She’d asked for a photo of Alphys  _playing._ And Alphys was well and done with dishonesty. So, since neither Sans nor Toriel were confident in their ability to hop, she recruited a random Loox from town to be her competition. The Loox won handily, but Alphys was still thrilled just to have competed. She went around flushed and breathing hard for an hour, and every breath carried overtones of triumph.

They put up streamers and held a viewing of the photos in the foyer. It was a digital camera without printing capabilities, and Alphys didn’t have a projector, so the viewing just involved everyone looking at the camera’s display while Toriel clicked through, but they each took turns narrating the action, and Napstablook showed up somehow, and the talkative rock from the catacombs was invited—she had to be, since they’d used her as the puck for the Sudden Death round—and they set out cocktail glasses filled with ginger ale everywhere to make it feel more like a real artistic debut. Toriel hadn’t used the cocktail glasses in a dog’s age, but Alphys found them packed away in a high cupboard and insisted on taking them out and filling them with something. Napstablook broke one by mistake after sipping the ginger ale and getting tipsy, having mistakenly thought it was wine cooler.

Once they’d cleaned up, Toriel promised a special treat for Alphys. Dinner that night was marinated root salad and spidercakes… but afterward, Toriel made Alphys sit tight while she went back to the kitchen for dessert. Alphys and Sans sat there looking at each other, grasping fork and knife upright in their hands. When Toriel returned, it was with a naughty little grin. She set the tray of buns before Alphys and said, “While you were bedridden, doctor, you made the mistake of saying that you would never turn up your nose at anything I baked! I am now holding you to that promise.”

“hey. don’t i get any?” asked Sans.

“You may certainly have some if you like, Sans. But it is Alphys who is bound by her word to dig in.”

Alphys looked trepidly at Toriel. “Do… do I get to know what they are?”

“Of course! They are weevil buns. I have sweetened them with brown sugar and cardamom. I am quite fond of them, but not one of my human children ever agreed with me!”

“W… W-w-weevil buns?”

“I decided one day that if weevils were going to eat my grain supply, I would turn things about and eat them along with it,” said Toriel. She sat down next to Alphys and leaned in. “You are not going to turn up your nose, are you, doctor?”

“Uh, n-n-no! I’ll, um… I’ll eat one.” And she did, trying to think of sticky buns with nuts. “Ooh! Um.. It has a nice texture… almost a crunch, but not quite, like… like flower seeds! And I th-think the weevil is giving it a sort of… savory flavor? Like it’s halfway to a meat bun?” She took another bite, and Toriel clapped her hands together before her like a girl.

“You _enjoy_ it?”

Alphys looked abashed in mid-bite. “W-well… I _am_ a lizard.”

“I am delighted beyond words. I will make these for you often, along with several variants I have concocted.”

“i think i’ll pass,” said Sans.

“Are you certain?” asked Toriel. “You have not tasted it!”

“nah. we had a saying in my family. see no weevil, hear no weevil, taste no weevil. so i’m good.”

This set the women to giggling and effectively exempted Sans from the questionable dessert.

* * *

The next day, Sans brought the picture proof back to Suzy Creamcheese, along with Alphys’s embarrassed recollection of their last conversations about adluminology, or the field of interactive dreaming. Suzy expressed delight and wrote a letter back to Alphys, which Sans delivered along with a huge, cumbersome box of supplies from her wishlist. Alphys took it to her room (which was now the one next to Toriel’s) to read it alone.

She emerged some time later in a state of anxious jubilation. “She wants us to stay in correspondence! She wants us to b-be joint royal scientists, with me w-working behind the scenes! And she said something else, too. She said… she said that Undyne is looking for me.”

“yeah, that’s my bad,” replied Sans. “i told her you were still around when i went to judge her. i tried to make it sound like you were at the bottom of the abyss and never coming back, but i guess undyne’s just not the kind to let go.”

Alphys fretted. “Um! Wh-why did you have to do that?” She tried to smile, but it didn’t last. “And why is she looking for me? In the letter, S-Suzy says Undyne feels… bad about what happened?”

Sans spread his hands. “guess the girl’s not over you.”

Alphys blushed. “Oh god… are you saying she really  _did_ like me the way I liked her? But… b-but then why did she fire me? Why didn’t she believe me about my motives? Oh, Undyne!”

Toriel’s hand carefully descended upon her shoulder. “Does this mean that you may soon be leaving us, doctor?” she asked softly.

Alphys trembled throughout as she considered. “I… I don’t want to,” she said at last. “I’m… kind of afraid to go back. And besides!” She looked up, taking in the caring sight of the boss monster behind her, and went on more quietly. “F-for what it’s worth, I’ve… kind of moved on from Undyne…”

Toriel teared up immediately and shook her head. “Oh, doctor. Please do not say what I think you are saying.”

The little scaled fingers grasped her arm. “I’ll write back to Suzy and we’ll see what she thinks, but… I don’t think Undyne should know where I am.”

“She misses you, Alphys! She would like to apologize!”

“Maybe she can apologize in a letter and d-drop it into the waterfall! But… I think for now, it’s better if everyone thinks that’s where I am. I don’t want to be a p-part of the world again. It’s just too painful!”

“you sure about that, alph? lot of monsters might be glad to see you back.”

“Oh… I don’t think so. I didn’t really have any friends left. And I’m—I’m so excited about the idea of starting anew here! A-and besides! You guys need me!”

With her other loving hand, Toriel covered the claws clinging to her sleeve. “Are you certain there is not another reason?” she asked.

Alphys looked up at her without a word.

Toriel’s ears sank. “Alphys, there is a monster out there who loves you as you do her, or at least so it would appear!  _Please_ do not pass that up for the sake of a silly crush on a boring old lady!”

Alphys replied in pain: “But… but Undyne had her chance! Wh-when I explained to her that I really did want her to win, and I’d just sent you the tapes because I wanted the truth to come out… she didn’t believe me. She thought I’d betrayed her! She didn’t understand that I was p-putting the truth above my love for her, because I guess that’s not… something she would ever do. But you, Tori! I moved against you. I gave Undyne weapons… and I hid secrets from you… and even after that, you still forgave me. I… I need someone who understands that love  _isn’t_ everything, and neither is loyalty! That… that as high as it is, there are some things higher! Undyne doesn’t understand that… but you do.”

Toriel’s voice was utterly tender, her words hesitant. “Do not throw everything away for a love that cannot be. Please, Alphys.”

“But… but why can’t it be? I thought you said I was a treasure. Don’t… don’t you love me, Toriel?”

“I love you as a mother, Alphys! But that is not what you desire, is it?”

The reptile grinned. “You might be s-surprised. And yes, I know you th-think I’m ugly. B-but appearance isn’t everything!”

“Oh, Alphys! I do _not_ think that you are ugly. You are adorable, and beautiful in your own way. And you are right that appearance is certainly not everything. It is just that… Alphys, my husband still dwells within me! He has been with me for millennia, and he will _always_ be with me. I cannot push him aside!”

Alphys’s fingers clung harder. “Just wait, Toriel. I’ll win you over! I know it’ll be hard, but I know I can do it!”

“So you would give up a certain thing for a foolish dream?” chided Toriel.

“D-do you think loving you is foolish?! Oh, Tori. Y-you’ve got some things to learn too, don’t you? No, I’m definitely staying, and that’s that.” She lay her head against Toriel’s arm.

Toriel looked to Sans for support. “Sans, what is your opinion of this matter?”

He straightened up a little. “seems to me she knows what she wants, and she knows why she wants it. far as i’m concerned, that’s a huge improvement.”

Her face grew frustrated. “So you will not tell her to return to the outside world? Even if she could be the Royal Adviser?”

“i’m not the sort who tells other people what to do, tori. if you’re the one she wants, i think you’re stuck with her.”

Toriel tapped her fingers gently against the lizard’s cheek. “Oh, doctor. What am I going to do with you?”

Alphys looked up hopefully. “L-learn to love me?”

Now it was Toriel’s turn to blush. She gathered her diminutive suitor into her huge arms and said nothing.

[=================================]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember back when there were short chapters? This is a throwback to those halcyon times.


	34. Carbon, Oxygen, Iron

 

[+]

**Scene 34: Carbon, Oxygen, Iron**

_or_

“Metal Crusher”

 

* * *

 

Toriel raised her eyebrows, intrigued. “What did you say, my ch—Alphys?”

Alphys twiddled her fingers but kept eye contact. “I said, um, would you like to go, uh, smelting with me?”

It was midmorning; Sans was away for the day, presumably to carry home another three boxes to be added to the mysterious maelstrom in Asgore’s old bedroom. Several days had passed since the new Royal Scientist had sent Alphys the supplies she wanted, and Alphys had spent every one of them busy. Toriel almost mourned for the tranquility that had been lost. Yet now…

“Smelting! I thought I had heard you incorrectly. You are speaking of the process by which ore is heated to release its contents?”

“Uh, y-y-yes! I could really use your help! Oh, and, um… if you want to call me ‘my child,’ that’s okay with me. I _am_ sort of like a child sometimes, and… w-well, I’m definitely a lot younger than you! And I know how you love children…”

“Come now, Alphys. You are not in any way a child! Does a child ask to go smelting?” Well, Natalia might have, had she grown a bit older. But that was neither here nor there. “It is simply a slip of the tongue—a phrase I am accustomed to saying.”

“W-w-well, if you _did_ call me your child… I think it’d make me feel warm inside.”

_What_ was Toriel to do with a companion like this? “If you were my child, then it would be my responsibility to raise you. But doctor, you are already raised!”

Alphys grinned nervously. “I—I could always be raised a little higher!” she suggested.

Now Toriel laughed. She was tempted to pick Alphys up and hug her, but decided it would be unmeet, given the context. “Oh, Alphys. You will have to decide whether you want a mother or a lover! And of course I will go smelting with you, if you wish me to!”

“…Great! I found an old blast furnace in a foundry against the north wall. A-at least, I assume it was a foundry! It’s half collapsed, but the furnace seems okay!”

With great effort, Toriel thought back in order to recall what Alphys was speaking of. “If I remember correctly, that was a town home for the fire monsters. It was heated from beneath by the blast furnace, which was operated by a Stryker. The blacksmith later moved in and built a forge there.” Indeed, she vaguely remembered having to arbitrate a dispute about who got to work at which times, since the building was prone to grow  _too_ hot when both forge and furnace were burning.

“Really? That’s wonderful! That explains why the walls are so tall. I fixed up the furnace so it should work… I hope!”

“I suppose you will want me to provide the fire.”

“W-well, I’m sure you could control it a lot better than I could! You know how to work with fire. I’m—I’m more an electricity girl.”

Toriel smiled and walked toward her bedroom. “I will fetch my protective clothing from my wardrobe. I regret that I do not have a suit for you to wear.”

“Oh! D-don’t worry. I made one for myself! I hope… I hope you don’t mind that I used your sewing machine.”

She should have known. “You sewed a protective suit? But doctor, are not more thorough techniques called for? Will not the heat seep through the seams?”

“Don’t worry about that! I vulcanized it!”

Toriel’s ears flared back in amazement. “And how did you accomplish that?”

Alphys smiled shyly. “I had Sans bring it to a Vulkin. It can take the heat now!”

Toriel blinked. “Well! I suppose we shall see. Shall we change into our respective suits?”

Alphys bounced excitedly. “Yes… let’s!”

Several minutes later, Toriel emerged in a full-body protective suit made from Kowpie leather, nothing but her face visible through the glass visor. Alphys was waiting for her in a suit that was somehow yellower than she was. She had presumably used materials from Toriel’s stock, but Toriel did not possess any yellow leather.

“T-Toriel! You—you look even sexier this way than in your full-length, long-sleeved robe!”

This kind of comment simultaneously tickled and perplexed Toriel. How was she supposed to react? “And I am impressed by what you have done with my supplies! How did you manage that shade of yellow?”

“Lichens soaked in ammonia!” said the excited lizard. “P-plus a little bit of golden flower pollen? I didn’t take much! I hope that’s okay?”

“So long as you have not spoiled my garden, doctor, I am not upset. Indeed, I am impressed! How did you manage to obtain ammonia?”

“The Moldsmals sold it to me! They seem to have plenty, for some reason.”

Toriel smiled broadly. “You have only been here a week, and you are already fitting in like a local! How do you manage to get so much done in so little time?”

Alphys’s blush was visible even through her visor. “I guess it’s a matter of motivation!”

“I am heartened, then, that you are so motivated! Shall we be off?”

The scientist leapt in excitement despite the weight of her suit. “Let’s go!”

* * *

The trip to the old foundry was lengthy, but there was no shortage of conversation. All along the streets of Home, Alphys pointed out things she had discovered, or asked questions about who had used the buildings, and for what purpose. Toriel found it challenging to keep up. Her memories of that time were hazy, and she was not used to the frenetic pace of life Alphys seemed to be intent on setting. But then, she understood her friend’s enthusiasm. Alphys was a scientist faced with rebuilding her technological world from scratch. The task before her was to do nothing less than equal the achievements of civilization to date, despite being but a single person with a single lifetime. And what advantage did she enjoy over civilization in this contest? Only knowledge. Alphys was possessed of tremendous reservoirs of knowledge, and was now being given the chance to fully utilize them. It was no wonder she was motivated: she was attempting to demonstrate that her knowledge alone could accomplish in a few brief years what had taken all monsterkind—and before them humankind—hundreds of centuries.

_Be still, my fluttering heart,_ Toriel reminded herself.  _She is not yours. She is a marvel, yes, but your heart belongs to the Asgore who was._

“Hello!” Alphys called to a large spider watching from a lintel. The spider readjusted its mandibles but said nothing.

“Good morning,” added Toriel as she passed underneath.

A distant flutter of wings marked several Whimsuns passing a block or two away. It was otherwise still. This city was far too large for the scant population who lived here now, but that did not dissuade the the monsters from wandering the old paths now and then. Amid stone, molds grew, and lichen, and toadstools. In ancient fountains, algae thrived. Just as the small victories of these small organisms were not to be discounted, so the small monsters dwelt here, living lives that were not wholly unhappy. They accepted Toriel as their leader, but as their minds were not deep, they could provide her only passing company. Yet they loved her, and gave what companionship they could. Now, perhaps, they would give Alphys and Sans that same consideration.

The two of them reached the old foundry. One ragged spire of concrete stood several stories tall, a testament to the floors of fire monsters whose hunger for heat had been fed by this lower level. The descendants of those monsters now lived in Hotland, where the environment suited them and no special accommodations were necessary. That was for the best, of course, but there was, nonetheless, something utterly touching about special accommodations.

“Look! See how I patched up the holes and cleaned out the clogged up tuyere?” said Alphys. “I repaired some holes in the bellows too, but they work now—see?” She used nearly her whole body weight to pump the sizable bellows.

“So I see! Perhaps I should be the one to work the bellows,” Toriel offered.

“But I need you tending the fire!” said Alphys. “I-ideally, if you’re good enough at controlling it, we won’t even need the bellows!”

Toriel began to worry that Alphys was putting too much faith in her abilities. “I have to confess, Alphys, that I have never smelted before! What exactly do you wish for me to do?”

Alphys gave her a wide-eyed look. “You never… you never did it before?” A moment of awkwardness passed. “Um, no problem! I’ll explain it! Do you… do you understand the basic process?”

Toriel gave the matter her due consideration. “A fire is lit at the base of the furnace, then contained within. Fuel and ore are passed into the top, I believe… or perhaps the fuel goes in the side, here? No, this is where the waste comes out. The air is used to strengthen the fire… and the fire burns away the impurities, leaving only metal.” She presented a sheepish look. “Do I have the basic idea?”

Alphys nibbled her claws. “Um, well, yes! Basically. Except the impurities don’t burn away… they just separate from the metal, and the metal likes to stick together! But you’re right, this is where the slag runs out… and this is where we blow the air in… and this is the door we open to get the metal when it’s finished! And, um, I found these tongs and this poker here, and this hammer is from the armory… and I found this iron ore in the entryway to the city, where the ceiling slopes low… there’s plenty more where it came from!”

Toriel smiled, impressed anew. “And the fuel? Do we have any charcoal?”

Alphys looked troubled. “Well, no… I couldn’t actually find any charcoal. But we can make some! Charcoal is just what you get when you… burn wood for a long time in a place without much oxygen, until the cellulose is gone and all that’s left is ash and carbon!”

Oh my. “Carbon?” asked Toriel. “Oxygen?”

Alphys giggled nervously. Toriel wondered what was going through her head at that moment. Was she wondering how Toriel could have lived so long without learning this already? She had to admit that was a good question. Was Alphys trying to avoid appearing superior? Or was she simply trying to formulate a way to explain?

“Let’s dig a pit and I’ll explain!” exclaimed Alphys at last.

So they dug in the earth outside the building. At first, Alphys left Toriel to dig while she found lengths of root and dead branches to burn. But once she had returned with wood, she began to help Toriel dig… and as she dug, Alphys talked:

“So! Carbon is what charcoal is made of! Well, really it’s made of char with a little ash, and char is a form of carbon! But so is… so are diamonds… they’re carbon too! Carbon is… well, it’s basically like me. It’s the geek of the elements! It likes forming itself into all sorts of funny shapes, like tubes and balls and lattices, and you never know what charge it’s going to have because it’s got so many different ways to ionize! And it’s light, and sometimes it’s really weak and falls apart, like the graphite in a pencil, and… and sometimes it’s ugly and misshapen and dirty… like charcoal!”

“But sometimes it is a diamond,” Toriel repeated. “Did you not say so? And diamonds are very strong.”

“Erm… yes,” Alphys admitted. “Sometimes carbon is strong.”

“And if you are carbon, does that mean that I am oxygen?” asked Toriel.

“Oh, gosh, yes! Y-you’re a breath of fresh air!” Alphys covered her mouth, embarrassed. “And, um… oxygen is the part of air that we breathe! It also makes up most of the mass in water… and water is… essential for life… and breathing is how we get energy…”

She trailed off, now gazing in admiration at Toriel, her jaw shaking. This would not do; Toriel reached out to touch her companion’s hand. “Doctor. You were saying?”

“Oh! Um. Sorry. Well! The thing about oxygen is… everyone loves it! It’s always bonding with all sorts of things, including metals! And when you heat up ore, the oxygen is the hardest thing to get rid of—it just doesn’t go away!”

“I do have a way of enduring,” Toriel observed.

Alphys blushed. “Um, right. So. If we roast iron, we get iron oxide! And that’s not nearly as useful as iron by itself. Iron is… well, i-it’s like Asgore! It’s strong, and stately, and it’s… good for making swords… and armor…”

“And tridents, I take it?”

“Uh, yes, and tridents. Aheheh. So, um. Heat alone doesn’t get the oxygen away from the iron! So what can we do to separate them?”

Well. Toriel knew the metaphorical answer to that question all too well. Give them a question of life and death. The oxygen will choose life, while the iron will choose death. But she could not say that to Alphys. “I am sure I do not know!”

“Um! You, uh. You send _carbon_ to it! You see, um… carbon and oxygen are friends. They’re really good friends! They get along as a pair, and th-that’s called carbon monoxide, but a carbon atom can _also_ get along with twice as much oxygen and that’s called carbon _di_ oxide, and that’s what a f-fire tends to produce! B-but! If you… if you blow air into the bottom of a fire, you f-force it to burn hotter down there, but when it burns hotter, the oxygen higher up gets burned up faster, and… and there isn’t as much oxygen anymore… and then the fire produces more carbon monoxide than dioxide, and… and some of the carbon doesn’t have _any_ oxygen to keep it company, so it goes up and—and takes some from the iron oxide! And the monoxides aren’t lonely, exactly, b-but they want _more_ oxygen, so they pull even more of it away… and eventually all the oxygen is with the carbon, and the iron is left by itself…”

Toriel stared at Alphys through their visors. Did she realize what she seemed to be saying?

Alphys jerked in surprise. “Oh god! Um, I… I  _swear_ I didn’t plan this metaphor in advance! I didn’t mean to say I w-wanted to steal you away from your husband’s memory! That’s just…” She put her face in her hands and moaned: “That’s just how the  _chemistry_ works!”

Was it, indeed? Toriel sat down and waited, saying nothing.

“A-anyway. That’s why we use the bellows—to burn out all the oxygen unevenly so the oxygen attached to the metal… oh god, now I can’t stop thinking of it in terms of you and Asgore. I wouldn’t have wanted to split up you and him. I’d never do that! I… I don’t know if you know, but I actually… had a crush on him, too.”

Now here was a rather odd wrinkle. “You did? Truly?”

“Truly! I… I wanted to impress him so badly. I made Mettaton just to impress him… I kept making more and more inventions, hoping to impress him… hoping he’d invite me in for tea sometime and talk about how lonely he was… and how all he needed was someone with… oh! I can’t believe I’m telling you this! You don’t want to hear it.”

“Alphys, it is all right. I am rather fascinated, to be honest. I have never heard of someone having a crush on both a wife _and_ her husband.”

Alphys hid her head in shame for a moment. “Maybe you should read more manga.”

“Will you tell me what you found appealing about my husband?” asked Toriel, smiling.

Alphys looked up at her. “You really want to hear?”

“Of course! You are one of my closest friends, after all. I am always interested in hearing about your passions.”

“But… but it’s so awkward.”

“I am starting to suspect that if I spend much time around you, I will have to become used to that,” joshed Toriel.

Alphys wrung her hands. “Um. I am kind of awkward, aren’t I?”

Toriel weighed her words. “You are very self-conscious. It may inhibit you from time to time.”

“Th-that’s a nice way of putting it. I just… wish I could be confident around you, Toriel. I wish I could be… a diamond, instead of a… a hunk of charcoal. I want to impress you just as much as I wanted to impress Asgore.”

“…And what exactly do you think you have been doing all day?”

Alphys looked over, the shame on her face turning to hope. “Do—do I really impress you?”

“So far as I can tell, you never grow _tired_ of impressing an old lady. I could not do what you have done with this furnace. Your abilities are prodigious, and your enthusiasm doubly so. Yes, Alphys, you impress me! But you have not yet answered my question! What precisely about my late husband did you find appealing?”

As expected, Alphys was disarmed by this answer. “Oh! Um… well, if you’re sure you want to know. Where—where do I begin? He had the… the perfect demeanor! Do you know what I mean? He was so forceful, but… also so gentle! It’s like… whenever anything bad happened, he knew just how to face it!”

Toriel smiled wistfully. “With a cup of tea.”

“Aheheheh… well, yes! That’s how he liked to start! H-he believed you could solve anything better over a—a cup of tea. He even gave me that little yellow lizard cup I brought with me, but I… I only used it for soda.” Her shoulders slumped for a moment, but then she popped the seams of her suit back up. “But after the tea, once everything was, uh, set out, he’d sort of magically pick out the most important thing about the issue and let it, kind of, direct his decision! And he’d listen to other people, like Gaster, or, you know, like me, and he wasn’t just listening, he really _might_ change his mind because of us! But it was all driven by his… his principles, and his determination. He was like a straight arrow, in soft huggable teddy bear form! Uh… you know, in a lot of ways, you’re not so different.”

Toriel set her hands in the soil. “But I am not endowed with such an impressive beard!”

Alphys chuckled. “Oh gosh! The  _beard!_ It’s like it had its own personality!”

Toriel tossed a loose handful of dirt onto Alphys, giggling. “Were you infatuated with my husband, or his beard?”

Alphys shied back at the dirt and squealed, though it landed harmlessly on her suit. “Is there really a difference? I—I would have married them both if I could have!”

This was just too much. “Alphys!”  
  


“What!?” She skittered away in case Toriel chose to throw more dirt, which of course left Toriel no choice: she scooped up a double handful.

“Would you have married both me and my husband, if you had the choice?”

“Uh… y-y-yes! If that were a thing you could do! I’d be squished together between you like a plushie, and I’d let you both use me a-as a toy to rub over the other’s body! And… and eve—EEEK!” She leapt aside as Toriel hurled her payload.

“ _You were saying?_ ” pressed Toriel.

“Uh! I was saying even if I couldn’t marry either of you, I s-still would’ve shipped you as a couple! I bet you and Asgore were just adorable together, weren’t you? I w-wish I could have been alive back when you were together.”

“’Shipped’? What do you mean, ‘shipped’?”

“Um… shipping is when you imagine two people together… and, um… write stories about it… and obsess over how exactly it would happen…”

“Oh my _lord!_ ” exclaimed Toriel. She gouged out another clump of dirt and set the plant matter in it ablaze before throwing it at Alphys. The fire fizzled out on contact with the yellow suit, but it still made Alphys frantic.

“BUT I DIDN’T ACTUALLY WRITE THE STORIES!!”

“You have admitted that if you had known us together, you would have!”

“Well… well, if I could have just compound-married you, I w-wouldn’t have had to!” she pointed out.

Toriel blasted the hole with her magic, spraying Alphys’s feet with bits of earth. “My gracious, doctor! That is enough!”

Alphys leapt a few inches into the air, then looked down at the hole. “Um… yes! That  _is_ enough! You’ve managed to dig a big enough hole to bury the wood I found!”

Toriel smiled cleverly. “Have I really? That is a delight to hear.”

“You… y-you aren’t really angry at me, are you? I mean, I would… I would never want to _really_ make you angry.”

“Not at all, my dear one. I am merely incensed. There is a difference.”

“Oh! Uh, well… good!”

“Now then—how do we proceed?”

They buried the logs in a mound of earth, and Alphys guided Toriel through the process of burning them with little exposure to the air. The smoke was formidable, making Toriel glad her face was protected. Alphys then used a pole to poke around the charred earth, peering at what remained of the logs.

“I th-think they’re ready! They’re black and brittle.”

“Have we succeeded in creating charcoal?”

“Yep! It’s pretty much just carbon now. It’s lonely and could really use some nice, bright, happy oxygen…”

Toriel refrained from taking this bait. “So now do we place the iron ore into the furnace?”

“Well, I think we alternate the fuel and the ore! But first let’s get a nice, hot fire going…”

There was always pleasure to be had in nurturing a fire and warming a room. Even if one was wearing protective clothing, and even if that fire was uncommonly hot and the room was missing more walls than it possessed. Alphys worked the bellows by leaping up and letting her weight carry her down. She seemed to be enjoying it.

“What is the purpose of feeding the fire air at intervals, rather than simply having it open in the first place?” Toriel asked.

“Great question!” Alphys huffed between leaps. “Essentially, by giving it what it wants in little doses here at the bottom, we t-trick it into thinking it can burn more brightly than it would otherwise t-try to do. Of course, we aren’t literally tricking it, since f-fire doesn’t think…”

“Not as we do, at least. But I suppose that is a useful way of looking at it?”

“Yeah!” She settled down on top of the bellows with a a slow hiss of air. “And so the fire tries burning hotter than it has any right to burn… but it’s a trick! There isn’t enough oxygen to make the carbon happy, so it h-has to settle for one mate, when it would really rather have two.”

“Like certain lizards I could mention.”

Alphys looked mortified. “I really only want one mate!” she exclaimed. “I’d be totally happy with just you… if you loved me, I mean.”

Toriel decided not to split hairs once more over what kind of love she felt. She continued using the long tongs to add ore and charcoal to the fire, stoking it occasionally with her magic. Eventually Alphys got off the bellows and caught her breath. “Okay! I think it’s been long enough! Now it’s time to pierce the bottom of the furnace and let the slag out!”

“And what, pray tell, is slag?”

“Oh… that’s the gunk you get from melting away the rock part of the ore… the part no one wants. If you want to make something pure, there’s always the leftover gunk to get rid of.”

Toriel could not help but think that Alphys was still thinking about herself. “Why do we pierce the furnace? Why not simply open the door to remove the slag?”

“B-because it’s hot and liquid, and it needs to pour out! It’s actually pretty to look at. Watching the unwanted parts flow away… this furnace didn’t have a tapping arch, so we’ll need to repair it before we use it again, but if this works out, maybe I’ll build one!”

Alphys used the poker to break a hole near the bottom of the furnace, and the liquid rock, so hot it was red-orange, was allowed to drain out. Toriel had heated things to this degree only on a few previous occasions—when she was trying to destroy a boulder that had fallen into the Froggit pond; when Natalya had begged her to show off the full extent of her power, and Toriel had finally given in; when Asgore had asked her to provide pyrotechnics for the one thousandth anniversary of their entrapment in the Underground; when she had learned fire magic techniques from her mother as a young adult. This was only the fifth time in her long life that she had created fire hot enough to melt rock, and for the first time ever, it had not exhausted her. She was still full of vigor and had magic to spare. Such was the wonder of technology!

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” said Alphys into the silence. “Let’s give it a minute to cool down, then see if we got any usable iron!”

They opened the door and used the tongs to extract a few lumps of hot iron, encrusted with rock. At her companion’s direction, Toriel went about breaking these crusts off with the hammer. “And it is pure in the middle?”

“It should be, if the fire was hot enough! On some level, m-metal loves to be with itself!”

She felt mighty, undressing the iron nuggets with crushing swings of her hammer. Of course, Asgore would have done better, but Toriel was no weakling.

“G-great!” said Alphys. “You’re doing great. Let’s turn that one over so you can do the back.”

“Tell me, doctor,” mused Toriel. “You have said that both carbon and iron love oxygen. But are carbon and iron themselves ever friends?”

“Yes!” exclaimed Alphys in delight. “Th-that’s how you make steel! And even if they don’t actually bond chemically to make it, steel is s-super strong!”

“How delightful! Is steel a major component of your electronic devices?”

“Yes, it is! I use tin sometimes, but steel is really my w-workhorse metal. I keep reusing it over and over! It’s good for cases and supporting structures and tools… really, for lots and lots of things.”

Toriel continued to render naked the hot iron. “And did you ever bond with my ex-husband, Alphys? Chemically or otherwise?”

“Um… I… I’m not sure what you mean!”

“I am only curious how close you and he became. You did work directly for him, did you not?” _Ting, ting._

“Um, yes… and like I said, we worked on a few problems together… but he never really opened up to me. Not like I wanted him to.”

“I do not suppose you made clear the nature of your affection?” _Ting, ting._

“Oh, no! I was… afraid he’d shut me down. Better to keep the dream alive than ruin it forever, am I right?”

Toriel looked at her companion, pausing in her work. “Is that why you did not tell me your feelings at first?”

She seemed to be making Alphys uncomfortable. It was amusing, after a fashion, to tease the doctor about her crush on Toriel, but she must remember that it was also cruel to do so. While Toriel found the idea inherently funny, it was far more serious for Alphys.

“Um… I guess? I was just r-really nervous.”

“And had I not forced the issue, would you _ever_ have told me?”

Alphys drooped. “I don’t know.”

Toriel set down the hammer. “Is keeping a dream alive so important to you, Alphys, that you are willing to give up any chance of it becoming reality?”

The scientist was silent a while. “…It’s pretty pitiful, isn’t it? But I think that… that’s just how I’m made. I’m made to dream, even if I know my dreams could never ever actually come true.”

If it were not for these bulky suits, Toriel would cuddle Alphys. “And yet your dreams so often  _do_ become real! You are capable of imagining marvelous machines, and with your knowledge and your technical genius, you are able to actually construct them!”

Alphys cheered up a little. “Heh… yeah… I guess dreaming is actually good for something…”

“It is good for a great deal.” After a pause, Toriel went back to breaking loose the rocky crusts. “If anything is ever to be enjoyed other than what is before us, right here and right now… then there must be dreams.”

Alphys grinned and turned over the nugget. “Yeah!”

“I am a creature of habit, Alphys. I am not very skilled at dreaming.”

“Th-that’s okay, Toriel. Dreams aren’t everything. Beside, I p-probably dream enough for the both of us!”

“With your television shows and your books full of stories about romances between other people!”

Alphys’s arms shook as she held the nugget in her tongs. “Y-yeah!”

“I will say this, doctor. While I may not be much good at dreaming, I do admire it when it is done well by others.”

Alphys grinned. “You do?”

Toriel finished her work with one final  _bing_ and nodded. “It fascinates me to be in the presence of a powerful imagination! Such as yours. Thank you once again, doctor, for choosing not to remove yourself from the world. I am very glad you have come into my life.”

Alphys trotted over and hugged Toriel’s leg, a feat that was currently easier than when she was wearing her robe. She let go and looked up as if she had something to say… but decided instead to say something else.

“Okay! So now we’ve got wrought iron, and we know the furnace works! We could forge it into something while it’s still hot… but I think what I really need is steel, and I think I’ve m-made you do enough for today. I’m going to work on making a crucible, and then we can start to work on casting the iron into whatever shapes we need, or cementing it with carbon to make steel. I think the clay by the Froggit pond will do for making ceramics… I just need a place to fire it. I wonder if we can use this furnace as a kiln! I’d just need to open it up and improve airflow.”

“Oh! As a matter of fact, I already have a kiln,” said Toriel. “I use it to make my flowerpots and plates! Perhaps I can help you with your crucible.”

Alphys trembled with excitement. “Great! I haven’t done any clay firing for a long time, so your help would be m-much appreciated. Um… do you want to help me gather the clay? I don’t want to take you for granted… I know all this is my responsibility, not yours.’

“I suspect that you have fired clay more recently than me, doctor. It is possible you were not yet alive when I made my last batch of plates! I am very careful not to break them, you see.”

“Oh! Uh… heheh, sure! But even so… you probably know more about it than I do.”

“That is doubtful! But I am glad to make myself available for any and all of your projects. Do not feel that the improvement of our quality of life is your responsibility alone. It may be largely your initiative that drives it… but I am invested in this effort as well.”

“A—are you really?”

“Of course! It is true that I have lived in largely the same way for nine hundred years, but that does not mean I am uninterested in learning new things! I am fascinated by what you are doing with our little world, Alphys. It is not a burden to join you in labor. In fact, I hope that you will ask me more often!”

The look of indulgent delight on the reptile’s face was all the reward Toriel needed for her efforts and then some. “I—I’ll be sure to keep that in mind! I figured I’d be rebuilding my laboratory from scratch… but if it could be… a partnership? That would be fantastic!”

Toriel extended her gloved hand. “Then we are partners in crime.”

Alphys quailed. “In crime? I don’t want to commit any more crimes! I—I’d rather… I want to be partners in  _goodness._ C—can we do that?”

“Of _course_ we can do that, dear one!” Toriel grinned.

Alphys took her hand with both of her own and shook it. “I like it when you call me ‘dear one.’ Have I told you that yet?”

“Then I shall do so often, for it is true. You are dear to me.”

Even within the suit, Alphys’s tail rose hopefully. “And… a-and can we be partners in sex, too?”

Suddenly, Toriel knew that a girl still lived within her, for she wanted to squeal in astonishment. As it was, an unbelieving gasp of laughter escaped through her upraised hands. Had Alphys, nervous little Alphys, really just been so bold? “Do not make me toss more dirt on you!” she returned.

Alphys skittered back as if Toriel had a handful right there. “Sorry! S-sorry. Eheh. Sorry! I don’t know what gets into me sometimes.” She looked nervously between the ceiling, the foundry, and a place far away.

Toriel felt a deep sympathy for the scared friend before her, so recently the epitome of confidence. She wished she could give Alphys everything that she wanted, without reservation; that an unrestrained stream of giving could flow from her into her friend as an expression of the purity of her adoration. But the little thing was so silly sometimes! Did she even know what she asked? “Do not be embarrassed, my dear one. There are simply some things I cannot provide—that is all.”

“B—but…”

Their eyes spoke to each other then, in lieu of words. At last, fidgeting her hands, Alphys turned askance. “Well. Would you… I guess we should go back and change out of these suits, huh? We can probably leave the iron here. I don’t think anyone’s going to steal it… right?”

Toriel’s heart ached because she knew she had made Alphys ache. Yet there was nothing she could do but carry on. “I expect the iron will be fine on its own.”

“W-well then, let’s go! Maybe we can grab a bite of something and then… o-on to the Froggit pond!”

“Perhaps a few slices of bread would go well with the leftover onion soup!” Toriel suggested.

“Yeah! G-good idea.” Alphys started off.

She is beautiful when she stutters, Toriel reflected. But she is so much more beautiful when she does not.

_Be still, my fluttering heart. She is not yours. She is radiant, yes, but you belong to the Asgore who once was._

Because the iron was never really fine on its own, was it?

[++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this chapter mean that my story is now science fiction? ;) I’m inclined to say no, because the science isn’t the fictional part.
> 
> I almost included a coda in which Sans asks Toriel how her date went, and she insists that it wasn’t a date; and he asks what they were working on and she says that they made a fire hot enough to melt iron; and he asks if they dressed up and she admits they wore protective suits; and he asks if anything exciting happened and she gushes about the flow of the red-hot slag when it was released. “sounds pretty intense,” he would have said at the end. “glad you had a good date.” Whereupon Toriel would insist again that it was not a date and Sans would walk off eating a sandwich. (But I didn’t include it because that would’ve been silly.)


	35. Obviously Let's Roleplay

 

[+]

**Scene 35: Obviously Let’s Roleplay**

_or_

“It’s Showtime!”  
  


* * *

 

  


>   
> Dear Alphys,
> 
> It’s so exciting to be engaging in subterfuge with you! To think we could wind up partners—me the official figurehead, you the power behind the wheely chair. I’m more than willing to set up and run any experiments you’d like to conduct, but I’m working on my own projects in the meantime. A system for automatically reshuffling the Core would be amazing, complete with pseudo-random encounters—we could confuse visitors just as much with half the workforce! I’ve also dabbled in safe-cracking, so now that I have the resources, I’m simultaneously trying to design a safe-cracking machine and develop a new combination lock that’s proof against it. What a thrill it is to wage war against oneself!
> 
> I’m intrigued by the idea of the soul detector you described in your last letter. I agree—your determinometer would be a good starting point for that. I even imagine a complex of determinometers—really, a controlled cloud of samples—all working in tandem, maybe sending signals through each other in a chain reaction when they get sucked up by something! The goal is to create something that can pervade the atmosphere harmlessly, right? But think about what that means. How would the monsters feel about specks of determination flying everywhere through our world, too small to see? Would it be safe? Do you think they could be convinced that it’s safe, even if it is?
> 
> The idea of running into something everywhere, no matter where you go… well, it means no escape, doesn’t it? It’s a horrifying idea. I love the fact we’re actually discussing it.
> 
> Do you think it might be possible for determination to be drawn toward the determination in someone’s soul, but blocked before it can enter? That may be the next direction for me to take my research. I’ll see if I can’t create a non-absorptive determinometer!
> 
> One advantage of pursuing this project (other than the fact that it’s  _fascinating_ ) is that it works as a cover for the empress. When she asks what I’m doing to locate  _you_ , I can tell her that I’m working on an invention to locate souls, which is true! I can let her think the ultimate goal is for it to be able to locate a  _specific_ soul… which is also true, in a sense. If the queen-in-exile still has relics that spent a lot of time with the six children, it seems just possible that maybe they could somehow lead us to  _their_ missing souls. But all Undyne needs to believe it that it’s  _your_ soul we’re looking for.
> 
> I think it’s all rather delicious! But I’m worried about what Undyne might do to me if she finds out I’ve been working with you secretly. She could kill me! I think it’s very much something she’s capable of. She’s been hounding me for progress on finding you, and I’m running out of things to tell her! She’s gotten pretty unhinged, Alphys. She spent days in the barrier room, just ‘trying to get a feel for its weaknesses,’ and when that fizzled, she realized she’d been neglecting the Underground and decided to make it up to everyone by printing thousands of punch cards for Nice Cream and leaving them everywhere! But the Nice Cream guy went out of business giving out so much free product, and now he’s working for the Temmies, trying to teach them writing or drawing or god-knows-what. Oh—and Undyne had me make copies of all your animes and movies so she could put copies in every library in the Underground. She created a new section for them called ‘Definitely Real.’
> 
> I was able to convince Muffet to keep mum about who brought the human here in the first place, and I count myself lucky, but this is still all quite risky. So please, please don’t tell anyone about our arrangement aside from Sans and the queen-in-exile. I think we can have a terrific time with this if we keep our secret, but I’d like to keep my little mousy head attached to my body! I’m sure you feel the same way.
> 
> I’ll have the supplies you listed ready for Sans when he next comes by. Keep fighting against the darkness! And remember—you’re the reason I’m shoulders deep in this in the first place.
> 
> Your secret admirer,
> 
> Suzy C.

 

Alphys set the letter down beside her plate a little too carefully, as if trying to hide her emotions. “Well!” she finally said. “She certainly seems like an interesting girl, doesn’t she?”

“you sure you should be reading us this stuff aloud?” asked Sans, shifting in place. “stuff like filling the air with tiny bits of determination?” He could imagine a few ways that could go really wrong, but at the same time, he mostly trusted these girls not to do anything _really_ stupid without thinking it over.

Alphys shied back, embarrassed. “W-well, it’s just a concept in progress! Besides, our cell phones work by sending signals made of dark light through the air, and that doesn’t hurt us… so long as we have  _real_ light to keep time moving, too. I actually think her ideas are really interesting. I’m going to have to think about them before I write back.”

“sure. but maybe some science is a case of ‘what we don’t know can’t hurt us.’” Sans took a bite of his supper, giving the others a moment to digest what he’d just said. “i know i wouldn’t want bits of determination everywhere, searching for loose souls. but what do i know? maybe it’d be okay.”

“Well… well, if we _did_ do something like that, we c-certainly wouldn’t keep it secret from the monsters! We’d just have to explain the benefits, and the… and the risks, and we’d have to convince them it was worth it!”

They hadn’t been able to convince the monsters to keep a peaceful queen in power—did Alphys really think they could convince them to fill their atmosphere with the essence of humanity? “suzy doesn’t sound so sure they can be convinced.”

“Well… I guess that’s what politicians are for!” replied Alphys, in a tone of voice that suggested she’d _known_ they were good for something, and here it was.

Toriel leaned forward. “Does she really refer to me as the queen in exile?”

“She even hyphenates it,” said Alphys. “Queen-in-exile.”

Toriel giggled. “How quaint!” She stood up. “I am the Queen-In-Exile,” she intoned solemnly, one hand on her bosom. “Once I knew glory, but now I am reviled.”

“Y-you’re not reviled!” protested Alphys, pushing back her chair. “You’re—you’re beloved!”

“If I am not reviled, then why am I in exile?” Toriel inquired, then resumed her weighty tone, dropping her chin. “I am but a ruined husk of my former self.”

“No!” squealed Alphys in horror. “You’re beautiful!”

“I am fallen.”

“You’re risen! You’re like a living star!”

Ignoring Alphys, the boss monster clenched a fist and presented her profile. “But someday, I shall return to reclaim what has been wrested from me!”

“Do… do you really think so?”

“i’m pretty sure she’s joking,” put in Sans.

“I—I know she’s joking… but I can’t help but take her seriously,” said Alphys pitifully.

Toriel’s mask of a face melted. She went over and put her hands on the lizard’s shoulders. “Oh, Alphys!”

“I—I just can’t stand to hear anyone saying bad things about you, even… even if it’s _you!_ And even if you’re joking!”

Toriel massaged her shoulders. “You will bow before me, pitiful subject.”

Alphys squirmed. “Mm… but… but do I have to? That feels so good…”

“You may bow after I am finished massaging you, if you wish.”

“That’s… that’s really reasonable of you, Your Majesty. See, this is why you’re a good queen.”

Sans finished the last of his dinner and stood up. “so, is this what they call role-playing?”

They both beamed in surprise, looking first at each other, then at Sans. “Y-yes, it is!” exclaimed Alphys.

“Were we role-playing, Alphys?” asked Toriel.

“We were! We really were!”

Toriel picked up her cup of tea and drank deeply. “We should do so more often!”

Blushing, Alphys felt her shoulder where Toriel had touched it. “That—that’s—that would be fine with me!”

“But we only did it by accident! How is it properly begun?”

“Um… you… pick a premise? And… characters? And, um… a setting? I mean… there are a lot of ways to do it… didn’t you ever play Monsters and Humans when you were a child?”

Toriel gave her a funny look. “When I was a child, Monsters and Humans was not a game. It was real life.”

“Oh yeah! I… I forgot. Someday, Tori, you’re going to have to tell me everything you remember about living on the surface.”

“I would be glad to! But now I am too excited by the idea of ‘role-playing’. Is it simply the same as playing make-believe?”

“Um… yes and no? I mean, yes… basically… but there are ways you can enhance it… and um, make it more complicated… really, role-playing is make-believe for adults!”

“That is charming! Let us retire to the foyer, Alphys, so that we do not bother Sans.”

“don’t mind me,” said Sans, who showed no signs of doing anything but leaning back in his chair.

“I do not _mind_ you,” said Toriel, “but I do not wish to bore you with technical discussions. Besides, I would enjoy a change of scene. I find that the foyer is good for exciting conversations because it overlooks the staircase! There is something about being physically higher than another space that… HEIGHTENS the mood!”

Alphys hurried along after her. “I agree! That’s why I built a loft in my lab! When I stand at the balcony, it… I mean, when I used to stand there, it would inspire me to…”

Her voice trailed off as she left the room, and Sans was left to recline alone. He could still hear his housemates in the foyer, but they were muffled background noise now, on par with the crackling of the fire.

Sans decided that one more source of background noise would make things even better: the sloshing of suds in the kitchen. So he got up to do the dishes. It was okay not to be lazy—no one was watching him.

Once he had the dishes soaking, he sat down in Toriel’s big chair. Yep. That was perfect.  _That_ was background noise.  
  


* * *

  
A while later, he woke up. Huh. Drifted off a bit there. The suds weren’t crackling in the kitchen anymore. Sans realized that he’d forgotten to actually  _wash_ the dishes—he’d just let them soak. Oh, well, somebody else could finish up for him; he’d done his part.

He wandered into the foyer, and was slightly surprised to find Toriel there, wearing an old brass crown and holding Alphys by the hand. “In that case, doctor, will you prepare a letter attesting that I am the true queen?”

Alphys trembled and slouched. “Uh… Oh, uh… Yes! I’ll be sure to write it quickly!”

“You realize, of course, that without this letter, I will surely topple from the throne. I am depending upon you.”

“O-o-of course you are! And you can, uh, you can count on me! I wouldn’t want to… I wouldn’t want you to, uh, topple!”

“Nor do I! That is why I am asking.”

“And that’s… and that’s why I’m answering! I’ll go and write the letter right away!”

“Perhaps you should write it here! I will go and fetch a pen and some paper.”

“Um… um… but! I write better when I’m… alone! And I can, um… talk to myself?”

“Well! In that case, I will leave you alone with the pen and paper. Since you have promised to aid me, there is no reason you should not agree to do this!”

“Um… okay! But, um… I just remembered that I have to make an important phone call. Can I… can I do that while you get the pen and paper?” Alphys pulled an imaginary phone out of her pocket.

“But I have already fetched the pen and paper!” said Toriel, brandishing the imaginary items and setting them before Alphys. “However, if you would like to make your phone call presently, I would not mind listening to it.”

Alphys gritted her teeth. “Um!” Her hand shook. “Oh! Look! I’m getting a call! Someone’s calling me!”

“How delightful! The only people who ever call me are human children.”

“It’s, um. It’s definitely not Undyne. It’s…” Alphys answered the imaginary phone. “Hello? …Oh! It’s one of my patients! I—I mean, it’s one of my patients’… families? Uh, I mean, it’s… it’s a _member_ of one of my patients’ families. Hello there, Mr. Gridley! Come right away? Uh, I-I-I wish I could, but I have an important letter to write for the queen! Oh—it’s an emergency? I’ll, uh, I’ll be there right away!”

Toriel looked suspicious. “Why is one of your patients’ relatives calling  _you_ with an emergency, doctor? I would think it would be the other way around.”

“Um….it’s… it’s that he remembered there’s a special need his daughter has! A… a special dietary need?”

“I see! And you have been providing her food for how many months, doctor?”

“Um… well… I mean, he only just remembered, and th-this is probably why she isn’t better yet! If I just… give her what she needs to eat, she’ll probably…”

Toriel calmly plucked the imaginary phone out of Alphys’s hand. “Doctor, there is nobody on the phone. You have been fibbing to me.”

“I! Um, no! I wasn’t… I mean, I guess I was fibbing, but it’s only because… I can’t write the letter. Undyne would kill me! She… she thinks I’m _her_ friend!”

“But Dr. Alphys, is it not more important to reveal the truth to monsterkind?”

“Uhh… well, maybe… but then what do I tell Undyne when she finds out!?”

Toriel considered. “If you are fearful of retribution, perhaps you should remain in my castle. We can protect you here, doctor.”

“St… stay in the castle? But then… but then, the monsters might think you’ve kidnapped me, and you forced me to write the letter!”

“That is a good point! Well then, perhaps during the speech, you should go forth into the crowd in order to read it—far enough that you could escape if I were truly holding you hostage. But then, if there is action against you, you can retreat into the safety of the royal guard.”

“Um… that sounds like a good plan. A scary one, but good! Um… I… I’ll do it?”

“Excellent! Then I shall sit here while you write the letter of attestation.”

Alphys sat down nervously and took the imaginary implements. Then she looked up chipperly. “Y-You know, your majesty, I can make pens that are a lot easier to use than q-quill pens. We’ve been making them for a long time now!”

Toriel snickered and pulled off the old crown, holding it at her side. “I do not use quill pens! You are subverting my imagination!”

Alphys held up the invisible object she had been ‘given’. “N-nope! It’s definitely a quill pen! If you want to convince me you’re modern, you should… you should imagine more carefully!”

Toriel made a frustrated “Pfff” and poked Alphys with her crown. “You are making fun of me!”

Alphys smiled, her tailtip up. “I don’t need to make fun of you, Toriel! Y-you’re already fun!”

Toriel was caught off guard. Sans had decided some time ago to lean against the wall and watch, but he couldn’t let this go by. “wow, tori. you should see the look on your face right now.”

Alphys chimed in excitedly, “It  _is_ a good one!”

“Hmph,” said Toriel freezing her expression. “Alphys, fetch my hand mirror. It is in my top dresser drawer.”

She did her best not to move until Alphys returned. Upon taking the mirror and looking in, she shook with repressed laughter. “Oh my! I am.. I am ruining it by laughing! Look at how my eyes are crossed! Look at the wrinkle in my muzzle! I look so suspicious and confused!”

“N-not to mention affronted,” said Alphys.

“You are right!” said Toriel, her voice belying her expression. “There is definitely affrontedness in there as well!”

“It’s all right, Tori. You can break out in l-l-laughter if you want to.”

Toriel laughed, grinned broadly and shook the odd expression off her face. “Thank you for sharing that with me,” she told Sans.

“i guess the role-play’s over?”

“I… I guess so!” said Alphys. “But it was a lot of fun, and I’d like to do it again!”

“yeah, you guys were a hoot,” said Sans.

Toriel straightened her ears out with her fingers. “I also found it very enjoyable! It is so very funny, and unless I miss my mark, it is a good way of relieving tensions as well.”

“E-exactly! I think of it as… a form of therapy! E-especially when we both play ourselves. Most role-play doesn’t work like that, you know.”

“Oh?” asked Toriel. “Is it more normal for us to trade roles?”

Alphys blushed. “Um, no! Not really. Normally we would play… other people. Who… who aren’t us!”

“Oh, I see.” Toriel considered. “Would it… perhaps this is asking too much, but would it be possible for us to play… myself and my human children?”

“Um! What do you mean? Doing what?”

“i think i make a better audience than a role-player,” inserted Sans.

“I understand, Sans, and I appreciate that. What I mean, Alphys, is that… I am still wracked with emotion sometimes regarding my many children. I wonder whether I could have done better with them, and sometimes I wonder what they were thinking. Is it possible that…” She looked hopefully at Alphys. “…that you could slip into their roles, and give me some sort of closure?”

Alphys hurried over and gave Toriel a hug. “Oh, Tori! I hadn’t even thought of that. I—I don’t know how well I could do, since I never even met your children, but I’ll do my best! You’ll have to… you’ll have to tell me all about them!”

Toriel bent over to rest her hands on Alphys’s back. “I shall be elated to do so.”

“you mind if i listen in?” asked Sans. “i’m kinda curious what the little anklebiters were like.”

“By all means you may listen in,” said Toriel. “As far as I am concerned, the more people I can tell their stories to, the better.”

Alphys let go of Toriel’s waist. “Ooh!” She raised a quaking finger. “I—I have an idea! Can—can we make a bedtime story out of it?”

Toriel quirked her eyes in thought. “I do not see why not. In fact, now I am convinced that we should! Let us do it.”

“bedtime story, huh? pap used to like those. for a while, i was telling him one every night.”

Alphys looked mortified to hear it, but Toriel seemed intrigued. “Then you must be very skilled at telling them!”

“eh. it’s not like he set a high standard. just give him something with a hero, a cool outfit, and some pasta, and he was happy. actually, so long as the story wasn’t just a series of puns, he was happy.”

“Even so, I hope that we can prevail upon you to share your talents one of these nights.”

“sure, why not? we can take turns being the grown-ups and the kids.”

“There is no reason why adults cannot tell bedtime stories to each other,” chided Toriel.

“I don’t really care who or what I am,” said Alphys. “I just want to hear it! Uh… T-Toriel?”

“Yes, my dear?”

“Will you, uh… carry me to bed and tuck me in? I’m feeling really tuckered.”

Toriel stood tall, affronted. “Oh  _really_ , doctor. You are quite capable of getting yourse—” Then she stopped, her ears turning backwards. “Oh! You are role-playing again! I did not realize it at first.”

Alphys smiled and waggled the end of her tail. “I just like the idea of you tucking me in!”

Toriel sighed, barely disguising her contentment. She picked up the lizard in both arms and walked into Alphys’s bedroom, which was scattered with samples of metal and electrical equipment on top of the kids’ toys. She drew back the covers and lay her burden down. “Ahh. There you are, Alphys. Are you comfortable?”

“I should… I should probably change into my jamjams.”

Toriel grinned, hiding a smirk. “Yes, I should say you should! It would not do to sleep in a lab coat.”

Sans stood in the doorway. “you want us to leave you alone a minute, alph?”

“Uh… n-no! I’m… in bed, and I might as well stay in bed. You can just… hand me my pajamas from the wardrobe! I’ll put them on under the covers.”

Toriel regarded Alphys for a moment. “Doctor Alphys, you are exceedingly silly.”

“Aheh… guilty as charged! Could you…” She wiggled her feet. “Could you pull up the covers?”

Toriel chuckled and did so. Sans got Alphys’s pajamas from the wardrobe and passed them to her. “here. go nuts.”

At first, Alphys happily curled herself in the blankets, thrilled to be with her companions at bedtime and about to hear a story. As Toriel began her tale, however, she gradually slipped off her coat (and underwear!) and pulled on the pajamas she’d made for herself, with help, on Toriel’s sewing machine. She tried to be covert about it, but it wasn’t like Sans didn’t notice when her clothing dropped to the floor.

“Are you quite comfortable, doctor?” Toriel asked eventually.

“Oh, yes,” Alphys asserted. “I’m all comfy in my PJs. Go on, Toriel! I’m really… I’m really interested.”

None of them said anything else about how silly the situation was. They knew that would just subvert it. Until Toriel finished her story, turned off the light and arranged the covers neatly around Alphys, and Alphys asked, meekly, for a glass of water.

“A glass of water? Alphys, you are stretching me to the limit!” said Toriel with a sheepish grin.

“Aw, I know—I know that’s not true. You could stretch a really _long_ way before you reached _your_ limit!”

Toriel blushed and hurried off for the water.

“so this is how you romance a lady when you like her, huh?” remarked Sans. “pretend like you’re her kid?”

Now Alphys blushed. “W-well, if it’d work on anyone, it’d work on Tori, right? But I’m n-not even thinking of romance right now. I’m just… really enjoying the pampering!”

“fair enough. you got room in there for me?”

Alphys snorted in laughter. “You have your own bed, Sans!”

“yeah. guess i’ll head off to it.” He greeted Toriel as she returned with the water. “hey tori. thanks for the storytime.”

“It was my pleasure, Sans.”

He ambled down the hall, but waited a minute to listen from his doorway.

“Now then,” Toriel said. “Are you satisfied? Will you be able to sleep tight?”

“M-m-maybe just a good night kiss?” ventured Alphys.

There was a stern pause— no telling what looks were being exchanged. Then, after a good ten seconds, Sans heard the sound of a gentle kiss.

“Thanks! I kn-know I’ll sleep well now!”

“You had better. Good night, doctor.”

“Good night, Tori! Sweet dreams!”

“Sweet dreams to you too, my child.”

Heh. Did Tori realize what she’d just called her?

Sans didn’t have any dreams that night, sweet or bitter. He slept like a stone.

[&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like Toby Fox (apparently), I prefer to use the word ‘roleplay’ unhyphenated, as I think it’s an important enough concept to warrant its own unified word. But Sans doesn’t feel quite the same way, so he hyphenates. (And we know from Scene 25 that Sans is aware of punctuation.)


	36. Relics of the Past

 [+]

**Scene 36: Relics of the Past**

_or_

“Memories”

 

* * *

 

**ENTRY NUMBER TEN**

* It’s been a long time since my last entry, and it feels like even longer. Since I made Entry Nine, the leadership of the Kingdom of Monsters was toppled and my life has changed more than I ever thought was possible.

* Well, I guess that’s not true. I could be dead! You can’t have a much bigger change than that, can you?

* But I’m not living in Hotland anymore, I’m not reporting to Asgore anymore, and I’m not even the royal scientist anymore! I’m pretending to be, though. My boss doesn’t like it when I call myself  _her_ royal scientist, but she’s still royal in my book, so that’s what I’ll call myself!

* Oh, and did I mention I’m in love with my boss? So that’s another change. Maybe it’ll… get the work done?

* Last but not least, I’ve forgiven myself for helping the renegade human. It was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done, and I still cry for Asgore sometimes, but I’m pretty sure my tears are healing tears.

* Yet the SCIENCE MUST GO ON! Working conditions change, but the scientific endeavor never ends! So let’s get back to it!

* * *

“Well! A bedtime story, indeed. Where shall I begin? It has been so long…

“Very well. There was once a lonely old lady who had been practically alone for so long that she had begun to fear she would lose her mind. She had already befriended everyone in her little realm, but none of them had proven very deep, and their lives were sadly short. She dwelt in an old house she had helped to build long ago, when the whole of monsterdom had lived in her little realm. She had taken all the books from the ruined city and had copied each and every one onto fresh paper, and given them fresh bindings. She had repaired every part of her house until it was as good as new, and she had knitted a full wardrobe of clothing for herself, and when she had all the clothing she could possibly want, she knitted clothing for all the little monsters who lived in her realm, and they were grateful. But still they could not satiate her loneliness.”

“U—um!”

“Yes, Alphys?

“What did… what did the lady look like?”

“…She had horns and white wool and a kindly, clever smile. And while she refused to return to the world outside, she feared that she would lose her sanity without someone to share her life with. And then she heard from the turtles—for there were turtles in the Ruins in those days—that a strange creature had stumbled into the catacombs, and was helpless and huddled, much like a turtle herself.”

“Oh gosh.”

“Well, the lady went to meet this creature, and she found—to her surprise—that it was a human child! Now, this woman had had children of her own, and she missed them terribly. So she brought the frightened little girl to her home and made her as comfortable as she could. But the poor thing was terrified and would not come out of her room… even to speak to the lonely old lady!”

“W-was she scared of the lady’s pointy little teeth?”

“…Perhaps she was! But they were not very fearsome. Humans even have pointy teeth of their own! Did you know that? They simply remain inside when they close their mouths. But that is not a very great difference between people, is it?”

“N-no, it’s not.”

“Over the course of several days, the old lady was able to coax the girl out of her room, and the two lived happily together, if quietly. The girl’s name was Emma, and since she would not leave the house, the old lady taught her to knit. And she did knit! Thanks to her exceptional patience, Emma became a prodigious knitter. She even knitted a complete, one-piece outfit for herself, and when that did not quite fit, she knitted another one that did. And having witnessed that, the old lady could not simply stand by and allow her own prowess to go unchallenged. No, she knitted a tremendous robe for herself, as well!

“But did Emma allow that to stand? She did not. She decided that she would knit a cozy for the _entire house._ ”

“Oh gosh! Did she—did she ever finish?”

“Well, you see, before she was able to get very far, the spiders heard about what she was doing, and they paid Emma a visit…”

* * *

**ENTRY NUMBER ELEVEN**

* Back to project Soul Detector! Suzy had some good ideas in her letter, so I’ll start by jotting down some possible directions we could take things.

* She only sent me a 0.2 HDU sample of DT, though, so I don’t have much to work with. I’m curious what the smallest usable amount of determination is. Does it break down below a certain quantity? Does it form droplets, like water? Is there a relationship between the quantity of DT and the strength of attraction?

* Is it possible to shield DT so that it can’t be absorbed, but still attracts itself? Maybe a coating for each droplet, or something I can mix it with? Suzy may be working on this angle.

* She suggested using ‘artifacts’ that were in contact with the human children. Well, Toriel still has plenty of their clothes. In particular, she has a worn out old onesie that her third child knitted… if anything still bears a trace of her children, it’s that! But how could I use it to find the soul? Am I looking for traces of soul, or essence, or what?

* Do we leave behind pieces of ourselves on everything we touch?

* * *

“When we spoke in the coffin room at the castle,” said Toriel as they crossed the yard, “I remarked that it is customary among humans to bury their dead. There is a further custom among many to place a marker at the spot where the remains are buried. This marker typically bears the name of the dead, along with the dates of their birth and death.”

“Y-yes,” said Alphys, following along. “I’ve seen that in my comics.”

“There is a further custom to decorate this so-called ‘gravestone’ with flowers or objects of affection. In some households, human families who have lost loved ones will create similar markers in their own homes, far from where the remains of their loved ones are buried. By covering a piece of furniture with things related to their dear ones, they are able to keep their memories close to their hearts.”

“I—I think I’ve seen that too!” said Alphys. “There was an anime where a girl lost her mom… and they m-made a—what did they call it? A shrine to her. In their hallway.”

“That is it exactly! A shrine. My children told me about such things, and I have sometimes considered making shrines for them. Asgore and I _did_ construct a memorial fountain for our own dear son. But for those who have passed through this house, it has always seemed to me that the house _is_ a shrine. It preserves my memories of them all.”

“Oh. But… b-but Toriel! Wh-who wants to live in a shrine?”

Toriel smiled to Alphys. The mistral was blowing low that day, and it was chilly; she adjusted her scarf. “I was content to live in one myself, until now! I was the keeper of ghosts… of voices and spirits long departed from my walls. There was a sadness underlying life, and I was prepared to accept that.”

“But… but you’re not anymore?”

“Well, I am not living alone anymore, am I? I may have the right to accept sadness for myself, but I hardly have the right to force it upon you or Sans. Especially when sadness is the last thing either of you needs.”

Alphys looked up at the old, crumbling, leafless tree. “Is that why you brought me here? To this tree?”

Toriel gestured toward it. “This tree is the closest thing I have to an actual shrine. I have kept it here long after it died because it seemed to symbolize something to me. It declares the flavor of my home. ‘This home is one of grief and loss,’ it says. ‘Do not expect any joy you find there to be untinged.’”

“But Toriel!”

“I know, dear one. You would like your joy to be untinged with sadness!”

“I—I want _your_ joy untinged too!”

Toriel smiled wistfully. “Well, then. Perhaps I am ready. Recently it occurred to me that perhaps we  _should_ construct shrines for those we have lost. I suggested the idea to Sans, and he… seemed receptive.”

“Did it… make him sad?”

“Alphys, I believe that he is always sad. It is not always on the surface, and it is not the only thing he feels. But there is always sadness in him.”

“I… I think you might be right.”

Toriel paused. “I admired the way you cried, when we came back from Snowdin Town. Did I tell you that? Faced with the harm you had done, you broke down, and you realized your own worth, and it was as if the sadness had found an outlet and flown from you. If there is any way to let Sans’s sadness escape… or mine… perhaps it is to make it visible and solid. Will you join me in building shrines, dear Alphys?”

The scientist nodded and tightened her own scarf. “I will! I think that’s a great idea.”

Toriel stared at the tree’s upper reaches. “Then we shall have to make a list. Perhaps we should brainstorm. I know that you are skilled at brainstorming… perhaps you can guide us through the process.”

Alphys grinned sheepishly. “Well… there’s really not much to it… but I’ll help out however I can!”

Toriel nodded and took a chilly breath, but her eyes remained simply on the tree.

* * *

**ENTRY NUMBER TWELVE**

* Before I can start working on anything else, I have a problem! I still don’t have most of the equipment I used to have, and I haven’t been able to rebuild it yet. So to an extent, this project and all my other projects depend on rebuilding all the stuff I left behind.

* And that  _is_ my main priority, but I still want to put in some work on Project Soul Detector on the side!

* …Especially in light of a major discovery. Remember the flower I lost back during the barrier project? We think we’ve found it. It turns out it was… holding the essence of Toriel and Asgore’s long-dead son?

* We think he’s still out there somewhere, in flower form. Toriel and Papyrus both saw him.

* If I want to run tests on anything, though, I’ve got to build up a testing battery. I’ve been looking into molds and mosses! Some of them behave differently when exposed to magic or radiation.

* Well, maybe ‘behave’ isn’t the right word. Mosses and molds don’t really ‘behave’. But you know what I mean! So I’m gathering a garden to see which ones I can use.

* * *

“…and the first thing he said to the lonely old lady was, ‘Out of my way!’”

“B-before you, I mean she, even introduced herself?”

“Yes! He did not care that she had come to greet him. He was not interested in being friends, and he was not afraid of her in the slightest—he simply wanted to press onward and return home. The old lady followed him, but it was not until he reached the end of the catacombs and could find no way forward that he even stopped to talk.”

“Th-that’s not very polite.”

“You are telling me! But he was only a child, after all. So the old lady told him that it was not safe to leave, and would he be willing to stop a while and talk things over? He was a stubborn child, but when he realized he could not proceed, he became cordial with the old lady, if not friendly. He said that he was called Biff. When she asked if that was a typical human name these days, he said that it was the sound his fist made when it struck someone in the face!”

“Oh my god. Did he actually try to punch you?”

“Thankfully, no. Biff was all bravado. Well, no, that is unfair. He did possess genuine bravery. It was difficult teaching him not to hurt the small monsters, however. He became frustrated that I would not—I mean, that the old lady would not let him out of the Ruins.”

“toriel. are you saying these stories are about you? i had no idea.”

“You were well aware from the beginning, Sans.”

“no seriously, you’re such a good storyteller i just got drawn in. so it was you the whole time. boom. bombshell. i’m in disarray.”

“Sans, you are in perfect array! I suppose we will dispense with this fiction, then. Alphys is constantly asking me questions like ‘What did the old lady’s voice sound like’ and ‘What was her most appealing feature,’ and I am becoming embarrassed!”

“Sorry, Toriel! I didn’t m-mean to embarrass you! I just think your reading glasses are really attractive!”

“I am skeptical on both those counts as well. But anyway. Where was I?”

“You had to teach Biff not to hurt the other monsters?”

“Yes. He was a difficult child to tame, but he eventually became very loyal, with a bit of work…”

* * *

**ENTRY NUMBER THIRTEEN**

* Molds! I don’t want to hurt anyone, of course, so I’m not asking for volunteers. Too bad, since Moldsmals might react better to magic than ordinary slime or vegetable molds.

* And then there’s algae! I’ve brought some of that back from the pond, but I’m trying to make sure not to damage anyone’s environment by taking too much.

* I even feel a little bad about experimenting on the molds and mosses, but they… probably don’t care? About anything?

* In the past, penicillium has been the best mold for detecting magic. I think I’ve isolated some in the flaked-off paint in some of the old buildings!

* Easy enough to test… let’s just throw some magic at it and see what happens! I don’t really have any on-demand magic of my own, so I’ll go to Sans or Toriel and see if they can light it up.

* * *

The day Sans finally brought his television back from Snowdin, Alphys squeed so hard he worried about her. She kept offering to help him set it up, even though he hadn’t planned on getting around to that for a week or so. Eventually, once she’d spent a whole afternoon following him around and hinting, he relented. He shoved the thing into the hallway and let her take it to the foyer, where she sat tinkering for a good hour. They didn’t have a steady source of electricity yet, just batteries, but Alphys was more than willing to commit a few batteries to sharing her favorite show with her new family. Toriel and Sans walked quietly past while she was setting up, trading grins and glances at their companion and her renewed energy. Her tail was held high for hours, except whenever it slapped the floor in frustration at a technical glitch.

By the time the DVD slot was finally taking DVDs and the picture was steady, Toriel and Sans had secretly covered the living room table with cranberry sauce and rolls and salted mashed tubers. Alphys rose in triumph and turned around, only to discover that the loaded table had been slid into the foyer. She gasped. “What did you guys—are we going to eat in here tonight?”

“Of course!” said Toriel. “We are going to enjoy the presentation you are bringing us in style! How could we have our first viewing of your favorite television program without food?”

Alphys was delighted. “It smells great! Okay—let’s eat! B-but first, I want to tell you about what you’re about to see. Think of it as a… pre-show introduction!”

Sans dipped a roll in sauce and raised it to his mouth. “go ahead. i’m all ears.”

“I, too, am nothing but ears,” declared Toriel.

“W-well! In that case… oh, how do I begin? Let me introduce you to the… to the emotional masterpiece that is: Mew Mew Kissy Cutie!”

Toriel began spooning mash for herself. “I am enticed already. Is a Mew Mew a kind of monster?”

“You’d think! But… but no!” Alphys trotted to the table and held up a finger. “This is a television show made entirely by humans! For humans! About humans! Well… and the occasional c-c-cat girl? Which is… like a human but different? B-because I think humans like the idea of being different, but they don’t get to be very different most of the time, because their bodies don’t hold magic which means they have to stay in the one basic shape that works for them, instead of being… a-all different like us.”

“almost makes you feel sorry for ‘em,” remarked Sans.

“Yes! E-exactly. And, um… well, they don’t always take well to, um, differences either. Sometimes, if a human _is_ different, they don’t treat them very nicely. Be—because they think it means there’s something wrong with them?”

“I am aware of that aspect of human culture,” said Toriel. “But in a sense, are they not right? If humans can only thrive in one basic form, does that not mean that any human who deviates from that form is therefore imperfect?”

“W-well, no, not really! B-because I’m not just talking about physical forms.”

“You are speaking of personalities.”

“Yes! And… and also physical forms, I guess. Like… cat ears!” Alphys mimed having pointed ears of her own. “Just—keep in mind that human ears are rounder and grow on the sides, like this. They—they don’t have cat ears! That’s… that’s important to the plot.”

“no cat ears,” said Sans, crunching his roll. “got it.”

“But even if a human did happen to have the wrong kind of ears,” said Toriel, “they would be no less worthy of love.”

“Yes!” Alphys clumsily stepped toward Toriel, bumping the table. “Yes, you get it! And that… and that’s a big part of this show! It’s… one of the central themes.”

Toriel finished her bite of tubers and crossed her arms. “Well then! I look forward very much to seeing it.”

Alphys stood staring at her in a daze, hands dangling. Then she shook herself back. “Well! I guess I’ve babbled enough, haven’t I? I should start the show! Sorry, I’m just so excited that I finally get to show it to you guys! The last person I showed it to was… well, Mettaton, but he wasn’t… he wasn’t that into it.”

“I am certain that we will be fascinated by Mewtwo Kissing Cutie,” said Toriel.

“Um… it’s Mew Mew Kissy Cutie! And… well, I really hope you are! I’ll go ahead and start the show now. But don’t worry—I’ll explain things as they come up!” She pressed a button and dashed around behind the table as the title screen came up, followed by an energetic, colorful theme song.

“So many humans!” exclaimed Toriel. “Will we be meeting all of them in time?”

“Yes,” gushed Alphys. “We’ll get to meet _all_ of them! I’m so excited, Tori!”

Toriel extended an arm, her robe’s sleeve dangling, and clapped her hand to Alphys’s back. They held that pose vigilantly for quite some time as the story on the screen began to unfold.

Sans helped himself to some more cranberry sauce.

* * *

**ENTRY NUMBER FOURTEEN**

* It worked! The mold from the buildings must really be penicillium, or at least contain it, since Sans’s bone magic makes it quiver, and it doesn’t do that to the other molds.

* Some of the other molds died, actually, which is a little sad. But the important thing is, I can use this penicillium strain to test for the presence of magic!

* The penicillium is mightier than the sword? no never mind

* Meanwhile, the pond algae is reacting to light and ordinary radiation, so I think I can test for those again. Maybe not as finely as I’d like, though.

* As for LOVE… well, I met a Whimsun who volunteered, but I don’t think he really understands what LOVE is. Maybe… maybe I can get by without LOVE testing for now?

* * *

“We had a stage not far from here, in the room with the three pillars. Do you know the room I mean? Because of its nature, when Celine performed, she could be seen from all sides at once. And a monster sitting on one side would soon see her from all the others!”

“Th—that _is_ a weird room. And… she liked it that way?”

“She enjoyed the challenge! At first, she performed on a simple stage in the yard, in front of the tree. But one day, she said that she wanted a rotating stage! I did not have the ability to build one for her, so I suggested that she use the ambient magic of the pillar room… and she rose to the occasion splendidly.”

“She sounds like a real artist!”

“She put herself fully into every project she attempted. If that is not integrity, I do not know what is.”

“Were her shows… mostly dance?”

“Yes, Celine was a dancer by nature and by calling. But she would sprinkle little stories and tidbits into her shows, as children will. She had such ideas about the nature of things! I would occasionally bring her snow as a treat, but it would soon melt. It saddened her that no snow falls in the Ruins, and so she wrote a dance meant to call down the snow, and taught it to Whimsuns who performed it with her, all of them jingling tiny bells…”

“It sounds wonderful…!”

“they could’ve just moved to snowdin. snows all the time there.”

“You know very well that that was not an option. Celine often begged to visit Snowdin, but I was resolute in reminding her of the danger. She was a good child, and was therefore able to find ways to distract herself. It turns out, for example, that you do not need snow for skiing if you are creative…”

* * *

**ENTRY NUMBER FIFTEEN**

* Now that my diagnostics are back, I can start working on that last question from before—whether we leave some trace of ourselves on objects we come into contact with!

* Of course, it’s possible it’s not due to touching alone. Maybe  _caring_ about something leaves a trace. Being emotionally invested!

* Now, I left all my animes and comics behind, but I did bring one precious thing with me—my teacup that looks like a yellow lizard! It only kind of looks like me, but I care about it because it was a gift from Asgore.

* (Well, and because I used to serve Undyne tea in it. Alone, I just used it for soda—but Toriel doesn’t have any soda, so I’ve had to give that up.)

* So the question is, is there any way to distinguish an object I care about from one I’ve never seen before? Toriel has a bunch of teacups, so I got some out for comparison.

* I’m about to run a bunch of tests—let’s see if my cup comes out on top! I’m rooting for you, lizard cup!

* * *

The tree was Asgore’s. That was a certainty, one that had grown increasingly immutable over the last several days. The more Toriel let the idea tumble, the more she knew that the tree must be Asgore’s shrine. And so she decorated it accordingly. Sword and trident interlaced through the lower branches. Garlands of begonias, impatiens, coral bells—rare flowers all, but worth the sacrifice. A wreath of thorny vines. A ‘beard’ of thick moss. Pages from the ruined old history books that Toriel had long since copied—snippets of history that he himself had made. At the tree’s foot, a ring of golden flowers, freshly transplanted. And in the center of its trunk… his face. His beautiful face, carved into the old, dead tree with meticulous care, and nuggets of gold for eyes.

“what happens when the flowers die?” asked Sans.

“Then we will bring more,” said Toriel.

Some distance away, six stones were nestled lovingly in the ground, each with ample space from the others. Each was a different shape, with different minerals lending them distinct colors and textures. The three residents stood huddled over them for many a scattered hour discussing what should adorn them. Paint? Glitter? Cloth? Unlike Asgore’s shrine, which was finished in two days and a night, the six children’s stones sat slowly gaining decorations for weeks. One day, Toriel would have the notion to place a skirt of chiffon around Celine’s grave, and would get out the sewing machine. Or Alphys would figure out a way to cast bullets out of brass and ask whether they could somehow be incorporated into Mickey’s stone, and that would be their morning. The six stones grew in grandeur over time, as children should. As had their relationships with Toriel, once upon a time. They would never get to grow up, but at least their memories would.

On the other side of the yard sat a slab of rock carved in the shape of a bed crafted in the shape of a sportscar. On it sat little action figures made of wire and cloth or painted wood. A small bucket of bones from the cadavers of non-monstrous animals. A poem, written on folded paper and stuck under the recreation of an electrified maze, replaced with a new poem whenever it decayed or blew away. An engraving at the foot of the bed: ‘cool dude’. Four bedposts carved in the shape of bones, around one of which was wrapped a red scarf.

At various times of day, one might find a spider or two sitting on the shrines, or regarding them from a short distance. They spun webs from various places in Toriel’s yard. One stretched perpetually over Emma’s grave: delicate, beautiful and perfect, it shimmered with dew each morning. But over the other shrines, no web was ever spun.

* * *

**ENTRY NUMBER SIXTEEN**

* It’s almost scary to write, but when I filled my lizard cup with penicillium, it vibrated slightly. Not much, but there was definitely vibration. Toriel’s cups may have induced vibration too, but my diagnostic rod was inconclusive.

* I need a better rod! But it’s clear my cup has more magic, or a different kind of magic, than any of Toriel’s.

* But is it  _my_ magic? Hard to test. I know I  _have_ magic—all monsters do—but I can’t release it on command like so many can. I don’t cast spells—I do science!

* Science can’t be magic, can it? It has to be replicable—that’s a fundamental constraint! And magic is what defies replication.

* But… Gaster used to think the way I  _do_ science might be magic. Maybe it’s time to… finally look into that?

* * *

“He sounds a lot like me. I mean… like the way I used to be. When I was little.”

“Do you know, Alphys? There is something I envy you. I hope it is not too uncouth of me to say it.”

“N-no! It’s fine. I don’t have that much worth envying, so…”

“You have a wealth of enviable qualities. But what I envy right now is the fact that you remember your childhood. My own was so long ago that it is nothing but a sparse gallery of images and scents, so far removed from reality that I cannot be sure whether they are genuine or fabricated.”

“My… my memories? Oh, Tori… I’m sorry you can’t remember being a kid. But… but you don’t want _my_ memories. With me, you’re not really missing out.”

“I take it that you were not a happy child. Perhaps you will share that with me in time. But you have a continuum of experience from your early days to the present, do you not? You understand what has made you who you are. I sometimes feel as though I were made fully formed, a mystery even to myself. You have clues, and answers!”

“I… I guess? I guess my life tells a story. But it’s not a very nice story, all in all.”

“I am sure it is nicer than you realize. If only Horace were with us, he would write your story down, and he would do it more thoroughly than I could, despite my years. He was possessed of amazing perseverance. And he was humble—you must realize that. It is easy to think that anyone with great ambitions must be full of himself, bigheaded. But Horace was not. He wished to record the facts about everyone around him because he realized how important they were. Compared to the entirety of the Underground, much less the entirety of the world, Horace was small, and he knew it well.”

“I—I feel really small most of the time. Sometimes I even make a game out of it! I sit there and I try to make myself seem as small as I can. If I’m really in the right frame of mind, I can make myself feel smaller than a marble!”

“Alphys, you have the strangest pastimes. But you are certainly humble as well. Perhaps too humble.”

“And Horace was just right?”

“I would say he was! He would dress in simple clothes, but he always took good care of them, and whenever they developed a hole, he gave them to me to be mended. He respected me… as a trusted senior colleague, I think, more than as a mother. But I still think of myself as his mother, and I was glad for any love he was willing to give.”

“I’ll bet! So… tell me more about this big ethnography he wanted to write?”

“My dear son imagined that if his fellow humans could only see our lives in detail, they would surely have no fear of us. In order to achieve this, he asked every monster he met the same set of questions, and wrote down their answers in his beloved notebook…”

* * *

**ENTRY NUMBER EIGHTEEN**

* I feel like maybe it’s time I took Entry Seventeen out of retirement… but no. Not yet. He has a shrine now, but he’s still with me every day. Maybe literally! No one knows what really happened to him.

* Anyway! I tried the penicillium in bed. I mean, I slept with it! I mean, I put a strip of it around my body while I slept. No noticeable increase in vibration.

* Then I tried exercising with it! I haven’t exercised so hard since the big hopscotch game against Loox! No effect. Still too early to rule out exercise or sleeping, but…

* Here’s the real news! I tried wearing the band while I worked on my secret project. Because why not, right? When I stopped and checked the vibration level, it was up 13.5 Hz!

* ## SCIENCE IS MY MAGIC. ##

* * *

At first, anime night was just once a week. The three of them didn’t want to get too invested in something that was merely entertainment, and Alphys admitted it was all too easy to get hooked and let everything else fall by the wayside. They held faithfully to their schedule, exchanging occasional asides about what would happen in their show. Alphys did her best not to give spoilers, but she occasionally couldn’t help herself.

Eventually, though, they all grew fond of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie. Toriel made an offhanded remark about whether it would be shameful to sneak in another episode after dinner… and then Alphys got so excited there was no going back. Sans wasn’t one to keep anyone from doing what they wanted to do, and Alphys was excited to see what the others would think. So from then on, anime was the focus of the evening more often than not, and the three friends grinned abashedly at each other, soaking in the camaraderie of their shared vice.

“if she goes through with this, she’s gonna regret it,” remarked Sans in the darkened room.

Toriel held two fingertips nervously in her mouth to disguise a smile of embarrassment for the protagonist. “I cannot imagine any way this will not end in chaos.”

“W-well, maybe!” said Alphys. “But just…. just think how much worse it would have been if she’d MISSED the kiss!”

“not sure it would’ve been,” opined Sans. “at least then he’d know what she really is.”

“Well, but!” Alphys replied. “Then he’d tell everyone at the school! And th-they might make her leave!”

“Perhaps it would be for the best,” reflected Toriel. “Mew Mew is not yet mature enough to comprehend the consequences of her powers. Would it not be beneficial for all if she were removed from the presence of other children?”

“N-no! She—she loves other children! She’d be so lonely if she couldn’t go to school with them!”

“but she is kinda messing with their lives.”

“And they have been exceptionally unkind to her based merely on her appearance.”

Alphys tugged on her headspikes. “You guys don’t know how to watch anime! If they took her out of school it’d spoil the whole show!”

Toriel frowned. “I am sorry, Alphys! I would like to become better at watching anime.”

“Oh… uh, well then… I guess the thing to do is just… assume everything works according to a kind of… anime logic? It doesn’t have to make real world sense… it just has to make sense in the story we have!”

Toriel grimaced skeptically. The boy on screen was gesturing broadly to the crowd in the outdoor school bleachers, dressed snazzily and holding a small torch. Subtitles explained that the performance they were about to see would stick in their minds even when they were shriveled cores hunched over in a nursing home, a performance that would put the rest of the talent show to shame! Sans and Toriel had found subtitles challenging at first, but by now they were well accustomed.

“But is she not putting Hayami’s life in danger?” pushed Toriel.

“It’s a shoujo anime! She’s not gonna die… just maybe get hurt? I… I hope that’s not a spoiler! Maybe it’s better if you think Hayami _might_ die!”

“I am not fond of death. I am just as happy knowing it will not occur.”

Hayami, Mew Mew’s perennial rival, smiled to the crowd in her flashy protective suit and climbed into her cannon. The boy, who had previously loaded the cannon with far too much powder, struck a pose and brought his torch near the fuse, still working the crowd. Mew Mew, watching from the bleachers, crossed her legs and grinned in anticipation.

“you think it’s gonna work, tori?”

“I am afraid to speculate!”

“I just want to say,” said Alphys, “it’s so much fun watching this with you guys!”

With a thunderous boom, the cannon fired the girl off into the sky, where she disappeared with a twinkle. The crowd went wild; the teachers stood up and started shouting. “She’s gone! She disappeared!” “Where will she come down?”

One of Mew Mew’s friends poked her on the shoulder. “Did you  _see_ that? Do you think she was meant to go so high?!”

“I wouldn’t put it past her,” said Mew Mew, staring at the boy, who still stood grinning like a showman on the field. “Hayami’s always out to impress people! Maybe she decided to become a real star in the sky.”

“This is going too far, even for Mew Mew,” huffed Toriel.

“W-well, I know she doesn’t look good here, but this is kind of her low point,” protested Alphys. “Don’t worry! She’ll learn her lesson!”

“Why is Ryuki just standing there?” asked Mew Mew’s friend. “Doesn’t he realize something went wrong?”

“Maybe he’s shocked by his own teammate’s talents,” Mew Mew replied.

“Mew Mew! Did you _kiss_ him?”

The catgirl blushed and lowered her ears. “Kiss Ryuki? You know I would  _never_ do that!”

Toriel’s ears were pressed even lower. “Mew Mew is fibbing.”

“yeah. that is one insecure kid.”

“And she is not getting away with it.” Toriel pointed at the screen, as if the action could be anywhere else. “Look.”

“Y-yep, Mew Mew’s in trouble now,” Alphys admitted. “But that’s what insecurity makes you do! If you’re insecure… you do desperate, dumb things!”

“you’d know all about that, huh?” said Sans.

“Um… yeah,” Alphys admitted, blushing. “But that’s kind of my point! The thing to do with an insecure person i-isn’t to make them do desperate things… it’s to… to draw them closer and h-help them feel better!”

Toriel stood up and walked over. “I believe I am coming to understand your point,” she said, setting her hands on Alphys’s shoulders.

“Ooh! Tori… could you… could you rub my shoulders a little? Just so long as your hands are there anyway…”

Toriel moved her fingers in careful circuits, pressing firmly against the cloth of the white lab coat. “I can hardly say no!”

Alphys pulled her heels up and raised her tail at the sensation. “Oooh… Tori…”

“I am only hoping to make you feel more secure, doctor.”

Sans reached for his tub of popcorn. “you guys planning to be more entertaining than the show?”

They both faced him, Toriel with a scowl and Alphys with a grin.

“W-w-well… if a beautiful lady wants to give me a sh-shoulder massage, I’m not going to turn her down!”

“Please continue watching the show, Sans. There is nothing to see here.”

He turned back to the screen and took another handful of popcorn. “whatever you say, tori.”

Alphys glanced back over her shoulder with a hopeful grin. Toriel’s scowl softened just slightly.

* * *

**ENTRY NUMBER NINETEEN**

* So Gaster was right. When I do science, I’m really using my own personal magic. That seems like the only sensible conclusion. It feels like a paradox, but on reflection, I think it makes sense.

* I’ve always been proud and a little amazed at how fast I can tinker stuff together that actually works. Other people need to make endless revisions and iron out bugs and try dozens of methods… but somehow I… usually get it right on the first try?

* That doesn’t mean my inventions aren’t real technology, though! And it doesn’t mean my science isn’t real science. I may have magical help in choosing my methods, but so long as you can replicate my results without magic, they’re genuinely scientific! It’s not like someone writing with a pen and someone writing with a chisel can’t do the same kind of research.

* I don’t know why this makes me happy. You’d think I’d be prouder if I were really doing it all without magic… like I’d be more worthy that way. But for some reason, I just keep breaking down in giggles!

* * *

“That beam,” said Toriel, pointing, “and that wall, and the shelf in the kitchen. Plus all the wallpaper in both rooms had to be reapplied.”

“Gosh.”

“lucky thing she never got the whole house, huh?”

“Yes. It is fortunate that none of Natalya’s fires burned down this house, for I have so many memories stored within it that such an event might have broken my heart. I mean that literally.”

“You… think you might have died of sorrow?”

“I might have! Raising Natalya for those three long years was perhaps the hardest thing I have ever done. Harder than leaving Asgore… harder than adapting to life underground… certainly harder than being thrown from the castle by the empress and forced to trudge home again.”

They walked back to Alphys’s bedroom. “how do you do it, tori? where do you get all your fortitude?”

“I have a deep reservoir. I believe it was filled by my parents as they raised me, and when I came to understand how difficult a job I had made that.”

“No! Y-y-you were a difficult child?”

“I was exceptionally fond of challenging authority and testing limits. And do not forget, I was learning how to play with fire.”

“so i guess you figured with this girl, you were getting what you deserved.”

“Precisely. Being human, Natalya had no magic of her own, but you would not have known that, seeing her at work. She had an amazing aptitude for creating danger where there was none. It was not merely her propensity for fire. She would stack objects precariously or bend springs to the point of snapping. She enjoyed cooking, and was always engaged in ill-conceived experiments. I confess that I did learn a few things from her cooking, mostly involving vinegar. Most of her dishes, however, were not fit for consumption.”

“so you started taking her outside.”

“Well, I did not want her to destroy our home! She needed space. But once I had introduced her to the greater Ruins, she simply found greater ways to get in trouble. She bonded quickly with the spiders, bringing them food from our cupboard out of kindness, or staying with them when they were ill. She swung capriciously from their webs, which once led to her breaking an arm, and once a leg. She would find ways to tumble walls or set whole buildings on fire. More than once, I had to run to save her, roused from bed in the middle of the night.”

“Oh, wow. You must feel lucky that she didn’t die. Oh—well, I mean…”

“She survived three years of my harried care and unconditional love, despite dozens of close calls. She did not survive two days in the kingdom at large. Even though I had prepared her by taking her camping.”

“you camped out in the ruins, huh?”

“We camped in the hollow old buildings! It was her idea. We would build tremendous bonfires and roast marshmallows. The fires would occasionally char my wool, but Natalya would just rub it playfully and give me a kiss to make it better.”

“isn’t that more your job than hers?”

“Like all my children, Natalya was remarkable. Raising her may have been the hardest thing I ever did… but the sweetness of her hugs and kisses made it all worthwhile.”

“E-even though…?”

“Even though.”

* * *

**ENTRY NUMBER TWENTY**

* So, back to the original question, which is  _still_ just one prong in the whole project: What makes objects retain magic from the people that use them?

* If the answer really is ‘doing magic’, and my cup is more magical than Toriel’s cups because I used to do science while sipping from it… well, that should be easy to test, right?

* Doing science isn’t straightforward, though! There’s a method, but the pieces of the method move in spurts! So it may take me a while to determine whether the cup’s magic grows along with the science I do.

* Preliminary tests suggest it really does—it’s up another 6.7Hz on the penicillia scale! But I’ve got to try this with multiple objects, multiple types of activity, and multiple testing agents—the pond algae was looking promising!

* But the real problem this raises is… how do we find HUMAN souls if the only thing that leaves a trace behind is magic, and humans can’t do magic?

* Unless things like Natalya and her fires really are magic? Could it be that everyone has magic… and with humans, it’s just more hidden?

* * *

She had killed them. There were other ways to view it, but Toriel did not choose to take solace in that fact. She knelt before the twin stumps, the face carved into each partially obscured by the handle of the battle-axe lodged in the other, and asked for forgiveness.

Had she not traveled to the capital and installed herself as queen, poor Dogamy and Dogaressa would not have died. They would have loyally continued to serve their next master—Undyne or Gerson or whoever else it might have been. She had given them an alternative. They had placed their lives unhesitatingly at her service, and she had accepted them gratefully. But her alternative had been unsound. She had not been accepted by monsterkind, and they had paid their lives as the price. Long ago, she had presided briefly over squads of fighters before the might of the human forces had driven them underground. Those warriors had given their lives while fighting under her. But they had not been fighting for Toriel personally; they had been fighting for all monsterkind. Never before had anyone given their lives for Toriel, herself. It was that simple, and that heartbreaking.

“how’s it going?” asked Napstablook, lingering nearby.

Toriel, who had been kneeling prostrate, pulled herself up. Her face was matted with tears.

“oh… i’m interrupting. sorry… i thought maybe you’d just found a new way to feel like garbage… then again, maybe you did…”

“No,” said Toriel, facing her friend. “Not a new way. A very old way.” She shut her eyes in pain.

“were you crying because it all seems hopeless?” asked the ghost.

“No, my friend. I am crying for the short-lived captains of my guard.”

“oh… the dogs. right. i should have known… because that’s their faces carved into the stumps… not to mention the hearts with their initials…”

“And they have been soaked in dog residue,” said Toriel, “to recreate something of their scent.”

“ohh… i can’t actually smell anything… i’m sure i’d appreciate it if i could…”

“Did you know them any better than I did?” asked Toriel.

“not really… i mean, i knew they were professional class nose nuzzlers… i tried nose nuzzling myself, just to see if i could do it…” They settled a little into the ground. “i couldn’t…”

“Were they! Oh, my poor captains. Their souls must have been so steeped in love.”

“it’s sad that they’re dead, i guess…”

“They were the realm’s most loyal servants. And I led them astray.”

“but i thought undyne was the one who killed them? i mean, i wasn’t really watching at the time…”

“She did. But I am not dwelling on Undyne presently. I am dwelling on my own part in things.”

“oh. i guess you feel like it was all your fault?”

“Perhaps not _all_ my fault,” replied Toriel. “I have come to believe that I was right to return after Asgore’s death. But this shrine… reminds me that there was a price.”

The ghost hovered closer. “would it help if i cried with you a while?”

Toriel inhaled tenderly. “Yes, please, if you would.” She held up a hand. “But first, please be aware of one happy thing.”

“do you want me to think of something happy for you? because i’m not good at thinking things up under pressure…”

Toriel conjured up a smile through her tears. “On the last morning of their lives, they had hot buttered pancakes. I was able to give them that.”

Napstablook rose a little. “oh. that is a nice thought. did they like them?”

“I know for a fact that they found them scrumptious. They even licked their lips. In tandem.”

“oh… okay. i can put that into the cry. that’s a good one.”

“My thoughts exactly,” said Toriel, taking a deep breath.

So the two of them remembered a pair of noble canine warriors, and their cry was one of strong sadness, adulterated only by the sweet buttery tinge of pancakes lovingly administered in the morning.

On the far side of the lawn, nearly covered by roots, a low black obelisk bore witness to this purging of feelings. On it sat a small vase of plants Alphys had deemed scientifically interesting, including a swath of the penicillium she’d found in the peeling paint of the old buildings. Two holes that naturally occurred in the round-topped obelisk had been painted white. In one sat a broken pocket watch, springs and gears open to the corrosion of time. In the other, recreated lovingly from an old book Sans had retrieved from the Core’s library, folded neatly, lay a black handkerchief embroidered with the brightest stars in the night sky, as it had been last viewed by monsters nearly five thousand years ago.

The inscription along the stone’s bottom began with a circled cross and ended with a black raindrop. To the initiated, it read: W. D. GASTER—REST IN PIECES”.

* * *

**ENTRY NUMBER TWENTY-ONE**

* Emma’s onesie is more magical than most of the clothes in Toriel’s closet, according to the penicillium. It’s a lot less magical than Toriel’s robes, though!

* That could be because she spent time around it, or because she did some sort of magic, or put effort into it, or for some other reason entirely! We don’t know.

* If only we had some humans around, we could test what exactly it takes for them to leave magic behind on an object. As it is, all we have is monsters! It’s been almost a year, and so far, magical residue is the only kind I’ve been able to detect on anything. And Suzy’s experiments trying to make ‘smart DT’ haven’t led to much either, aside from some new observations about green bullet behavior.

* After giving it some thought, I’ve decided to put this line of inquiry on hold pending further developments. It’s disappointing, but it may be that I just can’t figure out how to find a human soul without a human!

* I wish I had a human.

* * *

“…until eventually, the Vegetoids were allowed to reclaim their garden, and no one else was permitted to use it. I am not sure it was the best outcome for all concerned, but it was certainly the most just.”

“and justice was the only thing he cared about, huh?”

“That was how he wished it to appear. However, I came to suspect that when all hands were down, his own glory was the most important thing to him. He wished to always be the most important person in any room.”

“S-s-so why did he leave?”

“i’m guessing he wanted more important rooms.”

“That is precisely it. He wished to bring justice to the Underground. To make the ‘evil-doers pay.’ And when I refused to let him leave, I became the enemy. For days I stood vigil over the exit, and all the while Mickey roused a campaign against me in the streets of the city. He wore his lucky hat and his favorite clothing, or ‘duds’ as he called them, and did his best to convince the monsters I was guilty of ‘obstruction of justice.’”

“Gosh! Was anyone convinced?”

“Some of the more impressionable Whimsuns, along with a pair of firebrand Migospels. They led a march toward my home, making such a racket that I feared he had roused the city against me, and I was soon to be undone.”

“Wh-what happened?”

“They arrived and read me my rights, a list Mickey had largely invented. When still I refused to move, he conducted a trial against me. The Migospels served as witnesses and the Whimsuns as audience. It was rather surreal.”

“You must have been scared!”

“I was! In the end, he found me guilty and sentenced me to be shot. It was only when he finally pulled the trigger and a hole appeared in my side that I finally relented. I yelled and pled, but I moved aside… and he proceeded proudly through the door. To his doom.”

“Aw, Toriel! Shot by your own child?”

“By an imaginary bullet. Such is the force of the human will. Fortunately, it healed within a month.”

“Wow. We _really_ would stand a better chance of escaping the Underground if we only had even _one_ human on our side!”

“uh. hey alph?”

“Y-yes?”

“…let’s talk tomorrow, ok?”

“Okay, Sans. Um… good night?”

“nighters. thanks for the story, tori.”

“Anytime, Sans. It is a relief to finally be done telling you about my children.”

“A-and I’ll start thinking about how to roleplay as them. Oh, and, um, Tori?”

“Yes, Alphys?”

“C-could I have a goodnight kiss?”

“Oh, Alphys. You are incorrigible.”

Toriel bent and kissed Alphys on the forehead before turning off the light, leaving the room and closing the door.

* * *

**ENTRY NUMBER TWENTY-TWO**

* Sans and I are close enough now that he’s started telling me secrets. And he told me a secret just now that he never told anyone before. I can hardly believe it!

* The Underground actually has a human!!

* I’m so excited. This could actually be it. If this works out, we could actually go free.

[====================================]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The frequency unit Hz stands for Heelz. Because vibrations are healing! You know?
> 
> I did say Chapter 16 would very likely be the longest in the story. Well, by my count, this one is twelve words shorter! (Wait, how long is this Author’s Note?)
> 
> Back in September, reader Barbacar asked whether I take requests. I told him that if he gave me a sentence, I’d be glad to include it somewhere in my story. He came back with, “With a thunderous boom, the cannon fired the girl off into the sky, where she disappeared with a twinkle.” Now, just seven and a half months later, here we are! You’re welcome, Barbacar.
> 
> UNDERTALE: No, you’re welcome, author!
> 
> AUTHOR: Oh hey! Undertale! There’s something I was meaning to ask you.
> 
> UNDERTALE: Yes?
> 
> AUTHOR: So… Dogamy and Dogaressa got second place in the nose nuzzling championship in ‘98, but finally make 1st place in the credits, now that Toriel and Asgore, who have a 1st place trophy in the event, are broken up. And according to the calendar in the Genocide route, the first human fell in 201X.
> 
> UNDERTALE: Right.
> 
> AUTHOR: So does that mean the Dogi, who certainly don’t seem to be old, were already a couple seventeen years before the first child fell?
> 
> UNDERTALE: Seems like it!
> 
> AUTHOR: But that only leaves, like, fifteen years at most for all the children to have fallen, leading up to Frisk! Was Toriel really only in exile for fifteen years? How could so many monsters have forgotten her? How do they not know what humans look like if so many have come through the Underground during their lifetimes?!
> 
> UNDERTALE: Hey, I do a lot of things well. Timelines? Not so much.
> 
> AUTHOR: Okay, screw it, I’m making Toriel’s exile nine hundred years long. The trophy can be from a -dfferent- ‘98!
> 
> UNDERTALE: Suit yourself!
> 
> DOGI: But then who did we originally lose the nose nuzzling championship to, if not Asgore and Toriel?
> 
> AUTHOR: I’m gonna say… Icecap and Vulkin?
> 
> UNDERTALE: Well that sounds plausible.
> 
> AUTHOR: Thank you!


	37. The Pursuit of Beauty

 [+]

**Scene 37: The Pursuit of Beauty**

_or_

“Dating Tense!”

 

* * *

  
Seventy-eight days after the Accession of Undyne, Toriel sat reading while the fire crackled beside her. Alphys, who had that day finally managed to get a wind-powered generator working from the roof of Home’s highest building, was in triumphant spirits as she walked in. She paused at the door to the living room just to admire Toriel, then approached with a guilty smile already on her face.

“Hey Toriel?”

Toriel favored her with a familiar beatific look that communicated how happy she was to see her housemate. “Yes, Alphys?”

“I-it’s getting kind of hot in here,” said Alphys, swinging her tail toward the fire. “D-don’t you think you should… roll up your sleeves?”

Toriel glanced with surprise at the fire and back. “It is not unusually warm,” she observed. Then an accusatory look spread suddenly over her features. “You are only seeking to look at my bare arms!”

Alphys clutched her hands and fidgeted. “Um… well, would it… would it be so horrible if I were?”

Toriel scowled. “You are asking me to behave indecently! I do not know how to react.”

“It’s… it’s not indecent to roll up your sleeves! I—I do it myself sometimes!”

“I am not against letting you see my arms in principle, but I am uncomfortable with the idea of baring myself for you.”

“But…” Alphys stood grinning with one foot grinding meekly into the other. “I think it’d be really sexy if you rolled your sleeves up.”

Toriel stared at her. “Do you think being ‘sexy’ is any of my concern?”

“Well of course it is! You’re the s-sexiest person for miles around.”

Toriel turned with a huff back to her book. “You may imagine my arms if you wish. I assure you, there are no surprises.”

Alphys stepped forward eagerly. “Imagination is great, but it’s no substitute for the real thing!”

Toriel’s ears pulled back as she looked back at the doctor. “Alphys, I am asking you to respect my personal choice!  _Please_ do not ask me again.”

Alphys opened her mouth for a playful rebuttal, then stopped short. She looked at Toriel with mounting fear. She looked at herself. She looked at the whole situation.

“ _Oh god!_ I’m—I’m sexually harassing you! Oh jeepers. I’m—I’m so sorry, Toriel. I never want to harass you! Um… I’ll go away now.” She averted her eyes as she hurried from the room. “I’m sorry! I’ll never ask to see your arms again!”

Alphys didn’t leave her room for the rest of the night. Sans knocked at the door at one point to invite her to dinner, but she declined, muttering about being too embarrassed and ashamed. Sans shrugged and left, and showed up again at her door a minute later with a plate full of food. Alphys took it gratefully and ate it sitting on her bed. She went to sleep wondering whether she’d spoiled things between herself and Toriel forever.

In the morning, she found a note under her door. “Dear Alphys. I would not want you to think that you may  _never_ ask to see my arms again. I simply hope that if you do ask again, you are willing to take ‘no’ for an answer. I hope to see you at breakfast! Sincerely, Toriel.”

Alphys was on her best behavior all day.

* * *

 

One hundred twenty-four days after the Accession of Undyne, Alphys set her scientific endeavors aside to write a love poem to Toriel. In it, she compared her graceful walk favorably to the magma tide and the mistral, concluding that only the flow of time itself could equal her evenness, and then only in the long term. She compared Toriel’s storytelling abilities favorably to the Rememberers, a traditional gantlet of storytellers from all the monster races who still greeted visitors to Asgore’s home. Only the greatest human historians and cartoonists, Alphys wrote, could rival her. She compared Toriel’s wisdom to that of the human king Donegan or the first monster king, Grendel. But when it came to disposition, she wrote, there was no one to compare Toriel to, and so the poem sadly had to end unfinished—a ‘misdeed’ for which Toriel was readily forgiven. Alphys went to bed flushed with pride at what she had written.

The next morning, she asked Toriel if she could accompany her on her walk through the catacombs to water the golden flowers. Toriel acceded, and Alphys bounced nervously all the way. She cleared her throat as her companion started to pour. “May I… may I read a poem?”

“A poem? Why Alphys! I did not know you wrote poetry.”

“Um… usually I don’t! I just… got inspired yesterday, and… out it came!”

“In that case, by all means!” said Toriel, attending to her work.

Alphys read her work as proudly as she could, but her delivery was halting and more than once she laughed nervously at her own discombobulation. At last, Toriel looked up accusingly and interrupted. “You are making fun of me, doctor!”

Alphys was taken by surprise. “N-no! I’m not making fun of you! I would… I would never do that…”

She smiled slyly. “So when last week, you offered to make Sans shoes with laces in the shape of my ears, so that he could have the pleasure of tying them in a bow, you were not making fun of me?”

Alphys blushed. “W-well, I guess I was… making fun out of the  _idea_ of you? B-but that’s not the same thing as… making fun  _of_ you.”

“I see. Well then, perhaps this poem is making fun out of the idea of me. That is all right—let it not be said I am unable to take a joke! Please continue.”

So Alphys did, but the idea that her heartfelt poem was a joke distracted her, and she did little more than mumble her way to the end. “Um… so. There’s my poem.”

Toriel was finished tending to the flowers now; she got off her knees and smiled to Alphys. “That was very amusing. Thank you for the entertainment. Shall we return?”

Alphys was too shy to ask whether Toriel had liked the poem, or to insist that it had been genuine, not parody. “Um… yeah! L…let’s go back.” She crumpled the paper in a ball, and once they got back home, she threw it in the fireplace.

Five days later, as they were sitting quietly in the living room after dinner, Toriel asked Alphys whether she thought Sans might like to hear the interesting poem she had written about her. Alphys squirmed in her seat. “Uh, sorry,” she said. “I didn’t keep it.”

“Oh. That is a pity!” said Toriel, her face falling.

* * *

 

One hundred eighty-one days after the Accession of Undyne, in order to celebrate a particularly balmy day, the three friends lounged at the entrance to the catacombs, drawing with chalk. They were joined by a few Whimsuns willing to drag the comparatively huge sticks with their tiny bodies. Alphys had already sketched the foundry of Home as she imagined it had once looked, and the original plans for the Core Gaster had once shown her, and the electric grid she someday hoped to build all across Home, gleaming with majestic power stations. Her mind was roving without limit! Having exhausted these ideas, the next drawing she made was of Toriel… sans clothing. She drew her removing a pie from the oven, wearing a light apron but otherwise bare from head to toe. A Froggit on the shelf looked on with a little exclamation point. Alphys giggled over her chalk drawing as she added details, completely forgetting that Toriel was nearby and capable of looking over to see what she was doing.

Which she did. Alphys didn’t see her initial reaction, but Sans later told her, “her mouth was just as round as her eyes. I didn’t know it got that round. she stayed like that for ten seconds—i thought she might’ve been stuck.”

But she was not stuck. Alphys felt a hefty hand on her shoulder and looked up to discover a mystified, horrified, flattered boss monster peering at her handiwork. “Doctor Alphys! What do you think you are doing?”

“Oh!! I’m… I’m sorry. I was just drawing… um… you!”

“So I see! But you seem to have left something out of your depiction.”

Alphys blushed. “Um… you mean, um… clothes?”

“Yes, that is precisely what I mean!”

“You’re—you’re right! Thanks for reminding me—I totally forgot to draw any clothes!” She hastily reached for the lavender chalk and sketched in a robe, outlining the familiar Delta Rune in blue, and then covered the arms with white sleeves. “Yep… aheheh… it looks a lot better this way. I knew I was forgetting something!”

Toriel’s brows were low, her nostrils flared. “You were not forgetting anything. That drawing was exactly as you liked it.”

Alphys tittered uncomfortably. “Wh-what do you want me to say, Tori? Sorry—I just got a little c-carried away.”

“And so you decided to depict me undressed to all who enter these catacombs?”

“I—I didn’t really decide anything. I wasn’t thinking.”

“I think that you may have an unhealthy obsession.”

Alphys looked up pleadingly. “Is—is it really unhealthy to love someone?”

“Of course it is not, and you know it!”

“But then… is it really unhealthy to want to see the person you love… without anything hidden? To see them how they really are?”

A strong hand squeezed her shoulder. “We have had a nice outing, but perhaps it is time we made our way home.”

Alphys sighed and started gathering up her chalk. When would she learn to stay inside the lines?

* * *

 

Two hundred forty-six days after the Accession of Undyne, with Sans and Alphys out for the day, Toriel decided it was time to clean the kitchen. It had been too long, and the adventure of three people living in a small house had led to more than the usual rate of spills, footprints and accumulated grease. So she got out her bucket, mop, and scrubbing sponge and set to work. When Alphys returned from casting steel plates for her various devices in construction, she found Toriel in the kitchen on her knees, robe hiked and sashed at the thighs.  _Oh god_ , she thought, frozen in the next room.  _I can see her legs!_

They were sturdy and covered in fine wool, just as one might imagine them. It was the exact thickness of the ankles and knees that transfixed Alphys, to say nothing of the curve of the calves. What made this particular set of proportions so perfect, she wondered? Obviously they were flawless, but could one arrive at this shape from theory alone? Surely there was some logic that would lead there… but what could it be?

That was when Toriel glanced back and happened to see Alphys standing there. “Alphys! You are home!”

Alphys couldn’t help chattering her teeth, making it clear she was up to something. “Y-yep! Just got back! The… the plate casting is going well. Soon I should be, um… able to make cases and boxes the way I’m used to.”

Not surprisingly, Toriel was suspicious. “Doctor! Are you ogling me?”

“Um! I was… I was ogling a little, because… well, I don’t remember ever seeing your knees before, and… and they’re really nice knees!”

Toriel yanked her robe down and climbed to her feet. “Honestly! My knees are completely ordinary. There is nothing remarkable about them whatsoever!”

“B-but that’s what makes them so great! They’re perfect. They’re so perfect they make you forget a pair of knees could be any other way.”

Toriel sighed in consternation. She left the room and walked past Alphys. “I am going for a walk to clear my head. If you would like to finish scrubbing the floor, you are welcome to it.”

Alphys did scrub the floor. She was tired from her day of work, but she scrubbed and cleaned it so thoroughly it gleamed, just as flawless as what she’d seen for such a tantalizingly brief span. She knelt there on the floor for a few minutes, looking at her refection and imagining it was Toriel’s.

* * *

 

Two hundred ninety-seven days after the accession of Undyne, Alphys and Toriel sat in chairs they had moved to the foyer, clasping each others’ hands while tea steamed in their cups. Both had enjoyed successful days afield, and upon getting home, they had made tea and crumpets (Alphys liked hers with sassafras jelly and cinnamon), and now sat together in the foyer, speaking in a hush for no particular reason. The conversation had turned to childhood dreams, and thence to childhood fears. They had taken turns sharing, and had then fallen without trying into a roleplay in which Toriel portrayed a ward of the nursery where Alphys grew up, only infinitely more kind than they had actually been. It was as if Toriel was letting Alphys have the childhood she could and should have had, soothing the hurts of long ago and injecting love retroactively into her early life. At one point Alphys found herself choked up. She sat there, overwhelmed and unable to talk, and took in her own condition with amazement.

“Alphys, dear? Are you all right?”

A trace of laughter almost found its way from her throat, but it was swallowed up in the soothing blanket that coated all her emotions. “I… wow. This hardly ever happens to me.” She closed her eyes. “I’m so… Oh, Tori! I’m so happy that I’m.. I’ve gone right over the edge and I’m exhibiting physiological signs of sadness! Oh my gosh…”

“You are crying with happiness, doctor?”

“I’m—” Alphys sobbed sharply. “I’m crying with happiness! This is so rare! Tori, you’ve made me so happy… _so_ happy…” Alphys seized her tea and swallowed it in three smooth gulps—the temperature was perfect.

Toriel’s own face was streaked with tears—this state was more easily reached for her. “I am very glad that this exercise was able to do such good for you,” she murmured.

“It’s not just… not just the roleplay!” sobbed Alphys. “It’s you! It’s everything you do for me, and it’s… it’s this life… this wonderful life… oh, Tori! I love you so much!” Her hand squeezed the larger one harder. “I love you so, so much! I just can’t express how much I love you.”

Toriel clenched her jaws tight, made nervous by this effusive display. She spoke softly. “It gladdens me that you are happy, Alphys… and that I am the cause of your happiness. Aside from that, I do not know what to say!”

“You don’t need to say anything! You just need to… sit there and let me love you!”

Toriel swallowed, her eyes vulnerable. She did not speak. Alphys clutched her hand in both her own and stared in loving wonder. Toriel did not dare to finish her tea.

Time went by and Alphys had yet to release her hand. “Would you like to return to our game?” asked Toriel quietly.

“I’d like to, yes. But… but I’m not done loving you yet,” pled Alphys.

“Will you tell me when you are finished loving me?”

“Yes!” nodded Alphys several times. “Absolutely!”

“Then we shall sit in silence until then,” declared Toriel.

And they did.

* * *

 

Three hundred thirty-nine days after the Accession of Undyne, Alphys came into the house dancing as if with an imaginary partner, and for all that she could describe who was she dancing with, she might have said it was with science itself.

Toriel sat knitting in her chair, but she set down her shirt in progress (a clean white one, for Sans) and stared in disbelief when she saw the reptile twirl waltzing through the door. Rather than interrupt, she gave the spectacle the respect it deserved, which afforded Alphys enough time to spin about before Toriel’s chair and offer a gallant hand. Her movements were not graceful or well wrought, but they were executed in such earnest that Toriel found them utterly compelling nonetheless.

“Doctor Alphys, what has gotten—”

“Tori! Would you li—may I have this dance?”

In accordance with instincts shaped by years of graciousness and hospitality, Toriel rose from her chair and let herself be pulled into the doctor’s reverie. She took graceful, sweeping steps, letting her reach extend down with each maneuver, as was necessary if she was not to pull the diminutive lizard off the floor entirely. Alphys was flushed with delight.

This went on for a good minute before Toriel finally ventured to ask, “Doctor Alphys, what is the occasion?!”

The scientist grinned, arching herself dramatically upward for four steps before dropping her arms. “Oh, nothing! Just the biggest break in the barrier project since maybe the beginning!”

Toriel’s spirits stirred. This was good news, but she was always timorous about the idea of destroying the barrier, knowing how easily destruction and ruin might stem from it. “Alphys! What has happened?”

They kept dancing. “It’s Sans! He told me a secret he’d been keeping forever. He said I could tell you too, if you promised not to let it spread!”

Toriel swallowed as she performed a swing-out. “I will keep his secret,” she promised. “What is it?”

“You know how everything becomes a hundred times easier if we actually had a human in the Underground? Well, it turns out… we _do!_ Sans knows a—a so-called monster who’s actually secretly human! And he’s going to ask if he’s willing to help!”

Toriel felt blood rushing to her face and hands. “That is amazing, Alphys! I… confess that I am a bit nervous about this news. I had no idea. Is this human safe? Can he be trusted?”

“Sans says he’s safe. He doesn’t know if he’ll be willing to work with us, but he wouldn’t hurt anyone. I think it’s just a matter of privacy. And I can’t blame him—with Undyne’s army the way they are, if I were secretly human, I’d be paranoid too!”

The dance continued, though Toriel’s gusto was flagging. “But who is he? How does Sans know him?”

“He hasn’t told me yet, but apparently they’re old friends. It’s just such… such a shot of hope! It’s like I’ve been hit with a barrage of healing bullets!” Alphys laughed freely and led Toriel across the living room in a side step. “We could actually get out of here! All that… all that Empress Undyne is doing to break the barrier, and it’s going to be _us_ —the people in exile—who end up taking it down!”

Toriel repressed her laughter. “Alphys, are you not getting ahead of yourself?”

The lizard’s smile was as huge as Toriel had ever seen it, and whiter than her wool. “I’m completely getting ahead of myself! I love getting ahead of myself! It’s so much fun—you should try it!”

Now Toriel’s laughter escaped. She embellished the dance. “Very well, then! After we have broken the barrier, we will send a very nice gift basket to the humans. They will return a reply saying, ‘Our monster friends! We had no idea that you were still down there! We had thought that all of your beauty and diverse wonder was lost. We are so sorry for our forebears waging war against you. Let us make up again!’ And we will move into the spaces across the countryside and make homes for ourselves again among humankind.” She swung Alphys off the floor and set her in a chair, then whisked her up again. “We will rekindle all the warmth that once burned between our races, and there will be no conflict, only joy and camaraderie, and monsters will be trusted with human children, and everyone will wonder how we ever let ourselves remain apart for so long.”

Alphys squealed with pure joy. She cycled her legs, smacking the furniture with her feet, until Toriel set her triumphantly down in the easy chair. Both women were flushed, and each took a moment to regard the smile on the other’s face.

“W-wow, Tori! You’re… really good at getting ahead of yourself!”

“I am as surprised as you are! It is a pastime in which I seldom indulge.”

Alphys reached up. “You’ve got a really nice imagination!”

Not knowing what the doctor wanted, Toriel lifted her and cuddled her as a child in both arms against her bosom. “Perhaps! But it is nothing compared to yours, doctor.”

Alphys blissfully set her hand on one of Toriel’s breasts. “I guess I’m pretty good at dreaming stuff up. But you… your imagination is so perfect and pure! I wish—I wish you would use it more often.”

So here she was. She was holding a reptile in her arms who had chosen to touch one of her mammaries, as if to covet what she had never possessed. “Alphys, do you realize what your right hand is doing?”

Alphys looked at her hand in sedate shock, then drew it back. She blinked. “Oh! Oh, Tori, I—I’m sorry. Did that make you un—uncomfortable? I d-didn’t mean to…”

“It is no worry,” said Toriel, surprised at how unbothered she was. “I only wondered whether you realized.”

“I, uh.” Alphys blushed. “I wouldn’t t—I wouldn’t touch your, uh, breast without your permission. That was just an accident!” Her eager look and flipping tailtip, however, suggested that she dearly wanted more.

Toriel’s brows knit together. “And I suppose that you want permission?” she asked evenly.

Alphys hesitated only a moment before nodding eagerly.

What now? What good could come from this particular barrier coming down? But then again, were there not humans on the surface who might ask the same thing of the barrier imprisoning the monsters? Perhaps the dissolution of a barrier was a good in its own right.

“Please be gentle,” said Toriel. She almost could not believe the words had left her mouth.

But Alphys was gentle, so very gentle. She felt each shape through the lavender robe with the tender reverence of a mother tending to a baby, though her yellow jaw shook. Toriel did her best to remain serene.

“I cannot imagine why this gives you such pleasure, Alphys. But so long as it does, I am content.”

“I… I’m not sure I could say, either! It’s like… I guess it’s like… reaching into a gift basket to find the b-best stuff? But… but that doesn’t even… that doesn’t even come close to…”

“It is all right, Alphys. You need not explain.”

The nimble little fingers finally gave their quarry a double pat, then withdrew. “Thanks so much, Tori,” their owner murmured. “I don’t—I don’t suppose I could convince you to… to let me um… reach down your, um…” She drew back, hearing her own words. “Never mind. Forget I said anything. Thanks again.”

Inwardly, Toriel sighed. She did not wish to be groped. Feeling through cloth was one thing, but… “I am delighted by your excellent news, my friend. Thank for you sharing this moment with me.”

“Um… y-you’re welcome, Tori.” She wiggled a little, and Toriel set her down.

The two stood looking at each other, and Toriel felt there must be more to say. “I am so very fond of you,” she declared. “And yet…”

Alphys lifted her posture, waiting for the end of the sentence.

But it would not come. Toriel bowed her head, letting her eyes close and ears droop.

“Oh, Tori,” said Alphys sympathetically. Sadly.

“It is just so strange.”

“Oh Tori!”

She opened her eyes and walked into the kitchen.  _Be still, my fluttering heart. You are not hers. You will never be hers. You belong to the Asgore who once was. You belong to—_

She stood over her kitchen counter with moist eyes, knowing that she wanted to bake something, but lacking the first clue of how to begin.

[*=*=*=*=*=*=*+*+*++=++=++=++=++=++=++]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it isn’t clear, this chapter’s events are interspersed with those of the previous chapter.


	38. An Xmas to Remember

[+] 

**Scene 38: An Xmas to Remember**

_or_

“Oh! One True Love”  
  


* * *

  
There were no trees to be spared in the Ruins, and certainly no evergreens. It was therefore necessary to be resourceful for Xmas. Toriel owned an artificial Xmas tree that Celine had conceived of and helped her build. She had taken it out to be decorated in those years when she had a child, but for the long spaces between, she normally left it stowed away. Sometimes the small monsters used it for their own purposes, however. At this point, they were indeed in that habit, and Toriel was loathe to reclaim her tree if it meant denying them something to decorate. “We have no child to entertain,” she said. “We can keep Xmas in our hearts without need for a tree to look upon.”

Alphys hadn’t been ready to accept that, however. She had a laboratory to work with! She knew she could create a new artificial tree, so she set to work. Soon, though, she realized that the plans she’d come up with were too grand for their modest home, so she decided to give her giant tree to the monsters of New Home in exchange for Toriel’s smaller one. And then she decided to turn her efforts toward making new and better fake foliage for the tree… and various other structural improvements.

Sans actually got into the holiday spirit and managed to churn out a prodigious number of painted ornaments, though no one ever saw him do any more than lazily stroke a paintbrush over them in between sentences. His paint was probably dry half the time, yet Sans’ bin of ornaments kept getting fuller and fuller. Meanwhile, Toriel broke out her oldest, best recipes for Xmas cookies and started churning them out by the fourscore, delivering them to town with unstoppable determination, as if someone might be averse to her delivering sparkly sugar cookies to the populace.

The pile of gifts beneath the tree remained modest at first, mainly because the three residents decided that they would limit themselves to one gift each per person, lest that aspect of the holiday too get out of control. But Napstablook visited often enough to be worthy of gifts, and the spiders started leaving gifts on the doorstep, so gifts for them became warranted as well. Soon, the one thing that kept the growing collection from lofting the tree off the ground entirely was the fact that Alphys’s largest gift was one she worked on in secret, the one she called Project X. She kept it at the back of the Home warehouse she used for her laboratory, behind a sliding wall marked “PROJECT X: DON’T COME IN!” She’d thought of calling it “TOTALLY NOT SECRET PROJECT” to deflect suspicion, but decided in the end that transparency about non-transparency was the best policy.

The X in the project’s name stood for the unknown, of course. Mettaton had revealed on broadcast TV that Alphys had a crush on the unknown, which in a sense was true. And it also reflected the project’s secret status. But the X really stood for something else entirely—Xmas. And what did the X in Xmas stand for? Traditionally, according to the garbage that washed down from the surface, it was said to stand for Xristos, or Christ, one of the most important figures in human history, who supposedly gave himself to humankind in order to erase their sins. And that sounded really nice to Alphys, who wouldn’t mind one bit having her sins erased. But monsters didn’t have a Christ. All they had were the likes of Asgore… and this year, for the first time, they didn’t even have him anymore. So monsters liked to pretend that the X stood for other things—things that might matter to their own lives. Things like xanthum gum and xylophones, but especially  _xenia_ . Xenia was the concept of welcoming anyone into one’s home who needed it, even a stranger. It was the idea that anyone deserved hospitality just for being themselves, not for any special reason. It was an ideal that monsters tried to practice during the Xmas season, and Alphys admired it. She’d never been brave enough to let a stranger sleep in her home. She was nervous even inviting friends over! But Toriel’s home was full of xenia, and Alphys was proud to live there and be part of it. She told herself that Project X was carried out in the spirit of xenia, even if it was the reverse of what one might expect. Sure, she wanted to impress Toriel. But beyond that, Alphys wanted to be xenial, for once in her life.   
  


* * *

  
When Xmas morning arrived at last, the family of three had a swift breakfast of sweet potato bread and reindeer moss before going out to walk the streets of Home. Whistles chirped and bells rang from various places so that there was never a dearth of sound. The small monsters hurried hither and thither, celebrating and being cordial to one another in their diverse ways. The Vegetoids were feeding their greens freely to anyone who passed by. The Migosps were shuffling sideways through the streets, noodling their arms in merry dance. The Froggits, in their language of croaks, expounded on matters of philosophy as they hopped lackadaisically about. And everyone was conspicuously refraining from picking on the Looxes.

Toriel, Alphys and Sans volunteered their time and strength at a Migospel church near the heart of town. They were cheered on as they used their physical strength, magic and ingenuity to refurbish the sanctuary while small monsters helped on the periphery. Then the steeple bell rang, signifying noon, and everyone went outdoors for the great unexpected luncheon. The tradition for the great unexpected luncheon was that no food would be provided but that which monsters chose to bring, unannounced, out of the goodness of their hearts. They would all express surprise at finding tables set out, and would quietly slip their contributions onto said tables, reasoning that if they were all there anyway, they might as well have lunch. Everyone would be delightedly surprised by everyone else’s contribution and presence, so that it seemed like a potluck born from sheer serendipity. Toriel brought pie, of course. She just happened to have a sack with her containing no fewer than fifteen fresh pies, which she brought out one by one to Alphys’s increasing amazement. How had she managed to keep them hot? She’d ask later, but for now she knew it would be a faux pas.

When the ‘unexpected’ banquet was done, most monsters returned to their homes, but a surprising number chose to return to Toriel’s house. That morning it had just been the three of them, but by two in the afternoon the house was packed. Various random objects were brought out from storage to serve as tiny chairs. There were Whimsuns watching from the rafters and Parsniks roasting gently at the fireplace. The talkative rock from the catacombs did her best to provide extra seating (and conversation). Spiders went about spinning a glimmering web: MERRY XMAS, it said. They then arrayed themselves in a decorative oval around these words, letting the web serve as a resting place for the proceedings.

The Froggits performed a traditional frog song to which all present listened reverently. They then led the whole assemblage in chorus through several more carols of good will and historical figures. Following this, gifts were given. Blooky showed up to little fanfare and quietly told everyone (after a few failed tries to get their attention) that they had a gift from Shyren for the whole party—this was a CD containing a concert performed by Shyren and her amalgamated sister, in duet. Most of it was quiet humming, for which everyone had to be especially silent, but there were a few parts with weirder sounds that might have come from Lemon Bread’s constant companions, or perhaps from banging on bottles or pots. At the end of the final track, following twenty seconds of total silence, was Shyren’s tiny voice, saying in a whisper: “Merry Xmas.” To which Lemon Bread exclaimed, in a dozen jovial voices, “You did it!” And then the album ended and the party erupted in applause and laughter.

Sans’s gift to Alphys was that he’d secretly brought back her entire comic and manga collection from her lab, instead of the three or four books at a time he’d been pretending to manage. Alphys hugged him, not at all upset to be deceived or to be given something she already owned. Her gift to him was a thick, natty rug for his room, complete with trapdoor triggers he could set to make things mysteriously disappear and reappear elsewhere. Toriel had sewn Sans a new outfit, including a visored cap with a picture of Papyrus’s face on it. (He proceeded to proudly wear it backwards.) He gave Toriel a packet of seeds he’d gathered from every corner of the Underground. They weren’t marked or sorted in any way, but he said it would be a better surprise that way. Toriel hugged him too, lifting him off the ground, and said she did not doubt it would make for many interesting gardens.

A Whimsalot clattered its helmet and asked, through gestures, what Toriel and Alphys were giving to each other. Toriel cleared her throat and stood with some embarrassment. “I am afraid that my gift to Alphys will not be a public one. I will give it to her later, once everyone has gone home.”

The monsters exchanged looks. “oh… i know how it is,” said Napstablook. “when your gift is so bad you don’t want anyone else to see it… even the person you’re giving it to, only you kind of have to let them see it…”

Alphys leapt in. “W-w-well I don’t care if Toriel’s gift is embarrassing! B-because my gift for her is a little embarrassing too. It’s not even really… a gift for her! It’s just… well, it’s not here, either. We’ll have to go to my lab!”

Toriel clasped her hands together in excitement. “Is everyone invited?”

“Uh, s-sure! Everyone can come see.”

“Then let us go to the lab!” announced Toriel, holding open the door for Alphys so that she could lead the way.

It was a long walk to the old warehouse. Not everyone made it, but most of the small monsters bore up and endured the trek, even if the mood did fall from jovial to solemn along the way. No one was speaking by the time they got there, a parade of expectant beings on the most important day of their calendar.

Alphys led them in past half-built shunt- and series-wound motors, past burbling cooling mechanisms and whirling wheels drawing wire from aluminum rod. She was happy to show off everything she’d been working on, but the real excitement was behind that sliding wall. Back when she’d begun her quest to rebuild civilization in the boondocks, her goal had been bringing electricity to everyone—once they had a power grid, they could start thinking about rebuilding the city the way it once was, or better. But ever since her chat with Sans had led her to the spider’s bake sale, she’d had a new goal. A shiny, concrete goal… not that concrete was shiny, but… it was something definite she could work toward with real emotional impact. And she was so nervous about how it would be received that she’d decided the previous night to just disable her nervousness circuits and go nerveless for a while. …It hadn’t worked very well.

“Everyone… Toriel… um… I, um… well, this is embarrassing. I rehearsed so many different versions of this speech that I forgot which one I decided to go with. Aheheh!”

Toriel placed her hand on Alphys’s shoulder. “It is all right. Simply explain what you have done!”

Somehow, Toriel always cut to the pith of a situation. “Well… all right. I’ve been working for nearly a year on your gift, Tori… and, um… well, I hope you like it!” She struggled to keep her hands from shaking as she pulled the cord that raised the wall.

Instantly there was a chittering among the spiders, scattered though they were throughout the crowd. They moved forward and separated themselves from the other monsters so that they could see more clearly… not that everyone wasn’t stirring with excitement at the sight of the shiny silver vehicle.

“ooohh… is it a dragster?” asked Napstablook.

Sans laughed. “al, did you give tori a new car? that’s so cliche it’s funny. but where’s she supposed to drive it?”

Toriel stood with her fingers framing her mouth in amazement. “I am not… I am not really the driving sort!” she exclaimed. “Is this really for me?”

Alphys grinned her biggest grin for her moment of triumph. “No! It’s  _not_ for you!”

The beauty in Toriel’s confusion as she smiled to Alphys—it was one of those expressions that make knowing other people worthwhile, even for the staunchest introvert. Only someone like Tori could pull off beautiful confusion. “Then who is it for?”

Alphys leapt in excitement. “It’s for the  _spiders!!_ They’ve been separated from their cousins in Hotland for who  _knows_ how long… and they c-can’t get back together because of the cold weather in Snowdin… and they only have so many snowshoes and overcoats… so they’ve been… they’ve been holding bake sales for  _ages_ to raise money for a… for a heated limousine… so they can all be reunited… so I decided to… I decided…”

“i’ll be damned,” said Sans. “you built one.”

“I… I BUILT one!” Alphys laughed a giddy laugh, releasing the stomach bugs of a hundred stressful days slaving over sparking cables and camshafts and brake pumps, all the while unsure if she could do it. “It’s built with fine, touch-sensitive controls so spiders can drive… and by my calculations, there’s enough room in it for the entire Ruins clan!” She faced the spiders and recalled Arachnamate’s final words to her. “You can… you can go home,” she told them.

The chittering grew so intense Alphys was afraid. The Whimsuns scattered and the Vegetoids started cackling. The host of spiders poured right onto Alphys and past her, crawling up the sides of the limousine, pouring through cracks in the gaskets, feeling its surface with their hairy feet, smothering it with appraisal. Alphys collapsed to a fetal position as the spiders covered her, but as they passed by, she gathered her courage and stood up, nervously watching. She watched as the spiders fiddled with the controls, adjusting the rear view mirrors and turning the steering wheel. A bracing sound abruptly filled the lab—WHOM WHOMM. Everybody cringed: they’d found the horn.

Alphys turned to Toriel, fearing her reaction, and found her with one hand curled tightly at her solar plexus, the other pressed against it, her mouth gaping in astonishment and her ears actually  _up_ —the first time Alphys had ever seen them that way. A whisper of uncontrolled laughter sounded quietly from her. She turned her wide eyes upon Alphys.

“I cannot believe it,” she said simply. “I just cannot believe it. After all these centuries.”

Alphys hurried to her and stood tall, afraid to hug her, afraid to offer her hands.

The car’s headlights flashed on and off. “But… but in what sense is this  _my_ gift?” Toriel asked, flabbergasted.

“Well, it’s, uh…” Alphys’s prepared explanation eluded her. “It’s not, really… I mean, it _is_ , but… I mean, it’s technically yours, and you get to give it to the spiders… I just, um…” She scratched her head, bashful as anything. “I just wanted to give you something that would _amaze_ you, and I… and I didn’t think anything would make you feel _really_ , really good unless it was… for someone else… and I know that it doesn’t make any sense, and I… I kind of cheated you out of an Xmas gift because now, not only do you not get a real gift from me, but you’re going to lose the spiders… these friends you’ve had for as long as you’ve been here… they’re probably going to go home, and they’ll be gone, and you’ll miss them… and the Ruins will be that much more empty… so if you’re mad at me, I… I can understand… and um… but… I’m hoping that maybe…”

She wasn’t able to finish; Toriel swept her up in a deluxe hug, the sort that carries one literally and figuratively to another place. “Alphys! This is…” Sobs actually kept her from speaking unimpeded. “:…the  _best_ gift… bar  _none_ … that I have  _ever_ been given… and I am blown away… I do not know what to say…” Alphys felt herself erratically spun around as Toriel took uncalculated steps this way and that.

“Just… just say thank you!” Alphys squealed, trying to hug back. “And that’ll… that’ll make me so happy!”

Toriel placed Alphys on the ground and clasped her hands before her chin, laughing. “ _THANK_ you!” she exulted. Then she gestured to the spiders, who now swarmed all without and within the silver luxury car. “Spiders of the Ruins… you have been my most faithful friends over the many scores of years I have dwelt here… and I will miss you sorely… But I wish you to be reunited with your kin, and with your queen, and I give you…” Her voice caught, and she had to swallow before continuing. “I give you this limousine, that you may travel the snowy wastes, without reservation. It is yours.” She wiped her eyes and repeated: “It is yours. I only ask that, now and then, a small few of you will visit me. I would like… I would like to keep sending letters to my friends on the outside! And I do appreciate the newspapers you occasionally bring.”

A smattering of tiny voices chittered, and the spiders on the windows of the car formed themselves into words: “WE WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR FRIENDS.”

Toriel sniffled and raised a hand to still her trembling jaw. Alphys was glad to see she wasn’t the only one who did that now and then. Even the serenest of the serene could occasionally be thrown off balance. And Alphys had made it happen! Alphys was the reason Toriel looked the way she did right now. It was like she’d met a swan and taught her how to open her wings.

All the small monsters were cheering. Alphys had her payment. All the afternoons of labor. All the setbacks and frustrations and tedious tasks. They’d all been worth it. She was paid back in full now. She had the memory of a lifetime, and it was right now, all around her.

The car’s ignition started, jarring her back to her senses. “Uh! W-w-wait!! I, uh… I need to show you how it  _works!_ ” She ran over to the car and scrabbled at the window.

It lowered itself for her as the spiders welcomed her in.  
  


* * *

 

  
The level of hubbub barely sank for an hour. Alphys showed the spiders all the ins and outs of the car—and it seemed she never had to explain things more than once, because if one spider didn’t remember or understand her explanations, dozens of others did. And that let her go into detail. So she described every aspect of the limousine she’d built from scratch, using what she now knew was  _magic_ to augment her science, making the process easier and smoother for her than it would be for almost anyone else, and she was  _proud_ of that fact. Anyone else might have taken a century to make this gift, and it had taken her only ten months. Did that make Alphys any less proud? It was right for her to use her gifts where they were most useful, wasn’t it? But to be fair, this was kind of off the scale—Alphys had  _never_ been this proud, not even when she’d made Royal Scientist—so her judgment might not be entirely reliable just now.

She gave the spiders her spare cell phone so they could keep touch on the road. All the denizens of the Ruins went to see them off. Getting the limo down Toriel’s back steps and through her basement was a little tricky—Alphys hadn’t gotten around to building an accordion-based spring-walker for it—but with the help of the Whimsalots and their quest-inspired strength, they managed it with minimal property damage. The spiders waved a few dozen of themselves out the window in a giant chain as the car drove off through the snowy wastes. Alphys felt a hand on her shoulder as they watched it go. She turned back; it was Sans.

He shifted his attention from the vanishing car to her. “hey. you know what?”

Alphys trembled. “No—what?”

He took a breath before he spoke. “i think there’s light in my life again.”

This overwhelmed Alphys. “Really?”

His smile changed subtly. Had it gotten more heartfelt? “yeah. took long enough, didn’t it?”

Overcoming her nerves, she threw herself around Sans. The small monsters applauded their hug.  
  


* * *

  
They called several times. But their calls always sounded like a big rustling blanket made of wool, and their texts were mostly made of eight-eyed emoticons, so communication was tricky. Eventually they reported making it to the edge of Waterfall, where, so far as Alphys and Toriel could decipher, they found a place to park under a cascade of endless falling rocks. In a panic, Alphys texted back that that sounded like the  _worst_ possible place to park, but they assured her that somehow the rocks never did any damage, and they were off to rejoin the Hotland clan! Everyone waited nervously in Toriel’s house, drinking tea and playing checkers by Froggit rules, until a joyous  _Brrrrrrrriing_ cut the air and Toriel picked up her phone. Caller: MUFFET.

The two laughed and giggled for a good five minutes before saying much of anything intelligible. Then Toriel put Muffet on speakerphone, and they replayed Alphys’s big reveal and discussed every aspect of the car, and Muffet described the familial reunions she was witnessing, and the comparisons of web spinning techniques that had developed, and the exchanging of family histories… and after half an hour, she abruptly said, “Ut! I’ll be right over, dearie,” and hung up the phone.

Everyone gaped at each other. Did she really mean…?

That was dusk. Well into the evening, Muffet showed up at the purple door wearing her best finery, a dress that seemed to be covered with gleaming eyes, open on the left side and sleeping on the right. She lifted Alphys with five arms at once and gave her a strange kiss that somehow left a flavor after it was done. Behind her, scuttling gracefully… oh! Oh, how wonderful! It was Arachnamate! With terrifying speed, the amalgamate lifted Alphys in at least a  _hundred_ silky arms. It kissed her and kissed her and kissed her until she was laughing the laugh of the ticklish.

“Doctor. I am so pleased to see you.  
I am so pleased to see you. Was  
am so pleased to see you. Was it  
so pleased to see you. Was it really  
pleased to see you. Was it really my  
to see you. Was it really my kindness  
see you. Was it really my kindness that  
you. Was it really my kindness that saved  
Was it really my kindness that saved you?”

“ _Yes!_ ” Alphys squealed. “Yes, just by _trying_ to keep me safe! Even though I r-r-rejected you. You still planted a seed of hope. And I can… I can never repay you!”

The giant white spider lowered her ever so gently to the floor, attending to where her feet were. It bowed deeply, filaments splaying everywhere.  
“it really my kindness that saved you? Then  
really my kindness that saved you? Then you  
my kindness that saved you? Then you will  
kindness that saved you? Then you will forever  
that saved you? Then you will forever be  
saved you? Then you will forever be my  
you? Then you will forever be my greatest  
 *** ABSORBED *  
** Then you will forever be my greatest fount  
you will forever be my greatest fount of  
will forever be my greatest fount of pride.”

Alphys giggled and rubbed the amorphous head. Toriel stepped forward to offer her own heartfelt thanks to the amalgamate. Then the whole carload of spiders skittered out into the catacombs, and Muffet got her first look at where her distant kin had been living for so long. The limousine had been stuffed to the gills; even more spiders had come back than had left that afternoon. They scampered all over the ancient puzzles and spun new celebratory heritage webs meant to last a month, and talked in their spider language and swung from the ceiling and ate and drank and danced, and then everyone crammed back into Toriel’s house for one last rendition of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Xmas” around the tree, with everyone holding hands, wings, pedipalps or whatever was available to hold. Then came the hugs and goodbyes, and those were an event in themselves.  
  


* * *

  
It wasn’t until midnight that the assemblage of spiders finally packed themselves back into the heated limo to head homeward, promising to visit  _en masse_ again soon, and the small monsters finished their revelry and went wearily on their way, and Blooky disappeared when no one was looking, and the talkative rock chatted up a storm before finally taking a hint and rolling off, and Sans yawned wearily and retired to bed.

Alphys was still trembling on the inside even as she slipped on her nightcap. She was ready to give bed the old college try, but at the edge of the hallway she was halted by an oddly urgent utterance: “Wait, doctor.”

She looked back. Toriel stood in the foyer, looking strangely vulnerable.

“Wh—what is it?”

“Do not be afraid! It is just that… Xmas is nearly over, and I have not yet given you your gift! I know it is late, but… I feel it would be better not to wait until tomorrow.”

Alphys tingled. She’d forgotten entirely that Toriel still owed her a gift. Not that she needed a gift—the happiness she’d been drenched with all day had been like gifts a hundred times over, and she felt like the queen of the world—but any gift from Toriel would have to be meaningful, wouldn’t it? And why had she wanted to wait for everyone to go home? “Oh! Um, yes! That’s right… what was it that you were going to, um, give me?” She tapped her hands together nervously.

Toriel, oddly, seemed no less nervous. “I th—I think it would be best for us to go to one of our bedrooms for the presentation of this gift. Which would you prefer?”

Oh gosh. What was this, even? “Um… I get to see mine all the time, so… yours?”

“As you like!” Toriel led the way to her own room. She gestured a hand toward the bed, and Alphys sat there obediently. Then Toriel closed the door and stood in the middle of the room. It looked like she was having a hard time composing herself.

“Wh-what is it?” asked Alphys, now concerned. “Are you worried I won’t like your gift? Tori, you don’t need to worry about that—even if you didn’t get me anything at all, I wouldn’t be disappointed, I’ve had the most _amazing_ day—”

“Alphys,” said Toriel.

Alphys was silent.

“I am sorry… this is difficult for me. I did not… I did not expect it to be so difficult.”

“It’s okay, Tori!”

She took a breath, though it didn’t seem to calm her much. “You must understand, Alphys… I was faced with a quandary when it came to selecting a gift for you. You are an amazing woman with the ability to create nearly anything you can envision, and to envision nearly anything you desire! Ever since you arrived in the Ruins, you have been making things, and  _making_ things, and the Ruins are so much richer for it… but what could I possibly offer that you could not create for yourself? I could sew you a new outfit, true, but I have been sewing clothes for you regardless, and as such that did not seem sufficiently… special.”

Alphys let her feet press against the edge of the mattress and leaned forward. “I’m—I’m sure I would have loved it anyway!”

“But you _deserve_ something special, doctor!” She paused to collect herself. “Doubly so, after your tremendous surprise today! I asked myself: is there anything I possess that she could not provide for herself? Anything that I would not freely share with her, Xmas or not? At first I could think of nothing.” Her voice broke. “Do you—do you perceive my problem?”

Alphys swallowed. “Yes! Yes, I guess I… I guess I am a little hard to shop for when there aren’t any stores, huh?”

“Precisely!” agreed Toriel. “But then… I realized that I _do_ possess something you desire. Something that you have been asking for, explicitly or not, for almost your entire time here with me. It is very much in my power to provide, and… and while I do not understand why, I know that it would make you happy.” Her ears twitched. “And I cannot very well deny you the gift you most desire. Not on Xmas. _Especially_ not now.”

Alphys leaned forward even further until just the tip of her tail was keeping her from falling off the bed. “…Yes?”

Toriel took one last breath. “You have, on numerous occasions, expressed an interest in my bare form. I cannot fathom what fascinates you so about my knees and shoulders, but if that is what you desire… I will bare myself for you. I will remove my robe, and my underclothes, and I will stand before you uncovered. It is not something I have ever done for anyone but my husband, but…” Her eyes pled. “Would this please you, Alphys?”

Alphys leapt off the bed, euphoric, having barely dared to hope. “Oh! Oh my god. Yes! Please. Please, Tori. You don’t know what this means to me.”

The woolly queen smiled and wiped away a tear. “Then I give myself to you, Alphys. Or at least, the sight of me. That is my gift. And it is a true gift, in that it is yours to keep. Even after I am dressed again, this gift will still be yours. As such, you have the right to ask me, at any time, to undress for you. There is no limitation on your use of this gift. I will do my best to bear it patiently, and kindly… and I will even permit you to touch me, if that is what you desire.”

Alphys shook with emotion. “Oh Tori!!” She reached out for the purple robe, then withdrew her hands, feeling foolish. Her own gift was put to shame by this. Alphys had given Toriel nothing, nothing at all, and this… this…!”

Toriel drew a shaky breath. “Would you like me to disrobe in your sight, or would you prefer to turn away?”

Alphys could tell Toriel was trying to be strong. She could see this was difficult for her. So difficult. But she was doing it. She was doing it, for Alphys… just for her… “Oh, Tori. You don’t have to do this. I just love that… I just love you’re willing to! If it hurts you, I don’t want you to do it.” She fell to her knees and pawed at the robe. “I just think you’re so beautiful…”

Toriel laughed the most painful laugh, dipping her head. “This is what I mean. This is preposterous. I am  _not_ beautiful. But I will not allow you to shame me, doctor. I will undress for you.”

“Well, th-then… I’d like to watch,” Alphys said meekly. “I’d like to see. You can… do it in front of me.”

Toriel nodded solemnly. “Very well.” She paused for a second, then reached to unbutton her robe at the back of the neck.

As gracefully as one can remove a pullover garment, she pulled it up and off… and Alphys was stunned. It was like how Alphys imagined it must feel to see the sun, suddenly, from behind a cloud, or through a window—so much light it could hurt the eyes if you weren’t careful. Alphys wanted to see the sun someday, but this… it couldn’t be better than this, could it? So much whiteness, so much perfection, all at once…

Toriel put a hand on her undershirt. “Are you pleased so far, doctor?” She’d managed to let a little amusement into her voice.

“Y-y-y-y-yes!” stammered Alphys, staring up. “Um… can you… ta… take off the rest of it, please?”

Toriel gave a resigned little smile. She pulled off her undershirt, then her white panties, and placed them over a chair. Then she stood before Alphys in the nude. A body that was physiologically forty-six and physically forty-nine hundred years old… yet it seemed ageless, ageless, no trace of age anywhere. Pure white. Pure, soft, loving wool. Perfect shapes. Perfect movement. There wasn’t much to contemplate, not in words or symbols. That was what perfection did—it made your brain speechless. Alphys’s brain was hardly ever speechless. This was just perfection, and it was as simple as that.

“Doctor! I am afraid you will start drooling!”

“Uh-h-h…” She forced herself back to the realm of the cognizant, the realm of sapience. “I’m… I’m really enjoying this… um… sorry if I’m not very talkative right now… you’re just… um… stunning!”

Toriel’s ears curled in bashfully. She blushed just slightly, so subtly the pink was barely visible, but it was there. Alphys soaked it in. “Can you… um, go down on your knees? I want to… I want to feel your face, if that’s all right.”

Toriel complacently lowered herself, one knee at a time. Alphys peered at her blushing face, then felt the wool covering it. It was so delicate. So light, yet full enough that the whiteness was unbreaking—a rose tint was just showing through, but nothing was breaking. She rubbed her own cheek against Toriel’s cheek. She hugged her around the chest. She rested her head on her shoulder.

“Are you happy, Alphys?” murmured Toriel.

“You have no idea,” Alphys replied. In truth, even _she_ had no idea how happy she was. Like her pride, right now it was off the charts.

“Merry Xmas, my friend,” the boss monster whispered.

“Merry Xmas,” cooed Alphys. She slid down Toriel’s body in a helical path and found herself confronted with her tail. Oh. That tail! That perky, flare-tipped, secret little tail! She wouldn’t have been sure Toriel even _had_ one, except that she’d occasionally mentioned sitting on it oddly or having had it pulled by one of her children. It was too small to do much of anything—Alphys wasn’t even sure what it was good for—but she didn’t need to ask right now. Right now, she just wanted to look at it. And… and to stroke it, maybe? Oh god, yes—before she knew it, Alphys was stroking Toriel’s tail.

“Are you trying to get me excited?” accused Toriel.

“N-no! I’m just…” Alphys lowered her voice humbly. “I’m just really enjoying you, that’s all.”

The large white calves flexed, their contours as perfect as ever. “It is mystifying to me how this weary old body can give such pleasure to someone so virile and young!”

Alphys cuddled the small of Toriel’s back. “It’s mystifying to  _me_ how you don’t see your own beauty!”

A fluffy hand settled on Alphys’s own back. “Perhaps I am simply too used to it! Or perhaps your feelings toward me are singular. But I will say this. You have convinced me—at long last, doctor—that your physical affection for me is not a joke.”

“Of course it’s not a joke! I _love_ you! Body, mind and soul.” Alphys wanted to whimper it, to cry out loud, to plead. She rubbed the firm wool before her. “I just wish… I just wish you could be mine, and I… and I could be yours. But this… this is so close, and I’m so happy… I _really_ appreciate this gift, Tori.” She sat back, contentedly taking in the tremendous beauty of the snow-white form before her, gently stroking the tender tail…

And time could have stopped like that. But then Toriel stood up.

“Wh… what is it, Tori? Did I… did I hurt you?”

The boss monster shook her head. Her eyes were closed.

“What’s wrong?” asked Alphys, starting to worry.

Toriel breathed quietly and shook her head again. “I have been unfair to you,” she said. “You have truly loved me, and I have brushed it aside as if it were a joke.” She peered through ovaline eyes at Alphys. “That poem that you wrote about me... it was not in jest, was it? You meant every word.”

Alphys nodded fearfully.

Toriel was still for several moments. “I think I would like to go for a walk,” she said at last.

Alphys clambered to her feet. “I can go with you!”

“Alone,” said Toriel.

“Oh,” said Alphys, her spirits sinking. Was it over so soon? Hadn’t Toriel said the gift had no limits?

“I will not go far,” said Toriel. She paused, then strode from the room, leaving the door open as she went. Alphys peeked out and saw her her hurry through the foyer and out the front door.

She didn’t dare follow, and she didn’t dare sleep.  
  


* * *

  
The yard was cold—as cold as it ever got. It was winter on the surface, a fact that leaked through the mountain despite all the rock it was made of, and the mistral was fierce and low. Toriel walked naked through the yard, feet crunching dead leaves, hearing only one thing in her mind:

_She is not yours. Be still, fluttering heart, be still. You belong to the Asgore who once was. She is not yours. True, she is an_ amazing _catch, but she is not yours. You belong to the Asgore who once was. Be still, my fluttering heart—she is not yours! And you are not hers! You belong to the Asgore who once was! You belong to… belong to…_

Toriel’s forehead was on the tree. Her body was slumped, and her head was against the wood of the old tree. She was weary, but she was ready to cast aside her weariness like a worn blanket. She cried without sobs. Why was this so painful? Why was there pain? In the midst of greatest happiness, pain!

_**Hello, Tori. It’s always a pleasure to see you.** _

She gasped, barely aware if she was awake or dreaming. But she spoke. How could she not?

_Hello, Asgore. Did you know, in the past, I have spoken to the ‘Asgore who once was’, to distinguish between you and the Asgore who now is. But now, I suppose it is all one, is it not? Either way, I am speaking to someone beyond this world._

_**It’s true. My burden is over. And I’m not sure whether to be upset that I failed, or relieved. But it is over, one way or another.** _

_You would never have wanted war!_ Toriel cried.  _The Asgore I knew would never have moved toward war as an objective! Not truly._

_**Not truly. But there was the appearance to keep up, Tori. There was hope to be fostered.** _

_Hope that was rancid with hatred and the desire for vengeance._

_**Yes. It was rancid hope. It was so much less than what hope could be. But we lived on it, Tori. We lived on it. We haven’t yet perished from the earth.** _

_Oh, Asgore!_ Toriel sobbed. She could feel the bark of the rotten tree giving way beneath her arms, but her attention wasn’t there at present.

_**Do you have hope, Tori? How are you getting along these days?** _

_I…? I… I am happy, Gorey. I am surprised to say so. I had been lonely for so long that I had forgotten how to be happy… but despite everything, somehow, it has come back to me. It has been forced upon me. I have…_

… _ **Have you met someone, Tori?**_

She wet the bark with her tears.  _I have! I never expected it… I never could have foreseen the way it would happen…_

_**Do you like him? Is he… as strapping as me?** _

She looked up, finding the humor in it. _It is a she, actually. And she is hunched and tubby. She could perhaps not even_ lift _your trident. But she is… she is my light._

Deep laughter vibrated through Toriel.  _**Tori. You never fail to amaze me. Can you be happy with this person?** _

_I don’t know! I belong to you! All that is good in me… all that is pure, or worthy, or beautiful… is yours as well. It all stems from my union with you! I do not… I do not know how to love alone._

_**You don’t?** _

_No, Gorey. I have no idea how to love alone. I can never… be my best, without you._

_**Well. Then the solution is simple. I’ll simply have to love along with you.** _

Realization flooded through Toriel. It was like a wind over a sheer white rock, a sideways cleansing rain.  _Can you do that? Will you always be with me?_

_**Don’t you think I already am, Tori? Why else would you be talking with me now?** _

_But… but how can I love her, if I belong to you?_

_**We are one, Tori. We belong to ourselves… but that doesn’t mean we can’t give ourselves to someone else. Someone we think is worthy.** _

_But I belong with_ you _, Asgore!_

_**Then I’ll be with you. We can love this person together. Do you think I’d like her?** _

Toriel smiled bitterly.  _After you changed… you knew her. You did like her then, I think. The scientist? Doctor Alphys?_

Astonished laughter rode the chill of the mistral’s underbelly. _**Dr. Alphys? Gaster’s successor? Oh, Tori! You fell in love with the lizard girl?**_

She touched her own heart, feeling its tenderness.  _Not yet. But I_ wish _to! I dearly wish to love her._

… _ **Do you really think she’s worthy of our love?**_

… _Yes. I do. I absolutely do._

_**Then let’s love her. I wouldn’t have guessed Alphys, Tori. Not in a hundred guesses. But I trust you. I trust you more than I trust myself. If you say she’s worthy of our love… then by all means, let’s love her.** _

_Really? Are you certain, Asgore?_

_**I release you, Toriel. You are no longer mine. I will always be with you, but I release you. You’re free to love whomever you please.** _

_Gorey…_ She reached out, and her hand was tickled by crumbled pieces of blowing leaves.

_**I release you. I’ve missed you, Tori.** _

_And I… I have never stopped missing you. Not once._

_**I’m not really here, of course. I’m gone now. But I’ll always be with you.** _

_We shall love her together. You and I._

_**I wish I could stay. You have no idea…** _

_Gorey…_

… _ **how much I want to ask if you’d like a cup of tea…**_

_Oh, Gorey._

She felt the wind tearing against her temples. She raised her head. A piece of Asgore’s forehead in the carving on the old tree had crumbled away at her touch. She stood up. It did not bother her. The carving would all wear away, in time, but he would remain. As he was. As he always was.

Always.

She found her senses and stumbled inside from the chill. For a while she rested on the floor of the foyer, regaining heat and sensibility.

“Tori?” Alphys was at the entrance to the hall, looking worried.

“I am all right, Alphys. It is fine. It will all be fine.”

That did not keep Alphys from hurrying to her, of course. That was as it should be. She rested on hands and knees in the doctor’s embrace. So unlike Asgore’s, yet so urgent and so real.

“Alphys, I am sorry for worrying you. You have been very patient. I know how many times you have held back, since that day you asked to see my arms, and realized that you had upset me.”

“I’m so sorry for that, Toriel. I got carried away. You know I get carried away sometimes.”

Yes. She did. And that was, in truth, a very attractive feature. “It is all right. Because I forgive you, and with the exception of a certain chalk drawing, you have been very restrained and thoughtful since then. You have been so very patient with this silly old woman.” She laughed, coughing up traces of leaf dust as she did.

Alphys fetched her a glass of water. “Here, Tori.”

She rose to a kneeling position, conscious of her nudity, and drank. “Thank you! Do you know, Alphys? I am glad that you are enjoying my Xmas gift. It is the most precious gift I have ever given, with the exception of when I gave myself to Asgore at my wedding. Yet I feel that after your amazing gift to me… and given how very good you have been over the seasons… that I owe you another gift. I feel that it is meet. I feel that you have earned it many times over. And I can only apologize for how long it has taken me to give.”

Alphys looked so pale in the dim light. “But… but what is it?” she asked, mystified.

Toriel smiled as broadly as she could ever remember, even though her face was still tinged by tears. “I will love you,” she said simply. “I will do my very, honest best, to love you.”

Alphys gasped. “Oh, Tori!” Even in the darkness, Toriel could see the end of her tail curl.

“And I do not mean as one loves a neighbor, or a friend. I will love you as you deserve to be loved. As a lover. As a sweet, true, beautiful lover.”

Alphys squealed. She did no less than squeal aloud in pure glee. No words, it seemed, could mark this moment for her. But then she dashed to Toriel and started caressing her, her head against Toriel’s belly. “Do you mean it? Can you really… are you really able? I mean… you don’t find me ugly?”

“No, not at all, Alphys! Not at all. In fact, from now on, I will be doing my best to find you beautiful! I suspect it will be easier than you think!”

She looked up hopefully. “Will you… will you write poems about me?”

The last of the chill in Toriel’s heart melted. “I will!” she decided. “That is a challenge, but I will be glad to take it up!”

“I can’t believe it!” squealed the lizard, squeezing her harder. “I get to see you naked, _plus_ make you speechless with happiness, p-plus I get to be your girlfriend… all in the same day?!”

Toriel rocked Alphys gently in the darkness. “Not so loud, my sweet thing! You will wake up Sans!”

“nah, you don’t have to worry about that,” said Sans from the living room doorway, one slipper against the frame. “i’m a sound sleeper.”

“Oh my God! Sans!” exclaimed Alphys.

Toriel’s hands moved to cover her breasts. So this was how her Xmas was to end. Kneeling naked on the floor in the dark in front of both her housemates. And to think, just a year ago, she had expected to be lonely for all her remaining years. The turns that life takes…

“don’t worry, tori. i’m not looking. i found a really interesting crack in the ceiling to check out.”

“Sans, have you been eavesdropping?” Toriel demanded.

“i was fetching a little midnight snack.” He held up a piece of leftover pie. “then i heard alphys make a noise i _assume_ was happy. so you two are really a couple now, huh? no more holding back?”

Alphys squeezed Toriel’s side. “I g-guess so! I’m so excited.”

“Yes,” Toriel replied. “I had to commune with Asgore in order to let myself make this decision… but we are lovers now, and we will share in everything.”

“So _that’s_ why you ran out the door,” marveled Alphys. “You had to talk to Asgore!”

Toriel planted a kiss on the reptile’s forehead. “I am glad we decided to build the shrines. On this occasion, they were just what I needed.”

“And he… and he’s okay with me? I mean.. I know you didn’t _really_ talk to Asgore… but the… the version of him you talked to… he doesn’t mind you loving me?”

“My dear Alphys, he is here, loving you along with me! He has turned all his energies to it, as have I. Together, we will surely succeed!”

“Oh boy,” Alphys murmured, shocked.

Toriel leaned further against her companion and buried her in a deep, woolly hug. Knowing that her body was cold, she released fire magic into her belly and chest and arms, letting them warm Alphys through the chill. “After all,” she teased. “Did you not say that you would like to be the filling in a sandwich between myself and Asgore?”

Alphys laughed and squealed and kicked her feet. “Yes! Yes, I did!”

“Well then, in a manner of speaking, you have your wish. I love you, Royal Scientist Alphys. There is nothing holding me back any longer.”

“well, guess my work here is done,” said Sans, who now stood at the front door. “i’ll go ahead and make myself scarce. glad you two finally got together. i’ll come back for my stuff later.”

Toriel looked up fiercely at him. “Sans, you are not going anywhere,” she commanded.

He paused, his hand on the knob. “you sure?”

Alphys, too, untucked herself from Toriel’s embrace and called to him. “I don’t want you to leave, Sans! We’re such a good family. Can’t you… can’t you stay?”

“heh. i was only joking. ‘course i’m staying. i wouldn’t miss this for all the ketchup in grillby’s fridge.” He wandered around to the hallway. “i’ll be hitting the hay now. congrats, you two.”

“Good night, Sans.”

“Good night!”

They stayed together, somewhat tangled, after he had disappeared into his room. Alphys looked wonderingly at Toriel. “Do you really think he was joking?”

“I cannot say, Alphys. I think there are times when even Sans is not aware whether he is joking until events play themselves out.”

Alphys laughed. “Like quantum superposition! He was only joking if we wanted him to be!”

Toriel laughed and poked a finger into Alphys’s belly, evincing a shocked squeal. “Precisely. I relish how you are able to inject scientific ideas into even the most intimate moments!”

Alphys blushed and looked sheepish. “Um, I… I guess I…”

“That is one of the many things I will grow to love about you. Would you like to come to bed with me, doctor?”

“B-bed? With.. with you?” The scaled tail slapped the floor. “Seriously?”

Toriel smiled. “Is there any reason we should still sleep alone?”

“Oh my gosh… no! There—there isn’t! Oh my gosh, Tori! We’re going to sleep together!”

“Nothing would delight me more. The only question remaining is: Would you like me to carry you over the threshold?”

Alphys grinned and took a moment mustering an answer. “If—if you would! I love being carried by you."

Toriel climbed ceremoniously to her feet and hoisted Alphys up to her naked bosom. “I believe we can safely say that this has been the best Xmas ever, can we not?”

Alphys’s laughter shook even Toriel’s belly. “Yes! I think it’s even… I think this was the best day of my life!”

Toriel walked toward the hallway. “It is not quite over yet, my dear one.”

Alphys laughed with sheer excitement. They paused at the bedroom door.

“My wish for us, doctor,” said Toriel, “is that the year to come will be equally merry.”

“Yes!” shouted Alphys, hugging tight. “Let’s… let’s make it merry!"

Toriel bestowed one last kiss, the gentlest yet, on her burden’s head. Then she walked easily into her bedroom, carrying Alphys, and shut the door behind them.

It was a new beginning.  
  


* * *

* * *

**  
AND NOW YOUR GIFT:  
A HOLIDAY BONUS SONG**

**Tori, You're Beautiful**

(To “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” by Frank Loesser)

T: I do not understand…  
A: (Tori, you're beautiful!)  
T: But why hold my hand?  
A: (Tori, you're beautiful!)  
T: And why do you speak  
A: (I really like your physique.)  
T: This way to me?  
A: (It fits your personality!)

T: I am only a pathetic widow.  
A: (You're the greatest person I know.)  
T: I could not save a single child.  
A: (I know that you've been drowning in grief.)  
T: Their bodies are not even buried!  
A: (But that's all right--they're easily carried!)  
T: I cannot reach them while exiled!  
A: (But now their graves should bring you relief.)

T: My clothing is frumpy.  
A: (But Tori, you're wonderful.)  
T: My belly is lumpy.  
A: (Tori, you're wonderful!)  
T: I wish you would stop  
A: (It really is true)  
T: This strange charade.  
A: (I really AM in love with you!)

T: I failed in my role as mother.  
A: (I wish that you were my lover...)  
T: I failed in my role as wife.  
A: (Because you're the brightest thing in my life!)  
T: And so, I cannot believe...  
A: (I mean it truly:)  
T: That I am beautiful!  
A: (Tori, you're beautiful!)

[instrumental break]

T: Are we singing a duet?  
A: We sure are!  
T: But Alphys… you are young and ambitious… there are so many more exciting people you should be singing duets with!  
A: B-but I don’t want them, Toriel! I only want you!

[end break]

A: You're gentle and wise...  
T: (But I am not beautiful.)  
A: And look at those thighs!  
T: (I am not beautiful!)  
A: I love how your ears  
T: (But never in all my years)  
A: Droop down your chest.  
T: (Have I met someone with your zest!)

A: Your figure is really nifty!  
T: (My measurements are triple-50!)  
A: And that's what I call perfection!  
T: (I do not have a visible waist.)  
A: You're built like a Doric column...  
T: (I'm only good for looking solemn.)  
A: And I love every single section!  
T: (My body is the color of paste.)

A: Your wool is so pure!  
T: (Still, I am not beautiful.)  
A: You're sweet and demure!  
T: (How could I be beautiful?!)  
A: Your horns are points in  
T: (You really are genuine!)  
A: A sacred crown.  
T: (Oh, Alphys, you could blow me down!)

A: For me you'll always be a royal.  
T: (You really are bizarrely loyal…)  
A: You'll always be my perfect queen  
T: (And yet I think I see what you mean!)  
A: I'll always love you!  
T: (Oh goodness, it's true!)  
A: Because Tori, you're beautiful!  
T: (I really am beautiful!)

[Sans leans in on trombone]:  
A-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-waaa…

[**************==********++++++++++++++]

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this around Christmastime, so my holiday spirit was raging at full blast. I cried multiple times when I wrote it and again when I revised it. I hope you did too!
> 
> Oh, and if you don’t count the bonus song, it’s still shorter than Chapter 16, which I intended to be the longest chapter. So… let’s not count the bonus song? Then again, if anyone wants to record themselves and a friend singing the bonus song, that would be amazing!
> 
> Can you find the contractions? There’s one in Toriel’s thought-speech and one in her lyrics! ;)


	39. Bridges for Burning

 [+]

**Scene 39: Bridges for Burning**

_or_

“Dummy Play!”  
  


* * *

  
“Hey Tori?” asked Alphys as she gathered up a trick and leaned forward to play a heart from dummy. “Why do they call it ‘bridge’?”

Toriel considered, rearranging her cards before following suit. “I gather it stems from the importance of communication between partners. When information is passed from one partner to the other, it creates a bridge of sorts, does it not?”

Alphys inserted the ten for a finesse. “I was thinking maybe it’s because you need entries to provide a bridge between declarer and dummy.”

Muffet collected the trick with her king and returned a spade. “If that’s the case, then it’s no wonder we spiders adore bridge! With our penchant for spinning webs over brooks, you’ll have to agree we’re the original bridge builders!”

“That is a fascinating thought,” said Toriel. “I have read that certain species of ant are capable of building bridges out of their own bodies. Are you confident that spiders were the first bridge builders?”

“Well, I think that’s a rather newfangled scheme on the geological scale,” Muffet replied. “And I’m not entirely certain that using yourself to bridge a gap should _count_ as a bridge. Surely it isn’t a bridge if I simply use my legs to step over a gap!”

“Indeed not, but we are talking about thousands of ants interconnected with each other. That is hardly the same as straddling a gap! Alphys, are you planning to play any time soon?”

Alphys was chewing her nails in a trance, staring at the cards. “Um! Sorry, but this is a really tricky hand!”

“You say that about _every_ hand you declare,” Muffet countered.

“Well, bridge is a really tricky game, especially if you think about all the possible distributions!” She paused in her deliberations to bestow a beaming smile. “Thanks again for teaching it to me, Tori.”

“I am delighted that you have taken so quickly to it! Asgore was rather fond of the game himself, but I have had very little opportunity to play since I moved to the Ruins.” The local spiders had been willing to occasionally indulge her, but their decks of cards were intolerably tiny and they were more into canasta, anyway. And while Toriel had occasionally had as many as three ghost friends over the centuries, they had a terrible time holding cards, which made play impractical. Plus, they did not make terribly reliable partners.

“It’s such a pleasure to be able to play in person,” said Muffet. “And we have Alphys to thank for that, of course. Such a wonderful limousine! Sometimes I sit it in even when I’m not driving anywhere, just for the added style. There are people that it just feels _better_ to talk to through the window of a limousine, if you know what I mean.”

“I am not certain I do,” said Toriel.

Before Muffet could explain, though, Alphys snapped her fingers in triumph and resumed play. “I’ve got it! I think I’ve got it. We go up with dummy’s ace and draw one round of trumps, then repeat the heart finesse, and unless Muffet was being  _really_ tricky…”

Muffet followed low with a huff. “Not that I’m not capable of it,” she declared. “I just didn’t happen to have the jack.”

“…Right! Then I can ruff a heart, draw the last trump, throw clubs on the ace-queen of hearts and duck a spade. I win any return in dummy, ruff a spade and cash the last trump! Assuming Tori really did have four spades and the queen of clubs for her bid, she can’t guard both black suits! Making five.” She sheepishly showed her hand. “Er… would you… would you rather we played it out?”

Toriel dropped her hands in frustration to the table. “Please.”

Alphys’s analysis had been sound, though, and she grinned even more sheepishly as she took the last trick with the five of clubs. “I think I’m getting pretty good at simple squeezes. Maybe soon I’ll be able to start finding criss-crosses!”

Sans sauntered in from the kitchen with a tray full of tiny sandwiches and a giant glob of ketchup. “so, d’ya make it?”

“Y-yes, but it took a lucky opening lead, a double finesse and a squeeze… we were two tricks overbid, Sans!”

“i knew you’d make it,” he shrugged. “i can always count on you to come up with something.”

“Even so,” Alphys protested. “Bidding with you is like riding a Hotland river on a boat made of cardboard!”

“we won the rubber, didn’t we?”

“Um, yes, I guess we won the rubber… but not by a lot, after that hand where you went to six spades without the king or queen, and Muffet doubled us! I mean, I may be clever, but there are some things I can’t do anything about!”

Sans shrugged and dipped a sandwich in ketchup. “we gonna play again?”

“I certainly haven’t had my fill yet!” said Muffet. “Are those sandwiches for all of us?”

“what, you don’t think i could eat two dozen sandwiches on my own? you can have some if you want.”

“So kind of you, dearie. Are there any with cucumber?”

“pretty sure they’ve all got cucumber. this one on the end is pretty much all cucumber.”

Toriel gathered in the cards. “I would not want to make Alphys unhappy,” she declared. “Are you really displeased with Sans as your partner?” Toriel and Alphys had started out playing together, but the two of them had cleaned house so thoroughly that it seemed unfair to pair up again.

Alphys looked guilty. “Well… it’s just, when he bids, I never know what to expect,” she explained.

Sans didn’t seem offended. “hey tori, why don’t you and me be partners? maybe we’ll all be happy that way.”

They were all willing to give this arrangement a try, and as it turned out, it was the key to their enjoyment of the game. Toriel’s expectations of bidding precision were more modest than Alphys’s, and so Sans’s unorthodox style did not upset her. Having a partner as patient as Toriel, moreover, unleashed Sans’s acuity. He demonstrated an uncanny ability to disrupt the opposition with psyches, trap passes and preempts, all the while seeming to care little. Alphys and Muffet had superior card play on their side, but against Sans’s unpredictability and Toriel’s excellent card reading honed by long experience, they found themselves struggling to keep up. But this didn’t discourage the enterprising duo. Instead, it drove them to perfect their system!  
  


* * *

 

> Dear Muffet,
> 
> I’ve been thinking about that last hand from your last visit—the one where we went down two in five clubs because Toriel got two heart ruffs. We would have done better in four spades, wouldn’t we? Even though we only had eight of them? I know we missed our spade fit in the auction, but I think we could have found it if we used a convention I read about called “New Minor Forcing.” I’ll describe it in Appendix A. Oh, and I also wanted to revisit the topic of upside-down attitude signals. They really do save you from spending useful intermediates, if you can just remember what they mean! And I know we have a lot to remember already, but the sooner we make the switch, the faster it’ll be second nature to us, so I think we should plunge right in. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Oh! And thanks for the spider brownies. Or should we call them ‘blackies’? Either way, they were delicious. Glad to hear everyone’s still so happy after getting back together. Are you really planning to open a massage parlor? It sounds kind of scary, so I hope you’ve put some thought into how you’re going to market it! Um… maybe don’t make the customers feel like trapped insects? That would be my first suggestion, but then again, I’m not really that good with people…  
>    
> 
> 
> * * *
> 
>   
>  Dearest Alphys,
> 
> I do hope you like the new stationery! I know the lavender writing in the background is hard to make out, but it spells ‘Ahuhuhu,’ a traditional spider laugh. I quite agree about the upside-down attitude signals—I haven’t spent enough time upside-down recently, and this may well encourage me to. This New Minor Forcing proposal you’ve described is intriguing, but wouldn’t it give up far too many natural bids? You know I identify with the club suit, dearie, just as you identify with diamonds. Should we really be making it harder to find minor suit fits? I suppose the sequence of responder bidding two diamonds over one no-trump after bidding a major over one club is expendable, since by our agreements we can’t hold a real diamond suit. Shall we agree to start with that scenario only?
> 
> As for the massage parlor, I fear I may not have fully explained our aims! You see, making the customer feel like a fly trapped by our diabolical machinations is part of the appeal. You might say that it’s a feature, not a bug…  
>    
> 
> 
> * * *

   
Undyne lowered the creased letter, reeking of rage and hope. She should have guessed. She should have guessed a _year_ ago. But somehow, her mind had been stuck like a minnow in a bucket on the idea that Alphys had jumped into the void. She’d had that useless royal scientist of hers working on a way to follow, but she’d just kept getting distracted by things like a new technique for extracting cheese from crystals. _Who needs to extract cheese from crystals?_ Undyne had roared. But the mouse had gushed on and on about the potential of discovering ancient cheeses unknown to monsterkind, and Undyne had all but given up on her. She’d have fired the mouse if she thought anyone else in her realm could do any better.

But when her guards had reported a commotion in upper Hotland along with a sudden increase in the number of spiders, Undyne had gotten suspicious. So she’d assigned Lesser Dog to dig through the spiders’ trash in search of anything that might tell her what was going on. At first it was only torn cocoons and out-of-style eight-legged hot pants, but now  _this._ A letter from Alphys to Muffet, discussing  _card games._ Muffet had known all along where Alphys was, but hadn’t said a word.

But now Undyne knew. The letter mentioned playing with Toriel, which meant that Alphys wasn’t at the bottom of the waterfall, in some other world. She’d just gone into exile with the old queen. Which meant, of course, that they’d been in cahoots from the beginning. Alphys hadn’t backed up the old queen because of some fluke spurt of honesty—they’d planned it together. Had Alphys been lying to Undyne when she’d given her the laser blasters? She must have been. What about that afternoon they’d spent making glorious, horrible spaghetti _a la_ Papyrus—had she been lying to her even then?

It was a horrible, caustic feeling, but it wasn’t all bad. Even as Undyne’s innards burned with anger, she was left with the reassuring realization that she’d been right. Alphys really had betrayed her. She’d deserved to be fired. Undyne had gone  _easy_ on her, not throwing her in a cell. The adorable lizard had been, after Asgore, Undyne’s favorite person in the world… and for more than a year, Undyne had been torn up over letting her die. Now she realized she’d been wrong to blame herself. Her battle instincts had been right. On some level, Alphys had never been her friend.

No, that was going too far. It had to be. No one could fake the kind of dorky enthusiasm Alphys had displayed when she’d forced Undyne to read her comic books or taught her the most awesome bits of human military history. They’d hung out together sometimes without knowing what to do, both of them just there because they wanted to hang out. That hadn’t been faked. Alphys really had been Undyne’s friend. They might even have become something more… but then that power-hungry pacifist idiot had come along and stolen her away! Somehow, Asgore’s ex had gotten to Undyne’s best pal. She’d corrupted her. She’d ruined their friendship.

And Undyne had just let her walk away after seizing power.  _That_ had been her real mistake.

The orange lizard kid stood there, nervously awaiting a reply for the letter he’d brought. Undyne turned her scowl to him. He went wide-eyed and flinched—still not used to her after all this time, huh? This kid might just be too soft to serve in her administration.

“Get Mettaton,” she growled.

“Yo, Your Majesty!” He bowed a spasmodic bow and dashed off.

Undyne jumped on her trampoline until Mettaton arrived. She’d managed to loosen the pad enough that she was almost hitting the ground, and the legs were going skew, scraping against the stone floor. That was how she liked it. If she couldn’t destroy the things around her when she wanted to destroy them, then they deserved to be destroyed.

“Having a lovely day, I see?” Mettaton stood in the door frame, one leg up against the other knee. “I assume Gerson sneaked in to lecture you again?”

She landed on the floor with a reverberating thud. “No. I got what I wanted. I found Alphys.”

She heard the faint sound of whirring as he recalibrated somehow. His eyebrows were raised. “Really! You have?”

“Yeah. She’s alive, even. And she didn’t even jump down the abyss.”

Now the robot’s eyebrows looked like some kind of fancy curve. “She didn’t? But the footprints, darling.”

“Well, maybe she jumped and changed her mind. But she’s not down there, tin legs. She’s in the Ruins. She followed the old queen and apparently they’re spending their days together, just relaxing and playing cards with spiders. Probably laughing at us. Lesser Dog found a letter in the spiders’ garbage.”

It looked like Mettaton was having almost as much trouble with this news as she was. “Alphys,” he said softly. “We just can’t get rid of you, can we?” He sighed. “So what do you intend to do about it? Pay her a visit?”

Undyne’s face hardened. “What do you think I should do? Send in the army and take her back?”

Mettaton set down his leg and posed without trying. “For what purpose, Your Majesty?”

She ground her teeth. “To get her back,” she snarled. “I want her back.”

“But again, darling—why? Do you really think you can trust any advice she gives? Do you really think you can put her back in her lab and force her to turn out inventions? If she wants to escape, mark my words—she’ll escape, and this time she won’t leave everything behind neatly labeled in boxes.”

He was right. But she couldn’t just  _leave_ Alphys there, could she? There had to be something left in her worth having. “I just want to be with her,” she admitted, not looking at the robot. “Just to spend time with her, just for the sake of spending time.” She felt her eyes glaze over with saltwater. “I want to know if she still loves me.”

A whirr of motors, and Mettaton walked forward. “I see. And if she does?”

Undyne met his eyes. “Then I want to be with her. I’ll forgive her. She was taken in by a con artist, and I’ll forgive her.”

“Naturally. So very compassionate of you. And if she doesn’t?”

Undyne darkened. She didn’t want to think about that.

“You’re putting me on edge, darling. I’m a bit worried you may be after the destruction of something more important than a trampoline.”

“I’ll kill her,” whispered Undyne, barely aware the words had escaped her lips.

“Kill Alphys? So soon after discovering she isn’t dead? That seems like a rather unusual expression of love, if you don’t mind my—”

“Toriel. The goat queen,” spat Undyne. “I’ll kill her for taking the most precious… the most precious thing…”

“…But is that really a fair reaction, Empress? I mean, I’m not happy when my show gets a poor review, but I don’t exactly put out a hit on the reviewer.”

“I should never have let her go,” Undyne realized. “I should never have let her live.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a bit unreasonable, Undyne? After all, she was only trying to pull the kingdom together in the face of Asgore’s death, and you threw her literally out of her own castle. Did she really deserve to _die_ as well?”

“She took Alphys,” Undyne murmured. “She tricked her somehow. Pulled the wool over her eyes. So much damned wool.”

“And I suppose none of this has anything to do with Asgore, and how she left him?”

Mettaton always knew how to strike a nerve. “OF COURSE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH HER LEAVING ASGORE!” She stomped right up to Mettaton and slammed a spectral spear into the floor. “If it weren’t for that… If it weren’t for that…!” Everything would have been different. The children would never have had to be killed… Asgore would never have had to go dark… chances were he’d still be alive right now.

“The truth is, you have no idea what would have happened. That was nine hundred years ago, Empress. That was a relationship you were never part of. Can you really sentence a woman to death based in part on a messy break-up that happened before your grandparents’ grandparents were a twinkle in their grandparents’ grandparents’ eyes?”

Undyne thought of Asgore, and of what he must have been like in the old days, before losing his entire family in a single day. “Yes,” she said. “Maybe you can’t, but I can.”

Mettaton sighed. “You really have a gift for holding grudges, Your Majesty.”

She knew that. Mettaton was being sarcastic, but it really  _was_ a gift. Sometimes, if a grudge went unbegrudged, the subject of the grudge would just go on taking, and taking. This grudge had never really been Undyne’s in the first place, but it was hers now. And when it came to grudges like this, someone had to hold them.

“Put the army on alert,” she ordered. “If I’m not back by this time tomorrow, tell them to march on the Ruins and break down the door. Tell them not to stop until the goat queen is _dead._ ”

Mettaton hesitated. “Of course, Your Majesty. So glad I could have the honor of providing advice for you to ignore.”

“Go suck on it, tin legs.”

“Very tempting.” He gave an elaborate, yet somehow still perfunctory bow and left the way he’d come. Undyne picked up her trampoline and threw it across the room.

“Yo,” said the distant voice of the page, still waiting in the corner of the room. “Are you all right, Empress? Haha.”

“I’m fine,” she told him, and then realized it was true. “I’m finally back to feeling the way I’m supposed to feel.” Incensed. Angry. On a mission for justice. She glared at the page. “Don’t you have anything better to do?”

He leapt, bowed, and dashed off, managing not to trip on his own tail this time.

Just as well she was alone. She didn’t want anyone to see her leave. Armies might march as a unit, but in a very real way, going to war was something a woman could only do alone.  
  


* * *

 

**  
WATCH OUT—HERE IS A BONUS SONG**   
(To “You'll Be Back” from  _ Hamilton  _ by Lin-Manuel Miranda)

UNDYNE:  
You say...  
That telling a lie is a price you're not willing to pay.  
Then why...  
Can't a plot twist go by without you being caught in a lie?  
You pretend  
That you'd rather jump off a cliff than be forced to come clean  
But in the end  
You went into exile so you could snog the queen...

Please come back. Just come home.  
I can't run this kingdom on my own.  
Please come back, don't make me beg  
I've been taken down a pretty peg  
Someday we'll break the wall!  
You'll be with me when the humans fall  
'Cause if push comes to shove  
Don't think I won't send the whole damn army to remind you of my love!

Fu hu hu hu hu... Fu hu hu hu ngaaah hu hu  
Fu hu hu hu hu ngaaah hu hu!  
Fu hu hu hu hu... Fu hu hu hu ngaaah hu hu  
Fu hu hu hu hu huuuu—

Remember all the console games you made me play?  
You're so cute when you jabber about anime.  
And don't forget the science  
The brilliant, nerdy science  
You lived for doing science:  
A fool could see the science.  
I love you  
I love you  
Oh, Alphys, oh Alphys,  
I love you!!

Please come back... like before  
And together we will win this war  
You will stand by my side  
As we orchestrate the crushing tide...  
Without you, I'm always mad!  
So don't throw away the bond we had  
Or when push comes to shove...  
I will KILL that fucking goat queen!! ...to remind you of my love.

Fu hu hu hu hu... Fu hu hu hu ngaaah hu hu  
Fu hu hu hu hu ngaaah hu hu!  
Fu hu hu hu hu... Fu hu hu hu ngaaah hu hu  
Fu hu hu...  
EVERYBODY!!

UNDYNE, FINAL FROGGITS, WHIMSALOTS AND ASTYGMATISMS:  
Fu hu hu hu hu... Fu hu hu hu ngaaah hu hu  
Fu hu hu hu hu ngaaah hu hu!  
Fu hu hu hu hu... Fu hu hu hu ngaaah hu hu  
Fu hu hu hu hu ngaaah hu huuuu...

UNDYNE: Oh, Alphys!

[================%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%]

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whatever our heroes may speculate, the word ‘bridge’ actually comes from ‘Biritch’, the name of a predecessor also known as Russian Whist.


	40. You're Going to Be Free

 [+]

**Scene 40: You’re Going to Be Free**

_or_

“Self-Determination”  
  


* * *

 

  
Teatime was quickly coming to be Alphys’s favorite part of the day. Of course, there was no actual  _Camellia sinensis_ in the Underground, so their tea wasn’t really ‘tea’… but Alphys only knew that from her animes. Any herb that tasted good infused in hot water was ‘tea’ for monsters, and they certainly had plenty of weird and nifty herbs. Toriel’s favorite variety was brewed from the hips and petals of golden flowers, but they couldn’t have that very often because their supply of golden flowers was limited to the tiny patch in the sun outside the catacombs. So instead, they sampled all sorts of different blends Toriel had learned to perfect over the centuries. Alphys was grateful and always made sure to attend to the complex flavors in her cup. Toriel would happily describe which notes and undertones she might want to pay attention to, and Alphys was thrilled to share the taste experience with her.

It had always been a relaxing time of day, but ever since Xmas, when Alphys and Toriel had finally hooked up, there’d been that extra level of connection to make it extra special. They said a lot of things with their pauses and silences, on top of what they said with their words and curious glances. Today, Alphys slurped her licorice root tea from her yellow cup (held in her two yellow hands) and looked to Toriel for encouragement, as if to see if she was doing it right. It felt silly, but she couldn’t  _not_ look at Toriel with a doofy smile, could she?

Toriel’s smile in return was so much nicer. It wasn’t just pleased—it was embarrassed, too! But somehow Toriel was so much better at being embarrassed than Alphys. She was almost embarrassed about it!

Well, someone had to break the silence, so as long as she was already embarrassed, Alphys figured she might as well ask what had been on her mind all day! “So! H-how’s the whole, uh… loving me project coming along?”

Toriel’s lips curled together bashfully as her ears rolled back. She took a deep sip before speaking to compose her thoughts. “That is a fair question, Alphys, and yet you have caught me off guard! I will say that when two people are close, as we are, they cannot help but love each other a bit more each day. And I believe that is, indeed, happening. But I cannot say that I have made any specific inroads!”

Alphys kicked her feet to relieve stress, then drank again. “Um… I’m kind of afraid to ask, but… which is the harder thing about me to love—my body or my, um… personality?”

Toriel chuckled nervously, exquisitely embarrassed. “Really now, is that any way to put things? Why do we not phrase the question in a more positive way and ask which aspect of you I find easier to love?”

Alphys bumped the chair’s legs with her heels. “Okay. So, uh… which?”

Toriel sipped. “Well. I have always found your personality rather appealing. And now that I have known you for five seasons, it is all the more so, because there is no doubt in my heart that you are earnest, and eager to please, and genuinely kind. You are inventive and intelligent and imaginative! And you are always seeking to improve yourself, which is something I find most attractive.”

Alphys blushed, folding in a little. “So, uh. My body, then? That’s the sticking point?”

Toriel extended her sizable hand to hold Alphys’s shoulder. “You are adorable to look at, Doctor. But if we are being honest… you are no Asgore.”

“Well… but is that bad? I mean, you did say it was okay that I’m different from him…”

Toriel’s thick hand disheveled the neckline of the polka-dotted dress. “It certainly is! And everyone has their own beauty. I will tell you this, Alphys—when I look at you, my heart feels joy. Even seeing something yellow fills me with joy.”

“Because it reminds you of me?” Alphys asked excitedly.

“Because it reminds me of you,” beamed Toriel.

“But… even though I fill you with joy, you still don’t love the way I look?”

Her expression was so tender, so sorry. “Not in the way you feel about me! I wish I did, Alphys. I wish I found you ravishing, as if I could hardly keep myself from seizing you and hugging you to my bosom! But… how can I say this? When I look at you, I feel excitement… but it is an emotional excitement, not a physical one.”

“I can’t blame you,” said Alphys, staring at her own chubby toes. “I’m not very physically exciting. But I g-guess that’s what we need to work on, huh? We need to make it so you find me more… physically exciting! Right?”

Toriel smiled. “It appears that is where we are!”

“Right. So!” Alphys set aside her teacup and frowned in thought. “W-well,” she suggested, “m-maybe what you should do is… focus on a particular part of me each day, and, um… work on loving it!”

Toriel set her feet down neatly beside each other. “That is a very sensible idea!”

Alphys grinned sheepishly up at her, curling her tail in her lap. “M-maybe you could start with… my tail?”

Toriel considered. “Perhaps that is a bit too advanced to begin with. Shall we begin instead with… your head spikes?”

This made Alphys uncomfortable. “You think my head spikes are easier to love than my tail?”

“They are more immediately present. I can hardly imagine you without thinking of them.”

“But… but they’re… they’re spikes!” Alphys ran her hand over the second one. “They’re for… headbutting people, I think. I’ve never ever used them for anything. It’s… it’s a little embarrassing I even have them.”

“But they are part of you,” pressed Toriel. “And they are adorable. Even if you have never used them directly for any purpose, it is still fair to say that they have a… SPIKE-ological effect!”

Alphys giggled despite herself. “Oh my god, Tori.”

Toriel leaned forward. “I am serious, Alphys. You may think they do not a-MOUNT to much, but I find them in-SPIRE-ing!”

Alphys clutched her front headspike with both hands as if trying to defend herself. “This isn’t fair! I wasn’t ready!”

“But you are always so SHARP-headed, doctor! Are you unable to take your LUMPS?”

She peered up tentatively. “I guess they…h-have their ups and downs?” she ventured.

“You are too modest! Even at a PEAK, they are VALLEY beautiful.”

Sans yelled all the way from his room at the end of the hall: “someone in there using all caps?”

“We will be good, Sans!” Toriel shouted back.

Alphys laughed in discombobulation. “I… guess you have a point?”

“And you have three, doctor! In perpetuity!”

Alphys giggled and climbed up into Toriel’s lap, a reaction that came naturally to her when she was overwhelmed with emotion. “Wh-when I suggested trying to love parts of me… I didn’t think you’d do it like this!”

“Nor did I!” Toriel laid her hands over Alphys and stroked her ever so gently with her fingers. “But sometimes we must do what comes naturally.”

And how! “Well, if puns are the only way you can love my body… th-then I’m all for it!”

Toriel sat with her for a while, stroking her as if the moment need never end. Alphys relaxed and lay limply against her lover’s belly.

“In all seriousness, though, Alphys. I do adore your head spikes. They do not make me think of violence. Would you like to know what they do make me think of?”

Alphys hugged a little bit tighter. “Wh-what do they make you think of, Tori?”

Toriel took a breath. “They are rolling hills over which to roam, the kind that you are wont to conquer. You are not content to stay on level ground, Alphys, nor to remain on a single peak once you have attained it. You are a rover—intellectual and spiritual alike! Great peaks of mastery have risen from your remarkable cranium—that is what I think of when I see your spikes.”

Alphys shivered against the warm purple robe. This was too good. Could things be  _too_ good? “Tori! You’re so good at this! You make me feel like a million G’s. Do my snout!”

A fuzzy white fingertip rubbed Alphys’s snout playfully. “Should we not spend more time on your head spikes? I assumed that we would attempt no more than one part per day, in order to let my love sink in.”

“Oh! Okay. That seems fine to me!” She giggled. But the truth was, she could hardly wait to hear what Tori had to say about her tail, her snout, her feet, her earholes… all the rest of her! Lying there, she realized that imagining what Tori would say made Alphys love _herself_ more. And that meant… that meant this was working! It was working already! The two of them could learn to love Alphys more together, and what better bonding activity could a couple ask for? Except bridge, maybe. And roleplaying! And bedtime stories. And sharing a bed! Really, Alphys didn’t even know how to rank all these activities—she loved them all more than anything! And of course, she knew that was logically impossible—you can’t love multiple things A and B both more than anything, because then you’d have to love them more than each other. But in some sense, it felt right to say that Alphys loved everything she did with Toriel more than anything else, because at the time she was doing any given activity, she really—

_Brrrrrrrriing._

Oh no. What was… who was…

Now?!

Alphys squirmed. “Does… does anyone else have your number but…”

_Brrrrrrrriing._

Sans’s voice sounded from the other room: “someone want to get that who isn’t me?”

Alphys leapt off Toriel’s lap and scurried to the phone.

_Brrrrrrrriing._

Toriel stood and walked closer in wonder. “Is it…?”

Sure enough: THE HUMAN. “Yeah,” said Alphys, holding out the phone. “Here. They’re yours.”

_Brrrrrrrriing._

Alphys wondered what was going to happen. The human couldn’t do anything to them over the phone, but… she was still chilled, somehow. Toriel took the phone and pressed the Talk button. “My child?”

She listened to a voice Alphys couldn’t hear, clutching her wrist with the hand not holding the phone. Her eyes were apprehensive. “I am surprised to hear from you after so long!”

A muffled response. Toriel looked at Alphys, and at Sans, who’d just wandered in. “My child, may I place you on speakerphone?”

You put people on speakerphone, Alphys reflected, you don’t ‘place’ them there. Typical Toriel. She didn’t smile, though.

Toriel pressed the button, filling the room with the sounds of mountain wind, just as it had been over a year ago.

“I was… I was just saying that I maybe should have called before,” said the uncertain voice of the human, “but it takes a whole day to make the trip, and it never seemed like the right time. There was always something I could be doing instead of coming out here to call… and I didn’t want to call until I had something.”

“had something?” asked Sans.

There was a pause. “Hi, Sans,” said the child. “I’m glad you’re there. Is anyone else listening?”

“I’m—I’m here,” chimed Alphys.

“And I,” said Toriel.

“Good. Do the three of you… like, live together?”

Alphys found herself momentarily speechless. “that’s about the size of it,” said Sans.

“That’s kind of funny. You all lived in different places when I came through,” said the child.

“Yes. But now we live together,” said Toriel.

“and it’s all because of you,” said Sans.

“Me?” asked the timid voice. “How?”

“that’s what happens when you rampage through a kingdom. can’t be surprised when things get stirred up.”

“Oh… I didn’t realize.”

Alphys stepped forward. “It’s not all bad! If it weren’t for you, Queen Toriel and I would never have met… and we never would have become friends…”

“And we would never have become girlfriends,” continued Toriel. It still made Alphys nearly squeal with joy, hearing that word in Toriel’s mouth.

“…Girlfriends?” said the child. “Wait… do you mean you and Alphys… are going steady?”

“We are going very steady indeed,” declared Toriel.

“Oh gosh… that’s so funny. Is that really because of me?”

“Well, yes!” Alphys interjected. “In a way. But you definitely could have made it easier! You met her before I did… why didn’t you tell me the queen was so cute?”

The child sputtered. “I didn’t even think of it. Do monsters just… not care about who’s a girl and who’s a guy? Like, two girls can be into each other and it’s not a big deal?”

“I think it’s a v-very big deal,” said Alphys. “And y-yes, most monsters do care…. I’m just… a little different that way.”

“And she is also remarkably persistent,” said Toriel. “And surprisingly patient! I did not know if I could love again, having lost Asgore… but in the end, she was my light in the darkness, and now I am hers.”

The child seemed to take a moment, letting this sink in. “Are you going to get married? Is that a thing monsters do?”

They exchanged a very awkward look. The subject  _had_ come up, but… “We’ll figure that out when it’s time,” said Alphys. She was surprised at the maturity of her answer.

“We do practice marriage, yes,” said Toriel. “And it is possible. But we are in no hurry, living in exile as we are.”

“Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that.”

“eh. exile is just a homeland you haven’t met yet,” joked Sans.

The child took a breath. There was a sigh, maybe the wiping of a nose or a catching of breath. “I told myself I wouldn’t say sorry. You were right, Sans. Sorry isn’t enough. I owe you my life.”

Sans looked confused. “who? tori? ‘cause she made me promise not to hurt you?”

“All of you. Monsterkind. I don’t mean you saved my life, or spared me, or anything. I mean I… I _owe_ you my life. It’s a debt. It belongs to you. I realized that after I called the first time. I don’t have the right to it anymore.”

Alphys inhaled sharply her buckteeth pressing against her lip. What was the child saying?

“Everyone has the right to live their own life, my child,” said Toriel. “And you cannot come back to us.”

“I know.” There was resignation in the voice, and resolve. “But I can’t just forget what happened. I can’t just keep living my life like I never fell into the mountain, like you don’t exist.”

Alphys wondered about that. “They—they don’t know we’re here, do they? Toriel said you told her humanity thinks we’re… just a legend?”

“Nobody knows. I didn’t know, until Suzy called me. Monsters are a mystery. Even the teachers won’t tell you if they’re real or not. You ask, but all they say is stuff like, ‘What do you believe?’ Like everyone has to make up their own minds.”

“I wonder if perhaps is it better that way,” said Toriel.

“It’s not,” said the child. “It can’t be. Because if they don’t know you’re real, they can’t ever let you go, can they? I mean… tell me if I’m wrong… it takes seven humans to give their souls to break the barrier, right?”

Alphys stepped forward. “Um… no one really knows. The humans didn’t exactly tell our ancestors exactly what spell they were planning… we’ve got snippets of legends about the seven wizards, but it’s not really clear… I mean, I thought you wouldn’t be able to go through the barrier at all without k-killing Asgore, and I was wrong…”

“Suzy thinks it takes a sacrifice!” the child cried. “She thinks it’s not enough for seven humans to just show up at the barrier and decide they want to free monsterkind. That would be too easy, wouldn’t it? Any random group of troublemakers could have done that at any time. The wizards gave their lives to make the barrier… that’s what Suzy says… and anyone who wants to break it has to do that, too. …Is she wrong?”

Alphys didn’t know Suzy had stayed in contact with the child. She had a lot of questions, but Toriel responded. “That is most likely the case, yes. It is possible that a particular spell may be required. But I am unsure.”

“Well.” The child took a deep breath, then talked for a long time, fast enough it would have been hard to interrupt. “I live in a small village where everyone knows everyone else, and the old people just live with their children, but the next big town isn’t like that—there’s a retirement home there. So I’ve been volunteering there and getting to know the people living there. Some of them are too senile to really understand me, and… and some of them are selfish, and I haven’t bothered with them. But all the rest… I’ve told them about you, the monsters. I told them that you’re real, and you’re still living Underground… and that you’re good, mostly… at least as good as us, anyway. And I told them how many amazing kinds of monsters there are, and how wonderful you are, and how you deserve to be set free. How everyone would be happier in the end if you were free. And… and most of them don’t believe me. I don’t know if I’d believe it either. Some of them believe me, but they turn out to hate monsters, or to hate change. And… and a few of them believed me, and they agreed it would be wonderful if the Underground could go free, but most of them are too afraid to help… they’ve been doing nothing but being _old_ for so long that anything else is terrifying for them. And there’s a few, including a married couple, who really want to help, but they’re not willing to give up their _lives_ … they aren’t that old yet, and they still have plenty to live for. And there’s one lady who said she’d give up her life, except she’s already promised it to the Son of God, who’s waiting for her in Kingdom Come. So… so that leaves one guy… his name’s Lance… he’s eighty-six years old and dying of pulmonary disease, and he…” The voice caught. “…He says he’ll give up his life to free the monsters. If that’s what it takes. So, that’s… that’s two down and five to go. Because there’s me, too. And I know I can find the rest. There’s another retirement home in the town across the valley, and I’ve been asking my parents if I can go there to volunteer. But if they tell me I can’t, I’ll go anyway. I’ll keep going places. And with my luck Lance’ll probably die before I find five more people, but I’ll keep trying, and I’ll get faster at it, and eventually I’ll get six at once, and we’ll all go up the mountain to the barrier… I don’t know how I’ll get all those old people all that way, but we’ll think of something, we’ll figure something out… and then we’ll…” The voice broke into sobs. “We’ll end this! We’ll undo what they did five thousand years ago! We’ll set you free, and if this doesn’t work I’ll try something else, but this is my _life_ … I may pretend to be going to school and looking ahead, but this is _all_ my life is now, and I won’t stop trying until you’re free. I swear it—I _promise_ it—you’re going to be free!”

_Oh My God._ What. What had happened to the human? This was unbelievable. This was insane. Were they serious? Was this a good thing? Would it… would it actually work?

Alphys had no idea what to say, but Toriel, who seemed to be slightly less shocked, replied. “My… my child… this is so much to take in. Forgive me.” She gathered herself for a moment while the mountain breeze served as background. “My child, I am overwhelmed by what you have told me. Is it true that you are… dedicating your full self to saving monsterkind? You are not fooling with a silly old woman?”

“Mom, no. I want to save you. But it’s more that I don’t have a choice. I have to. My life isn’t mine anymore. It’s yours.”

It was obvious Toriel felt a surge of pleasure at being called ‘Mom’. But her discomfort was greater. “My dear child, you cannot… I am impressed almost beyond measure by your efforts, but you must not see things this way. You are young, and strong, and your life must be your own. It  _must_ be.”

“But it’s not,” cried the child. “I came to your realm. I took Papyrus’s life, and Woshua’s. I can’t give them back. All I have to give is my own life, and that doesn’t cover it. But that’s all I can give.”

“My child…” Toriel seemed on the brink of tears. “If I am a mother to you in any way, I cannot permit you to carry on this way. Did you say that you had two down, and five to go? Are you planning to sacrifice _yourself_ to the barrier? No, Frisk. Your future is so promising… you must not _contemplate_ such a terrible choice.”

“It isn’t a choice. I don’t own my life anymore. I gave it up when I decided to give killing a try. I know some of the monsters were trying to kill me too—even Suzy, she told me so—but they had a good reason. Freedom. I didn’t have any reason at all.”

“Who has put this thought into your head?” Toriel demanded. “Was it Suzy?”

“No, she doesn’t want me to do it either. I figured it out myself. I mean, I’ve been talking to a lot of old people, and some of them really know a lot about… what’s right. They helped me realize what I had to do. If I find six humans willing to die to break the barrier, I’ll be the seventh. And I know, in all the wide world, with its billions of people, there _must_ be six people who care enough. There must be. And I’ll find them.”

“But it does not have to be this way!” cried Toriel. “I release you from your debt! You were foolish, and you made mistakes, but it should not cost you your existence!”

There was a moment’s pregnant silence. “Thanks, Mom,” the child eventually said. “That means a lot to me. It means a lot to me that you want me to grow up. But you can’t do that. You can’t erase my debt. My debt’s to the whole Underground.”

Toriel clutched the phone tightly in both hands. “And if I were to convince every monster in the Underground to release you from your debt,  _then_ would you agree to grow old?” she pled.

The child hesitated. “I guess,” they allowed. “But don’t you want to be free?”

Now Toriel closed her eyes. Alphys thought of stepping in, but knew this was Toriel’s call to make. And Sans’s, maybe. But  _she_ wanted freedom! She knew it would be dangerous, and she knew it would come at a cost, but it had to happen eventually, and it would be glorious. Alphys asked herself whether she would give up her life to free the monsters, and found, to her surprise, that the answer was  _yes_ .

“I suppose I do,” said Toriel at last. “But does the surface want us?”

“I don’t know if they want you,” said the child. “But I think they _need_ you. We need you. A lot. More than anyone knows.”

“And do we need humankind? Is our need mutual?”

The child took several audible breaths. “I don’t know. I think maybe you do.”

“If I cannot stop you in your quest,” said Toriel, “then I wish you good speed and friendly comrades. I just… I just wish you did not have to die in order to set us free! I would like to see your face again!”

“Maybe we can see each other through the Barrier? I mean, you can see sunlight, so why not people? We just need to figure out where the light comes through. But not now. I’m cold and hungry and I’ve got to go back.”

Toriel bore up. “Do not be afraid to enlist others who feel as you do, my child, even if they are not willing to give their own lives. They may help you widen the search. Can I assume that you do not trust your own parents?”

“They wouldn’t be okay with it.”

“I should hope _not!_ Put yourself in their position and ask yourself what you would want to be told.”

A breath. “Okay. I will.”

Toriel sniffled into the phone. “My dear child… Frisk. I am so very proud of you!”

From the sound of it, Frisk was crying too. “I wish you could have been my mom for real. Sometimes I imagine what things would’ve been like if you’d destroyed that tunnel and kept me there. What would we be doing now? What would my future look like? What would  _I_ be like? I just don’t know.”

“We cannot know,” said Toriel. “But if I had been honored by destiny to be your mother… I should have been very proud indeed.”

One last sniffle. “Thanks, Mom. You deserve better children than me. But thanks anyway.”

“Frisk… my dear. There would be no point in a mother having perfect children. What could she teach them?”

This was met by a weak chuckle. “I’m so glad I got to talk to you. I was looking forward to this for so long.”

“And we have been hoping to hear from you as well. Does that mean that you must go?”

“I should go, yeah. It’s cold, and I’m hoping to get home by sundown.”

“May I blow you a kiss through the telephone?”

Another chuckle. “I don’t think the phones work like that, Mom.”

“Nonsense. I shall press the KISS button and blow you a kiss now. Be prepared to catch it!” She pressed one of the buttons, making a tone sound, and kissed the receiver end of the phone, making a loud smack. “Did you receive my kiss?”

There was a brief pause. “Yeah, Mom. Yeah, I got it.”

“I am relieved to hear that. Goodbye, my brave little child. You have made me so proud.”

“Goodbye, Mom,” said the shaky voice.

“Good luck,” said Toriel. She waited; the dial tone returned.

“Wow,” said Alphys.

Toriel was still, looking at the phone in her hand.

“welp. that’s it,” said Sans, seemingly in pain.

“What do you mean?” Alphys asked.

He didn’t answer. Toriel finally set down the phone and went to put her arm over his shoulders. He slumped to the floor beside the wall, and she sat with him.

“remember back when i forgave you, al? for papyrus? you know how i was able to do that?”

Humbly, she walked over too. “Wasn’t it… because I finally realized what I’d done?”

“nope. that helped. but it wasn’t until the next day i actually forgave you. you know why?”

Alphys remembered. “B-because Frisk called?”

“bingo. i only managed to forgive toriel and myself because you didn’t realize what his death meant, so i could still hate you. and later on, i even managed to forgive you because at least i could still hate the kid. the kid who actually did it. the kid whose fist went through him and turned him to dust. it felt good to forgive you.”

Alphys waited for him to say more. “Well… I’m glad! But…”

“but now?” Sans’s eyes went dark. “now i can’t even hate the kid anymore. how could i hate them, after a speech like that? they’re giving themselves to us. they’re gonna spend every last hour of their life working to set us free. because they know how wrong it was to do what they did. who knew a kid could grow up so fast?”

“It is truly remarkable,” said Toriel softly.

“so now i’ve got to forgive the kid,” Sans said.

There was an ominous stillness as the blackness in him grew.

“there’s no one left to hate now.”

“But surely that is a good thing,” pled Toriel.

“a good thing? sure, i can see how it’s a good thing. no one to hate, everything’s tidy and fair. noplace left to put my anger. nothing left to sink my sadness into. i’ve got to forgive the goddamn kid.”

Alphys hugged him and closed her eyes.

“pap.” Sans stirred, shifting to slump less crookedly against the wall. “i miss you. i would never let you go if i had it to do over. there’s this anger in me, over you, that i can’t get over. i can’t get rid of it. i can’t dig through it. it’s filling me. and now… now i’ve got to let it go. somehow, i’ve got to dig deep and let it go.”

Alphys could feel Toriel’s breath near her. Neither of them spoke, but they both held Sans tenderly.

It was a long time they spent in silence.

“goodbye, pap,” said Sans at last. “goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Papyrus,” murmured Toriel.

Alphys followed her lead. “Goodbye,” she whispered.

Sans seemed to be getting hotter, but she didn’t let go or open her eyes. She held him as the heat grew, until it felt like she was holding a radiator made of bones. She just squeezed harder.

There was stillness again, as if a sled were teetering on the brink of a precipice.

“kid,” said Sans in a broken voice. “i forgive you.”

Three bells chimed.

The heat drained away from Sans, and so did the tension. Alphys opened her eyes. She’d somehow expected to find the room transformed—strange colors, things floating in the air, light and darkness, something. But it was just the foyer. They were huddled together in a mess against the wall, and Sans was looking up. The pupils returned to his eyes. He seemed to be peering at something a thousand miles away.

“huh. that’s funny. i thought i would feel empty.”

After a short pause, Toriel asked: “How  _do_ you feel?”

Sans slowly stood up. He stopped staring and looked around the room instead. He looked at Alphys, and at Toriel, and down at himself.

“i feel easy,” he said.

Alphys stood up and hugged him again. Somehow, she didn’t need to ask what he meant.  
  


* * *

  
From that day on, Sans was easier to be with. He was nicer. His eyes were brighter. His smile was more real. Alphys found that she wasn’t afraid of him anymore, which was how she realized that she’d  _been_ afraid of him, at least a little bit, all this time. She’d been afraid he’d lash out at her, or say something unexpected and cutting, or bid seven spades for no reason, or make a dark observation about her, or worse, about himself. She’d never quite gotten over the fear that he’d throw her out into the snow, back when she’d been helpless in bed and stood—well,  _laid_ —judgment before him. Gradually, Alphys had come to accept that that was just who Sans was, and to know him was to be a little bit afraid of him. Except… now it wasn’t anymore. Sans was humble without being judgmental. He was a pal, the laid-back kind of guy you couldn’t be afraid of even if you tried. The kind of guy who put ketchup on everything and made you want to laugh just by being himself. The kind of guy it was easy to be around.

The transformation was nothing but subtle. It was all subtleties—when she tried explaining it to Napstablook, Alphys had trouble pointing to anything in particular that had changed. But all those subtleties added up to a huge difference. Somehow, with the tiniest little changes, her companion’s whole demeanor was different. And it was for the better—there was no doubt it was for the better. When they discussed it, Sans said he regretted not letting go of the hatred long before. It had almost led to him telling Alphys to leave the house when she’d asked him for penance, and if he’d done that, he admitted, hanging his head, it would have cost Toriel so much joy. Then again, he went on, if he hadn’t held his grudge, he might not have been able to judge the child properly. Hatred serves a purpose, he said. And someone’s got to bear it.

“But does it really matter that you were able to judge Frisk?” Alphys asked.

“nah. not really. toriel already knew how to feel about the kid. she’s good like that.”

Alphys blushed. “Yeah. Yeah, she really is.”

Sans shrugged. “hatred may serve a purpose, but it’s not really indispensable, you know?”

Alphys grinned. “I think I know what you mean.”  
  


* * *

 

  
When was the last time Alphys had hated herself? The feeling was so distant now, she could hardly remember. There were still bits and pieces of herself that she hated from time to time, sure. But in the past, she’d sometimes taken hold of all those little bits and pieces at once, and called it self-hatred because it was easier. One big bundle was easier to handle than a hundred little ones. Just call it Alphys and say it’s terrible. These days, she never did that anymore. She didn’t have that many things left to hate about herself, so she could afford to take them one by one. And besides, she knew hating herself was wrong. She imagined Toriel’s reaction and didn’t even want to think about it.  _What good can it do to hate yourself, doctor? How can goodness possibly come from something like that?_

It couldn’t. It would only make a mess. You can’t get rid of yourself, so why hate yourself? Beside, Alphys was learning all about something new— _loving_ herself. Aside from Tori learning to love her during their teas one body part at a time, they also shared Tori’s bedroom these days… and that meant spending every night together, and every morning. For a lot of that time Alphys was in her undies, or even completely naked, and the more time Toriel spent with her without any pause in her adoration, any sign that she thought Alphys was faulty… well, the more Alphys came to love herself. It was amazing how it worked like that. She didn’t need to make any special effort to love herself, like Toriel was doing. All they had to do was spend time together, and Alphys felt better about herself each day.

She liked the fact that Toriel kept a mirror in her house. Alphys had mirrors for labwork, but she’d never put one up on the wall because she just didn’t like looking at herself. Now, every morning when she wasn’t in too much of a hurry, she would stop in front of the mirror and turn around and around, just watching herself move. She watched her chunky three-toed feet turn and bend, her thick tail lagging slightly behind until she overcompensated subconsciously and made it wind ahead. She watched her giant sweeping butt in motion—not so giant as it had been before she went into exile, she noticed proudly. Alphys had lost a lot of weight in the Ruins despite Toriel’s pies and cookies. She smiled into the mirror at an angle, as if she were someone else just noticing herself.  _Who’s that little lizard girl with the pretty snout?_ she’d ask herself.  _Is she as nice as she looks? Is she… is she smart too? Someone that cute couldn’t possibly have a brain in her head, could she?_ And then she’d grin like nobody’s business, because she knew the answer.

As time went on, Toriel kept finding ways to adore parts of Alphys that Alphys had never imagined. That meant every time she twirled in front of the mirror, she was armed with a new angle for enjoying herself. Her teeth were meek little thoughts, waiting their turn to be acknowledged. Her fingers were nimble and clever, capable of forming any letter of the alphabet with ease. Her belly was curved just enough to make it clear she was a trove with goodness to spare. And her nostrils were dignified little points of wisdom in a golden yellow sea of serenity. Alphys was getting more beautiful by the day without having to change at all! They’d decided to save her eyes for last, because it was good to have something to LOOK forward to.

On top of all this, things were even progressing on the soul detector project! For weeks, Alphys had been in correspondence with Sans’s friend, the secret human, working out what he was and wasn’t willing to do. At first, Alphys had a lot of trouble understanding his writing—he talked in riddles and non-sequitors. But after the fifth letter or so, she suddenly realized it was making sense—you just had to think about it from the right angle. For Alphys, the right angle was early in the morning on the way to her lab. During that walk she would think about his letter, realize what it meant, and come up with a reply. It didn’t help that every time she sent a letter with Sans, she’d get a letter back the same day replying to the  _previous_ letter she’d sent. Talking with this guy was like trying to learn a new language!

But one day she suddenly realized where she recognized his style of communication. “Are you the riverman?!” she excitedly wrote.

“Maybe I’m the riverwoman. Maybe I’m a bird with willpower leaking from my uropygial gland, or an eager face in search of a shoe. Or maybe I just meet with them for watercress sandwiches every Wednesday,” he wrote back two letters later.

“Um, okay. Well, if you are, then it’s kind of neat I know you already. Kind of, anyway. So you’ve been hiding in plain sight!”

“It only works when one’s captors search in complicated darkness. Have you?”

“I’m… yes, I think so. But it’s less dark every day! Would you be willing to meet? I could come ride your raft if you’d rather not come here.”

“The river is a way out, no matter how many slings and arrows surround you. But where are you going?”

“Is that a yes? Should I come visit you? I can ride back and forth, but I’ll be in disguise.”

“I may put on a few million extra pairs of pants for the occasion. You can never have too many layers!”

“Um… I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on that. Sometimes simpler is better! But I’ll see you soon! I’ll be the pink wormy thing. I won’t give you away if you won’t give me away!”

“Truly, that would be the whitest of white elephant exchanges. Tra la la!”

So they’d met in person, and it had gone pretty okay! As a matter of principle, he’d refused to let her leave the raft at the same place she’d gotten on, but she didn’t really mind the extra walk. Alphys had described what she wanted him to do—spend time with a set of generic plush dolls she’d brought for testing purposes. But not all at the same time! There was one he was supposed to be affectionate with, and one he was supposed to be cruel to, and one he was supposed to do whatever he was best at doing with—whatever his personal magic was, if he, aheh, had magic. And one he was supposed to just keep around and not do anything in particular with. Would he mind terribly doing that for a fortnight and then letting Alphys take the dolls back for testing, she’d asked? It might help monsterkind go free. And he’d said such weird things about the dolls that after half an hour of explaining, Alphys still wasn’t sure he’d understood. But she left the dolls with him anyway, and in a few days, she’d gotten a letter back: “Dolls are like statues. Statues bring out the evil in people. I was a statue’s pet once. Now the tides are turned! P.S. Everyman says hello, cries for mercy, leaps for joy and stares at the ceiling, respectively.”

He was so weird. But Sans said that was just the result of what Gaster had done to him. Gaster had been an amazing person, but letting him have his way without limits, on anything, was always a mistake. There was nothing he hadn’t been able to break.  
  


* * *

  
The biggest thing, though, in Alphys’s life these days, even bigger than her research, was the love front. God, she loved Toriel. She’d been afraid that once her crush wasn’t a crush anymore, but a real, honest-to-the-stars relationship, it wouldn’t be as exciting. But it was actually  _more_ exciting, because unlike a static crush, it was moving forward! It was exciting like… like riding a raft was more exciting than just sitting on one. Like playing a video game was more exciting than just reading the walkthrough. They held hands at random times for no reason. Alphys caught Toriel sometimes gazing at her from a distance in adoration, and it was the most thrilling thing, because Alphys had thought only she did that.

Sometimes Toriel called Alphys “my child,” just to be naughty. Usually it was an occasional thing, but some days it was “my child” all day long, as a running joke. “Would you please take out the garbage, my child?” “You are looking very delectable in that kimono, my child.” It never got old—Alphys shivered with excitement every time. But eventually they’d both laugh about it when it had gotten too silly, and then it was back to “Alphys” and “dear one,” and when Toriel was feeling a bit playful, “Doctor.”

They slept together every night. It hadn’t gotten too intense yet, since they both seemed to want to take it slow, but they fell gradually more easily into touching each other. Alphys liked pressing her snout against Toriel’s neck and rubbing her with it. She liked reverently feeling her horns, from the base to the tip, as if they were gifts crafted just for her. She liked lying with her earhole against Tori’s belly and listening to her heartbeat, as if she were hearing the rush of her dreams from over the ocean. And when Alphys did any of these things, Toriel simply gathered Alphys in her arms and held her tenderly. This simple, loving act seemed to give Toriel infinite satisfaction. Sometimes Alphys envied the fact that Toriel could make herself happy so easily… but then again, as nice as simple cuddling was, Alphys liked playing with her lover, and she wouldn’t have wanted to give it up.

And she’d discovered something else wonderful about Toriel—she purred! Sort of, anyway. When Tori was really happy, her rumbling sighs felt a lot like purring. If Alphys was lying on her belly, she could hear and feel the deep rumbles at the same time, and it was like she was drifting in a wavepool of sheer contentment.  
  


* * *

  
They lay side by side, energy depleted, hands clasped. Toriel’s purring was faint, but Alphys could still feel it through her hand. She was sleepy but thrilled just the same.

“Tori?” she croaked, now down to her meekest voice.

“Yes, Alphys?”

She tightened her squeeze. “This is kind of a strange question, but… do you love  _your_ own body?”

Toriel could meet this with only a sleepy, high-pitched laugh. “Is this how pillow talk between us will be, Alphys?”

Alphys chortled self-consciously. “I guess I am kind of a weird partner. But I just wanted to know because… you’re so good at finding things about me to love… and I’ve been loving you all night… but do you love  _yourself?_ I want you to love yourself, Tori.”

The boss monster sighed, her smile not disappearing, and lay still a while. “I think that if you are going to ask difficult questions in bed, it is only fair if I am permitted to take my time in answering.” She yawned deeply. “It is even possible, if my thoughts are deep enough, that I may fall asleep without answering at all. I hope that is acceptable?”

“Oh, s-sure, Tori. Take your time.” Alphys snuggled up close and listened to what she thought was Tori’s heartbeat. The darkness of the bedroom settled more thoroughly around them.

“I do love my own body in a familiar way,” Toriel murmured at last. “In the way that one loves the things one trusts and knows, so do I love myself. Just as I love this home. I am dependable.”

“You sure are!” Alphys exclaimed.

Toriel rolled over to lay one weighty arm over her companion. “My temperament has become even over the ages, and my body does not change.”

Alphys shivered. “It really  _never_ changes?”

“It does not! Since the death of my first son, I have not aged.”

“But… but don’t you sometimes get… stronger and weaker? When you—when you do a lot of exercise, or… don’t? And don’t you get, um… f-fatter and thinner?” Alphys hated the suggestion of Toriel ever being weak or fat, but she had to know.

“I do change in those small ways,” Toriel admitted, “but only a very little. My ways are set, Alphys. At least they were until I met you!”

“Aheh. Who knows? Maybe if I keep making you come haul raw materials and dig holes and smelt ore with me, you’ll get buff and slender. Maybe you’ll be a muscle goat!”

Toriel ‘tssh’ed and pushed Alphys’s snout with two fingers. “I have noticed that you have become rather slimmer yourself! And if I am not mistaken, you are stronger than you used to be as well.”

Alphys grinned with pride. “I guess you’ve… had me living the good life!”

“If my humble life is the good life, then I am very pleased to share it with you.”

“It is,” whispered Alphys. “It really is. Since I moved here, I haven’t been addicted to a single video game, or binged on ramen and soda even once! I just c-can’t believe for that my whole life, I felt like I was struggling to… to fit in, I guess, or… to be useful? I don’t even know what I was struggling for. I just know that I felt wrong… in some deep way I could never put my finger on… and there were times I felt like it was… I don’t know… just part of life to feel that way? Or maybe just… maybe just part of being me. But now I… I don’t feel that way anymore. Now I f—”

The perfect quiet was interrupted by three powerful booms far away.

Some part of Alphys knew even before she thought to be afraid. She didn’t speak—she didn’t do anything but freeze up, her arms going limp. She saw Toriel sit up slowly, and as the distant pounding repeated four more times, Alphys saw horror spread over Toriel’s face.

“Oh my god,” Alphys whispered. She recognized the direction the sound was coming from and did a mental calculation. “Is it…”

Toriel faced her and whispered urgently. “Someone is pounding on the door.”

“The—the d—the door to the Ruins?”

Now Toriel rose from bed and put her feet on the floor. “Yes.”

The pounding came again, five times now. There was a cracking, then silence.

Alphys trembled. “She’s come for me. She’s finally come for me! Oh no. Oh no, no, no! I was so happy here. We can’t let her take me. We can’t!” She jumped out of bed and pulled on a nightshirt.

“someone wanna get that?” came Sans’s muffled voice from the next room.

Toriel slammed open the bedroom door—she  _never_ slammed doors—and paused to listen. Sans emerged from his own room. The three of them stood there helpless in the hallway while the pounding resumed, together with the occasional splintering of wood.

“Wh-wh-wh-wh-what do we do?” pled Alphys. Get a weapon? Hide? Ideas flitted through her brain, but she couldn’t latch onto any of them; none paused long enough for her to judge if they made sense. She needed someone to tell her this would be okay!

Toriel set her jaw firmly. “We will answer the door,” she said.

“you sure that’s a good idea, tori?” asked Sans.

“If we do not answer it, it will be smashed in eventually, and we will not be there to meet our visitor. We _must_ answer the door.”

Yet still they stood doing nothing. Only when the pounding resumed, louder than before, did Toriel finally move. She was in her nightgown, and though she walked with sure steps, Alphys could see her shaking, could see that she was afraid. Alphys was afraid, too. She wondered if she should go run for… for some kind of weapon? But she hadn’t built any! There hadn’t been any need for them, and even though in some part of her mind she’d seen this day coming, she’d never been able to bring herself to prepare for it. Now she really, really wished she had. Toriel was going down the stairs now, and Alphys was following.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

No. Just, no. No. No, not this.  _Please go away,_ Alphys thought desperately.  _Just go._

They turned the corner. They opened the inner door and felt the wind.

In the distance, the outer door was being smashed, chunk by chunk. As they approached, a shard of painted wood clattered on the floor. Undyne’s face was visible through the growing hole. Angry. Determined. Destruction was in her face.

She punched loose another piece of wood, then stood back and saw them. Her eye went wide and her ears fanned.

“Alphy….”

Alphys hung back, but she couldn’t hang back, because Toriel was still advancing. “Undyne. Why are you—what are you doing here?” she blurted.

The blue scaled head slowly shook, side to side. “It’s really you. I knew you were here, but… I still can’t quite believe it. You’re really still alive.”

Alphys stopped again, then saw Toriel still advancing and rushed to keep up. “I really am,” she answered.

“Why are you out here, Alphy? Are you hiding from me? Come back home!”

The memory of a trio of Memoryheads saying “ **#Come join us#** ” flashed before Alphys. Just as then, she knew deep in her core that she couldn’t do it. It might be the sensible thing to do, but… “I can’t.”

For the first time, Undyne looked at Toriel. “What have you done to her,” she said flatly.

“I? I have done nothing but care for Alphys. Would you like to come in, Empress Undyne? You have beaten a hole in my front door, and the wind is blowing.”

Undyne looked back to Alphys. “Why won’t you come!?” Pain was evident in her voice.

How could she respond? “This is… this is home for me now,” she said.

“I miss you, Alphys! I’ll give you your job back. I’ll let you advise me, even. I don’t need Mettaton if I have you. I’ll forgive you for everything, just… _come back!_ ”

It seemed like a reasonable plea, but at this moment, nothing terrified Alphys more. “No! No, I can’t.”

“Are you afraid of me? You don’t need to be afraid of me. Whatever she’s told you, whatever she’s done… I can make it better again! No one’s going to yell at you for the Amalgamates—they’d have to answer to me!”

“Go away, Undyne. P-please! I _am_ afraid of you. Please go away!”

Undyne smashed a slat loose from the disintegrating door. “What has she  _done_ to you?!”

“I have only loved her,” said Toriel.

Alphys stood at the door, mere yards from Undyne. She felt Toriel’s hand settle firmly on her shoulder.

Undyne scowled at the two of them. “…Loved you?”

Now Alphys gathered all the courage she knew how to command. She slipped her hand into Toriel’s and closed her fingers tightly, saying nothing.

Undyne looked at them standing there together.

Her eye went red. “Oh, no. No. You have  _got_ to be kidding me.”

Behind her blew a terrible snowy wind.

[****************************************]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I’d been cleverer, I would have arranged to post the chapter with the shrines today, on Memorial Day. It’s even subtitled “Memories.” Oh well! Today, remember the fallen.
> 
> This story’s ship is, so far as I can tell, unique among serious Undertale fanfiction writers. I think it would be fair to call it my OTP. Sure, in canon Alphys has Undyne and Toriel may or may not work things out with Asgore, but you’d think that someone would have written this ship before--or at least that people wouldn’t be so surprised by it--given that it’s actually hinted at in the game! I didn’t mention that until now, though, because I wanted to actually use it in the story! I’m referring to Alphys’s line from this chapter to Frisk, which in the game appears at the beginning of the epilogue: “Why didn’t you tell me the queen was so cute?” So there you are--to some minuscule extent, Alphys/Toriel is canon.
> 
> This chapter, by my word count, is a tiny bit shorter than Scene 16, so that one is still the longest. But it looks like it's finally going to lose that status when Scene 41 comes out next weekend. I'm still writing it, but all indications are that it's going to be even longer, and I can't do much to stop that from happening. The next chapter after that, number 42, will mark the end of the story.


	41. To Do It All Over

 

[+]

**Scene 41: To Do It All Over**

_or_

“Battle Against a True Hero”

_or_

“She’s Playing Fortissimo”

_or_

“SAVE the World”

_or_

“Run!”

_or_

“Undyne”

* * *

  
This corridor had always been stuffy and cut off from the world, a place between places. Now it was chilled by Snowdin’s breeze. Toriel stood with Alphys’s hand on her own, facing down the angry fish warrior who had just discovered that they were in love.

“It was my choice,” said Alphys. “At first, she didn’t want to be my girlfriend. She made me work for it.”

Behind the hole in the door—this sturdy, ancient door which had stood for thousands of years, and only now was yielding to a terrible force—the piscine face was exploring new reaches of anger. The eye’s color changed. The corners of the mouth continued to expand. She was on a journey of disbelief.

Toriel strove to master her fear. “That is true,” she confirmed. “I was reluctant to open my heart completely, for fear of what would escape.”

She could feel her heart beating now. Four thousand, nine hundred twenty-eight years. One hundred thirty billion heartbeats.

“But nothing escaped, did it?” asked Alphys, who clutched her wrist fervidly beneath the nightgown’s sleeve, as if she would do anything but let go. “You’re still everything you ever were. You still have Asgore inside you. You’re whole, and you haven’t disappointed anyone.”

Toriel had wondered aloud, the day before, whether her parents would have been disappointed to see what had become of her. But they had role-played, as Alphys so often encouraged them to do, and decided that they would have been happy to see that she was with Alphys now. It was the result they had both desired, of course, but it felt so very right.

“ _Why did you do this, Alphys?_ ” asked the increasingly unhinged warrior. Another piece of fortified ironwood was splintered away. Black armor became visible.

“ _That’s_ what you ask?!” shouted Alphys. “You don’t—you don’t want to know why I almost chose to end it all? I was on the edge, Undyne! I was on the very brink!”

“But you faked it!” retorted Undyne.

“ _I almost did it!_ I would have jumped if I hadn’t found a shred of love at the end… but I _did_ , so I came here instead, and found a new life—she _saved_ me!” Alphys jabbed her thumb too hard into Toriel’s chest, making her heart skip. “She saved me when I was ninety percent frozen, and treated me with more care than anyone _ever_ did _,_ and gave me a new life. She made me feel like I’d been hatched again!”

“She took advantage of you,” growled Undyne.

“ _No!_ She didn’t! She was tender to me, and made me feel like I could accomplish things again! No… better than that. She made me feel like I was _worth_ something again. I hadn’t felt that way in so long, Undyne. Since before we met. Not since I was tiny, and I didn’t know yet how crushing everything was going to be, and I still thought… I still thought life could be something great. And it can be, Undyne! It can be!” Her voice was strained, as if she would cry tears if there were only time.

Undyne kicked the door. A crossbeam came loose. “You’ve got that right. It _can_ be great again. But I need you for that. I can’t have you here. I can’t have _her_ here.”

A hundred thirty billion heartbeats. Toriel had calculated that once. But every heart beats its last in time.

“This is my home now!” shouted Alphys. “Don’t you get it? I’m not leaving. You can have the kingdom, but just leave us alone!”

“I can’t,” yelled Undyne. “Without you, _I’m_ alone. I can’t do this alone.”

“You—you have Mettaton, don’t you?”

Another kick shook the door’s heart. “I can’t stand Mettaton! I’m so sick of him!”

“Well you can’t have me! I won’t leave!”

The yellow eye focused its wrath on Alphys. “ _How could you fall in love with her??_ You were supposed to be smarter than that!”

She squeezed Toriel’s hand harder. “How? She gave me hope again! And since I had hope… well, I dared to dream! I realized that I was living with the most am-m-mazing woman in the world… and life is full of strange ideas, so…” For a moment she glanced at Toriel’s face. “…so why not shoot for the stars? I knew Tori was way out of my league, but some silly brave part of me said… g-give it a try! So I courted her… and I won her, Undyne! It took me a _year_ , but in the end, I won her, and now we love each other!”

Part of Toriel wanted to refute the idea that she was out of Alphys’s league, or that love adhered to leagues in the first place. And part of her chafed at the implication that she was a prize hard-won, however noble Alphys’s intentions. But the greater part of her remained still, holding Alphys with one arm, and was all too conscious of her own heartbeat.

An eighth of a trillion heartbeats. To the best of her knowledge, Toriel was the single oldest person in the world. Gerson was closest, and he was a decade her junior. She had lived longer than anyone still living, and that would never cease to be the case, so long as she lived. No one would ever catch up. She would never _not_ be the oldest.

Undyne grasped the bottom of the gash in the door with both armored fists. She rocked the wood back and forth with her whole weight and then some. A large chunk following the ancient fibers splintered away, extending to the door’s foot.

“She’s tricked you, Alphys. Can’t you see that? She’s forced you to live in her tiny little realm and fed you her facts, and made it so you had no _choice_ but to love her! But you don’t really! Not deep down! She’s trapped you here, and _fooled_ you, and _used_ you!”

“No!” cried Alphys. Her tail rose and pressed against Toriel’s gown. “She didn’t! She never did any of that. She only welcomed me!” She was sobbing out her words now, even while she screamed them.

A glowing blue spear soared through the hole and struck Toriel before she knew to react. She staggered back, stunned by the impact even while she was still wondering whether and how to dodge. “ _Noo!_ ” Alphys wailed.

This was the sturdiest door in Toriel’s realm. Asgore had gone to a cabal of Heartwoulds in the snow forest several centuries into his reign in New Home and commissioned their best carpenter to build it. She had no stronger barrier, except…

Still reeling from the spear’s impact, Toriel found herself facing up the hallway. Stone—that was her final defense. That was the answer. She would run up the hallway, pour fire into the buttresses and rafters, and bring down the tunnel. Today, she would finally do as she had dreamed a hundred times of doing, and seal the Ruins off forever. She and Alphys would never again know the outside, but at least they would be free.

But three unsteady steps later, an image crashed into her head. A pile of purple rubble. Atop it swarmed a ghastly army of monsters. At the pinnacle of the heap, Undyne stood, commanding them to sift, dig, bore through, and report any unexpected motions to her. Toriel spun about. She could not destroy the exit. Undyne would simply bring the army to dig them out.

“Do you love me?” Alphys was imploring the empress. “If you love me, please leave! Please just let us be!!”

“I. Can’t. Do you understand me? I can’t go back. This is my only option. I _need_ you.”

“You can’t have me!” squealed Alphys.

Undyne clenched her teeth in concentration. A massive wave of spears pummeled the door’s lock. It deformed, then fell to the floor with a metal clang. Heaving visibly even within her black armor, the empress gently pushed the door open with her shoulder. With no lock to hold it, it swung open and cracked against the wall. The sound of wind became stronger, and the passage grew chillier.

This might be it. Forty-nine hundred twenty-eight years, a kingdom of subjects, nine children, three homes and exactly two lovers, and this might be the end. There might be no more than a thousand heartbeats left.

“This isn’t a choice you can make, Alphys,” growled Undyne. “I’m going to save you, like it or not. You’ll _thank_ me for this someday. And I’m not going to let her come back and make trouble again.”

Pieces of Toriel’s life sped before her eyes. She thought of fires she had known. Peaceful fires. Soothing ones—in fireplaces, in campsites, on the tips of candles or incense in intimate chambers. Fires on the fuses of fireworks to entertain monsters, in ovens baking pies, in strange musical instruments and behind the screens of shadow puppet performances. She could not, try though she might, remember a single angry fire.

“What are you going to _do?!_ ” pled Alphys.

“I’m going to kill her,” said Undyne.

So this _was_ the end.

“I have done nothing to you,” said Toriel, ending her silence. “You raised the citizens against me and overthrew my rightful rule. You pushed me to the ground and hurled me physically from my own castle. You insulted me and demeaned me. I left in peace. I did nothing to you. Nothing.” Her voice could hardly speak—it was as cracked as her senses. It occurred to her that by saying this, she might well be doing a foolish thing. She had no idea anymore.

Undyne stared and hesitated a moment. Then she pointed toward Alphys. “You did everything to me.”

Toriel swallowed and shook her head. Undyne drew another spear out of nothingness. Toriel prepared to dodge, but she knew she—

 _Thunk._ The spear flew so quickly Toriel had barely been able to sense it. But its impact was strangely soft—it barely moved her. Were her nerves already too frayed to keep up with what was done to her, she wondered? But in the split second after, she felt Alphys against her body, and saw the spear’s shards dissipating from her stomach. Alphys had taken the blow. She leant against Toriel with her jaw slack and glasses askew, unable to support her weight. But Toriel was seized with focus. She drew up to her full height and, with her hands firmly on Alphys’s shoulders, drew her up as well. She remembered who she was. And she remembered her angry fires.

“Alphys,” murmured Undyne. She stood straight, her legs flush, in the middle of the corridor. Her ponytail blew in the breeze; it was the only part of her that moved.

The poor lizard just struggled to return her gaze.

“This doesn’t have to happen,” said Undyne. “I don’t _have_ to kill her.”

“What do you mean,” said Alphys.

“I came here thinking that I’d offer to let her live if you came with me. But then I remembered something Mettaton said, and I realized that was stupid. If you came with me just to keep her alive, who’s to say you wouldn’t betray me? You could make a machine to attack me, or just slip away when I wasn’t looking and find some all- _new_ place to hide. Heck, you could even go wherever Gaster went and try to find him. I’m no genius like you, Alphys. I couldn’t keep you with me if you didn’t want to stay.”

“Y-y-you’re probably right,” said Alphys.

“So then I decided. I’ll spare her—” She pointed a spear at Toriel. “— _if_ you promise to come back with me and stay, _and_ you convince me that you really mean it!”

Alphys quivered; Toriel could feel it through her silken nightgown. “And I—and you’d never let me come back?”

Undyne shrugged. “I’m a nice girl. I can be reasoned with. Maybe you’d get a visit once or twice a year. For old times’ sake.”

In horror, Alphys looked up and back at Toriel. Was she seeking advice? What could Toriel say? If her life were being ransomed against a greater good, she would urge Alphys to refuse temptation. Yet what was the greater good here? For Toriel to live, and Alphys to lie, and dwell with Undyne unhappily?

But Alphys did not need any advice. She turned back to Undyne, acquiring an expression Toriel had never seen on her before. And she raised her arms, covering as much of Toriel’s body as possible.

Toriel gulped. Her diminutive girlfriend was protecting her. She crouched, that she might occupy as little space as possible, and wondered where this could possibly lead.

Another spear flew. Again, Alphys leaned into its path, taking the brunt of it. She cried out in pain, then heaved a moment before recovering her stance. She was crouched defensively, ready to spring. Ready for combat in a unique way—she would not attack, but rather take any attack onto herself. Toriel did not know whether she was terrified or moved beyond recognition. But she saw that Undyne also grasped the situation. The fish warrior’s fierce scowl fell away, leaving perplexity.

“Don’t make me hurt you, Alphys. Please.”

“You’ll have to come through me.” Alphys trembled, but she did not stammer. “If you want to kill Toriel, you’ll have to do it over my dust.”

“No! How can you _do_ this?!” Undyne released a yellow spear; it approached to within inches of Alphys, then suddenly sailed overhead and attacked Toriel from behind. But a shield of magical energy blocked it with a tink—Undyne had entered combat mode, and it appeared that her natural bullet pattern was fair-minded, in that it gave its victim a shield to defend themselves with. If they were fast enough.

“I used to like you so much!” moaned Alphys. “But you’re—you’re deranged now, Undyne! You’ve lost your mind!”

“Do you know what it’s been like? Trying to run this kingdom?” The warrior staggered forward, one ponderous step at a time, and sent spears at Toriel from left and right; Alphys blocked them each in turn. “It’s like being assaulted with idiocy! All day of every day! Some creep complains about how a key he bought from some back-alley tramps is defective, because he thought it would open some random mysterious door—it turns out it was just a house key Mettaton lost years ago! The kids petition for school to be open more days, so it can be canceled more often… I get a request for a rock band to play the local aquarium, only to find out they want to be exhibits _in_ the aquarium…” Another spear was blocked from behind. “I never realized it before, but _monsters are idiots!_ ”

Toriel could not let that go. “That is _not_ true,” she reprimanded. “Most monsters constrain themselves to the use of faculties they possess. We are each capable of different things, but by and large, we know our own limits! If you are—” She was interrupted by another barrage of spears, each blocked by a panting Alphys. “…If you are confronted by foolish monsters, that is only because their foolishness has led them to your doorstep—or perhaps your policies have flung them out of their depth. Do _not_ judge the kingdom by the subjects who petition you alone!”

Undyne dropped her arms and smiled wickedly. “You see? She actually _knows_ how to govern. “I’m the one who’s out of my depth. I used to be _good_ at what I did! I was the best, in fact. Do you know what it’s like going from being the best to being terrible?”

“Not exactly,” said Alphys, “but—”

“IT SUCKS!! If I’m deranged, it’s because of you! I need you, Alphy! Come back!!”

Toriel did not know why Alphys controlled the energy shield, given that Undyne was attacking Toriel. Perhaps she had simply… willed herself to be the defender. Alphys did possess determination, after all, and now it appeared she was finally showing it. She deflected three more spears, including another of the jumping kind, and then replied: “You can’t do this, Undyne. You just can’t! Undyne, do you remember Shinji from Bluestar Void Zero?”

She grinned. “Yeah! I do! I liked him. He was scary!”

“D-do you remember how he reacted when Gengyo killed Aya Miyashita? How he swore to hunt him down with the conviction of a thousand black suns?”

This was met by a double take. “I remember we had a laugh about what in the world that meant.”

“It was poorly subtitled! But I understand now. If you k—if you kill Toriel—” She stamped a yellow foot hard, her nightshirt billowing. “I can’t even imagine that. It’s not possible. Any more than a black sun! But if it happens, I won’t… I won’t hunt you down. I’ll probably hate you with the conviction of a _million_ black suns, but I won’t hunt you, Undyne. I’ll just let you live with yourself. And I will never show you a _shred_ of love!!”

Undyne straightened slowly, examining the hallway. The energy shield vanished; she had exited combat mode. “You’re not even going to _offer_ to come with me?”

Alphys looked lost for a moment. So did Undyne, for that matter. All of them were lost, and the wind was still blowing through the broken doorway.

“We… we should have been more open with each other, shouldn’t we?” said Alphys. She lowered her arms, but her head stayed high, as if her spikes were staking out a position.

Undyne frowned. “You mean about… how we felt?”

“Yes! I should have told you I was writing a forty-two part shipfic about how you and I found a way to escape to the surface and visited all the great human countries, disguising ourselves as humans except with the ones we learned to trust…”

The yellow eye went wide. “You were?!”

Alphys clasped her hands together. “And _you_ should have told me that you liked me! That you—that you had a thing for me! Because I didn’t know, Undyne! I was all worked up over does she like me or doesn’t she, and some days I was sure we’d end up together and have little green babies, and some nights I thought there was n-no way you could care about me _anything_ like I cared about you, and I was just floating in an ocean of self-deception! But you did like me the whole time, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t know what _you_ wanted!” Undyne took a heavy step forward. “You were so into comics and games and shows and history and all these _hobbies_ —I was worried if I started talking romance, you might bolt! For all I knew, this was all kid stuff to you and I was just your playpal!”

“But you could have said something!”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t invite me over anymore! _You_ could have said something!”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t like me anymore!”

They stood glaring at each other. Toriel placed her hands gently on Alphys’s shoulders, daring to hope. Was she looking at two women who would have been perfect for one another, or terrible?

“The army is coming,” said Undyne. She pointed offhandedly at Toriel. “They have orders to kill her if I don’t say otherwise.”

“Wh-when are they getting here?”

Undyne shrugged. “Maybe noon. They’ll march if I’m not back by morning.”

Alphys took a deep breath. “I can’t—I can’t love you anymore, Undyne. Not after this. I did love you, I did, even if it was just a huge crush, but…” She heaved. “It’s too late. I wouldn’t know how to love you even if I tried.”

“Let’s get you away from her. Let’s get you cleaned up and someplace decent. Maybe you’ll work it out when you’re feeling better.”

“You don’t think I’m clean?” objected Alphys.

“You’re in a nightshirt!”

“That’s because you attacked us in the middle of the night!!”

“I just can’t believe this is real, Alphys. I can’t believe this is really how you feel. Look at it from my side—she’s been working her wiles on you for a year and you’re under her thumb now! How can I trust anything you say?”

“I assure you I have no wiles to work,” interjected Toriel.

Undyne reflexively hurled a spear at her. Toriel dodged this time, but Alphys leapt into its path anyway. Her jaw was torn. She landed with renewed resolve.

“Don’t make me kill you,” said Undyne wearily.

“Don’t kill me,” said Alphys.

There was a weighty pause. Toriel thought of how her conversations with Asgore had gone after the death of their children. They had been just as fruitless as this, and just as tense. Then, too, lives had hung in the balance, though not so immediately as they did now.

Suddenly Undyne rushed forward. Toriel tensed and prepared herself. The fish warrior seized Alphys in her arms and pulled her away; Toriel shot bead after bead of flame into her with both hands. Undyne cried out and hunched and staggered; Toriel did not stop. A magical spear smashed into her side, but though she staggered back, Toriel kept shooting. She conjured a giant hand of flame from the tunnel wall and whipped it into Undyne. This allowed Alphys to break free and rush back to Toriel. She was in time to catch the next spear. Her nightshirt was torn now, her chest deformed with damage. She raised her arms. Again, Toriel crouched and tried not to think of her beating heart.

How many more spears did Alphys have the fortitude to take? Ten? Eight? She was losing some of her cohesion already, but was no less lovely to look at because Toriel knew exactly why she was doing it.

“Ngaaaah!” roared Undyne. “What gives, goat lady? I thought you were a pacifist!”

“Then you have misjudged me,” said Toriel, speaking clearly. “When we clashed before, you were attacking only my right to rule the kingdom. It would not have been right for me to fight back, for personal power must never be defended with force. If it had been right for me to remain queen, I knew the people would have protected me. But here! Here, you are threatening my life, and the joy of my lover. I will _not_ let you simply take that away.”

“And she’s not a goat!” added Alphys.

“And I am not a goat,” continued Toriel. “I am a boss monster.”

Undyne recovered from being singed, smoke rising from where tiny chunks of magic had been burned away. She sized up the situation. “Right. So I can’t bumrush you,” she said, addressing Alphys. “You know the only reason I’m not jumping all around and hurling spears at your giant pillow toy is ‘cause we’re in a confined space. If we were in the open, she’d be dead already.”

“Then we’re staying here,” snipped Alphys.

“But time isn’t on your side! You realize that, don’t you? Maybe I’ll just start… destroying this corridor!” She hurled a battery of three spears together into the ceiling, rattling it. Chips of stone fell and settled, raising dust. “If walls are in my way, I _kill_ the walls, then I kill whoever they were keeping me from killing!”

“Then you’ll kill me, too,” Alphys pointed out.

Undyne grimaced. “ _Put on a helmet or something!_ ”

“ _No!_ ” yelled Alphys.

Undyne switched back into combat mode. She conjured a lengthy barrage of spears from all four directions, some of which were deceptive yellow jumpers. Toriel cringed, fearing pain and incapacitation, but Alphys darted her head left and right, eyes wide and perceptive, and swung her newly formed energy shield with astonishing swiftness. Toriel heard more than a dozen -tinks- from various directions, and every spear fell harmlessly.

“Dammit, Undyne!” screamed Alphys.

“Dammit yourself! _How are you so good at blocking my spears?!_ ”

“ _Video game reflexes!_ ” Alphys retorted. “I told you your combat mode was a lot like a video game!”

The black helmet clinked up. “Are you going to make me use the army to get this done?”

“Wh-why shouldn’t I? You seem like to having one so much.”

“But everything feels better when you can do it yourself.”

“Do you think I care about things feeling better for you?!” yelled Alphys. “You’re about to destroy the greatest thing in my life—in the whole Underground! You’re about to ruin _everything!_ I don’t care about how you feel!”

“And that’s how I know you aren’t yourself,” growled Undyne. She charged forward, this time with her head protected. Toriel again discharged columns of fireballs into her, but they seemed to do little damage, and this time Undyne dodged past Alphys and up the corridor. She spun and conjured several spears, hurling them all. Alphys shrieked and shifted around, managing to take all but two of them in the chest and belly. Toriel was struck on the neck and felt her throat closing. Even while Undyne readied another barrage, Toriel crouched behind Alphys and choked against the blockage to find breath. There it was. She wanted to cry. Alphys was ragged and full of blurry wounds where her magic failed to cohere. She was starting to wobble.

“Well?” she yelled. “Are you willing to kill me just to prove how much you love me?”

* * *

  
She wasn’t. Of _course_ she wasn’t. It was terrible enough she was willing to _risk_ it. But this wasn’t about proof. No one needed to have anything proven. This was about making things right. About saving Alphys from the crappy situation Undyne had, through careless, stupid neglect, allowed her to fall into. And she couldn’t give up. Giving up wasn’t on the menu. There wasn’t a future that way. So she had to keep trying, even though this terrible wrinkle had cropped up and Alphys was _killing herself more_ with every move that Undyne made.

This was torture. She tried not to look at those broken glasses. She tried to tell herself the blurriness in Alphys’s form was just because she wasn’t focusing straight. But Undyne hadn’t seen true blurriness in nine years, since she’d lost her eye in the escapade that’d let her make captain younger than anyone in a century. Now she had no more eyes than she had minds. She saw straight and she did what she had to do, because it was the only thing she could do.

She threw out her arms and scattered doom discs toward the demon queen, hoping one would come up under her feet. One did, but damn it, the queen was shrewd enough to step away before the spears came up. She was terrified and flinched back, but kept her senses enough to duck when Undyne aimed a spear toward her. Despite her injuries, Alphys was still playing shield like some kind of deluded hero, and Undyne didn’t dare fire off another volley.

Faster, then. She revved up her internal engine, picturing spears popping up faster and faster, forcing herself further and further into madness, and then scattered another batch of doom discs. Light blue circles appeared to all sides of the filthy goat queen, but none of them happened to appear beneath her this time. That was fine—just wait. Chance would see this through. Eventually you’ll find yourself standing on sheer danger, queenie, and you’ll take a hit, and then another, and bit by bit Undyne would wear her down.

The spears thrust upward, much faster now. Another batch of circles appeared, this time with one under the queen. Was she quick enough to dodge this? At her size, Undyne doubted it. HA! It hit her! She was shaken! And Alphys shrieked and… ran over to a light blue circle… and stood on it.

SCHRRICKK! The spear cut Alphys, splitting and reforming her leg at the point of impact, and undulating her body with the shock. “What the hell!!” Undyne cried aloud. She threw her arms past each other in a desperate gesture of cancellation and cut the onslaught off. God. No. Alphys was falling apart. Scales were dangling. Her whole snout was sagging _bad._ One arm was stretched out like a badly rolled noodle. She was losing her balance—at last, good, now maybe Undyne could shoot at her real target without her leaping in the way. She hadn’t wanted to damage Alphys until she wasn’t able to play this gambit anymore, but at least it had been a tactic in reserve. Sometimes you have to knock someone senseless before you can help them. But Undyne was terrified to fire at Toriel nonetheless, just in case Alphys turned out to have one more good jump in her. Because it was obvious, looking at her, that so much as one more hit would turn her to dust.

“Hold me,” whimpered Alphys. It hurt that she wasn’t talking to Undyne—she was talking to the demon queen who’d brought her to this point. “H-h-h-hold me in f-front of you. If she sh-sh-shoots… use me to block.”

Senseless. Madness. Undyne was horrified by the request, and she was even more horrified when, with only a second’s hesitation, the big white monster reached out her arms and obeyed. The queen was squatting in the hallway now, holding up what was left of Alphys like a shield. Her expression was… intense. Calm. Horrifyingly even. The obscenity of the situation whacked Undyne like a bat to the gut, and she wanted to vomit.

“Are you—is this _serious?!_ You’re using her as a shield?! You realize that one more spear’ll kill her, right?”

“I am glad that you realize it as well,” said the woolly abomination.

“How can—you claim to love her, right? This is _unconscionable!_ You’re six times her weight, she doesn’t know any fighting magic, she’s unarmed and on the brink of death, and you’re using her as a s _hield!_ How can you claim to love her and still do this?!?”

“It is what she wants,” said the demon queen.

“You’re full of pockey! You’re a coward! You’re a blasted black-star weedling rothearted coward! No real lover would _ever_ do something like that to the one they love! You must have no soul at all!”

The expression on that face just got steelier, more resolute. “There was a time when I would have agreed with you. But I am old, and sometimes I surprise myself by skipping past sentiment and simply doing what must be done.”

How could Alphys have fallen for this? This so-called queen was so clearly an abomination—worse than humans—pure evil. Undyne wanted to cry for how terrible this tableau was. And the worst of it was that she was helpless. Unlike this immoral creature, Undyne actually had a heart—she was capable of feeling love, and she didn’t dare fire another shot. She hadn’t imagined an evil this profound when she’d marched here. Try as she might, she couldn’t think of a single way she could attack the goat queen without putting Alphys at a _major_ risk of death. And she simply wasn’t willing to accept that.

“You filthy puking wormgutted soulless scumbag!!” she screeched. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so impotent.

“I think the word you are looking for is ‘monster’,” said the boss monster. “It is what the humans thought of us, long ago.”

Undyne shut her eyes. She was so angry it was a flavor—it burned through her eyelids and into her brain, and it made her see nothing but crimson even with her eyes closed. It seeped through her every bone. It surrounded her. It enveloped her. It tempered itself into the purest determination she’d ever felt. She _would_ make this right. One way or another, there _must_ be a way to make this right, and through sheer determination, she would _find_ it. It was just that simple.  


***FILE 1 SAVED*  
**   


What the hell was that!?

It had been like a voice in her head, but without any sound. Like something clicking into place. File One? What the hell was File One? Was Undyne _really_ going batshit? Was it some kind of magic she’d never heard of?

The filthy so-called queen was doing nothing. Just crouching lower and holding Alphys all too tight. At this rate, those oversized arms could crush her to dust by accident. But it was all too clear she had nothing up her sleeves. This duo had nothing to fall back on, and Undyne’s army was coming. One way or another, she _would_ win this.

“Don’t move,” she ordered. Then she turned and ran up the corridor. Food. Healing items. There must be something to fortify Alphys with so she wouldn’t just collapse into pieces. She dashed up the stairs, making sure there were no side exits the two could escape through, and found herself in a pathetic little cottage. Well, it was actually a little bigger than her own old house, but still. _Cottage._ For an ex-queen, pathetic. She found the kitchen easily enough and rummaged through it. Snails. Was that what passed for food around here? Roots. Bread. Mushrooms. Moss. Alphys was eating like crap, clearly, and Undyne yearned to bring her back to civilization and pamper her. But for now, this would have to do. She dashed down the stairs again, ready to chase them out into the snow if they’d dared to flee that way, but no, they were right where she’d left them, huddled and murmuring. The look Alphys gave the scumbag queen was so much like real love, it infuriated Undyne.

She switched into combat mode and tried pilling a few spears into Toriel from behind, but blast it, Alphys was still alert enough to block all but one. So she dropped combat mode and advanced. By her reckoning, the queen was at sixty percent health, Alphys was at maybe five percent, and Undyne herself was still close to full. This would be _such_ an easy battle if Alphys hadn’t found a way to weaponize suicide, damn it.

“Just leave,” uttered the goat queen.

“You swamp-sucking leech. Why don’t _you_ leave? Here, Alphys, have some food.”

Undyne tossed a slice of bread, the closest thing to real food she’d found in that kitchen, to Alphys. Once the girl was up to thirty percent health or so, Undyne would feel safe trying another charge, and maybe she could rip her away.

But Alphys ducked to the side, fearing the bread, and _Toriel caught it._ She stuffed the slice into her mouth and soon shone a little brighter. “GODDAMMIT!” Undyne shouted. “THAT WAS FOR YOU, ALPHYS!”

“Didn’t want it,” said Alphys, her voice slurred.

Undyne tried to comprehend what she was thinking. Alphys would take any damage thrown her way, give the goat queen any healing. What could she do? Hope Alphys was bluffing and wouldn’t actually let herself die? Try a tricky maneuver against the queen and hope to get lucky? Force-feed her?! There was too much risk. With her lover barely hanging on, anything would carry too much risk. So should she wait for the army to arrive? What would she have them do? She tried to imagine giving patient, slow instructions to the army—block off both exits, chip away some stone there, blast a new tunnel there, but make sure they can’t get in your way—and despaired. There was too much that could go wrong. Too many imbeciles even in her own army. Too many chances for something unexpected to happen and Alphys to die in the confusion. So then what? Should Undyne just throw food at them until Alphys couldn’t help but eat some? She’d never heard of anyone dying from being buried in food, but she wouldn’t be surprised if it could happen. Besides, she didn’t have that much. Pockey. Maybe she should leave, make them think she was gone, then come back again once Alphys was healed? Would that work? She hated the idea of retreat, but if it was her only—

“Psst. Hey.”

A tiny voice. Not the same as the one in her head—this was a real voice, talking just above a whisper, coming from just behind her feet. Undyne leapt aside and spun around, only to find nothing there—just the purple floor. This was bad. Either someone was seriously plucking her strings, or she was losing it. She couldn’t afford to lose it, not now. Not with something as precious as Alphys in the hands of pure evil, one hit from death. _Pull yourself together, Undyne!_ She ordered her entire mind to come together and focus—no stray bits to make trouble. A few deep breaths, and she was calm—her mind was sound. She wasn’t going even _slightly_ crazy. She could tell.

“You want to watch those clompers of yours?” said the voice, back again. “Some of us are made of fucking cellulose. Actually, you know what? I’ll come in from the top.”

Undyne spun around in time to see a—that couldn’t be right, could it? A little flower, zipping into the ground? As if _it_ had talked to her? What was happening? Was she already so insane she couldn’t tell it apart from sanity?

“Fish breath. Up here.” The same flower—it _was_ a flower, green-stemmed, golden-petaled, with a _face_ , for god’s sake—spoke to her from the upper wall, just past the bend in the corridor and quietly enough the others couldn’t hear. “Ugh. Could you catch your balance already? You look like you could faceplant the floor at any second.”

She already hadn’t known what to do, and this just added an extra layer of having no idea. “What are you—flowers can’t talk!” she blustered. She’d said as much to Papyrus several times—whenever he started feeding her crap about his secret best friend who happened to… be a golden flower. Shit.

“Very astute observation! I guess I’m not actually here, then? WAKE THE FUCK UP. You’re trying to kill the old lady, aren’t you?”

She gritted her teeth. Seemed like Toriel still didn’t hear them—served her right for using her ears as a fashion accessory. “I’m trying to serve justice!” she whisper-shouted.

The flower smiled wickedly. “But you don’t want the lizard to die, is that it? Is that what you’re worried about?”

Was this flower a threat to Alphys? She wouldn’t hesitate to kill it if it was. “Yeah. That’s the only thing holding me back.”

The grin became smug. “You lovable idiot. Didn’t you even _feel_ yourself save a file a few minutes back? I could feel it from a mile away, and I’m not even you!”

Okay. So that had been something real, and it was something others could feel. Somehow. “How the hell do you know about that?”

“I have my ways. Let’s just put it this way—you can’t bang your face tens of thousands of times against something and then not recognize it when someone puts it in front of you.”

“ _I don’t even know what it means!_ ”

“Well that’s obvious. Not exactly the brightest guard in the garden, are you? Damn it, I made a pun. I HATE puns. Never mind, I know you’re an idiot. We’ve met hundreds of times.”

Undyne would not have forgotten meeting someone like this. “Like bull we have!”

“Look. You’re the most determined being in the Underground. That’s been true ever since the human came through and killed your boss—you just didn’t realize it. But I did. You know how?” The face went angry, into the sort of face a flower should never have. “Because it used to be _me,_ ” it rumbled. “But the human souls _stole_ my DT.” The face went cheerful again, too cheerful. “Not that I can blame them! Technically, it was theirs to begin with. But for over a _year_ , I was too weak to so much as pop my head through the floor. You know what sucks worse than being a flower? _Being a flower that can’t move._ ”

“Most flowers can’t move,” said Undyne, trying to take all this in. Was it true?

“Yeah, but being able to move is the kind of thing you can’t forget. Imagine all your muscles are twitching and you want to move, but you know if you do, you’ll get weaker, not stronger. The only way to get stronger is ignore everything your instincts are telling you and stay perfectly still. You think you could do that for a minute? Maybe five minutes?” The face went terrifying again. “ _Try doing it for eleven months._ ”

“I don’t need to imagine,” spat Undyne. She glanced at Alphys and the queen down the hall—they were watching, but couldn’t hear her or see the flower from their angle. “I feel like that right now.”

Cheerful face. “Oh, you do, huh?”

She trembled. It was scary how much she trembled. “Every instinct in me is telling me to kill that depraved boss monster. She deserves to die. She _has_ to die. Her existence is an insult against the world! But I can’t act on it, or Alphys’d throw herself in between!”

“Got it.” The flower winked, childlike in its cuteness. “You know what you should do?”

She was ready to take advice, especially from someone who seemed like he knew more about what was going on than she did. “What?”

He extended his stem a little longer to get closer to her face. “Try anyway.”

She stared. “What?”

“Give it your best shot. If you kill the lizard by mistake?” He winked again. “You can always go back and try again!”

“What the dust are you talking about.”

“That file you saved? That was you _knowing_ you might have to do this over and over. I’ve been there. It’s not fun… well, not like I’d know if it were… but it works. If you mess up, learn from your mistake. Do it again. Find the way through. There’s almost _always_ a way through. You can do pretty much _anything_ so long as you’re willing to live through it enough times to get it right.”

“What are you talking about!? Do it again? Do it again _how?_ ” The figures down the hall raised their heads in surprise—she’d murmured too loudly.

“Reload the SAVE file,” said the flower condescendingly. “Easy peasy. Don’t like the present you’ve made? Reload the past and try again. Go on, try it—I won’t be back for a few minutes, but I’ll know. Better hurry—a couple of idiots with energy blasters are on their way back here to stop you, thanks to that skeleton going for help.”

Oh. She’d wondered where the sentry was. It figured. “How do I reload?” Undyne demanded.

“Think about how you want to go back. Remember the way things were. Remember how they used to be easy, or better, or just _not right here, right now._ It’ll be tough the first time, but you’ll get the hang of it.”

She wanted to ask a bunch more questions, like why he was helping or who the hell he was. But more than that, she needed to know if it was possible. So she concentrated on the moment she’d felt those words in her mind, on the feeling of being willing to do _anything_ it took to rid the world of the goat queen but leave Alphys alive. She closed her eye. She opened it. She felt rage and frustration burning and building, and suddenly she felt as if the world was slipping away, like a bar of soap floating down a river, and her senses were pulled away with it, and suddenly—  


***FILE 1 LOADED*  
**   


The crappy food in her hands was gone. And the flower was gone, too. Her adrenalin surged—had it worked? Was the food gone because she’d gone back to before she’d darted into the house for it? It must be. Somehow, she could feel it—things were the way they’d been a few minutes before.

Fuhuhu—this was amazing! She could really turn back time! She thought of making her move, but decided to try again, just to be on the safe side. Undyne turned around and ran back to the stupid cottage, and this time ran out the front door, through the yard, into the old catacombs. A Loox stepped into her way, and from sheer exuberance and a sense of _nothing matters_ , she kicked it right over a wall. She hadn’t realized how horrible an idea it was until she heard the ‘splat’. But it didn’t matter, did it? She could just go back. Back to how things were a couple minutes ago. When everything hung in the balance, and the peace she needed seemed so close, but so hopelessly far away…  


***FILE 1 LOADED*  
**   


And there they were again! Undyne was back in the hallway, staring down Alphys and Toriel, like nothing had happened. Hot damn. There really were no consequences. She could actually do this.

Undyne let loose a good, old-fashioned battle cry. She sprinted down the hallway, manifesting a spear and aiming for the devil queen’s scalp. Alphys couldn’t shield the entirety of someone this much bigger than her, could she? Toriel, in fear, raised Alphys to block. But then, just as Undyne let the spear fly, the queen dropped her living shield and took it on the forehead with a satisfying burn. Yes!!

“So you were bluffing,” Undyne crowed in triumph.

Toriel spoke with a level of hatred she hadn’t expected to hear, as if her true colors were revealed. “Yes. I was bluffing. But you were willing to kill your precious friend.”

“I knew you were bluffing,” lied Undyne. “Here, have another.” She shot a white longspear straight into Toriel’s face.

Toriel stood up, staggering, and blasted fire over Alphys’s head. Undyne clinked down her visor and rushed the goat. She tackled her over and they rolled in the corridor, bashing into a wall. Undyne grabbed the devil queen by the horns and smashed her head into the floor, two, three, four times. A magical hand swatted her harder into the wall; she ducked, dodging the next one, and kicked to get her traction back so she could smash the queen’s head in some more. But her foot tagged something that wasn’t flat, and she heard a pitiful squeal, and her gaze shot back just in time to see that she’d kicked Alphys on the head by mistake—Alphys had been trying to crawl closer, and now she collapsed to the floor. The impact was enough. Alphys’s distorted, mangled body shook violently for half a second, then crumbled away into dust.

It was so strange to see this and not die inside. But Undyne felt fine.

Toriel wasn’t moving anymore. Just staring. Eyes like teacups, mouth gaping. What a sad fool she was.

“Well? Nothing to say?” Undyne gloated, just for the heck of it.

Toriel turned slowly to focus on Undyne, rather than the pile of dust. “Now you have done it,” she murmured, clearly shocked.

“Yeah. My bad. Silly me. So how do you want to die, _Queen_ Toriel? Should we schedule an official execution, or should I just tear you apart right here on the spot?”

The goat queen blinked. She didn’t seem to be able to wrap her head around what had happened.

Undyne shrugged and shot a barrage into her belly. The goat queen shot barrels of fire back in return. She shouted something as she fought, something about Alphys being a tender person worthy of life, more worthy than either of them. Yeah, like Undyne was gonna disagree with that. She fell back, struck by a column of fire, and decided to get out. Back to how things had been. Back to before her mistake, when Alphys was still alive, when things were still primed to work out. Go back, time. Turn back. Turn BACK!  


***FILE 1 LOADED*  
**   


Hot _dog._

There they were again, just like before. Alphys was messed up but still alive. Neither of them had any idea. This was incredible. Undyne couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so alive.

“How you doin’, Alph?” she shouted cheerfully. They both looked up at her with renewed fear. Was the difference that clear in her face?

“I d-don’t know how much l-l-longer I can hang on,” said Alphys.

“Cool,” said Undyne. “Just do your best, all right?” She charged, switching into combat mode and hurling six spears at Toriel. Two from the left, two from behind, then jumpers from the same two lines, just to throw Alphys off.

Alphys was still alert enough to block them all, but by that time Undyne was upon them, and she leapt and delivered a flying kick to Toriel’s temple. The world’s most satisfying grunt emitted from the demon queen as she fell backward against the floor. Undyne spun and stamped her boot on the queen’s nose. She kicked her head, over and over and over. She felt her smile growing with each kick. “This. Is nothing. More. Than you. Deserve!” she yelled, kicking and stamping and leaping like a girl in a puddle on a rainy day.

Alphys moaned, rolling over and trying to get to her feet. Toriel had dropped her, and it didn’t look like she was going to make it up. But maybe she’d be able to hang together. “Just relax, Alph. We’re good. I’ll get you all patched up soon.”

Toriel managed to get some words out. “I pray that you live to see the full folly of your actions.”

Undyne shot a bundle of spears into her face, wrecking her motherly looks. She kicked and stamped and twisted her boots. She yanked on the long white ear nearest her, hard. Just for the fun of it, she stretched the ear out and shot a spear through it, severing it. Toriel keened loud, but her breath was ragged and she couldn’t keep it up. _Dang_ , this woman had a lot of stamina. Most monsters would die after just a few hits, let alone twenty or thirty direct blows to the head.

It took more like sixty, in the end. Finally, Toriel shuddered and shook in an unnatural way, and a second later she rippled out of existence with a sound like a wave dying away. A strange thing was left in the air, and Undyne stepped back in fear. What the hell was that? Oh—right! Fuhuhu, right! Boss monsters had souls that lasted after death! She’d heard about that! But not for long. Undyne aimed a spear carefully and shot it straight through the gray heart, shattering it. Now _that_ was satisfying.

She turned to Alphys, only to find the lizard watching the fragments of soul disperse. Shaking, Alphys turned one last hateful glance at Undyne, and collapsed. She hit the floor hard, and although Undyne shouted for her to hang on, her body rippled too, then went to dust. _Damn._ Alphys had been right on the edge, and had literally died of heartbreak.

Undyne was tempted to hang around and wait for Sans and his cavalry. Ask them how they were, act like nothing was wrong. Make _them_ say the word dead, not her. Kill them all if they made her do it, or stride on out with a grin if they let her. That seemed like fun, but there was a risk, and this was no joke. This was serious business. If Undyne somehow died, she wouldn’t be able to go back. And she needed this. Better not waste any time. Do it right.  


***FILE 1 LOADED*  
**   


There they were again.

“All right,” said Undyne. “You two stay there.”

She ran back into the house to get bread and snails. When she got back, they hadn’t moved. Like before, she charged, slipping into combat mode and back out again. Alphys blocked the spears like before, and Toriel went sprawling, like before, with a wonderful grunt. Undyne kicked her in the head and gave her face one good stomp. But then she went back to Alphys. “All right, let’s get some food in you.”

Alphys moaned and wriggled pitifully.

A giant white hand smacked Undyne and made her lose her balance. But she got back up and took Alphys gently in her arms. “All right. Eat. You like snails these days?” She stuffed a snail into the lizard’s mouth, then followed it up with a piece of bread. Another giant hand came, but it seemed like Toriel was afraid to strike too close to her so-called lover, making it easy to dodge. “There you go. Chew. Swallow.” Alphys swallowed against her will and started to come together a little. Undyne made her eat another snail, fending off a rain of tiny fireballs as she did, and then got up to thrash Toriel some more.

“I am not your enemy,” the goat queen had the gall to say.

“Shove it. You’re pure evil.” Undyne kicked her in the head. She stomped her neck. She leapt on her belly and smashed spears through her throat. Toriel just writhed after a while, doing her best to hang on.

“How you doing, Alphys?” she repeated tensely, looking back. Alphys was watching in horror, but she was fine. She wasn’t about to fall apart this time. Good. Hell yes.

Toriel tried to croak out some final words, but Undyne kicked her throat and crushed her snout and pierced her flesh until she trembled and rippled to dust, like before. Yes! _Yes!_ She’d done it! She went over to Alphys and sat down to watch the boss monster soul splinter and die with her. It was like watching fireworks.

Alphys hung her head and whimpered. Undyne could feel her sobbing.

“It’s okay, Alph. I know it feels terrible right now, but she was never really your friend, okay? She was tricking you. Making you like her. I’m your friend. I care about you, Alphy! You’re gonna be all right.”

No answer. That was fine, get her cleaned up and she’d be okay. Undyne carried her carefully back into the house.

She laid her on the table and went to get more food and some water. Was there a healing kit in the big bedroom? Yes, there it was. She applied it to Alphys and made her eat. Eventually, the flower’s head poked out from the wall with a big smile.

“You really did it, huh? You killed the old lady.”

Undyne wasn’t comfortable around this flower, but she wasn’t going to let that show. “I sure did! Thanks for the tip. I think things are gonna be okay now.”

“I think you just might be right,” he agreed. “Nice work! You’re gonna want to save again, by the way.”

“Save? What do you mean?”

“You know—create a new save point, just to make sure you don’t lose what you’ve accomplished. A new place to come back to, in case things go wrong.”

Undyne forcefed Alphys until the lizard choked, then withdrew the bread to soak it in water. “Could I still go back to the first point?”

“If you have two fileslots, sure.”

“How can I tell if I have two fileslots?”

“Search me. You probably have plenty. Depends how determined you are, and you’re pretty damn determined, aren’t you?”

She was. She felt it in herself. But she didn’t know for sure if she’d have to go back again, and somehow it made her nervous. “What if something goes wrong that it’s too late to fix? What if I need to go back and interrogate the goat queen?” Or for that matter, what if she just wanted to go back and have the joy of killing her again? “If I only have one fileslot, I don’t wanna screw that up.”

The flower sighed. “Look, you don’t want to go through life without saving. You’ll go half a year and something’ll go wrong, and you’ll realize that if you want to fix it, you’ve got to live through the _whole_ half year again. I’ve done that, and let me tell you—it’s hell. Don’t do that to yourself. Save.”

“Maybe tomorrow,” said Undyne. “For now, I want some answers. Who are you, and how do you know about all this saving stuff?”

The golden petals rustled. “Oop! There’s the cavalry at the door. Heads up, Undyne! I’d better scoot.” The flower disappeared into the wall, just as Undyne heard the sound of footsteps pounding up the stairs.

Great. Suspicious. But what now? What if these guys didn’t care about keeping Alphys alive any more than Toriel did? All the more reason not to save and risk getting into a situation she couldn’t get out of.

They arrived at the doorway. Just two of them—one of them was Gerson, which made Undyne want to laugh, and the other was some heavyset old mouse guy she didn’t recognize. And sure enough, they each had tremendous blasters.

“Undyne! Stay where you are,” yelled Gerson, aiming his weapon. Then he focused on what was behind her. “Sakes alive! Is that really her? You’ve really got the old doctor strung out on the table?”

“That’s her,” said the mouse. “Alphys, do you hear me?”

Undyne was about to reply, but swallowed it when she heard Alphys sit up—the first thing she’d done on her own since the goat queen’s death. “Llewyn?” Alphys croaked. “You’re here?”

“I can’t believe it either. I don’t leave town these days. We thought you were dead! Alphys, girl, I cried for you! I felt useless. Impotent. And here you are—how could you put us through that?”

“She’s recovering,” snapped Undyne. “She’s not well. We need to treat her gently.”

“Not well?” asked Gerson. “What’d you do to her? Or should I take a guess?”

Undyne didn’t want to play guessing games. “I killed the succubus who was controlling her. It wasn’t easy, and Alphys got hurt. But I saved her.”

Gerson cleared his throat, his gun still trained. “Right. We saw that pile of dust on the way in. Succubus, you say? That’s not how Sans seemed to see it.”

Undyne tried to find a lie about Sans, but her brain and mouth wouldn’t work together. “She’d tricked Alphys into staying with her and wouldn’t let her go. I took care of things. You guys wanna put those guns down? Just so we’re clear, the army’s on its way, and they _won’t_ be happy if anything’s happened to me.”

They kept the blasters up. “Seeing as you’re the empress,” surmised Gerson.

“Exactly. What are you two trying to accomplish? I need your help bringing Alphys back to the palace, and you’re acting like I’m a criminal.”

“The whole Underground knows you’re a criminal,” rasped the mouse. “We knew it before today. But if something should happen to you here… _Empress_ Undyne…” He gestured toward the door, and the staircase beyond. “Seems to me we’ve got something to blame it on.”

“Wahaa. Llewyn, are you actually planning to murder her?”

He reshouldered his blaster. “Depends. Empress, you want to spell out why exactly you came here alone in the middle of the night?”

She didn’t. She really didn’t. “Alph, you know this guy, right? Tell him to take it easy.” Just in case, she started thinking of that scene in the hallway, getting ready to load if she had to.”

Alphys’s eyes lit up. “L-Llewyn, I know what you should do! Don’t worry, I’ve got a plan.”

He seemed interested. “Yeah?”

Alphys shifted her tail on the table, her eyes shining. “You should shoot her!”

Shit. Undyne focused on her memory of the hallway. Go back, go back!

“Shoot her?” From his tone of voice, he seemed a little too eager about the idea. “You sure?”

“Positive,” said Alphys. “Nothing’s going to be okay ever again… but this way, at least there can be a little less—”  
  
  
***FILE 1 LOADED*  
**   


Holy dust. Alphys had wanted to kill her.

Well, there they were again. In the hallway. At the same familiar impasse that wasn’t an impasse. It was starting to feel a little unreal, and Undyne was starting to feel misgivings about listening to the flower, but it was too late now. She was in it for a pound. She spent a few moments catching her breath and making a plan, and then rushed forward again.

Distract Alphys with the spears. Leap kick to Toriel’s face. Kick, stomp, spear to the gut. Drag Alphys carefully inside, fending off giant hand strikes. Stuff three snails down her throat, leave her in her bedroom. Come out to take on Toriel.

No. Damn it, Toriel was gone. Footprints in the snow. Undyne ran to chase her down, but trying to spot her in Snowdin Forest was like trying to find a white…. piece of paper in a pile of white things. Screw it. Start over.  


***FILE 1 LOADED*  
**   


Inside for snails and water. Hold them under your arm while you use spears to distract, jumpkick to the forehead. Stomp the face, spear to the gut, this time a spear in each eye so she can’t see you. That’ll take time to heal, time she hasn’t got. Ignore the wailing. Force the snails down Alphys’s throat, follow up with water. A few more bundles of spears to Toriel’s gut—no wasting time with head kicks this time. There—that did it, she was dust. Spear to the soul just to be sure, then take Alphys inside. More snails, then—

The flower stuck himself out of a wall. “Wow. So you really did it, huh? You really killed the—”

“Shut it, flower. No time.”

“Oh. Oh I see. You’re in a hurry.” He smiled magnamimously. “I bet I’ve said all this before. Carry on, then!” He sank back into the wall.

Undyne put Alphys in one of the bedrooms, grabbed a frying pan from the kitchen, then dashed down the stairs. She ran to the end of the first hallway and waited behind the corner. Footsteps. When the mouse showed his face, Undyne whacked him with the pan, even as she sent magical spears flying past the corner. Gerson’s yelp joined the mouse’s groan. She grabbed the mouse’s blaster and smashed it against his skull. No point trying to use it—she’d never been able to get these things to work. According to Alphys, it took two ingredients neither of them had—age and bitterness. The only member of her army who could fire the damn things was Knight Knight, or she would’ve used them everywhere in the big battle.

“Damn your eyes, how?” demanded the heavyset mouse, sprawled on the floor. “It’s like you knew we were coming!”

She stepped past him to see if Gerson was down. He wasn’t; she ducked back just in time to dodge a heavy beam of pure white, then sent three spears and a jumper around the corner. She kicked the tortoise in the knee as she rounded the corner, then knocked the blaster out of his hands. He met her gaze, balling his fists.

“Maybe you don’t remember it, Undyne. But there was a time, back in my cave, when you made me promise to put you back on track if you ever got too full of yourself. Well, I’m cashing in! You’re about as full of guano as anyone ever was.”

“How am I full of myself?” demanded Undyne. “I know I’m a lousy ruler. I just came here to try and make _one_ thing right.”

Another voice cut in, from behind. “well, if that promise isn’t good enough for you, how about the one you made to me?” It was Sans. Standing behind her with his own blaster, hovering it. “you promised if i told you about alphys, you wouldn’t do anything dumb. tell me, undyne. does it get much dumber than this?”

She was trapped. Chances were she could take a hit or two from that thing, but she didn’t know what the skeleton was capable of in combat, and her overall odds weren’t great. There had to be a way through this. There _had_ to be.

“Hands up, Empress,” said the mouse, climbing to his feet. “You’re guilty of regicide. Regicide, we don’t forgive.”

“You’re about to commit regicide right now!” she shrieked, buying time.

“wait. what are you doing?” demanded Sans. “are you trying to turn back—”  


***FILE 1 LOADED*  
**   


Quiet again. Two sad faces down the hallway. Sans, Gerson and the mouse, all on their way with Gaster’s energy blasters. Her own army, a few hours behind. How could she get out of this?

She darted into the house for snails and water. Armed herself with a frying pan she could use in concert with her magic. Went down to make sure they were still there, then waited for the flower to show up.

“Psst. Hey!”

She stepped back and murmured to him. “Hi. So, this is the fourth time we’ve talked. Do you remember from before, or…”

“Not quite. But hey, I can see you’re doing fine on your own! Loading up a storm, are we? Don’t worry—I have a feeling this time’s gonna be the charm. What’re you trying to do—kill the old lady without killing the lizard?”

“And escape in one piece,” Undyne growled. “You know the skeleton sentry, Sans?”

The flower scowled. “All too well.”

“He’s coming, with a blaster. He’s sending two friends up ahead, but he’s the one I’m worried about. How do I take him out?”

“Ol’ Smiley’s coming to make trouble, huh?” The flower grinned nastily. “Leave him to me. I’ll distract him long enough.”

The flower disappeared before she could ask questions, but she decided to take him at his word. She put her attack into motion. Spears as distraction, headkick, gutshot, face stomp, crush both paws so she can’t run as fast. Snails for Alphys, water to wash them down. Drag her around the corner, ignore her pleas even though you don’t want to. Back to Toriel, who was struggling toward the exit door on hands and knees. Frying pan to the back of the head, spears to the chest and back, dodge the magic hands, helmet against the rain of fire. Spear. Spear. Jumper spear. Neck punch. Spears until she dies. Come on, devil queen, _die!_ Finally! Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Kill the soul and retreat, footsteps are coming! Wait by the corner, get the pan ready… _swing!_ Spear around the corner, kick the mouse while he’s down, another pan to the face. Spears at Gerson, dodge the blast, smash the blaster. Pan to the face before he can remind you of the promise you made him make. Bundle of spears to incapacitate him. Beat both mouse and tortoise until they’re too weak to chase you down.

“Damn you,” croaked the mouse.

“Damn yourself, fatty. You guys are both traitors.” Back around the corner to get Alphys. Undyne lugged her past the two wounded fighters struggling on the floor. She lugged her out the door into Snowdin Forest, then remembered Alphys couldn’t take the cold and was fading fast. Back inside, damn it. Back to the house. Another few blows each to the mouse and Gerson. Grab blankets from the bed and a little more food. Wrap Alphys in clothes and blankets. Back down the stairs and out to the forest.

“Hey Alph. We’re going for a trip, okay?”

She didn’t say anything, just hung limp. Got to get her to safety. Undyne cut through the trees, avoiding the main path so Sans would have a tougher time finding her. She didn’t mind the cold herself. It was good for her—it slowed her down at times like these, when she really needed it. She worried about Alphys, even under all the blankets. She held her feet to keep them warm and clutched the Alphys bundle tightly against her body. Eventually she’d make it to warmer lands, if the flower was good for his word.

He was. She did. She walked through Waterfall, then ran into her army coming to help her. She gave Alphys to Knight Knight to carry back and had the Hotland conscripts warm her up. She sent soldiers to arrest Gerson and the mouse, Llewyn. Madjick kept an eye out for Sans _or_ the flower, but neither showed up all the way to the palace.

She ordered Alphys taken to the best bedroom, tucked her in with warm broth and warm blankets. Stayed with her for hour after hour. Set guards to make sure Sans couldn’t get in, ordered a bounty for his capture. Suzy Creamcheese sent a letter resigning as Royal Scientist—turned out the mouse traitor had been her dad. Undyne didn’t care. She sent for Mettaton to come and try and boost Alphys back to full. He looked at the situation with consternation and told Undyne to leave the room. She hated doing it, but she did. An hour later, Mettaton came out and told her Alphys was determined to be miserable, and in his experience there was simply no getting through to such people.

“She just needs to warm up and get some sleep. Perspective. That’s what it’s all about, right, tin legs?”

He hesitated. “I’m afraid my perspective may not be terribly useful here, majesty. I don’t know what it’s like to have one’s lover murdered before one’s eyes—I’ve only ever been in love with myself.”

“It wasn’t murder,” she growled. “It was justified.”

“As murder so often seems to be,” he agreed tepidly.

Undyne brushed past him. “Fine, I’ll take over again. We’ll get her back. You’ll see.”

Alphys just lay there. She didn’t say anything. She was warm—Undyne couldn’t use that as an excuse anymore. She was well fed. She’d slept. Her injuries, horrifying though they’d been, had all fully healed. But she still wasn’t saying or doing _anything._ Undyne was getting desperate, because she had a growing feeling this might be all she was going to get.

“Come on, Alph. Talk to me. What do you need to feel better?”

She just lay there, her head tucked forward, staring forlornly at her own breast, or at nothing.

“Alphys! You’ve been resting long enough! I know what you need—stimulation! You’ve probably just been dreaming of that nasty queen and all the spells she cast on you. We’ve gotta give you something else to think about. How about… some games at the MTT Resort?”

Nothing. Undyne dragged Alphys out of bed. When Alphys wouldn’t change herself, Undyne dressed her in a lab coat they’d brought in from the old lab. Then she dragged her bodily from the palace to the resort nearby. A couple of royal guards shadowed them, keeping watch at a distance. They walked past monsters having fun at all sorts of games—cage lacrosse, catapult bingo, teeter topple, stuff like that. Alphys looked up for a moment now and then but didn’t show any interest.

“You like that? Here, let’s play teeter topple. Come on, I’ll strap you in.”

But Alphys wouldn’t stay on the paddle. She just kept falling off and wouldn’t play. She wouldn’t play anything—Undyne tried pretty much every game. She even brought Alphys to the arcade section and tried to get her to play Magic Sword Dating Simulator, a game _she’d_ invented—but she just stared at the screen. At least now she was crying, a little—Undyne could see her eyes glazing over. “All right, that’s it, Alphys. Let it out. Give it a good cry. That’s what you need, isn’t it?”

Alphys turned to Undyne with a look of shock and perturbation. Her eyes dried up fast, and her expression passed quickly through fear and disgust into something more… transcendent. Something truly awful. Undyne wanted to wipe that look off of her face.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Alphys, don’t. Come on. It was for your own good, Alphys, don’t you get that? Alphy, this is awful, we haven’t played any games all day. Just say something! Why won’t you talk to me?”

The reptilian jaw shuddered, as if she was about to say something, but she just let her head fall instead. Undyne reached out and lifted it. “Come on, please. What’s on your mind? You can yell at me if you want—I won’t be mad. Just come back to us, Alphy.” But then Alphys looked at her, and she stopped short. It was virulent. Her buckteeth were like fangs. It was like she was staring not at Undyne, but into her. Like she was willing Undyne to explode.

_She’s hating me. This is what her hating me with the conviction of a million black suns looks like._

_Just like she said she would. Forever._

“Please. I know you’re mad about the queen. But I did it for you, Alphys! Can’t you see I did it for you?! You’re probably still under her spell, that’s what this is. We’ve gotta find some way to cure you. Fun and games aren’t gonna cut it. What about a kiss, Alphys? If I kiss you with true love, will that break the spell?”

Alphys spoke softly, her first words since the purple hallway. “She didn’t cast any spells. I just loved her.”

It was spoken with such hatred, such blame, such judgment, that Undyne found herself wondering if it was true. But she couldn’t just give up—it was probably the spell making her say that. She had to try a kiss. She couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t try a kiss. “All right, Alph. Anything you say. Just, please—know that I love you. I just want to smooch, just once, okay?”

Alphys’s expression softened into glum indifference. That was good enough for Undyne. She knelt beside the arcade seat, took Alphys in her arms, and drew her forward, slowly, wiling herself to feel true love. The expression on that face was so alien, so far from what she knew. It scared Undyne, but she moved her lips closer.

Then the angry voice of the damn flower cut in from nowhere. “SAVE your stupid TIMELINE already, you IDIOT,” he crashed. She shuddered and closed her ears, but the torn one couldn’t block him out. “ _Save your file, you imbicile, before it’s too late!!_ ”

She ignored him and brought her lips to Alphys’s snout. Alphys threw her arms around Undyne and kissed her back. _Yes._ It was working! The kiss was bringing her back! She hugged her dumpy little lover and kissed savagely, pouring all her love into the act. Alphys brought her hands around Undyne’s head, stroking, caressing. She plunged both her thumbs—OH MY GOD OH MY GOD—straight into Undyne’s only eye. FUCK FUCK, FUUUCK! Undyne fell back, toppling blind to the floor. “Fuck it, Alphys, what the fuck!!” she yelled. The arcade was staring at her, she could tell. She could hear the bleeps and bloops, but couldn’t see a thing. “Alphys, what were you—”

Then she felt the tiny teeth biting and tearing at the scales of her face. The impact of little knees and little fists pummeling her ribs and jaws. Alphys was trying to kill her.

Fuck this. Screw it. Bring it back the way it was. Bring it back!

“YOU BONEHEADED IDIOT!!” screamed the flower. She knew she was an idiot. She knew! Just make things how they were! Why couldn’t she load her file?

Alphys smashed something hard and metal into her mouth, shattering some of her teeth. She tore at Undyne’s hair. Undyne felt the guards tearing Alphys away, but that was even worse, somehow. She was left lying alone and didn’t even want to get to her feet. The world was dark. She would have been willing to give living blind a try, if Alphys loved her, but she knew that wasn’t going to happen. There was no cure, no spell. There was no route to happiness from here. Put it back! Put it back the way it was!!  


***FILE 1 LOADED*  
**   


And there they were again.

Undyne stood there, taking in the calm. Taking in the fact she could see again. She stared at the duo down the hallway, into the eyes of the boss monster. For the first time, she saw through the steely determination of the goat queen’s gaze. She saw terror there.

Undyne could barely will herself to move. What would she do differently this time? Interrogate the queen about her wiles? Get her to say what the cure was? But—but there _was_ no cure—Undyne knew that now. She was just…

She was just looking at a couple ladies in love who were terrified she was going to kill them.

Huge blocks of air seemed to crash down on Undyne at different angles, one after another. _She_ was the villain here. She was a warrior for justice, and had come here to commit murder. _M_ _urder._ She’d stolen everything from this woman. She’d deprived the people of her leadership, her reassurance in the face of strife, her competence. She’d given them anger and fear to feed on instead. Undyne was the villain here. She flashed back through everything she knew about Toriel, trying to remember the evil acts she was so sure she’d committed… but there were none. It was all in Undyne’s interpretations, all in her head. _Toriel had done nothing evil._ Each block of reality that crashed down left her mind clearer, and she hated it. She couldn’t stand the clarity. She hadn’t been able to stand losing Asgore, _and_ Papyrus in one day. She’d overreacted. She’d thrown everything into hating the humans, and when she couldn’t tear their bodies to pieces personally for what they’d done, she’d needed someone else to hate. Toriel. She’d put it all on Toriel, who’d come along at just the right moment to be the bad guy. _Undyne_ was the villain in this story. She’d been _so convinced_ this boss monster had been the secret bad guy, the one she had to hate. There _had_ to be someone to hate, didn’t there?! So she’d stolen her reign and her freedom and her dignity and now she was stealing her girlfriend and her life, her _life_ , and yes Undyne _wanted_ Alphys to love her instead but she couldn’t change another person’s mind, she couldn’t get what she wanted by killing, no one could, and besides that, could she even _blame_ Alphys? _Undyne was the villain of this story._ Who would want to love someone like that?

They were watching her pulling her own hair. They stared at her. She shouted at them to fend off the tears she knew were coming. “Hey. Queen! Toriel! You didn’t… you didn’t trick Alphys into coming here, or staying?”

A glimmer of hope cut through those steely eyes. “I did not. She came of her own accord, and I only chose to make her welcome.”

“But then… Alphys… why did you come here in the first place? Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving? Why did you let me think you were dead?” She knew the answer already, but she had to ask.

“I—I just wanted a clean start!” Alphys’s voice was still slurred from her drastic injuries. “I was afraid if I told you, or anyone else where I was going…” She shrugged helplessly, her saggy snout swinging. “…it wouldn’t really be clean. I hated myself… if I wanted to get away from myself, I h-had to go through… a mysterious door in the forest, and no one could follow me.”

“But I missed you!” cried Undyne.

“I know,” said Alphys. “But somehow it didn’t seem right to come back.”

“Psst,” said the familiar voice. “Hey.”

Undyne turned with rage toward the flower, just around the corner like before. “WHAT.”

He quailed back, startled. “Geez. Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I’m guessing you just came back from a bad timeline?”

She hated that he knew what she was doing, even if he didn’t. “Okay, enough of this. _Who are you?_ ”

“Who are you talking to?” asked Toriel, staring up the hall.

“Shhh!” implored the flower. “YOU’RE the one I’m talking to. Not them. And I’m just a helpful friend! I saw you were in a pickle and I wanted to help.”

“You said you’d talked to me a hundred times,” Undyne pointed out.

“Did I? I have trouble keeping track sometimes. But that sounds about right! See, I used to have your power, Undyne. I used to be able to live things over and over and over and over, and now it’s you who does that! I just wanted to help you get used to it. Settle in and have a good time!”

Yeah, that was definitely happening. “Where did you come from?”

“Oh, that’s not really important. If you have to, I guess you can ask Alphys, unless you’re about to kill her. But you’ve got a little crush, don’t you?” He winked adorably and nudged a leaf.

Undyne fell to her knees. “I’ve ruined everything. I was a tremendous idiot and now I’ve lost her. I won’t ever have Alphys. No matter how many times I reload.”

The flower looked annoyed. “Is that all you want? Just to love one little stupid-looking scientist with no self-awareness? She was dumb enough to create ME. How great could she be?”

“She’s wonderful,” moaned Undyne. “She’s adorkable. And now she’ll never be mine.”

“Undyne?” called Alphys. “Wh-who’s there? Who are you talking to?”

She shot back an angry answer: “Some flower who says you created him.”

“What?!” Alphys and Toriel both gasped, then looked at each other.

“I guess they know you,” she told the flower. “I don’t care. I really don’t care. Was I really this stupid?” She turned and shouted so the others could hear her: “Am I really the villain in all this?!”

They didn’t answer. She walked closer to the pair, shaking on the inside. She didn’t know what she was about to do. Toriel put her hands around Alphys, ready to raise her as a shield, but now she could see how it pained her to do it, and she knew it was a bluff. She saw how Alphys quailed back at her, utterly afraid. After all the times they’d spent together. After everything they’d talked about, and done. This was where it had led.

“Please,” said Toriel.

Undyne stopped walking. “Sure. Please. Sure. Why didn’t you just say so? Magic word. Okay, sure. Since you said please, you can live.” She hated the hope she saw rising in their eyes. She hated that it was necessary. “And tell you what—since you said please, you can have the whole damn kingdom back. You want that? Want to be queen again? Fine. I’m done. Go back and take your throne and do whatever. Go love your beautiful little genius until she’s a puddle in your big, woolly hands. I’m toast. I’m so screwed. So screwed. This is all my fault, isn’t it?” She spread her arms to encompass everything she could. “It’s all my fault! ISN’T IT!”

“I suppose one could see things that way,” said Toriel cautiously.

Fuck. She’d just learned that she had a superpower, and even it was useless to her. She couldn’t go back and undo her mistakes. She’d saved her file too late. Thank the _stars_ she hadn’t saved it after killing Toriel, or Alphys, but it was still too late. She’d made a mess of everything. She couldn’t go back to being a royal guard. She couldn’t go back to being empress. She was the villain, and no one wants a villain in their workforce. What was she going to do? What could she do? Did she deserve to die?

“You’re really letting Toriel be queen again?” asked Alphys.

The tears finally broke. “Stars! Yes! You’re in charge now. I wish I could do it over. I wish I could fucking do it over.” She clenched her fists before her, kneeling, wishing she could bring herself to pound the ground.

The flower was right beside her now. “You knooow… there _is_ another choice.”

“no,” said Sans, who was somehow standing between Undyne and the stairs up. How the hell? He didn’t have a blaster, but he had a tuxedo on and a deadly glint in his eye.

“Oh my gosh,” exclaimed Toriel. “Is that—is it—”

“Saving is just for everyday reality management,” continued the flower. “If you _really_ want to go back _all_ the way… you can.”

“don’t you dare,” said Sans. “undyne, i know this guy seems like a smart cookie, but you _really_ don’t want to listen to him.”

“Is that you, my child? My dear child?” Toriel rose, staggering, to her feet. “Asriel?”

“Great. Now look what you’ve done,” said the flower.

Undyne was so confused. She wanted to leave. She felt like Alphys must have felt, standing on the brink of that waterfall. She wanted to cut ties with everything. More than anything, she wanted to start over.

“I can tell what you’re thinking,” said the flower. “You want to start over.”

She was about to answer when a beam of searing light scorched the ground where the flower had been. He’d ducked away—or had he? She followed the beam’s source to Sans, who had a blaster now and looked grim. “actually, undyne… you really don’t.”

“ASRIEL!” shouted Toriel. She ran forward, leaving herself wide open. Alphys, injured badly, struggled to keep up.

“Actually, Sans,” Undyne ventured. “I really do. That really is what I want to do.”

“listen, undyne. if you go back… it could be the end of everything. the end of all of us, except you. sure, we’d still be around. but not this me. and not this alphys, or this toriel. this world that we’re in? you’re sentencing it to death. if you think you messed things up as empress, you definitely don’t want to do this.”

“Have you killed my son?!” shouted Toriel at Sans. Her son? The flower was her son?

“i don’t think so, tori. i think he got away. but he’s not our friend. he’s against us.”

“That is not what matters to me at this moment,” shouted Toriel. “He is _still_ my son!”

Undyne hung her head. How could she have ever thought this lady was evil? She was a marshmallow, just like Asgore. And Undyne had killed her, four times. She couldn’t give up that memory. They didn’t know she’d done it, but she did, and she’d never forget it.

“I’m still here,” said the flower, now dangling from the ceiling. “But I’m _not_ your son. Your son is DEAD.”

“That is a matter of debate,” said Toriel. “And I intend to have that discussion, and to see that debate through in its entirety. Until then, I am considering you my beloved son Asriel, and _no one_ will be permitted to use any weapon upon you.” She glared daggers at Sans, who slowly lowered his blaster.

“Undyne,” said Alphys.

“Yeah. What.”

“Are you really… are you taking it all back? You don’t want to hurt Tori? Are you… are you sorry?”

Sorry. She didn’t know. She wasn’t together enough right now to know what ‘sorry’ meant. “I guess so. I don’t know. I just know I’m a failure.”

“You can still reset!” chirped the flower. “Just empty your mind of everything you’ve ever learned, and tell yourself you don’t want to _be_ anymore. Your life won’t stop. You’ll come back somewhen else!”

“sounds like a real gyp of a system,” said Sans. “even if she wants to get out, she can’t?”

“It’s brilliant,” cackled the flower in a saccharine voice. “And it’s terrible! Do you think death is an escape?” His face went cruel. “DON’T COUNT ON IT.”

“I want to go back,” said Undyne. She could relate to this flower, even if he was a psychopath. After what she’d just spent the last day doing, who was she to judge him for that?

“don’t do it, undyne. it’s a bad idea.”

“You know you’ll have to eventually,” said the flower. “You’ll spend your days wondering what will happen. Eventually, you’ll do it. So why not now? Why wait?

Footsteps clambered at the end of the hallway. The turtle and the mouse hurried in, armed and ready to save the day. They stopped short at the tableau, trying to figure out what was going on. “Alphys,” said Undyne. “I wish it could have been me. I really loved you. I really wish it could’ve been me.”

Alphys stared at Undyne with sympathetic eyes. Those eyes were what she’d wanted to see. But she couldn’t stand to look at them for another moment.

“Waa haa. What’s this? Are things about to solve themselves on their own, with no help from the heroes?” cackled Gerson.

Undyne emptied herself of the desire to be. It wasn’t hard. There were two huge buttons in front of her. CONTINUE. RESET. Had they always been there, and she’d just been too blind to notice?

“undyne, i’m serious. everything you’ve done up to now, that’s nothing compared to this. give yourself a chance to do the right thing for once. keep plugging, for everyone’s sake.”

“You can start fresh,” encouraged the flower. “You just heard how well it worked out for Alphys! It can work for you too! There’s a bright, fresh new world waiting for you. All you have to do is reset!”

“i’m begging you, undyne. if there’s ANYTHING left you still care about, anything or anyone at all… for their sake, don’t do it!”

She reached out for the button. She saw Gerson and Llewyn dash forward, aiming their blasters at her. She saw the flower watching her, dandy and smug. She saw Sans, wound tight as the clockspring at the center of the universe, and Toriel, filled with a dozen emotions. She saw Alphys. She looked at Alphys. Beautiful little Alphys.

“I’m so sorry for everything,” she said. And she pushed the button.  


***TRUE RESET*  
**   
  


* * *

 

Toriel shielded herself from the flare that burst forth from Undyne’s body, shaped like a four-pointed star. There were shadows as the flare faded, but no cinders. And no pain. Asriel had vanished, but the rest of them were alive, and Undyne was gone. She did not know what to say or do.

“huh,” said Sans, standing there at the end of the hallway. His weapon fell to his feet. “so that’s what happens. life goes on.”

“Wahahaaa,” said Gerson, though Toriel could not fathom what for.

[++++++++++++%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%+]

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that’s a chapter, isn’t it! Fifteen thousand words and no apologies. Also, I’m releasing it at 9:30 p.m. on a Sunday. Well, what do people do besides read fanfiction at 9:30 on a Sunday evening? I have no idea—I don’t understand people.
> 
> Back in April, hjk321 gave me a sentence to include later in the story: "She hadn't realized how horrible of an idea it was until she heard the 'splat.'" You’re welcome, huge-jungle-kat321!
> 
> Everything has to end someday, and this novel’s final chapter will be the next one. For the first (and last) time in this entire story, I don’t have any of it written in advance. I’m finally out of buffer. But I’ll have Chapter 42 done by next weekend, I promise. The weekend after, I’ll put out one last bonus update, with details and secrets about _Alphys and the Queen_ that might not have been obvious at first glance.
> 
> What -is- Gerson laughing at?


	42. The Kingdom of Monsters

 

[+]

**Scene 42: The Kingdom of Monsters**

_or_

“Final Episode”  
  


* * *

 

  
_The trouble with cutting edge entertainment,_ Mettaton reflected, _is that it must_ cut. _It must be fresh. The news is not called the trusty, tried and true, after all. It must be new to monsters, up to date. Which means that the process of planning a top quality show in the midst of uncertainty must necessarily be a pain._

It was not the first time his thoughts had run this way, of course. The well worn paths of his mind tended to run wet with awareness again and again when he was in torpor, hanging from his support tree in the shape of a giant golden coat hanger. Even soporific thoughts were prone to staleness, not unlike entertainment stars. To create anything truly new required alertness, awareness, and real effort. Mettaton’s job was not one that could be done by someone half awake.

Yet he needed this time each night to resynchronize his true mind with his robot brain. Without it, he went loopy and uncontrollable. When he had posed as a killer robot for Alphys’s ill-fated scheme, he had been drawing on the real impulses that wracked him whenever he failed to get enough torpor. Like any brilliant actor, his lies had been drawn from the truth. But that meant he mustn’t get up yet—not just yet, even if the world needed him. He wasn’t even sure whether there would _be_ an episode of his show today, given that Undyne was off on a fool’s errand and the army was marching. Would today be a day of warfare? Would Mettaton be expected to lead the army, or worse, the entire Underground? Or would he simply get to make snide remarks about it all, one breaking headline after another, in front of a live audience?

When one hung silent and motionless in the dark, sometimes it was hard to believe that the travails of life could be conquered at all. Often, they simply seemed too unfathomably distant from—

“hey.”

Uh-oh. Now _this_ —this was an emergency. Royal Adviser Waylaid in his Own Private Suite While Sleeping? It wasn’t true sleep, of course, but headlines couldn’t tell the _whole_ truth. He shook his servos into service and turned his head. “Who’s there?”

“eh. just me. no one to get worried about. sorry i didn’t make an appointment, but time’s kinda short.”

Mettaton looked at the interloper. A skeleton. _That_ skeleton. “I know you, don’t I?”

The skeleton shrugged. “what with one thing and another, you probably ought to by now. but if you don’t, that’s fine. my feelings aren’t hurt. i’ve been spending most of my time in the ruins for the last year and a quarter, anyhow.”

“The queen’s ally,” he suddenly remembered, then tried to make it sound like he was mulling thoughtfully. “In the Ruins, you say! You’ve been keeping old Mrs. Asgore company.”

“yup. pretty much. but here’s the thing. we’ve got a problem.”

Given that Undyne had resolved to march there personally and murder the queen, Mettaton imagined they certainly did. Was she dead by now? “Oh?” he asked, playing it close to the breastplate.

“the royal army. it’s marching toward the ruins now. it’ll arrive in a couple of hours, and it’s got orders to barge in and kill toriel if undyne doesn’t come back and tell it not to.”

Mettaton was familiar with these orders. “And has Undyne proven recalcitrant on this matter?”

The skeleton paused. “sort of,” he said. “but the bottom line is, she’s not coming back.”

Now Mettaton’s hydraulics surged, squealing a little as his limbs and backbone stiffened. Torpor was clearly over; he leapt off the hanger and landed on his feet. “Not coming back from the ruins? Not ever?”

Sans shook his head.

This was worse… and perhaps better… than Mettaton had imagined. “Level with me, mysterious intruder. Is she dead?”

He stood silent in the shadows. “not exactly,” he eventually said. “it’s hard to explain. but she’s gone. she’s never coming back. might as well be dead.”

Close enough for headlines, he meant. And what a headline! What did this mean? “I suppose that makes me the new emperor,” Mettaton reflected. And he glanced sharply at the monster in the shadows, hands in his pockets. “Are you here to assassinate me?”

“nah,” said the skeleton. “i’m just here to make sure things don’t get out of hand.”

Indeed. Mettaton could very much sympathize. “You’re worried about the queen,” he surmised.

“bingo. tori means a lot to us there. i’ve lost enough people in my life. i’m not sure i could stand losing her too.”

Interesting. “I suppose you want me to send word to the army and cancel their orders?”

The skeleton nodded. “i’m actually hoping you’ll set aside your claim to the throne and let toriel take over as queen again.”

Mettaton’s power inducer kicked into overdrive. He posed carefully so as to send an ambiguous signal. “And why, exactly, would I do that?”

The visitor stepped forward, his mostly round head coming into the beam of the miniature pink and purple searchlights that kept the suite dimly lit. “because you’re not a leader—you’re a a superstar. they’re not quite the same thing, are they?”

Mettaton smiled with half his mouth. “Not quite. It’s true, I haven’t been exactly happy as royal adviser. But consider—with Undyne in charge, I haven’t exactly been able to stretch my legs! We can’t assume I wouldn’t enjoy ruling!”

“you think it’s a good idea to experiment like that? see what makes you happy, even if it means the monsters may not have the best ruler?”

Well. It was clear this skeleton didn’t think all that highly of Mettaton’s leadership skills. But then, he was clearly biased. “Are you assuming Toriel would make a better ruler than myself?”

“nah. maybe you’re a natural. who knows? but we know tori knows how to be queen. you’re an unknown quantity on that throne. is it really worth the risk?”

Mettaton strode to the room’s control panel and diddled his fingers over the buttons; spotlights crashed on, illuminating him and his visitor dramatically. The skeleton shied back but didn’t hide. “My calciferous comrade!” he announced. “What is life about, if not risk? How many of us get a chance at leading an entire people? How can I say no to the chance when it arises? Perhaps it would be disastrous. Perhaps it would be splendiferous! But either way, can you deny it would be the experience of a lifetime?” He swung around the pole of his wardrobe tree, hung lavishly with outfits and three times his height. The truth was, Mettaton was more or less certain the former queen _would_ make a better ruler than himself, and he did relish the idea of returning his full attention to show business. But the idea of simply letting go of power seemed nothing less than foolish. If he resisted this messenger, it was to see what he could leverage from the situation—how much power he could retain without being saddled by responsibilities. Mettaton’s current position had a tragically high responsibility-to-power ratio; perhaps this was his moment to turn things around?

Distantly, he noted how little sadness he felt at the loss of Undyne. She was just a guard captain who had overplayed her hand, but Mettaton had yet to overplay his own and didn’t wish to be deprived of the chance.

“i get what you’re saying. but here’s the thing,” said the skeleton. “the way i see it, you’ve got three choices. one. you can kill the queen. in that case, you’re stuck as leader, and if you’re no good, the kingdom’s sore out of luck. choice two, you can leave her alive, but fight her for the throne. sure, it’s plenty of drama. but the monsters won’t be united, and whoever wins, a big chunk of the kingdom won’t be content. three, you can give her your support. let her rule, give the kingdom the ruler it deserves, and go back to doing what you do best.”

This bare-pated fellow had a point—if the queen were left alive, she would always have a contingent of followers claiming that she was the rightful monarch. And if he let the army kill her?

… _But she doesn’t deserve to die_ , he unexpectedly told himself.

That was odd. When he imagined the army killing the queen, he was unable to proceed further into analyzing the pros and cons, because the thought immediately reviled him. He tried, but he found himself distracted by the image of Toriel being struck down, and was forced to conclude something rather surprising: He had a conscience. This was what consciences did, wasn’t it? Render certain options immediately and thoroughly wrong? Well, well—how about that? Mettaton filed that away for his next torpor’s meditation.

Very well, he wouldn’t kill Mrs. Asgore. He had a soft spot for her, in fact. The two of them both thought of humans as more than dust-hungry savages. And he had to admit she had impeccable stage presence.

“It seems to me you may have overlooked a choice,” he hammed, still grasping the pole with one hand and setting a toe daintily against the floor.

“could be. can’t say i don’t have my blind spots. what’d i miss?”

Sighing internally for the statues he could have built, Mettaton favored the intruder with his most brilliant show smile. “Why _fight_ for the throne when we have so many more entertaining ways to settle disputes? Let’s settle the question of the monarchy like civilized people!”

The skeleton pushed his elbows back against his jacket pockets. “you mean…”

Mettaton winked. “Tell the queen I’ll gladly call off the army and give her a sporting chance at the throne… _if_ she agrees to appear on my game show.”  
  


* * *

  
It had already been a long morning, and even now, her fate was not yet settled. Toriel consoled herself with the thought that for Undyne, this day had most likely been even longer. They had no way to know how many times she had wound back time, how many hours or days or weeks she had spent trying to wring happiness from an Alphys who had lost her Toriel… all they knew was that the attempt had crushed the delusion out of her, leaving her guilt-wracked and broken. It had grieved Toriel to see her adversary in such a state, but the joy of knowing she had been spared was an overwhelming one, and she could not mourn Undyne properly. Add to that the fact that she had _seen her son_ , had _spoken_ with him… even if he was utterly changed in body, mind and (lack of) soul, it was still him, it was still Asriel; she had been with Asriel for the first time in nine hundred years, and she felt lighter than a leaf and brighter than a Vulkin. She could not sit still or speak to her comrades without grinning. Her ears would not lie flat. She was still in her nightgown, but did not retire to change because she did not want to be encumbered by a robe. Toriel was _so excited._

Alphys was healed now, her horrendous disfigurement gone. Bread and broth and snails and ointment had put an end to that, and that was part of Toriel’s relief. Alphys had come so very close to scattering, much closer than any monster should ever come. Even when injured in the War of Humans and Monsters, Toriel had never approached such a state. Alphys hugged her now from the side, her head on Toriel’s belly, and Toriel was constantly reminded of what a treasure she had. Alphys had nearly given her life to save her. The strength of her love had been proven beyond the slightest doubt. And Toriel found love emanating from her heart with every beat as well. She had genuinely expected to die that morning; had believed that after a hundred thirty billion heartbeats, her time had finally come. And perhaps the army would still march in to claim her, without Undyne to turn them back. But she and Alphys would collapse the tunnel and hide in the ruins of Home if they did, and she would give her best speech to win them over, and the small monsters of the Ruins would protect her. If she was to die this day, she would do so remembering Asgore and evoking the dignity of all monsterkind.

And if she was not? Then she might well live to issue another hundred billion heartbeats.

“You know, time was I had a bit of a crush on your girl too!” remarked Gerson, sitting on the purple floor and cleaning a large warhammer. “Every hero fights for something, and I had a ghost of an inkling I might be fighting for the heart of the queen!”

“Gerson,” Toriel chided. Must he embarrass her? Well. There was no harm in it, and talk was an improvement over anxious silence.

“Really?” asked Alphys, lifting her head. “Y-you liked Toriel?”

“Oh, I knew she was out of my league. Taken, too! She was betrothed to old Fluffybuns before I could even _lift_ a hammer.” He chuckled to himself, fingering the wooden handle. “But that won’t stop a fella from fantasizing. What if she notices me? What if she’s so taken by my good looks and valiant warriorship that she breaks off her engagement and demands my hand instead? I’d try to dissuade her, of course, remind her of her duties, but what if she just wouldn’t be reasoned with?” He burst out a crooked, indulgent grin. “I might have been worn down eventually. That’s all I’m trying to say. Waa-ha.”

Alphys grinned guilty to Toriel. “Did you have any idea?”

It was hard for Toriel even to think back that far. “I suppose I might have had an inkling,” she admitted with a smile.

“Of course, she was an older woman,” he added. “That didn’t help my case. When I was around twenty-two, she was thirty-three… and I knew I must’ve been crazy to think she might fall for someone so young.” He leaned back and cackled. “Shows what I knew! How many centuries have you got on this girl, Tori?”

He just had to poke at the sensitive places, did he not? “Forty-nine precisely.”

“Forty-nine centuries. And here I was thinking _I_ was too young! Oh, don’t worry, I’m not complaining. Love’s funny—I won’t argue it’s not. And I can tell you two are quite the match. Scales and wool—big and little—intuition and science, even! But you fit together. I can see it from here, clear as day—you’re a better match than she and I would ever have been.”

Alphys swallowed. “You really think so?”

He winked. “Looks that way to me. It doesn’t bother you that your girlfriend’s as old as the hills?” he asked in earnest.

“Old as the hills?” asked Alphys. “C-clear as day? You have some funny expressions.”

Gerson laughed. “Someday you’ll visit the surface—then you’ll _see_ how clear day is and you’ll _feel_ how old the hills are! But honestly, it doesn’t bother you she’s my age?”

Alphys hugged her tighter. “No! I think… I think I love her all the _more_ for how old she is! Every year she’s lived… m-means that much more experience! And I love experience. It’s so arousing!”

Toriel blushed. “And what if I were to tell you that I had been fibbing, and that I am truly _fifty_ thousand years of age?” she teased.

Alphys shook palpably and stared up with wide eyes. “Oh, Tori… don’t even j-joke about that. It’s not—it’s not true, is it?”

Toriel leaned back and laughed aloud, and it occurred to her that this purple corridor had never been so merry in all its existence. “No, my dear one, I am only forty-nine hundred twenty-eight! And I have hardly made good use of my years. Often I feel I should have learned more skills or sought out more knowledge! You have made such prime use of your few decades that you put me to shame!”

Alphys’s snout puckered in embarrassment and she held Toriel more gently. “I—I know I’ve learned a lot of things. I love learning!”

“And I would never want you to stop!” reassured Toriel, stroking her love, her protector, through the back of her nightshirt.

“And I won’t stop!” agreed Alphys. “But you know, I c-could always… teach you! I could teach you anything, Tori! I think I’d love teaching you anything I know.”

Toriel sat up straight and took an optimistic breath. “Would you teach me the principles of science, Alphys? That I might learn to love it as you do?”

“Oh, Tori!” she squealed, leaping up. “I’d _love_ that! But do you… do you really think you want to learn about science? I thought you didn’t r-really care about it.”

“It has always seemed too repetitive and intensive in the past,” she admitted. “But it is something you care for a great deal, and therefore the time has come for me to care as well.” She lifted her muzzle, the bases of her ears rising. “I may be a poor student, Alphys, but I can promise you I will do my best.”

Alphys gaped and squealed and wrapped herself around Toriel’s waist. “I’ll teach you _everything,_ ” she promised.

“Assuming the royal army doesn’t demolish this place and you with it,” cut in Llewyn, who had been sitting restlessly at the corridor’s bend, watching the inner doors and listening for intruders.

“Assuming that, yes,” admitted Toriel. “How long do you suppose we should wait for Sans before withdrawing and making fortifications?”

“As I see it, we should be protecting ourselves already. Collapse the tunnel last, but assume the worst. It’s not like Sans won’t find us wherever we are.”

“Fair point,” said Gerson. “Of course, the army doesn’t _know_ we’re traitors, Llewyn. We could skip off home and stay out of trouble, if we took a mind to.”

Llewyn grunted. “There’s a point past which daughters don’t forgive fathers anymore,” he said.

“Waahaha. Sounds like you’re staying, then. I’m with you. If they’re gonna mow down the queen of monsters, they can mow down the Hammer of Justice along with her. Who knows—maybe if I’m valiant enough, she’ll give me a kiss!”

Alphys glanced worriedly at him—as if Toriel might somehow fall for Gerson at this late stage! “Your valor is appreciated, both of you,” said Toriel. “Let us retire to town and see which structure seems to be the most defensible.”

“i’ve got a better idea,” said Sans, once again standing up the corridor behind them. “let’s get dressed to the nines. you never know when you’re gonna be on television.”

“Sans!” Toriel exclaimed, striding quickly to him. She knelt to give him a hug, knowing that unlike Alphys, he did not like to be lifted.

“hey tori.” He patted her on the back.

“Are you saying that we are to be… filmed?”

“i’m saying mettaton wants to make a show out of it. a big confrontation, the queen’s people against his. no violence, but plenty of fanfare. a big, tense parade back to hotland. you think any of the little monsters here might want to come along? i told him you might not have much in the way of ‘people’.”

Toriel frowned. “And then what, Sans? What does he intend for us?”

Sans shrugged. “same thing he invited you to before. ‘Who Wants to Be a Monarch?’” He imitated Mettaton’s voice uncannily, something Toriel often forgot he could do. “i think he feels miffed you turned down his invitation before.”

Toriel processed this. “So the rule of the Kingdom of Monsters is to be determined by game show?” she asked, skeptical.

“yup. and mettaton’s a contestant.”

“What are the terms of the contest?” she demanded. “And how can we possibly trust him to abide fairly, given that it is his own show?”

Sans peered at the others, who had come up behind them. “is it all right if i tell you all a secret? don’t worry, it’s not the kind you have to keep forever. just ‘til after the show.”

“Tell us,” said Llewyn. Alphys and Gerson nodded.

“mettaton’s gonna take a dive,” Sans explained. “you’ve got it in the bag. he’s gonna make it look like he’s got the win, but out of nowhere, wham. you’re even better. the crowd goes wild, he said. how good is this queen to beat mettaton at his own game? he’ll concede and give you all his support, and the kingdom loves you forever.”

“That is the plan?” ascertained Toriel.

“that’s the plan. he didn’t say what the game’d be, but he’ll take care of it. all he asks is that you make it entertaining. give his viewers a good show.”

Toriel grinned. She did not like the prospect of appearing on a circus of sensation for a fixed contest, but it was a prospect much better than fighting for her life. “Sans, you are a hero. You have saved the day!”

“i think he realizes you’ll be a better ruler than him. he just wants to milk it. we can let him milk it, can’t we?”

She straightened and started to think. “Absolutely. I will have to write a speech! And we shall have to see whether the Whimsuns are willing to dust off their coats of arms and accompany me.”

“M-maybe they can announce you with their trumpets!” suggested Alphys.

“An excellent thought! Come, everyone—let us prepare for a show!”  
  


* * *

  
It was a five-part contest, as it turned out. There were competitions in posing, speech-giving, regal fashion, speed leadership, and army command—all the top qualities needed in a leader, according to Mettaton, who hosted his program wearing a royal purple robe over his standard black and pink ensemble. Toriel would have included ‘vision for the future’ in that list, but perhaps that was not the sort of skill that lent itself well to competition. The other contestants were Jerry, Doggo, and the nice cream guy, and washed out quickly in that order. Mettaton handily won the posing and fashion rounds, but let Toriel eke out narrow victories at speech-giving and speed leadership—a preposterous column of monsters demanding justice and royal favors at increasingly frenetic speeds.

In the end it came down to paintball. Toriel actually enjoyed commanding her forces around a mock battlefield of papier-mâché obstacles—ordering them to form up, pull back, cover each over or charge for victory. It reminded her of the War, but the fact that no one’s life was in danger made the whole thing quite merry for her. She took well to it, eliminating most of Mettaton’s army without trouble, and only lost the bulk of her own forces due to a rather unsavory (and unfair) pudding-based pit trap. In the very end, of course, Toriel and Mettaton were the only ones left, and Mettaton managed to disarm and corner her. He gave a speech about how the Underground would look under his rule—dazzling lights everywhere so that no one need envy the humans their sun or stars, theme music for every monster, statues of Mettaton and his friends on every corner. Just as he raised his gun to fire, Toriel tossed a pebble to trigger a trap she had ostensibly planted—really, this part had been arranged in advance—and a bucket of multicolored paint came pouring down over Mettaton’s head. He feigned utter surprise and indignity while the crowd roared, and then found the aplomb to graciously concede to the ‘stunningly intelligent’ queen, kissing her hand. “Let the reign of Toriel begin!!” he cheered, and banners and sparkles in the air made testament to the fact that it was so.

Mettaton’s ratings had never been so high. With the show together with the parade and confrontation that had preceded it, he had hours of footage he could broadcast and re-broadcast to his heart’s content. And he did not wash the rainbow of paint streaks off his chassis for a week! Images of Mettaton with half his face smeared in a rainbow of paint were sold at the resort as a symbol of unity—who else could make his own image a symbol of unity?—and sales showed no signs of abating.  
  


* * *

  
Toriel entered the laboratory with Llewyn and Alphys close behind, a golden circlet on her head. She did not intend to wear a crown often, but there were certain special occasions for which it would make her happy. Among these, she reasoned, would be her first face-to-face meeting with Suzy Creamcheese.

The mouse was in a little swivel chair, regarding a wall of chemical samples but doing nothing. She whirled about with an infectious smile and dashed across the room. Sure enough, she cut a prim, bouncy figure and wore gray overalls, just like Alphys had described, a slim red bow affixed behind one large, delicate ear. “You’re here! You look just as beautiful in person,” she told Toriel admiringly. But she ran past Toriel to give hugs first to her father, then to Alphys, bestowing smoochy murine kisses on both.

“Daughter,” said Llewyn.

“I think you’re so brave to have come here, daddy. So brave.” She gave him another kiss.

“Not as rank a coward as before, you mean. It’s just a laboratory. It’s not like you’re meddling about with dark light, after all. Are you?”

“Daddy, I _wouldn’t_ do that. Not without letting you know first, at the very least. No, I’ve got other diabolical experiments afoot! Has Alphys told you about my plan to fill the atmosphere with tiny, shielded fragments of determination, all with electric signal receptors capable of igniting a chain reaction?”

He stared. “That sounds like a terrible idea.”

She bounced. “It does, doesn’t it? But it might be the best way we have to find the missing human souls! In theory, the signals would detect free-floating determination and light up a path from them to the generator—a crackling chain of light showing the way to salvation! I’m still working on a way to get them to utilize atmospheric electricity, though.”

“A-and the DT shield isn’t perfect,” added Alphys. “At least according to your last letter! If it malfunctions, monsters could accidentally absorb all the particles and start to melt!”

“Sounds like you two are doing great work,” said Llewyn dryly. “If it isn’t too big a favor, would you mind not killing us all?”

Suzy kissed him once more. “Just for you, Daddy.”

“Don’t worry,” said Alphys. “We won’t send anything out into the air without Toriel’s approval. We talked about it. And T-Toriel’s not really the rash type.”

“Any solution to this problem will require my utmost confidence in its safety before it is employed,” said Toriel. “And I am not one to risk lives.” She would have to include something like that in her inauguration speech.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” said Suzy. “You’re even taller than I thought!”

“It has its advantages!” said Toriel, lifting an arm to demonstrate the height of her reach. “To some, it makes me seem like a more far-sighted leader!”

“I think it’s just a manifestation of how much goodness there is in you,” said Alphys.

“And _are_ you a far-sighted leader?” asked Llewyn.

Toriel sighed. How could she tell? The future was beyond anyone’s sight. “I prefer to think that I am a principled leader. When time brings what it will, if we follow sound principles, we will almost certainly be better off in the end.”

“Good enough for me,” assented Llewyn. He was keeping his attention carefully on one side of the laboratory—presumably the disaster that had traumatized him several years prior had happened on the other side.

“I’ve been nervous all day,” Suzy admitted. “I was so excited to hear you were coming back from exile, but… does this mean I’m fired? Will I have to pack everything up and go back to the Core?”

Toriel had not even anticipated this question. “Of course not, dear one! I am quite happy with your work as Royal Scientist. You are young and will grow into the job.”

Suzy curled her tail, blushing even through fear. “But isn’t Alphys going to be Royal Scientist again, now that everyone knows she isn’t dead?”

Toriel grinned. “My dear one, Alphys will be dwelling in the castle!”

Suzy looked to Alphys and back with excitement. “She will? Are you making her Royal Adviser?”

“Not precisely,” said Toriel. To her surprise, she blushed and had to take a fresh breath before she could continue speaking, her grin not leaving her face. “She is to be Queen Consort. We are to be married.”

Oh, how the mouse could squeal! She covered her face with both hands and looked between the two of them in astonishment. “ _Really?_ ” Her tail danced and pushed against her back. “Oh, I’m so delighted to hear! The two of you are really getting married?”

Alphys joined the grinners’ club, standing tall. “We decided the morning Undyne attacked us, after she disappeared. Gerson got us talking about old age, and, without r-really thinking, I asked Tori if she’d be willing to nurse me in my old age, or if she’d rather not that would be totally okay, and I’d build a machine or something to do it instead, and she interrupted me and said that _of course_ she would nurse me, and I’d… and I’d never be less beautiful to her, no matter how faded and stiff I got, and I shouldn’t even think of such things, and I asked whether we should spend our lives together, and she turned to me and said—”

Toriel broke in and repeated her remark: “‘Doctor Alphys, are you saying what I think you are saying? Are you asking me to marry you?’”

Alphys giggled. “Y-y-yes! That’s what she said! And I said, ‘Um, I guess so!’ And bear in mind, this whole time we were trying on fancy clothes from her wardrobe and trying to get ready for the big confrontation with the royal army, so I had on this jacket with dangly lace sleeves, and she was wearing a black and white topcoat with like a million buttons…”

“They looked ridiculous,” cut in Llewyn.

“W-we may have looked a little ridiculous, but Toriel just gasped the prettiest gasp you could imagine, and she lifted me up, up, up in her arms, and she brought my nose right up in front of hers, and she said the prettiest thing—”

“‘Doctor Alphys,’” said Toriel, “‘it would be my honor.’”

“So there we were!” gushed Alphys. “Just like that, we were engaged, and now I’m going to be living in the palace, and this little—this little library shelver from Hotland is going to be a queen of the Underground, and I’ll get to have you in my life for as long as I live, and… Toriel, that morning, you just made my life! You just did it, right then and there. You made my life.”

Suzy pushed a storage crate over to Toriel, placed a box on top of that, clambered up and kissed her on the cheek. “I couldn’t be happier.”

They discussed their plans at some length. For a while, the conversation turned to Llewyn’s brave choice to come there, to the place he had once spent what felt like ‘a thousand years in limbo’, and where W. D. Gaster had been destroyed. He seemed uneasy, so they all tried to make him comfortable in their own ways… and then they discussed their plans for finding the human souls. Suzy had her plans for an ‘intelligent atmospheric DT cloud’, while Alphys had her own route stemming from research with the secret human she had been meeting with. Toriel still did not know who that human was, but she had come to accept that she did not have to. Alphys assured them the research had been productive, and that she had hopes of developing a ‘warm-and-cold’ detector for human souls based on the inherent magic they appeared to imbue in their prized possessions.

“It’s not just humans,” Alphys explained. “Monsters do it too! It’s described in some of our old books, but I don’t think it’s been scientifically quantified until now. The yellow cup Asgore gave me is more magical than any of our other cups because I care about it more. And likewise, the clothes Toriel’s children used to wear are more magical than newer clothes! Older things are more magical in general, aheh. All the dolls I gave the secret human came back a little more magical than they were before, but especially the one he kept around when he was… pretending to fly a helicopter? I think I can tell you that much? So that means in theory, all I have to do is develop a super-accurate way of measuring the magicality of some object and move it around through the atmosphere! If it’s closer to a soul, it should become magical faster than if it’s farther… and I’ll have to control somehow for the fact that living monsters are always moving around… but if I can, we’ll just have to play ‘warm and cold’ until we find where the missing souls are! Assuming they haven’t v-vanished entirely, that is.”

“But what then?” asked Toriel. “What good is it to find an invisible soul if it is not embodied?”

“W-well, in theory we can capture it in those containers Asgore used,” said Alphys. “Those were made by a royal scientist over eight hundred years ago, but they should still work! S-speaking of which… I think when the narrow-eyed ch… um, when Frisk calls again, we should offer to give them some of the containers. In case some of the old people they’re meeting, um, don’t make it… that way, maybe they can… store their souls for later?”

“Ooh, good idea!” said Suzy, clapping her hands. “Frisk can come through the barrier to collect the jars, and then we can do tests on them! Of course, the other way to go is just to have a monster absorb any soul we find. Then they could go out and… plead our cause.”

Toriel gave her an icy look. “You were about to suggest a rampage, were you not?”

Suzy sat back meekly. “The thing to keep in mind about me, your majesty, is… I’m not as horrible as I seem. I just really love ideas! Most of my ideas are just theoretical.”

“And some of them stay that way,” added her father.

“Speaking of horrible things,” said Suzy, “I wanted to remember to tell Alphys about a phone call I got yesterday from Mrs. Wolfman.”

This instantly put Alphys on edge. “What do you mean? Is Flipwhip okay?”

“No! Flipwhip is gone! And she doesn’t even know what happened.”

“Oh no! What do you mean, gone?”

“Just gone! It was in its sluice having an ice bath, and she left it alone for half an hour, and when she came back, it was gone! The window was shut and she said it wouldn’t even have known how to open it. No unusual behavior recently, nothing it was even upset about as far as she or her husband knew.”

“Oh gosh,” said Alphys, chewing her fingertip. “You don’t suppose…”

“Suppose what?” asked Suzy.

“I beg your pardon,” interjected Toriel, “but who is Flipwhip? One of the amalgamates?”

Alphys nodded nervously. “It was born from the Wolfmans’ son Bark, a Kitna, and a trio of Porceps. It didn’t talk… it just mainly flipped back and forth in its tub all the time. The Wolfmans agreed to look after it, e-even if they gave me a mouthful about my medical ethics.” She hung her head.

“And you think you know what might have happened?” asked Suzy.

Alphys looked awkwardly but meaningfully at Toriel. “I made a chart once of how much determination all the amalgamates had… Flipwhip was at the top.”

What was she saying? Had the poor creature’s determination somehow led to its…

Oh.

Toriel shut her mouth haplessly. She could not say what she was wondering: Had this amalgamate had the most determination of anyone left in the underground? Had it suddenly found itself in possession of the power to save, load and reset time? Had it chosen the latter option and subsequently vanished from existence, just as Undyne had?

That had been Sans’s secret, as it had turned out—the one he had stubbornly kept from her that afternoon over a year ago after she had discovered her son was still alive, after a fashion. It had also been Asgore’s great secret—the one she’d known well he had but that he never told her. (It was comforting that two great secrets had turned out to be one—it suggested a certain wholeness to the nature of truth.) In any realm of existence, of which the Underground was one, there will always be one creature more determined than any of the rest. Sometimes called ‘the savior’ or ‘The Undying’, this creature alone had the ability to replay time, as if God the creator of all things had determined that there must always be a way to fix the most grievous mistakes. King Donegan of the humans had been such a person aboveground; Asgore and Undyne and, yes, each of Toriel’s children had been such for the Underground. Any human visiting the Underground would become its ‘savior’, their determination was so much greater than that of monsters. Toriel was far from processing this secret, but it did explain a certain amount of Asgore’s behavior. Llewyn had been there to hear Sans’s explanation, but they had agreed not to tell others, including Suzy. Ostensibly she was too young to learn such a weighty secret, but Toriel suspected he was simply afraid she would look for some way to abuse it.

“I believe we should tell Sans,” Toriel suggested.

Alphys nodded fearfully.  
  


* * *

  
“so i hear you like stories,” said the bone monster.

Bones were the cobwebs of the body. They not only offered stabilization—they defined its stable form. Spiders had no bones, but they had webs, and so they respected bones likewise. Webs were the craft and art of spiders; in the same way, through bones, certain animals and monsters were the art and craft of Nature. Bearing this in mind, Arachnamate listened attentively to this bone creature who spoke of stories. Perhaps Nature had a story to tell through him.

“stories  
stories are  
stories are the  
stories are the salve  
stories are the salve of  
stories are the salve of the  
stories are the salve of the moving  
stories are the salve of the moving mind,” it said.

“you aren’t kidding,” said the bone monster in the darkness. “you wanna hear one? it’s not quite a true story, but it’s pretty important that you hear it just the same.”

“are the salve of the moving mind. Please  
the salve of the moving mind. Please proceed.”

Arachnamate’s room was a very large one by spider standards. Its brethren had been more than understanding. They knew that despite its tremendous size, it still felt the need to leap, to swing, to dangle, and yes, to spin, even if its mass was too great to permit traditional methods or patterns. They had given this pocket of the cavern previously used for storing bake sale ingredients. Arachnamate knew they would have liked to use that room for additional housing, given how crowded the Hotlands den was these days. But they had given it to their largest member instead. This was a favor that wrapped both ways—it had the space to live as spiders do, but also spent its hours alone. To a degree, Arachnamate would always be separate from the rest of the clan. The bone monster seemed to understand the weight of that fact as he edged around the room’s perimeter. He stood against the wall between two of Arachnamate’s projects, wrapping one skeletal hand around a strand of each, and leaned back. Arachnamate did not object—the visitor’s gentleness was apparent, and it did not fear for the integrity of its creations.

“there was a world once,” began the bone monster, “that had problems. it wasn’t a perfect world. the people there didn’t always get along, and they didn’t always think the same way, and sometimes that caused problems. sometimes the people in this world weren’t happy. but they had something amazing. they had the ability to imagine something better.”

Arachnamate settled its legs into a thinking position, more of a resting crouch than a pouncing one. The ‘world’ the bone monster described could be any conceivable world, including their own.

“this world had all the usual things. war. love. division. discovery. burgers and bad jokes. but it had kind of a weird quirk, too. there was a list, somewhere, of all the people in this world. there they were, from someone on the top to someone on the bottom. no one could actually see this list, but they knew it existed, for one simple reason.” He leaned forward, catching Arachnamate’s forward eyes with uncanny accuracy. “if the person on top of the list wanted to leave… they could.” He clicked—no, snapped—two phalanges together, cutting the air with sound. “then they were gone. and the next person on top had the same choice—stay or leave.”

How fascinating. “salve of the moving mind. Please proceed. But  
of the moving mind. Please proceed. But where  
the moving mind. Please proceed. But where did  
moving mind. Please proceed. But where did they  
mind. Please proceed. But where did they  
Please proceed. But where did they go to?” asked Arachnamate.

The bone monster shrugged. “who knows? they went somewhere, though. from their own point of view, there they were. maybe in a better place. maybe not. but they got to start new. away from the troubles of the life they knew, free to make their own troubles somewhere else. what do you think of that?”

Arachnamate rose slightly, lowering down supplemental legs behind itself. “proceed. But where did they go to? It  
*** ABSORBED *  
** But where did they go to? It would  
where did they go to? It would be  
did they go to? It would be a  
they go to? It would be a comfort  
go to? It would be a comfort to  
to? It would be a comfort to the  
It would be a comfort to the mind.”

“sure. don’t like the way things are going? you’ve always got an out. i can see it that way. i guess a lot of people can. but here’s the thing. one day, in this world, things took a sour turn. it started to look like folks weren’t going to be able to depend on each other, and the person at the top of the list split. so did the next person down, and the next. now usually, when this happened in the past, if the top few names on the list left, whoever was below them would be better off for it, and would stick around. but this time, the nature of the crisis didn’t work that way. the less leadership was left, the worse things looked for everyone. there was a panic. more and more people left the world, and soon half the world’s people were gone. then nine tenths. anyone who found themselves at the top of the list started thinking it’d be crazy if they stayed, and the folks around them confirmed it. so they left. eventually, there was just one person left in the world, and that person was lonely, and they decided to leave, too. but what happened then?”

Arachnamate stood somewhat, curious what the point of all this was, why the bone monster had asked Muffet specifically for the right to see it. “would be a comfort to the mind. I  
be a comfort to the mind. I imagine  
a comfort to the mind. I imagine the  
comfort to the mind. I imagine the world  
to the mind. I imagine the world was  
the mind. I imagine the world was left  
mind. I imagine the world was left empty.”

“yeah, maybe. but think about it. if a world loses its last person, and no one’s around to hear it, does it make a sound?”

Arachnamate turned its head sideways, closing its secondary eyes.

“what about all the folks who left to go be in their own worlds, with new versions of all their friends? what if the world they came from was what was rooting the whole thing? what if, now it’s empty, the whole thing goes ker-pop?” Again, those phalanges snapped ripely.

Arachnamate made an effort to narrow its vocal aperture. “I beelievve I unddersstand the nnaaature of yourr specullation,” it said. “But wwhat is the p-oint of this sstoryy?”

The bone monster crossed his arms. “the point is, that world is this one. the quirk i made up? i didn’t make it up. it’s real.” He pointed one of those formidable phalanges at Arachnamate. “and YOU… are on top of the list.”  
  


* * *

  
The sound of monsters gathering outside the castle walls was like rain before the weight of a storm. In a way, Toriel’s reign alone had really been more of a REIGNstorm. It had never stabilized, and while it had fed the thirst of the monsters for leadership, they had ended up with a renewed thirst for something else… human blood. Toriel hoped this time to truly quench their appetites. She would spend several minutes of her inaugural speech addressing the various plans already in motion for eventually bringing down the barrier. And she would pledge to address them each and every week thereafter, at ten o’clock sharp in the morning, with updates. Any phone calls her beloved child might make, any scientific breakthroughs from the Hotland lab or from the one Alphys would no doubt build somewhere in the castle… she would impart these to the monsters. So that they would have not just distant hope, but everpresent, and growing. A living hope. An excitement. Toriel felt truly excited at the reign she was about to begin and at the marriage she was about to undertake; she wanted to share this feeling with her entire realm. A hopeful monster is a strong monster, and a kingdom of strong subjects is a very strong kingdom indeed.

“Uh, yo… Your Majesty?”

Toriel looked up. She sat in her throne, which had once been Asgore’s throne; the other had been uncovered and was being resized for Alphys. There was a slight monster before the throne, reptilian and nervous, much like Toriel’s wife-to-be. But he was a mere child, and scrawny, and the feathered hat atop his head seemed too heavy to stay in place. Did he have arms within his shirt, or was that simple boon denied him? “Yes, child?”

The room was dark. The armored guards, 01 and 02, stood guard outside the doors, but they had chosen to let this boy in, for whatever reason. He approached, then thought better of it and bowed with an awkward little tail flourish. “Um… I don’t know if you know me, but… I’m the page? I mean, I was Undyne’s page, anyway, and I’m…. hoping I can be yours too?”

Such effort he put forth to disguise his fear. “I have no reason to put you out of a job,” said Toriel as reassuringly as she knew how. “If you are happy to serve me, I will be happy to have you. What is your name?”

Relief washed over the boy. He laughed just to let his nerves out and trotted closer. “Wow, it’s that easy? No… no interview or anything? I’m Eggy.”

“I know that Asgore did not keep a page in his final years. That would appear to make you the only person in the entire kingdom with experience in this position! If you are head and shoulders above the rest in your qualifications, why should I bother holding interviews?”

This made the boy unmistakably prouder in the way he held himself, but he was still nervous. “Well… haha… I guess that’s a good way to look at it. But, uh… full disclosure. I don’t have any arms.” He shook his upper body left and right, as if to showcase their absence. “That’s not… gonna be a problem, is it?”

Toriel sighed, smiling. A pageboy without arms was indeed a strange thing, but… “If you were able to perform your duties for Undyne without arms, I see no reason I should be a stickler about them.”

His smile grew a little brighter. He tossed his cap off and caught it in his teeth. “Ah c’n ‘old thingz in my deeth!” he explained, and then flipped the cap back on, rather lopsidedly.

“So I see! You have no need to convince me, Eggy—I will gladly keep you on!”

He grew more bashful. “There’s actually another thing. I… kind of asked you a question once. When you were giving your speech for the first time, way back last year… I was the kid in the audience who asked if you still counted as queen, after you left in the old days.”

Toriel did remember that question. It had not stirred anger in her, and did not presently. “It was a perfectly fair question. But as you saw on television, I am skilled at speed leadership, speech-giving and paintball warfare, and therefore I am eminently qualified to be queen. As you are no doubt aware, those are the vital skills necessary to rule a people.” She winked.

Thankfully, the child was either capable of comprehending her irony or did not question it. “Yo! That was so cool! You were great on TV. Don’t worry, I’m totally down for you being in charge of all the monsters… I think you’re great. It’s just…” He frowned, and on a face like his, a frown was a heartbreaking thing. “…What really happened to Undyne?” he suddenly begged. “They say she used some kind of magic no one knows about and disappeared, and my sister says she just got so angry she exploded, and can that really happen? And yo, some people say you killed her and ate her! And uh, that’s pretty cool I guess, but…” A tear fell from his face. “…but Undyne was my hero. You know? She was the one monster I could always look up to. She was where awesome lived. She was what I wanted to grow up to be. So… did you really eat her? If you did, I… yo, I hope you had a pretty good reason, or I might have to… I might just have to…”

To avenge her? “No, Eggy, I did not kill Undyne, nor did I eat her. I did anger her, but it was only by being myself—nothing more. I cannot tell you the whole story, child. I wish that I could, but some details are secret! Know that if I could have convinced Undyne to stay with us, I would have. But she was ready to go off on her own.” Toriel knelt down from her throne and opened her arms. “Undyne chose to leave, Eggy. I am sorry that she did not say goodbye. She was distracted by her emotions, but I am sure that she would have told you how sad she was to leave you, had she had the chance.”

He ran to her and hugged her. Somehow, though he had no arms, he hugged her, and she knew he would be her faithful servant. “Yo, uh… any chance she might ever come back?”

Toriel’s sadness was genuine. “To the best of my understanding, that is impossible. But I believe she has gone to a better place.”

She opened her arms and the child stepped back. For a while he was silent, taking this in.

She wished she could tell him what Sans had told her. Over the years, he had said, Asgore had lost his determination, bit by bit. When he had met Undyne as an urchin, he had recognized her as someone who would someday have determination exceeding his own. She would be the Undying someday, he knew. This had not happened upon Asgore’s death; it had happened long before—most likely in the feat of heroism that had cost Undyne her eye, but elevated her to captain of the guard. If Undyne had returned to the moment she gained her powers, it might well have been the moment of her greatest pain, but also her greatest triumph.

“I am sorry, Eggy. I know how it feels to lose a hero,” she said. “I had the same hero for most of my life, and then… one day, I turned around, and I had lost him.”

“Wow. Who was your hero?” the child asked.

Toriel felt a tear in the corner of her eye. “My husband.”

“Oh! I should have probably guessed. So, uh… how did you deal with it?”

“Not as well as you, dear child. I left him and went to live on my own for nearly a thousand years.”

He seemed embarrassed. “Oh yeah. Kind of… yo, like the world’s biggest hissy fit!”

She smiled sadly. “More like the world’s most enduring silent treatment. I regret that I never got a chance to tell him goodbye. But Eggy.” She put her hands on his shoulders. “He lives in me even now. Do you understand? I can still hear his voice, when I need to; I can still draw upon his guidance when I must. Our heroes never truly leave us. As long as we admire them, they remain with us. Just as Asgore still dwells with me, I know that Undyne still dwells with you.”

The boy’s eyes went wide with amazement. Then he buried his face in Toriel’s chest, rubbing affectionately. He stepped back and bowed, speechless.

“I hope you will be on hand for my inauguration! It will begin shortly,” said Toriel. “I may well need things delivered to me, or errands run.”

“Haha, Your Majesty. Of course I’ll be here! I’ll.. I’ll always be at your service!”

There. She had made a sound friend. This was a good start to Toriel’s reign. “You may wait outside, then. I think that my judge is waiting to tell me something.”

Sans stepped forward from the shadows. “you knew i was here?”

“I am starting to become accustomed to your ways, Sans. We did live together for over a year, after all!”

The child marveled at the skeleton’s sudden appearance. “Yo… that was awesome,” he murmured, before remembering himself and dashing out.

“he seems like a good kid. hope he isn’t too disappointed if you never bust any action moves.”

“He will have to learn that not everyone can be an action hero. I am likely to dispense with the royal trampoline, for instance.”

“you sure? it might give a ‘boost’ to your spirits.”

“You are hardly trying, Sans.”

“sorry. some days it’s a straddle to pike up the pace.”

Toriel raised an eyebrow. “Are those trampoline moves?”

“types of jumps, yeah.”

“Now you are trying too hard,” she ribbed.

He shrugged. “it’s a balance. feel ready for your speech?”

Toriel resettled herself on her throne. “Half of me is worried that it will be hijacked by an angry militia. But that is just recent experience speaking.”

“right. i’m sure at least eighty percent of speeches don’t finish that way.”

“My thoughts precisely. Did you come to tell me something?”

“yeah. i talked with arachnamate. we had a long, good talk. i think we’re good.”

A tension left Toriel that she had not realized she possessed. “Was Alphys correct? Is it really the monster remaining with the most determination?”

“yeah. i walked it through the idea of saves and loads, really cautiously, the way alphys told me. it saw the controls, like it was looking at a video game screen. and it made a save. it’s gonna make a new save every day after it gets the morning news and hears if things are okay. but it promised never to load unless it’s a real emergency. and it’s _never_ gonna reset. i didn’t even need to make it promise. it saw the need for someone to hold the line—someone mature and stable who’s got the ability to reset but doesn’t use it, so the underground doesn’t someday go empty. the ‘keeper of now’, it called it. it said it would be honored to be the ‘keeper of now’, and i judged it worthy. so that’s one disaster we don’t have to worry about.”

“Excellent. I am glad I have such an excellently qualified judge to deal with high-level existential crises like this one.”

“i’m with you to the end, tori. if they kick you out again, i’ll go with you again.”

She smiled at him. “You are truly a treasure, Sans. If I had not met Alphys, I wonder whether you and I would have wound up together!”

“we are together, tori. we’re just not together in the same way.”

“Is this how you would have things, Sans?”

“well, i wish my brother were here to cheer you on. but aside from that… you’re about to marry a lady you really love, and get back into doing what you’re really good at. and i get to help? tori, i wouldn’t have things any other way.”

The muffled sound of voices from outside the walls grow louder. Toriel guessed the ceremony was about to start; her guards would be summoning her at any moment.

“Knock knock,” she said, tightening her grip on her throne.

Sans paused for a tiny moment. “who’s there?”

“Toriel.”

He walked forward to stand beside her, still looking forward. “toriel who?”

She smiled. “Toriel Dreemurr, Queen of Monsters.”

He looked at her. “you’re taking your husband’s name back?”

“Yes,” she declared, knowing it was the right thing to do. “And that will have to stand in place of a punchline for now.”

The great doors opened; the royal guards stepped forward. “Like, Your Majesty! You’re on!”

Sans curled his fleshless fingers affectionately around her hand. “c’mon, tori. let’s knock some dreams into those crazy monsters.”

She stood and walked forward, her hand in his. “They will not know what hit them,” she declared.  
  


* * *

  
The inauguration was a marvel, with prayer and fanfare and banners and sparkles and a sublime moment of silence for Undyne, for Dogamy and Dogaressa, for Papyrus and Woshua and Asgore. Toriel’s speech was sprinkled with asides and sobs and even the occasional childish giggle, but it was well received, and while there were a few angry shouts of “Human-lover!” or the like, there was no angry mob. Gerson delivered a benediction full of embarrassing stories, and Toriel came down to give him a kiss “for being so gallant.” Napstablook formed a crown of tears on her head as an unplanned joke, and once the crowd had laughed it off, the nice cream vendor set the real crown upon her head. Then a spotlight shone on a theatrical castle in the MTT resort and a vision of loveliness became visible on the balcony. Well, to Toriel she was a vision of loveliness. She had not seen Alphys all day, in accordance with ancient tradition, nor had she ever seen her in this stunning red scale dress. While few might have considered the face or figure of the lizard within to be lovely, Toriel found her utterly so, in part because of the joy on that face—not girlish ebullience, but pure, elated joy for the future. And she had seen the improvement of that figure over the course of five seasons! Toriel let her face shine with unabashed love for her consort, and when the crowd saw the genuineness of her love, they could not help but love Alphys as well.

Sans, as the officiant, gave a short but sweet speech about the meaning of marriage as it related to ketchup and burgers. They exchanged vows with Toriel on her knees, and they were wedded and kissed in deep embrace. Alphys too was crowned, albeit with a more modest circlet, and Mettaton was master of ceremonies for the reception, with Shyren as featured singer and Napstablook as DJ. The entire Underground danced and sang and celebrated all night, and in a later phone call, Frisk said that some of their friends at the retirement home had spoken that day of an earthquake coming, or had complained of their bad hips or knees acting up, and they knew the human world had felt the dancing of the monsters. “Soon,” Frisk told her. “Soon, we’ll realize what we lost when we sealed you away. You’ll be free before you know it.” And they had blown Toriel a kiss.

Toriel took the throne as Queen Regnant, with Alphys beside her as Queen Consort. She visited schools and spoke of monster history, and Alphys came along to teach students and teachers about the power of roleplaying. Toriel came to be Eggy’s new hero in time; while he still spoke fondly of Undyne, he came to realize that there was great strength in Toriel’s gentleness and that her gentleness stemmed from true strength. After that, he never wavered in his devotion to her.

Toriel brought to an end her project of loving Alphys one body part at a time. As agreed, Toriel wrote love poems for Alphys, one or two a week (though they were more unmetered paeans than proper poems), and agreed, they saved her eyes for last. “My love’s eyes are large and round,” she wrote. “Their whites are prominent, as if to affirm how little science truly knows. Her pupils are small but sharp, as if to underscore the importance of that meager knowledge, and around each sits a thin iris of pale blue, easily missed at first. If the pupils are knowledge and the sclera the vast unknown, then the irises are intuition, that thin but special band of things that are _understood_ without being known. My love would not place much value in such a category, but, as with the beauty of her eyes, it is more far important to her than she has ever understood.”

She kept her promise to update the monsters each week on how plans to destroy the barrier were going, but into these updates crept a surprising thing—news of contact with humanity! The secret human known to Sans and Alphys went to the surface with a bagful of G’s and came back with bundles of modern technology, including sequels to all the monsters’ favorite movies that had washed in with the trash, and, perhaps more importantly, a bag of seeds well suited to the Underground. She did not disband the Royal Guard, but set most of them to planting gardens of low-light plants, for which they could wear a new gardening uniform Mettaton designed or opt to stick with their armor. Frisk came to visit the Underground, now that it was more or less safe, and for one of Toriel’s morning updates an audience of a thousand listened to their heartfelt apology. Toriel polled the monsters present—how many of you would be willing to lift this child’s life-debt to us? About a third indicated that they would. From then on, at the end of her update each week, Toriel would ask the same question—and slowly, the percentage rose. Half would lift the life-debt. Sixty percent. Two thirds. Her heart pounded with the hope that perhaps, just maybe, with enough persuasion, someday every single monster in the Underground would say yes, and her child would be able to feel free again.

In time, Sans set to working on the dark light machine again. Suzy Creamcheese joined him. They took the old croissant Sans had found in the castle’s garret and determined that, just as he suspected, it was the very one that had scattered Gaster to the etheric winds, stowed away in case someone might find it useful someday. They bombarded a variety of baked goods with various frequencies of dark light and emptied chambers of natural light, trying to figure out whether plants slept. They didn’t dare empty an entire room with themselves in it—that, they agreed, had been going too far—and with that promise, Llewyn and Alphys agreed to help the effort from time to time. Alphys had plenty to occupy her days, however—making morale-boosting trips around the Underground, creating new video games for monsterkind and sharing them for free on the Undernet, refining her methods for quantifying magic… she could sometimes be seen zipping around the upper reaches of Hotland and New Home with her jetpack, trying to hunt down the errant human souls with her newest ‘warm and cold’ prototype. “There goes the little queen again,” the monsters would murmur. But she also found time to finally make properly fermented chili bean paste for Toriel, who promptly baked it into a giant gordita and declared a banquet. The unofficial motto of the Kingdom of Monsters became: _In the end, there will always be pie._  
  


* * *

  
And then, one morning in the regal suite at the front of the castle, Toriel stood in front of her mirror putting on her robe… and her arm clicked. It was a subtle thing—something in her shoulder passed by her ribs and made a tiny jump it had never made before. It did not hurt, and her motion was unimpeded. She lowered her arm and raised it again in the same way. The click occurred again. She lowered her arm and raised it again, to the same result. She stretched her arms, rolling her head around, loosening her muscles. Again she lowered and raised her arm. Again came the tiny click.

She collapsed to her knees and began to cry.

Alphys pattered in from the next room. “Tori!”

Toriel wiped her eyes but could not stop crying. “Alphys.” She raised her arms to receive her wife and felt the tiny click once more. They hugged dearly, a preparatory step before she could even tell Alphys what was wrong.

“Tori, what’s wrong?” It was a plea— _please let it be nothing._

Toriel wished she could say it was nothing, that there was no need to fear. But her throat was filled with a lump she could not speak past. For some time, Alphys held and stroked her, as much of her as she could reach. “Oh, Tori. Can’t you tell me what’s happened? Can’t I help?” And when this failed to elicit an answer, she teased: “Don’t you love your Science Lizard?”

Toriel clutched Alphys around the ribcage. pressing tenderly. “Oh, Alphys. You are _so_ much more than a Science Lizard!” A cough, then a laugh. “Alphys, just now, I felt a twinge in my arm, when I raised it, that I have never felt before. It will not go away. I remember this feeling—the feeling of something strange about my body, something new. I remember it… from nine hundred years ago.”

Alphys stepped back and opened her eyes wide, trying to understand. “But Tori, a twinge isn’t so bad!”

“No, Alphys. But I fear that…” She shut her eyes, then opened them again. “…I fear that I am aging again. I had feared this might happen, but it did not seem… when Asgore died, he was still, in a sense, my husband. When I married him, I was thirty-five and my body ceased to age. I aged again for eleven years while Asriel lived… and then I stopped again. For the last nine centuries, I have had the body of a forty-six-year-old… but now!” She sobbed. “Now that I am unmarried in the eyes of magic, I think I am aging again!”

“But… but you’re married to _me!_ ” Alphys squealed.

“But we can never bear boss monsters,” wept Toriel. “So perhaps it does not matter. There have been so few of us over the years, we do not know all the rules! I had hoped… I had expected to remain immortal!”

Alphys, now, began to weep as well. They stroked each other, held each other, as if their mutual touch could prevent fear from enveloping either of them fully. “Maybe it’s not true. Maybe it’s just some… some kind of injury? Or… maybe we _can_ have boss monster babies, somehow. I used to dream of finding a way for two women to have children together… maybe there could even be a way to… direct the race of the child? I don’t know, Tori. I don’t want to—oh my god! If this is true… then you’ll probably…”

Toriel knew what she was thinking. “I am so sorry, Alphys. I will not be here to nurse you through old age after all. You will most likely outlive me.”

“ _Then I’ll nurse you!_ ” shouted Alphys.

They squeezed harder. If two people embraced fiercely enough, could all the tears be juiced from them? Would happiness remain?

“Sh-sh-should we tell the m-monsters?” asked Alphys. She stammered so seldom these days that it was striking whenever she did.

“We must be sure,” rasped Toriel. “If we are sure, then yes, we should tell them.”

“I don’t want you to die,” said Alphys. A statement so obvious, yet so profound.

“All creatures die in time,” Toriel managed to say. “We still have many happy decades together, even if it is true! Think of that!”

“B-but to you, a few decades won’t last long,” Alphys said.

Toriel laid her chin between two of her wife’s headspikes. “That is not true, Alphys. That is _not_ true. I am more alive than I can ever remember. These months that we are passing together… these will not fly. These are hearty months. They stick to the ribs! Alphys, if my life is to end with you at my side, it will have been a very full life… and the perspective of millennia will not change that.”

“I love you,” she cried, her hands flat against Toriel’s wool.

“That is what you do,” agreed Toriel. “And of all the things you do, my amazing one… of all the wondrous things you do, I think it is my favorite.”  
  


* * *

  
The moment they parted, the very moment they were able to tear themselves away from each other, Alphys ran down the hall and down the stairs. Toriel knew she was headed for the long, gray room she had set up as a laboratory past the coffin room. She suspected and feared why Alphys had gone there, but knew that it was a place of comfort for her. Toriel had her own places of comfort. The throne room, for one, and her cozy living room, and the little patch of sunlight at the far end of the world that she still made time to visit every so often. Her golden flowers, under which her second child was buried, still flourished there at the hands of the small monsters in whose care she had left them. The door to the Ruins was open now, but few had chosen to settle there, and few had chosen to leave. It was a place of oldness where things rarely changed. Whenever Toriel went there, she dared to hope that her first son might choose to emerge among the other flowers and finally, finally have the conversation with her she so desired. Oh, Asriel, speak to me! Speak to me before my days run out, before my heart beats its last! I need you, Asriel. You are where my motherhood began. You are the beginning of me, and you are my end. Speak to me.

When she awoke, she was in the coffin room. She lay on the floor, covered in soothing gray tears. Napstablook had been here.

She sat up. Somehow she could tell it was the middle of the night. The coffins were all empty now, the remains within having been buried in the earth according to her orders. But she kept these coffins, for they reminded her of Asgore, and humanity, and the barrier, and the fact that there was so much work yet to be done. They reminded her that she was a mother, a wife, and a queen. They reminded her of who she was.

Toriel turned toward her wife’s laboratory. It was silent. She walked inside and was surprised to find the swivel chair occupied: Alphys was lolling in it, asleep. She was so beautiful. Toriel went to her computer monitor and peeked at the screen.

PROJECT IMMORTALITY, it read. **ENTRY NUMBER ONE.**

Toriel closed her eyes and sniffled. She could not read another word.

 

* * *

  **  
** **** END OF PART 2 ****

* * *

**  
** A N D     A L S O     T H E     E N D     O F     A L P H Y S     A N D     T H E     Q U E E N ****

**** ( F O R     R E A L     T H I S     T I M E ) **  
**

* * *

**  
BUT HERE, YOU CAN HAVE ONE LAST BONUS SONG BEFORE YOU GO**

**Surface Dreamin'  
** (To “Wouldn't It Be Nice” by The Beach Boys)

[intro]

PAPYRUS:  
WOULDN’T IT BE NICE TO REACH THE SURFACE?  
GET TO SEE THE SUN AND WISH ON STARS…

ASGORE:  
And wouldn't it be nice to live with humans?  
Maybe we could start to heal the scars…

UNDYNE:  
Turns out Queen Toriel was in the ruins.  
She told the monsters not to hate the humans!  
(Yeah, right.)

ALPHYS:  
But wouldn't it be nice to see the surface—  
They’ve got lots of marvels there, I bet.  
Anything your monster mind imagines  
Is somewhere on the human internet!

UNDYNE:  
“King Asgore died today,” she sadly told them,  
“And all the human souls he had were stolen.”  
…But wouldn't it be nice?

PAPYRUS:  
I WANT TO DRIVE A SPORTY CAR AND FEEL THE WIND BLOW IN MY HAIR! (NYEH-HEH-HEH!)  
IT DOESN’T MATTER THAT I NEVER HAD A SINGLE STRAND OF HAIR.

ALPHYS:  
We would be merrier…

ALL:  
(We would be merrier…)

METTATON:  
If we broke the barrier…

ALL:  
(If we broke the barrier…)

ASGORE:  
Wouldn’t it be nice?

UNDYNE:  
It took them seven human souls to make it.  
We only needed one more soul to break it!  
Now we'll never break it!

TORIEL:  
But would it not be nice?

ALPHYS:  
Anime's real on the surface!

METTATON:  
Game shows are real on the surface!

ALPHYS:  
Anime's real on the surface!

METTATON:  
Game shows are real on the surface!

SANS:  
dogs can pet dogs on the surface!

BRATTY & CATTY:  
Cats can keep cats on the surface!

METTATON:  
Ghosts can perform on the surface!

TORIEL:  
Flowers are gold on the surface…!  
  


* * *

  
[global.fun = 47;  
room_goto(frisk.phonecall);]

**OUTPUT:**

FRISK: Alphys, the only thing I don’t understand is…

ALPHYS: Y-yes?

FRISK: …why did you pretend to call me to order pizza, and then send me a picture of a catgirl?

ALPHYS: Aheh! I was… trying to be funny? I wanted to impress you with how, um… w-witty I was.

FRISK: Sooo… is the joke that monsters eat cats on their pizzas? Or… that they eat humans? Or…

ALPHYS: What? No! It’s… it’s the idea that a catgirl is… so luscious that… she belongs on a pizza? Or… she’d be the sort of thing that… isn’t it funny that a person would try to… oh god! It’s not funny anymore if I try to explain it!

TORIEL: Is that something like the way a quantum wave function collapses if it is observed?

ALPHYS: What? No… No, it’s… (sigh) … yes. It’s exactly like that. My joke quantum-collapsed.

SANS: achievement unlocked, am i right?

**OKAY FOR REAL NOW THAT IS THE END**

[$$$$$$+++++++++++++++####+++++++++++++++++]

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is. The novel that’s been at the heart of my life for the last ten months—done at last!
> 
> And at over 200,000 words, it’s a pretty sizable novel! When I playfully typed up my speculations for how Queen Toriel might have met her royal scientist, I had no idea it could expand into a story anywhere near this length.
> 
> And yet, even having written forty-two chapters, I don’t want to leave this timeline. I feel like this is the best ending point, but I also feel a little guilty… as if Alphys and Toriel will no longer be together now that I’m finished writing. No one else has written this ship to my knowledge, and yet it felt to me like these two characters would fit perfectly together, and I wanted to share that feeling… even though I didn’t know from the start it would be a romance. Hopefully I’ve at least partly convinced a few people that they would be an amazing couple.
> 
> There are some similarities between this and my previous major project, _The Pony Who Lived Upstairs_, which you can find on ff.net or on fimfiction under the same username. They’re both lengthy fanfiction novels, released serially, for current fandoms with whimsical, childlike appeal. They both started out as drama and became romances when it felt natural. This work has 42 chapters, in part as a homage to Douglas Adams and in part because I wanted both parts to have the same number and breaking after the 21st chapter seemed natural, but also because my previous work had 24 chapters, and it felt cute to invert the digits. Also, both titles are plays on existing works that have almost nothing to do with the story: _The Horse Who Lived Upstairs_ and _Anna and the King._ Oh, and I wrote songs for both of them, though the ones in _Pony Upstairs_are originals and the ones here are parodies.
> 
> Additionally, they both suffer from chapter inflation, a failing I discovered in myself when writing my other pony stories, in which earlier chapters are notably shorter than later ones. Calling this chapter a scene is a bit of a joke, for instance, since it’s really a bunch of scenes—at some point I’ll probably go back and change the chapter titles to say “Chapter”. This may not be a terrible flaw, since readers may enjoy getting into a story with shorter chapter and then relish longer ones once they’re invested… but I am embarrassed that Part II has 132,000 words while Part I has only 71,000. All I can say is, sorry for the aesthetic imperfection! Maybe I’ll do better next time.
> 
> I love getting comments (especially long ones), and this fandom doesn’t seem to be as rife with commenters as My Little Pony, so if you’ve read through to the end, please let me know what you thought! What did my story mean to you? What moments grabbed or disappointed you the most? Were there any little details you especially appreciated? Thanks so much.
> 
> I’m planning to make one more update—a compendium of extras, as if this were a movie on Blu-ray. I’ll release it next weekend. It’ll include deleted scenes, unused ideas, commentary on subtle points, and three secrets hidden in the story. I’ll give you one last chance to find those secrets by listing the mysteries they correspond to:
> 
> 1) What is the meaning of the punctuation in brackets at the end of each chapter?
> 
> 2) What is the hidden significance of SCENE NUMBER SEVENTEEN? Gain additional sagacity through extra readings.
> 
> 3) What is the riverperson’s secret identity? This easter egg involved a popular culture reference.
> 
> Finally, Eggy’s realization about gentleness and strength is inspired by a quote by the Swiss bishop St. Francis de Sales.
> 
> In finem, non semper sit pastilli.


	43. Bonus Chapter: Extras and Commentary

 [+]

**Bonus Chapter: Extras and Commentary**

_or_

“Last Goodbye”  
  


* * *

 

  
Welcome to the Special Features section of the DVD that is this serialized novel! It was good for me to go back through what I wrote and revisit it, digest it, figure out which loose ends I never addressed and so forth. I’d expected to have a not-too-lengthy commentary with material from selected chapters, but I wound up writing a mammoth document with material from EVERY chapter, and, well, basically, we’ll put that last, and you totally don’t have to read it. You get full credit regardless. Thanks very much for being my readers during this exciting creative portion of my life! This was my main creative project for about eleven months, and with this last post, it finally ends.

What have I got for you today? I’ve got:

DELETED SCENES

UNUSED IDEAS

RIDDLE ANSWERS

BLOOPERS

and a

14,000-WORD AUTHOR’S COMMENTARY THAT I’M A LITTLE EMBARRASSED BY.

So let’s jump in!  
  


* * *

* * *

**  
DELETED SCENES**

Let’s start out with a juicy one. I wrote more material of Alphys and Toriel in bed than I could use. (lol) So here’s a scene originally intended for Chapter 40 that just didn’t fit.  
  


* * *

 

“Hey Tori? Why are your ears so long?” Alphys murmured in bed.

Toriel gave one of her rumbling, happy sighs. “The better to hear you with, dear one!”

Alphys tittered. “That’s—that’s a line from a fairy tale! You can’t fool me! No, really! Why are they so long?”

“A boss monster’s ears are always long,” said Toriel. “So that she can hear all in her domain.”

“But… but your hearing isn’t _that_ good,” argued Alphys, still in a murmur. She picked up the ear nearest to her and straightened it carefully with her fingers from one end to the other.

Toriel smiled a big, broad smile. “What are you doing with my ear, Doctor?”

“I’m—I’m just investigating it,” said Alphys.

“What about it are you investigating? Do you believe this is part of your duty as my royal scientist?”

“I just want—I’m just trying to investigate how beautiful it is! And yes, definitely, it’s part of my duties. What if your ear were… what if it were really beautiful and you never found out? That would be a disaster.”

“A disaster of truly epic scale,” deadpanned Toriel.

“Um… well maybe not that much of a disaster, but… um…” She held the ear out gently. “I’m—I’m going to kiss every part of your ear now, one inch at a time,” she announced. “Try to keep track of which kiss is the nicest.”

The smile grew bigger. “Are you performing science in bed with me, Doctor?”’

Alphys kissed and kissed and kissed. “Um… yes? I mean… someone has to do it, right? A person… a person like you can’t go ignored by science!” She kissed some more.

“I cannot? Why exactly, doctor, can science not give me my privacy?”

Alphys gaped, holding the ear between thumb and finger. “I-isn’t it obvious? Without i-i-investigating you, we’d miss so much! You have so many secrets… you’re a trove of them!”

Toriel laughed. “I do not have any secrets from you, doctor!”

Alphys shook her head. “You’re  _made_ of secrets! Your whole self is beautiful secrets! You may not be keeping them on purpose, but—but they’re there, and they’re wonderful, and I need—I need to extract them! I need to extract your secrets, one by one, and I need to kiss all of them to see which ones are the sweetest, and…” She broke down into giggles and went back to kissing Toriel’s ear. “Oh Tori, I love you so much it doesn’t make any sense!”

Her eye, watching Alphys as her ear was kissed, grew in size and tenderness. “Does love ever make sense, my dear one?”

Alphys hugged her around the neck. “I think it does! But I don’t know if I want it to! Or wait—maybe I got that backward.” She kissed Toriel all down her cheek, then folded her ear up over her head and kissed the inside of it, inch by inch.

Toriel bleated in surprise. “Are you kissing the  _inside_ of my ear?”

Alphys chuckled. “I guess—I guess we’ll have to remember that spot, huh?” And making a mental note on the finest mental paper, she went back to work.  
  


* * *

 

Heehee! That scene makes me laugh. Okay, next up is a bit of dinner conversation that was cut from Scene 29. I decided it made more sense for Sans to speak up about his new, warmer feelings regarding Alphys right away, instead of waiting until the time was ripe.  
  


* * *

 

“Bone appetit yourself,” said Toriel, grinning. She took an indulgently big bite and savored the snails in her mouth.

“Y-you really like snails, huh, Toriel?” observed Alphys.

The matriarch swallowed. “I do! I have always found them fascinating. When I lived on the surface, I was also fascinated by centipedes and crayfish, but of those, snails are what we have in the Underground, so they are where I directed my focus.”

“Wh-what’s a crayfish?” asked Alphys.

“Oh! I did not realize you would not know. It is not a true fish, but rather a relative of the crab. They live in freshwater brooks and swamps, and they breathe water through their gills. They are very cute when they rear up, but they are very swift swimmers when they snap their tails. They are also known as crawdads, or…” She smiled slyly. “…mudbugs.”

“heh,” said Sans. “mudbugs.”

Alphys sat up straight. “Do they have eyestalks, like lobsters?”

“They certainly do!” announced Toriel, as proud as if she were talking about her own kids.

“They sound nifty!” said Alphys. “I wish I could see one.”

“Perhaps someday, doctor. Perhaps you will.”

They ate and chatted about surface animals for a while.

“so i’ve been thinking,” said Sans.  
  


* * *

  
The next scene is a longer version of the one that I eventually incorporated into the start of Chapter 40, in which Alphys, Toriel, Gerson and Llewyn are waiting for Sans to return and chatting about how much older Toriel is than Alphys. This scene would have taken place between just the two of them in the Ruins, before Undyne learned that Alphys was still alive.  
  


* * *

 

“The more years you’ve lived… I mean, I think every year you’ve lived… makes you… each year of experience you have, I mean, makes you m-m-more appealing. If you told me you were only two thousand years old, I—I wouldn’t be as turned on as I am, knowing it’s actually almost _five_ thousand years.”

Toriel felt herself tingling. She leaned in earnestly. “And if I were to tell you that I was only fibbing, and that I am actually  _fifty_ thousand years old?”

Alphys trembled visibly. “Oh my God! You’re getting me so excited!!”

Toriel moved her face in, retaining her beneficent smile and steely eyes. “Five. Million. Years. Of age.”

Alphys shook heavily and opened her mouth in a huge gasp, a wheezy squeal emitting from her throat. “ _Uuuwaaaaahh!_ ”

Toriel extended her arms and drew Alphys in, giggling. “Oh, doctor! You are so very funny! I am only forty-nine hundred twenty-eight. But I find it absolutely adorable that you are more attracted to me, the older you think I am.”

Alphys slowly stilled; her tail slowly ceased slapping back and forth. “O-o-oh. Aheheh.” She hugged back. “You had me so turned on!”

“I am afraid I am not older than the caverns themselves. But there _is_ a good possibility that, if you live healthfully and wisely, you will live long enough to help me celebrate my five thousandth birthday!”

Alphys swallowed, thinking about this. Toriel instantly regretted making her contemplate her own mortality. But it was said now, and could not be unsaid.

“I—I’ll try, Tori! I’ll really really try. I’ll have to live to be a hundred… but I want to be there for you when you turn five thousand!”

Toriel rocked slowly left and right, holding her love in her arms. “No, Alphys. Please do not worry about it. So long as you remember how very much you are worth, I want you to live the life that you want to live. Regardless of how long it may last.”

Alphys sniffled, thinking of it. “I just don’t want to leave you alone someday.”

Toriel placed a kiss gently on each scaled cheek. “Let us not worry about that now, dear beloved. You are young and shining, and I am ageless, and we are in love. If we must dwell on something, can we dwell on that?”

“Yep! Yeah, lets… let’s dwell on that!” Alphys squeezed Toriel so hard that tears came out of her own eyes.  
  


* * *

  
And here’s a chilling little snippet related to Toriel’s immortality and how she fears it may reduce her ability to enjoy being married to a mortal monster:  
  


* * *

  
TORIEL: “As if I could blink, and you would be aged and changed. I blink again, and you are old and stumbling, though your love is still there. I blink again, and you are on your deathbed, saying goodbye. I try not to blink again, but I do, and now… you are in the past.”  
  


* * *

  
But instead of going in that direction, I had Toriel insist that any life lived with Alphys would be a full one and that these are “hearty months” that “stick to the ribs.”

Here’s a mysterious exchange I considered including in Scene 16, when Alphys chose to speak up and defend Toriel’s authenticity to the kingdom:  
  


* * *

  
From somewhere that was outside of place, a creature who had seen tens of thousands of worlds go by, and who had grown jaded from ceaselessly repeating patterns, behaviors and stories, watched with eyes wide and petals splayed. “Wow. I have  _never_ seen this before,” he remarked in astonishment.

“IT IS VERY INTERESTING,” said his distorted companion. “THE GREATEST DARKNESS IS FINALLY YIELDING ITS OWN UNIQUE COLORS.”  
  


* * *

  
Some readers found the penance party that Toriel and Alphys surprise Sans with at the end of Chapter 25 to be surreal and bizarre! Fair enough! So, as penance, I wrote up a dialogue to explain how it came to be. This scene takes place while Sans is out judging Empress Undyne.  
  


* * *

 

  
ALPHYS: So, uh... did Sans say what he had to gather his thoughts about? Er, what he was... what kind of thoughts he had to gather?  
  
TORIEL: ...I believe he is still upset with you. And perhaps with me, as well. Did your conversation go poorly? Sans would not tell me much about it.  
  
A: Oh. Yeah... he was really angry with me for a while, and he kept questioning me, and then he just... left it unfinished. Um... he said that was all he could take, and he... left.  
  
T: I see. I suppose that cannot have been very satisfying.  
  
A: I... I just want to make up for what I did. He's right. I am awful.  
  
T (hugging): I am sure you are not awful, doctor. When the space around your soul is dark, it can make you think you are made of nothing but darkness. But nothing could be further from the truth. I can see that you are good inside... even if you are not a perfect person. I have learned to find the goodness in myself when all I can feel is shame.  
  
A: You're... really wise, huh? B-but what can we do to get Sans to forgive us?  
  
T: We must offer our heartfelt apologies.  
  
A: Okay! And--and, um... do you think maybe we could... surprise him somehow?  
  
T: Surprise him? What do you mean?  
  
A: I mean, like... with a surprise party? For when he comes back? Just to let him know we care?  
  
T: ...I fear that he would not be in the mood for cake and balloons. But it is a good thought.  
  
A: W-well... not cake and balloons, then. Um—we could have... a—a penance party! Where we show how penitent we are and p-promise to do whatever he says to make things right?  
  
T (thinks): That is a rather intriguing idea. But what does one do at a penance party?  
  
A: Um... Well... maybe a lot of genuflecting? And chants of a-a-absolution?  
  
T: I could perhaps get some of the small monsters to chant for us... and I do have an exercise mat that I use for stretches.  
  
A: Then--then we just have to make a banner or something and rehearse for when he shows up! He's... he's going to be so impressed! We'll do whatever punishment he says.  
  
T: ...Whatever punishment? With no reservation?  
  
A (thinks): Nope. No reservation. I can't justify saying no. I can't speak for you, but this isn't s-something I can bargain away.  
  
T: Very well, Alphys. I will join you in your punishment, because as I see it, I am equally guilty. Shall we begin setting up?  
  
A: Um, well if you're done knitting that tiny shirt, then yes!  
  
T: It is crochet. And it is for a Froggit.  
  
A; Um... neat!  
  
(Toriel narrows her eyes. Alphys looks afraid. Then Toriel grins.)  
  
T: Very well! Perhaps we could bake a cake as well, just to be on the safe side.  
  
A: Um! C-c-could we make it look like Papyrus? To show that he's on our minds?  
  
T: But doctor, I do not know what he looks like!  
  
A: Oh! Um, that's okay. I've seen pictures of him. U-um... on the Undernet? In... costumes?  
  
T: Well, I will leave the creative direction to you.  
  
A: Okay! Well then... let's get started!  
  


* * *

  
So there you go. Hopefully it’s not weird at all now anymore!

Alphys starts working on a soul detector in Chapter 13 and still isn’t finished when the story ends, a year and a half later! Some projects are harder than others. So where  _did_ the human children’s souls go? Are they in some dimension that normal creatures can’t access? Do Alphys and Suzy even stand a chance with their plans to find them? I don’t know. But I did write this ominous journal entry at one point for eventual use…  
  


* * *

  
**ENTRY NUMBER 32:**

* I don’t know how to interpret this. The machine seems to have produced a negative result.

* I mean an actually negative result. The indicator reads “-1 human souls.”

* It seems to have detected a… place where a human soul should be, but isn’t?

* i don’t want to know what this is  
  


* * *

  
It’s Ziggy, Alphys! You’ve just tripped over something you weren’t looking for. Maybe it’s for the best the story never made it that far.

One reader requested an epilogue in which Frisk calls to leave a message letting Toriel know that they’ve found enough humans to break the barrier, and that this is goodbye. As I am a kind writer, I obliged:  
  


* * *

 _  
Brrrrrrrrring._  
  
 _Brrrrrrrrring._  
  
FRISK: Oh. You're still not there, huh? I was really hoping you'd be there this time. I've been trying all day. I'm almost ready to wait 'til tomorrow so I can say goodbye--I wanted to talk to you agian, Mom. I really--I really wanted to hear your voice again. (sniff) I wanted to hear what you had to say. You're really good at... knowing...  
  
(sniff)  
  
My real mom doesn't care much about me, you know. I don't think I ever said, but you probably guessed. My dad either. I'm just a thing they have, like a house or a car or a sleigh... they've got a kid. They don't really raise me. They just tell me stuff, but I have to raise myself. You actually wanted to raise me, Mom. I guess you weren't going to let me do much if I'd stayed with you, I don't know what my life would've been, but... at least I would've been there for it. And you... you would've been there for it too. I thought you were crazy when you said you wished you'd collapsed the tunnel and trapped us together, forever. It seemed like a terrible idea. But now it... now it doesn't seem quite so terrible.  
  
(sniff)  
  
I'm up here with everyone, Mom. I found six. Six old people whose lives are nearly over, and we're we're... we're about to do it, Mom. I was going... Going to have you tell everyone, and let them argue if they had to, but in the end...  
  
We got number six but no number seven. You were hoping I wouldn't be needed. But I'm needed, Mom, as it turns out. We're going to do the ritual and say the spell. We're going to break the barrier. You're about to be free, and I really hope that... by the time you get this message, it isn't already too-

(phone picks up with a click)  
  
PAPYRUS: HELLO? WHO DARES CALL THE GREAT PAPYRUS (ALBEIT THROUGH TORIEL'S PHONE FOR SOME REASON)?  
  
FRISK: What? Huh? I--Is that Papyrus? I thought you were dead!  
  
PAPYRUS: I BEG YOUR PARDON?? I WOULD NEVER BE DEAD--NOT WITH FRIENDS YET IN NEED OF MY SERVICES! I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD THAT WAY!  
  
FRISK: Um... okay, hold on...  
  
PAPYRUS: NOW, WHAT'S THIS I HEAR ABOUT A RITUAL? ARE YOU HOLDING A RITUAL BUT NOT INVITING ME??!  
  
FRISK: I don't understand. How can you be there? Where's Toriel?  
  
PAPYRUS: OH! TORIEL AND ALPHYS ARE OUT ROASTING ACORN COBS IN HOTLAND. MAY THE GREAT PAPYRUS TAKE A MESSAGE FOR THEM?  
  
FRISK: Uh... never mind. I don't know what to say, or do. This is so strange. You know what? I'm going to fall asleep and maybe Suzy can explain.  
  
PAPYRUS: THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCELLENT IDEA. CURL UP TIGHT, AND THIS WILL ALL MAKE SENSE IN THE MORNING! NYEH-HEH-HEH! ( I WONDER IF SUZY IS THE NAME THEY GAVE TO THE VOICE IN THEIR HEAD. MAYBE I SHOULD CONSIDER NAMING MINE!) (click)  
  
(TORIEL checks her phone's messages the next day, hears all of this, and frowns a very confounded frown.)  
  


* * *

  
Well okay, maybe I’m not  _that_ kind a writer.

Finally, let’s close with another bedroom scene I didn’t have room for.  
  


* * *

  
“Hey Toriel… could you roll over?” asked the sleepy voice.

Toriel’s palms were firmly planted over her lover’s back. “Roll over?” she murmured. “But we are so nicely settled.”

The lizard’s toes stroked idly over Toriel’s nethers, flipping over again to go back. “Okay, Tori. You don’t have to roll over.”

Toriel realized her partner’s aim. “You are only hoping to fondle my tail! Am I wrong?”

“W-well, I can’t reach it from on top of you,” Alphys breathed. “You’re so vast!”

Toriel hooted softly. “No woman likes to be called ‘vast,’ doctor!”

“B-but you are! You’re like a tremendous, fertile, undiscovered country… just waiting to be settled!” Her little fingers combed wonderingly through the wool of Toriel’s belly.

“You are too much! Now you are talking about ‘settling’ me?”

Alphys cooed like a pigeon, rubbing her cheek against Toriel’s bosom and sliding her foot into a deep recess. “I would  _love_ to settle you, Tori.”

Toriel laughed with embarrassment for the two of them. She massaged Alphys’s back with her own fingers. “That is not even a sensible thing to say!”

“What can I say, Your Majesty? Wh-when I’m with you, all the sense goes out of my head! But… at least I still have my senses. If anything, I have _more_ senses!”

This, if nothing else, triggered Toriel’s appetite for rich, shared experience. “Then I am pleased to open your mind to the hidden things of the world!”

“Oh, Tori… are you… are we… oh, my!”

Old she might be, but she could still move her body. Toriel cast her mind back to revisit her long experience with her husband in the royal suite. Alphys did not weigh her down as Asgore had, which was both a plus and a minus. As she pushed her hips into action, she resolved to focus on the advantages of her relative freedom.  
  


* * *

  
Ooh la la! All right, here’s a brief list of…  
  


* * *

* * *

 

**  
UNUSED IDEAS**

I had a large document of ideas, sorted into categories, for things I could make use of or have happen. I managed to include most of them in the story, and I’ve described a number of others in the commentary below. Here are the rest of the ideas I never made happen:

* Make use of the fact that technically, Undyne never actually exiled Toriel. (It was just assumed from context.)

* Toriel has a scandalous sock drawer! Maybe a scene in The Pursuit?

* Alphys admits to Toriel that she was afraid Toriel might have been planning to kill her when she she invited her over the second time. (I imagine that at some point she told her this and got a tender mix of sympathy and humor in return—I just never found a place for it.)

* The trio puts on a play for the small monsters of the Ruins or for Undyne… so cute! Or maybe Alphys and Toriel put on plays for Sans.

* Toriel plays a dating sim! Possibly Mew Mew Kissy Cutie.

* Frisk grows up to fall in love with Suzy.  
  


* * *

  
I’ve got no plans for a sequel, but maybe some of these ideas will find their way into one-shots—who knows! If anyone wants to write them, feel free.

Okay, it’s time for the moment you’ve been waiting for—  
  


* * *

* * *

**  
RIDDLE ANSWERS**

The answers to the three riddles I left you with last time! To refresh your memory, here they are…

1) What is the meaning of the punctuation in brackets at the end of each chapter?

2) What is the hidden significance of SCENE NUMBER SEVENTEEN?

3) What is the riverperson’s secret identity?

Okay, ready?  
  


* * *

 

_  
ANSWER TO #1:_

Some readers were curious about this early on. The number of punctuation marks inside the brackets is equal to the number of the chapter—that’s fairly obvious. So what do they mean? They reflect the viewpoint of the chapter. Each mark corresponds to a different character. Chapters with a single viewpoint character have only punctuation of that character’s type. If a chapter’s point of view is mixed, the symbols are laid out in proportion to the length of the respective sections. So for example, Scene 38: An Xmas to Remember had this ending ornament:

[**************==********++++++++++++++]

There are 22 asterisks to show that a little more than the first half is from Alphys’s point of view, interrupted by two equals signs to represent the brief omniscient section that describes the Xmas party, and then 14 plus signs to show that the rest of the chapter is from Toriel’s point of view.

Here’s a chart of symbols and characters in order of POV appearance.

TORIEL: +  
ALPHYS: *  
OMNISCIENT/OBJECTIVE: =  
GERSON: \/ (approximated in Scene 14 as a ^ for lack of space)  
GASTER: ?  
UNDYNE: %  
EGGY: ^  
SANS: &  
SUZY: ~  
METTATON: $  
ARACHNAMATE: #

What was the point of this? Eh, I dunno. I was just having fun. I guess I thought maybe I’d eventually make a puzzle based on it, or have some mysterious section whose point of view is unclear, but can be deduced from the ornament at the end. But I didn’t, and it was worth it anyway!  
  


* * *

_  
ANSWER TO # 2:_

Chapter 17 was a weird one, wasn’t it? All right, one last hint. A Little Patience Helps You Survive. Any ideas?

…

…

…

It’s Gaster talking, all right—that’s clear enough. But he’s talking on two levels at once. In addition to the weird stuff he’s literally saying, which includes a story about a suicidal Loox, he’s also talking about metaphysical theory.

It’s all a big acrostic! Take the first letter of each word and make words out of them, breaking to form a new word at the end of each sentence, and breaking to form a new sentence at the end of each paragraph. This is what you get:

“Life has four building blocks:

* Body

* Soul

* Essence

* Determination

These must be attempted in every combination. There may be a secret. If no secret is found. Remember it is always possible. To split the atom. ALPHYS.”

For example, Flowey is what happens when an entity has body, essence and determination, but no soul. Ghosts, I imagine, are soul plus essence with no body or determination. Asgore may believe that Mettaton is body plus soul with no essence and probably no determination… but in truth, he does have a secret essence. Dust is body alone. DT can be isolated and extracted. Ziggy/Chara is free-floating essence that hooks onto a soul and eventually, a body. And so forth. So, he’s saying, let’s try any combination we haven’t tried yet!

He’s talking to Alphys, so I imagine this is one of the dreams she has of him. Except it occurs in the middle of the big speech/coup scene, so we know she isn’t sleeping. It’s a mystery! This shows us an aspect of Gaster’s philosophy of life and science:  _everything_ can be broken down. Given what happened to him, a bit ironic, huh?

Oh, and when I suggested that you “Gain additional sagacity through extra readings,” that was a hint, because it’s an acrostic for “Gaster”.  
  


* * *

_  
ANSWER TO # 3:_

Who is the Riverperson? He’s secretly a human man from the surface, but what man? We know Gaster’s research on him transformed his mind beyond recognition, so we can’t look to his personality. But there are a few clues out there. Let’s assemble them!

* From Scene 25: He used to operate an elevator.

* From Scene 40: He was once “a statue’s pet.”

* From Scene 42: He enjoys “pretending to fly a helicopter”.

Does this sound familiar? The biggest clue is that in Scene 25, Sans twice calls him by his first name: Geldegarde.

Answer: The riverman is Mr. Monotoli from the SNES game Earthbound! This game, for which Toby Fox created a well known Halloween-themed ROM hack, is one of the biggest influences on Undertale, so I decided to put in an Easter egg referencing it.

Since he’s already an old man in Earthbound, the riverman must be pretty venerable by now! But it goes to show—Gaster is good at preserving things when he gets his hands on them.

Does this mean that the surface world in this story is actually the world of Earthbound? Well, no, it’s just a silly Easter egg. But I do imagine that the surface world of Undertale is similar to the real world, but not quite the same. And it’s worth noting that the beach scene in the true pacifist credits resembles the beach of Summers in Earthbound.  
  


* * *

* * *

**  
BLOOPERS**

Here are a few bits of raw footage from unused takes:  
  


* * *

  
ALPHYS: So, uh… hypothetically speaking. If you were… to go home to your family? Because you’re all better, or at least, as, uh, close to better as I can make you? Would you, uh, rather go back to the ice river, or to your other family in the Core?

SWIRL: water - = - metal

eCOR nruter oT + + - L o w s crubw ok holymoles#%

\\\||// sheet this ouch plug# \\\||//

//||\\\ water slipped bar soap non-skid $*@~^# //|\\\\\

…

ALPHYS: I’m… pretty sure that makes even less sense than your actual line.

SWIRL:

sorry geez i on bar soap

apology slipped a of

AUTHOR: Can we get the soap out of the tub, please? Thanks.  
  


* * *

  
METTATON:  _When_ she finds out, my dear Alphy. If she somehow hasn’t already. And I don’t honestly know! From what I hear, she’s the tender type, so perhaps she’ll forgive our softness toward a child lost in a strange world, on the argument that we didn’t know they had such a murderous nature. But that begs an important question, Alphys… Did you know that the child had already killed?

ALPHYS: Uh—

METTATON: DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT KNOW?

ALPHYS (stares, then cracks up)

METTATON: I shall take that as a no, darling.

ALPHYS (laughing): Yes! Yes, I did know! I saw the… sorry, sorry. You do that so dramatically!

METTATON: Have you  _met_ me?

ALPHYS: Let’s do it again. I won’t laugh!  
  


* * *

  
TORIEL: Thank you, Doctor. Can we agree, then, that the suspicion surrounding my identity is unwarranted? I will remind you all that Dr. Alphys worked for Asgore—I did not appoint her. Gerson of Waterfall has testified that he remembers me from the War of Monsters and Humans, and I remember him fondly too—he was one of my husband’s beloved poker pals. And if you would hear the queen of the frogs vouch for me, or the Legion of—oh drat, I fouled it up again.

UNDYNE: I’m just standing here getting angrier and angrier.

TORIEL (giggling): Queen of the frogs. As if they would abide by a monarchy!  _Is_ there even a Legion of Froggits?

AUTHOR: The real name is the Parliament of Amphibuity, so it’s been—

TORIEL: Oh goodness, are you serious? That is even worse.

UNDYNE: …Just staring a hole in your head every time you screw up this line.

TORIEL: That is all right. Your anger will be better if you let it simmer!  
  


* * *

  
UNDYNE: Oh, and page? Tell her there’s a chance she can keep her job. We might be able to work something out.

EGGY: Got it! Might be able to work out and keep her job. …Yo, that’s pretty cool if Alphys can keep her—

AUTHOR: Cut!

EGGY: Oh man, did I mess it up?

UNDYNE: You said “work out”.

DOGGO: But that’s the pun, isn’t it?

UNDYNE: It comes later, when he’s actually trying to remember…

EGGY: Sorry! Haha… sorry I’m such a turd all the time.

AUTHOR: It’s fine.

EGGY: I’m the turdiest at remembering my lines.

UNDYNE: Just turding it up constantly.

DOGGO: I’m a dog and I wouldn’t want to step in you.

GUARD 02:  _Ouch._

UNDYNE: No seriously, you’re really good for your age. When I was your age, I might have gotten half a sentence out before I started improvising.

EGGY: You don’t want me to start improvising! I’d be all… “Yo, don’t tell my parents I’m here!”

UNDYNE: What, working for me?

EGGY: Yeah, like they don’t want a bad influence on me and that’s what you are…

UNDYNE: You’ve got smart parents!

AUTHOR: Okay, we ready to go again?  
  


* * *

  
ALPHYS: I… I really wanted to be your friend. I wanted to tell you everything.

TORIEL: Perhaps you should think of your being here as the beginning of a new life. You may wish to imagine that you have been reborn, clean and fresh and naked, here in the catacombs. You have no—

ALPHYS (giggling): Oh God, Tori.

TORIEL: What?

ALPHYS: “Clean and fresh and naked”? It’s just “clean and fresh”.

TORIEL (blushing): Oh! I am so sorry!

AUTHOR: No problem. You want the line?

TORIEL: I believe I have the rest of the line. “You have no sins upon you, if you choose not to bear them. You are a good person, if that is what you decide to be. There does not need to be any ill will between us, doctor. I am willing to be your perfect—”

ALPHYS: Then why did you fire me?”

TORIEL: I beg your pardon?

ALPHYS: If you didn’t want any ill will, you shouldn’t have f-fired me from my job!

TORIEL: You cannot deny you were an irresponsible experi—

AUTHOR: What?

ALPHYS: She fired me from my job in real life and now I’m supposed to be fresh and naked in front of her.

TORIEL (giggling): You are ridiculous, Alphys.

AUTHOR: The naked part is from next chapter.

TORIEL: I know!

ALPHYS: We know. I’m just giving her grief. H-how am I supposed to fall in love with my boss who fired me?

TORIEL (showing off): Are you saying you do not want a piece of this?

ALPHYS: W-well, I’m not saying that isn’t a nice cut of goatflesh! I’m just saying, if Undyne finds out—

TORIEL:  _Goatflesh?!_

ALPHYS (laughing): You’re the prettiest barnyard animal I’ve ever met, Tori, but I’m already married to—

TORIEL (cracks up)  
  


* * *

  
SANS: … to your credit, you are the person you say you are. i was worried you might’ve chucked toriel out just so you could have power. but that wasn’t it at all.

UNDYNE: No. That wasn’t it! I never wanted to be in charge! I just REALLY DO HATE HUMANS THAT MUCH!! Okay, hold on, that was terrible.

AUTHOR: Want to do that again?

UNDYNE: I sounded like an… every time I do that line, I imagine the sound crew and camera crew are staring at me and thinking… who is this bitch?

SANS: i can see how it might be hard to play yourself, given that like half the production staff is human.

AUTHOR: Everyone? She’s just acting. She doesn’t mean it. Okay?

UNDYNE: Well, the makeup guy really is terrible. Okay, Bruce? I’m gonna think of you every time I do one of my ‘humans are bad’ lines, okay?

BRUCE: Okay.

AUTHOR: What’s wrong with Bruce?

UNDYNE: He doesn’t get me. Okay, hold on. “I REALLY DO HATE HUMANS THAT MUCH!!!”

SANS: i can dig it.

UNDYNE: All right, let’s do this.  
  


* * *

  
FRISK: I know. I’m sorry.

 SANS: and why him? if you were gonna snap and dust somebody, why him? undyne actually tried to kill you, like, for real. and instead of killing _her_ , you gave her water. muffet tried to feed you to her pet, and you _paid_ her for the privilege. toriel tried to keep you in the ruins, and you hugged her for trying. you had a whole humming concert with shyren. mettaton tried to kill you on television _four times._ an army of dogs tried to bring you down. all through the underground, monster after monster attacked you, and you didn’t lift a _finger_ against them. but somehow, out of all the monsters in the underground, out of everyone who stood in your way, the _one_ monster you chose to kill was a guy who went out of his way to design _puzzles_ he thought you’d like. a guy who _cooked_ for you. …

ALPHYS: Line?

SANS: line.

AUTHOR: “A guy who shut down his bridge of doom.”

SANS: bridge of doom, right. muffet and the pet, toriel and the ruins, shyren, mettaton, dogs, lift a finger, out of everyone, a guy who designed puzzles, cooked, bridge of doom… friend for life… everyone else gets mercy, he gets destroyed. got it.

ALPHYS: You have a good memory, Sans.

SANS: if that were true, i would’ve nailed this by now.

FRISK: I would never be able to manage a line like that.

TORIEL: But do you not have an even longer line in Scene 40?

FRISK: Don’t remind me. I’ve been practicing it every night.

ALPHYS: Did the bridge of doom even work?

SANS: we dunno, he never tried it. probably not.

FRISK: It was freaking terrifying, though.

TORIEL: I believe that was largely the point.

SANS: yeah, okay. so it worked.  
  


* * *

  
TORIEL: I am sure I do not know!

ALPHYS: Um! You, uh. You send  _carbon_ to it! You see, um… carbon and oxygen are friends. They’re really good friends! They get along as a pair, and th-that’s called carbon monoxide, but a carbon atom can  _also_ get along with twice as much oxygen and that’s called carbon  _di_ oxide, and that’s what a f-fire tends to produce! B-but! If you… if you blow air into the bottom of a fire, you f-force it to burn hotter down there, but when it burns hotter, the oxygen higher up gets burned up faster, and… and there isn’t as much oxygen anymore… and then… and then some of the carbon doesn’t have  _any_ oxygen to keep it company… so it… so it gets really desperate… and it… it starts taking out personal ads in the paper… and it goes b-barhopping, looking for some free diatomic oxygen molecules.. and it—

TORIEL: This is not how the line goes.

ALPHYS: I know, but I forgot a piece, and I’m improvising!

TORIEL: I was ninety-five percent sure that was not how the line went.

ALPHYS: And then the fire produces more carbon monoxide than dioxide. That’s the part I missed!

TORIEL: I would like to hear more about the love life of oxygen.

ALPHYS: I—I was talking about the love life of carbon, technically. But carbon is a swinger! L-like me! It’s the swinger of the elements.

TORIEL: Oh Alphys!

ALPHYS: We should go ask Undyne and Asgore if they w-want a foursome, and we can all dress up like molecules…

TORIEL (stares)

ALPHYS: S-sorry. That was… that was over the line, wasn’t it? I’ll get back to the script.  
  


* * *

  
TORIEL: How delightful! The only people who ever call me are human children.

ALPHYS: It’s, um. It’s definitely not Undyne. It’s… (answers imaginary phone) Hello? …Oh! It’s one of my patients! I—I mean, it’s one of my patients’… families? Uh, I mean, it’s… it’s a  _member_ of one of my patients’ families. Hello, Mr.… (cracks up)

TORIEL (cracking up): You will need to do that more convincingly.

ALPHYS: Sorry.

AUTHOR: But not too convincingly, ‘cause it should be clear you’re just pretending.

TORIEL: She is pretending to pretend.

ALPHYS: Well, r-really, I’m pretending to pretend to pretend.

TORIEL (crossing eyes): Yes, that is correct.

SANS: i think the problem is the imaginary phone.

ALPHYS: He’s right! W-we need a new imaginary phone.

AUTHOR: Hey Terry? Can we get a new imaginary phone from props?

TERRY: Sure.

TORIEL: You are sending them to get us a new thing that does not exist?

ALPHYS: Hey Toriel… you should see your face right now.

TORIEL: …

SANS: hey terry, go bring us the hand mirror while you’re at it.  
  


* * *

  
UNDYNE: If it weren’t for that… If it weren’t for that…!

METTATON: The truth is, you have no idea what would have happened. That was nine hundred years ago, Empress. That was a relationship you were never part of. Can you really sentence a woman to death based in part on a messy break-up that happened before your grandparents’ grandparents were a twinkle in their grandparents’… blast.

UNDYNE: Yes. Yes, I can and I do sentence her to death. I sentence her to so much death.

METTATON: That line is like a tongue twister.

UNDYNE: I’M HOLDING THE WORLD’S BIGGEST GRUDGE AND I SENTENCE TORIEL TO DEATH! AND ALL HER GRANDPARENTS’ GRANDPARENTS!

METTATON (snickering): I doubt many of them are still alive.

UNDYNE: Oh. Well good. That saves us trouble.  
  


* * *

  
ALPHYS: So there we were! Just like that, we were engaged, and now I’m going to be living in the castle, and this little—this little library shelver from Hotland is going to be a queen of the Underground, and I’ll get to have you in my life for as long as I live, and… Toriel, that morning, you just made my life! You just did it, right then and there. You made my life.

SUZY (pushes a crate over to Toriel, places a box on it, steps up on the crate and puts her foot through the box, slipping and collapsing against Toriel’s legs)

TORIEL (cracking up): Oh goodness!

SUZY: Ow! Sorry. That is  _not_ as easy as it looks.

TORIEL: Are you all right?

LLEWYN: She’s fine. She could fall out of a tree and be all right.

ALPHYS: Are… are you happy about our marriage, Suzy?

SUZY (struggling on the floor with a broken box around her leg): I couldn’t be happier. Hold on, let me get up and kiss you.

ALPHYS: Don’t you want to kiss Toriel instead?

SUZY: She’s too tall! I’ll stick with you.

TORIEL: I am sorry for being too tall to kiss! You may kiss my knee if you prefer.

SUZY: Can I just kiss her knee?

AUTHOR: Let’s get a new box.

ALPHYS: Hold on, I have to spend a year sneaking glances of Tori’s knees whenever I can, but Suzy just gets to kiss one without earning it?

TORIEL: That is true. It would not be fair for me to let you kiss my knee, Suzy! You will have to climb a mountain of props in order to reach my face.

SUZY: I feel like a mountain climber.

TORIEL: Are you calling me mountainous?

SUZY: Well, you are kind of a big lady.

TORIEL: I would bend down to give you a kiss, but I could not possibly bend far enough to reach you! If you were a hole, you would probably be taller.

SUZY: Dang.

ALPHYS: Wow, Tori. Burn!

TORIEL: I am only kidding. Kisses for everyone! (kisses Suzy)

ALPHYS: Awww! One, please?  
  


* * *

  
Okay, I think that’s (more than) enough of that silliness. On to the last promised item…  
  


* * *

* * *

**  
COMMENTARY**

Last but not least, here’s the gigantic commentary I promised, sorted chapter by chapter! The things it references are in order within each chapter. We’ll go back to the beginning and start with…  
  


* * *

**  
PART I**

Chapter 1!

The storytellers mentioned in the intro are the folks who tell you the story of Asriel in Asgore’s house. I refer to them as the Rememberers in Chapter 37. No, they don’t live there full time—they get called up with some kind of alarm system if someone is getting close to the elevator in the castle!

The intro mentions the captain of the guard going home to complain about everything to her neighbor. Her neighbor is, of course, Napstablook, which explains how Napstablook heard about all this going into the rest of the chapter.

Toriel’s book is a sequel to 72 Snail Facts called 1001 Snail Facts. Emma once began making an illustrated copy of this book and Toriel still keeps it in a closet.

At this time in Toriel’s life, Napstablook and the talkative rock are the only friends of any importance she ever sees in person. She gets along well in general with the small monsters and the spiders, but has no close specific relationships with any of them. She isn’t aware of the ghost currently possessing her training dummy. She relishes her pen pals (mainly Muffet and Shyren) and her doorpal (Sans), and chats with the rock when she passes by, but for the most part has to make do with the ghost for in-person friendship, which you would think would be rather unsatisfying, given their personality… but if you have enough interpersonal experience, you can get something from friendships with anyone. And Toriel realizes that beggars cannot be choosers.

In this novel, I used ‘catacombs’ to refer to the part of the game you pass through on your way to Toriel’s house, and ‘the Ruins’ to refer to everyplace in Toriel’s realm, including the city of Home.

Napstablook thinks of basically anyone who was willing to lie on the floor and feel like trash with them as an ‘ex’. Until they realize that’s pathetic and feel ashamed.

 

Chapter 2!

Napstablook has now been called ‘dude!’ after calling themselves a drama queen in the previous chapter. The character gives off a very male vibe to me, but I decided that Undertale ghosts are genderless and sexless, which explains to some degree how Mettaton can seem so different in his diaries, in robot form and in EX form—he’s transgender and pretty complex on the inside.

For some reason, I gave Undyne the curse-word ‘pockey’, even though she also swears by stars and with traditional profanity and other stuff too. I had a little trouble dealing with curse-words in the Undertale universe, because I don’t think anyone in the game does any cursing. Except maybe for a ‘crap’ or two?

The “funny little guy who comes around sometimes” is Sans. As the judge, he kept a low profile but let himself be seen now and then.

At the end of the chapter, I referenced Senator Ted Stevens’s notorious quote calling the internet “a series of tubes.”

I wonder how many readers may have been turned off by the first two chapters. They feel kind of weak to me, even though I revised them several times.

 

Chapter 3!

The idea of Toriel meeting Alphys using a cascade of communication methods in order to (theoretically) set her at ease was the catalyst that led to this whole novel.

_Ningyo no jōnetsu:_ Japanese for  _Mermaid of Passion?_ I made up this anime name and imagine it’s about mermaid politics and romance.

Asgore talked about his ex-wife with a few close friends like Undyne, I imagine, but never developed a sufficiently close relationship with Alphys to go into much depth with her.

Fermented bean paste is a common East Asian food and I figured it would fit Alphys’s love of anime, manga and ramen if she liked it.

 

Chapter 4!

Grillby’s text is sort of logical in some ways. I think it’s more or less clear what he says. I wanted to resemble the crackle of fire, so I limited myself to certain punctuation marks, largely eschewing the ones above the numbers typically used to represent swear words.

Commas sort of represent questions, I think? And there are some eye-con-style faces in there… ‘-.-’ may be the human and ‘~-~’ may be Grillby himself. The only definite image I put in there was ‘[[]]-<o’ to mean Mettaton.

 

Chapter 5!

I regret never finding a place to refer again to Alphys’s blue suit that she wears in this chapter. I tried, but noplace seemed natural.

Unslugs and Kitnas are monster types I made up, since the ones we know about didn’t seem quite adequate. This opened the door for me to make up a few others later in the story. If slugs leave a trail of slime, Unslugs clean slime up… and Kitnas are sharp, knife-like creatures whose name is based on ‘kitana’.

It’s not clear how big Toriel’s hands are supposed to be, but I took a cue from her hand attack and decided they’re big, with thick fingers that lie together cutely.

Alphys is really nervous during this dinner, but Toriel is maybe half as nervous herself. She really wants to find an ally for her transition to power, and is hoping Alphys can be it. Moreover, she has a daydream of being able to schedule regular luncheons with her royal scientist and discuss the priorities of the kingdom and the mysteries of the world over good food and tea. She imagines that these meals with Alphys may become an anticipated diversion from her royal duties, and perhaps that they may become good personal friends as well. When they meet, Toriel immediately takes to Alphys, and is thus deeply disappointed by Alphys’s lack of trust at the end of the encounter. She doesn’t for a moment imagine that she’s meeting her future wife, though—Alphys even less so.

It may look like I went out of my way to make the ‘umami’ pun. But I didn’t! It just kind of happened, which makes me happy. :)

The gordita doesn’t have any meat in it, though one normally would. I imagine that the burgers are fake and they don’t eat meat in the Underground aside from snails and insects… although there  _is_ that fishing rod…

I guess Mettaton never introduced Alphys to Napstablook in this story. That’s kind of sad! They could have watched cartoons together.

Maybe now that Alphys is back in the public eye at the end of the story, she can finally have that giant, quiet kingdomwide sleepover she kind of didn’t really want.

“I expect… I expect you really are the queen, and I’ll be able to tell you everything, and we’ll laugh about this. Ha ha!” Oh, Alphys… you have no idea how right you are, on all counts.

 

Chapter 6!

At the beginning, Swirl is talking about how it feels lonely, and has lost some of its mind, and is hoping to recoup the cogency it once had. Alphys only sort of grasps this.

When Arachnamate sings, it sometimes shifts its dialogue by only one letter per line. Normally, though, it shifts it by a word per line. The general rule is that when a sentence at the beginning of its sentence disappears before the end of the new sentence it’s formed, the old sentence is absorbed into the whole, somehow, and the word  **** ABSORBED **** is used, which refers to what happens if you try to fight the amalgamates in the game.

Swirl is made from Swirms and Breedles, two monster types I made up. Simply enough, Swirms are squirmy water worms, and Breedles are wall beetles that breed profligately.

When Swirl enters its bath, it’s just talking about how much it likes bathing in warm water, which relaxes it and allows contaminants to be scratched from its body.

After that, when Alphys asks if it wants to return to the river or the Core, it gets really confusing:

“water - = - metal” Swirl finds itself torn between the river and Core as if it’s a rope pulled in two directions.

“emoh nruter oT + + - L o w s a l i n i t y” The first part is “To return home” backwards, which must mean the Core on some level. The plus signs are near the part which is presumably _high_ salinity, and therefore attracts water and things in it via osmosis. The purity and diffuse nature of the river is weighed against these on the right.

“\\\||// I definitely to to river so I be my \\\||//

//||\\\ would prefer return the Core so can with family //|\\\\\”

This spells out a preference, but it is ambiguous whether it is for the Core or the river. The shape is being pulled in many directions at once.

“MeCONmoFUSryION *x*” This is the words “Memory” and “CONFUSION” intertwined, and ‘*x*’ may be a kiss, or may represent the unknown.

Arachnamate’s story of Arachne is, naturally, inspired by the corresponding Greek myth, in which Arachne is not a spider made ugly, but a human weaver turned into a spider. Both heroines are transformed for hubris, and both stories purport to explain the origin of the modern spider.

 

Chapter 7!

Interesting that Undyne is able to see Toriel as a “soft fluffy pushover” here and later as a “devil queen” of “pure evil”. But her mind is as limber as her body.

A lot of writers make Gaster the father of the skelebros. I made him their grandfather in order to put more distance between them, so that Alphys could feasibly have seen the human kill Papyrus and still chosen to work with them. She has a vague sense that Papyrus may have been Gaster’s grandson, but probably would have known if he’d been his son, and that would have been a dealbreaker for her; she would have stopped the human instead of identifying with their journey.

Some were surprised by the fact I had Alphys recall Gaster at all. To them, Goner Kid’s statement about the world going on without you implies that Gaster has been removed from time, including his memory—an interpretation consistent with the fact that he only shows up in hidden ways. But I didn’t see it this way, and just made him the victim of a famous accident. If no one remembered him, after all, who did they think was Royal Scientist during his term, and who did they think built the Core?

I’m not sure I can justify the monsters having corn flakes. But they have corn in Undertale Yellow, so… (shrug)

 

Chapter 8!

Toriel says of her children: “Each of them desired freedom. Some simply wanted to find their way home, so that they could return to the lives and families they had known. One had a quest to fulfill. One… simply came to hate me.” Horace, the purple soul, was the quester; he wanted to record the habits and nature of all the monsters so that he could describe them to humanity. Mickey, the yellow soul, was the one who hated her, as he resented her motherly restrictions and came to believe that she unjustly controlled the Ruins.

What exactly does the Judge do? Sans doesn’t really give a full answer, here or ever. Well, he serves as an emergency gatekeeper for the monarch, certainly. And perhaps he presides over criminal cases. But I see the position as kind of a ‘big stuff troubleshooter’. When it comes to important stuff like revolution, time manipulation and monster-human relations, the Judge tries to keep things from going too foul. He fixes things up behind the scenes, and thanks to his grandfather’s training, Sans is really good at that.

How does he perform his judgments? He doesn’t want to say. I think that’s partly because it’s not as mystical a process as it looks like. He uses his intuition and he carefully reads facial expressions, a skill he’s very adept at. He’s also decent at psychology, and he just wraps all that up and calls it a judgment. So why the three bells that I decided to make a thing out of? I figure they were an enchantment associated with the position that was created by some Royal Magician or the like a long time ago, probably before the monsters were driven underground.

 

Chapter 9!

Asgore was very impressed at how Alphys created a robot with a soul—she didn’t tell him Mettaton was really a ghost in a metal body, and he never found out. But that meant that when he asked her how she did it, she wasn’t ever able to give him a straight answer—she had to waffle and make up pseudoscience to explain it. This is part of why their relationship never got very far, despite Alphys’s crush. The mess with the amalgamates and Asgore’s own chronic depression also contributed to the distance between them.

The fact that VHS existed when Toriel was pregnant with Asriel in (presumably) 200X is evidence for a short timeline. Obsolescent human technology was coming in via the trash, so it’s understandable they would have a camcorder and VHS tapes at this time, assuming the calendar parallels real life. But as I wrote elsewhere, the long timeline felt more natural to me in terms of monsters’ attitudes, and I also liked the grandeur of it, so I just said screw it and poked fun at the long timeline with this chapter’s title. It’s circa 2900 on the surface, but they’re still making DVDs, so it seems. Well, there’s a lot to be said for backwards compatibility! In any case, I don’t consider Undertale to be be taking place in the real world, precisely, although the surface world may be similar to ours, in that it has a Japan analogue, for example. Maybe it’s something like the world of the Mother games, a major inspiration for it.

_Flower Saga Radiant_ is made up too, of course. I imagine it to be about people growing up in an intrigue-packed royal court in some kingdom full of flowers, factions, and secret magics.

 

Chapter 10!

I originally wrote this from an objective point of view, then decided to punch it up a little by getting inside Gerson’s head. I think it’s a bit weak, though. He may be a little out of the loop these days, but Gerson is complex and should have a bit more going on in his mind than what I wrote.

In case it isn’t clear, Undyne pulled the thing about Heats Flamesman seeking the throne out of her butt. She wanted to make the competition sound minimal so Gerson would back her up instead of favoring a legitimate claimant like Toriel. Admittedly she may not have thought this through all the way, but it was a snap decision. As for Heats, he just wants to be court jester for whoever takes over. He has  _so_ many riddles to ask.

 

Chapter 11!

“Splendiferous” is a word I picked up from Calvin & Hobbes. I used to have a website that used it in the title. It appears in the last chapter of the story too, in Mettaton’s mouth.

Why did I make Mettaton a calculating plotter, a connoisseur of intrigue? Idunno. It’s fun, isn’t it?

Why did I have Frisk kill exactly Papyrus and Woshua? Well, I wanted to have a major character aside from Asgore killed in the neutral run, and Papyrus was the one I had the least interest in. I do kind of want to try writing him, and I like some fan depictions of him, but I never really connected with him like some players do. I wanted there to be another kill just to flesh out neutral Frisk’s resume. It couldn’t be someone from before Papyrus or Sans wouldn’t have let them play, and it couldn’t be someone after Alphys or she would have gotten upset about it, so it had to be a monster in Waterfall. I basically just picked Woshua at random.

Someone pointed out that if Mettaton had taken Frisk’s soul and gone to the surface, he wouldn’t have been in any danger because the human soul would make him very powerful. I didn’t think of that at the time, but we can just assume he would have preferred to at least pretend he was relying on his charm to make him famous, and downplayed any power the soul would give him. It’s also possible that without any actual monster matter in his body, it wouldn’t strengthen him the same way.

 

Chapter 12!

Undyne has convinced herself (with Alphys’s help) that Toriel doesn’t deserve the throne even if she is genuine, so in this chapter, she just outright lies about her investigation.

“And yes… I will tell them that in time, I intend to disband the Royal Guard. A well run civilization does _not_ need protection from itself.” Oh, Toriel, you’re so amazingly, disturbingly idealistic!

 

Chapter 13!

All the alternate chapter titles are either the names of songs from the soundtrack or variants thereupon. I think this chapter’s alternate title—“Wrong Enemy !?”—may be my favorite of them all.

The first of many of Alphys’s journal entries! I followed the general format of the entries we see in the true lab, but I made them longer, because yay for story and story is made of words! I strictly limited each entry to a maximum of six bullet points, though. And I used asterisks for bullets because I find actual bullet points to be headaches to work with.

Are you going to answer the phone or not, Alphys? You’re right to worry—it’s a decision that will determine the course of your life.

ENTRY NUMBER 2 is literally just “* Off to visit with the queen!”

The dog Alphys meets is Lesser Dog, not the Annoying Dog. The Annoying Dog does not appear in this novel.

At some point, I have to imagine Alphys told Toriel that she feared Toriel just might murder her during this meeting. I tried to find a place to work it in later on, but it just never quite fit. Alphys is terrified of Toriel in this scene. Try whispering to her, “In a year and a quarter, you’ll be married to this woman.” See what kind of expression she gives you!

 

Chapter 14!

I open with a little joke about the all-caps words in the game, most of which I decapitalized for this story.

I actually did web research on punk culture for the tiny exchange with the punk hamster. How silly is that?

The stuttering rabbit character I use here (and later identify as Bettina) may not actually be a disembodied head, but just a patron with their head plopped drunkenly on the table. But since we do meet a disembodied head later in the game (the puzzle explainer in Hotland), it seemed reasonable.

It was a little painful to write a character as unreasonable and abusive as Ferdiblook, the mad dummy. I don’t usually take to it, but as this ghost was a caricature of unreasonableness, it was kind of fun.

It was fun writing the Temmie and I wish I’d had an excuse to do more with her.

The fact that Flipwhip is the most determined amalgamate and Arachnamate is second, referred to in the final chapter, is given in ENTRY 8 of this chapter. Flipwhip is the amalgamate you see in the bathroom behind the curtain, whipping back and forth in what was for me one of the scariest moments of the game.

Why are there upside-down ‘M’s on Mettaton’s sign instead of ‘W’s? Well, he has a lot of ‘M’s lying around because he likes making his initial big on signs.

Asgore’s funeral happened offscreen before Toriel found out about his death. I think Gerson officiated. For that matter, Papyrus had a funeral at some point, too, but Sans kept it short and sweet.

I imagine that Glyde’s voice sounds like he’s always talking through a megaphone.

So Sorry seemed like a kangaroo dragon to me, so that’s what I went with. Looking at Samael’s FA page, I guess he’s actually a… butterdragon? So there you go. Makes me feel better about smothering him in peanut butter.

Alphys invented the colored tile puzzle during her homemade dungeon RPG phase as a teenager, and later showed it to Mettaton during one of their ‘fanclub meetings’. He appropriated it for his show and now Alphys is mildly embarrassed by it.

 

Chapter 15!

I’m pretty proud of my metaphor for science as the building of houses against the swamp, and working alone without revealing your findings as building a narrow, tall house.

 

Chapter 16!

I think it’s Gerson who says that Toriel used to wear a floral muumuu. What better time to wear one again than the beginning of a new reign!

Toriel: “She had wanted Alphys to be with her in this struggle. But the scientist had at least been conflicted, and it touched Toriel that even though Alphys was  _not_ on her side, she had  _still_ offered this gift.” Someday she’ll be on your side, Toriel! Sooner than you think, she’ll be the person most on your side in all the world!

Heh, when asked if they envy the humans, someone in the audience says “They’re seen enough!” That’s Astygmatism, of course.

A Whispoorwill… another made-up monster race. I guess it’s like a will-o-the-wisp, but it whispers whoopy whispers like a whippoorwill.

Biff, the orange soul, killed by a canine guard? This is accepted by some theoreticians, because the canine guards introduce the concept of blue attacks, and as orange represents motion, Biff may simply have been unable to stand still.

Likewise, the idea of the blue soul (Celine) being killed by Aaron is accepted. When you’re in blue mode, you have to jump everywhere, much like a ballet dancer might. Aaron’s bicep attack comes from below and would be very hard to dodge in blue mode. I imagine that the current Aaron wasn’t alive back then, but that it’s a family name.

Likewise, the green soul (Natalia) is believed to have been killed by the royal guards, since in green mode (against Undyne), you have a shield that protects you in one direction, but the guards team-attack from the top and bottom simultaneously.

Undyne claims that according to old diaries, all the children who left Toriel’s house killed at least one monster. She isn’t lying. Biff and Mickey were naturally violent; Natalia tried to be kind but took poorly to being startled; Celine killed a Temmie who tried to be too friendly with her, wrapping its extending leg around and around and around her; and Horace resisted capture by royal decapede, centipede, millipede and gigipede guards, accidentally squashing one’s head by mistake.

Undyne would indeed have lost the vote if she’d allowed it to proceed. People with bad intentions might be heavily outnumbered by people with good intentions before good will prevail, because those with bad intentions cheat.

To be clear, the balcony explodes at a key moment because Knight Knight, a member of Undyne’s army, fires a Gaster blaster at it.

 

Chapter 17!

This interlude doesn’t really serve any story purpose, sorry to say. I like the fact it comes in between two action-packed chapters that cover some of the same events, making it something like an unexpected quite interlude. It’s SCENE NUMBER SEVENTEEN to mirror the W. D. Gaster journal entry hidden in the game’s files, also number seventeen. It’s Gaster talking, of course, and shows that Gaster is still around and paying some attention… but since he never returns to the story, oh well! I still think it’s a nifty diversion. (To learn what it  _really_ means, see the RIDDLES section above.)

I thought about using the name Llewyn here instead of Loox, but it didn’t seem to fit his character. Loox here stands for a generic monster, suggesting that anyone can find themselves lost and adrift.

Two or three readers wondered who the “four” are who “never die.” Were they Gaster’s followers? A reasonable guess, but the answer is: Gaster himself, Flowey/Asriel, Ziggy, and the Undying. This last is true in an abstract sense; a monster known as the Undying may be killed, but the mantle of the Undying survives, moving to someone else.

 

Chapter 18!

Froggit Advance is the Froggit that comes between Froggit and Final Froggit. I named it after the video game Frogger Advance.

Graters—a made-up race that love grating cheese and are filled with dangerous slots. If you fought them in the game, their text would sometimes be: “Sometimes the opposite of a sword is just as dangerous as a sword.”

The monsters who say “I think he’s gone” and “I think he only had one hitpoint” are talking about Sans, who proves to have only one HP in the genocide run. If he’d hit the ground, he might well have died.

SANS: luckily, i forgot to hit the ground.

ALPHYS: What? H-how is that possible?

SANS: it’s a skill. you can forget anything if you’re lazy enough.

What’s the difference between a queen and an empress? In real life, an empress rules over territories outside the borders of her state. In the Underground?

UNDYNE: The difference is it sounds cooler!!

 

Chapter 19!

At the beginning of this chapter, Toriel is afraid that Sans is dead, but she’s trying not to think about it.

At the end of the chapter, Sans keeps making excuses not to leave Toriel’s house, ad infinitum, until Toriel finally put things together and invites him to move in. I think this may be the Sansiest thing Sans does in this entire story; I’m proud of having the idea. Why doesn’t he just ask to move in? For one thing, he wants to ease Toriel into the idea of having a housemate, given that she’s lived alone for so long. But more to the point, he doesn’t want to seem like he cares much about anything. Apathy and laconism are his style, especially after having lost Papyrus. The less he seems to care, the less people will pester him for secrets he isn’t able to share.

 

Chapter 20!

Alphys crumbles up her letter to Undyne because she realizes she can’t bear to tell Undyne that she’d be a better queen than Toriel. She knows it isn’t true, and the idea of telling a lie about Toriel repulses her, having committed to telling the truth about her at the speech.

Swirl is asking whether Alphys crying in the bath is a new kind of health treatment for it. Then it says something untranslatable about the connection between Alphys’s emotions, her worth, and her guilt. In its third sentence, it asks to be taken home, and the word ‘core’ slips in, foreshadowing its decision. It is indecisive for a couple of statements, blending the words ‘river’ and ‘core’, before finally working its internal conflicts out and choosing the Core.

DisTemPur, clearly, is a Temmie-based amalgamate. It has nine tongues because it’s made from nine Temmies, I guess? Proving that cat(dogs) have nine lives AT OnCZE. Somnambular is the one who ominously tucks you into bed, also called Fingershoot.

Popato chisps are… chips made from potatoes injected with DT? o.O I guess?

Before disappearing from the story, Swirl simultaneously says “THANK YOU ALPHY” and “home at last.” And something about how the comfort of its soul eases the burden of living in the core, I think. And then it compares Alphys to the pleasure of warm water, which is its way of thanking her for all her care.

All the things Final Froggit does in its scene are directly lifted from its text in the game.

It’s too bad I never used Bratty and Catty, but at least I mentioned them in this chapter. I imagine they didn’t part on friendly terms with Alphys.

Alphys is already having the worst day of her life when this chapter begins, having lost Undyne and her job and her home at once. Then it only gets worse as she meets person after person after person who blames her—Snowdrake’s dad for the loss of Snowdrake, and various others for lying to them, stonewalling them, and committing medical and moral abuses. It’s like the emotional equivalent of already being face-down in the mud and having the back of your head slammed again and again and again. Though I don’t explicitly state it, I put in lots of hints that Alphys is moving inexorably toward suicide… until, at the very end, one person lifts her up and shows her concern and compassion. When Alphys stares after Arachnamate as it slips into the spider lair, it’s at that moment she realizes that love can come from unexpected places, and that she has one last alternative to killing herself. “RUINS OR BUST” is what’s on her mind when I write, “She knew what she had to do.”

I forgot I gave Alphys a collection of Pez dispensers. Some people collect those in real life. Is this the only trademark I included in this novel? I’m gonna say that at one point Suzy invited her best friend Lizzy over and the two of them went through all the Pez candy, laughing and tossing it into their mouths and such, and later she pretends to Alphys she has no idea what happened to it. And Lizzy sneaks one dispenser to her brother, Eggy, who works at the castle… and he eats all the candy but treasures the dispenser because it’s an angry fish head like Undyne, and later, when she lives in the castle, Alphys finds him toying with it and says she used to have one just like it, and he jumps in surprise and hides it and eventually gives her contritely back to her. And she decides to give it back to him again.

I wanted to give the definite impression Alphys had gone to kill herself, but I also didn’t want to lie to the reader. So I added “before she reached the waterfall” to “The last person to see Alphys”, and I included her packing a backpack, which lessened the impact. But she might have packed that backpack for the waterfall jump, on the off chance she somehow survived.

 

Chapter 21!

The first mention of Suzy is her application for Royal Scientist. This was originally a throwaway joke, and when I decided to make this mouse a major character, I went back to include her name and added “Recreational Dreaming” to her interests and the sentence “My dad used to work with her!” I later used her favorite puzzle type, 120 Degree Shifted Rotation, in the episode of Mettaton’s show that she appears on while Sans is judging Undyne.

Why did I call Monster Kid Eggy? Well, I wanted to give him a name less generic than Kid, but Eggy is about the most generic name you could come up with for a kid hatched from an egg. I imagine that his big sister is named Lizzy, an even more generic lizard name. Asgore isn’t the only monster who’s terrible at naming!

“Eggy’s parents had been so proud. For some reason, they never used to act like Eggy was ever going to get a good job, or make anything of himself. Was it just ‘cause he was such a turd sometimes?” No, Eggy… it’s because you don’t have any arms! I know your parents downplayed that while bringing you up, but it had a much bigger effect on their expectations for you than you ever realized. Besides, all kids are turds sometimes.

Yes, Alphys randomly slips into rambling about anime in the middle of her suicide note. I love you, Alphys.

Undyne kicks the raindrop monster (Loren) across the room and we never hear from him again. I hope he’s okay!

Alphys never solved the mystery of how water gets back up from the bottom of the waterfall to keep falling forever. But then again, given that Onionsan says the water in Waterfall is getting shallow… maybe it doesn’t? I guess we can add this to the list of things Undyne doesn’t fix, Onionsan’s faith in her notwithstanding.

Looks like Frisk picked option D on Mettaton’s last question. The text from the tape Undyne watches at the end of Part I is directly taken from the game.

 

**PART II**

Chapter 22!

The text of Sans’s phone call is formatted into paragraph but left alone… aside from one piece I added to reflect that in this story, Toriel knows that the human child killed Papyrus: “ she knows you’re a murderer, but she wants to see you anyway. some people, huh?

“sometimes i want to grab her and yell. remind her that ‘cause she protected you… you went on to kill my brother. i don’t, though, because she’s a better person than i am. but that goes without saying.

Why am I so sure that Snowdin’s newspaper is called the Snowdin Bugle? I don’t know, but somehow it came to me, clear as day.

When Sans asks Toriel about the account of the amalgamates in the paper, he’s really thinking of his grandfather. “does it say if they’re happy, tori? can anyone be happy, broken into a billion little pieces?” Sans wants to be able to believe that Gaster may still be happy, somewhere, or at least isn’t miserable. But he doesn’t admit that’s why he’s so interested because he isn’t ready to talk about Gaster yet.

Toriel later asks whether Sans thinks he has any determination, and he jokes that he probably has just one. This is a riff on how Sans has 1 ATK, 1 DEF and 1 HP. However, by Alphys’s scale, one unit of determination is the typical amount possessed by a human. If Sans had 1 HDU, he would be the most determined monster by far. In fact, Sans has no determination at all. A person kind of needs ATK, DEF and HP, but since you can live with 0 DT, that’s what he’s got.

And Toriel has about .02 HDU, which is close to half as much as Alphys has, but puts her below several other monsters, including most of the amalgamates and the royal guards.

The scene where Sans and Toriel discover Alphys is the one I played through in my mind the most of the whole novel. It was highly emotional for me. A couple readers wondered why Sans was framing it as a choice—you can look back or not. He was being truthful—he really doesn’t want to put Toriel through another big life change, and knows that finding Alphys will completely upset the quiet dynamic they have going on. He wants to give Toriel that choice. If she hadn’t chosen to look back? Sans probably would have slipped back later on and rescued Alphys, then sent her on her way, without ever telling Toriel she was there.

You can tell Toriel is  _really_ surprised. “OH MY GOD” isn’t how she swears. Even when Undyne attacks her in Chapter 16, she only thinks to herself: “Oh snailshells!”

Toriel already cares for Alphys, but she really jumps into action here for a simple reason: a person’s life is threatened. She may normally be bucolic, but  _nothing_ motivates Toriel more than saving a person’s life. She’ll do absolutely anything she can to keep this visitor from dying, regardless of her reasons for being there or how she might have hurt Toriel in the recent past. If she’d had to stay awake for five straight nights with no food or water to keep Alphys alive, she would have done it without hesitation. So Tori is rather uncomfortable with the idea that Sans might have simply let her lie there, even if he did come back afterwards to save her. Even waiting that long would have risked the doctor’s death.

 

Chapter 23!

The dream that opens this chapter is inspired by three anime series Alphys loves: first a schoolgirl sequence similar to Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, then a mermaid sequence inspired by  _Ningyo no jōnetsu_ , then an outdoor court drama from  _Flower Saga Radiant._

 

Chapter 24!

Oh right—I guess Pez wasn’t the only trademark I used. I also mentioned Merry Melodies.

Alphys’s reflection implies that the only reason Bratty and Catty hung out with her is because she’s older than them, and they wanted to hang out with the older girl who knew what she was doing… until they were sucked in by trends and peer pressure instead, leaving Alphys alone

Sans implies that he isn’t throwing Alphys out into the snow just because Toriel would be upset. In truth, he might have left out her in the catacombs, but he would have left her the necessities she’d need to survive and told her not to come back.

Toriel finds it amusing that people sometimes call boss monsters goats, but knows it isn’t true. To me, they don’t look much like goats. They’re plantigrade, for one thing, and goats are unguligrade, on the far side of digitigrade. Their ears are more curved than goat ears. The most caprine thing about them is their horns, and those curve the opposite way!

When Alphys said, “R-really! B-but on the other hand… you may not be the… the best judge of character?” …I wanted to have her reply, “Well, that is what I have Sans for.” But I couldn’t do both that and have the conversation continue seriously.

Was the first fallen human really a hero? Asriel says, if you meet him at the end of the epilogue, that they were the one trying to get him to kill the humans. But was that out of malice, heroism, or self-defense? It isn’t clear, though Asriel’s criticism of them as being not very nice suggests the former. But Toriel and Alphys don’t know about that wrinkle.

 

Chapter 25!

Here, we finally slip into Sans’ mind and find a rather strange view. Apparently the world of Undertale functions, on a hidden level, something like a video game, and he knows about it. He was taught by Gaster, of course, who discovered a lot of this himself, and may have been taught by his own predecessor. This isn’t quite fourth-wall breaking, though, since he doesn’t know they’re inside an actual video game.

Why is 201.5 Sans’ favorite cycle? Because if you take out the decimal point, it’s 2015, the year Undertale was released and quite possibly the year Ziggy came to the Underground. But that’s probably just coincidence.

Apparently the Wrong Number Song is a mystery even to someone like Sans, initiated in mysteries. What chance does a humble author have of being able to explain it?

The riverman speaks inscrutably, but Sans knows he often has wisdom to offer, so he relishes being able to see him. In case it isn’t clear, in this case, the wisdom he imparts is that if you’re living for the happiness of others, you’re still living for your own happiness, even if that happiness depends on the happiness of others. And that’s something to hope for.

“With Asgore gone, Sans realized, the riverman was the only person left who knew how old he really was.” How old is Sans? Chronologically he’s in his late twenties, but he’s something like fifty in subjective time, thanks to all the slowing down of time he’s done. Sans can’t skip forward or backward in time, but he knows how to slow it down and speed it up, and he almost never does the latter. He knows that means he’ll appear to his friends to die young, and it’s never really bothered him except as regarded Papyrus… and now that issue is moot.

Undyne was way more rapt than Sans would’ve expected her to be,” watching the contestants on Mettaton’s show. Why? Because she’s watching Suzy and other contestants as part of her application process for Royal Scientist.

How is Sans aware of the punctuation Undyne is using? He’ll tell you he’s just very good at hearing inflections in people’s voices, and at reading their expressions.

Bettina is a real firecracker, people-loving, hotblooded person! It’s kind of a cruel farce she was born with only a head to work with. But she does her best!

Grillby’s dialogue is again pretty easy to infer, but he uses another clear word: “~~@.@~~”, meaning Bettina. Oh, and I think `\/\/` is ‘cocktails’ and >|.< is an icky face.

 

Chapter 26!

I just realized I mentioned Toriel bleeding from her bullet wound in this chapter, but monsters don’t bleed. We’ll say she was bleeding dust, and that only because it was part of how Mickey imagined the wound working. It was created and defined by his own powerful human imagination.

The distinction between individual named monsters and races of monsters is a weird, tricky one. Aaron is a real name, so we assume Aaron is an individual. But you can kill him multiple times, and have to if you’re playing genocide. It’s strange any way you slice it. I used some monster names as given names for individuals and some as racial names. Tsunderplane is referred to as an individual in Chapter 14, for example. I’m going to say that Careplanes—what Toriel dressed as for her penance in Snowdin—are a race, and Tsunderplane is an individual belonging to it.

Sans finds beets at the southern edge of Waterfall. I imagine that the Underground doesn’t have any realms we don’t pass through in the game, but that each realm is much huger than what we see on our path.

Sans’s mom was on the geologic response team. I never found a place to mention it, but that’s connected to what Llewyn does for a living, though he stays out of the science end of things. I’m guessing his job involves some paperwork and some rough work cleaning up from disasters.

The theory of light that Alphys describes seems sort of like the theory of relativity, on the surface. Just to be clear, it’s actually totally different and false (in the real world). But I was impressed by how easily it came together. Oh, and what they’re calling ‘dark light’ is just the part of the electromagnetic spectrum that’s not visible. So that part is real.

Does Gaster talk to Alphys in dreams? She should really confer with Suzy about that, as it’s her junior colleague’s specialty! But I’m gonna say yeah, he totally does, and Chapter 17 is an example of what it’s like.

We never find out what Sans did to make Gaster disown him. I don’t actually know, but I think it’s connected to the reason Sans doesn’t stick around to fight Undyne in the penultimate chapter. He doesn’t want to use his time-manipulation powers to fight. He’s willing to do it if it  _really_ matters—as it does in Chapter 16, or in the genocide route—but not in Chapter 41 until Toriel’s already dead, at which point he loses it. He must not have seen eye to eye with Gaster on what their abilities should be used for.

Toriel is not always honest. She is an exceptionally honest person, but she is willing to make occasional exceptions in order to spare people’s feelings. However, even these exceptions are based on principle. Integrity, as I see it, is the extent to which one lives one’s life based on principles, and although honesty is not Toriel’s highest principle, she does have an extremely high level of integrity. Possibly the highest in the entire Underground. Is it any surprise that monsters are loyal to her and Alphys falls in love with her?

Sans: “oh toriel. you have  _no_ idea.” This line is taken from the pacifist route epilogue, and refers to how fans made tons of Toriel erotica after the demo was released.

 

Chapter 27!

I never followed up on Alphys testing the dirt that Flowey grew in, but nothing came of it— it was just like ordinary dirt. Tragically, our heroes have no way to get in touch with Flowey—they just have to wait for him to show up again.

 

Chapter 28!

I originally made this scene omniscient. When I changed it to Sans’ point of view, I had to drop this line: “When Sans came home, he was lugging an unevenly packed box of random belongings—a trash bag full of socks, a weirdly creased ball of sheets, part of a disassembled treadmill.”

Sans reports that Flowey had Papyrus put tabasco sauce in people’s food. Why? I have no idea. I did think of following up, maybe having him do it to Llewyn, but that idea never gelled.

When Sans asks about Flowey and Undyne and how much determination they have, he’s trying to figure out who the Undying is. If it’s Flowey, he figures, they could be in trouble. If it’s Undyne, they could be in a different kind of trouble. Later, he asks a hypothetical question on the same subject, looking for guidance on whether it would be fatal for everyone if the Undying chose to reset. It’s Sans’ job to worry about this kind of thing, but it weighs on him, so he finally decides to share some of his burden with Alphys while Toriel’s out of the room.

I thought it would be really poignant if the human were to call them back in the middle of a big argument, so I had to contrive something for them to argue about, and it turned into a huge, woolly airing of all their grievances. :-)

I wrote some of the exchange between Sans and Frisk way back when I was writing Chapter 10 or so, and had to wait a long time to finally use it.

“I… was dumb. I know that. I guess… it’s just that I was getting frustrated, and I hadn’t killed anything yet, and I was wondering what would happen. So I… so I tried it.” Frisk was thinking like a video game player. This is a mentality that Flowey understands, but Sans doesn’t.

How exactly Frisk crosses the barrier again without absorbing Asgore’s soul is a bit of a mystery. I opted for the cop-out that the source that told Alphys that was just erroneous—after all, how do the monsters know what exactly it takes to get out? And besides, if humans can fall into the mountain, why couldn’t they leave? Presumably the barrier covers the hole in… and if it doesn’t, the monsters could climb or fly out that way.

Sans risks asking Frisk if Flowey killed them just to make sure that Frisk still had reset power at that point. His calculated risk pays off—both Toriel and Alphys are too distracted to focus on this point.

As I describe later in Chapter 40, Sans is able to forgive Alphys here only because the human is so bad that they make Alphys look good by comparison. Like Undyne, Sans needs someone to hate.

I was in Baltimore for Bronycon when my host sang along passionately to fun’s “Carry On” on the radio. I’d heard it before, but this peaked my interest in the song, and when I watched the video, somehow it reminded me of Undertale. It surprised me how well many of the lyrics fit. Yet no one commented on it when I included it as the first bonus song!

 

Chapter 29!

After the previous chapter’s rising tension, this one is characterized by excited cheer. Toriel stops thinking about how to address the question of whether Alphys is fond of her, and simply throws the question into conversation. I was looking forward to that moment for a long time, having originally expected to get to it in Chapter 23 or so, but the characters demanded a slower approach.

I like how Toriel has three objections to herself and Alphys being a couple, and the fact that they’re the same sex is the  _middle_ one. Neither the most obvious objection nor the core of things, but just a minor detail. I imagine that the Underground has a heterosexual norm, but it’s a  _very_ weak norm, because monsters are so diverse and respect each others’ uniqueness.

Apparently Sans can hear background music. I never used that anywhere else, but I guess it’s yet another thing that distances him from other people.

The “You are very good” game. This was something I wrote well in advance and seemed little weird here, but I used it anyway. Toriel says this to Frisk after Frisk talks to the training dummy, and I thought the line was funny. But how did these two wind up trading banal compliments? Whose idea was it? I feel like Toriel probably told Alphys that she was a very good person on the inside, and Alphys felt so good in response that she worked Toriel up into playing the game. This is when Sans realizes that Alphys is actually good for Toriel, and therefore that he’ll have to swallow his distaste for her and invite her to stay in the house after all.

“bone appetit,” says Sans. Was this the only bone pun of the whole novel? o.o

“Woolly Love”—I was so excited about this song parody. I would sing it to myself in the shower. The original “Fishy Love” video I linked to is really cool, and there are a couple other versions out there too. I came to admire Griffinilla’s My Little Pony songs when I was into that fandom.

 

Chapter 30!

Hooray for 23-word chapter titles! Wonder if I’ll ever break that record. Also, hooray for suddenly switching to a scene between OCs two thirds of the way through the novel. Richard Adams did an even more unexpected POV shift in Watership Down, though, so it must be okay!

“Adluminology” is a word I made up to mean the science of strategic dreaming, based on the Latin _adluminere._

Interestingly, when I decided to go with the name Suzy Creamcheese instead of Sissy Carmichael, the character’s personality changed a bit. She was originally meant to be more geeky and not very self-aware, and instead she turned out to be a very feminine, very self-conscious child who loves both ribbons and ambitions. It’s funny what names can do!

These two live in the walls of the Gridleys’ house—a couple of the checkerboard-faced variety that we meet in Hotland. One of the amalgamates was returned to one of them, which is why Alphys refers to “Mr. Gridley” in Chapter 35. The weird thing is that they’re not actually any smaller than the Gridleys—but mice live in the walls of houses by tradition, so many houses in New Home are built with huge gaps between the walls.

And yes, “Mrs. Clamydia” is the character known as Clamgirl.

 

Chapter 31!

I added the letter to Arachnamate at the beginning of this chapter after I’d written a lot more chapters, and I suddenly realized it was too sad for Arachnamate to go on thinking Alphys was dead. And serendipitously, it lent metaphorical meaning to the destructive project Alphys was already working on in this chapter! I was going to have a letter like this come later and garner Undyne’s attention, but I couldn’t have Arachnamate wait that long, so I went with correspondence with Muffet for that purpose instead.

We hardly know anything about the mysterious Suzy in the game, but I managed to mess up one of the few things we do know. Clamgirl says Suzy is about Frisk’s age, yet I made my Frisk ten and my Suzy eighteen. Oh well—Suzy looks young for her age, Frisk is precocious, and Clamgirl isn’t very good at judging human ages, I guess?

Probably a good thing Alphys didn’t stick to her first impulse of how to impress Toriel—by bringing her son back from the dead. That would have led in a rather different direction! Instead, this scene presages the limousine Alphys eventually builds for the spiders. I wonder how obvious that was in advance!

 

Chapter 32!

Suzy has no trouble swearing off suicide forever. She’s a girl with a complex self-image but very high self-esteem.

The walkthrough Alphys writes for a fictional game may seem geekier than anyone could possibly be, but consider that I once wrote a walkthrough for a little-known French computer game about dinosaurs in the form of a novelette from the point of view of one of the main characters that I had a weird crush on. So. Eat your heart out, Alphys.

I originally didn’t have the dream in this chapter, but added it later when I realized I’d never followed up on Suzy’s resolution in Chapter 30. I wonder if these two might just end up together someday, once Frisk is old enough!

The woman and man we meet in this dream are indeed Frisk’s parents. Frisk lives in a small, European-style village, though perhaps not quite as small as it seems in this dream. No one there knows the legend of Mount Ebott anymore, which is good, because if they did, after word spreads about these monsters Frisk is trying to save, humans would start dropping in by the dozens. As it is, no would-be adventurer knows exactly where to go.

 

Chapter 33!

It seems like whenever I see the talking rock mentioned, people assume it’s male. It seems female to me, though, probably because it calls you “pumpkin.” I wonder if anyone’s ever written a story about it! Hm, not finding one. I thought people wrote stories about everything!

If Napstablook loses hit points just to be polite, I figure they probably get tipsy when drinking just to be polite, too.

My second time mentioning cardamom! It’s a spice from South Asia, but I think Toriel likes it just because it has ‘mom’ in its name.

Apparently weevils are one of the safer kinds of insects to eat. One of my readers identifies with a particular weevil species, which I why I chose them for this dessert. I know it looks like I chose them to set up Sans’s pun, but that was just serendipity!

 

Chapter 34!

The central analogy of this chapter was almost too perfect—it kind of fell into my lap. That said, I did more web research for this chapter than for any other, including watching a TV show about people doing this in England.

Yes, Toriel, she asked to go smelting! Why, what did you think she said?

Strykers are another made-up monster race. They’re blacksmithish, with hammers and scythes for hands and anvil-shaped bodies. And if they strike their scythes against a certain place on their backs, they start a flame!

Kowpies are a kind of monster that produces leather. But somehow not meat. I guess they molt leather?

Oh, those Moldsmals and their love for ammonia.

I don’t actually  _know_ if any manga features a character with a crush on both a wife and a husband; it just seems like the sort of thing manga would do.

If you think being happily married to Toriel in the end is going to keep Alphys from writing shipfics about Toriel and Asgore, then you don’t know this lizard! She dashes out notes when she’s on her way to places for official queen consort functions.

Even within the suit, Alphys’s tail rose hopefully. “And… a-and can we be partners in sex, too?” This, my friends, is what we call ‘confidence swings’. Alphys can be rather zero-to-sixty sometimes. Until she said this, I didn’t even know if monsters  _had_ sex. I’m still not sure if it’s how they reproduce.

 

Chapter 35!

This chapter was originally called “On the Playing of Roles,” but well, c’mon.

Suzy’s interest in safe-cracking is an allusion to the safe in Hotland with a piece of cheese in it. Knowing that someday the mouse may crack the safe fills you with determination!

I added a paragraph to Suzy’s letter about Undyne when I decided it had been too long since we’d heard from her. Poor Nice Cream guy! But the upside is that the denizens of the Underground invented at least a dozen new card games using all the punch cards left lying around.

Toriel is silly.

When Sans wakes up, the ladies have somehow decided to recreate their scene from Chapter 13, only this time Alphys is twice as awkward and doesn’t think of sending the letter along later. Fun is had by all.

We never actually see Alphys roleplaying as Toriel’s human children, but we can assume that this is something they do in the three months after the fateful Xmas but before Undyne learns about them. And we can assume it does, in fact, bring Toriel solace. Unsurprisingly, Alphys turns out to be best at playing Emma and Horace… and her Biff is pretty good too, since he was not a complicated child.

“There is no reason why adults cannot tell bedtime stories to each other,” chided Toriel. Is this true? Is this something actual adults do?

 

Chapter 36!

This chapter has sooo many sections. It’s two Mew Mew Kissy sections sandwiched in between three about shrines, and these are interspersed between bedtime stories about the six children, and  _these_ are interspersed between Alphys’s journal entries. And I tried to relate the scenes to each other through little connections. This was an ambitious chapter.

Another wrinkle is that I tried to include excerpts from the bedtime stories that moved through the process of telling a single story. That is, I used the beginning of Emma’s story, the second part of Biff’s story, and so on up to the end of Mickey’s story. And did you notice that each child’s story includes the word that represents the virtue associated with their soul?

I like that Toriel describes herself thus: “She had horns and white wool and a kindly, clever smile.” It’s a cute self-image.

Alphys says that she lacks on-demand magic of her own. I forgot that she saves you with a lie of lightning bolts in the pacifist ending when Flowey is attacking you! And later, in the Asriel fight, she attacks you with Mettaton’s attacks. Oops! I can only speculate that that was already part of Flowey’s mental realm or wherever the Asriel battle takes place, and so the rules are different there.

Entry 18 leads us to my theory on the secret Gaster entry. It’s numbered SEVENTEEN, and there’s no Entry 17 in the true lab. So was his entry part of the same project? I decided that it wasn’t—it was three or four years earlier—it’s just that, after Gaster’s accident, Alphys didn’t want to even use Entry 17 in any of her projects anymore because of the trauma. So she ‘retired’ the number, much like some buildings are built without a floor numbered 13, for luck.

So what does happen if Mew Mew ‘misses the kiss’?

Remember the name Ryuki from Chapter 32? I did a continuity!

Sans must have made a trip out of the Ruins in order to pick up dog residue for the Dogi’s shrine. Think of that! I wonder if they had dog salad for dinner.

“The inscription along the stone’s bottom began with a circled cross and ended with a black raindrop.” Wingdings for ‘W’ and ‘S’.

Humans must be able to damage monsters with their imaginations, as Mickey does in his story—after all, the Empty Gun is empty, yet still does damage. Talk about the power of roleplaying!

 

Chapter 37!

Last chapter was the “memories” chapter; this one is about the joys of the present. In particular, it represents all the instances over the course of a year in which Alphys expresses her romantic affection for Toriel. Alphys is very behaved overall; she just has a few lapses every now and again. These are those lapses!

The Accession of Undyne defines a new era in the monsters’ calendar, although some of them probably still use the human calendar from the surface.

Grendel, cited here as the first king of monsters, is the name of a nastyhead maneater in the epic poem Beowulf.

Q: Since no rain falls in the catacombs, how do the chalk drawings they make eventually disappear?

A: Oh, those Moldsmals and their ammonia!

Toriel is being drawn further and further into love in this chapter. She isn’t willing or ready to love Alphys because of the lines she’s drawn for herself, but in most ways, she  _is_ ready—she absolutely adores Alphys by now—and so she permits Alphys to go farther than some actual lovers would. (“I’m not done loving you yet!” “Alphys, do you realize what your right hand is doing?”) It’s like a supercooled liquid, ready to freeze at the slightest touch.

 

Chapter 38!

I wonder what gifts the talkative rock gave and received. What do you give the friend with no physical features?

I guess Toriel’s ears can rise all the way up—it’s just extremely rare for her to be stimulated like that!

I considered actually dividing up the lyrics to “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” but decided that would be kind of pointless, and summarized it instead. But I also imagined the various characters singing it several times!

Now Toriel is  _really_ pushing her supercooled state, going  _naked_ for Alphys without romance being present. That’s gonna bad hard to sustain, even for you, Toriel!

This chapter made me cry so much. The presentation of Alphys’s gift, the presentation of Toriel’s gift, the windblown ‘conversation’ in the yard, the giving of the second gift. I’d been building up to this for so long! In a way, this chapter is the climax of the novel.

Sans’s joke really is quantum-indeterminate. He’d planning to leave unless they ask him not to, in which case it’s a joke. He’s been planning to do just this for a long time, in fact.

I wrote this chapter, including the bonus song, around Christmastime. “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is a popular Christmas season song, and one of the best-known duets. Since it’s about a guy trying incessantly to keep his girlfriend from leaving, and she even asks, “Say, what’s in this drink?” at one point, it certainly has creepy overtones… but that kind of fits this relationship, too. Although if Alphys is creepy, it’s only because she loves so hard.

 

Chapter 39!

This is probably the weirdest chapter of the novel. I’m fond of the card game bridge, and I was in a bridgy mood, so I said what the heck and decided to have my characters take it up! It seemed to work quite well, each of them having their own style. This illustrates a concrete benefit of Alphys’s gift to Toriel, since Muffet wouldn’t be able to join them without the heated limousine.

I tried to make the hand they play make actual sense, but I didn’t actually lay out the hands to make certain. I did revise it a couple times when the number of tricks didn’t seem right, though. I wonder if it actually works! A long time ago, I wrote a fantasy story about a bridge rubber played in an oracle’s castle, and while some of the hands were sort of interesting, it wasn’t nearly up to professional snuff.

Alphys has a bad habit as declarer (and even sometimes as defender) of claiming way too early for her companions.

Muffet’s letter is followed by Undyne putting down a letter angrily, but I should note that it’s Alphys’s letter to Muffet she’s found, not Muffet’s letter to Alphys. Of course, they’ve both written back and forth many times by now, so it could be any number of different letters. Alphys has lost a certain amount of her caution and has started interacting with the world again… and it’s going to cost her.

Again, Suzy’s cheese-based interests strike. Extracting cheese from crystals is a reference to the cheese in the magical crystal in Waterfall that the mouse may someday learn to extract.

Mettaton mentions Gerson sneaking in to lecture Undyne. Ever since she fired him as captain of her guard, he’s been sneaking in regularly to try and keep his promise and tell her that she’s doing the wrong thing. So far, she hasn’t done much listening.

This takes place early in the morning, so the army will reach the Ruins by noon tomorrow without counter-orders.

The source of this chapter’s bonus song is sung by King George III to the newly rebellious United States, declaring in a jazzy love ballad of denial that contrary to their current inclinations, they’ll be back. Unlike the other bonus songs, this one specifically fits with this story, not just the same general part of Undertale. You can imagine Undyne singing it as she marches with the army backing her up.

 

Chapter 40!

Like chapters 36 and 37, this chapter takes place more or less concurrently with Chapter 39 over the course of the three months following Xmas.

Does the idea of being happy whenever you see something yellow because it reminds you of someone you love ring a bell? This must have slipped in subconsciously from  _The Little Prince_ , because it wasn’t a deliberate reference.

At last, a pun barrage! I couldn’t go the whole story without one!

We can only imagine the kinds of conversations Suzy’s been having with Frisk. Philosophical ones, no doubt, and heady ones, full of escapism and fantasy and encouragement with a hint of naughtiness.

Sans’s emotional problems are so intense they make the room seem to heat up! And he’s been on a long walk through a dark valley ever since Papyrus died. At Xmas, he started to see the light at the end of the valley… and now, at last, he makes it over the final ridge and out, and finds himself blinking in the sun. There are still clouds, but the valley’s behind him, and he has friends to guide him.

“Maybe I’m the riverwoman. Maybe I’m a bird with willpower leaking from my uropygial gland, or an eager face in search of a shoe. Or maybe I just meet with them for watercress sandwiches every Wednesday,” writes the riverman. He’s referring to the bird who carries you over a disproportionately short gap and the ferry blob, respectively—his colleagues in transporting people back to where they’ve already come from. I imagine the three of them do in fact meet for sea tea and sandwiches every week to discuss the business of reducing tedious pace-retracing and streamlining story design. Maybe they alternate meeting in the Snowdin tunnel and the Hotland elevators.

The riverman has a principle—he’s only willing to carry people on his raft if they actually have someplace to go, and only for the amount of time it takes to get there (which somehow always seems to be the exact right amount of time). And he won’t meet with people (aside from the aforementioned colleagues) anywhere  _but_ on his raft. So Alphys has to come up with an excuse for where she’s going.

The dolls Alphys gives him are found in the children’s bedrooms in Toriel and Asgore’s respective houses, and are used in the freakishly bizarre bullet patterns of Reaper Bird, one of the amalgamates. The dolls are called Everyman, and I imagine they’re a popular generic doll in the Underground and Reaper Bird’s attack is based on them. Alphys is trying to figure out whether humans make things magical just by being around them, or by showing emotion, or by doing their own personal equivalent of magic.

 

Chapter 41!

For most of the story, I wanted to keep all my chapters no longer than 8,844 words, the length of Chapter 16. But I finally had to give up on this one. It’s the most action-packed chapter of the novel, and breaking it up would destroy the tension.

I kept track of all the song titles I used for alternate chapter titles. I had a bunch left that all seemed to fit this extra-long chapter, so I threw in five of them to amp up the reader’s expectations—this chapter’s gonna be a big one.

Heartwoulds are emotionally driven carpenters who make masterwork things out of powerful wood, something like the famous blacksmiths, sometimes Japanese, in stories about legendary swords. Dunno what they look like, though.

Toriel just has a feeling that after everything she’s been through in her life, this conflict is finally going to be what ends it. In a way, she’s right.

Undyne complains about stupid monsters, referencing the Mystery Key sold by Bratty and Catty, the kids in Hotalnd obsessed with school closures, and—less obviously—Onionsan’s band, the Red Hot Chibi Peppers, trying incompetently to get their first gig.

I totally made up another anime,  _Bluestar Void Zero_ , just to give Alphys a reference point to hit Undyne with. I imagine it takes place in a version of space with weird lighting and energy effects happening all the time, as if the characters are determining the destiny of the universe.

I imagine that when monsters take damage in general, it damages them in semi-random visible parts of their bodies, but these injuries will heal with healing items, including food. However, certain specifically directed injuries—such as those to the eye or ear—will not heal.

I wasn’t sure how to depiect Undyne’s spears from every direction with an energy shield there to block them. What does this represent? I decided to take it literally and just say that for some monsters, there’s such a thing as ‘combat mode’ in which their bullet patterns become relevant and other conditions may apply.

How can Toriel bear to use Alphys as a shield, without even any argument? She wants to argue; she dearly wants to, but she knows time is very short, and she can intuitively tell how the argument will play out even before she reasons it out in her head. Sans has perhaps gone for help, but unless he shows up at the exact right moment, they must do anything they can to keep Undyne from killing Toriel. The only way they can do that is to block with Alphys, because Undyne  _may_ be dissuaded from attacking. It does risk Alphys’s life, but Toriel knows that if they talked it out, they would consider the loss of Toriel’s life worse than the risk of both of them dying. There must be a chance they can remain together, and this gives them that chance, so Toriel takes it. That said, she intends to drop Alphys if Undyne  _does_ fire.

Undyne didn’t realize she could save, though she’s had the power for years, aside from a short period in which first Flowey, then Frisk, and then Flowey again had the power. So how does she manage to save now? Boosted by a huge level of anger, this is the first time she’s been absolutely determined to make a wrong thing right, through any means necessary. That, I speculate, is what it takes, and the save points in the game represent things that inspire Frisk to that level of determination.

Finally, Flowey! His attitude is a little different here than it ever is during the game. He’s been through the wringer, ever since he lost the battle to the six souls, who drained him of most of his DT. He’s been slowly recovering (though he exaggerated how horrible the process was) and unable to talk to anyone until a few months ago. Even then, he was unwilling. With Undyne, he’s pretending to be friendly but not saccharine, with bursts of controlled anger, because he feels (correctly) that’s what will win her respect. But what is he really up to? Well, he’s delighted that he’s finally found the Undying, and now he wants her to kill Toriel and save over her file (he knows she only has one flieslot), solidifying his own mother’s death. Why?

… **REASON NOT FOUND**

If he can’t have that, he wants Undyne to reset so that he can start over and do better when the human comes down, But he doesn’t realize that the consequence of this will be being left behind. Frisk may have reset any number of times when coming through the Underground, but this is the Flowey that resulted from such resets, and he vaguely remembers them happening due to his special attunement. He doesn’t realize that when someone resets, the world splits, leaving one version of him hopeful and one version frustrated. Maybe the same thing happens when someone loads a file. Who’s to say it doesn’t?

I imagine that he kind of remembers their previous conversations after Undyne reloads, but not fully. He’s very good at changing himself in subtle ways to reflect what happens in previous timelines, and then keeping himself that way (somehow) through the loads and resets, so that he has a collective sense of what happened. If that feeling is good enough, it’s basically memory. But I feel like to some extent, whenever he remembers your previous actions in the game, he’s faking—putting what he doesn’t directly remember together with clues. I think Sans can do the same to a much lesser extent, and even Toriel and Asgore are a little sensitive in this way without even realizing it.

After each reset, it’s a while before he comes back to talk to Undyne because, as he says, he was a mile away when Undyne saved her file.

“If Undyne somehow died, she wouldn’t be able to go back.” Or would she? From Flowey’s story in genocide, this isn’t quite clear.

Where did Llewyn and Gerson get Gaster blasters? Simple—Sans went to visit Suzy in her lab and picked them up before going to recruit those two. He wasn’t, for personal reasons, willing to fight Undyne one-on-one, because while this situation does concern the lives of people he cares about, it’s not what he considers an absolute emergency, as it was when the fate of the kingdom was at stake, to say nothing of the fate of the world in genocide. So he found a couple allies who are both old and bitter enough to use them. True, Gerson seems mostly cheerful, but he’s been through his share of bitter times he can draw from when he needs to. Why did Gaster make those the qualifications for using his blasters? That’s just the way he was.

Gerson came there to imprison Undyne if her behavior calls for it. He still loves her and doesn’t want to kill her. But Llewyn has no such compunction, and Gerson can appreciate his frankness. Undyne doesn’t want to kill either of them, but she’ll beat them senseless in order to get what she wants.

When Toriel escapes into Snowdin Forest, where is she planning to run? She doesn’t know. Maybe some kind monster who sympathizes with her will happen to find her and take her in. Maybe she’ll burrow with Lesser Dog and Endogeny.

Frying pan combat! Because Earthbound proved it’s the best weapon a girl can wield.

In Undyne’s last try, Flowey is somehow able to distract Sans from coming to help. How? We’ll have to use our imaginations. Maybe by threatening innocent monsters wherever he is, not that’s clear what he could do. Presumably, over the course of hundreds of resets, he’s learned how to push Sans’s buttons (and vice-versa).

In the final try, Alphys can’t say or do a thing because she’s drowning in regretful thoughts of how happy life with Toriel could have been. Compared to that, the real world feels barren.

It makes sense the MTT Resort would have a crazy game room, right?

I don’t feel like I got it across as well in writing as I’d like, but the part that made me cry hardest of anyplace in the whole novel was the part in this chapter where Undyne realizes that she’s been the true villain all along.

Sans honestly doesn’t know what happens when someone else in your timeline resets. Are you just gone? Do they leave, or do they stick around, frustrated, thinking it didn’t work when in fact, for another version of them, it did? He’s spent a lot of time mulling it over, but when the moment approaches, he’s genuinely afraid.

And in the chapter’s last three paragraphs, he feels genuine relief.

 

Chapter 42!

In the very last chapter, we finally get to see into the heads of two characters whose viewpoints we’ve never had before—Mettaton and Arachnamate. Is Mettaton’s callous interior, calculating but not cold, a surprise to anyone?

If our main seven characters are Alphys, Toriel, Sans, Undyne, Napstablook, Mettaton and Suzy (though Muffet may belong in the list), then there are only two pairs of characters who haven’t met in person yet, assuming that Napstablook occasionally accompanied Sans on his visits to Suzy. Those are taken care of in this chapter: first Mettaton meets Sans, and later Toriel meets Suzy. Graph complete!

I fantasized out a sequence in which Alphys starts to explain what science is all about to Toriel while I was at the supermarket. It was a scene I wanted to write, but the story is too long already, so I made do with the little snippet about energy at the start of Chapter 27 and the smelting chapter (34). I think these characters would be great for teaching concepts, though! I don’t doubt they find some quiet place to wander or head to Alphys’s lab and have their science lessons when they’re able to carve out time from their busy royal schedules!

I said that Mettaton won his rounds handily, but actually Doggo gave him a run for his money at the posing event. Ultimately, though, Doggo is only really a master of right angles, and Mettaton can handle any angle under the glitter ball.

One of my readers wants a picture of Toriel playing paintball against Mettaton! Someone draw that!

Flipwhip, the most determined amalgamate, is gone! They did indeed reset… and what do you bet Flowey had something to do with that? He’ll probably be pestering Arachnamate now, but I think Arachnamate is strong-willed enough to resist.

I think eventually the group tells Suzy about saves and resets—they know she’s curious enough to try and figure it out on her own if they don’t. And it’s possible Frisk has already told her.

I love how Eggy is okay with Toriel having eaten his hero, just so long as she had ‘a good reason’. But he’s still upset and misses her dearly. The central principle of Eggy’s ethos continues to be coolness… his definition of coolness just grows more mature as time goes on.

Sans cares more about Toriel than about anyone else in the world. But he really is happier having her be married to someone else that she loves than he would be as her lover himself. Toby Fox ships Sans with himself, and that makes perfect sense to me.

Why is Toriel taking back the name Dreemurr? Because she is a dreamer once more, in part, and she wants the kingdom to know of her hope. In part because she’s reconciled herself with what her husband went through, now that she’s been through the tumult of politics and is more sympathetic. Her husband’s presence in her heart is something that Alphys helped to bring out. And the last reason is so that Alphys can have more to her name. I imagine she starts going by Alphys Dreemurr, for formal occasions.

The piece Toriel writes about Alphys’s eyes was something I wrote some time ago and considered putting at the very end of the story.  I wrote the song "Surface Dreaming" before even writing any of this, but it seemed to fit a neutral ending where Toriel returns as queen, so I decided to put it at the end when the story was done.

When Frisk next calls back, Toriel arranges to have them call every week, whether they have any updates or not. After all, the monsters may have updates or suggestions or questions of their own! These calls are staggered with Toriel’s weekly morning updates to the kingdom. I was always pretty sure the barrier would  _not_ be broken in this story—that’s the purview of pacifist endings, and it felt wrong to do it—but I wanted to give a sense that it could happen any day, that various avenues of pursuit are accelerating and it’s likely the barrier will be going down, one way or another, within the next few years. And moreover, the Kingdom of Monsters is ready for it. They’re going to be facing a frantically divided human world, and the task of forging peace will be complex and challenging, but the monsters are as ready for it as they’ll ever be.

Toriel knows the barrier will go down during her reign, but she prays each day that Frisk finds their sixth and seventh volunteers at the same time, or that something else crops up to spare their need to sacrifice themselves. She deeply wants to share the sunlight with the child she has now grown to thoroughly think of as her own.

Why is Toriel unable to keep reading at the very end of the story? What emotions is she feeling? That’s up to you to decide.

Will Flowey ever show his face to Toriel again? Will they ever find the missing souls or Gaster? Will the monsters ever unanimously forgive Frisk? (I see Gyftrot as the last holdout.) Will humanity accept the monsters, or segregate them, or go once more to war? Will Alphys succeed in finding a way to keep Toriel from aging, and perhaps, in the process, discover a way to make herself and other monsters immortal? If so, where will it all lead?

I don’t know the answers. That’s why this story ends here. But if anyone else wants to take up the mantle and write a sequel, I welcome you to. The truth is, I’d be absolutely tickled.  
  


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THANK YOU FOR READING ALPHYS AND THE QUEEN**

[*<3+]

[+<3*]

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last thing - I may be done writing Undertale fanfiction, but my love for the game isn’t quite juiced out of me yet! I’d love to roleplay as Undertale characters with other Undertale characters in a variety of settings. If you’d like to roleplay with me, send me a PM or write me at thorin.tatge@pobox.com!


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